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It was a bright, sunny day, without a cloud in the sky. Summer at its finest, most would say. While it wasn't his favourite season, Kazuha didn't dislike it, he usually found the clear skies and sunshine pleasant. Usually.
At that moment, the sunrays beaming through the large glass windows were only proving to annoy him. Not only was the room uncomfortably hot, but Kazuha also wasn't a fan of the light constantly reflecting off of random household objects and blinding him. Silently muttering to himself in annoyance, Kazuha carefully stepped over the wet floor he had just finished mopping, grabbing the curtains and swiftly pulling them closed. The room was immediately bathed in shadows, only illuminated from the light that streamed in from the open windows in the next room.
Kazuha nodded approvingly, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair in behind his ear, before turning around and stepping back over the wet patches on the floor. He was visibly irritated that day, so it wasn't surprising that even the sunlight got on his nerves.
Nowadays, it wasn't too often that the grief from Kazuha's past came back to haunt him. Time had mostly healed the wounds, and the nightmares were few and far between. But there were still days where the grief resurfaced, haunting his mind relentlessly. The previous day hadn't been a good day for Kazuha, emotionally, and that night he just couldn't sleep a wink. He restlessly tossed and turned, until he eventually got up to look for something to do. Gorou had tried staying up with him, but to no avail, he dozed off again with his head on his arms less than half an hour later — not that Kazuha blamed him for that. He didn't expect Gorou to sacrifice his own rest just because he couldn't sleep.
"Try and take a nap today, okay?" Gorou had said that morning, after Kazuha had convinced him not to skip out on his classes for his sake.
"I will." Kazuha had said softly, letting Gorou give him a kiss on the cheek.
It wasn't a complete lie, Kazuha had tried to take a nap. For all of five minutes before he was too restless to stay in bed a moment longer. Sleep just seemed impossible.
That was hours ago. Kazuha insisted on keeping his mind busy, not wanting to give himself a chance to think, should the grief return again. First, he took care of the tedious chores both him and Gorou have been putting off — He stripped the sheets off the bed to put in the wash, before taking the basket of clean laundry that's been standing in their room for two days now, and putting everything in it away. While he was at it, he took the opportunity to tidy the closet. Gorou would probably be happy to hear Kazuha found all the socks he's been losing over the course of the last month.
By the time Kazuha had finished with that, the bedding had finished in the dryer, so he made the bed. Still having hours left before Gorou would return, Kazuha grabbed a broom and began sweeping — he did about a quarter of the livingroom before deciding no, sweeping wasn't enough, he should get the mop.
That was three hours ago. Kazuha had thoroughly cleaned all the floors in their tiny apartment, tidying as he went. His arms were aching all the way from his shoulders down to his wrists.
Sighing heavily, Kazuha deposited the mop in the bucket of murky water, before heavily sitting down on the couch. He reached up, combing his fingers through his sweaty hair, and closing his eyes for a moment. His mind still felt scattered, but at least he had put his anxious energy to use. Gorou would be home soon.
Kazuha lay his head against the backrest of the couch, keeping his eyes closed. He still had to toss out the bucket of water and put away the mop and broom. Then… maybe he could get a start on the dishes, if they had any? That would keep him busy until Gorou came home, although Kazuha wasn't sure if they had any dirty dishes. He hadn't really been in the kitchen that day, aside from refilling his water bottle twice, and cleaning the floor there. Which made him realise that he hadn't eaten a single thing either.
As if to voice it's frustration with that fact, Kazuha's stomach growled softly. He grimaced, simply draping an arm over his middle to silence his stomach. Another side effect of the emotional mess going on in his head, was that Kazuha didn't really have any form of an appetite. The thought of eating something made him feel almost a little queasy.
Ignoring his empty stomach, Kazuha sat upright again. He reached up, rubbing his sore forehead as he tried to recall what he was about to do. His mind felt really fuzzy, now that he had finally taken a moment to stop cleaning and sit down. What was he planning on doing again? Oh right, dishes. But did they have dirty dishes? If they didn't, he could always wipe down the counter tops instead. Maybe reorganise the cabinets? Yeah, that could keep him busy until Gorou got home. He would be home soon, right? He'd have to check the time.
Kazuha opened his eyes again, discarding the garbled thoughts in his mind. Sitting down for a moment made him realise just how tired he was. Hopefully that meant he would actually be able to sleep that night when Gorou got home. Kazuha planted his hands on the couch, grunting softly as he pushed himself up onto his feet in one swift movement.
He must have stood up too suddenly, because Kazuha staggered for a moment, throwing his arms out to the sides to keep his balance. Black dots completely obscured his vision. It should have been something he was able to walk off, but the dizziness was enough to force Kazuha back onto the couch. He breathed heavily, reaching a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. His head was absolutely killing him.
Kazuha reached for the armrest, trying to push himself up again. He stopped, dizzily closing his eye for a moment. Maybe he should just… lay down? Just until he stopped feeling so lightheaded.
Without really thinking, Kazuha shifted his position, pulling his legs up onto the couch and laying down across it with his head supported by the armrest. The ceiling above him appeared to be tilting from side to side, and Kazuha squeezed his eyes shut. He was already started to nod off, barely having had the chance to question why he was feeling so unwell all of a sudden.
Kazuha sluggishly leaned over to the side, trying to reach for his phone on the coffee table. He just wanted to text Gorou, tell him that something was wrong, he wasn't feeling well. Kazuha's hand went limp before his fingertips could even brush the side of the coffee table. The last thing he registered before he completely passed out, was his body tipping to the side he was leaning to, and hitting their carpet with a soft thud.
—
'Finally.' Gorou thought to himself when he finally pulled into the parking lot. He tugged at the collar of his t-shirt, huffing softly. Why did the university's air-conditioning never work? It was a brutally hot day.
He swung open the door and got out, a moment later leaning back in to grab the takeout bag he had picked up on his way home. If his bleary eyes had been anything to go by that morning, Kazuha had probably spent the day napping on and off, or at least Gorou hoped he did. He decided to treat his boyfriend to take out from their favorite restaurant, so they didn't have to bother with making any dinner.
Gorou took the stairs, not bothering to wait on the elevator. He stuffed the takeout bag beneath one arm while fiddling with his keys, until he was able to unlock the door. Not knowing whether Kazuha was awake or asleep, Gorou quietly slipped inside, locking the door behind them again. The lights were switched off, the only light in the small apartment coming from the windows in the kitchen. The curtains in the living room were drawn. Alright, so Kazuha was probably asleep. Gorou was glad — he needed it.
Gorou checked his watch, as he deposited the takeout bags on the kitchen counter island. It was still early, but he was starting to feel a little peckish. Maybe he should warm up some food for himself, and save Kazuha's in the fridge for the time being? Gorou was still pondering what to do, when something caught his attention from the corner of his eye, and he glanced over his shoulder. The bucket and mop from their broom closet was out, standing on the - quite clean - living room floor. Gorou's shoulders sunk. Did Kazuha begin stress cleaning, while he was so tired already?
Gorou began walking into the living room, wanting to gather the cleaning supplies and put them away.
He stopped dead in his tracks.
For a moment, Gorou thought he was seeing things. But no, Kazuha was really lying on his side on the carpet, right next the couch, face resting in the crook of his elbow. Panic seized Gorou, and he was on his knees next to Kazuha before he was aware of his actions. The worst case scenarios immediately spread through his mind like wildfire… but yet, Kazuha seemed completely unharmed and even peaceful. His back rose and fell with his soft, even breaths, arm curled beneath his face like a makeshift pillow. Almost like he was just sleeping. Gorou wasn't sure what to think. Kazuha has had dizzy spells in the past, and has fainted before, so he didn't want to rule out the possibility that he got lightheaded and fell, or blacked out. But looking at the entire scene, it genuinely looked like Kazuha was just taking a nap. Maybe he had been sleeping on the couch, and rolled off in his sleep? Kazuha slept like the dead, it wouldn't surprise Gorou if that had happened.
"Kazuha?" Gorou whispered softly, brushing the hair out of Kazuha's face with his hand. He instinctively rested his palm against his forehead, although there was no trace of a fever. Gorou absentmindedly tucked the loose strands of hair in behind Kazuha's ears, tilting his head to the side as he watched his boyfriend's sleeping face. Kazuha seemed a little pale, but that could easily be his imagination, considering how paranoid he felt already.
"Hey, Kazuha." Gorou raised his voice above a whisper this time, transitioning his hand to Kazuha's shoulder and giving him a gentle shake. "Wake up, love. It's me."
It took a few gentle shakes before Kazuha stirred. He furrowed his eyebrows, squeezing his eye tightly shut. Then, after a moment, he blinked them open. For a moment, Gorou was almost taken aback. Kazuha looked right through him, like he wasn't even there. His eyes drifted from Gorou's face, dazedly looking at the living room.
"Hey, you with me?" Gorou prodded gently. He might have just woken Kazuha up from a very deep sleep, it would be natural for him to be a little out of it.
"...yeah…" It didn't sound convincing at all. Kazuha almost slurred the word, like a tavern regular who's had one too many. He blinked dazedly, looking back at Gorou. Although he seemed to struggle to find his eyes.
"Kazuha?" Gorou asked again, his voice more firm this time, with an audible tremor to it. "Talk to me, come on."
"... I'm… dizzy." Kazuha mumbled, blinking again. He squinted, before squeezing his eyes shut, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "What… what time is it?" With every word he sounded a little more coherent, though he was still confused.
"Just past three, I just got home." Gorou kept a hand on Kazuha's shoulder, wanting to help steady him. "You're sleeping on the floor, love, did you know that?"
"No…" Kazuha was halfway sitting up, but he kept his eyes closed. He's definitely gotten slightly paler. "...why?"
"You probably rolled off the couch in your sleep." Gorou said.
"Oh."
"Come here." Gorou said gently, shifting so he had Kazuha by both his shoulders. "You can't keep lying on the ground. Let me just help you back up onto the couch, okay?"
Kazuha didn't protest, stiffly letting Gorou help him up. His legs quivered beneath him, only holding his weight long enough until he was able to sit back down on the couch. His face had gotten several shades paler.
"You're okay, right?" Gorou hated that he could hear the worry in his own voice. "I mean, you haven't slept properly in a couple of days now, if at all, your body must be exhausted. And you did chores too, so of course you're absolutely—"
Gorou didn't get to finish his sentence when Kazuha suddenly made a choked sounding hiccup. His cheeks bulged out for a moment, and he bent forward just in time to vomit.
Gorou let out a surprised mix between a gasp and a squeak, when a watery mixture of bile and stomach acid splashed on the floor. Kazuha groaned, and Gorou hurriedly reached over, gathering his hair behind his head. He hiccuped a few more times, his back jerking slightly each time. Though he was clearly nauseous, it didn't seem like his stomach had much of anything to expel.
"Are you okay?" Gorou's voice came out a little high pitched with nerves.
Kazuha responded by gagging softly, and something else splashed on the floor. Gorou squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, already feeling a little queasy himself just from hearing Kazuha throw up.
"I'm… sorry." Kazuha's voice was hoarse. He had his head bent low, mouth still dangling open. His eyes were closed. "Just… nauseous. My head is pounding." He sounded more coherent, at the very least."
"Kazuha, how long have you felt sick?" Gorou asked softly. "Should I drive you to a doctor?"
"No, I'm… okay." Kazuha shakily rested his elbows on his knees, letting his hands support his head. "Just so, so tired, and-" His breath caught in a throat for a moment when he breathed in, almost like he was close to tears. "My head is throbbing something awful."
'It's okay, he's okay. ' Gorou told himself, trying to ease his own racing heart. Kazuha had migraines from time to time, quite frequently actually when he didn't sleep right or was under too much stress. It made sense that he got one, considering how long its clearly been since he had some proper sleep.
Kazuha inhaled shakily again, letting out a long, shuddery exhale as his fingers knotted themselves in his hair. Gorou didn't often see him so emotional.
"Come here." Gorou said gently, letting go of Kazuha's hair and moving his hands to his shoulders.
Kazuha didn't need much prompting, immediately leaning into Gorou's touch. He allowed Gorou to pull him closer, immediately melting into his hold against his chest. Gorou pressed his lips to the top of Kazuha's head, somewhat cradling him in his arms.
"It's alright." He whispered. "You're sleep deprived as hell. That's all." He was reassuring himself as much as he was reassuring Kazuha.
For a while, they just sat there. Gorou kept his arms securely wrapped around Kazuha who was curled up against him, with his face somewhat burried in Gorou's chest. He remained in that position until he began to drift off, his unsteady breaths easing into a rhythm. Gorou had started to calm down as well. He was still worried, of course, how couldn't he be? But everything added up in his head. He just blamed himself for going to class that day, and not staying home when Kazuha clearly needed him.
Eventually, Gorou carefully shifted out underneath Kazuha. He supported his boyfriends's head with one hand, until he was able to place one of the couch cushions beneath him to act as a pillow. Kazuha, true to nature, barely stirred, only nestling his face into the cushion instead. Dark circles had become visible beneath his eyes, emphasising just how little sleep his body was running on.
The cleaning supplies were all still laid out, and Gorou picked up the bucket and the mop to clean up where Kazuha had been sick. While he tried not to look too much at the stomach contents on the floor, Gorou couldn't help but notice that Kazuha had only really thrown up liquid. It seemed he hadn't eaten a thing that day, which only served to explain more why he was so under the weather.
Gorou dumped the mop back into the bucket, taking a few steps forward and leaning on the wall. He reached up, pressing the back of his hand against his mouth, and closing his eyes. He simply couldn't clean up puke without feeling nauseous himself.
'Just don't go throwing up too." Gorou internally told himself.
He swallowed thickly a couple of times, before pushing himself off the wall, and trudging back over the kitchen, to fill himself a glass of water at the sink. Gorou rested with his elbows on the counter, staring out of the window as he silently sipped away at the water.
——
When Kazuha woke up again, there was a damp washcloth draped over his forehead, the edges already beginning to dry. The continuous pulsing in his skull had already been reduced to a dull ache. He was still tired, horrifically tired. Really, he just wanted to roll over and sleep more.
Instead, Kazuha stiffly lifted his head off the cushion, slowly sitting upright. The cloth fell from his forehead as he did.
"Hey, you're awake." A hand gently brushed the stray strands of hair out of his face. The calloused fingers were familiar, and Kazuha smiled vaguely as he leaned into the person's touch.
"How's your head?" Gorou asked softly, keeping his voice low.
"Better." Kazuha said softly. "A lot better."
"You sound like your feeling better. That's good, you had me a little worried." Despite the smile in his voice, Gorou's tone was genuine.
"Sorry about that." Kazuha whispered. "I don't remember it all that well, but I didn't mean to scare you. I feel better." He grimaced. "I cannot believe I threw up on the floor, after I mopped it too."
"Don't worry about it, I cleaned up." Gorou said.
"Sorry you had to do that." Kazuha whispered. He felt a little ashamed.
"Kazuha, it's fine." Gorou insisted. "Remember last month, when I got food poisoning from that hot dog I ate? I puked all over the damn hallway floor, and you had to clean up after me. I'm sure it was a lot more disgusting than this." He poked Kazuha's shoulder softly. "Which brings me to the next thing. You hadn't eaten anything today, had you? You were completely running on empty!"
"I didn't feel hungry." Kazuha admitted softly.
"Kazuha, you haven't slept properly for two days now." Gorou said, trying to sound stern. "I saw how clean the apartment is, you worked all day today, didn't you? No wonder I came home to find you sleeping off a migraine on the floor."
Kazuha didn't say anything, avoiding Gorou's eyes. He sniffed softly, reaching up and wiping his eyes on the back of his hand. Gorou's face fell.
"Hey, no, I'm sorry…" he said immediately. "I didn't mean to upset you."
Gorou gently pulled Kazuha closer, wrapping him in a hug. Kazuha rested his head against Gorou's shoulder, allowing himself to be coddled.
"I know you've had a rough couple of days." Gorou whispered. "I don't blame you for struggling, okay? If anything, I should have stayed home today, and made sure you were alright. We won't play the blame game, okay?"
Kazuha only nodded. He was too tired to try and argue with anything Gorou said. All he wanted was to sleep.
"Come on." Gorou whispered, giving Kazuha a gentle kiss on his forehead. "I'm going to give you something light to eat, and lots of water to drink. Then it’s bath and straight to bed with you."
"That sounds nice." Kazuha whispered softly. "That sounds really nice."