Chapter Text
Luis had always prided himself on how well he knew his best friends. It was a given of course. Being Europe's unbeatable triple threat tended to link you in ways you didn’t think possible. Not only were they psychically tuned in on the pitch but off it too, like the countless times they’d all turned up to their hangouts wearing the similar outfits or that one time they’d all managed to separately end up lost in the same location. So it was only natural when he noticed how the atmosphere seemed to shift within their friendship after him and Leo had miraculously convinced Neymar not to screw off to Paris.
It started with small changes.
Leo running up to Neymar after every goal and placing a too close to the lips kiss on his cheek. Then Neymar started yapping to anyone who’d listen about how amazing Leo was, even more than Luis thought possible. He’d thought they were just excited to still be playing together after all the transfer rumors. But then a week passed, then two weeks, then three, then a month and their suddenly overly affectionate behavior didn’t fade.
In fact, it only got worse. Luis wasn’t sure when last he’d seen Leo take a pen. He’d given them all to Ney who looked shocked and lovesick every single time Leo handed him the ball. Leo had passed every goal possible to Ney even when he had a direct shot.
Of course, Luis didn’t mind. He was happy his two friends were happy. Plus, the happier they were, the better the whole team played. So really it was a win win for everyone involved. Even if he almost throttled Leo for passing his perfect assist on for Neymar to score. However, he wasn’t sure how many more lingering touches, lovesick gazes and longing rants he could endure from either of them. He had to intervene, for the sake of his own sanity.
He dug his phone out of his pocket. Typing out a message to them both ‘Meet up at mine?’. Neymar responded within seconds ‘See you there :D’ while Leo responded a couple minutes later with a thumbs up. Okay, first order of action, get them to confess their feelings to each other. Shouldn’t be too hard.
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Leo, ever the punctual one, showed up first about 30 minutes later. He gave him a brief hug before ushering him into the TV room where he’d already laid out snacks and beers and plugged in the PlayStation. No better way to get Leo to talk than to catch him off guard during FIFA.
“So how’ve you been?”
Leo furrowed his brows in bewilderment at the question, “you see me every day?”
“So what, I can’t ask how you’re doing anymore?” Luis asked around his slightly poked out tongue.
Leo smirked slyly when he managed to score.
“Fine. You?”
Luis grumbled quietly, mentally blaming the conceded goal on his silent side mission to get Leo to talk.
“That only went in cause I let you have the first goal.”
“Sure,” Leo scoffed.
Leo scored 4 more goals. Luis following just behind with 3 goals. He groaned as he watched Xavi pull Iniesta into a hug when the full 90 was over.
“You’re getting old,” Leo jabbed coyly.
“As if…rematch?”
“If you can handle it.”
“If only people knew how egotistical you are.”
Leo rolled his eyes as he took a sip of his beer.
“Focus on the game.”
Luis rolled his in turn as they continued anyways to play round two, this time with him scoring the first goal.
“So, Leo?”
“Hm…”
He wasn’t all too sure how to proceed without being entirely tactless.
“It’s great that Neymar stayed, right?”
“Yeah, great.” He scored a goal. “Why?”
“Oh no reason…I just noticed you two have gotten…closer. That’s all.” He scored a goal. He threw a sideways glance at Leo whose eyebrows were pulled close together in concentration.
“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” He got a free kick which he smiled at when it went flying easily into the back of the net.
Perhaps this would be harder than he’d previously thought.
“He’s gotten better this year though, right? His best season so far?” He redirected. Overshot.
“Yeah, he’s really special isn’t he?” He muttered distractedly.
This conversation wasn’t going how Luis had planned. In fact it wasn’t going at all.
“When’s he getting here?” Leo tacked on.
“Soon. You know him, always ‘fashionably late’,” he quickly wracked his mind for solutions eventually figuring he’d just bite the bullet, “I actually need to talk to you about him.”
That finally seemed to catch Leo’s attention. He paused the game and turned to face Luis.
“Is he okay? Is something wrong?”
Luis was never one to go meddling but for the sake of his best friends’ happiness, he’d make an exception this one time.
“No, no. He’s fine,” Leo raised a questioning eyebrow, “I just think that-.”
Of course Neymar would choose that moment to arrive, knocking loudly on the door. Luis sighed before going up to get it.
“Luis,” Neymar smiled as he wrapped him up in a hug. He smelled good. Keeping his hands on his shoulders he asked, “how are you?” All smiles and wandering hands.
“Good. What took you so long?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He winked. “Is Leo here yet?” His eyes peered over Luis’ shoulder into the house.
“Yeah he’s here. In fact we were just talking about you.”
He could see Neymar’s face flush golden at his words.
“What about me?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Luis repeated in a tone tangled with sarcasm to which Neymar glared at him briefly for.
“You’re not gonna let me in?”
Luis rolled his eyes but his smile remained as he stepped aside and lead Neymar to the living room where Leo was fiddling with his controller. His face brightened up as he took notice of Neymar’s presence.
“Took you long enough,” he joked as Neymar let out a breathy laugh.
He sat down next to him, wrapping two arms nimbly around his shoulders and holding on maybe a little too long. They both continued to stare at each other like a pair of preschoolers until Luis cleared his throat to remind them they weren’t the only people in the room.
“Hey Ney, can you actually come help me with something?”
“Sure what is it?”
“Nothing major.”
“I can help too if you want?” Leo perked up.
“No it’s fine, me and Ney can do it,” Leo didn’t look all too convinced, “besides, you should be preparing for when I come back and beat you 6-0.” Luis smirked.
“You wish.”
Luis chuckled softly before dragging Neymar off the sofa and up the stairs to his room where he promptly shoved him in and locked the door. Neymar frowned slightly at the action. He hoped Luis wasn’t planning on holding him down and shaving his beard off again like he’d done two summers ago. But upon inspecting Luis’ rather serious demeanor, he was sure he wasn’t trying to trick him again.
“So what is it you need help with?”
“I actually don’t need help with anything.”
Neymar looked at him questionably, his eyes squinting with suspicion. He watched as Luis sat down on the end of the bed and waited expectantly for Neymar to sit down next to him. Which he did rather hesitantly.
“I need to talk to you.”
“About?”
“Leo…you and Leo specifically.”
Neymar fiddled with the hem of his above mid thigh swim shorts.
“Look I told him to stop but he won’t listen to me.”
“What?”
“All the passes. All the assists and the goals.”
“That’s not what this is about.”
“No?”
“No.” Luis took a hold of Neymar’s hand, stilling its nervous movements. “You know I only want what’s best for you right?”
“Yeah…”
The air hung tense as Luis searched carefully for his next few words.
“Ney do you like Leo?” He asked softly but still Neymar frowned looking confused at the question. “Romantically?”
If Luis hadn’t been so hellbent on his mission he would have made fun of how comically wide Neymar’s eyes got at the inquiry.
“What!? Leo? What makes you think that? No. Leo’s my friend Luis. I mean I love him but not like that.”
“I’m not stupid. I see the way you look at him.” Sparing Neymar the mortification, he skipped over the fact that he had said love and not like.
Neymar kept silent as he realized he’d been more transparent than he thought about his not so innocent crush on Leo. If Luis knew, who else knew? Did Leo know? Was it that obvious?
“Does Leo know? Luis please tell me you didn’t tell him?”
He tried to pull his hands out of Luis’ grip in a panic but Luis held tight.
“Relax. I didn’t tell him anything.”
“Oh thank god,” he fell forwards onto Luis’ shoulder, “Leo would hate me if he knew,” he muffled out into his shirt.
Luis wasn’t even sure if it was possible for Leo to hate Neymar. The very thought seemed ridiculous and almost laughable to him. He was sure Leo would have still loved the kid even if he had left them like he’d planned to.
“He likes you too, you know,” Luis said gently, testing the waters to see how much Neymar would listen to before he tried to leave the room.
Neymar whipped his head up to look at Luis with the most incredulous look he could muster painted on his face. He could only splutter as he thought a thousand and one reasons why that statement wasn’t true.
Leo saw him as a friend.
He was just a kid to Leo.
Leo could choose anyone.
But most obvious of all…
“Leo isn’t into guys.”
It was the truth. No matter how much Neymar tried to pretend it didn’t splinter his heart, it remained the truth. Leo was straight. As straight as a goal line.
He still remembered the time he’d finally told both Leo and Luis he was bisexual and in true Neymar fashion, he’d dragged them all to some random gay club. He’d never seen Leo look so out of place. While Luis had managed to strike up polite conversation with a couple of guys that approached him, albeit turned them down, Leo had spent majority of the night hovering awkwardly around the bar. It’s not like Leo had never been to a club before. He’d just never been to a gay one. Neymar had tried to pull him to the dance floor but after one too many jagged movements against Neymar’s gyrating hips, he’d called it quits and stuck to sipping his cocktail on a stool two down from Luis’ loud chatter and braying laughter. Some poor soul with blue eyes to big for his face had tried to talk Leo into some scandalous escapades and after Luis had managed to fish the swallowed straw out of Leo’s throat, they’d promptly left the bar and never brought it up again.
Now here Luis was trying to convince him that Leo who almost died at the prospect of doing anything remotely suggestive with a man was not only attracted to them but to him specifically. Neymar Jr wonder kid extraordinaire. Him.
“Why would I lie to you?”
“I’m not saying you’re lying. I’m saying you’re wrong.”
“I know you and Leo better than anyone else. And I know I’m not wrong about this.” Neymar had already started to shake his head in denial. “I know he likes you.”
“What proof do you have?”
Proof? Was Neymar blind?
“Surely even you’re not that oblivious. All the assists, the goals, the celebrations, the staring?”
“Leo’s a man of his word. He promised.”
“Has he ever promised such a thing to anyone else but you?”
“Well…no bu-”
“Exactly!” Luis held up a finger in the air to emphasize his point. “See, just you. Look if you tell him right now you like him you’ll realize he likes you too.”
This seemed to be the match that lit Neymar’s brain into overdrive. Suddenly he was swatting Luis’ hands away and standing up over him getting ready to ask if he was crazy.
“Have you lost your mind!?”
Luis tried to grab onto Neymar’s wildly gesticulating arms in an effort to get him to sit down and be quieter before Leo came up to find them and interrupted their conversation. When he kept fighting off Luis’ attempts, Luis quickly grabbed the younger man, pinning him underneath him with his full weight and placing a firm hand over his mouth.
“What are you being so loud for? You want Leo to come up here?”
Neymar squirmed between him and the soft blankets till he softly nipped his finger causing Luis to retract his hand at lightning speed. He pinched Neymar’s hip with the hand that was holding him in place against the mattress to which Neymar let out a loud yelp.
“Don’t pinch me,” he flared.
“Then don’t bite me,” Luis flared right back, biting back the grin that was threatening to escape at the ridiculousness of the situation. He couldn’t hold it back for long though and soon it spread to Neymar, causing the hint of his fangs to poke out from his mouth. “Okay, how about I set you guys up on a date?” Neymar made to argue again but Luis quickly spoke over him before he could get a word in. “If he’s not into you, no harm done. You just play it off. If he’s into you, you guys get to be happy together. And it’s me setting it up, you don’t even have to ask him yourself. Just show up.”
Neymar looked off to the side as he contemplated the proposal. Sure he could simply say no and not have to risk the possibility of Leo never talking to him again. However, Luis never lied to him about serious matters and the thought of Leo potentially being into him, wanting him, was enough to make him throw caution to the wind and agree to Luis’ plan.
“Okay. But don’t tell him I like him. It’ll just ruin everything.”
And as much as Luis wanted to quip back with some joke about spilling everything to Leo, the vulnerable look Neymar was failing to hide in his eyes made his heart soften with fondness. Instead he patted the side of Neymar’s face in gentle reassurance.
“Don’t worry, I won’t.” He finally clambered off Neymar, adjusting his clothes in the process. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
Quickly heading downstairs and finding Leo where he’d left him except now he was lying front down on the sofa mindlessly flicking from channel to channel on the TV. He craned his neck at an angle to look up at Luis when he stood in front of him, blocking his view of the TV.
“What?”
Luis sat down next to Leo’s head and stared down at him.
“We need to finish our conversation.”
Turning over onto his back, he shot Luis an expression that signified for him to continue. Luis let out a sigh before jumping right into it.
“Neymar’s young.”
“I hadn’t noticed,” he deadpanned to which Luis rolled his eyes.
“I’m being serious. Neymar’s just a kid.”
“He’s 25.”
“Yes but that’s still younger than us. And he looks up to you Leo, you know that.”
“Where are you going with this?”
Where was he going with this? It’s not like he could just outright tell Leo Neymar liked him. He’d promised him he wouldn’t.
“You’ve been giving him a lot of…help…lately?”
“Is that a question?”
“Do you like Neymar? Yes or no?”
“Luis…” he sounded exasperated.
“Just yes or no. Simple question.”
“Okay…yes,” he finally answered timidly. A blush spread across his cheeks, painting him pink with that familiar dopey smile he got whenever he talked about Neymar.
Luis couldn’t believe it was this easy to get Leo to confess. Easier than he could’ve thought possible. Of course it made sense though. Leo was after all a pretty straightforward guy.
“Great! Fantastic! Then how about I set you guys up for dinner?”
Leo looked a little confused at the question, “okay…?”
“9 o’clock Friday night?”
“Yeah that’s fine.”
Luis couldn’t believe his luck. He truly was the greatest wingman and best best friend of all time. Perhaps he should meddle more in other peoples business, give all those fairytale matchmaking godmothers a run for their money. He was sure he’d seen some of the new kids eyeing each other up. Maybe they’d be his next lucky victims. Luis the matchmaker. Not a role he’d seen himself taking on but if it was always this easy, he could get used to it.
“Okay hold on I’ll be right back.”
He went back upstairs where he found Neymar rummaging in his cupboard.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m looking for my sunglasses. I know I left them somewhere in here.” He strained a little harder then pulled them out finally. Heart shaped with blue lenses and a golden frame. He let out a triumphant whoop then walked over to Luis and placed them carefully on his face. “Lindo,” he beamed. Luis simply rolled his eyes playfully but made no move to take them off.
“I talked to Leo.”
“What’d he say?”
“He said he’d go on a date with you.”
Neymar couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Perhaps there was still hope for the unfathomable.
“Are you serious?” Luis nodded his head. “When?” He asked eagerly already feeling giddy and lightheaded.
“Friday night 9 o’clock. I’ll plan the whole thing. You guys just need to show up.”
Luis barely had time to react as Neymar flung his full body into his arms causing him to stumble back a few steps, almost knocking the glasses off his face in the process. He sang praises into Luis’ ear as he hugged him tight to his chest.
“Luis you’re the best. The absolute best.”
He wrapped his arms tight around Neymar’s waist securing him in place.
“Yeah yeah. Now just don’t mess it up.”
“I promise I won’t.”
“Great. Now let’s go and play FIFA.”
“It’s not playing if you keep losing.”
“I’ll tell Leo.”
“That’s not fair,” Neymar pouted. He quickly slapped Luis on the neck and snatched the glasses of his face before running off downstairs away from him.
By the time Luis managed to catch up to Neymar he was standing timidly next to Leo with that same damn lovesick smile plastered to his face. He handed the glasses over to Leo and beamed brightly when Leo put them on.
It was only Monday. This was going to be a long week.