Chapter Text
Poe couldn't remember when the feeling started. He knows for sure that he felt it sometimes before The Guild. So that was a start, he supposes. If he could describe the feeling, he'd have to say it felt like fuzziness? Not the furry type- like Karl's fur- but like a foggy cloud. Welcoming and soft and warm. He's trying really hard not to think too hard about it. It was easier to ignore it and push it into the back of his mind, he couldn't have it getting in the way of his work.
Sometimes though, the feeling was just too hard to ignore. The more he seemed to ignore it, the more stressed and anxious he became. Which wasn't too convenient seeing as he needed to be calm and collected in order to work efficiently. Whenever he acknowledged that thought, it stressed him out even more. But for the life of him he couldn't give in.
It was an endless cycle of ignoring and pushing his emotions deep down, which couldn't be good for him. He could tell Karl sensed his anxiety too, from the way the raccoon would curl closer to him whenever he zoned out for too long. Or when he picked his cuticles too much and Karl would nudge his fingers as if to tell him, "stop that." Which was the animals job- but it never failed to frustrate Poe.
He just wished he knew what his problem was. He was far too scared to do a quick Google search, and asking one of the other Guild members would be foolish. That's how he gets laughed at- or kicked out of the Guild- or worse. It simply wasn't a good idea.
So what was he to do? Ignoring it was just stressing him out and making it difficult to do work, and he was too scared to indulge the feeling. It was mildly frustrating. He had no one to go to with this issue, only having Karl to complain to.
"God Karl, what's wrong with me?.." Poe huffed, frustration clear on his features. He looked down at the raccoon, who nuzzled his face into the hand petting his head. He gave Poe's palm a quick lick before hopping out of his lap and scurrying across Poe's desk, stopping at a book. Poe raised an eyebrow, though the action wasn't visible due to his bangs covering half his face, as he watched Karl push the book towards him.
"Hm?" Poe hummed as he reached for the book. Picking it up he examined it, it was the book he bought recently. It was one that reminded him of Ranpo. It wasn't a long chapter book, nor was it a mystery mixed with a bit of horror. Instead it was a children's picture book.
In all honesty, he got it out of impulse. It was the bright colors that drew him in at first, and then the raccoon second. The story was simple, a normal children's book, but the raccoon reminded him of Ranpo. Only because it had a hat on its fuzzy head. He wasn't gonna get it originally, but when Karl started aggressively chirping and barking when he saw it, he just had to get it.
If not for him but for Karl, he could never say no to Karl.
Poe immediately knew what Karl was trying to tell him by pushing the book towards him. And absolutely not. He will not be going to Ranpo, his rival, for something like this. That was just- stupid. He'd be an idiot to go to him. Not that he doesn't like Ranpo, he actually finds him quite pleasant and enjoyable to be around(in a rival way of course). It's just- Ranpo was a busy man.
He didn't have time to bother himself with Poe. He had better things to do, more important things to focus on.
He shouldn't be wasting his time on something as trivial and meaningless as Poe's stupid feelings. It wasn't Ranpo's job to deal with that- they were rivals anyways. It's not like he'd want to help Poe even if he asked. Poe isn't worth the time, he's just being dramatic about this, a big baby.
Karl squeaked loudly, efficiently knocking Poe out of his thoughts.
How pathetic was that? He had to have a raccoon ground him. Stupid. He was so stupid.
Karl jumped into his lap, nudging Poe's cheek and licking it. He pushed his head into his hand, encouraging the man to pet him. Poe began to run his hands across the soft fur, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself. He rubbed the fur between his fingers, attempting to focus on the texture under his hand. The other hand was gripping the book tightly.
Poe sighed as he composed himself, removing his hand from Karl's fur and rubbing his forehead. He couldn't keep this up. It was bad for him. Really bad for him.
Maybe he could call Ranpo, not tell him anything about the fuzziness, and just talk to him? Would that help? Or would it make the fuzzy warmness that scared him more than anything worse? He didn't want it to get worse- if it got worse it would be almost impossible to ignore it. He wouldn't know what to do with himself if it got to that point. He prayed it didn't as he pulled out his phone.
He flipped it open with the hand he used to pet Karl, the other one was still clutching the book. He went to Ranpo's contact and sat for a moment, thinking over if it was a good idea or not. He didn't want to regret this, and if he did that was something Future Poe could handle. Right now he just- he needed his head to be quiet. He needed Ranpo.
He clicked the call button. He hoped Ranpo would answer. He doesn't know what he'd do with himself if he didnt- of course Ranpo wouldn't answer. The man had far more important things to attend-
"Ed! What are you doing?" Ranpo's voice boomed through the speakers, making Poe jump.
"Ranpo! I wasn't- I wasn't expecting you to answer.." Poe muttered as he held the phone to his ear, setting the children's book on his desk. His hand moved to pet Karl instead.
"Obviously I answered! Why wouldn't I? You really think that lowly of me? Cruel!" Ranpo teased.
"Of- of course not! I just- you know-" Poe stuttered over his words. He didn't mean to offend Ranpo, he was for sure not gonna wanna deal with him now.
"I apologize Ranpo, I didn't mean to make you upset. I'm so sorry for bothering you-" He was promptly cut off by Ranpo aggressively shushing him.
"Non-sense! I was just poking fun at you Ed. Don't worry your pretty little head about it. Is there something that you needed? Were you wanting to hang out? Please say it's that, I'm so bored!" Ranpo whined on the other line, distantly Poe could hear a wrapper being ripped on the other side.
"I mean- only if you want to.." Poe muttered as he pulled Karl into his arms, holding him close. He got up from his seat and clutched his phone tighter in his hands. Karl wiggled into a comfortable position in his arms and nosed at Poe's cheek.
"I do! Where do you want to go? I was thinking maybe we could go to the aquarium- or maybe the Zoo? I just wanna see some animals. Do you think Karl would be allowed in there? I'll make sure he is." Ranpo rambled, excitement leaking through the phone.
Poe was already dressed, so he wouldn't have to get changed. And the aquarium and zoo wouldn't be places to dress fancy. So what he was wearing at the moment was fine. He grabbed his keys and pocketed them, and made sure to check Karls food and water bowl, which were full. He set a few treats next to the food dish.
Poe smiled softly, "I'm fine with either of those. I do not mind if Karl can't go- I can handle him being gone for a few hours." He walked to Karl's bed, it was custom made just for him. It cost only a couple hundred bucks- not too much money. Barely anything. Poe set Karl down on the bed and petted the raccoon's head softly before sitting back up. He walked to the front door, hand still clinging to the phone like it was the only thing keeping him alive.
"Okay! We can go to the aquarium- I heard they had a new exhibit opened up and I really want to see it!"
"Ah- alright. I have never been to the aquarium before.. Where do you want to meet? Do you want to meet at the aquarium or somewhere else first?" Poe asked as he opened his door and stepped outside. It was a lovely day, the sky was a nice shade of blue and there weren't many clouds out. It was kind of hot, but the slight breeze easily made up for the heat.
"You've never been to the aquarium?! Have you been living under a rock, Ed?" Ranpo shouted into the phone, causing Poe to remove it from his ear at the volume. "And we should meet at the aquarium first! And afterwards we could get a bite to eat at the cafe under the agency."
"Right. Well, I'll see you there Ranpo." Poe said as he got into his car, turning the keys that brought the car to life.
"Right!! Can't wait!" Ranpo exclaimed, clearly excited. Poe smiled at that and let out a soft chuckle before clicking the hang up button. He flipped his phone shut and prepared to meet Ranpo before remembering the detective doesn't know how to take a train.
How stupid was he? He didn't even offer to pick Ranpo up. How rude.
Maybe he could call him again and ask if he needs a ride? That might make him look needy though. He didn't want to annoy Ranpo, he was already dealing with spending the day with him. He didn't want to bother him by calling him again. He couldn't risk Ranpo getting tired of him already- he didn't want to risk losing such a good friend- no.
Friend? They aren't friends. They never were or ever will be friends. God- he's such a fool. How could he allow himself to grow such an attachment to someone like this? He couldn't be more stupid.
Poe shook his head- he had to get going to the aquarium. It was a long drive seeing as he lived far away from the city. He wouldn't be at the aquarium for forty-five minutes, he didn't want to make Ranpo wait longer than he should.
The drive was shorter than he expected- well it felt short. It definitely took forty-five or so minutes to get to the aquarium, but it felt more like ten.
He searched for a parking spot, and once his car was turned off he pulled his phone out. He checked the time, 3:14pm. Not too late in the day, it shouldn't be too busy or packed. No need to worry about big crowds of people or children. Plus, it was a Monday. He doubts anyone would be at the aquarium right now. He clicked around and went to Ranpo's contact for the second time that day and got out of his car. He pressed the call button, only hesitating for a second.
It only rang for a few moments before-, "Ed! Are you here? I'm at the entrance, if that's why you called."
Poe wondered how long he had to wait for him.
"It is. Astute as always, my dear Ranpo." Poe said, making his way through the parking lot to the front of the aquarium. He could see Ranpo leaning against a pillar, his foot tapping against the concrete.
"Of course, I'm the best detective in the world, Poe. If I didn't know why you called, I wouldn't deserve the title. But I do, so!" Poe could see Ranpo stick his tongue out, at which he let out another chuckle, though it was more of a giggle.
"Yes. Well, I see you so I'm going to hang up now." Poe snapped his phone closed as walked up the steps that led to the entrance. He could see the moment Ranpo noticed him, which was surprisingly sooner than expected. Most of the time he had to speak before anyone noticed his existence.
"Poe! Over here!" Ranpo waved him down, which caught the attention of the few people leaving. Poe felt his face heat at the eyes on him, glad that most of his face was covered.
"Yes yes, I hear you Ranpo. No need to yell.." Poe stuttered as he stood in front of Ranpo. He fiddled with the end of shirt, wrapping it around his finger before letting it go. He was sure Ranpo could sense his anxiety, and he kind of regrets leaving Karl at home. He hoped Karl would be okay- he made sure Karl had food and water before he left in case he got hungry or thirsty. He also left out just a few treats next to Karl's bowl as thanks for tolerating being left behind.
"Just making sure you saw me. Anyways, what's got you so anxious? We're at the aquarium! You're about to have the best time of your life, trust me." Ranpo grabbed Poe's hand, giving it a quick squeeze before pulling him to the door of the aquarium.
Poe's face heated up once again, he stumbled slightly as he followed behind him. His hand felt clammy and sweaty and- just not pleasant. He was sure Ranpo could feel the unpleasantness too. If so, why would he continue holding his hand? Maybe he just wanted to spare his feelings. Which Poe appreciated, but also hated. He didn't like it when people lied to save his feelings.
The physical contact felt nice though, so he wasn't complaining. Even if it was done out of pity.
When they made it to the front desk where they were meant to pay, Poe pulled out his wallet. Unfortunately, he had to remove his hand from the detectives in order to get his money out. He stuttered more than he would have liked when talking to the receptionist. And even dropped the money once when handing it over.
"Hey, thanks for paying Poe! I knew you would but I still appreciate it anyway." Ranpo said as he snatched Poe's hand once it was free again.
Poe smiled down at Ranpo before letting himself get dragged away again. He almost completely forgot about why he called Ranpo in the first place until he felt the feeling he's been ignoring all day come up full force. Along with the fuzzy feeling came a wave of anxiety.
His smile only faltered slightly as he desperately shoved the feeling deep down. He wouldn't have his stupid feelings ruin Ranpo's good day.
He bit his lip as Ranpo pulled him to the first exhibit. It was kind of dark, but not overly so. Poe was immediately drawn to the jellyfish gliding through the water. The pretty soft pinks and blues the jellyfish were glowing caught his attention. He found himself walking to the glass that kept the jellyfish inside. He unconsciously brought the hand that wasn't holding Ranpo's up to the glass and rested his palm against it. He could feel Ranpo's eyes on him but he ignored it.
He sort of wished he was a jellyfish, thoughtless and gliding through water. Nothing to worry about and pretty to look at. He admired the way the small tendrils flowed behind them. They looked so pretty, like lace on a dress. He wondered what they felt like.
Obviously slimy and gross, and he would get stung but he was still curious anyways. There was still the off chance he was wrong and they were soft? They kinda resembled mushrooms.
"Do you like jellyfish?"
"Uh- yes. I do.. like jellyfish." Poe stuttered and removed his hand from the glass. Instead he brought his thumb to his lips and chewed on the skin around his nail. A nervous habit he developed not too long ago.
"Hm. Hey, don't do that." The detective reached up and lightly moved his hand away from his mouth. Poe's face flushed as he grabbed his shirt instead.
"Right- ah- I'm sorry. Nervous habit." The writer clutched his shirt in his hand. Guilt swirling in his gut as he shuffled in his spot.
"It's okay- nothing to worry about, yea? Tell me what you know about jellyfish."
"Uhm- okay. I don't know much but I do know that they're very old, and haven't changed all that much from how they were 500 million years ago. And there are over 1,000 thousand species of jellyfish, and some of those are longer than a blue whale and some are as tiny as a grain of salt. And some people eat jellyfish, which doesn't seem too pleasant. I'd assume they have a weird, squishy texture.." Poe rambled, reciting information he remembered from all the documentaries he watched when he was a kid.
He used to love nature documentaries when he was younger. They were easy to focus on when everything around him was falling apart. He also enjoyed the educational aspect to them, and he liked learning about all the different kinds of animal species there were. Specifically sea animals. He's always liked the sea.
"Oh! And there is a species that's immortal, when they sense that they're being threatened they go back to the polyp phase. Once they do that they create buds and release medusae that are similar to the adult and in turn leads to them being reborn." He licked his lips, as his face heated up in embarrassment. He didn't mean to ramble.
No one ever really asked him about his interests before. Only Ranpo has.
"I didn't know that! I also didn't know you liked jellyfish so much- hey maybe you could get a jellyfish plushie they're selling in the gift shop! I'll get it for you, it'll be my thank you for paying." Ranpo exclaimed as he rocked on his feet. He looked up at Poe with a smile on his face.
"Thank you Ranpo.." Poe smiled back at him. He looked back at the jellyfish before letting out a small sigh. He could sit and look at the jellyfish all day if he wanted, but he knew Ranpo would get bored of that.
"Shall we go to that new exhibit you were wishing to see?.." The writer asked, pointing to the exit of that exhibit.
"Yea! Let's go." Ranpo was more gentle with dragging him along this time, something Poe was grateful for. He didn't want to lose his arm from Ranpo dragging him around like a ragdoll.
He looked at the different types of ocean animals they passed by while they were looking for the exhibit. Admiring the different kinds of fish. The touch pool specifically caught his eye. He's always wanted to put his hands in the cool water and touch the little animals in there. He's seen kids do it on TV in shows, and he always envied them. His parents never had time to take him places like that. Often leaving him alone by himself.
"You wanna go there first?" Ranpo interrupted his train of thought, pointing at the touch pool. Of course he knew what he wanted.
"It's fine- we don't have to. We can go to the new exhibit first- '' Poe stammered. He didn't want to postpone Ranpo seeing the new exhibit any further. He already annoyed him enough with the jellyfish.
He couldn't possibly bother him with his childish tendencies.
"Man! Stop being so insecure, you haven't been to the aquarium before, right? So let's enjoy everything first." The shorter man pulled him over to the touch pool, and immediately dunked his hand in to pet the starfish. "Cmon, none of them should hurt you."
Poe hesitantly stuck the hand that wasn't holding Ranpo's into the water, and went to pet a small crab. It scampered away just a bit after he removed his hand, causing Poe to let out a giggle. The fuzzy feeling in his head buzzing gently, pretty much begging him to embrace it.
He couldn't however. Seeing as he doesn't know the feeling he couldn't possibly indulge it. He couldn't let himself be consumed by a feeling he didn't understand- what if he does something dumb? What if something bad happens and he can't stop it? What if-
"Hey. I can hear you thinking from here. What's wrong?" Ranpo asked, squeezing his hand. There was clear worry etched on his features.
"I- I am not sure.." Well if Ranpo is asking, he might as well tell him what he's been feeling for the past.. who knows how long.
"I have been feeling.. something strange and I don't know what to do about it. Ignoring it isn't working and I don't-" Poe stuttered, his eyes growing watery. He couldn't cry now, in public. People will see him and then they'd judge him more then they probably already are.
"Hey, it's alright- uh- can you describe the feeling?" The detective asked gently, immediately noticing the others distress, he started to pull them away from the touch pool and towards the bathroom.
He had a feeling he already knew what Poe was talking about, but he had to ask just to be sure. He didn't want to start assuming things and possibly upset or confuse the writer more than he already is. The last thing they need right now is for him to have a panic attack. If that happened Ranpo wouldn't know what to do- he isn't very experienced with helping others through stuff like that. Most of the time he just steps back and lets other people who are more equipped help.
He's seen enough people get comforted through panic or anxiety attacks, so in theory he does have an idea of what to do. He's just never actually helped someone through it before.
So he really didn't want Poe to panic too much, not that he didn't want to help Poe, he did. He just didn't wanna risk messing up and cause the writer to panic further.
Once they made it to the bathroom Ranpo led the writer to the big stall in the back. He closed the door and locked it with his free hand, the other one still holding Poe's.
"It's hard to.. explain. It's like, fuzzy? Not like Karl's fur but like a cloud? I don't- I'm sorry.." Poe stuttered, his breathing slowly quickening as he stumbled through his explanation.
"Hey, it's fine! Don't worry about it okay? I think I know what's wrong but I need you to calm down first!" The detective pulled the writer's hand to his chest and began to take deep, slow breaths. He hoped the other would catch on and mimic him.
Poe did, and started to try and copy Ranpo's breathing. He messed up a bit, which panicked him a more, he really didn't want to trouble Ranpo with this. He should be better than this, know better. He can't believe he's taking up so much of Ranpo's time. First with the jellyfish, the touch pool, and now his panic attack. How dumb.
"It's okay to mess up. You don't have to get it perfect, you're panicking okay?? So it's okay if you don't get it right! Just- don't worry about it." Ranpo attempted to console the man, and he gently guided them both to sit on the floor.
"Don't worry about it and focus on me, okay Edgar?" The shorter murmured as he held Poe's hand to his chest and continued to take deep breaths.
Poe nodded his head and it took a bit, but he calmed down eventually. Their breathing syncs after a few minutes. The fuzzy feeling was overwhelmingly strong, which almost made him panic again but remembered Ranpo's words. He knew what was wrong, and he'd help him. He'd be fine as long as Ranpo was there.
"See! Easy, huh?" Ranpo said happily, letting go of Poe's hand and instead patting his head. He watched the others face flush slightly and let out a chuckle.
"Yes.. Thank you Ranpo…"
"Yeah, of course Ed. Do you think you could possibly go into more detail about that fuzzy feeling? I just want to make sure I'm fully correct." The detective asked, petting Poe's head gently.
"Uhm- well.. It's like I said. It feels fuzzy and soft and.. like I want to act like- almost like a child." Poe quickly said the last part, embarrassment flushing his already red cheeks a deeper red.
"I knew it! Okay, basically you're regressing."
"Huh?"
"That wasn't the best explanation- uhm so your mind is reverting back to the state of a child, or well trying to. It's a way to cope with stress, trauma, anxiety, and so on. It's a healthy coping mechanism by the way! I'm surprised you weren't aware of it." Ranpo rambled as he grabbed Poe's hand.
"Oh." Poe said as he looked at the floor. He didn't exactly know what to feel, why would he need to resort to something like that? He was a grown man- he shouldn't need to do that.
"Yeah, but like I said it's entirely harmless! It's healthy and good for you!" Ranpo reassured quickly.
"Mhm.." It was getting progressively harder to think through the thick fuzzy haze.
"Are you feeling little right now?.." Ranpo asked as he went back to petting Poe's hair, noticing how it calmed him earlier.
"What?" Poe asked, tilting his head to the side a bit.
"Right, are you feeling that fuzzy feeling right now? Like you need to be little, or a child?"
"Uhm- yea.. I am. I think." The writer mumbled, slightly embarrassed that Ranpo was able to find it out. Of course he did, he's the greatest detective in Japan.
"Do you want to regress now? Or do you think you can hold back and wait til we get to the agency- unless you want to go back to your house? Or mine?.." Ranpo questioned.
Poe felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He was stopping Ranpo from seeing the new exhibit, and he seemed so excited about it over the phone. Instead of looking, he was dealing with Poe's- whatever it was- regression? Which isn't something Ranpo should have to deal with. He should be able to handle himself, take care of himself and here he was sobbing on the floor of a bathroom stall like a child. God he felt like a child.
It was humiliating to be acting like this in front of Ranpo. He looked up to the man, admired him, and now Ranpo's on the floor of a dirty bathroom trying to console him. He couldn't believe himself, he couldn't believe he allowed himself to stoop so low.
It also made no sense- he wasn't stressed or anxious was he? And if his anxiety was the problem, that's what Karl was for. Karl was there to help him through anxious situations that could lead him to panic or get himself in a bad situation. He was there to help him. So it couldn't be his anxiety. But probably played a role in it somehow anyways.
He wasn't stressed, the whole- regressing thing is stressing him out.
He didn't have trauma. None that he could remember at least and his childhood- it wasn't traumatic. It just wasn't.
He was a lot to handle, an anxious mess of a child. So anxious and- annoying. Needy, is what his adoptive father called him once. And look at him now, being needy. Needy for Ranpo's attention, his love. It was humiliating- it was stupid and immature and Poe couldn't believe himself.
"Edgar." Ranpo's voice was firm when he said his name. It didn't sound upset, which was a good sign. But still, Poe was here, being a needy and taking all of Ranpo's time.
"Edgar, you're panicking again. I need you to breathe okay? I know it's kind of scary- but it's fine! I promise. Regressing is totally fine, it's great even! It means you're processing stuff, or trying to, in a healthy way." The detective ran his hand across Poe's forehead, pushing his bangs away from his face.
His eyes were rimmed red and puffy from crying. The look on his face made Ranpo's stomach turn. He didn't wanna see Poe with a look on his face like that again. His eyes were watery, and he looked so upset. His lip was bleeding only slightly from Poe biting it to quell the heart wrenching sobs, and his cheeks were flushed. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he kind of resembled a kicked puppy- or raccoon with the dark purple under his eyes.
Poe attempted to calm himself, taking deep breaths that mirrored Ranpo's. He reached his hand over and grabbed the front of Ranpo's shirt. Gripping it with all his might as he calmed down again.
"Good job, Ed. I'm really proud of you for calming down!" Ranpo said as he moved his hand away from his forehead, letting his bangs fall over his eyes once again. He ran his fingers through his hair, scratching at his scalp and twirling the hair on his fingers. He could guess Poe enjoyed his hair being touched and played with. He noticed it calmed him.
"I'm so sorry Ranpo.." Poe sniffled, sounding oh so heart broken and it made the detective's throat close up slightly.
"Oh Ed, it's okay. Trust me you aren't bothering me in the slightest, we can always go to the aquarium some other day. The new exhibit isn't going anywhere." Ranpo reassured as his hands ran through Poe's thick curls.
Poe really wanted to go home to Karl. He wanted to cuddle him and run his hands over his fur and feed him treats. He wants Ranpo to ask him about his new novel he was working on. He struggled to voice his thoughts though, his voice seeming to fail him.
"Can- my home? Please?" Was all he could manage out, his lip hurt. And so did his eyes from crying, it all felt like so much all at once. And coupled with all the new information he just learned, it was all very overwhelming. He really needed a nap.
"Yea, of course Ed. Let me call Fukuzawa and have him drive us back to your place, okay? Don't worry about him judging or anything either." Ranpo pulled out his phone and dialed the aforementioned man's number. It only rang twice before he picked up..
"Ranpo? What are you calling for?" Poe could hear Fukuzawa's voice because of how close Ranpo was. The older man was calm, as it always seemed to be when Poe heard him speak. Which was rare.
"Ah- Could you come to the aquarium and pick up me and Poe? And take us back to Poe's place? Please, and thank you!"
"Of course, though you've only been there for twenty five minutes at most. Did something go wrong?" Fukuzawa sounded kind of worried, but not overly so. Just in a way a father would be for their son. At least that's how it sounded to Poe.
"Nothing too extreme, just pick us up as soon as you can, okay?"
"Okay, I'll be there in at least ten minutes. I'll call when I get there. I'll see you soon Ranpo."
"Bye-bye!" Ranpo shouted before closing the phone shut, effectively ending the call. He pocketed his phone and ran his hand through his hair. Suddenly he remembered something.
"Hey, are you up for getting up Ed?"
"Maybe.."
"If not, do you think you could stay here while I quickly go get something? I promise I won't leave without you."
"Uhm, just come back soon please.."
"I will!" Ranpo said as he removed his hand from Poe's hair, his heart cracking when the other released a poorly hidden whine.
"Promise, it'll only take just five minutes and I'll be back before you know it." Ranpo quickly ran out of the stall after closing it behind him, making sure no one would come in, he put his jacket over the door. He hoped that would deter anyone from entering while he was gone.
He promised Poe he'd get him one of those jellyfish plushies the gift shop had hung up. He could guess which color Poe wanted, the blue one. Since that was the one he looked at the most while they were looking at jellyfish earlier. But it was pretty obvious he liked all of them.
Ranpo admittedly doesn't see the appeal to jellyfish, he likes dolphins more. Sure, they're monstrous demons sent straight from hell but they're cute. Sue him.
Maybe he'd get himself a dolphin plushie so they'd both have one.
As promised, it only took him a good five minutes to pick up the plushies and pay. There was no one in the aquarium at this time of day; he didn't need to worry about a line.
Once he had both of them in his hands he immediately ran back for the bathroom, silently praying no one had come in. And thankfully, no one had. He quickly opened the stall and greeted Poe, who had moved to a fetal position on the left side of the stall, with a smile. The other didn't seem upset, just nervous. But that's how Poe always was, so he didn't think too hard about it.
After closing the stall he walked the very short distance and dropped the jellyfish plush onto Poe's head.
"Look what I got ya!" Ranpo said happily as the jellyfish plopped onto Poe. He laughed softly at the yelp the other let out.
Poe lifted the soft toy off his head and looked at it. He'd never been given a gift before. Well, he has but none of them were meaningful. Always toys or things he had never asked for or wanted. He never voiced that when he got them though, he never wanted to appear as ungrateful or rude. But this, the jellyfish, a toy of all things made his chest well with emotions he couldn't describe. Emotions he's not sure he's felt before.
He hugged it close to himself and buried his face into the soft fabric. A sudden wave of something washed over him and he felt his eyes water all over again. He's never felt so loved and cared for before.
He didn't feel like crying at the moment though, he was just too tired. He felt Ranpo sit next to him and put his arm around his shoulder. It was comforting. Despite the drastic height difference between them both he buried himself into Ranpo's side. An attempt at making himself as small as possible, and succeeding slightly due to his boney stature. He couldn't wait to go home.
He really needed a nap. He silently hoped Ranpo would stay with him too, but he doubted it. Poe had already taken so much of the others' time up. He tried not to dwell on it for too long, he didn't want to spiral anymore. Not only was it exhausting for him, but probably for Ranpo as well.
So he just took in every moment of Ranpo holding him close, since he may not be there to do it later. He tried not to be too upset about that thought.
He was pulled out of his thoughts by Ranpo's phone going off, immediately removing himself from the detective's side.
Ranpo fumbled as he quickly whipped his phone out of his pocket, answering as fast as he could once he saw it was Fukuzawa.
"I'm here, just outside the front entrance. Take as long as you need." Fukuzawa was patient in the way he spoke.
"Right, it'll only be a bit. We'll see you in a second." Ranpo said hurriedly as he got up and closed his phone. He turned to look at Poe, who was clinging to his jellyfish plush and eyes were droopy and tired. He let himself smile at the sight. Poe was cute when he was sleepy.
"Cmon Ed, Fukuzawa is just outside. Do you need help getting up? I don't know if I'll be much help but I'll try." He offered gently as he held his hand out to the man on the floor. Poe just glanced at his hand before shyly reaching for it.
Once they're hands were locked together Ranpo pulled him up onto his feet. He stumbled a bit but quickly righted himself. He held onto Ranpo's hand as the other gently guided him out of the stall, squeezing it like the other would let him go. He allowed himself to be pulled softly out of the bathroom and through the lobby.
It was kind of a blur, he was focusing very intently on putting one foot in front of the other so he didn't fall. If he did he would probably start crying again, and he was just too exhausted to deal with that. He just needed to last the forty minute car ride and then he was home. He could just lay in his bed with Karl and forget the whole day even happened. Forget what Ranpo had told him.
The warmth of Ranpo's hand holding his made his stomach flutter, made him feel giddy and happy. He liked it when Ranpo touched him and played with his hair. He didn't get a lot of hugs very often, if at all. So he tried to cherish every time Ranpo gifted it to him so graciously. Even if it was nearly every time they saw each other.
He prefers physical touch and words of affirmation over everything else. But that wasn't something he'd ever admit. He's sure Ranpo already knows that anyway. He's always been like that. Knowing every little detail even if he wasn't told directly. He's not the greatest detective for no reason.
He didn't notice when Ranpo slowly led him to a car, but he did notice Ranpo guiding him to sit down. He quickly sat in the seat on the other side of the car, and felt his face heat up when he saw Fukuzawa in the front.
He should've known the other was gonna be there, Ranpo even told him. He still felt ashamed though.
"Are you both okay?" Fukuzawa asked as he turned to look at them both. Poe let out a slightly confused noise as Ranpo hopped in next to him instead of taking the free passenger seat.
"Yea, we're good. Just got bored faster than I anticipated, the new exhibit was boring! You'd expect it to be better." Ranpo whined as he dramatically threw his hands around.
That's when Poe remembered his own car in the parking lot. How stupid could he be to forget his own car? He felt a wave of panic wash over him as he sat up in the seat clutched his jellyfish tighter.
"I- I have my car- it's here. What- how will i-" Ranpo quickly interrupted him.
"I'll have someone come pick it up later. Don't worry. I have a copy of all your keys."
"You what?.." Poe asked, eyes wide as he looked at Ranpo stunned.
"What? Gotta make sure we're prepared." Ranpo replied nonchalantly, a cheeky grin on his face. "Don't worry your pretty little head, okay? I'll take care of everything. How about you try and nap on our way there, you're pretty tired."
Poe just stared at him before letting out a small sigh and slumping against the car door. He felt Ranpo move closer to him, leaning against his side. It felt nice, he really enjoyed it when people pushed against him- well people he knew. And as long as they weren't being harsh. He enjoyed the pressure, it calmed him down.
He closed his eyes and clutched the plushy closer to himself, curling up as small as he could make himself. He was too exhausted to overthink like he normally did when trying to sleep, and the fuzziness that was lingering in his mind seemed to ease any mean thoughts.
It wasn't long before he was fast asleep against the window.
Ranpo was semi worried about Poe. Which didn't happen often. His behavior and off demeanor about social interactions has always been like that, anxious. At least for as long as he's known him. And that, admittedly, wasn't them bonding happily like Ranpo would've liked.
When they first met those six years ago, he was amazed by Poe's sheer will to best him. He was also amazed at how close he came to beating him. It was incredible, and no one else has been able to get his blood pumping like Poe has. The adrenaline and euphoria he feels whenever Poe tests him with a new novel, talks to him about new ideas he has for a novel, or chats him up during cases he tags along on is amazing.
If he could devour the feelings Poe makes him feel he would. They'd be the best damn tasting feelings ever.
Poe makes him feel a lot of stuff he's never felt before. And the intense worry he was feeling right now, was something he's felt before, but that doesn't mean he didn't like it. But, unlike before, along with the worry came fear. Not as intense and overwhelming as the worry. But still very upsetting nonetheless.
He couldn't place a finger on why he was worried about Poe, he's vaguely aware from the time he's spent with Poe why he's so reserved. Anxious and terribly socially awkward. He had two ideas about why his attitude towards interacting with other people, especially people of authority, was the way it was.
Now, Ranpo didn't know much of Poe's childhood. A lot of the assumptions he's made are based on small comments the writer has made here and there, and on his own observations and studies of Poe's behavior. He's spent a long time taking mental notes on some of the other man's anxious rambles and body language towards certain situations. And with that, he also did research on why Poe has these tics and habits.
He could go on a long rant on his observations and studies of Poe, but alas he was also tired. And thinking so much was giving himself a headache. Which never happened before, only with Poe.
How come it's always Poe making him experience new things? He hoped that never stopped. He loved being amazed by Poe.
With a sigh, Ranpo squeezed Poe's hand. Whichever assumption of his was right, he was gonna be there for Poe. From his research he saw that people who suffered from any of that stuff needed comfort, so he'd do his best to offer it.
"Hm, we're almost there. Just 5 more minutes. Tell me Ranpo, did he start feeling small while you were there?" Fukuzawa questioned as gently as the man could. The older had never been good with tones, but Ranpo could tell when he was being gentle with a topic.
"Yea, I got it taken care of though, so don't worry too much." Ranpo reassured as he looked around out the window. He'd call someone to get Poe's car once they got inside, maybe Kunikida. He was the far more reliable one at the agency. No offense.
"Right, I know not to worry when it comes to you. I know you can handle yourself."
"That's good! If you didn't I'd get worried, I'm 26 now." Ranpo chirped happily as they pulled into Poe's driveway. He never got used to how big his house was. He doesn't think he ever will.
"Ah, how could I possibly forget. Make sure he gets taken care of properly. I trust that you can do it. Since you're 26 and all." Fukuzawa teased, parking the car. "Do you need help carrying him?"
"Nah, I'm gonna wake him up. I think he'd choke and die if he found out someone carried him." Ranpo said and he let go of Poe's hand.
Fukuzawa chuckled at that, he'd never get tired of Ranpo's remarks.
Ranpo let go of Poe's hand, and apologized in his head as he grabbed the sleeping man's shoulder. He began to shake him gently while murmuring a soft, "wake up Poe.." His one eye was visible from the angle he was at, his hair falling to the side revealing his soft light violet eye. He sat up slowly but surely and let out a soft confused noise.
"Hm?.. Ranpo?" His voice was slightly rougher than normal from sleep. "Are we home?"
"Yea, just outside your door. Did you sleep well?" Ranpo asked, keeping his voice light.
"It was nice, yes. Thank you.." Poe still sounded completely drained and he was kind of shaky. He sat up in his seat, fiddling with the seat belt he didn't remember putting on himself. Ranpo must've done it for him. He quickly unbuckled himself, very eager to get to Karl. He looked to Fukuzawa and felt his face flush as the older man gave him an odd look he couldn't quite place.
"Thank you as well, Fukuzawa for driving me home. I appreciate it and will make sure to make it up to you." The writer said shakily, looking away from the older man's face to instead admire his front door. He really just wanted to run away, hide in his closet and cling to Karl.
"No problem, Poe. And don't worry about repaying me, yea? Just take care of yourself." Fukuzawa said gently.
"Are you sure? It must've been a lot of trouble driving me all the way out here.." Poe's hand went to his mouth and he began to chew on his nail as well as the skin around it. He really needed to wean himself off this horrid habit.
"It was no trouble at all. Trust me."
Poe sighed heavily, his body going lax as he looked at Ranpo, who gave him the softest smile he could muster. He was so tired, the nap didn't help and he still felt off about the whole regressing thing. He really just needed to forget about it. Ignore it like he'd been doing for the past.. seven years? He didn't even know.
"Right, I must get going now. I need to tend to Karl and make sure he hasn't made a mess of my home.. I will see you later Ranpo." Poe said quickly, opening the car door and stumping out, similar to a newborn calf.
He felt humiliation crawl up his spine and wind itself around his throat. He couldn't even do basic tasks without messing up. He was beginning to regret getting out of bed this morning. He should've just stayed in bed and rot, he might do that when he gets inside. Maybe once he's asleep he can just forget this day even happened. And if Ranpo asks he can pretend that the other man is delusional. Full proof plan, Poe can be convincing when he needs to be.
"I'm gonna stay the night with you, if you don't mind!" Ranpo said as he grabbed Poe's arm to steady him. He closed the car with both Poe's and his own plushy tucked under one arm.
Poe let out a squeak at the contact but otherwise didn't say anything else. He was too busy trying not to start crying.
"Bye Fukuzawa!! See you later, yea? Don't get hurt going down the stairs while I'm gone." Ranpo shouted as he pulled himself and Poe to the front door, not giving Fukuzawa the chance to defend himself.
Ranpo didn't say anything as he let go of Poe and opened the door, he knew it would be unlocked. Poe must've forgotten.
Once the door was open he grabbed Poe's arm and pulled him inside, closing the door behind him with his foot. Gently he guided them both around Poe's, unnecessarily, large home to the living room. It was probably twice the size of Ranpo's own home he shared with Fukuzawa, they'd never had a need for a large home as it was just them, and Yosano.
He saw Karl sleeping soundly on a very fancy dog bed. He wouldn't be surprised if it was fancier than Poe's own, the other seems to value others more over himself.
He pushed Poe onto the extremely, very unnaturally large couch and gave him his Jellyfish plush he had tucked under his arm. He could see the strained look on the other's face and let out a heavy sigh. He wished he could just smother the anxiousness out of him and wring it out like a washcloth.
Not because it was a hassle to deal with, but because he wanted Poe to be happy. Which was odd, because it was often he wished happiness on other people, but with Poe it was entirely different. He wouldn't tear the world apart to try and find out what made him sad, he already knew that no one made him upset. And anyone who made him upset was long dead. It was simply his own mind that stressed him out. His own thoughts and emotions.
And even if it was a person that made him sad, it's not like he'd do much about them unless Poe directly asked him to. He'd rather focus on Poe than the one who made him sad, but it's hard because the thing that was making Poe upset was the one thing Ranpo struggled to understand. His mind.
Ranpo understood a lot of things, he was the best detective in Japan. He's solved more cases than he could count, let alone remember. But the one thing that stumped him, the one thing he couldn't wrap his head around, was Poe.
And it was only mildly frustrating.
"Poe, do you want to stay on the couch or go to your room?" He wanted to make sure the other knew he had options. But he already knew the answer to the question, it didn't hurt to make sure though.
"Room please." Poe said quickly, clutching his jellyfish plush like it'd run away. He glanced at Karl anxiously, who was sound asleep, completely blissfully unaware of Poe's current predicament.
"Right, come on then! Let's get you to your room, and then put you into some comfortable clothes. I know those can't be too comfortable." The detective took Poe's hand into his own and helped him onto his shaky feet again.
He didn't wait for a response as he walked up the large flight of stairs and to the room that just had to be Poe's. Flinging the door open he was happily surprised to see a massive looking bed. It wasn't as small or neatly made as it'd thought it'd be. It was a large bed, and it had a gorgeous bed frame. It almost resembled the ones Poe described in his novels.
He walked them over to the bed and sat Poe down. Immediately he turned away to walk over to the dresser, opening it up in search of comfortable clothes the both of them could change into. Most of them were the usual style Poe prefered, but he stumbled across two very comfy looking sweaters and extra soft looking sweatpants that had raccoons on both pairs.
Satisfied with his find he got up after closing the drawers and walked back over to Poe who was sitting in the exact same spot he was in when he left. He set the two outfits down on the bed before crouching in front of Poe, grabbing the others knees and giving him a soft smile.
"Okay, do you want me to help you change or do you think you can do it yourself?" He figured asking it like this would make himself seem more welcoming. He hoped Poe felt more comfortable with him doing this.
He didn't really know how to treat him, he knew that he probably wasn't small at the moment, but he guessed he was still feeling the need to be small. He was hoping he could slowly ease him into it. He didn't want Poe's first drop to be overwhelming.
Poe's face flushed as he thought about it, he was exhausted but not tired enough to be unable to dress himself. Though the thought of Ranpo helping him change did make his stomach hurt in a way he's not felt before. Quickly, but gently, he set his jellyfish to the side.
"Can change m'self." Poe said as he reached for the outfit he assumed was supposed to be his. Ranpo let go of the taller man's knees and stood up to give him some space. He stood up with the clothes in hand and walked to the bathroom that was connected to the room.
"Okay, well while you're changing in there I'll change out here, 'kay?" Ranpo said as he watched Poe walk to the bathroom.
"M'kay.." Poe replied softly.
He wasn't comfortable enough to change in front of Ranpo, not like this. His body wasn't the prettiest to look at, he was scrawny and you could practically count the knobs on his spine. He didn't think Ranpo would shame him for his appearance, but a part of his brain insisted he was disgusting. So he quickly closed the bathroom door and plopped the out fit onto the sink.
He pulled off his pants and swiftly replaced them with the raccoon patterned sweats that Ranpo picked out for him. He vaguely remembers seeing Ranpo with the other set. When he got them he didn't realize he had gotten a set meant for two people, but he didn't complain. They were cute and Karl seemed to like them so he kept the other set. No use in throwing out a completely good outfit.
After he got the pants on he pulled off his shirt and he pulled the matching top on. He was on the bigger side, even on him. He wouldn't be surprised if Ranpo was swamped in it.
Once he was fully dressed he grabbed the outfit he wore during the day and let his hand rest on the door knob. He didn't know if Ranpo was dressed yet and he was too scared to knock and ask. What if he walked in on Ranpo changing his clothes? He didn't want to humiliate the other like that. Not only would it be embarrassing for the detective but also for himself.
He swallowed and decided to just wait for a minute or two. Surely it wouldn't take longer than 4 minutes to change.
When he felt like he waited an efficient amount of time he slowly opened the bathroom door. Peeking from behind it anxiously only to see Ranpo sitting on the edge of the bed, very much swamped, in the pajamas he picked out for the both of them.
He noticed the other's leg going up and down, out of boredom or anxiety, he wasn't sure. He stepped out of the bathroom and made his way over to his bed, he wasn't sure what to do with himself.
"Ed! Took you long enough. I thought you got stuck in your shirt or something, jeez these clothes are massive! What was the point of getting such big clothes?" Ranpo shouted as he grabbed Poe's arm and dragged him onto the spot on the bed next to him.
"Jus' seemed comfier bigger." Poe explained as he shuffled nervously in his spot next to Ranpo. He grabbed his jellyfish plush and clung onto it, silently he wished Karl was there.
"I guess so but I'm practically drowning here! And so are you! Here, get comfortable." Ranpo got up and pushed Poe into the bed.
The other quickly righted himself at the end of the bed, propped against the pillows. Ranpo ran to the other side and got in next to him, taking the covers and throwing them over the two men. He tucked Poe in and made sure he was comfortable before grabbing him and holding him close to his chest.
Poe flushed as he was pushed half way down the bed to comfortably rest against Ranpo's chest. His face was bright red as his brain raced.
He didn't know where to put his limbs so he just sat there stiffly. The warmth of the other's body pressed against his and the sound of his heartbeat was comforting. It'd been a long while since he'd slept peacefully. Probably a month or so since he's gotten a full night's rest.
He wasn't even kept up by anything important either, just his own racing thoughts that made his shoulders shake.
But at that moment, with his body pressed against Ranpo's own, it was a little hard to over think. Letting out a small sigh Poe pushed himself further into Ranpo's chest and allowed himself to put one arm around the other. It'd been so long since he'd last hugged someone, let alone cuddled. He hadn't realized how touch starved he had been until now.
It was kind of sad, how badly he was affected by Ranpo beating him all those years ago. But it was best not to dwell on the past too much. Not when he was being smothered by Ranpo.
He felt the other gently push his hand into his hair and pet him gently. Repeating the same thing he did in the bathroom earlier, he twirled a strand of hair on his finger. With one hand in his hair the other was petting down his back, and Poe was mildly ashamed at the flinch he let out. Ranpo stopped momentarily but began again after Poe let out a muffled whine.
The last thing he remembers hearing other than Ranpo's steadily beating heart was a soft murmured, "Sleep well, Poe." Before he was out like a light.