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1.
Goro Akechi hates Akira Kurusu.
That’s why he felt so drawn to him.
Even during their first official interaction, he was a cheeky, arrogant asshole.
When he first laid his eyes on Akira, he could tell there was something off about him. But he wasn’t quite able to place it until their first official exchange at the TV station. His unruly black hair and unassuming glasses would seem painfully average to most people. But something about him piqued Goro’s interest.
He figured it out the second Akira opened his mouth.
“Hypothetically speaking, what are your thoughts on these phantom thieves, if they were real?”
There was a brief pause while he thought of his answer.
“They’re justice itself.” He spoke so highly of them, despite having absolutely no knowledge besides the Kamoshida and Madarame incidents.
Bingo.
Goro let out a genuine laugh, although for different reasons than anticipated. “Ah, I wasn’t expecting such a strong answer.” He smiled politely, but his thoughts weren’t so kind.
‘That boy is so unbelievably arrogant. I bet he wouldn’t look so smug when I point a gun to his temple.’
The TV host noted how opposing their views were, and Goro gave a vague acknowledgement. He no longer cared for this interaction, he just needed a moment alone with Akira. He’s known him for less than a day, and he’s already celebrating Akira’s future death.
When he finished filming, it was purely a coincidence that he bumped into Akira. How entertaining, He thought. He supposed now was a better time than ever.
“Oh, it’s you!” He feigned a sense of shock, and walked over to Akira. “I’m glad I found you. I wanted to thank you in person.” He gave Akira another polite smile, along with a small chuckle.
“To paraphrase Hegel, advancement cannot occur without both thesis and antithesis.” Akira cocked his head in confusion, and Goro fought back the urge to bash Akira’s head against the wall. He definitely didn’t expect the leader of the Phantom Thieves to understand a reference to historical German literature, but that doesn’t mean it agitated Goro any less.
“Ah, my apologies.” He bit his tongue, per usual. “What I mean is that our discussion was quite meaningful. Few people around me are so willing to speak their minds as freely as you did earlier.” Goro said truthfully. Hearing such an honest statement was certainly a nice change of pace, even with such an opposing argument. Akira simply nodded in understanding.
He was a man of few words, and that infuriated Goro even more. How was the leader of the Phantom Thieves so bland and unassuming, yet at the same time so bold and charming? He was a contradiction, exactly like Goro. That made him hate Akira even more.
—
2.
Goro Akechi hates Akira Kurusu.
That’s why he frequently hangs out with him during the little freetime he has. They were rivals. Although, maybe that wasn’t entirely true. Being rivals implies that you’re both on the same playing field, but Akira had no idea Goro was counting down the days until he shot him square in the face.
He has to admit, it was certainly nice to pretend they were rivals. Like he wasn’t just Shido’s puppet, having no will of his own—
That’s a train of thought Goro doesn’t want to go down right now.
Currently, Goro was absolutely annihilating Akira at pool. Which is no surprise, considering he’s still exceptionally skilled with his non-dominant hand. He remembers their very first match, when Akira had pointed out he was playing with his right-hand. He was surprised he noticed, but he guessed his rival paid as much attention to him like he did with Akira.
… He had to pay attention to him. Akira had proven himself quite capable, if he didn’t notice something and he slipped up, Akira would surely take advantage of that.
But Goro remembers how the observation made him feel. It was quite annoying. It made his heart stutter and his stomach twist unpleasantly, it made him want to poke Akira’s eyes out with the cue stick—
He shook away that train of thought as well, and focused on the game. As mentioned before, Akira adapted quite quickly. It pissed Goro off. It seemed like Akira was able to adapt to everything, it wasn’t fair. He was expelled and put on probation because of something that wasn’t even his fault (he may have dug into Akira’s files a little. It only made sense, he needed to get information on his target.), yet he was still making the best out of his situation. He had presumably only had access to the metaverse since his arrival in Tokyo, but he’s already changed the hearts of three people.
How is that fair?
Goro’s had access to the metaverse since he was sixteen, yet all he’s done is cause mental shutdowns for his bastard Father.
He grit his teeth with anger, before turning his head to Akira and smiling again.
“Well, it seems I’ve won again. I have to be more careful though, you’re improving much faster than I anticipated you would.”
Akira simply smiled and flashed a smug smirk, it made Goro’s stomach flip.
For a moment, he thought about ambushing him in mementos and pressing a dagger against his throat. The thought was oddly appealing.
“I told you not to underestimate me, Mr. detective.” Goro took note of the way his lips parted when—
He shook his head to rid that train of thought.
—
3.
Goro Akechi hates Akira Kurusu.
So he isn’t so sure why he wants to open up to him so bad.
Goro’s never told anyone about his Mother. About his shitty childhood, about the neglect he faced in foster care. He’s never had a desire to. Yet, he spends one night with Akira in the bathhouse, and it all comes tumbling at his mouth.
He never expected to tell anyone. Especially not the man he was going to kill in a few months.
Goro was really starting to regret this turn of events.
He was leaning against the bath walls, staring at Akira. For a moment, he felt like a child again, grasping for straws at any approval he could grab onto—
“I suppose you’re the first person I’ve told about this. I’m a bastard child who wasn’t supposed to be alive, and now I’m here at the cost of my mother’s life.” He rambled on, finding that his mouth wouldn’t shut.
Logically, he knew this was a horrible idea. Opening up about his trauma to his greatest enemy would do no good, but he’s in too deep now. He can’t stop. Even if he wanted to. Oddly enough, he doesn’t, yet that thought was quickly pushed deep down.
“I wish nothing more than to see that man suffer,” Goro admitted out loud, possibly for the first time. As he continued, he noticed the sympathetic look forming on Akira’s face.
It made him want to wrap his arms around his throat and choke him to death.
It made him want to cry.
“Akechi..” Hearing his voice in that empathetic tone made it even worse. He shook his head, pushing the sympathy away. “Ah, it’s quite alright. It’s all in the past now, is it not?”
Akira scoots a little close. Dangerously close, considering the circumstances. “It might be in the past but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”
…Fuck, was the only thing Goro could think at the moment. That was the closest he’s been to being completely vulnerable. And Akira didn’t push him away, or express any disgust. He was concerned. He showed actual care towards him.
He felt nauseous.
Why was Akira so perfect? It made his heart squeeze and his stomach churn.
It made him think about another universe where they met a few years earlier, where Goro opened up about his past. It made him think about Akira grabbing his hand and holding it tight, and telling him he—
Goro backed away from him. “It’s fine, Kurusu. I assure you, I’m quite over it now. Ah… Actually, are you alright? You look quite red, and I know some people faint easily in these bath-houses.”
He changed the subject before he gave himself another reason to hate Akira.
—
4.
Goro Akechi hates Akira Kurusu.
And he just told him that directly to his face.
And he didn’t even look surprised.
That made him even angrier.
“Your deft handling of your unfortunate circumstances, your uniqueness, your ability to surpass me— all of these irritate me.” He honestly had no clue why he was telling him all this. Akira just had that effect on him, he supposed. That irritated him the most.
“…You’re the one person I refuse to lose to.” The tone of his voice was blurring between calm and charismatic to bitter and hateful. He didn’t care.
He respected Akira enough to at least be a little honest with him before his death.
Akira nodded his head in agreement. “Same here.” Did he know he hated him? How did he know? If he thought they were friends this whole time, why was he so unphased by the idea of Goro hating him?
He bit his tongue, holding back all of the vulgar things he wanted to say.
He should’ve shot him in Mementos while he had the chance.
“You really are—“ He paused, and shook his head. “No, Nevermind.” He stared Akira dead in the eyes, pointedly ignoring the shiver that ran down his spine at the eye contact.
“I’ll let you have this win today— but next time, I will be victorious.” Akira had no idea what he was planning. No matter how adaptable he may be, there was no way he would save himself.
“Let this be my proof.”
He removed his glove, and threw it at Akira dramatically. Akira held it close to his heart. If the sight made Goro’s stomach squirm, he would never admit to it.
“There’s a tradition in the West to throw one’s glove at their opponent when demanding a duel. Should the opponent accept the glove, the duel is also accepted.” Akira was quiet for a moment, and Goro waited for his response. “… I accept.”
It was so pathetic that it almost made him laugh. “Make certain that you never forget: I am the one who will defeat you.”
He didn’t understand how true those words were yet. But he would soon enough.
Thinking about it made Goro feel nauseous.
“Ah, look at the time,” He swiftly changed the subject, dawning his princely personality again. The tone of his voice changed like the flip of a dime. “Let’s call it a day for now.”
Akira nodded his head in understanding, just like he always did. It made Goro’s head spin.
“Alright. See you later, Akechi.” Despite everything, he smiled at him. A true, genuine smile. Goro of all people would know what a fake one looks like. Why was he smiling at him after Goro told him he hated his guts?
He felt his heart skip a beat, before quickly hammering inside his chest to make up for the falter.
Goddammit.
—
5.
Goro Akechi hates Akira Kurusu.
He stood in front of the Thieves, the real him. Not the bullshit facade that was the Detective Prince. He stood in front of them as the broken, lonely teenage boy who just wanted to be loved. Yet only Joker knew the full truth. Of fucking course he did. He always saw through him.
The Phantom Thieves stood in front of him, trying to convince him to join them. Fucking pathetic. He had to kill them, if he didn’t then every single action for the past two years would be for nothing. His betrayal towards Joker would be for nothing.
Morgana was the next one to step up close to him, ears flat against his head.
“And… You don’t really hate Joker, do you? That smile, before we fought… Isn’t that how you really feel?”
…No.
No no no no no—
He hated him. He’s always hated him, from the second he laid his eyes on him—
But—
No.
Because if he didn’t hate him, there was only one other explanation for the squirming in his stomach whenever he saw him, or the way his heart hammered in his chest whenever their hands accidentally brushed against each other.
And he wasn’t going to let that happen. Not now.
Out of all people, how was that cat able to see through him?
“Follow your true feelings!” That damn cat didn’t know how to shut his mouth. Goro’s fists balled up against the floor, and he started shaking. “Even if you think people hate you or don't want you around, that’s—“
He slammed his fists against the ground and screamed as loud as he could. “Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP—!” He wasn’t going to let them win. He can’t let them win. He has to kill them, he has to kill Shido, he—
“Teammates!? Friends!? To hell with that—! Why am I inferior to you!? I was extremely particular about my life, my grades, my public image— So someone would want me around!” He hated how Joker had this ability to make him spill all of his thoughts.
It wasn’t fair.
“I’m an ace detective… A celebrity—!” Noir’s eyes softened. “Akechi-kun…” Goro shook his head and laughed pathetically. “But you.” His eyes narrowed at Joker. “You’re just some criminal trash living in an attic, so how!? How does someone like you have things I don’t!? How can such a worthless piece of trash be more special than me-!?”
Goro sounded like a child throwing a temper tantrum. He didn’t even fucking care anymore.
Everything after then was a blur. He remembers showing his true self, his real power. He unleashed Loki, and he used everything he had. And they still beat him.
Godammit. This was all Joker’s fault. If he wasn’t here, he would’ve won. He wouldn’t have had to see the pitiful look on his face as he watched Goro rip himself apart from the inside out.
His resentment towards the boy doesn’t matter anymore. The only thing that matters is that he lost. He lost and now the Phantom Thieves are going to kill him, because it’s what he deserves for attempting to kill their leader. It’s what he deserves for killing Wakaba Ishiki and Kunikazu Okumura, and several others.
But that’s not what happened.
Ryuji was the first one to speak. “You ready to call it quits?” He hated the pity in his tone. He absolutely despised it. It made him feel like crying, which in turn, made him feel like a pathetic child. “I know…” His voice was shaky and weak. “I’ve had enough.” He looked up and turned his attention to Akira.
“You’re so lucky.” Uttering the words made his stomach twist. It was admitting he was jealous of Akira, that he had been this entire time. It was admitting defeat.
His head spun the more he thought about it. Akira had everything he wanted, but couldn’t have. Everyone gravitated towards him, and he was so kind to everyone, regardless of what you’ve done to him. He had the ability to make Goro feel things he’s never even come close to feeling, the ability to make Goro want, the ability to make his stomach flip and his heart squeeze—
“Lucky to be surrounded… By teammates who acknowledge you.” Akira gave him that look again. The look he gave him while he was pouring his heart out about his home life, the look during their secret fight in Mementos, the look in the interrogation room—
He hated it more than anything.
“And once Shido confesses his crimes, you’ll all be heroes. As for me, people will find out my past deductions were just charade. My fame and trust will vanish.”
The one thing Goro wanted his whole life was about to be ripped away from him, and he had nobody to blame but himself.
—
+ 1.
When Maruki called him out, Goro had stepped inside Leblanc. Both Morgana and Akira seemed shocked as he closed the door behind him. Morgana was the first to speak up. “Akechi—!”
“…You caught me.”
“Oh, it was just a hunch. This issue doesn’t only affect you, Kurusu-kun. Akechi-kun, this involves you, too.”
Goro watched the look of confusion form on Akira’s face. He knew what was coming. He knew Maruki would tell him as a last ditch effort to get him to change his mind. That didn’t stop his stomach from churning with anxiety.
“Me and Akechi?”
Goro felt his hands ball up into fists, and if he wasn’t wearing gloves, his fingernails would’ve most certainly been digging into his skin.
If he was being honest with himself, for the first time in his entire life, he doesn’t hate Akira. He’s never hated akira, no matter how much he tried to convince himself he did. In fact, that was the complete opposite of how he felt. He wasn’t stupid, he’s always known there was a reason why he felt so connected to him.
But due to their circumstances, he’d never let himself feel it. Even after his… disappearance in Shido’s Palace, he was faced with the fact that he was a puppet being controlled by a self-righteous prick.
His… feelings toward Akira would only make their circumstances more complicated. He couldn’t wouldn’t let himself feel it.
Morgana seemed just as perplexed, as well. “What do these two have to do with..?”
“The relationship you two share is very unusual.” Goro scoffed at the sentiment. Maruki had no idea what was between the two of them, no matter how smug he seemed. “A detective, and a phantom thief. Despite being enemies, your relationship isn’t based on hatred or ill will. That’s why I found it so tragic when Kurusu-kun told me what happened in Shido’s Palace.”
He pried his gaze from Maruki to glance at Akira. It seemed like he was recounting Goro’s last moments, because his face was scrunched up in an unpleasant way.
Maruki spoke up, and snapped Akira out of his short lived spiral. “Say, Kurusu-kun. Didn’t you regret how things ended with him?”
He watched Akira’s eyes flicker with something he couldn't quite place. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to, so he looked away just as quickly as he had glanced over at him.
“You two came to a deep understanding of one another—“ That was an understatement, Goro thought. Akira was the only person who understood him, even under all the lies.
“Yet you had no choice but to leave Akechi-kun to his fate. That’s why I created a reality where you two could have a fresh start together.”
Goro squeezed his eyes shut, before reluctantly opening them to look at Akira. Akira, who had become close with Goro, no matter how hard he tried to push him away. Akira, who Goro couldn’t help but be vulnerable with.
Akira, who understood him more than anyone else did. Akira, who Goro understood more than any of his Thief friends. Akira, who quite literally wished Goro back into existence.
Akira, who Goro loved.
His eyes were wide and dark, filled with an expression that Goro had never seen him with before, even before he was about to be shot. Hopelessness. Akira’s face turned pale, and his eyebrows furrowed together in shock.
Goro felt his heart shatter in his chest.
Morgana meowed in concern. “That would mean, the Akechi in the real world is…” He trailed off, looking at Akira with worry. “You get what I’m saying?” Maruki gave Akira a look of sympathy.
“I genuinely didn’t want to tell you like this. I didn’t want to make it seem like I’m holding him hostage…”
Goro scowled, and bit on his lip. Bullshit. If that wasn’t his goal, he wouldn’t have told Akira at all.
“But no matter what you may think of me, I just want you all to accept this reality and move on with your happy lives.”
Goro’s had enough of his self-righteous bullshit. He let himself fantasize about bashing Maruki’s head against the booth table. “… And that matters how, exactly?” He squinted his eyes in disapproval as he looked at Maruki. “Don’t tell me you think dangling my life before us is going to have any impact on our decision.” But, he knew it wasn’t really their decision. It was Akira’s.
Akira had opened his mouth, before closing it again. He looked up at Goro, and the sight made his stomach lurch. He looked heartbroken. He’s never seen that look on Akira before. He hated it. “…You knew?”
“…Well, I lacked conclusive evidence… But after I fought against you all, I had a gap in my memory that ended with meeting up with Akira again. There were also the cases of Wakaba Ishiki and President Okumura… Of course I’d find all of that suspicious.”
“I see…” Maruki truly didn’t think Goro would realize. What a fool. “‘You think dangling my life before us is going to impact our decision?’ That’s what Akechi-kun said a moment ago. If that’s how you see it at this point, I’m fine with it… But I’m still going to ask you, one last time: Will you accept the reality I create for you? You were the guiding light for my research. You showed me the way so I could make my dream into a reality.”
Goro wanted to wipe that appreciative look off his face and tackle him against the floor and strangle him.
“I have nothing but gratitude for you— not a single ounce of ill will. That’s why I wanted you of all people to understand…”
Fuck him. Absolutely fuck him. Whether or not he was doing it intentionally, he was guilt tripping Akira and Goro knew he would take it to heart. He knew it would make Akira second guess himself, and he hated that.
Maruki stood up from his seat, looking Akira in the eye. “Perhaps I shouldn’t ask you for an answer on the spot like that. I’ll be going now.”
With the most monotone voice Goro’s ever heard come out of Akira’s mouth, he spoke.
“You forgot something.” He grabbed a calling card from his shirt pocket, and threw it towards Maruki.
Maruki grabbed the card, and nodded in acknowledgment. “Ah, that’s right. I’ve heard your calling.”
He walked to the door, and right before he walked out— He turned back to face them. “And, about my question— Let’s do this… I’ll be waiting in the Palace tomorrow, just as I promised. If you still haven’t changed your mind by then, we’ll meet there. But if you don’t show, I’ll take that to mean you’ve accepted my reality… See you.” And with that, Maruki left Leblanc.
Morgana placed his paw on top of Akira’s hand, seemingly trying to comfort him. Goro watched as he tensed. “…What are you gonna do?”
Goro cleared his throat, interrupting him. “… I’d like to speak with Akira.”
They both looked up at him, but Goro pointedly ignored Akira’s stare.
“Akechi..” Morgana’s eyes turned remorseful, and he nodded. “… Gotcha. I’ll leave the decision up to you, Akira— Let me know when you’ve reached an answer.”
Goro watched as Morgana scampered upstairs, but he could feel Akira looking at him. He felt vaguely nauseous, waiting for him to speak up. Akira is looking at the floor, as well as Goro. It’s clear Akira isn’t going to talk, so he speaks up.
“…I will carve my own path for myself. I refuse to accept a reality concocted by someone else, stuck under their control for the rest of my days.”
Akira finally looked up at him, and Goro looked back. “But, you’ll—“ Something in Goro snapped. He scoffed, and rolled his eyes. Why did Akira care so much? He tried to murder him, twice. Then, he remembered that Akira Kurusu is a saint. “So what? That’s the path I chose. All you have to do is stick to your guns, and challenge Maruki. Or, are you really so spineless that you’d fold over some bullshit, trivial threat on my life?”
Akira looked wrecked. He was shaking.
Goro wanted to pull him close and hold him forever.
“Don’t oversimplify this.” His normally confident, smooth voice was quiet and unsure. Goro hated him for questioning this. He hated him for making this hard, when it would’ve been such an easy choice if he didn’t know Akira.
“Oh, but it is simple. Do you think I’d be happy with this? Being shown mercy now, of all times?” How could he be, when he knew he didn’t deserve it?
He’s killed countless people just to get revenge on his bastard of a father. There’s only two murders he actually regrets, the rest he couldn’t care less about.
He’s become so numb to it that he didn’t feel anything when he murdered someone. That was before the interrogation room, before he shot Akira—
People like him don’t deserve mercy.
“I don’t want to be pitied— This isn’t something I’m debating with you—!” He was interrupted by Akira finally speaking up for the first time since he realized the truth.
“You think I’m pitying you—!?”
For the first time tonight, he looked Akira in the eyes. He looked broken, and nothing like the strong, capable Akira he knew. He looked fragile, like he might break at any second. He looked worse than he did in the interrogation room, after being beaten and tossed around and drugged.
“I’m not going to accept his reality. Not when I pried it away from my friends. It isn’t fair to them. It isn’t fair to you. But this—“ His voice cracked, and he balled his hands into a fist.
“This isn’t an easy decision to make. It’s our only option, but that doesn’t mean that I—“ Akira paused, and stepped closer to Goro.
“I can’t watch you die again.” I can’t lose you again, Goro understood was unspoken.
Oh.
Now that Akira was closer, he saw the tears streaming down his face. He was crying. Goro’s never seen him look so vulnerable before, and he shot him in the face.
He doesn’t know how he didn’t realize it sooner. He doesn’t know how it took Akira bawling his eyes out for him to realize.
He means just as much to Akira as Akira means to him.
Without thinking, Goro grabbed Akira by the collar of his uniform and kissed him.
Akira’s eyes went wide, but after a few moments, he kissed back. Goro could feel his heart pound in his ears as Akira gently nudged him against the counter, and caressed his face with his hand.
He pulled back, and immediately noticed the flipping in his stomach. He noticed the way his lips tingled, and the way he was panting for air.
Shit.
Akira stared at him with wide eyes and flushed cheeks, lips slightly parted. Goro entertained the thought of walking into the kitchen and sticking his head inside the oven, or dunking his head into boiling hot water.
“…You kissed me.” Akira sounded just as breathless as he felt. Goro rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, avoiding eye contact at any cost. “I only kissed you to shut you up..” He knew Akira could see right through him. He hated it.
“So if I asked to kiss you again you’d say no?”
He pushed Akira away from him, biting down on his lip. “You’re insufferable.” He dodged the question. He knew this wasn’t a good idea. He couldn’t let Akira get more attached than he already was, he couldn’t let him changed his mind—
He couldn’t let himself get too attached.
“Is that a no?” He knows the answer, that insufferable little shit, Goro thought. Of course it isn’t a no. “You’ve got to be kidding me..” He mumbled under his breath, as he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.
“Just kiss me.”
The smile that formed on his face made Goro’s knees feel weak. He nodded enthusiastically. “Yes sir!” He teased him, and God, Goro wanted to kiss that smug smile off his face—
Akira had wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in by the waist, which admittedly made Goro feel a bit dizzy. He wrapped his arms around Akira’s neck and grabbed onto his hair, trying to feel as close as possible.
He’s never kissed anyone, so he was sure that it was a horrible kiss. That didn’t stop the warmth in his chest, and clearly it wasn’t stopping Akira.
When they parted, Goro’s knees felt even weaker than before.
Once again, the kiss had settled in Goro’s mind.
“This is a horrible idea.” He never should’ve kissed him. Akira always had a way of making him want, despite everything in the universe pitting them against each other.
“When have I ever made good decisions?” He had countered, not yet taking his arms away from Goro’s waist.
“Don’t let this cloud your judgment, Akira.” His grip on Akira’s hair tightened. “…It doesn’t make sense.” Goro furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. What didn’t make sense? How was this related to their conversation at all? He didn’t have to ask, because Akira continued.
“If you were truly just the results of my wish, shouldn’t you have dissapeared, just like Wakaba and Okumura?”
Goro hummed. That was… True, he supposed. “Hm. It may be that your wish was stronger than Okumura’s or Sakura’s.” It was a flimsy explanation at best, but it was all Goro had. Akira was right.
Now that he was aware that Goro was just his cognition, he shouldn’t be here right now. But what other explanation was there?
“Although, you shouldn’t get your hopes up just because of… This.” He muttered through hissed teeth.
“I… I won’t.” Akira had spoken reluctantly. He squeezed Goro tighter. “Since… This might be our last time alone, would you want to stay the night?” Akira was smiling, but Goro could tell how nervous he was.
Maybe he should allow Akira to be selfish, just this once. Maybe he should let himself be selfish as well. They could be normal teenagers for once, with no strings attached. No Gods, No maruki, just two broken teenagers who understand each other more than anyone else does.
“…I’d like that, Akira.” His lips twitched into a smile, and Akira was beaming. For once, he didn’t even mind the way his heart squeezed at the sight.
“I’d like that too, Goro.”