Work Text:
Erling Haaland woke up with a broad smile on his face, eager to embrace the day ahead. The sun peered through the curtains, casting a warm glow on his bedroom. He stretched his limbs and hopped out of bed, feeling the familiar rush of energy that came with the anticipation of a fresh start.
As he walked over to the window, the gentle breeze played with his hair, carrying the scent of blooming flowers from the garden below. Erling reached for the blinds, ready to unveil the beauty of the morning, but to his surprise, he found himself face to face with a jubilant figure just outside.
"Erling! Come sign for Liverpool!" Klopp exclaimed, reaching out his arms in a gesture of enthusiasm.
Erling blinked, his confusion evident. "Klopp, what are you doing outside my window?"
Unfazed by the question, Klopp persisted, "Forget Manchester City, Erling. Join us at Liverpool, and we'll conquer the world together!"
Not quite sure how to respond to this unexpected encounter, Erling decided to close the blinds, temporarily shutting out the bizarre invitation from Klopp. Instead, he turned on the lights and made his way to the closet to find something to wear for the day.
However, as he opened the closet door, he was greeted by another surprise. Erik Ten Hag, the coach of Manchester United, was standing inside the closet, almost as if he had been waiting for this exact moment.
"Erling, my boy, join us at Manchester United!" Erik exclaimed with a mix of excitement and urgency.
Erling's eyebrows shot up in disbelief. "Wait a minute, Erik. Why are you hiding in my closet?"
Erik blinked in confusion, momentarily taken aback. "Um... well... sigh?" he managed to utter before Erling slowly closed the closet door, deciding it was best to leave that strange encounter behind.
Resigned to his fate of staying in his pajamas, Erling realized he would have to wear his usual attire: a pair of comfortable gray shorts and a black shirt adorned with the Manchester City logo. Pep Guardiola, his coach, had instructed him to wear the logo at all times, though he never quite explained why.
Erling, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes, descended the staircase, feeling the lingering grogginess of his slumber. As he entered the living room, he glanced around, expecting to find his father, Alfie Haaland, enjoying his morning routine. However, to his surprise, the room was empty, devoid of any signs of life.
Curiosity piqued, Erling made his way to the kitchen, where he discovered a handwritten note from his father, Alfie. The note explained that father had already left for the day, but he had taken the initiative to prepare breakfast for his precious son. A warm smile formed on Erling's face as he read the affectionate message.
Following the note's instructions, Erling retrieved the breakfast from the microwave and placed it on the table. He admired the sight of the traditional English breakfast laid out before him, complete with sausages, eggs, bacon, and all the trimmings. However, as he prepared to sit down and indulge in the meal, he noticed something amiss—there were no utensils in sight.
Just as he was about to rise from his seat to retrieve a fork and knife, a hand extended towards him, holding the missing silverware. Erling's eyes widened as he looked up to see the unmistakable face of Cristiano Ronaldo, one of the greatest footballers of all time.
In disbelief, Erling hesitated for a moment before cautiously accepting the utensils from Ronaldo's outstretched hand. Ronaldo's voice carried a hint of charm as he spoke, "Erling, my friend, you have incredible potential. Why not join me at Al Nassr? We could create magic together."
Caught off guard by the unexpected encounter, Erling slowly brought a hand to his lips, suppressing a chuckle. "I appreciate the offer, Cristiano, but I'm happy at my current club. Maybe another time."
Ronaldo's brow furrowed slightly, his annoyance palpable, but he nodded in understanding. With a swift nod, he vanished from the kitchen, leaving Erling momentarily bewildered.
As he processed the bizarre encounter, a thought struck him..
Why did Ronaldo choose to exit through the window when the door was right there? Erling shrugged, deciding it was just another quirk of the day, and proceeded to enjoy his breakfast in peace, savoring the flavors and contemplating the strange series of events that had unfolded.
After finishing his delicious breakfast, Erling Haaland made his way to the bathroom, ready to freshen up for the day ahead. As he stood in front of the mirror, toothbrush in hand, he began brushing his teeth, the minty flavor of toothpaste filling his mouth.
Mid-brush, Erling's phone emitted a familiar ping, indicating a new notification. Curiosity got the better of him, and he let go off the toothbrush, keeping it between his teeth before grabbing his phone to see what had caught his teammates' attention.
Opening the Manchester City group chat, Erling discovered a flurry of messages from his teammates, particularly Kyle Walker. It seemed that something had stirred up quite a commotion on Twitter. With a mix of amusement and intrigue, Erling navigated to the social media platform.
To his surprise, Erling found himself inundated with messages from enthusiastic Barcelona fans, tagging him and fervently asking him to join their beloved club. The sheer number of messages and the outlandish promises made Erling almost choke on toothpaste in disbelief.
Chuckling, Erling scrolled through the deluge of tweets, some pledging to sell off esteemed Barcelona players just to make room for him. It became apparent that Xavi, the Barcelona manager, had incited this frenzy by encouraging fans to rally behind the idea of Erling joining their ranks.
Setting his phone down for a moment, Erling contemplated the unexpected attention. It was both flattering and amusing to witness the lengths to which fans would go to express their desires. Returning to the group chat, he noticed a message from Phil Foden, his teammate and friend.
"As if they could afford him," Phil's message read, accompanied by a laughing emoji.
Erling couldn't help but burst into laughter, the humor of the situation not lost on him. He typed a reply, "Haha, exactly, Phil! I'm happy right where I am."
With a renewed sense of contentment, Erling resumed his morning routine, completing his shower and ensuring his teeth were thoroughly brushed. As he stepped out of the bathroom, he couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude for the exciting and occasionally absurd experiences that football brought into his life.
Little did he know that the day still held more surprises and encounters in store for him.
After adjusting his attire, Erling Haaland let out a slight sigh of annoyance, still bemused by the fact that he had unintentionally donned his pajamas for the day. However, a sudden realization washed over him, and he couldn't help but chuckle at the memory of previous occasions when he had accidentally shown up to work in his comfortable sleepwear. He playfully facepalmed, accepting the humorous side of the situation.
Erling made his way through the house, reaching the garage where his car awaited. Opening the car door and sliding into the driver's seat, he prepared to embark on his day's adventures. Yet, just as he was about to close the door, a voice caught his attention.
"Nice car," the voice remarked, tinged with admiration.
Startled, Erling turned his head, his expression stoic as ever. To his surprise, he found Kylian Mbappe hanging upside down from the car roof, a mischievous grin adorning his face.
"Hey, Erling, PSG could use someone like you," Mbappe playfully suggested, dangling effortlessly from the car.
Erling's mind struggled to process the unexpected intrusion, and his reply came out more as a bewildered question, "Why are you in my car...?"
Mbappe's grin widened, his playful demeanor undeterred. "Just thought I'd drop by and make you an offer you can't refuse," he replied, his tone filled with playful camaraderie.
Blinking in astonishment, Erling's stoicism gave way to a faint smile. "As tempting as that may be, Kylian, I'm happy at Manchester City. But thanks for the offer."
With a graceful twist, Mbappe swiftly descended from the car, landing on his feet with ease. "Fair enough," he replied, shrugging nonchalantly. "If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me."
As Erling watched Mbappe disappear into the distance, he couldn't help but shake his head in disbelief. The day had taken a decidedly… whimsical turn, with unexpected encounters at every corner.
But then…
The passage door opened. And in came Mbappe who sat down next to him.
Surprised by Mbappe's sudden reappearance in the passenger seat, Erling Haaland couldn't help but raise an eyebrow in amusement and confusion. However, before he could voice his bewilderment, Mbappe spoke up with a sheepish expression.
"I can't go to the airport until 4 pm, and I don't have a hotel," Mbappe admitted, sounding a touch embarrassed by the predicament.
Erling chuckled, his amusement overriding any lingering confusion. "Well, in that case, how about you come with me to training? We can figure out everything later."
A grin formed on Mbappe's face as he nodded in agreement. "Sure, that sounds like a plan."
With a newfound sense of camaraderie, Erling started the car, the engine purring to life.
As Erling Haaland navigated the roads toward Manchester City's training ground, he found himself increasingly exasperated by the persistent attempts of football fans to sway his allegiance. With every passing moment, it seemed that more and more people recognized him, their voices merging into a cacophony of shouts and pleas.
From car windows and sidewalks alike, supporters of various clubs shouted fervently, passionately advocating for Erling to join their respective teams. It became a veritable chorus of voices, each trying to capture his attention and convince him of their club's merits. The relentless barrage of persuasion made it difficult for Erling to focus on the road, disrupting his driving experience and hindering his concentration.
Erling's frustration grew with each passing interaction. He yearned for a moment of peace, a respite from the constant clamor. The noise and chaos threatened to overshadow the enjoyment of the day's adventures and camaraderie with Mbappe.
Determined to regain control of the situation, Erling mustered all his patience and resolve. He took a deep breath, reaffirming his commitment to his current club and the path he had chosen. With a steady hand on the wheel and a determined expression, he navigated through the sea of enthusiastic fans, determined to reach the training ground.
Arriving there , Erling parked the car, finally escaping the relentless barrage of voices. He turned to Mbappe, a wry smile on his face, ready to focus on the day's training and enjoy the sanctuary of the football pitch.
Together, they stepped out of the car, leaving behind the chaos of the road. As they entered the training ground, Erling felt a sense of relief wash over him. The pitch, with its immaculate green surface and the familiar presence of his teammates, provided a sanctuary where he could momentarily escape the constant persuasion.
Taking a deep breath, Erling embraced the tranquility of the training ground, letting the sights and sounds of football wash away the remnants of the tumultuous journey.
.. but then. As honestly expected. More stuff went to shit.
Erling Haaland and Kylian Mbappe strode into the training ground, their presence catching the attention of Pep Guardiola, the esteemed Manchester City manager. Erling approached Pep with a friendly smile, eager to clarify the situation.
"Pep, Kylian's just here to watch today," Erling explained, his tone lighthearted. "He's not joining the training session, but we thought it'd be fun to have him around."
Pep Guardiola's eyes narrowed slightly, a hint of suspicion flickering across his face. It seemed as though he sensed there was more to Mbappe's presence than mere observation. However, before Pep could voice his thoughts, Erling swiftly interjected, taking hold of Mbappe's hand.
"Come on, Kylian! Let's join the rest of the team," Erling exclaimed, his grip firm and decisive.
With a bemused smile, Mbappe followed Erling's lead, their connection as fellow footballers strengthening their bond. They joined their teammates, who greeted them with friendly banter and warm camaraderie.
As Erling Haaland and Kylian Mbappe immersed themselves in the training session, a palpable sense of unease settled over the atmosphere. Something felt off, and Erling couldn't quite put his finger on it. His brows furrowed in confusion as he glanced around, trying to make sense of the peculiar energy that lingered in the air.
Suddenly, an unexpected commotion disrupted the training session. Running onto the field, Vinicius Junior and Gavi, locked in an intense fight, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they were in the midst of a training session. Erling's confusion deepened as the two players got closer, their tumultuous clash gradually converging toward him.
Rolling his eyes with a knowing chuckle, Erling realized the reason behind the chaotic encounter. Vinicius and Gavi, driven by their desire to convince him to join their respective clubs, had resorted to this unconventional approach. Erling couldn't help but find amusement in their persistence, even as the situation took an unexpected turn.
Reacting quickly, Kevin De Bruyne, ever the protective teammate, positioned himself in front of Erling, shielding him from the incoming chaos. However, in the midst of the scuffle, Gavi inadvertently unleashed a powerful shot, hitting De Bruyne squarely in the face. A collective gasp echoed through the training ground as De Bruyne crumpled to the ground, clutching his face in pain.
Pep Guardiola's voice could be heard in the distance, calling out for his beloved player. Erling's shock mingled with concern as he witnessed the aftermath of the unintentional collision. The tension in the air grew as Gavi attempted to downplay the incident with a half-hearted quip.
"It's a joke, not a dick, don't take it so hard," Gavi remarked, as if the incident had been intentional.
Erling's patience waned, frustration tugging at his voice. "You hit Kevin with a football because he wouldn't let you near me!" Erling exclaimed, a mix of exasperation and protectiveness evident in his tone.
Gavi attempted to continue his argument, but Erling interjected, cutting him off. "Because I don't want you here!" Erling sighed, the weight of the situation evident in his words. "I swear I should just delete the release clause."
As Kevin De Bruyne lay on the ground, clutching his nose and blood trickling down, Pep Guardiola's dramatic reaction bordered on theatrical. His face contorted in anguish, he was convinced that his beloved player was on the verge of a dire fate. Tears welled up in Pep's eyes as he hovered anxiously over De Bruyne, making a spectacle of the situation.
"Kevin, my dear Kevin! Don't leave us!" Pep exclaimed, his voice quivering with exaggerated despair. "We need you! The team won't be the same without you!"
Meanwhile, De Bruyne, though clearly in discomfort, managed a weak smile through the trickle of blood. He assured Pep that he was alright, attempting to alleviate his manager's excessive concern.
"Pep, it's okay, I just need a napkin," De Bruyne said, his voice slightly muffled as he gingerly sat up.
But Pep, caught up in his melodramatic display, refused to be comforted so easily. He continued to wail and lament, insisting that De Bruyne's injury was much more severe than it appeared.
"My poor Kevin, your face is a work of art, a testament to the sacrifices you make for this team!" Pep cried dramatically, tears streaming down his face.
The rest of the team exchanged bemused glances, their expressions a mix of amusement and slight exasperation. They sweatdropped in unison, understanding that Pep's theatricality was a part of his passionate nature. Despite their amusement, they couldn't help but feel a sense of respect and admiration for the intensity of Pep's care for his players.
Eventually, one of the team staff members discreetly handed a napkin to De Bruyne, who used it to staunch the flow of blood. With a gentle pat on the back from his teammates, he rose to his feet, assuring everyone that he was indeed fine.
As the training session continued, a brief lull settled between Erling Haaland, Gavi, and Vinicius. The previous chaos and commotion had subsided, leaving an awkward silence in its wake. However, it didn't take long for the competitive spirits of Gavi and Vinicius to resurface, each vying for Erling's attention and attempting to convince him to join their respective clubs.
Their voices overlapped, each clamoring to make their case heard above the other. The air grew tense as the two players engaged in a silent battle of wills, their glares conveying a sense of determination mixed with frustration.
Sensing the need to intervene, Erling Haaland brought the passionate exchange to a halt. He turned to face Gavi and Vinicius, his gaze piercing and his tone cold as ice.
"No," Erling uttered firmly, his voice carrying a resolute conviction.
The abruptness of Erling's response caught Gavi and Vinicius off guard, silencing them momentarily. The weight of Erling's rejection hung in the air, underscoring his commitment to his current club and his desire to stay true to his path.
But just as quickly as the coldness had enveloped the moment, Erling's demeanor softened. A warm smile graced his face, radiating a genuine appreciation for the efforts Gavi and Vinicius had made.
"But thank you," Erling added, his voice filled with gratitude and respect.
In those simple words, he acknowledged the passion and persistence of his fellow players. Erling understood the drive and ambition that propelled them to advocate for their clubs, recognizing the shared love they all had for the game.
The tension between Gavi and Vinicius eased…
And soon enough, after Erling ate his lunch in the cafeteria and watched the other three starve cause that’s what they deserve..
Erling, Gavi, Vinicius, and Kylian settled into the car, and they went on the journey to Manchester Airport. With a bit of time on their hands though, Erling initiated a lighthearted conversation, curious about the motivations behind their collective attempt to convince him to join their respective clubs.
Erling glanced at Gavi, Vinicius, and Mbappe, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "So, gentlemen, why did you all come all the way from Spain and France to try and bring me?" he asked, a playful smile tugging at his lips.
Gavi, sitting in the backseat with Vinicius, chimed in first, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "Well, Erling, it's simple," he began, his voice tinged with excitement. "I heard you have an uncanny ability to score goals while doing a backflip. We needed that kind of acrobatic prowess in our team!"
Erling chuckled at Gavi's reason, appreciating the imaginative flair behind his explanation. He turned his attention to Vinicius, curious about the Real Madrid winger's perspective.
Vinicius leaned forward, a playful glint in his eyes. "Erling, I heard a rumor that you possess the power to hypnotize defenders with your intense gaze," he said, wagging his eyebrows for effect. "We thought that would come in handy during those tight matches when we need a little extra magic."
Erling burst into laughter, impressed by Vinicius's creativity. He then turned to Kylian Mbappe, eager to hear the PSG star's reasoning.
Mbappe leaned back in his seat, a smirk playing on his lips. "Erling, my friend, word on the street is that you have an extraordinary talent for convincing goalkeepers to save shots for you," he teased, his tone filled with mock seriousness. "We wanted to harness that power and create a team of unstoppable scorers."
The car was filled with laughter, the absurdity of their reasons permeating the air. As the conversation continued, Erling couldn't help but appreciate the light-heartedness in the small group.
Erling then raised an eyebrow, a playful smile tugging at his lips. "Come on, guys. Seriously, why didn't you just text me? Why did you go through the trouble of coming all the way to Manchester to convince me?" he asked, his voice laced with amusement.
Gavi, Vinicius, and Mbappe exchanged sheepish glances, realizing the simplicity of Erling's question. They groaned in unison, their faces contorting with a mix of embarrassment and amusement. It was clear that they hadn't considered the obvious solution of reaching out through a simple message.
"Ah, we must have let our enthusiasm get the best of us," Gavi admitted, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "We were just so caught up in the excitement and the prospect of having you in our clubs."
Vinicius nodded in agreement, a self-deprecating smile on his face. "We didn't really think it through, did we? Sometimes the simplest solutions escape us when we get carried away."
Mbappe, leaning back in his seat, chuckled softly. "Well, Erling, you've caught us red-handed. We were just so eager to make an impression and show you how much we valued your talent."
Erling's laughter filled the car, his mirth contagious. He shook his head, his smile warm and genuine. "Guys, it's all good. I appreciate the effort, and it's been a blast spending time with all of you. We can always laugh about it now."
The car fell into a momentary silence, each occupant lost in their own thoughts. However, it was Kylian Mbappe who broke the quietude, his voice carrying a newfound realization.
"You know, Erling, as much as I would love to have you in my club, it wouldn't make sense," Mbappe admitted, a contemplative tone coloring his words. "We work better as rivals, pushing each other to greater heights. We have the potential to become the future 'GOATs' of the game."
Erling, taken aback by Mbappe's insight, shook his head in amusement. "Oh, come on, Kylian. 'Future GOATs'? You're setting the bar pretty high there!"
But then, a sudden recollection brought a mischievous grin to Erling's face. "Oh, by the way, Cristiano was at my house this morning."
The car erupted in a cacophony of astonished exclamations. Gavi, Vinicius, and Mbappe all blurted out in unison, their surprise evident in their voices.
"WHAT?" they exclaimed, their eyes wide with disbelief.
Erling couldn't help but chuckle at their reactions. "Yeah, believe it or not, he showed up out of the blue, trying to persuade me to join his team. He really knows how to make an entrance."
The astonishment in the car gradually transformed into a mix of amusement and curiosity. The mere mention of Cristiano Ronaldo's unexpected visit had sparked a flurry of questions and wonder.
Gavi, unable to contain his curiosity, leaned forward in his seat. "What did you say? Did he bring any trophies with him?"
Erling chuckled, shaking his head. "Well, I told him I'm happy at my current club. And no, he didn't bring any trophies, but he did try to use his charm to sway my decision."
Vinicius grinned mischievously. "I bet he did! Cristiano sure knows how to work his magic. But I'm glad you stood your ground, Erling."
Erling shrugged his shoulders..
“He did get out using the window though” Erling then added to which the car got quiet for a moment. But then Vinicius simply replied “Luka always said he’s special, not just in football”.
Erling Haaland watched as Gavi, Vinicius, and Mbappe entered the airport, their departure marking the end of an eventful and entertaining day. As they disappeared inside, Erling couldn't help but notice that they carried no bags with them, which struck him as peculiar. However, he shrugged it off, attributing it to their spontaneous nature and the fact that they hadn't thought much about logistics.
As Erling drove back home, his mind wandered, reflecting on the whirlwind of events that had unfolded throughout the day. From Klopp's unexpected visit in the morning to the amusing encounters with Erik Ten Hag, Ronaldo, and his teammates, it had been a rollercoaster of laughter, surprises, and camaraderie.
He couldn't help but smile at the memories that flooded his mind. The playful banter, the shared jokes, and the genuine connections he had forged with Gavi, Vinicius, and Mbappe reminded him of the joy and passion that football brought into his life.
As he navigated the familiar streets, Erling pondered the unique bonds that the sport created. Despite the rivalries and competition on the pitch, there existed a deep sense of respect and friendship among players, transcending club loyalties and national borders.
Arriving back home, Erling stepped out of the car and took a moment to absorb the peacefulness of his surroundings. He reflected on the experiences of the day, grateful for the laughter, the camaraderie, and the lighthearted moments that had defined it.
Erling realized that beyond the allure of transfer rumors and club rivalries, it was the connections with fellow players and the shared love for the game that truly mattered. Whether as teammates, rivals, or even friends, these bonds formed the foundation of a journey that extended far beyond the boundaries of a single match or season.
With a contented sigh, Erling stepped through the front door, ready to savor the quiet moments of solitude, allowing the memories of the day to settle and become cherished parts of his footballing tale.
But as Erling entered his home, expecting the quiet moment of solitude, the unexpected sight of Thomas Muller sitting on his couch with a beer bottle in hand caught him off guard. His father, Alfie, appeared equally surprised, his expression mirroring Erling's bewilderment.
Erling couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, puzzled by the presence of both Thomas and the beer bottle. He knew there was no beer in his house, making the situation all the more weird . However, before Thomas could even utter a word, Erling decided to retreat upstairs to his room.
With a sense of exhaustion and a need for respite, Erling climbed onto his bed, allowing the events of the day to wash over him. The weariness seeped into his bones, prompting him to succumb to sleep's comforting embrace.
As sleep enveloped him, Erling's mind wandered through the dreamscape, the chaotic encounters and amusing conversations blending into a surreal tapestry. The image of Thomas Muller's bewildered expression lingered briefly before fading away into the depths of his slumber.
Unbeknownst to Erling, Thomas Muller sat on the couch downstairs, his own confusion evident on his face. He glanced at Alfie, attempting to make sense of the unexpected turn of events. Left perplexed and unable to recruit Erling as he had intended, Thomas simply shrugged and took a sip of his beer, pondering the mysteries of life.
Meanwhile, Erling slept soundly, his dreams untangling the intricacies of the day, providing a respite from the whimsical madness that had unfolded. In his dreams, the boundaries between reality and fantasy blurred, leaving him with a sense of peace and rejuvenation.
And as Erling drifted further into the depths of sleep, the quietude of his room enveloped him, dreams embracing him.
It might just be 4 pm but.. can you blame him?
This day has been weird.
