Work Text:
Hikaku's hand tightens on his brush enough that it creaks warningly, and he has to force himself to let go. The smitten look that Madara-sama is directing at the window - closed but not enough to block out the far too audible singing - makes it difficult to have restraint however.
"As you can see," he takes a deep breath before continuing, reminding himself that he's not allowed to hit his clan head with the scroll in his hand. "The client requests that we - "
A wail of longing interrupts him, something about the moon being father away than the heart, and Hikaku can't take it anymore.
"Will you shut up!" He strides over and flings open the shutters, grabbing his best friend's long tail of hair and yanking. "We can't concentrate with you yowling like a ninneko in heat!"
"But I miss him..." Izuna-sama stares up at him pitifully, sprawling on the engawa like death is a moment away. "Nii-san!"
Oh, and now it's back to the singing.
"I know - I know - that you are doing this on purpose!" Hikaku leans out of the window and jabs two fingers into his clan heir's stomach, cutting off the air momentarily and the noise with it. "The sooner Madara-sama is finished here, the sooner you can have your husband back! Why don't you understand that?!"
"I do understand it!" False tears well up in Izuna-sama's eyes, and Hikaku swears that they even trickle down his cheeks gracefully. Damn their sensei for teaching Izuna how to cry at will! "I just can't bear it, that's all! You two should just go back to work and leave me here, cruelly separated from my love - "
"You are one wall away from each other!" Hikaku knows he's shouting in exasperation, but he can't help it. "How separate can you be?!"
"Very much separate when you insist on shoving me out of the room!" Izuna-sama has progressed from tears to accusations now. Really, if he weren't such a good shinobi, he would have made an excellent addition to any Kabuki theatre. "All I ask for is the ability to stay with my husband!"
"Then you're even more distracting!" Hikaku flings back. "Soulful staring at each other doesn't complete any work!"
"I'm sorry Hikaku, Izuna." Madara-sama interrupts their argument, stepping out onto the engawa to kneel down and press a kiss to Izuna-sama's forehead. "A clan head should be able to devote themselves to the clan under any circumstances, but I just can't when you're so close while also being so far away."
Argh, and now there will be cuddling.
Hikaku throws his hands into the air, beseeching the gods to see what trials have been inflicted upon him.
He turns, fully intent upon stomping back to the piles of paper still awaiting him, only to find his wrist grabbed by strong fingers.
"Which is why," Madara-sama's smile is mischievous, an expression Hikaku hasn't seen since the last time Izuna-sama did this. "I would like Hikaku to take you away."
"Betrayal!" Izuna-sama swoons into the arms of his brother and clan head, acting as if he's been mortally wounded. "From my own husband!"
"Me!" Hikaku can't deny he feels the same way, and he glares as he waves at the stack of waiting contracts. "And then who will help you with these?!"
"I will do them," Madara-sama straightens his spine as if shouldering a heavy burden. "Alone."
Hikaku gapes at his clan head, aghast.
Alone?
Leave Madara-sama alone... with contracts?
This will be a disaster, he can see it already.
But there's clearly no helping it since nothing will be done as long as Izuna-sama is near, so he grabs his friend's flailing arm and pulls Izuna-sama upright.
"You promise they will be done." He stares at Madara-sama pointedly, letting his sharingan surface for emphasis.
"I do." His clan head nods, a solemn vow. "Now take Izuna off to spar please, and don't bring him back before sunset."
"Fine." Badly done work is better than no work, so Hikaku twists his fingers into the collar of Izuna-sama's mantle and ignores the wailing. "I am kidnapping your wife, and I'm not giving him back until you are done."
"The clan appreciates your sacrifice!" Madara-sama's yell echoes through the trees after them as he drags Izuna-sama away. "Good luck!"
That's helpful at least.
With the way today is going, Hikaku will count himself lucky to return home only lightly roasted rather than burnt to ashes.
Still, it's the duty of every Uchiha to work for the glory of the clan.
Even if the job is undignified.