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There are a handful of differences between life in space, and life on Earth.
Scratch that.
There are a shit-ton.
And Rav's ranted to Gidget about how artificial oxygen makes him dizzy sometimes, and he's droned on to Booplax about how it's really hard to get a good TV signal when you're moving at light speed.
At the moment, though, all he really cares about is that alcohol is harder to come by in space. He's somewhat of a lightweight, but with the spaced out drinks, it still takes him two or so to get him tipsy.
Rav grabs the bottle set in front of him, knocking it back, only stopping whenever he feels like his lungs are going to explode.
He takes another sip and nearly chokes from swallowing too fast, and he doesn't care about that either.
Rav sets down the bottle, in front of him, taking in a shaky breath.
He doesn't really care about a lot these days.
The bar is aging and decrepit, there's mold in the cracks of the tiles, and all of the tables support questionable stains. The bartender is an alien, of course, with a few too many eyes and dark blue skin, and he knows Rav by name.
He knows Cosmo's name, too, because when Rav had walked in, the bartender asked him where his pink friend was. Rav had sat down, ordered a beer, and didn't speak to him at all.
It was that bar that Cosmo found out he couldn't get drunk in, and the one that they got into their first fight against others in.
Memories are tied into the walls (along with a few pink bloodstains from that fight, Cosmo's blood darting up in a questionable, unclean-able splatter).
Rav stares down at the counter, listens to the hum of conversation going around him. The bartender pours drinks, the jukebox crones on, high heels click and laughs bark out.
Rav shuts his eyes, soaking it all in.
A few months ago, ship flipped on autopilot, headed to the Necrostar, he had different plans.
Once the space gods were dealt with, Necrostar handled, space giant gone, him and Cosmo would come into the bar, their place, and catch up. Rav would share the adventures he had while looking for Cosmo, Cosmo would laugh, they'd go back to the ship, life would go on as it used to.
Instead, Rav sits alone, and he knows that this is the last time he's going to be there.
So he soaks it in.
Takes in the atmosphere.
Tries to ignores the memories.
Voices echo around him, and he can pick out a few select words. 'Cosmo' and 'saved the day' and 'Necrostar' are common.
That mess is dealt with.
Astronaut's dead.
Space giant's gone.
Cosmo's free.
Rav's work is done.
He takes another long sip from the bottle, finishing it off. He sets it down, waves at the bartender to give him another.
He's going to get fucking drunk, and he's going to go back to the Alexander, and he's going to set his ship on autopilot, headed far, far away.
He's going to avoid his usual haunts, start taking up jobs again, and (hopefully) never see Cosmo again.
And maybe it's stupid to think you can outrun a space superhero, but Rav's willing to try.
The bartender snaps the cap of Rav's next beer off with a satisfying hiss, setting it silently in front of him before leaning in.
“May want to get outta here,” he tells him.
Rav cracks open his eyes, and raises an eyebrow.
“I'm assuming you're here alone because something happened with Cosmo,” the bartender tells him plainly.
“You'd assume correctly,” Rav slurs, and words feel kind of heavy and maybe he's more drunk than he realizes.
“He just walked in,” the bartender tells him. That's all he says before sauntering off, moving away.
Rav freezes.
Half of him wants to turn around instantly. He wants to search the room, see if Cosmo's actually there, or if the bartender is just fucking with him. He's fairly certain that species of alien doesn't have a concept of humor, but hey, Rav's seen the unseen before. He wants to find Cosmo, know just how to slip out unseen, and then leave.
And part of him wants to find Cosmo for other reasons.
He hadn't seen him since the morning after they fucked.
Several months ago.
Rav's been stewing in his hate, pressure building like a volcano prepping to erupt. Half of the audio logs from the past few months are rants about Cosmo. Both Booplax and Gidget know that Cosmo's an off limits topic now.
He's been angry, heartbroken, upset, a dozen other things.
And time away from Cosmo gave him time to pick the situation apart. He's painted him as the villain, found all the flaws from all the years of them knowing each other, built him up to always being an ass.
Rav is still very, very pissed.
But he's scared.
The thought of Cosmo being in the same room as him makes ice run through his veins.
It's more than just facing Cosmo about sleeping together.
It's the fact that Rav finally built up the courage to leave it all behind him. He's put Cosmo in the back of his mind, he's just an asshole who doesn't mean a goddamn thing anymore. It's all over and done with.
And seeing Cosmo has only two outcomes.
The first is that it cements things.
Seeing Cosmo's lips twist into a frown, him bypassing the issues and trying to go back to normal. Rav knows Cosmo, and he's going to skip the awkward talk, pretend like nothing is wrong. That will just confirm Rav's actions, make him fully realize that leaving would be for the best.
The second is that seeing Cosmo breaks down everything.
His eyes, his chuckle, him putting an arm around Rav's shoulders to help him get to the ship because Rav is kind of terrible at walking when drunk. He'll say Rav's name in his deep voice, insist that they go home. And Rav will hate it because Cosmo's arm around him, his presence, the slice of personified galaxy he is, that's Rav's home. Cosmo will smile warmly and talk sweetly and Rav will realize he can't just run away.
So, Rav stills. He takes a sip from his beer, keeps his head ducked low, and acts natural.
A chorus of raised voices rise from the entrance of the bar, and sure enough, half of them are shouting some form of Commander Cosmo's name. A few people shout offers to buy him drinks, and when Rav does risk a glance over, and sure enough, he's there.
He seems somewhat awkward, a bit unsure of how to deal with the dozen or so people crowding around him. He offers half thought out responses, ever polite, while he scans the room.
Rav ducks his head back down, and gives it a bit of time.
In just a few minutes the people fawning over Cosmo grow. He had always attracted plenty of attention wherever he and Rav went, and with dealing with the Necrostar and the Astronaut, his name is more renowned than ever.
Rav waits until the din of the bar is pretty much all centered around where Cosmo must be, and then he stands, tipping his hat down to shadow his face.
He sets money on the counter, enough for his drinks with quite a bit left over.
“Back exit?” he questions.
The bartender glances down at the bill, looking over it carefully to make sure it isn't counterfeit, before nodding, apparently satisfied. He opens up the entrance to get behind the bar, and jerks a thumb towards a door at the end of the back of the bar,
Rav nods, and he leaves.
The door exits out into a small storage room, and there's a door in the back. It opens up into a dirty alleyway, and Rav shuts the door carefully behind him.
Him standing and moving made the alcohol hit harder, his vision blurring slightly, a bit of a sway to his steps. There's a nauseous feeling in his stomach, and he vaguely recognizes that he's going to have a bitch of a hangover in the morning.
There's a small bit of a ruckus from the bar, and Rav attempts to ignore it as he makes his way to the end of the alleyway. Things quiet down slightly, and Rav moves as fast as he can while being half drunk.
The Alexander is parked on the outskirts of town, a ten minute walk. It'll take five minutes to get in the air. Fifteen minutes, and then Rav will be done.
Rav's halfway down the alley, when a figure rushes in.
He pauses by the shadows near the wall, and him and Rav both watch as a few stray fans dart by, not noticing him hiding in plain sight.
His galaxy skin shifts darker, helping him blend into the shadows.
Cosmo takes in a breath, frowning at having to hide from people who didn't understand the simple concept of personal space.
Rav freezes, and decides fate hates him.
“Shit,” he hisses, without thinking.
It's barely audible even to himself, but Cosmo's accelerated hearing picks up on it easily. His head turns sharply, and his eyes go wide at the side of Rav.
He pushes off from the wall, taking a step closer, uncaring if he's seen by anyone else. He lets out a shaky breath, and smiles sadly.
“Rav,” he says, and goosebumps spread over Rav's skin at the sound of his name on his tongue.
Rav thinks quickly.
The alley is narrow, if he attempted to run past Cosmo he'd be caught easily. There's the door to the bar, which he belatedly remembered was locked as he shut it. A quick glance over his shoulder shows that the other end of the alley is a dead end.
He's trapped.
“I've been looking everywhere for you,” Cosmo says, edging slightly closer.
Rav takes a step back.
“I've been searching for a month,” Cosmo continues forward, either oblivious or uncaring of Rav's edging backwards. “Why didn't you contact me?”
Either he moved a lot more, or the alley is a lot smaller than Rav's drunken mind registers, because soon enough his back hits the end of the alley, rough bricks pressing into his back.
No place to run.
Rav straightens himself, forcing his shoulders to square out, standing a bit taller.
“I didn't want to be found,” he says, stopping Cosmo in his tracks.
Cosmo pauses, thinking for a moment before nodding sagely, smile dropping.
“I can understand why, but-”
“Here's what's gonna happen,” Rav says, taking a step forward. Maybe he interrupts because he's drunk, or just past the point of caring, or maybe a bit of both.
Cosmo, who isn't really used to being interrupted by anyone, is somewhat stunned into silence.
“I'm gonna leave,” Rav says, “I'm gonna get on my ship and I'm gonna fly away, and we're never going to talk again.”
Cosmo frowns, and Rav continues.
“I got you out of the star, you're welcome, by the way, dealt with a space giant while you dealt with the rest. My work is done. And I'm done. There's no need for us to talk any more, or ever see each other again, really.”
“So you're just going to cut me off?” Cosmo retorts, “After all we've been through, you're going to leave?”
There's a hint of an edge to Cosmo's voice, something showing off the anger and range of other emotions he's trying to conceal. Rav doesn't really care, at this point. Cosmo could be screaming at him and Rav wouldn't care, or at least that's what he tries to convince himself.
“As I recall, you left first,” Rav replies.
Cosmo's frown deepens
“And you sure as hell didn't give a shit about me wanting you to stay.”
“I was leaving to save the fucking universe, remember?” Cosmo snaps back.
“Did you have to leave right that second?” Rav shouts, rage filling his words. He moves forward a step and jabs a finger in his direction. “I hadn't seen you for fucking years, I thought you were dead, and you were going to leave without even saying goodbye!”
“Just like you're planning on doing!”
“That's fucking different! You left me, twice! You can't just keep on pushing me around like this and expecting me to put up with it!”
Tears pricked at the corner of Rav's eyes, and he told himself that they were from rage and rage only.
“I just can't do this anymore. I can't keep on going through all that you put me through and still mean nothing to you.”
Rav moves to the side, attempting to edge around Cosmo to leave the alley. Cosmo latches onto his upper arm easily, tugging him back in front of him, blocking his path.
Rav feels his back brush against the brick wall again.
He glares up at Cosmo.
“Planning on shoving me around again?”
Cosmo lets out a frustrated sigh.
“I'm not going to-”
“Gonna fuck me and leave me again?”
There's a sharp breath from a few feet away, Cosmo and Rav distracted from their argument, glancing to the noise. The door to the bar ios open a crack, and the second the two look over it snaps back shut.
Cosmo's eyes narrow at the door, glaring at the thought of people overhearing what was supposed to be a private conversation.
He makes a split second decision, using the hand already on Rav he pulls him closer, before easily scooping him up into his arms.
He launches into flight a second later, Rav latching onto Cosmo's shirt tightly and swearing at the sudden lack of ground beneath his feet.
The sudden thrill of being rushed dozens of feet into the air in mere seconds sober Rav up quickly.
He presses himself against Cosmo tightly, latching onto him, despite his better judgment.
He really, really doesn't want to be pushing up against Cosmo like this.
But he also really, really doesn't want to fall to his death.
Cosmo has one arm hooked behind his shoulder blades, the other under his knees. He's holding him rather tight, with no way Rav could slip or fall, but Rav still screws his eyes shut anyway.
Heights aren't really his thing.
Rav curses Cosmo out under his breath, and he can't even hear himself over the wind rushing around them, but he has no doubt Cosmo heard.
Rav keeps his eyes shut tight until he feels the two of them land, and Cosmo sets him on his feet again. Rav opens his eyes, finds him atop a very, very tall building.
The city is sprawled out all in front of them, lights from streetlamps and buildings lighting up the night sky. The wind rushes around them, the moon hangs overhead, and it'd be almost pretty if it weren't so fucking high up.
Rav turns from the view to face Cosmo.
“Look-” Cosmo begins.
Rav brings his fist up, slamming it into Cosmo's eye.
“Fuck you!” Rav shouts at him.
It doesn't really hurt, and Cosmo takes a step back from surprise if anything.
“What was that for?” he exclaims.
“You know I'm fucking scared of heights!”
“Well where are we supposed to go where we wont have a dozen and a half people breathing down our necks?”
“Let's fucking go to the ship,” Rav suggested, before a sarcastic smile appeared on his lips, “Better yet, you can just drop me there, I'll leave, you can fling yourself into a star again! No one will bother you there!”
Cosmo frowned, growing rather quiet. His eyes narrowed, his skin shifted into darker and more quiet skies.
“I'm not going to do that again,” he said, firmly.
“Why not? What changed?” Rav spits out, not holding back at all, “You had no problem fucking leaving me before! Absolutely no issues with leaving you best friend to go kill yourself without another word! And I don't fucking care that I sound selfish, because I deserve to know these things. You should have told me, I could have helped, I could have tried to help!”
Tears grew in his eyes again, and he sucked in a haggard breath. His balled his hands into fists, fingernails digging into the palms of his hands, hard enough to leave bruises.
“I searched for you, for years! For fucking years. And I didn't know if you were dead or alive or what! I put everything on hold just to look for you for fucking years, and you were ready to leave me all over again.”
Rav spins back to face Cosmo again, tears flowing freely down his cheeks again.
“And I've had months to think about it, and I realized that's how it's always been. You're always ready to dart off and have those big adventures without a word, and you always shove me out of the way and say it's not safe or I can't come and it makes me feel like I'm not good enough. And that's the thing, I'm not good enough! You're a fucking space superhero, I can't keep up with that! I've tried, I've tried so fucking hard to help you and be involved with you but I can't. I just can't. Nothing I do is right. Nothing I do is good enough for you.”
He pauses, taking in another shaky breath, looking at Cosmo's impassive face.
“Ever since I met you, pretty much everything I've ever done has been for you. I fucking fell in love with you. And I can't just... I can't stay and have my life revolve around you when I mean shit to you. Because, lets face it, you don't care about me. I've never been anything to you. And it's taken me years to realize it, and it fucking hurts, and I can't stay and allow myself to be treated like this.”
His face is wet with tears, and his lip is quivering. He swallows nervously, and somehow finds the courage to look Cosmo in the eyes.
“I can't stay and be nothing to someone who means everything to me.”
He stops, shoulders shaking and eyes nervous.
That's everything.
He could honestly scream for the rest of the night, going on about all of the ways Cosmo had wronged him, all of his regrets, all of the times he should have left before. Rav has a mental list of every wrong thing Cosmo's did before, and he's ready to shove it in his face the second Cosmo tries to act innocent.
But when it boils down to it, that's it.
He can't stay and mean nothing to Cosmo.
He's had enough of that for a lifetime.
And, admittedly, Rav is half terrified.
He wasn't lying when he said most of his life was centered around Cosmo. Although he knows leaving him is for the best, there's still a pang in his heart at the thought of life without Cosmo.
It's kind of terrifying.
Cutting someone who's been the most important person in your life for years is terrifying.
Rav's scared that Cosmo will stay, and he's even more scared that Cosmo will leave.
“Are you done speaking?” Cosmo asks, calmly.
Rav hesitates for a moment, before nodding.
“You don't mean nothing to me,” Cosmo says simply. “God, you're probably the most important person I've ever known.”
Rav stares at him for a moment, turning the words around in his mind.
“And I hate leaving you behind and out of things, but holy fuck, I've lost someone I've loved before and I can't go through that again.”
Rav feels like his heart stops entirely.
“You love me?” Rav asks, barely believing in what he's hearing.
He takes a breath in, looking back to Rav.
Cosmo nods.
“I do.”
Rav's heart definitely stops.
“I have a lot of shit I need to work on and a lot of stuff I need to make up to you, and I'm sorry. For everything.”
Rav's hands are shaking, and he doesn't have a clue of what to say.
Because Cosmo loves him.
He's daydreamed of this and imagined it and ran a million scenarios through his mind, and now that it's actually happening, he doesn't know how to react at all.
“But if you want to leave, if you think that's for the best, I won't stop you,” Cosmo says, attempting to keep his voice even. “I won't force you to be with me.”
Rav opens his mouth to speak, sputtering for a second or two while his mind scrambles to find something to say.
“I'm scared,” he blurts out, after a second.
Not the best thing to start out with, but the most honest, he thinks.
“I'm just scared. Just, you're a fucking space god and I'm scared that I look like nothing next to you and god, there's Holly, and-”
“Holly's dead,” Cosmo snaps. “Stop bringing her up and stop comparing yourself to her, because she's gone. And yes I still love her, she was the first person I ever cared about, I'm always going to love her. And you have no right to ask me to stop caring about someone I loved.”
He lets out a frustrated sigh, before looking back up to Rav.
“Just because I still care about her doesn't mean that I don't love you.”
He takes a step forward, hesitating a second before reaching a hand up to cup Rav's cheek, turning his head slightly more towards him.
“I'm not saying it's going to be easy or that we can just fly into the sunset and everything be fine, but I am saying that I think it's worth a shot.”
He pauses, licks his lips, and for once Commander Cosmo seems entirely genuine, not a shred of a wall to hide behind in him.
“I love you, Rav.”
Rav leans into Cosmo's touch, a thousand thoughts flying through his mind.
“I love you too,” he says.
He leans up and presses a soft kiss to Cosmo's lips.
And maybe this is a bad idea, and maybe it's going to end in heartbreak. Maybe Rav's going to wake up the next morning and regret everything, and maybe Cosmo will leave again.
There's thousands of doubts seeded in his heart, nagging his mind, and Rav attempts to shove them aside.
Instead, he lets Cosmo pull him closer, taking in the feel of Cosmo's lips on his, Cosmo's arms around him.
Rav practically collapses into him.
And for the first time in years, Rav feels like he's home.