Chapter Text
- They way they laugh
Mizuki was doubled over, leaning onto Ena, tears rolling down their face, their hands clawing into Ena’s upper arm, drawing blood as they gasped and spluttered staring at their mutual friends who decided to hold an intervention for them. An intervention that was changed to a belated ‘congratulations you two idiots but also what the fuck, you two are dating?’ according to An (one of Akito’s friends).
“Mizuki,” An sighed as they continued to cry with laughter at how not a single one of them believed Toya when he entered claiming to have seen them kiss in the janitor’s closet (not Ena’s proudest moment admittedly).
The girl in front of her was brushing her hair out of her eyes as she had squealed so loud upon hearing the news finally get confirmed as Mizuki held their hands up, intertwined together. She was too weirdly excited over it, but she seemingly forgot how Mizuki was someone who never took her seriously to begin with and then to hear that not one of them believed Toya, sweet, little, honest and kind Toya, led to a whole laughing fit that Ena was suffering dealing with.
“Mizuki,” Ena sighed, upon realising that Mizuki was going to spend the whole day crying with laughter at the situation. It was a little amusing admittedly, but not worth the levels of dramatics that they were displaying in the moment.
“Yes?” they asked continuing to laugh, but their face staring directly at her. She wanted to kiss them, punch them and throw up all at once as she stared at them, falling deeper in love, the little way their eyes lit up and bore into her soul, as if she was upset or something. And she wasn’t, not really. She had been upset with them, they were work colleagues and a couple, fights were inevitable. But this on Ena’s scale of annoyance (which was very small) was a small thing. It wasn’t as high up as not communicating colours properly or lying about a colour (she still maintained the fact that #03a86c was mint and not green like Mizuki told them it was).
“Can you stop laughing at your friends pity?”
“But, Enanan, they’re your friends too.”
“I have no friends.”
“What about our little K and Yuki?” they teased, sobering up from laughter as their lips formed a teasing grin and their voice smothered in a teasing tone. So thick and so irritating but so them, so true to themselves.
Good.
“They are older than you.”
“But they’re so much shorter than me, just like you princess,” they continued, sending an exaggerated wink as they detached their hand from Ena’s arm, their nails catching the lighting of ‘Weekend Garage’ and their lips shining brighter than the sun with amusement. Amusement that was like a bubbling pan of pasta, that was so close to over flowing and ruining your day but it never. It just gave you that uneasy feeling that kept you tense and on edge and overprepared for nothing making you ill prepared.
“Princess?” Akito repeated, looking up from his coffee, a glare directed onto Mizuki before it shifted to Ena. Easing up a little, if anything his glare at Ena was over keeping this a secret and then making him deal with Mizuki as a potential future in-law.
“It’s a joke,” Ena deadpanned, though her face was bright red.
“It better be,” Akito grumbled, going back to his coffee before showing a face of disgust upon realising he had had some of Toya’s instead. The older one adverting his gaze as Akito clapped him on his back with a ‘sorry bud.’
Ena rolled her eyes at her brother’s obliviousness before staring at the little demon of a partner that she loathed to admit she loved. They were standing at their full height, 5 ft 9, and looking down at her, a cocky smirk on their face since she hadn’t yelled at them for calling her princess… yet.
“And you.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you, Mizuki,” she clarified, “Who isn’t shorter than you?”
“Rui,” they grumbled, pouting lightly as they remembered their old best friend and how he had two inches on them and bragged about it like it was a God damned miracle. If they were being honest, it was part of the reason why they never hung out anymore because one more comment and-
“Is that it?”
“I think, why, do you like short people princess?”
Ena scoffed and shrugged giving no reply as Mizuki’s jaw dropped. “Enanan…”
“I’m only teasing,” she responded, “Now you know why you shouldn’t tease your friends, don’t you?”
“But, I thought you liked teasing?” they asked seeming oh so innocent, shifting back and forth but the grin on their face and the gleam in their eyes and the knowing tilt of their head before the little wink gave it all away as Ena spluttered, her breathing laboured as it seemed like she was trying to get all the air in her lungs out of there.
Mizuki quirked their lips, “Enanan, you’re flushed? Are you feeling well? Did you misinterpret my words? I mean that, you love me teasing because you love my laughter, isn’t that what made you fall oh so far for me? What did you think I meant?”
“Why, you little-“
✎ . . . .
Whoever made it so Ena and Mizuki had to work closely together on their nightcord projects deserved hell. And if that person was in Heaven having a grand old time with the big man up there who was very likely giggling at the suffering Ena was in, they needed to just fall from the clouds and down to the deepest layer of hell that currently existed. In fact, they would need a whole layer dedicated to themselves because they were sick and twisted in the fucking head.
It was better than Ena thought, only since Mizuki was working silently, the only things coming through the speakers was their singing to the songs they were using as they worked on the video. Claiming it was to ‘inspire creativity,’ Ena found it to be a poor attempt at annoying it from the little snickers their microphone picked up.
It was relaxing actually. Even if they weren’t the best at speaking English -they had Yuki do their international tweets- they sounded nice as they sang to the songs.
Ena hated that she liked it.
She liked working in silence, she was sure of that so to like listening to someone sing about how something was ‘almost love’ was irritating. She was positive of that.
“Mizuki,” she began, putting her pencil and speaking into the microphone, earning their attention.
“Finally bored of sighing in annoyance?” they asked, their voice very close to microphone as they turned the music down. The bass no longer blasting through the comfort of Ena’s room, no longer adding anything to her situation as she sat in silence. Refusing to answer them with only the softest hints of singing and music.
“I was not bored and sighing in annoyance.”
“Yes, you were,” Mizuki argued, humming the grating song.
“I just, you never normally do this. Why tonight?” she asked, frustrated, her heart leaping for some random reason. She looked at the computer, as if they were on face chat, they weren’t. It was still voice only but staring at their little picture of the ‘A’ was comforting.
“I was bored,” they replied, “Plus, I’ve been struggling. Maybe listening to love songs would help me, since I doubt any of you have dated someone.”
“I know more about dating than you could ever.”
“Oh really, tell me Enanan. What’s it like to kiss someone? To go out with them in the sun?”
Ena remained silent; she had only risen to their bait. She had been out once, when she was like thirteen. It was a joke thing and by then, Ena realised she didn’t like boys. So, it was very awkward when he tried to kiss her on the cheek. So awkward in fact that Akito had a great time laughing at her misery once she confessed to Airi, but she had forgotten how thin the walls were of their apartment.
“Come on princess, may I have an answer?” they asked politely, putting on a mocking voice. They had turned the music off fully, the two of them alone in silence. Ena refusing to speak as her brain short circuited. Her mind repeating the word ‘princess’ over and over again, not once stopping as it made its rounds in her brain. A headache forming the more time passed.
“I. I am not your princess,” she mustered out, trying to seem strong. But she couldn’t her voice was weak and frail in the night, like a shooting star that had gotten lost on its way. That seemed to begin from space and wind up somewhere else, lost for all eternity.
“That’s right,” Mizuki confirmed as their chair creaked, they were probably sitting up and adjusting their position. “You’re my Enanan.”
“Yours?” Ena repeated.
Mizuki hummed confidently, “Mine. My cute little Enanan with her cute little teddies.”
“I am not cute,” she insisted, her eyes widening as her breaths became ragged.
“But you’re so flustered right now, that’s so cute.”
“Mizuki…” Ena gritted out as Mizuki’s laughter rang through her ears and her room. Bouncing off the walls as their chair creaked again showing how much of a full body laugh it was emanating from them.
“I’m only kidding Enanan. You’re not my anything, nor are you anyone’s anything. You’re Shinonome Ena, painter extraordinaire,” they stated, their voice losing that casual Mizuki quality. That spark was so them.
Ena was stunned into silence, not saying a word as the depths of the words they said hit them.
She couldn’t say anything, she felt stuck as she heard their keyboard going off again. They were working on something, which wasn’t helpful. For all she knew, she could hear one of their stupid games going off again. A character (who she believed to be Elysia, not that she had researched the game or anything) going ‘Did you wake up early just to see me sooner? That makes me happy!’ before they started to giggle with themselves as they often did which usually resulted in Ena’s ire.
Except, it wasn’t that. It wasn’t any music either. It was just them typing away. They weren’t working on a music video right now, they had no concepts. So what could it be?
“Enanan? You still there?” they asked softly. Their typing stopping as they awaited a response.
“I’m here Amia,” she returned, her voice so light that not even a feather could move from the way she spoke.
“I thought I scared you off for a minute,” they stated, “That would be something to tell K, ‘Enanan is not here because she’s a scaredy cat.’”
“I am not a scaredy cat.”
“Really, then, Enanan, will you watch a horror film with me? It will help my creativity for this song.”
“This is going to be like those obnoxious love songs, a way to annoy me. Won’t it?”
“Awww, Enanan, you’re ruining my fun. I love to tease and torment you, you give such interesting reactions. Much better than K and Yuki.”
Ena felt as if she’d been slapped before she puffed her chest up, “Why you little brat.”
“Little? Enanan, you’re the little one here. You’re smaller than an ant.”
“You say that like you aren’t younger than me.”
“Ah, that’s why you’re so small. You’re so old and your body is shrinking on you. Iya, what’s going to happen to all of Toya’s gifts once you die of old age?”
Ena stopped what she was going to say before looking at the screen intensely. “WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?” She screeched as Mizuki began to laugh again loudly, butterflies flying in her stomach as she heard the songs start up again. A poor attempt from Mizuki to drown their laughter out as Ena cursed them on voice call, not picking up her art supplies again. Instead focusing on Mizuki and their laughter.
It was stupid she realised, once it had calmed down and they went back to typing. It was therapeutic she realised, listening to them press the space key (which she realised had a different sound from listening to them type and the frequency of the sound). It was also freeing, she liked their laughter. She didn’t like their teasing, well not all the time, but she adored their laughter. Once it died, it felt like a part of her had died.
It was like for a moment, summer had bloomed in Ena’s heart before winter came and everything died again. There was no passing through autumn though, the beauty of the oncoming end, it was just that. The end at her heart, knocking as she forced herself to grab her book and pencil. Listening to Mizuki repeating the album once more.
They hadn’t checked in on her. Maybe they had gotten their inspiration? Or maybe they were gaming, just without the audio.
But she liked this new routine even as she let herself draw, bringing a leg to her chest, resting the sketchbook on it before she nearly cursed aloud as the sun began to rise. Light streaming through her pink curtains, illuminating the bed and Mizuki’s music came to a stop. A yawn echoing through the microphone.
“Shit, it’s six,” they whispered, laughing softly as Ena looked to her pc, her eyes widening as she saw the time.
“What the fuck?” she breathed as she started to hear Akito wake up and stumble around his bedroom. Likely tripping over whatever clothes or the likes were strewn all over his floor.
“Crazy right, we worked so hard Enanan.”
“I worked hard,” Ena corrected, “You were probably playing the Elysia game.”
“The Elysia game? Enanan, did you research Honkai for me?”
“No, you mentioned her name once as you played,” Ena lied, ignoring the heat on her cheeks. Mizuki laughed.
“I don’t believe you, but I am offended you think I wasn’t working. I was browsing Pinterest for ideas and then started to colour palette find for outfits I think would work for the song,” Mizuki justified. “As well as a music video palette.”
“For…?”
“Lower one’s eyes of course. What other song’s do we have that are sort of love song based?”
Ena hummed, she couldn’t refute that logic. But that didn’t mean she liked it in the slightest.
“Can you send me them then?” she asked, opening nightcord to see a video of Mizuki in live time. Light coming onto their mirror as they looked very focused in the files they were transferring, brows furrowed and mouth set.
“You got that?”
“Yes,” Ena replied. Liking the message and writing a post it note that she stuck on her computer which said ‘look at col. Pals. For M.’
“Good, I guess, I’ll speak to you tonight Enanan.”
“Erm, yeah! See you at one.”
Mizuki logged off and so did Ena who started to fix everything before she looked at her sketchbook and nearly screaming a barrage of curses. She had to just go and draw Mizuki in her time zoned out and singing along to the songs they were playing. And it had to be her best work, which she couldn’t show for fear of them finding out and being either a smart ass or uncomfortable. Or worse, grateful, and mocking. In that order specifically.
Ena was going to kill herself.
She just had to hope her weird emotions were from a lack of sleep; she didn’t sleep well the day before since Akito was working on a new song and busting a lung as he tried to sing it. It was whatever, she had done worse to him and thankfully, he was consistent which meant that when she gave up on sleep, that she didn’t mess up any sketches.
But still. That was the reason for her feelings today since she hated Mizuki. There was no doubt about it.
She just hated to love them.
- Her pride.
“Now, Enanan, you say that like you’re any better,” Mizuki mentioned off handily, leading her over to the massive table An was putting together filled with friends and friends of friends. Seats right next to one another reserved for the lovebirds from how protective An was before she easened up, letting them slip into them.
“I am far superior to you,” Ena said, twisting her head to look away from them and to Tsukasa on her left, her chin raised.
Mizuki snorted softly but said nothing else. They let her believe what she wanted. What was the saying? Happy wife happy life? Not that they were married but, surely that sentiment rang true for a girlfriend… right?
“Agreeing with the girlfriend,” Ken pointed out, “Smart.”
An turned her head to face her dad as he chuckled to himself. She was probably thinking more about her parent’s relationship and how that advice applied to them.
“I know what I’m doing old man!” Mizuki exclaimed; they had developed a sort of relationship with Ken. It was accidental, but An’s concern for them and her being a good friend of theirs led to them visiting her once a week at the café to let her know that they were in fact alive and hadn’t killed themselves. Yet.
So, Ken just got used to seeing them in the middle of the day cradling a cup of coffee and many shopping bags. He wondered what An had gotten herself into since Mizuki was never at work much yet always had the money. But then he remembered Kohane was a gang leader once upon a time and his stress dissipated, knowing that the shy girl would keep her safe. Somehow at least.
It also seemed to fade away from the small smile and nod Toya gave to them as they waved to him and the rest of Vivid Bad Squad before appearing again upon Akito’s grimace and their loud cries of, ‘LIL’ BRO!’ something Akito despised but gave An the perfect ammo to piss him off with whenever she was in a mood with him. Which was often admittedly.
They weren’t bad, just very shifty. Very scared and nervous whenever Ken pried, so he didn’t. But now? Now that they were dating one of children’s sister, he had to care. He had to care so much to make sure that kid didn’t spiral again because Ena spiralled.
“Sure you do kid,” he responded before bringing out a sharing size of pancakes and other treats. Things everyone dived into easily, all the children there instantly getting into conversation, talking to one another across the table as Mizuki and Ena had touched each one of them separately, or they just tagged along since they had no other friends. Which was fair reasoning in Ken’s eyes.
In doing so, no one but him and Akito noticed the sweet nothing’s that Mizuki whispered into Ena’s ears, taking her hand on the table and thumbing it softly. Their thumb circling the skin in a way that was so second nature to them, there were no thoughts on it. It was natural to do so and laugh whenever Ena grumbled, her lips turning downwards before she joined in.
He had heard from Akito who bitched about her very loudly some days, that she was stubborn and prideful. That it was her downfall. That if she was not the best in something or no one loved her things enough, she would spiral like a slinky.
But then again, Mizuki seemed astutely familiar with her pride. With her need to be proud of her skills and boastful and not letting people knock it down. It was a shock that no one noticed they were together before hand, since Mizuki looked at her as if she created a whole town for them and only them that had their dreams and lives living in each house, in each little window was a mini version of them waving at their current versions. In some places, there was rain and they were with umbrellas, hands swinging as they laughed. Or in other versions, they were not as happy as they were but they were still in love as ever, or in other versions they were in a chapel, proclaiming their love to a private ceremony. To a private world and story that no one else knew bar a few and that was only because they were necessary.
Ken wanted to laugh as he looked at the room. He could see why no one could see the love in their eyes, they were all too dense to spot it and maybe superficial since Mizuki and Ena loved their joke arguments. Love was not easily defined by other’s wills; they were proof of that.
✎ . . . .
“Do you think Ken knows we know yet?” Mizuki whispered, looking over to the old man, smiling slightly as they rested their head on Ena’s shoulder. The amount of times they wanted to do this when Niigo went out for their celebratory parties was ridiculous, but Ena would always glare at them and jab them when their head lingered too much since she knew, as soon as her shoulder and their head made a connection. They were not detaching themselves.
It was like glue. They tried to lift their head but it was so heavy and it hurt. How could Ena want them to be in pain like that?
“You’re crazy,” Ena muttered to them, staring at their pink hair since they decided to face Akito and wave to him.
“A little, but I understand people.”
“You do?”
“Yes, I do. People are easy to read,” they stated.
They were good at figuring people out, it was just trust that was the issue. You could figure someone out and their life story and what they wore and acted, it was simple observations. Such as, Shizuku was just doing work due to wearing the green pin striped dress which she only wore when she was on work. For day to day life, she would rather wear something that was neutral and plain. Maybe it was staged everyday paparazzi?
And then there was An who was very genuine, who was very bubbly and ripped her heart out of her chest and attached it to her arm showing her true self in her day to day life perfectly. She was very passionate and all open with her feelings, something she probably got from Ken.
It remained them of their sister.
It was comforting, they missed her daily. Her picture from France did nothing to close the distance between them that was more physical than emotional than anything else.
“What are you thinking about?” Ena asked, kissing their forehead as they adjusted their position in the chair to lean more comfortably.
“You.”
Ena scoffed, but she didn’t mean it. She was too prideful to be seen associating with such pathetic emotions like love and reminiscing. She was too stubborn to allow herself to conform to those pathetic little winding feelings until Mizuki had chipped away at everything. Taping softly with their pickaxe as they broke the rock around Ena’s heart of topaz, working away and polishing the stone, removing the dust even if it didn’t want to leave. And at some point, they had to stop since she liked things to be a little dusty, little reminders of her previous failures like the little scar under her eye from Akito chucking a text book at her once.
It was how they knew that she loved them before they knew. But they were fine with that, they loved her longer. It was just that once she fell, she fell hard causing a cataclysmic event wiping out the whole universe.
✎ . . . .
Mizuki was once again singing to Sabrina Carpenter. Maybe they were fucked up in the head but singing was so nice and freeing especially since they had nothing better to do. Kanade was working on a song, Mafuyu on lyrics, Ena on art and they had nothing. They couldn’t do music videos without Ena being finished even if they had a back log, they also couldn’t work on their current song since well neither Kanade or Mafuyu had finished so they got to spin on their chair and tweet from their twitter account. Holding a tiny q&a as Amia, not Mizuki.
It was strange honestly. It was weird having both Amia and Mizuki have to fuse together when with niigo. Ena and the others expecting the happy-go-lucky person they portrayed when they really were as depressed as them. They were just silent about it.
Keeping it in was nice and easy. And that was good. Letting it out gave people too much trust and too much ammo. Hence, why they were shocked at how easily Ena talked about her dad and her brother and her rocky relationship with them both. She had no hesitance and took it in stride. It was what it was.
“Amia?” Ena called out unmuting herself as Mizuki turned the music down, and unmuted themselves.
“Enanan!” they exclaimed not needing to force happiness in their voice anymore since she was there and it wasn’t like they were speaking to K or Yuki. Not that they disliked either one of them, it was more to do with the fact that it was awkward between them since Mizuki liked to talk and work in everything but silence, that left them alone with their thoughts. But K and Yuki liked silence. The jokes they made that were witty and clever fell flat since Kanade never got them so Mafuyu would have to explain and Yuki explaining ruined the whole thing since it meant she got it but didn’t laugh. Without Enanan…
Well….
It was awkward now since that infamous day of them singing almost love, but the awkwardness was not anything new. They had fought multiple times and they had teased her to the breaking point more time than they could count on their two hands. But this time? It seemed different and hurt more so than before. Ena was more recluse, but not in a sense of she was struggling with art since she wasn’t posting five hundred selfies a minute, but she was just quiet. When she had an idea and creativity, she would talk everyone’s ears of. It likely annoyed K and Yuki but they loved it. But they were greedy when they loved. Her voice was the best thing they had ever heard.
They missed her admittedly. They missed annoying her a lot but most of all her pride. There was no one that they knew that carried themselves the way she had. That had the passion and the anger to live the way she did. Deadpanned and all. Not a single one of them were anything like Ena.
It was what attracted them to her.
They never lived in denial, not once. At first, they were coworkers in their brain. That was true. But overtime, there were things to fall in love with. Firstly, the fact that since they found her artwork first made them closer. They saw something that not many others had. It also meant they were privy to her social media where she posted many edited photos, but they had seen her first above all else. They were (at one point) the only one to know what at least one member of their circle looked like.
It was special.
There was also the way she would argue with Akito when he would just enter without asking for permission and take a seat on her bed before commenting on her teddy bears – this gave them perfect ammo to tease her relentlessly-.
They weren’t foolish just because they were hesitant, they liked the way she was blunt even if it could cut their heart in ribbons. They would let her do that though. They had no qualms about it. It wouldn’t be anything new, they were used to the pain. It was their safety in the cold winter nights, a constant reminder of how people left and were not to be trusted.
But not her oddly enough.
Not the person who heard the first bit of hesitance in their voice the day they met and said to cut the bullshit. She was too arrogant for that. But her arrogance was attractive, until it turned onto them as it always did since caring and admitting, to some degree, that she cared for Mizuki was easier than saying she cared for Yuki and K.
“You’re good with drawing outfits, right?” she asked, getting straight to business, her voice uncertain.
Mizuki hummed into the micropgone, it pissed her off considering the huff of air she released.
“Look at this,” she commanded, before Mizuki’s nightcord had a new notification. An Ena illustration where Mizuki could see the idea of the outfit, but could see her failed execution at getting it just right.
Mizuki looked at it again, frowning as she saw the poor Mafuyu picture before sighing aloud.
“I looked.”
“And?”
“And…?”
“Amia,” Ena huffed in annoyance, “Come on. You know what I’m asking for.”
“Do I? Maybe you want me to comment on your thoughts on precious litt-“
“Shut up!” she hissed, before she (likely) threw her hands up taking them off her computer and looked away from the screen. “I don’t like her.”
“Oh? So you like someone?” they teased though they hated the bitter taste it left in their mouth. They didn’t want her to like someone as their crush, but as their friend? She deserved it honestly and they best had like her back or they would kill them. Simple.
Silence fell between them before two consecutive notifications rang through. Leaving only Ena and Mizuki in the call, K and Mafuyu leaving them.
“I don’t. I do not and will not succumb to such childish feelings.”
“You believe that,” Mizuki replied as Ena sighed once more.
“I know that,” Ena retorted before turning on video chat. “But, you know, sometimes I guess I fear.”
“Now, that wasn’t hard was it.”
“It was. I could feel the rusty nails ripping up my throat and it was more pleasurable than confessing to that.”
“You’re not a good liar you know?”
“I am.”
“To me, you are not a good one.”
That felt weighted. A loaded gun that Mizuki didn’t mean to set up and the bullet shot Ena and the gun powder ricocheted and covered them up. Making them blind.
“Nevermind,” they whispered as Ena leaned forward. Face in the camera looking for them as they looked away, avoiding the screen. And she knew it subconsciously since they didn’t have their web cam on. Their room was their private space to be themselves, old and new.
“No, you don’t get to hide Mizuki. Tell me what you meant?”
“Enanan-“
“You are insulting my hardwork, I deserve to know. You know that. It’s always been like that since we’ve met.”
Mizuki bit their cheek, it had been. They refused to ackownledge what was wrong with their art and Ena yelled at them in the same way, she was arrogant and people hated it. But that was fine, because she never denied it. She made it her own and wore it with pride.
“I didn’t mean to offend. I just, well, you don’t lie well. You can always tell what you want and mean, but I apologise for taking it this far.”
“Don’t apologise,” Ena said, moving her hands which were stained in graphite. “How do you know I like someone?”
“You seem happier, according to Akito, you’ve been humming love son-“
Ena didn’t let them finish before she jumped up to kill him. Unfortunate, since Mizuki only knew it from their private calls. But Akito surely had to know and have told someone (they were praying he had told An at least, actually they should text her to let her know to play along with them).
Ena was many things, but prideful was the best summary of her. But she was so much more if she let herself be. If she tried to let herself be more and listened to the words people told her, the truths they said. But she didn’t because Shinonome Ena knew best and that was the end of that.