Chapter Text
Oct. 17th 202X
Whenever you are torn from my presence I can’t help but feel hollow.
I don’t know why.
It’s not the same with Susie even though I consider her a friend, the same as I do you. I miss her, of course, but not the same way that I miss you.
Whenever I look at you it feels as if I can’t breathe. The way you carry yourself, the way you lead so effortlessly, the way you show you care without muttering a word. I long to know what drives you, I can’t help but hope that it might be me.
I don’t know why.
I noticed you left a journal of sorts in your room, I didn’t read it of course! I saw everyone’s signatures on the cover, besides my own. Is that why you left it here? I hope so. I don’t want to be responsible for ruining your book. The thought that you wanted to include me made me happy, I hope it was your intention. I left a chocolate diamond on your nightstand in case it was just a mistake. The thought that it was accidental makes me want to cry.
I don’t know why.
The simple thought of you makes me happy. I decided to get a journal of my own. I thought it would help me distract myself from you. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t write about anything but you. Every page, even this one, is about you, it’s like a paper prison of my own creation. I want you to read these entries so you can help me understand, but I can’t bring myself to show you. I’m scared that you might think I’m weird, I don’t want to push you away. I’d say that this is the one but I know myself too well, I’ll get scared like I always do and you’ll leave soon after.
I…
I know why. I’ve just met you and I’ve already failed.
Do you…? I…
I… can’t help but wonder if when you have to leave my side, do you feel hollow too?