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Chapter Text

The sound of wood colliding with wood reverberated off of the walls inside the small court room three times, each pound of the gavel more prolonged than the last. I stood in a knee length black dress next to my court-appointed lawyer. 

We had come straight from a holding unit at a juvenile detention center, awaiting my sentence from the judge. He was an old white man who made me feel incredibly nauseous. His hair was white, skin wrinkly, but most of all it was the way he spoke to me and to every other person facing charges in this room. He was clearly racist, homophobic, and sexist by his condescending demeanor and lack of tact as he spoke, completely unashamed. He, in fact, deserved to be standing where we were, not the other way around.

"I could send you to jail for what you've done, Ms. Mason, and I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. It's been a long time since I've seen a case like this from a 'young lady' like yourself."

The way he eyed me from my head all the way down to my hips as he spoke made me want to take a shower immediately. But that was a privilege I'd lost when I made the best decision of my life and ended up here.

 One of the attorney's standing next to the judge had given him my file on the case in between parties, we stood idly by as he scanned the paperwork. A disappointed expression flashing across his ugly face and I still had yet to feel any guilt for the contents in that short file.

"But there is another choice; Camp Green Lake. They help troubled youth, boys and a few girls like yourself, build character. It's Camp Green Lake, or jail?"

I looked back at the empty pews behind me, where my family should have been sitting front and center, but the only faces I met were the ones of strangers. I didn't want to interact with more people if I didn't have to, they could probably get me out for "good behavior" at jail earlier than this stupid camp.

"Jail," I answered with confidence. It took me a moment to find that voice through my rapid and thunderous heartbeat, knowing I had no control over the next however many years of my life.

"Three years at Camp Green Lake it is," he pounded the gavel once again with high brows and a smile that made me want to punch him across the courtroom. 

"Your honor, she said jail. Ms. Mason has a choice in where she goes," my lawyer demanded with an irritated expression on her beautiful, heart-shaped face, "With all due respect, this is not a game in which you choose the course of a persons life. This is her life. She makes the choice that you give to her."

"I don't much care for your tone, Ms. Albarez," the judge snapped back at the woman next to me, "The case is dismissed."

I gasped, looking up at my lawyer who put a comforting arm around me as we walked out of the courtroom. She tried her best to calm me before a panic attack took hold, leaving me breathless and clutching my chest.

I didn't understand how he was able to do something like this with no penalties and under court record.

"Ryder, I am going to fight this, okay?" she soothed, her voice was one that could lull a child to sleep within seconds, "I'm going to get you out, do you hear me?"

All I could do was nod my head and trust that she would be the one person I could look up to, the person that could do right by me.

Chapter Text

     The handcuffs were uncomfortably tight on my wrists as I rode in the middle of the school bus that was driving through the Texas desert. With every bump the tires met, the cuffs wrenched further from the seat that I was cuffed to and pushed more into my skin, the pain was obvious but manageable considering I'd been through worse.

     I looked at the officer sitting near the door and found my line of vision being pulled out the window to something strange. There was an African American young man standing beside a mule that was latched to a wooden carriage, he was dressed in very old clothing and as we drove passed, the mule and the man disappeared along with their belongings. I felt so confused but tried to ignore it as we neared what looked like the camp.

     I saw teenagers in orange jumpsuits digging through the dirt and was surprised to see only a few girls, I knew dealing with the boys wasn't going to be easy, especially knowing why they were there.

     The bus drove in the center of three buildings that were surrounded by tents. The officer sitting near the door instructed me to stand. He unlocked the handcuffs and told me to leave the bus, I did as he said quietly and without protest.

      I rubbed my wrists and waited as the pain began to subside, there were obvious red marks but I knew they wouldn't last more than a couple days.

     There was obviously no lake anywhere near this place, it was uncomfortably hot but I didn't really mind it, I always tended to be cold.

     I heard the boys around me yelling things such as "Fresh meat!" and instantly my skin began to crawl.

     The officer led me to the building on the right and into a room, a man wearing a cowboy hat with ginger sideburns sat behind a desk shoving sunflower seeds into his mouth and stared at me with an agitated expression.

     "Ryder Mason, is it?" I nodded to answer which seemed to agitate him even more, he spoke with sunflower seeds sticking to his front teeth, "Speak up, ingrate."

     "Yes, that's my name," I watched as he shook his head and studied the paperwork in front of him.

     "My name is Mr. Sir, you will call me by my name at all times, no exceptions," my eyebrows lifted in puzzlement, most people would have laughed but I knew it would just piss him off, "Something funny to you?"

     "No, Mr. Sir," I answered as he stood and turned to a refrigerator that sat behind his chair.

     "Damn right, this ain't no Girl Scout Camp, alright?" he opened the refrigerator door and took an unopened coke bottle in his hands, he turned back to me and held it up, "You thirsty, Mason?"

     "Yes, Mr. Sir," I replied but didn't reach for the drink, I knew he was handing the coke to the officer who lingered behind me, he just wanted to see how I would react. The officer murmured a small thank you before Mr. Sir spoke again.

     "Well get used to it, you're gonna be thirsty for the next two years," he sort of smiled as he spoke. My throat already felt dry, I couldn't imagine how things would be tomorrow.

     Mr. Sir stood making me follow behind him as he walked back outside, there were more boys out now and they were staring at me.

     "What do you see out here, Mason? Any guard towers, how about an electric fence?" he motioned to the horizon, there was none to be found.

     "No, Mr. Sir," I looked back at him, feeling a bit small.

     "You wanna run away? Go on, run, I'm not gonna stop you," he turned and for a millisecond I considered it but heard him yell something at the other boys.

     I noticed a gun resting on his hip and he seemed to notice because he pulled it out, "This here is for yellow spotted lizards. I'm not gonna waste a single bullet on you."

     "I'm not running away," I replied blankly making full eye contact with him, I wasn't afraid, I was hardly afraid of anything.

     "Good thinking, Mason, don't nobody run away. You wanna know why?" He asked but thankfully didn't wait for my answer, "We got the only water for one hundred miles, it's like our own little oasis."

     We started walking to the building opposite from Mr. Sir's office as he spoke, "You wanna run away, them buzzards'll pick you clean by the end of the third day."

     We entered a room filled with orange jumpsuits hung everywhere and combat boots, a boy a few years older then me greeted Mr. Sir and looked me up and down, I didn't really understand why considering none of my skin was really showing.

     Mr. Sir grabbed a pair of combat boots and threw them on the floor in front of me even though I was already wearing some. He picked up two folded jumpsuits and tossed them at me, "You get two sets of clothes, one for work and one for relaxation. After three days, your work clothes will be washed, your second set becomes your work clothes. You change when you get to your tent, is that clear?"

     "Yes, Mr. Sir," the boy was still staring at me as he handed Mr. Sir a shovel, I'm not even pretty and it was making me uncomfortable.

     "You are to dig one hole each day, your shovel is your measuring stick," he handed the shovel back to the boy, "The longer it takes you to dig, the longer you'll be out in the hot sun. Look out for rattlesnakes and yellow spotted lizards, you don't bother them, they won't bother you. Most of the time," he paused to see if I was listening making me nod for him to go on, "Being bit by a rattler ain't the worst thing that can happen to you, you won't die, usually. But you don't want to get bit by a yellow-spotted lizard. That is the worst thing that can happen to you, you will die a slow and painful death...always."

     I contemplated going out to find one and making it bite me, but something was holding me here.

     "You keep your clothes aside from the ones with metal attached to them," he took my bag from the officer who had followed us, they wouldn't let me handle my stuff, "But you do not get to keep anything else, no phone, no iPod, no nothing, you hear me? If we find anything of that nature there will be some serious consequences."

     "Yes, Mr. Sir," I wondered what they would do that could be worse than this.

     A small man with a sun hat walked in asking if my name was Ryder Mason to which I nodded, "I just want you to know that you may have done some bad things, but that does not make you a bad kid. I respect you, Ryder," I could see through his bullshit, he didn't respect me at all.

     "Welcome to Camp Green Lake, I'm Dr. Pendanski, your counselor," he introduced himself and nodded.

     Mr. Sir scoffed at him and started walked out of the building as he said, "Give her some towels, tokens, set her up."

     He handed me a tooth brush and the different necessities of normal everyday life then we left the building.

     "You'll be in 'D' tent where 'D' stands for 'diligence.' That's the mess hall," he pointed to the other side of the building that was attached to Mr. Sir's office, then he pointed at the building across from it, it was the other side of the building that we were now retreating from, "There's the rec room."

     We were walking towards the tents that sat next to a nice cabin, a car that sat next to it was being washed by one of the boys, Dr. Pendanski saw me looking and explained with a sort of snappy tone, "That's the warden's cabin, that's where all the girls shower for obvious reasons, our main rule here is not to upset the warden so watch your mouth. Don't even think about messing around with the boys here, we will punish you severely."

     "Hey, mom, who's this?" I turned to see three teenagers walking up to us, the one who asked was African American and had foggy thick glasses, the two beside him were both white and the one in the middle held a toothpick between his teeth and the other had a hat on, they were all dirty.

     "This is Ryder, she's going to be staying in your tent. Ryder, this is Lewis, Alan, and Rex," he pointed at each of them, starting with the guy in the hat whose name was Lewis, to the guy in the middle who was Alan and then to Rex who wore the glasses.

     "Naw, my name is X-ray, and this is Squid and Barfbag," Rex rolled his eyes at the doctor.

     "They all have their nicknames but I prefer to call them by their actual names," the three teenagers rolled their eyes when Dr. Pendanski continued, "Lets show Ryder to her cot."

     We walked toward the tents and into the one with a 'D' etched on it with permanent marker, there was only one person in there and he laid across his cot quietly.

     I turned to look back at Alan (Squid) who pointed at the cot in the back of the tent, he spoke with a major southern accent, "That's yours over there."

     I nodded at him and received a nod in return, it seemed to be a sign of respect.

     "Welcome home, Ryder," Dr. Pendanski exclaimed.

     I walked to my cot and set all my things down as the boys made conversation, the cot wasn't very thick and I knew it wasn't going to be very comfortable to sleep on, if I slept at all.

     I felt a small tap on my shoulder and turned around to see a skinny Hispanic boy around my age, "I'm Magnet," he looked over his shoulder and a boy with fluffy blonde hair and blue eyes walked closer to us, as he got closer chills ran down my back, he just stared at me beside Magnet, "This is Zigzag."

Chapter Text

     "This is Zero, say hello to Ryder, Zero," Dr. Pendanski fluffed Zero's afro, "You wanna know why they call him Zero?"

     I gave him a confused expression, "Because there's nothing going on in his stupid little head," my face soured, I hated seeing someone so harmless be insulted for no reason.

     Zero turned over on his cot, away from everyone else, as Pendanski turned to Armpit and Zigzag. Zero sort of reminded me of myself, I hardly spoke, but I decided to talk to him anyway as I put my stuff down beside my bed, "Don't listen to him, just because you don't like to talk, doesn't mean you aren't smart."

     "Hush, Zigzag, we don't want to scare her," I heard Pendanski snap at Zigzag, I was confused at the fact that Pendanski called him by his nickname.

     "She should know," he said with a firm voice that stopped me from moving, Pendanksi immediately dropped it, I think Zigzag's tone intimidated him. It seemed a bit strange.

     They boys went and showered as I filled my canteen and laid down on my cot, it was squeaky and lumpy, but it was something and that's all that matters.

     "Hey, come eat with us at the mess hall," Barfbag's voice approached from outside the tent, "Don't worry, you'll be fine."

     I followed Magnet to the mess hall and stood behind him as he went down the line, almost everything they had was made of beans with the exception of bread. The sight of the food was horrific, but the smell wasn't as bad.

     Magnet and I walked up to the table that the other boys were sitting at, "Ryder, come here. This is where you sit, "Zigzag got up from his seat and moved so that there was room for me to sit next to him. His hair and shirt were wet, making me want to turn away, he was attractive and I knew that wasn't good.

     X-Ray stole the bread off of my tray before I could say anything, but Zigzag nudged him in disapproval, X ate the bread anyway.

     "What did they get you for?" Squid asked me while eating a spoon full of re-fried beans, I didn't say anything. I hated being rude, but I couldn't talk about it.

     "Another quiet one, huh?" Magnet commented, referring to Zero.

     "How long are you hear for?" Zigzag wondered, slowly picking apart his bread, he stared intently at me.

     "Three years," as soon as I said it all of the boys were exasperated.

     "It must've been bad, shit, dude," Magnet exclaimed.

     It was...

     I lied awake on my cot all night, I couldn't sleep and I hated staying awake almost as much because of my nerves. I knew it would be bad digging holes all day in the sun, but at least I was on most of the guys' good sides.

     I heard the horn go off and sat up immediately, I put on the orange jumpsuit as the others did and walked outside, it was still dark out.

     "Smiling faces, smiling faces," Dr. Pendanski yelled pleasantly, making half of us want to shut him up. I hated being violent, but in the morning I liked to be left alone.

     "Shovels on your left, in the Library, and tortillas on your right," Mr. Sir stood next to a wooden shed with the word 'Library' carved into it, "Your hole has to be five feet deep, five feet in diameter. Your shovel is your measuring stick."

     I picked up a shovel and a tortilla and stood next to Zigzag, I could feel him looking at me as we walked out into the hot desert.

     "Now, if you find anything interesting, you are to report it to me or Pendanski. If the warden likes what you find, you get the rest of the day off," Mr. Sir informed me.

     "What am I supposed to be looking for?" I asked.

     "You're not looking for anything. You're building character. You take a bad person, make them dig holes all day, and it turns them into a good person. That's our philosophy here at Camp Green Lake. Start digging."

     Digging was difficult, I could feel the blisters and bruises forming on my hands, my joints were aching from the unfamiliar movements.

     X-ray kept getting dirt in my hole and I never said a word, I didn't understand why such a thing as respect wasn't present.

     I lifted up my torso and looked at Zigzag as he took a drink out of his canteen, dirt flew into my hole again and as Zigzag was about to say something, Magnet stopped him, "Calm down, he'll get over it, Zig. Whats got you so mad?"

     Mr. Sir's truck came across the horizon and drove toward us, Zigzag helped me out of the hole and said, "He's here to fill our canteens, how are your hands?"

     I lifted them and they revealed bruised, beat, and bloody palms, "The first one's the hardest, it'll get much easier."

     "So how did your first day go, Mason? Got some blisters on you?" Mr. Sir asked me as he filled X-ray's canteen.

     "Big blisters, man," Barfbag noted while looking at my hands.

     "Well, don't worry, everything turns to callus eventually. That's life," Mr. Sir mumbled as he finished Theodore's canteen, "Next."

     As soon as all of our canteens were filled, we started digging again. Zero finished first which surprised me, and after a while one by one each of them picked up their canteens and their shovels, jumped out of their holes, and walked back to camp.

     Zigzag was the last one other than me and when he stood up to leave he turned to me, "I'll wait if you want me to."

     "It's okay," I insisted but he walked over to me and sat down at the edge of my hole anyway.

     "It's best not to finish the first hole alone," he said as I proceeded digging.

     I couldn't bring myself to say anything, I wanted to thank him for his obvious protest against hazing me like X-ray and staying with me, but the words wouldn't come out. He waited patiently for me to finish and when I did, he walked back with me in a comfortable silence. Why was he here?