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Patrick Jane never liked to rush. He liked to draw everything out as long as he he could. Everyone knew that about him, and usually they thought he liked watching his tricks and schemes play out for as long as possible. Others would think he took so long to plan things out as to account for every sort of issue, carefully and patiently waiting for the right moment as to ensure his cunning plan’s success. Of course, most of that was true, though the reality of the matter was Patrick always hated endings. He hated watching good things die when they could’ve been easily saved by just a little patience. Some would say 8 years is a long time to wait, but for Patrick he was just moving in place.
When Angela died, it felt like time stopped. No matter what he did, where he went, or who he met, the clock wouldn’t start again. From days, to weeks, to months, and eventually years. His petty game of “Revenge” lasted longer than he thought it would. If he was being honest, he never expected to actually find Red John. The real reason he decided to join the CBI was he knew that if he continued down the path he was on, he’d end up worse off than where he began. He needed something to keep him occupied. And again, he hated endings.
When he killed Timothy Mcarter, the question Teresa asked him in the car lingered in his mind.
“What next?”
He wasn’t sure. The only thing he knew was when he finally got his hands on the man who ruined his life, he would be patient.
After Red John died he just felt empty. He was no longer moving in place, but he had nowhere to go. Without the need for revenge Patrick really had no purpose. He hated that feeling more than anything. He was the kind of man who needed to be purposeful. Before he knew it, she came along and gave him a purpose greater than any before.
He felt stupid. She was right infront of him the whole time. His vision was clouded by red thoughts penetrating his mind at every moment. Once he cleared them away, he could finally see that she was exactly what he needed. She was gentle, loving, and kind. She was patient, she knew how hard it was for him to let go.
The talk they had by the house, about his ring. He takes it off each night and puts it on the night stand. It gets easier each day. Before it felt like he had to pry the cold metal off his hand. He felt it scream at him, telling him if he did this he would be betraying her. He would forget about her, forget what he did. He could feel the silver and gold haunt his dreams. It tormented him throughout the night constantly reminding him what he did to deserve a wedding band without a wife.
When the light comes streaming through his window in the morning and the darkness fades, he sees the bright side of the ring. He sees his daughter, smiling at him through the reflection. He sees Teresa, berating him about something stupid he did on the job. But most of all, he sees Angela. Her kind smile. It looks exactly like Teresa’s, sparkling in the first light of the morning, the promise of a new day. And it was that morning he got up and instead of putting on the ring like usual, he left it there. He looked back as he left the room, and felt calm. He knew that he would come back that night and it would be exactly where he left it. The reflection of his wife and daughter would still be waiting for him, smiling. Just like he never lost them.
He goes to work that day with the signature grin, but he looks extra chipper. Teresa walks over to his spot on the couch and sits next to him.
“You look happy.” She smiles, leaning her head against his shoulder.
Patrick looks down at his hands, at the slightly paler spot where his wedding ring used to sit. Teresa looks confused but spots the difference very quickly.
“You took it off? Where?” She questions.
“On the night stand.” Patrick smiles.
“You know you didn’t have to right? I know how much it means to you.”
“I wanted to, trust me.”
Patrick takes a drink of tea from the patchwork mug, the greatest gift he’s ever gotten.
Actually, that’s a lie. His greatest gift is sitting at home on an IKEA night stand. The sun is shining on the smooth metal. And it will sit there for a long time. Soon, Patrick will give Teresa a gift just as great. It’s sitting in his left coat pocket now. He can feel the outline of the box as he gently traces it with his hand. He’s almost giddy, excitement bubbling up inside of him as the day goes on. He can’t wait to give it to her and promise her a new day, just like the morning sun.