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Alcohol and Speeches

Summary:

s03e18
Type: Fluff/Semi-Smut
Warnings: Sheldon stripping his pants on stage, drinking alcoholic beverages,
Implied smut (Although not on full detail).

"Sheldon is nervous for his speech and Penny offers him some alcoholic
beverages to calm his nerves while reader is in the bathroom. Despite the reader
telling Sheldon not to drink. This is based on this"

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

The room was packed with people looking forward to your brother to end his introduction speech so that your boyfriend, Sheldon Cooper, could deliver his most significant speech. Here you are sat with him and your friends around one of the front tables supporting him.

Meanwhile, your boyfriend is hiding his nervous wreck of a self. He fidgets with his fingers underneath the table; you took notice of this and touched his shoulder, "Hey, you'll be great up there, babe." you reassured him and lightly peck his neck.

"First of all, the projects were totally different.." your brother, Leonard, spoke.

"Well, he better finishes his speech because I am running out of margaritas." Penny joked.

"I think he's getting there." You said, looking up to your peculiar brother, "I need to go to the bathroom, be right back."

"But wa-"

"Penny, looked over him, will you?"

Penny nods then tips her glass in your direction with a big mischievous smile on her face.

You kissed Sheldon again and whispered a "You'll be great, hun," taking a sip of your beverage before running off silently outside the room as to not disturb the other guests.

Sheldon's gaze follows your shape as you closed the auditorium door behind you, "Oh dear." he whispered to himself.

"what's the matter?" Penny asked.

"I am getting dizzy."

"Don't worry, you're surrounded by your seamen," Raj spoke with confidence; the alcohol must have been settling in his system for a while.

"I can't do this; I need (Y/N) or else I am going to faint." Sheldon looked down at his lap, his fidgeting getting harsher by the second.

Penny looked at his friend with concern, "Here, drink this. It'll relax you." handing Sheldon a glass of wine.

"Alcohol? I don't drink alcohol. (Y/N) said she doesn't want me to drink alcohol because then she can't walk by morning."

Penny and Raj look at each other with an evil glint in their eye, "and can't walk...why exactly?" Howard asked, leaning into the table, suddenly interested in their conversation.

"I should probably check on (Y/-" Sheldon said but was quickly interrupted by Penny holding on to his arm.

"Fine. Faint." The blonde woman wore a smug look on her face as Sheldon looked at her mixed with surprised and anxiety and quickly gulps down a glass.

Sheldon stops for a few seconds before testing if he's feeling any different, "I don't feel different. This alcohol's defective."

"Here," Raj said as he hands Sheldon two more glasses, "Yes! see if one of those works." Penny egged on.

Sheldon gulped down both glasses.

"if you'd look at the relationship between nurturing and growth, I'd like to point out that both my sister and my brother are TALLER THAN ME!"

Sheldon cuts Leonard's complaining on the podium as he shouts,

"I AM READY!" with an entire bottle of wine in his hand.

The whole room diverted their attention to Sheldon as he took a swing of the bottled wine.

"Right..." Leonard looks at Sheldon with a smile, "Ladies and Gentlemen. Our guest of honor, Doctor. Sheldon Cooper"

Just in time, (Y/N) arrived on the table again, "Ugh, finally."

Cheers and applause filled the room as your eyes widen from taking notice of the bottle of wine in Sheldon's hand. You braced yourself with what's to come with your face buried in your hand."

"Thanks, shorty. I'll take it from here," Sheldon said as he dismisses your brother. Leonard walks to the seat which was previously occupied by your boyfriend, "Is he okay?" Leonard asked.

"Alright! you people ready to have some fun?"

"Nope," Howard said.

"Speaking of fun, don't worry, babe, this helped calm my nerves, and I am taking the party to the bedroom tonight."

"Oh...no" You buried your face even more into your hand.

All Penny, Raj, Leonard, and Howard look at you with shock painted on their faces, "you guys have coitus?!" Howard asked, smirking.

"Howard, don't- please," Leonard begged.

"Why did the chicken crossed the Mobius Strip? To get to the same side! BAZINGA! a-a neutron walks into a bar..."

"and here's the bar jokes..." (Y/N) whispered to Leonard.

"and asks how much for a drink, and the bartender says; for you? no charge"

"Oh, No," you said helplessly.

"WOW, didn't know he was like that with wine." Penny joked.

"Yeah, didn't know he had being an 'unfunny stand-up comedian' in him," Raj commented.

"We have some academic dignitaries in the audience, eh, Dr. Rando from the geology department. The only man who's happy when they take their work for granted." Sheldon spoked, and out of his mouth came a weird imitation of the drum sound after a funny joke, only his was not amusing.

"Not Dr. Harrison from Geology," you groaned, "Fuck it, I need a drink."

"Here, sweetheart, and I thought you'd never asked." Penny hands you a glass.

"Why? What's with you and the geology department?" your brother asked.

"I am working with them for the rocks on Mars. I am helping Raj with his new thesis, and Dr. Harrison is the only insane person enough to work with us." you explained.

You looked back at the geology department table only to find them glaring at you; you smiled at them with a scrunched face and tipped your glass in which you quickly swallowed.

"I've kept the geologist, of course, because I have no respect for the field..."

"OH, HELL. Leonard, get him up there." You pushed Leonard slightly.

"OW, why me?" Leonard complained and rubbed his arms which you pushed with quite the force.

"Let's get serious for a moment...."

The silent auditorium was now looking at Sheldon curiously. You prayed to the lord that he would stop his nonsense now and say something inspiring.

"Why are we here? because we're all scientists...."

'This is good, this is serious,' you thought.

"And what do we study? The universe"

You looked over at Leonard and sees his eyebrows in an upwards direction. Meaning, he can sense that Sheldon is gonna say something stupid.

"And what's the universe made off? I am so glad you asked"

'aaannnddd he started singing..' you thought

You sigh as you guiltily reached for the other bottle that sits on the table and chugged on it like your life depended on it.

 

time skip image

Morning sunrise came and you woke up with a massive headache. You sat up with your arms supporting you as you squint from the sun peaking through the blinds.

You peeked from underneath the covers and finds both you're naked but Sheldon's missing his pants. You groaned and laid back down, trying to move your legs, only to find that they don't work.

"FUCK!" you shouted loud enough to wake Sheldon who fell out of the bed.

"WHAt? Wha- Intruder? WHERE?"

"None. Get dress, love, and carry me to the bathroom would you?"

Now, both half dressed (because Sheldon can't find his pants and you're only wearing a robe.) but still hungover. Sheldon carried you to the living room where Penny and your brother was, having breakfast.

"Penny, Leonard, would you be able to answer some questions I'm having about the events of last night?" Sheldon asked both of them.

"Yeah, sure" Penny said, holding a mug of coffee, trying not to laugh.

"Question one, where are my pants?"

"Seriously? you and (Y/N) are going at it like rabbits last night and that's your first question?" Penny laughed.

"Shh, she's sleeping." Sheldon whispered, holding you like a baby.

"You might wanna check YouTube. Go On, Just hit play." Leonard said as he took a sip of his coffee.

Sheldon looks scared and confuse as he sat down with you on his lap, your legs spread and your back on the computer screen, sleeping on his shoulder, you hugged him tighter, trying to get comfortable.

Leonard smiled a bit at the scene, if they both weren't looking like alley druggies, this would be cute.

"Alright people, Let's get down to the math. It is only three dimensional thinking that limits our imagination. can I take my pants off over my head?"

Sheldon looked flabbergasted at the video playing before him.

"Of course not. My body's on the way but if we had access to higher dimensions, we could move our pants around our body."

your voice could be hear in the video, "SHELDON, NO!"

"Oh don't worry sweetheart. it's nothing you've never seen before." he cleared his throat, "And our days of dropping trousers would be over."

You chuckled against his neck, recalling the night before.

"Oh, Lord" he said to himself, "This couldn't be anymore humiliating"

"Ah, ah, wait. give it a minute" Leonard spoke.

You hit Leonard in the legs but he just laughs and anticipated the scene on the computer.

"Now, for the astronomers in the audience, get ready to see the dark side of the moon"

"Oh no, here we go." you said in the video as you ran up to the stage to prevent everyone from seeing your boyfriend's behind.

"And here's uranus" just in time you blocked everyone's view and bumped your boyfriend before ordering him to put his pants on, in which he refuse. Leonard came up the stage to your aid and announce that the speech was over and a second passed before everyone applauded in confusion and astonish. You picked up your boyfriends pants before leading him out of the auditorium.

The video ends and both Leonard and Penny bursting out laughing as you hid your face with a smile out of embarrassment on Sheldon's neck.

"Well, doesn't answer the question about the whereabouts of my pants..."

"Oh we found you and (Y/N) having coitus in the Geology Department and your pants thrown in ON THE ELETCTRIC POST OUTSIDE THE WINDOW OF THE GEOLogy" Leonard tried to speak in-between laughs.

Notes:

Give me feedback on my writing or I will cry.

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