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Laurance thought he knew what love is. He’d felt it in moments of infatuation with a beautiful maiden. Had felt it during his training, when a particularly handsome fellow crossed his path. He thought those feelings, those thoughts that circled his mind was what it meant to be in love. But the older he got; the more reality weighed down on him. Those he fancied cared little about him beyond the physical and he realized that he never really put that much effort into getting to know his lovers either.
As he spends more time back home, he realizes that the only true love he’d ever known, was the one he shared with his family. He was free to be himself around them, without any expectations. That acceptance, protection and care he got from them, were not able to be matched by anything.
But then, he met her. Aphmau felt familiar, in a way he couldn’t decipher. She looked like something out of a dream, or a memory. And that wasn’t just because of how beautiful she was to him. He’d talked to her first in Bright Port, though briefly and after that he couldn’t stop thinking about her. When she showed up in Meteli, he understood it as fate, a blessing. And the more time they spent together, the deeper he fell. He was glad about it. For the first time in a long time, he felt warmth envelop his heart and he refused to let that go. He swore to himself, that he would do anything to protect these precious feelings and to protect the one they were meant for. He would give his life for her, he knew that.
And he did. Through it all, the only thing keeping his sanity was the hope to one day go back to her, go back to his family, see his home. Through those weeks that was all he could do. Hope. It freed him. When he escaped, his sight taken and his transformation incomplete, it was the only thing he could count on. That determination had saved his life and he would always be thankful to her for it.
When he arrived at Phenix drop and met Garroth for a second time, he felt that same familiarity. In the way that Garroth talked. In the way he kept him company when Aphmau was out. In the way that he confessed that he wanted to be brave like him and tell her his feelings. He called himself a coward, but Laurance thought of him as remarkable in that moment. Not many would confess that to others, especially those who could be seen as ‘competition’. Laurance began to see him in a new light.
He realized one night, that they had met before, back at the guard academy. By the looks of things, Garroth had buried those memories, since until Laurance mentioned it, he hadn’t said anything. They spent that entire night trading stories and memories. Laurance found that his smile would not leave his face even the next day. And he wasn’t bothered by it one bit. He embraced the sudden affection, just as he had with Aphmau and just as with her, he didn’t hesitate in letting Garroth know just how much he appreciated his company.
Laurance finally felt as if he knew the true meaning of love, how it felt, how it breathed life into everyone around him. His heart was filled to the brim by it, held, warmed by it. He knew it, in the moments when he would listen to Zoey and Levin. He knew it, in the moments of peace in the village, when everyone realized just how precious everything truly was.
He knew it, in those moments when he would sit in Aphmaus house, both her and Garroth at his side talking or even just staying quiet, that he had found his forever home. He wasn’t doubtful for a second that what he felt was pure love.
And in those moments, he realized that he wouldn’t have it any other way.