Chapter Text
The sound of a blaring alarm woke him up, rolling out his bed dazed and confused, Steve swung his arm around wildly, searching for his shirt in between the blaring red light.
The sound of gunfire and screaming made his search more frantic, "Another one!?" He cursed, this was the Third breach this month! Seriously what was with this place? He grimaced as his jeans tore.... maybe he shouldn't have overindulged on the Taffy from the Candy Dimension yesterday.
Shaking his head, he made his way towards his drawer, eyes slowly adjusting to the blaring lights, he opened it, rifled through it until a found a clean purple shirt, a pair of jeans so faded it was practically white and a gray hoodie, he quickly donned his selection, a pair of running shoes because boy-
An animalistic roar shunted his thoughts, 682, it had to be, nothing else carried such hate and venom in it's voice, and from the sound of things, it was dangerously close to his room, "Fubbernocks!" He spat.
He dashed for his door, opening it slowly, peaking through the hallways, looking around he was greeted by piles of corpses, all with a black mucus like substance splashed across all over their bodies, some were even dissolving.... did one of them just blink? No, no, no... he definitely didn't see one of them just fucking blink, Nope, a trick of the light.
He shifted his gaze towards the left corridor, perhaps if he was lucky he could make it to Ferdinand? The big guy always treated Steve all right, even if he was scary as all Heck.
He swallowed, deftly hopping between the puddles of mucus on the ground, avoiding the outstretched hands and shielding his ears from the pained moans of the fallen agents, nothing he could them, sad as it was....
He turned his thoughts towards something lighter to brighten his mood, perhaps Ferdinand was cooking up that Ratatouille he kept bragging about last week, yes, he was definitely cooking during a Containment breach, his room was definitely safe and locked up, he was definitely....
"Okay Steve, Good Thoughts, Happy thoughts," He breathed, drawing himself further and further away from the screaming, the closer he got to Ferdinand's Room the better his situation or perhaps Big G would be better? Where was his room again?
He turned the corner and froze, a translucent humanoid shape hovered over a dead guard Cackling madly before fusing into the guard, the body jerked and spasmsed before it rose, arming itself with it's victim's assault rifle, the Spectre ran into the direction of Ferdinand's room, still laughing madly...
"Nope!" He spun on his heel and fled, uncaring of wherever the path would lead him. The sound of squelching and sorrow soon drowned the mad spectre's laugh, "Could someone just give me a break already!?" He Half screamed, half whimpered.
He was reaching his breaking point now, this place was supposed to be- he was supposed to be safe Goddamnit! (Sorry 343!) The labcoats promised him when they took him that he'd have a safe space here! They took him from one Mad house and threw him into another! He couldn't run, he couldn't even be assured his powers wouldn't screw him over and dump him in some *madder* world, but if he could at least get a place where he'd feel safe just before the nightmares started again.... and he couldn't even get that.
A crash from behind broke him outta his thoughts, he gave a quick glance and regretted immediately, Some trio of monsters on fire had decided to test 682's resiliency today, and the quartet of horrors were making their way over here....
He ran and ran and ran and ran until he bumped into someone, "Hey, what the hell!?" A woman screamed.
Steve blinked, the woman before him was dressed..... strangely to say the least, she wore stripped, Black and white Body suit, She painted her face with the same pattern, the touches around her nose gave her a predatory look, Overall she had A Feline Aesthetic.
"Shit I know you're late and all, But look where you going asshole!" She shouted.
"Ehh..." Steve looked around, Gone were White halls of the foundation, No, What replaced them were drapes and hangers and.... He seemed to be in some kind of tent, he could hear cheering noises outside.
"Well what are you waiting on!?" The striped woman screamed again, "Go get dressed!" She clapped.
"O-Okay!" He yelled.
The woman nodded, "Hero's costume is all that's left, it's in the back of the tent, Just hurry up so we can give those little snot nose brats a show!" With that she parted the tent.
Steve sighed, On one hand his powers didn't screw him over this time, as Entertaining some rugrats isn't exactly a nightmare but.... they're Children, *Children*he shuddered, Those little monsters have unique ways of tormenting a poor guy like him, Spitballs, Nuggies and all that nasty stuff that gets stuck in their fingernails that they still put in their mouth and wipe everywhere! Seriously what the heck is wrong with kids!?
He shook his head and made his way to the back, He'd take those little monsters over 682 or 096 any day of the week!
Well the costume definitely screamed Hero, Blue and Gold with bulky gloves and boots and a visor of some kind, Heh, It even had fancy Doohokies like Laser guns and a Utility belt! *Utility Belt*, He sighed, Okay , maybe a little break playing Mascot wouldn't be so bad. Well how bad can playing A hero named Hero be? It's so cheesy it's bound to be wholesome.
.....It was indeed not wholesome....
Steve wanted to scream, He probably did at one point, between the poking, stepping on his feet, The spitting, the occasional punching of his guts, The eye poking, the hair pulling, One brat even peed on him! This was terrible! But what was worse is the little gremlins that'd come up to him asking nonsense like if Hero could defeat Marquis or The Siberian or Scion, He just said yes to everything which prompted screams of protest from every child in his Presence, especially concerning Scion, "He's the first so he has to be the strongest!" One of them shouted.
He tried telling some Censored versions of Dr Bright's jokes..... to mixed results, Well the kids.... were kids, they didn't get half of them and the other half made them hysterical, especially the ones about 999 and 049 of all things.
He was tired and frustrated now, He was half tempted to take a swig of whatever the other Entertainers offered him but as annoying as the kids were, he'd rather not be buzzed anywhere near them, that and Alcohol made his head feel funny.
There were things that he found interesting about this Universe though, According to his Coworkers, Superheros were a thing in this Universe, They called them Capes and Parahumans here, Well he'd bumped into Cactus man but these guys sounded more impressive though and the Dude he was Cosplaying as seemed to be one of the top guys over here.
Brockton Bay, Has the most Parahumans per City Capita, He hoped to catch a glimpse of at least one.... No such luck though, Maybe Capes were more chill here than the ones in comic books? Well things have been a little quiet since Marquis chased the Teeth away according to them, Either way his monotonous day of Screaming out Cheesy One liners and "Beating" on his Adversaries and Quoting From his childhood comics continued, Well the Kids seemed into it so he didn't mind all that much, Heck he was getting into it himself.
Finally, after hours of torment, It seemed the event was wrapping up. The kids were gathering together to take photos with his coworkers, some were accompanied by their parents, Others with strange men and women in suits, Must be related to some people with fat pockets probably.
A small group of Kids gathered round him and clung onto him, They all posed for the Camera. One second they were in the Park and the Next......
"Oh Fubbernocks...."
He hoped the foundation had a Good Daycare service.