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Stanley walked out of the Mcdonalds, purple shake in hand. He didn’t particularly enjoy the drink but he was a hardcore collector and needed to say he tried it. He’d feel like a complete dunce if he walked into work only to find out every single one of his coworkers had tried the Grimace birthday shake. Stanley was already excluded from most conversations considering his selective disinterest in speaking; couldn’t he take part in one as silly as this?
He unlocked his car and sat in the driver's seat, placing his keys on his dash before taking a sip of the purple shake. Immediately, he fell forward, head hitting the wheel with a droning honk.
Upon waking up, Stanley found he was sitting at his desk. His head was swimming and he couldn’t see straight.
“This is the story of a man named Stanley.”
What.
“Stanley worked for a company in a big building where he was Employee #427.”
What the fuck.
The voice continued talking. It said many true things about Stanley’s life, which made him ask questions with no response. That was, until the voice told him all his coworkers were gone. No way. A whole office building of people disappearing? Just like…poof?
“Precisely.”
Oh great, it could read his mind now?
The voice scoffed at being called an “it”. It spoke through clenched teeth. “Anyways, how did you end up here?”
Fuck does Stanley know? He just wanted a Grimace shake. Where was that, anyhow?
“Oh of course it was the- That silly shake has caused so many interdimensional interferences so far, did you know that?”
Stanley shook his head. There was a faint taste of the purple drink on his tongue.
“You mortals are so silly with your “Grimace shakes”. What do they put in those things anyway?”