Work Text:
Jungwon thought he was doing really well. He thought he was a good leader who listened to his teammates and communicated well with their staff. So how did he fall into this situation? If only he didn’t read that tweet. If he didn’t read that tweet maybe everything would be okay.
It was a relatively normal day for their group, they were preparing for their second Japanese comeback and shooting an interview on a popular Japanese show. The interview was going well, Ni-ki decided to step up and translate most of the member’s words so the MC could understand. Jungwon was incredibly proud of the younger boy, he had come a long way from when they first met as trainees.
“Jungwon, you debuted at such an early age, and you became the leader of Enhypen on top of that while you were still in school! Did you ever feel pressure to live up to everyone’s expectations at such a young age? Do you still feel that pressure now?” The MC excitedly said, innocence bouncing off his mannerisms. The hired translator fully translated the question for Jungwon as he looked at her confusedly.
“Um…well, I would be lying if I said I definitely didn’t feel pressure when we first debuted. But…I think over time I got over it and fit into my leadership role well. There definitely are times when I still feel that pressure sometimes though.” Jungwon kept his answer vague on purpose, he didn’t like talking about himself that much these days, and he liked focusing on his members much more. Call it a “side effect” of being a leader who listened to his teammates properly.
The MC nodded before saying, “Did you ever think you wouldn’t be a good leader when it was announced?”
Jungwon mulled over his answer before looking back at the MC, “I think I did think about it for a little while, but I think the nervousness to debut was a lot more important to me.”
The MC smiled lightly before looking at the group, “I think that’ll conclude our interview today. Thank you so much, everyone give a big round of applause to K-Pop sensation Enhypen for joining us today!”
They all stood up and headed back to their dressing room so they could return back to their hotel. Jungwon stayed silent the whole ride back to their hotel, something he only did when he was being sucked into the deep depths of his mind.
Did you think you wouldn’t be a good leader? Echoed through his mind over and over. Am I a good leader? Can the others feel like they can trust me? Can I trust myself? I mean…I’m only 20. I just dove into this role and didn’t look back. Am I a good leader for Enhypen?
He shook his head to rid them of negative thoughts. I’m sure the others would tell me if I’m out of line…right?
He pulled out his phone to distract himself from his thoughts. He scrolled through his Twitter feed before hesitantly typing ‘Jungwon leader’ into the search bar.
I shouldn’t be looking at this.
He clicked search. Immediately a page of tweets came up.
Jungwon is too young to lead Enhypen. It should be Jay instead!
Jungwon doesn’t really seem like the good leader type…I’m worried he’ll be harsh on the boys.
Jungwon is just too young. I don’t like him as a leader.
Jungwon doesn’t seem like he’d be good as a leader. He’s young, brash, and doesn’t know anything about leading a good group.
He inhaled the comments and internalized them within himself. He bit his lip as tears welled up in his eyes. He pushed them back as far as they could go and looked out of the window of their van. He turned his phone off and pretended to fall asleep until they arrived back at their hotel.
💙
Once they arrived back at their hotel, Jungwon chose to retire early to bed instead of eating dinner. He proceeded up to his shared room with Heeseung and sunk into his bed silently. He pulled his phone back out and went to Weverse.
I need to balance this out with some love.
He saw various positive comments about him from Engene that made him smile unconsciously. However, it wasn’t enough to stop his doubts from lingering in the depths of his mind. He sighed heavily and turned his phone off as he curled into himself on his bed. He closed his eyes and soon fell asleep.
💙
The next day, their group flew back to South Korea for a much-needed break before their preparations for their world tour. Unfortunately, it wasn’t much of a break though. One day of rest before multiple days of all-day dance and vocal practices. Most of the others decided to go out– well, the extroverts anyway. Meaning that Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon were either playing video games in their living room or just spending time by themselves. Jungwon was also planning on going out, and exploring Seoul with the other members but fully decided to stay in the dorm after their trip to Japan left him much more exhausted than he imagined.
He mostly stayed in his room that day, only bothering to leave his bed when he needed to eat or go to the bathroom. He told his members he was just going to sleep all day, but instead, he mostly scrolled through his phone numbly and looked at hate comments. He silently cried at the unusually detailed ones.
The day after that, the group started their preparations for their world tour. Their company had already picked their lineup of songs for all of their concerts, so today they were mostly practicing their vocals and practicing the first set of their songs for their concerts.
Everything was going pretty well the whole day, the group’s energy was high and everyone’s individual and combined practice was going very well. Jungwon was in the middle of his individual vocal practice before their manager called him out. He didn’t know what their manager wanted, so he innocently went out with a smile on his face, thinking it was nothing big.
“Jungwon-ah. I need to talk to you about the tour. As the leader, you’re going to have a lot of responsibilities to take care of. There’s a lot of stuff to go over, but to give you an overview, you’re going to be responsible between communicating for your group and fans. Make sure to look over everyone very carefully and talk to everyone about the preparations. The staff, the members, everyone. Do you understand?”
If Jungwon wasn’t feeling overwhelmed before, he definitely was now. He nodded as his manager talked, showing he was consistently listening to him as he made eye contact. But, in truth, he was feeling quite nervous in his abilities as a leader nowadays. Those comments certainly did a number on his mental state.
His anxiety sank into the pit of his stomach where it continued to sit for the rest of the day. After their vocal practices ended, they all headed back to their dorm in the late hours of the night.
💙
Jungwon thought the anxiety that settled in the pit of his stomach would leave within a couple of hours, or the next day. Sadly, he was mistaken. His anxiety about the tour only got worse, and it all came to a head when they were practicing their second set of choreographies for their concerts. Jungwon was glaring daggers into his reflection in the mirror as he executed the choreography for Drunk-Dazed.
Do better. Be better. Dance with your whole being. Don’t make any mistakes.
He continued to execute the choreography before their choreographer stopped the music.
“Really good job guys. You guys are nailing it. Let’s take a 10 minute break!”
They all nodded and went to different positions in their practice room to drink water and converse with others. Their choreographer left the room, mumbling something about going to look over another group’s practice.
Jungwon stared at his reflection in the mirror as beads of sweat streamed down his face. He felt a hand touch his shoulder and he turned his head to see his Jay-hyung looking at him with a worried expression on his face.
“Jungwon-ah, are you okay? You looked really stressed earlier. Do you have something you need to talk about?”
Jungwon moved his shoulder away from Jay’s hand and turned around with a defensive glare.
“I’m fine, hyung. It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”
“But–”
“I said, don’t worry about it! Just leave me alone.” Jungwon exclaimed as he walked to the door to their practice room and left without another word.
He went to a nearby bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. What was he doing? And did he always look this bad? He barely recognized himself. His cheeks were starting to cave in and his eyes held dark bags under them. Why did he have to yell at his Jay-hyung like that? He was only trying to help. He should go back and apologize. He left the bathroom and walked back to their practice room, feeling remorseful.
“Jungwon is so mean today. He’s been so critical lately, I hate it.” Jake’s muffled voice came from the practice room.
“Tell me about it. Jungwon-hyung is so bossy, he’s not being a good leader at all.” Ni-ki commented after Jake.
“Yeah, and did you see the way he was dancing earlier? He’s so critical about our dancing but he’s been slacking off lately. It pisses me off.” Heeseung mumbled spitefully, making it obvious how he felt.
Jungwon’s eyes filled up with tears before he bit his lip and held his head.
I am being a bad leader. I never should have accepted the position. Maybe I should just leave the group. I’m going to talk to manager-hyung.
He pulled out his phone and called his manager.
“Hello, manager-hyung?”
“Yes, Jungwon-ah, what is it? Do you need something?”
“I–I need to talk to you. I…I think I should step down from the group.”
“What? Where did this come from? Where are you– let me come pick you up. Let’s talk about this in person.”
“I’m still in the company, hyung. The others are still in practice though, so can you pick them up first? I’m going to practice my vocals with the teacher for a little bit.”
“Okay, Jungwon-ah. I’ll drop the others off first, then come for you. Sit tight, I’ll be quick.”
“Okay, hyung. See you soon.”
He smiled slightly and hung up the phone before heading to find their vocal teacher to practice more.
Soon, his manager came to pick him up and take him back to the dorm with the others. Jungwon didn’t want to drag the others into this though, so he decided to talk to their manager in the car instead.
“Hyung, I don’t want to drag the others into this, so can we talk about this in here?”
Their manager looked at him worriedly before nodding and putting the car in park in their apartment building’s parking lot.
“Now, Jungwon-ah, where did this come from? Why do you want to leave the group all of a sudden? Did something happen?”
Jungwon hesitated before looking at his manager emotionally.
“I don’t think I’m fit to do this anymore, hyung. I thought I could handle it, but its all becoming too much for me. I don’t think I’m fit to lead anyone like this, or even be in the group.” He whispered the last part of his sentence, but his manager still heard him.
Jungwon looked at his manager seriously with his eyebrows slightly furrowed, showing his worry. His manager looked back at him with an extremely worried expression before sighing heavily.
“I think I understand what you’re saying, Jungwon-ah. But…the thing I’m confused about is the fact that all of this feel so sudden. Have you been thinking about this for a while and haven’t told anyone? I really just don’t understand. I know being the leader is tough, especially during a tour, but you can’t just suddenly step down like this. We’d have to go through a lot of hurdles if you decided to step down right now. Do you think you can keep acting as leader until the tour is over? That way it’ll give us a lot more time to process all of this, and a lot more time to fully make your decision if you really want to leave.”
Well, if Jungwon wasn’t feeling guilty before he certainly was now. He didn’t want everyone to stress out before the tour just because he wasn’t a good leader. He didn’t know there was an official process to leave the group either; he thought he would just announce it to their staff and members and that would be that. There might be a few tears, definitely hugs, but nothing too stressful. Jungwon bit his lip nervously and nodded silently to his manager.
“I understand, hyung. We can talk about it after the tour. I’m…kind of tired, so can you drop me back off at the dorm?”
His manager smiled lightly and nodded. “Of course, Jungwon-ah. I seriously hope you think about this more before it’s too late.” Jungwon slightly smiled and nodded before opening the door to their van and getting out.
He made his way back to their dorm and noticed the others were around their dining table eating takeout. They immediately noticed him as he walked into the dorm and invited him over.
“Jungwon-ah, come eat! It’s tteokbokki, your favorite!” Jake smiled lightly at the younger boy.
Jungwon bit his lip and held his head silently.
“I’m sorry, hyung, I’m feeling a little sick so I’m just going to lie down.” He somewhat mumbled, but he was just loud enough so the others could still hear him.
“Oh, okay. Do you need some medicine from the store?”
Jungwon put on a soft smile and looked at his hyung as he shook his head.
“Don’t worry about me, hyung. I’m just going to sleep. See you all tomorrow.”
He walked towards his room as tears welled up in his eyes and shut his door. Once in the safety of his room, tears flowed down his face as he muffled his sobs into the pillow on his bed. Once he settled down, his sobs dying in his throat, he fell asleep on his bed peacefully.
💙
Jay was very worried about Jungwon. After his tiny outburst at their dance practice that day, Jay knew something was going on with Jungwon. It wasn’t like the younger to push his hyung away unless he was hiding something from them. He just couldn’t figure out what it was though. Did someone say something to upset him? Was it the role of ‘leader’ giving him stress? Or maybe, Jay was just reading into the situation too much and Jungwon was just tired from practice all day. Jay wanted to go with his third conclusion the most, but something in his gut told him it was something more. He shook his head and went to join his other members before he heard them talking.
“Jungwon is so mean today. He’s been so critical lately, I hate it.” Jake commented, with his arms crossed over his chest defensively.
“Tell me about it. Jungwon-hyung is so bossy, he’s not being a good leader at all.” Ni-ki commented after Jake.
“Yeah, and did you see the way he was dancing earlier? He’s so critical about our dancing but he’s been slacking off lately. It pisses me off.” Heeseung mumbled spitefully, making it obvious how he felt.
Was Jay hearing this correctly? Were they really bashing Jungwon behind his back? Jay couldn’t believe the words coming from his members’ mouths. Usually, they would be more understanding if someone messed up or was being sensitive at practice. But with all of the preparations for their tour, it was a lot easier to get mad and direct it at one person. Jay clenched his fist and walked toward the door to their practice room, he couldn’t bear to hear another word from them. Suddenly, he heard a muffled voice from the other side of the door.
“I–I need to talk to you. I…I think I should step down from the group.” He soon recognized the muffled voice to be Jungwon’s, to which he became deeply worried.
Step down? Is Jungwon leaving the group?
“I’m still in the company, hyung. The others are still in practice though, so can you pick them up first? I’m going to practice my vocals with the teacher for a little bit.”
Jay deduced he was probably talking to their manager with his serious tone and straight-laced words. His hand reached for the door handle but hesitated silently, contemplating on whether he should confront the younger now or later. Before he made up his mind though, the younger left to go practice with their vocal teacher. Jay bit his lip silently as his brows furrowed worriedly. His hand moved away from the door handle before he turned around and walked back to his bag on the floor.
I’ll talk to Jungwon tonight. I’m sure I just misunderstood. Everything will be okay.
Soon, their manager arrived to their practice room and told them something came up so they needed to go home for the night. All of the members easily agreed, some even cheered heavily at the declaration. Jay smiled at them silently before grabbing his bag and walking out behind everyone. Their manager turned to Jay and made sure no other members were behind him.
“Is Jungwon okay?” Jay asked their manager, he knew the older man knew about Jungwon’s situation already, so there was no harm in asking.
Their manager smiled silently, he knew Jay cared about his members more than anything. He mulled over his answer, not wanting to reveal Jungwon’s personal situation.
“He’ll be okay. Theres just a lot we all need to do right now.”
That worried Jay even more. He’ll be okay. Their manager was implying that Jungwon was not okay right now in this specific moment in time, and that was not good in Jay’s mind. He always wanted Jungwon to be happy; he wanted everyone to be happy all of the time like he was.
He nodded before joining the others as they made their way out of their company building. The others talked about what they should eat when they got home, Jay joined the conversation in hopes of clearing his mind.
“What do you think we should get for dinner, Jay-hyung?”
All of a sudden, Jay had a great idea that would (hopefully) cheer Jungwon up.
“How about tteokbokki?”
Maybe if he got Jungwon’s favorite food for dinner, the younger would cheer up greatly.
“Oooh, yeah! I’m craving tteokbokki all of a sudden! Guys, let’s get tteokbokki for dinner, sounds good?” Sunoo said excitedly, smiling at all of them.
They all easily agreed, to which Jay smiled happily. Soon, they arrived home and ordered the tteokbokki. They all gathered around their dining table and grabbed plates and utensils to eat the tteokbokki with.
“Guys, let’s wait for Jungwon. If we eat it all before he comes home, imagine how upset he’ll be?” Jay commented carefully, not wanting to upset the others.
“Do you think he’ll be long, Jay-hyung? I’m really hungry.” Ni-ki commented, somewhat sassily, Jay realized his ‘hangriness’ was coming out.
“I–” Jay was about to answer before they heard their front door unlock to which they all turned around.
Jungwon walked into their dining room and Jay smiled innocently at the younger.
“Jungwon-ah, come eat! It’s tteokbokki, your favorite!” Jake smiled slightly at the younger boy.
Jungwon held his head emotionally. A pit dropped in Jay’s stomach as he tried catching the younger’s expression.
“I’m sorry, hyung, I’m feeling a little sick so I’m just going to lie down.” He somewhat mumbled, but they all heard him.
“Oh, okay. Do you need some medicine from the store?”
Jungwon put on a soft smile and looked at his hyung as he shook his head.
“Don’t worry about me, hyung. I’m just going to sleep. See you all tomorrow.”
Jay looked at the younger with wide eyes and furrowed eyebrows. Jungwon never refused tteokbokki, even when he was under unbelievable stress as a leader. Something was definitely wrong. Jay watched as the younger retreated to his room silently.
Jay turned back around to their dining table with downcast eyes. He picked at his food before setting his fork down.
“I don’t feel like eating suddenly. I’m going to go to my room. See you guys later.”
They all nodded silently as they continued eating their dinner.
💙
Jay waited until most of the other members went to their rooms to check on Jungwon. He carefully knocked on the younger’s door to his solo room before opening it carefully, upon not hearing an answer from him.
Upon opening the door, he saw the younger in his bed asleep. He walked silently towards the boy, doing his best to not wake him up. Upon closer inspection, he noticed tear streaks on the younger’s blotchy cheeks. His heart clenched in pain as he bent down to swipe the younger’s cheeks. He sat on his floor cross-legged as he carded his fingers through Jungwon’s hair carefully. His face became serious as he patted Jungwon’s hair lovingly.
“I really love you Jungwon-ah. I hope you know that.” He whispered warmly, affection for the boy showing through his words.
He kissed Jungwon’s forehead lightly before standing back up and walking out of his room.
Warm tears slipped out of Jungwon’s eyes as his face twisted silently. He turned to his side and curled into himself as he muffled his sobs with his hand.
💙
Jungwon didn’t sleep much that night. The only sleep he did manage to get was only 30 minutes at most before he woke up crying.
As he didn’t get much sleep that night, he was in a very bitter and sour mood the next day. He tried not to be, he figured it would only add fuel to the fire that he was trapped in, but it was hard when you felt like nobody around you appreciated you.
His bitter mood was translated into his intense dance moves during their dance practice for their second set of choreographies. Their teacher praised him for his sharp executions of each move, and told the others to follow his example. He’s sure that didn’t help his situation since they were already sick of him, so he toned it down a little and tried to calm down.
Jay was still extremely concerned about Jungwon. He did not fail to notice how Jungwon was literally staring at his reflection like he had committed the most egregious action. He resolved to talk to the younger during one of their breaks. Sadly, Jungwon didn’t stick around their practice room when the teacher called for a break.
As their dance practice continued, Jungwon started to get more and more tired; his late night antics really didn’t help at all. His body became sluggish as sweat dripped down his face and his bangs fell over his eyes. Their teacher called for a break and Jungwon took that as his cue to get his water bottle from his bag. He walked over to his bag and grabbed his water bottle before he went to walk out of their practice room.
“Jungwon-ah, are you okay?” Jay worriedly put his hand on Jungwon’s shoulder.
“I’m okay, hyung, don’t worry.” Jungwon pushed his shoulder away from Jay’s hand as he looked to the side, not wanting to face his hyung like this.
“But you looked really–”
“I said I’m fine, hyung! Can you stop pushing me around?” Jungwon raised his voice, turning to face his hyung harshly.
Jay’s hurt expression immediately registered in Jungwon’s mind, to which he flinched and looked at his hyung sadly. His eyes widened as they welled up with tears and he held his head.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered before running out of their practice room silently.
“Jeez, what’s his problem? Did you see how he talked to Jay? That was rude. He was only trying to help.” Heeseung commented to the others, not bothering to speak softly in case Jungwon heard.
That’s when Jay saw red.
“Will you shut up for one fucking minute?” He snapped, head turning harshly to where the others were.
Everyone looked at Jay surprisedly before he continued.
“He’s probably stressed with this tour and everything else coming up. And I doubt you guys are making it better for him. You know I heard him talking to our manager yesterday? He was thinking about leaving the group. You guys didn’t even try to understand his outburst yesterday, you immediately insulted him. I’m not surprised he wants to leave with you as his members. What happened? I thought we were a family. Yet you act like he’s just a burden on us now. We never would have gotten to where we were without him. We would never be this happy without him. Did you forget that?”
Jay’s fist clenched silently as he let his words out, overgrown nails digging into his skin. The others looked at him with a mix of worried and shocked expressions on their faces.
“Jungwon-hyung is thinking of leaving?” Ni-ki said in a tiny voice, unbelieving of his words.
Jay’s lips curled downwards as he nodded silently.
Ni-ki looked at his hyungs tearfully as a guilt-ridden expression formed on his face.
They all stood there silently for a while. What could they do? Beg Jungwon not to leave their group? Jay was right. Instead of trying to understand him they immediately attacked him behind his back for having one outburst during their practice. They messed up, and they needed to show Jungwon they still cared for him. So, instead of continuing their conversation, Sunghoon spurred all of them to search for him.
💜
Jungwon ran. He ran and ran and ran. Until he reached a familiar bridge. He didn’t even register he was going near the bridge, his body just naturally lead him to it.
I can’t believe I came back here. I guess it’s fitting for such a loser like myself.
Jungwon was all too familiar with this bridge; it was somewhat like a safe space for him. It held many of his memories. Good and bad. The last time he came here was when he was swimming into the depths of his depression. He was a trainee, and it seemed like his training period was never going to end at that point in his life. So, he took it upon himself to find a new way out. An on/off button he liked to call it. Tears flowed out of his eyes as he looked up into the night sky. The moon was illuminated over the river below the bridge; Jungwon thought it looked beautiful.
How could I say that to Jay-hyung? He was only trying to help me. I’m such an ungrateful brat. No one would miss me if I disappeared.
There. The floodgates burst open. He fully sunk into the depths of the sea that was his mind. His breathing became labored as he sunk to the railing of the bridge. He sat on the floor and pulled his legs against his chest. He openly sobbed as his heart ached deeply. The voice in his head continued talking.
No one would miss you. Everyone would be happy if you died. No one loves you. They’d all celebrate if you left. Do it. Jump. End it all. Right now.
Jungwon looked behind him at the flowing river below the bridge.
Come here, Jungwon. Swim in my beautiful peaceful waters.
Jungwon stood up and dried his tears as he looked at the water numbly. He held the railing with his two hands. He put one foot up on the railing, and then another. He closed his eyes and let himself sink. A splash heard in the deep night, the moonlight illuminating a single boy.
💜
Jay was panicking. He was panicking big time. None of the others found Jungwon in the building. They checked everywhere they had access to; the gym, the practice rooms, even their senior’s recording rooms.
An employee mentioned she saw Jungwon running out of the building a couple of minutes ago. Jay immediately spurred into action.
“Okay, Heeseung-hyung, Sunoo, and Jake check at our dorm. Ni-ki and Sunghoon check the building one more time. I’ll try and see if he’s in a shop nearby. Call me first if you find him.”
They all nodded silently before dispersing to their individual tasks. Jay immediately ran out of the building and checked some shops that were still open.
Where could he be? Think, Jay, think!
Then, a pit dropped in his stomach as he discovered a horrifying option.
Maybe…the Han River. He always loved it there. It doesn’t hurt to check.
Jay immediately ran toward the direction of the Han River as fast as he could, begging his feet to somehow go faster. Once he arrived, he immediately saw a figure standing on the bridge. His eyebrows furrowed as he caught his breath, carefully walking towards the figure.
His eyes squinted before he recognized the figure to be Jungwon. He sighed relieved, before his eyes suddenly filled with pre-eminent tears. He walked closer to the bridge as his body shook with fear. What was going on? Jay found Jungwon, so why did he feel like this? The boy on the bridge stretched his legs over the railing as Jay gasped loudly. Tears flowed out of his eyes before he watched the boy fall into the river below the bridge.
“JUNGWON-AH!!!” He screamed before his body immediately reacted, trying to reach the boy as he held his arms out helplessly. The boy fell into the water with a loud splash and Jay couldn’t tell if the impact to the water made his face wet or his tears overflowing. He immediately ran down to the side of the river before seeing the boy’s unconscious figure flowing by. He dived in and grabbed the boy harshly before pulling him out and moving him to the grassy side of the river. His eyes filled with tears once more as he shook lightly, partly from the cold and partly from his nerves.
He pulled his phone out and called the first person he could think of.
“Manager-hyung. I need your help.” He said emotionally, tears threatening to overflow.
“Did you find Jungwon? Where are you?”
“I found him. He fell into the Han River. I need you, hyung.”
“Okay, hold on. I’ll drive over right now. Stay on the line and listen to my instructions.”
“Okay, hyung. I’m listening.”
“Okay, did you give him CPR yet?”
Maybe Jay should have done that first. He compressed the younger’s chest as tears flowed out of his eyes before pressing his lips against the younger’s cold ones.
Soon, their manager arrived with Jake, Sunoo, and Heeseung. They ran towards Jay and Jungwon as Jay continued the CPR process on the younger.
“Come on…come on. Jungwon-ah. Come back to us. Please. Please, please, please. Jungwon-ah.”
Jay’s lips shook emotionally as he continued to press on the younger’s stomach. Jungwon’s face fell to the side and Jay sighed loudly as his eyes widened.
“No…no…Jungwon-ah. Jungwon-ah, open your eyes. Say something. Jungwon-ah. Please. Please. Please, no.” He whispered emotionally, tears falling on his cheeks.
Jay looked at his manager with shaky breaths to see everyone else crying as emotionally as he was. He faced Jungwon once more before shaking his head.
“Come on, Jungwon. Open your eyes. Come on.” He blew air into Jungwon’s mouth as their lips pressed together desperately.
Suddenly, the younger boy coughed out water from his lungs harshly as tears fell from Jay’s eyes.
“Call 119! Right now!” Jay commanded the others, their manager already holding his phone up to his ear.
❤️
When Jungwon woke back up, the brightest light overwhelmed him as he opened his eyes. He squinted as he groaned, before fully opening his eyes. Once his eyes were fully opened, he recognized himself to be in a private hospital room. He’s been here too many times to not recognize it. Mostly because of the other member’s problems, he’d always be there right beside them when they wake up. He guessed it was his turn now.
He turned his face to see his Jay-hyung sitting in a chair next to his bed, sleeping silently. His lips quivered as tears flooded his eyes. He cried as quietly as he could, not wanting to wake the older boy as he covered his mouth with his left hand. It failed, the older quickly woke up upon hearing someone crying. Upon seeing the younger boy awake and crying, Jay immediately started crying as well. He grabbed Jungwon’s hand as tears slipped out of his closed eyes.
“I’m sorry hyung,” Jungwon whispered, overwhelmed with emotions.
Jay shook his head silently as he moved closer to the younger.
“Don’t apologize, Jungwon-ah. I should’ve realized something was wrong sooner.”
Jungwon shook his head emotionally as he looked at his hyung.
“No, hyung. I kept it from everyone. I didn’t want to be a burden. I’m so sorry.” Jungwon looked at his hyung as Jay held his hand tighter. His face twisted in pain before he responded.
“You could never be a burden, Jungwon-ah. Never. We love you. We all love you.”
“Even when I’m a bad leader?”
Jay’s eyebrows furrowed as he took in the younger’s words. Jungwon thought he was a bad leader? How? Why? What could even make him think that?
“You think you’re a bad leader? Jungwon-ah, you’re the best leader anyone could ask for. You’re amazing. You listen to us and regularly communicate with our staff. You push us to take breaks and you look after all of us so well. I don’t know how you could ever think that. You’re doing great, Jungwon-ah.”
“Yeah, hyung, you’ve always been the best leader to us all.”
It was only when Ni-ki commented from the corner of the room did Jungwon notice everyone else was scattered throughout his room, looking as emotional as he did.
“You guys really don’t hate me?” Jungwon slightly whispered, not believing the words coming from his mouth.
“We could never hate you, Jungwon-ah. No matter what we say we will always love you. No matter what.” Heeseung replied to the question.
Jungwon’s eyes filled with tears once more before he held his arms out, an invitation for all of them to hug him on his hospital bed. They all immediately accepted the invitation, running to hug Jungwon carefully.
“I’m sorry for not saying anything guys. I love all of you so much.” Jungwon whispered in the group hug, only for the people in his arms to hear.
“We love you too, Jungwon-ah. We love you so much.” Jake whispered emotionally, if he spoke any louder he might burst.
Jungwon looked at his group emotionally, exhausted from all of the crying. He stared at them for a couple of seconds, before smiling, genuinely. They could all feel it at that moment. Things may not have been okay right now, but it would be, as long as they stood by each other's side and never took each other for granted.
Fin