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Teresa Lisbon knew better than to pry. She knew if she hounded him for information he didn’t want to tell, she wouldn’t get anywhere. She also cared enough about him to not force him to talk about anything he didn’t want to. That didn’t stop her curiosity, though.
She found herself wondering late at night, the sound of his even breathing beside her, what she was like. Charlotte, whom being. She’s seen pictures of course. She had long, golden hair. Just like Jane’s. Hazel eyes, pale skin. All material things she knew from the case file. She still wondered what she was really like. Then again, she knew better than to pry. Seldom as they were, there were times when he did tell her things.
One evening, they were sat outside the half built house. Comfortable silence filled the air as Patrick drank hot tea from his patchwork cup and Teresa sipped iced tea from a tall glass more appropriate for the warm weather. He set the tea cup down with a great gentleness as if he would somehow reopen the sealed cracks if he wasn’t too careful.
She looked up at him. He had that look in his eye, the distant far off look. She could tell he was thinking about something. Something that’s hard to think about. She gently set her glass down and took his hand from across the table, interlocking their fingers. She felt him relax immediately at her touch. It made her smile. He looked down and smiled too.
“What’s the matter?” She asked. His breath hitched.
“Nothing really.” He looked up and blinked, shaking the distant look in his eyes away.
“Oh come on. Whatever it is, you can tell me.” As she spoke she gently smoothed her fingers over the cold metal of his wedding band. He shuddered.
She looked down and saw what she was doing and immediately stopped.
“Oh.” She thought. He has moments every now and again where she can tell he’s thinking of them.
It never bothers her like you’d think it would. She’s never jealous, never annoyed. She knows they were his world. She knows they still are, in a way. She also knows that now she’s a part of his world. And she can be okay sharing it. The thing that bothers her when he does this is he usually just brushes it off. Whatever it is he’s thinking of, he never says it. It leaves her wondering.
“You remind me of her sometimes.” He said.
Teresa was caught off guard.
“Who, Angela?” She asked curiously.
“No. Charlotte.” He let go of her hand to take another drink of his tea.
“Oh really? How so?” She tried not to sound too excited about this out of character conversation.
Silence fell again for a moment. Jane set his tea cup down and looked up at Lisbon. He put his hand up to trace the outline of her jaw, his thumb gently caressing below her lip. She couldn’t help but smile. All she felt was warm. Warm from the sun, and warm from his love.
“Did I ever tell you her middle name? Anne. Charlotte Anne.” He spoke, letting his hand fall back down to the table and be held in Teresa’s.
“Charlotte Anne, it’s beautiful.” She said softly. She leaned onto the table to stare into his eyes. They had a softness to them. She found his gaze went soft when he talked about Charlotte.
“Yes. Yes it was.”
He suddenly got up. He bumped the table and his tea cup spilled over onto the white floral cloth. She watched him jerk away.
She let the tea soak into the tablecloth and got up to hold him. She grabbed his hand gently. He softened. The sun beat down on them. Her thumb gently rubbed circles into his palm.
“It’s okay.” She whispered.
He pulled away.
“Hm?” He questioned.
“It’s okay to miss them.” She spoke. She noticed he was holding his breath.
“Oh, I know.” He replied. She shook her head.
She stepped closer and took his hand again.
“It’s okay.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him in. He sighed. She felt his chest rise and fall against her own. In that moment, everything was right.
When they were laying in bed that night, long after Patrick fell asleep, she found herself wondering again. She wondered if he ever would be “okay”. She turned over and interlocked her fingers with his. Charlotte Anne, she thought. The name sure did have a ring to it.