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“{OVER HERE! NOW!}”
The rancorous, rotten voice ricocheted off of the mindless, empty walls, spraying horror from within its bounds.
A series of sharp thuds splattered across the the matted, carpet floor; feet switching between hasty and subtle as they explored the confines of the building.
A scrawny, purple-hued body reached the dark orb protruding from the oak door; a bluer, more muscular and heightened body stood guard.
“(…)” Heart forced the door open, silence responding as he carefully watched it slip open, and a frenetic hand signalled to exit.
Clicking, whirring, all alike made a jittery escape, soon accompanied by dull, uneasy, light steps.
“{ARE YOU TWO LEAVING?!}” The voice shot from above the stairs, booming like violent thunder.
A blanketing haze expanded in the two’s heads; condensating the walls of their thoughts with a thin, but poisonous layer of fear.
The familiar, pounding, churning stew of tightness and nausea swallowed the pits of their stomachs.
Heart sighed. Mind stared.
The door clicked shut.
♡♡♡♡
Just another day.
The thought rejuvenated the wakes of reality that stressed the edges of his thinking.
Heart’s nose pointed at the digital box, displaying a buzz that hummed through the silence.
Any moment now .
It faintly rattled in a robotic hum, well-aged but still bold enough to keep functioning.
From his knowledge of intelligent machinery, he could only assume electronics would sustain the darkest injuries and longest nights to wear their will dry, and yet ceaselessly proceed, not out of courage, but from pure, unbridled stubbornness.
The occasional creak clicked from the corners of each wall; he’d attempted to scrape an image in his head of what remnants of colour he'd remembered it presenting.
A dull grey; medium, with hints of eigengrau dragging itself in strokes across the unlit portions.
Poorly-lit, a desk with meaningless clumps of paper and poor quality doodling utensils shoved into unkempt areas.
A closet packed with flimsy racks that violently rattle with each touch; countless worn sets of pyjamas clung to dying wiring, here and there a hoodie or trackpants. Lumps of clothes shrouded in dust wrapped around the floor; unloved and forgotten.
Maybe something of note was beyond the obvious lack of usage in the room; if there was, his eyes (or, lack thereof) wouldn’t have been there to inform him, but rather the collision of hoof into firm object.
It was then the door trickled open.
“{Good morning,}” Soul spoke, his voice rolling with drowsiness. He’d complained much about his desire for Mind to control the waking, but Mind required more rest, and even then he'd complain about not being the one to cook. “{We’re eating breakfast now.}”
A silent, sharp exhale of illusionary air was his only response.
Narrow fingers touched the sides of the cot, the force of his palms permitting him to breach the savoury comfort of hot blankets.
Descending the stairs, cautiously, and taking in the ubiquitous odour of Soul’s lack of hygiene, tough socks pressed against each wooden step.
As he neared the dining room, he caught the slightly better scent of undercooked pancakes.
It was always pancakes.
His form was seated, orchid-coloured wings planting themselves beside the rim.
Hand navigating the table for a fork, his fingers explored position before settling on the handle, then sifting through what felt more like clumps of heated batter than actual food.
But hey, who was he to know?
Heart had barely known any other life.
“{So…}” The voice, more prideful than dull, rose from its lips. “{What did you two dream about?}”
Oh, I forgot already…
“[Well, it appears one of us one thinking about a lion, because that was what was pursuing us.]” Mind stated, accompanied by residual static that crinkled and growled beside his words.
“{Ah, it was probably Heart.}” Why me? “{He was telling me all about them when he found out about them.}”
That's true… I was pretty surprised when I heard there was a cat so big, that it could eat people.
“[What a nightmare…]” Mind sighed.
“{That… Is what they call them.}"
A beautiful silence wafted through the air.
Almost as pungent of the scent of burnt flour, sugar, and water.
Nherm-nherm-nerhm-nherm…
The ghostly, hum-like vocalisation tunnelled from his nose.
“{Heart… Why are you making that noise?}” Soul said, a subtle note of curiosity in the sentence.
“(Um… well…)” Heart shuffled for words. “(I was just thinking about something that's been on my mind.)”
“[Lions, I assume?]”
“(Oh, for crying out loud, can it.)” Heart tapped his temples. “(I’ve been thinking about… us . As in… what we are.)”
“{Oh, Heart…}” Scrapes of metal on glass shrieked with Soul’s fork. “{You don't need to worry about it. It doesn't matter what you are, you're a person enough to me.}”
Heart could hear the faint, pulsing buzzes of Mind’s speaker. It wasn't easy to notice, but it was present.
“(…Mind?)”
“[What.]”
“(Are you also thinking about it?)”
A flustered silence.
“[What makes you assume that?]” He demanded, his fingers crinkling into what he could assume was a fist.
“(You're buzzing.)” A triumphant smirk.
“[…I’m only thinking about it because you brought it up. ]
“{You two, please…}” Soul whined. “{It’s so early, I haven't even had my first can.}”
Heart could assume based on the sound of flimsy sound of a can sloshing with liquid meant that Mind had such comment prepared.
“{Ah, thank you!}” Click! “{Well now I don't care whatever you two talk about or do. Go argue, I don't really care.}”
Soft footsteps dented the ground as they gradually grew distant.
“[…What do you think we are, Heart?]” Mind asked, sounding like a sick puppy with its tail between its legs after a bath on the Fourth of July.
“(Oh, finally you asked me.)” Heart smiled. “(I’ve had many theories as to what an ‘id’ even is! Are we angels? Are we demons? Perhaps some kind of subconscious desire, taken form?)”
“[That… All sounds ridiculous.]”
“(You’re no fun,)” The id scoffed. “(I just think it cannot be a coincidence that I look so much like the modern depiction of an angel, I remember… I remember when I had eyes, I would spend hours, real life hours, just scrolling through images on the internet, just trying to figure out if I was anything like them.)”
“[Heart… I thought we both agreed there is no God, and that Soul and his family are just lunatics.]”
“(I know… and I know I sound crazy, too, but I feel like I’m linked to them somehow. Like, I don't know how or why, I just feel like maybe those angels that the world keeps obsessing over might’ve been my own species. It's crazy, I know, but it's eating away at me!)”
“[So… if we’re opposites, and you are an angel… are you telling me I am a demon?]”
“(Mind, that is a brand new sentence that has nothing to do with what I said.)”
“[I’m just poking holes in what you're saying. We're probably just a subspecies of those Tread on Glass Composed of Sand and Sovereignty.]”
“(I’m mad at you for even suggesting we are anything like them.)”
“[I’m just being rational! You know that's what my purpose is.]”
“(And maybe my purpose is to irrational ! To come to odd, incorrect conclusions as my mind falls to a frenetic tailspin!)”
Sigh. “[I’m going to my room. I'm sure you'll be over this within the next hour.]”
“(You always say that! You always assume I have no attention span or individuality!)”
The next hour, Heart had been iron-focused on attempting to listen to a Netflix show that was not about humans.
“(This is ridiculous! Is there a single show that doesn't have those two-legged FREAKS smeared all over it?!)”
“[HEAAAAAAART!]”
“(WHAT DO YOU WANT?!)”
“[I’M JUST MAKING SURE YOU’RE NOT HAVING A PANIC ATTACK AGAIN!]”
“(WHY IN THE SEVEN SEAS DO YOU THINK I WOULD BE HAVING A PANIC ATTACK?!)”
“[BECAUSE YOU HAD ONE LAST NIGHT AND I COULDN’T SLEEP OVER IT!]”
“{OH MY GOD, WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?!}”
“(Sorry.)”
“[Sorry.]”
Stupid Mind… Always assuming I’m meek and pathetic… Heart snarled, switching between various sections of the telly with a remote.
He hadn't even been fully sure if he was still on Netflix.
Why does he always assume the least of me? “Panic attacks”? I–… I don't even know what that is!
Heart launched the remote from his fingertips, a simple smack! as it formed collision with some wooden object.
Heart clutched a mint-green draconic doll, its fur long worn with old age. It fumbled and turned in his arms as he adjusted it.
“(Screaming in my sleep… Tossing and turning when we cuddle…)” Heart mumbled, reminiscent of a low, jittery growl. “(Rather hilarious, considering Mind is the one I hear shouting in terror when almost anything goes slightly awry.)”
A small breath slipped from his lips.
He pushed his body up the stairs with a peeved look spread across his face.
A sound of distaste traced his tongue, and he marched towards the texture of a neat frame, well-cared for door.
A thunderous slam pierced the air, and Heart trailed closely behind.
“[…]”
“(…)”
“[Get out.]”
“(Tell me where you are first.)”
“[I– No, I’m not falling for that again.]”
“(TOO LATE!)” His hooves left the ground as he assumed a strong bound forwards. “(YOUR VOICE GAVE AWAY YOUR POSITION!)”
A robotic shout followed by several rakes of mechanical screams; the hard sound of tumbling machinery crashed into the floor.
Violet teeth clamped onto Mind’s shoulder, whom replied by utilising his superior strength to roll on top of him.
Heart made several firm wriggles, his hands pinned by the other’s.
The id then shoved his hoof into– whom, boasted the perfect height difference to do so– Mind’s gut, responding by turning positions as he was fought into the ground.
Heart’s hands triumphantly stood him atop of his sternum, a frivolous look of elation across his face.
“[That’s no fair… You have to tell me before you decide to…]” Mind groaned.
Heart propped himself up briefly, only to jump atop him even firmer than previously. Mind took the hint, and attempted to wrestle him down.
“{HEY!}”
Heart, mid-bite, and Mind, mid-shove, shot their gaze to the door.
“{DO YOU TWO EVER STOP ACTING THIS WAY?!}”
Mind’s arms slumped in shame.
Heart appeared nervous; then melting to brave.
“(We aren't doing anything … This isn't even what it looks like when we’re fighting!)”
“{STOP!}” Soul snapped. “{JUST… Please. Please , I beg of you, I can't.}”
“(Soul, our only crime right now is being a volume notch too loud. Calm. Down.)” Heart positioned himself to be more formal.
“{No, this isn't– What are you two saying– I can't–}” Soul’s palm met his face as he grimaced tightly.
“[…Rivers encased in glow, a tired camel drinks beneath the volcano above the moon.]” Mind spoke to Heart. “[I think he's disoriented, he’s probably crashing from the adderall.]”
“(…)” Heart watched him with the sense of a rabbit's ear. “(Are you alright? Do you need water?)”
“{I’m–}” Sneer. “{I’m FINE !}”
Heart could feel the twisted of a recoiling body in his grip, prompting him to defensively pose himself in front of him.
“(Please, calm down. We don't need to fight, everything’s calm right now.)”
“{H– h – HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT?!}” His words seethed like a lightning strike.
“(Have you been taking the attention pills again?)”
“{Yes, why does it matter?}”
“(Soul…)” Heart composed the shape of an empty smile. “(You know you can't take those, they don't work right for you.)”
“{…}”
“(You only get angrier and angrier afterwards. Let’s just… talk.)” What Heart did best.
“{ F … Fine.}”
Mind sifted himself to behind Heart, a tight but timorous connection from his fingers to Heart’s arm.
“(You've been sleeping well lately, hm?)”
“{…Better than usual, as of late.}”
“(That’s good. Your outbursts haven't been as frequent, I've noticed.)”
“{…}”
“(That… was meant to be good. That is a good thing.)”
“{Thank you, I… I don't know.}” Heart snatched the faintest perception of him forming a crooked lean on the doorframe.
“(That’s okay…)” A warm voice proceeded.
It was like reasoning with a hyena.
“(We’re here for you, no matter what…)” A voice of benevolence; tied to a mount of atrabilious hatred. “(We want you to feel better. We… We are your Heart and Mind, remember.)”
“{…And what about what you were saying, earlier?}”
There’s a lot of things I could've said. At any time, even earlier.
“(I’m… not certain what you mean.)”
“{Oh, don't play that with me. You think you're an angel. You think you're some sort of– sort of– sort of angel .}” The soft words were dropped; his tongue danced harshly with each syllable.
“(I… I wasn't, it was just…)” Heart shrunk. “(I was just trying to make sense of myself… don't you…)”
Shh-shing!
Heart recognised that sound anywhere.
Clusters of adrenaline burned through his body, he felt nails shove themselves into his arm.
“{I don't want to do this Heart, but if you're some kind of angel …}”
“(Why are you doing this? You were perfectly normal this morning, so why? What changed?”
“{So you’re not going to be nice anymore? That's fine.}” Poison tangled his tone. “{I don't know if I'm just paranoid, or I’m having some episode, or I'm just really angry. I'm sorry, but you need to let me do this. It's just how I let out my anger, and you want to protect me, yes?}”
“(This isn't what I meant, you’re not helping by hurting–)”
“[Heart, let's go, come–]”
A thick shoe snapped onto the floor. “{Heart, how could you say that when you know how much angels hurt me to think of?}”
“(Soul, you're misinterpreting–)”
“[ Heart . I don't care if he's paranoid, or depressed, or needs help or what. We need . To go .]”
“{You two never cared, did you? You two must hate me.}” The room reeked with severe body odour; beginning to also grow stale with heat. “{All you two ever do is turn me away, and lie to me. I have emotions, you know! Do you two ever care for anyone except yourselves?}”
“(Okay, let's go.)”
“[He’s going to hurt us.]”
A chorus of steps, half light and clicky, the other strong and thunderous, hastily descended from the stairs.
Servos and clicks whirled around Heart’s hand, a tight embrace into his palm. It was a show of protection they’d known since they had begun existing.
“{OVER HERE! NOW!}”
The rancorous, rotten voice ricocheted off of the mindless, empty walls, spraying horror from within its bounds.
A series of sharp thuds splattered across the the matted, carpet floor; feet switching between hasty and subtle as they explored the confines of the building.
A scrawny, purple-hued body reached the dark orb protruding from the oak door; a bluer, more muscular and heightened body stood guard.
“(…)” Heart forced the door open, silence responding as he carefully watched it slip open, and a frenetic hand signalled to exit.
Clicking, whirring, all alike made a jittery escape, soon accompanied by dull, uneasy, light steps.
“{ARE YOU TWO LEAVING?!}” The voice shot from above the stairs, booming like violent thunder.
A blanketing haze expanded in the two’s heads; condensating the walls of their thoughts with a thin, but poisonous layer of fear.
The familiar, pounding, churning stew of tightness and nausea swallowed the pits of their stomachs.
Heart sighed. Mind stared.
The door clicked shut.
♛♛♛♛
Black turned to grey, to white, as it slid across the ground.
A monochromatic gradient; pulsing like a heartbeat, larger than a king.
Hoof and metal trod through the long world beyond them.
Both had understand how unimaginably tiny it was; but it was unspeakably vast to the two souls, whom had hardly perceived a fraction of their initial residence, no-less Earth.
The soft patting of the ground crunched into small holes, a snake of two sets of tracks, fading as they proceeded.
A vague scent drifted through the air around them; almost clean, akin to that of an air conditioner, or ozone.
Occasional memories blossomed stiffly as they walked; shadows of trees and benches, misty silhouettes of humans and animals.
It almost appeared at times that the scenery itself had begun to alter; fitting captured visions from the past, from Whole’s lost images of his mind.
A snow-coloured eye took a glance at every tiny detail bitten into the landscape; watching each rising and falling clump of dormant neurons form a new sight to see.
“[…HEART!]” Mind’s fingers swiftly wrapped around the ring around Heart’s torso, snatching him backwards. “[Heart, don't walk there!]”
“(Huh? What did I almost walk into…?)” Heart said, a slight quake to their tone as anxiety enveloped their sense of ‘what if?’
Sigh. “[You almost walked into a river.]”
“(Ah, not again…)” Heart hummed. “(I’m sorry.)”
“[Don’t be sorry,]” Mind stated, his hand on Heart’s shoulder. “[Now is not the time for apologies, kid. Now is the time to keep our guard up and protect ourselves.]”
A tone of lavender heated on Heart’s cheeks, simply from the humiliation of being called a ‘kid’. Mind knew how it somewhat embarrassed him, but as his brother it was his sworn duty to inflict the such onto him.
The faint swirl of echoing rain drifted throughout their walk.
Soul must be upset.
And when Soul’s upset, that only means a lightning storm.
The paracosm would ceaselessly reflect and contort to match the mind of the Host.
“[He’s going to be here in time, I think we need to enter the Church.]” Mind sighed.
“(Are you sure that's a good idea?)”
“[He won't go in there. He’s scared of it. It’s our best bet, he might move on if we wait inside.]”
“(Mmm… Okay. But only because I know I couldn't come up with a better idea.)”
The two walked under sharp droplets of rain until they had arrived at their last hope.
A mirror-coloured building, muted lavender accents; warping in and out as the Whole’s mind attempts to erase it from its memory.
“(…Well, idea-makers first.)” Heart smiled, presenting his arms to offer him a chance inside.
“[And you say you are the brave one…]” Mind spoke, rolling his eyes and he disappeared into the door, Heart close behind.
A horrific cacophony slammed each section of the building; stopping and starting howls of choir and poorly played piano and organs.
Words spun through the interior, transitioning unsmoothly from whisper to shout as it announced biblical verses.
Heart manifested an unsure look, and Mind responded by tucking the id’s hand into his own.
“[We can do this.]” Mind affirmed.
Heart nodded.
The two slipped down the burgundy carpet, ceasing at a well-constructed bench and curling into their knees underneath.
Arms climbed the other as they rested their form onto warm and trembling bodies.
“(I guess we just wait now…)” Heart said, a shudder of horror breathing with him.
“[…Would you like me to tell you a story?]” Mind suggested.
“(Yeah, I’d… I’d like that.)” Nothing calmed an id better than someone's voice.
“[Okay… … …Okay. Uh, one time… Back then, way back then.]” As it always started. “[There were these tall deer. Their legs were so long that they had towered above the trees.]”
Heart melted into his arms, his cheek sinking into Mind’s muscular sternum.
“[This had led many men of a nearby town to think they were some kind of moving trees… and obviously, this would lead to them attempting to cut down the deer’s legs.]” Mind paused. “[The deer were unfazed. Their legs were obviously much too strong to be destroyed, so they hadn't been bothered much.]”
“[But this had come to a fault once they had a newborn of this… tree-deer species. Its legs were too wobbly, and…]” Shouting enlarged. “[The poor thing had each of its legs removed, and then it was stripped of its bone and muscle.]”
“[Once the town had realised their mistake, they had thought heavily on what they had done. But their sorrows meant nothing to the deer’s family, the deer’s family had come to the own and destroyed everything. They were no match.]”
“[The survivors had devoted the rest of their lives and generations into worshipping the deer, forever.]” Mind concluded. “[…The end.]”
“(That was morbid.)” Heart chuckled. “(You always tell the most morbid stories.)”
“[I guess I do.]” Mind shrugged.
“(My turn?)”
“[Yeah.]”
“(Okay, I’ve had one prepared.)” Deep breath. “(Once upon a time, there was a pharmacy. They made medicine that could cure any disease.)”
“(One day, they had run into a patient, a ‘patient zero’ specifically. He had been struck horribly ill with a disease they had never heard of before.)”
“('That's no problem!’ They thought. ‘We can just cure the disease!’ But guess what happened.)”
“[They couldn't cure the disease?]”
“(Mm-mm, no they could not.)” Heart laughed. “(And boy, they were terrified. They did everything in their power to cure this man, what if it were to spread? Under lock and key, everything went. What could possibly happen if this got out to everyone?)”
“[Mm. Diseases can spread fast, depending on how someone can contract them.]” He chuckled.
“(Mhm. This tortured soul was isolated from all his friends and family, and eventually, he died. And when they went to do an autopsy, guess what? He didn't have anything– he was simply depressed.)”
“[Wow. That certainly is horrible.]”
“(Thank you!)”
“[My turn?]”
“(Yup.)” Heart confirmed, after some brief laughter.
“[……Okay. So, long time ago, there was a wildfire in some person’s closet. He had not been able to stop it, nor slow it whatsoever. It had consumed his whole house.]
“[He had developed a huge fear of fire. He wanted nothing to do with it. He flooded his fireplace, he removed each and every piece of material that could have possibly started another fire. Isn't that hilarious?]”
Heart cackled. “(So much so…)”
“[Mm, and then the fire had started again. But before it could burn his house away, he pleaded with it. He begged it to leave him alone, to spare his life. And the fire told him yes; under one condition.]”
“(What was the condition?)” Heart snickered.
“[That he give it his most prized possession. And then, he gave it his mother’s necklace from his childhood.]” Mind couldn't contain his chuckling, and Heart joined him.
Steps began to lead their way towards the front of the building.
“(Okay, I have one for you. And it's really funny.)”
“[I’m listening.]”
“(Okay, so–)” Heart paused to giggle briefly. “(Once upon a time, this man had just come home from war . He was miserable, roughed up, didn't want to be around anymore.)”
Mind erupted into cackling.
“(And one day, he had enough. So he tied two boulders to his feet, and threw himself into the ocean. And the people who made him do it? Nothing bad ever happened to them!)” Heart wailed with his cackles, Mind following close in-pursuit.
The music had not seized.
Noise burst across every corner of the room.
The door shook.
"(Mister Mind?)"
"[I told you to stop calling me that…]"
"(Well…)" Heart produced a throaty chuckle. "(Would just 'Apollo' work, then?)"
"[Mm… I'll allow it.]" The corner of his lips lifted slightly, crinkling into a quiet smile.
"(What do you think happens… when we die?)" Heart laughed, it was so funny. Every word that leaped from his tongue, every syllable that squeezed through his teeth. It was hilarious. "(I mean, why would we go to the same place humans go? Soul said animals don't go to Heaven, only humans do… So where would we go?)"
Bottled laughter sifted through Mind's speaker; a glob of static and crackles shrivelling with wind blowing from his nose in sync.
"[I think… we go nowhere. I think everybody goes nowhere. I don't think it's just animals and us… I think when we all die, we’re just dead. It's like the gap in your memory between sleep and waking, but it never stops.]"
Heart couldn't contain his breaks of ecstasy. Nothing was more humorous than this moment.
"(That's so pessimistic… We probably have our own Heaven, too, yeah? Where there's more of us… And we're not just little anomalies in the head of a spicy-tempered teenager.)"
Bangs of ire rattled across the stained windows.
Harsh clattering filtered through the sides of the frames.
A choir overtook the audience; ghosts of vague memories seated with cheerless smiles.
Mind dropped his body into Heart's limbs, permitting his warm hands to encase his form.
"(Apollo?)" Heart snickered.
"[Yes, Juno?]" Mind chuckled.
"(What would you call me, if we had never gotten any names?)"
"[…I think I'd just call you my friend.]"
"(Yeah?)"
"[Yeah.]"
The rancorous, rotten bash of a door ricocheted off of its protective stance, a clash as its knob collided with the wall.
A yell of anger; a tandem of laughter.
Joyless memories traced the interior of the church.
Happiness dulled in the form of a red Trident.