Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You weren’t supposed to be here.

You hadn’t meant to cause trouble for your aunt. She had to drive all the way to the small city you’d been living in for the past couple years to come pick you up. She insisted. You waited, bouncing your foot while staring at the concrete sidewalk outside your former apartment. Fortunately for you, your lease was up at the end of the month, so you didn’t have to worry about paying rent on it while you were in Pelican Town. It sounded like it was going to be a semi-permanent stay. You weren’t even sure where else you’d go.

“Sam is so excited to see you. It’s been too long.” Jodi smiles sweetly as she keeps her eyes on the road ahead. You stared out the window to watch rolling green hills and distant mountains flew past. “Vincent is also eager to meet you.” This brings you out of your daydream.

“Vincent?”

“Your younger cousin. He’s only six.” Jodi beams. “He’s a sweet boy, I think you’ll get along with him very well. Him and Sam are very close.”

“Right.” You return to staring out the window, leaning your cheek in your hand propped up on the door. The drive back is nearly silent save for the sound of the car and the radio. It’s about a two and a half hour drive, and you even pass Zuzu City. You sigh at the towering skyscrapers and various buildings in the skyline, and shut your eyes to tune out all the memories flooding back to your mind.

Time flies, and soon you are pulling into Pelican Town. It had been nearly a decade since you’d last visited. Now it was going to be your new home for an indefinite amount of time. The instant that Jodi shuts off the engine, the back door of her home flies open. “Mama!” A small young boy with messy ginger hair bursts out the door, followed by a young blonde man you recognize as your cousin, Sam. Jodi sees you trying to unload some of your belongings, and she gently tugs your arm to lead you to the house where the boys are standing.

“Hello, sweetie. Vincent, this is your older cousin, Y/N.” She introduces, and you kneel down to his level, holding out a hand for a high five.

“Hi, Vincent.” The boy stares at you with wide curious eyes as he ponders your sudden appearance. After a little too long of staring, he suddenly smiles and accepts your high five and tackles you in a hug.

“Sam told me how you used to play with him when he was a kid. Will you play with me too?”

A smile tugs at the corners of your lips. “Of course, buddy.” He jumps excitedly and takes your hand to go show off his bedroom. His older brother has to stop him so he can get his hugs in. Little Vince lets go of your hand, begrudgingly, and Sam wraps you in a big bear hug; just like he used to when you were kids. He doesn’t let go until you gently push him back. “Hey, Sammy.” You smile weakly, trying your hardest to hold back any tears that are starting to build up into your eyes.

“It’s really good to see you again, Y/N. We missed you.” Vincent grabs your hand again, impatiently waiting for you to stop talking to his brother. Sam notices and ruffles his hair. “Alright, buddy. Let’s go show Y/N your room. You know that used to be her room when she’d visit?”

“I hope you’ve been taking care of it for me.” You let the young boy lead the way.

After Vincent shows off all his favorite toys, your Aunt walks into the room, alerting you to her presence with a soft knock on the opened door. “Vincent, why don’t you help your brother and cousin unload her things from the car?” Vincent jumps at the opportunity to help you and darts out the room, leaving you behind with Sam.

He has a warm smile spread across his face and you raise a brow. “I’m glad you’re here, Y/N.” His words tug at your gut, and you stare down at your lap. He most likely meant that he was happy that you were literally here, back in Pelican Town, though you can’t help but sense he means more by these words. “Seb and Abby will be stoked to see you again.”

“They still live here?”

Sam lets out a little chuckle. “Yeah, they never left.” He stands up and offers a hand to help you to your feet. The two of you head out to the car to start unpacking what little belongings you have

Aunt Jodi says that your kitchenware and other miscellaneous items can stay in the totes and go to the attic. “You’re going to stay in Sam’s room for now. We have an air mattress that you can use until we figure out a better living situation for you. Who knows? Maybe we can ask Robin about converting the attic into a bedroom.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind sleeping on the couch. I don’t want to take up your space, Sammy.”

He waves you off. “Don’t worry about it! Just need to move some stuff around and you can make yourself at home.”

Sam had always been such a carefree guy, even when you were kids. Sebastian used to let his teasing and picking on you go a little too far (though he didn’t mean to) and Sam had to reel him in. He was always on your side. He always looked out for you. If there was anyone you needed during this tough time, it was him. You only regret not keeping in touch with your family here in town. The only contact you had was the yearly birthday card, and you had kept every single one they had sent over the years. They were tucked away in your memento box, which didn’t have much, as you didn’t have a lot of memories you wanted to keep.

Maybe it was good that you’d returned to Pelican Town.

You helped Sam move around some small pieces of furniture in his room to make room for your air mattress. You look over to a corner of the room that still has the wood flooring and notice a drum set and an electric keyboard. Even when you were young you knew how much Sam loved music.

“One day, I’m going to be a famous rockstar!” He puffed his chest out while you chowed down on your supper. Aunt Jodi and Uncle Kent chuckle at this display but nod approvingly.

“Oh? Sounds like we might need to look into music lessons.” Jodi glances over to Kent who nods.

“If that’s what Samson wants, we’ll make it happen.” Your uncle looks up from his food to flash you a smile. “What about you, Y/N? Do you want to try out an instrument?”

They were the reason you had gotten into music as a kid. Well, Sam was, really. He dragged you into it, and though you weren’t as gung-ho about it as he was, you did enjoy playing. Sam notices you eyeing the instruments and perks up. “Oh yeah, Seb, Abby, and I jam sometimes. You should come listen to us some time. Do you still play bass?”

You shake your head. “I haven’t played since I was in high school.”

“Aw, that’s okay. Maybe you can pick it back up with us! We could use a bass player.”

The two of you take turns for the next several minutes manually pumping up the air mattress (the electric pump was broken). You take a much needed break in the living room when you’re finished, and Jodi walks out with a tray in her hands. “You kids hungry for lunch? I made some sandwiches. Vincent!” She calls for the boy who comes running from his bedroom. Your aunt sets the tray on the table by the front door. “Sam, why don’t you take Y/N out to walk around town? It’s been years since she’s been here and I’m sure it will be nice to reminisce.”

And you do.

You wanted to stay back and nap, your body already exhausted from all the talking and moving things around, but Vincent insisted. He tags along, begging you for a piggyback ride, and Sam walks you around town. Nothing much has changed; it’s like you never left. There were a couple newcomers, like Sam’s neighbors, Emily and Haley. He said he wasn’t too close to either of the sisters, so he left it at that. Granny Evelyn and George (you always called him Grumpy George) still lived in that house by the saloon, and you noticed an unfamiliar face absentmindedly tossing a gridball up in the air. “That’s Alex.” Sam mutters into your ear. Your eyes widen. He’d grown up so much from the last time you saw him; literally. He was always pretty fit in high school, but now he looked totally different. His baby face totally gone and features more sharp and angled. Alex noticed the three of you and looks like he’s about to let you all walk by, but then double takes to you with a smirk that could only be described as devious on his face.

“Who’s your friend, Sam?”

You can just hear him roll his eyes, and before he can respond Vincent speaks up from your back. “This is our cousin, Y/N!”

The gears in his mind start to turn and his face perks when he seems to remember you. “Oh! You look totally different now.” He wasn’t wrong; the last time you were in the Valley you had dressed as a pretty average teenage girl with various colors as a part of your wardrobe. After you graduated high school and moved out on your own you dressed in all black with different articles of clothing that usually rewarded you with strange stares. Emo. Goth. Whatever label they used, you knew you had a specific look you wanted to maintain that you were unable to do while living with your mother. It was one of the first things you did to help feel liberated from her hold on you. Lately, however, you had just resorted to simple t-shirts and jeans for your wardrobe selections. Dressing up felt like too much work.

“Okay, Alex. See ya.” Sam smiles politely, tugs your arm to keep walking, and you can feel Alex’s eyes bore into the back of your head. “Let’s see what Abby’s up to. She’ll be shocked to see you.” The bell above the door to Pierre’s shop rings, alerting the man behind the counter to your presence.

Nothing really changes around here, because Pierre looks just the same as well. He just looks slightly older is all. He smiles at the three of you. “Good afternoon! Welcome to Pierre’s. This is a new face.” He refers to you and Sam introduces you.

“You remember my cousin Y/N, don’t you?” Pierre squints his eyes, but recognizes you much quicker than Alex did.

“Of course! You and Abigail were so close when you were kids. It’s good to see you again.” You give an awkward tight-lipped smile, not quite sure what else to say, but Pierre continues, saving you from awkward small talk. “Speaking of: Abby’s not here right now. Yoba knows where she is right now.” He rolls his eyes and you can sense a bit of animosity in his tone.

“Darn, we’ll have to catch her another time then. Need anything while we’re here?” He turns to you and you shrug. Toothpaste might be nice, you were picky on what flavor you used. You walk out of the store with a small paper bag with your toothpaste and new toothbrush inside, and Vincent chomping away at a candy bar you purchased for him. “What do you say to the best cousin ever?” Sam gently nudges Vincent, who sways side to side with joy.

“Thank you!”

“Let’s go bother Seb. He’s probably not doing anything right now, he works from home.” Sam leads the way out and up some stairs, towards the Community Center. You are shocked to see its current state. The last time you were here it was bustling with citizens of Pelican Town. Your emotions must’ve been showing on your face, because Sam speaks up. “Sad, right?” Vines had overtaken the exterior, and some were even popping out of holes in the roof. There were some holes in the wood walls, and as you passed by you even caught glimpses of the inside, though you couldn’t see much.

“Jas says there’s ghosts in there. She tried to dare me to go inside by myself but I didn’t want to.” Vincent pipes up and Sam takes the candy bar wrapper from him.

“That’s okay. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, Vincent.” You adjust your grip on him as you feel him slipping more and more as your arms get a little weaker.

“Hey, buddy, why don’t we give Y/N a break from carrying you?”

Vincent frowns with a shake of his head. “I want her to carry me!”

“Vincent…” Sam gives him “the look;” the one that parents give to their kids when they talk back.

“How about I put you down for now, but I’ll carry you all the way back home? How does that sound?” You start to set him down as he thinks hard about your compromise.

“Okay!” He stand between you and his brother and grabs both your hands. This kid makes it so easy to forget why you came to Pelican Town in the first place.

You’re glad that you were able to put Vincent down, because the walk up the mountain path is all uphill. After a couple minutes you see a beautiful house with wood paneling, blue roof, and a light trim in the distance. Above the front door hangs a wooden sign with an image of a saw carved and painted onto it. That must be new. You vaguely remember coming here a few times to hang out with Sam, Sebastian, and Abby when you were kids. You didn’t come here often, though; Sebastian preferred to hang out or play literally anywhere else but his own house. Sam lets himself in, leaving you a little uncomfortable since you’re not used to living in a small town such as this. Little Vincent gently tugs on your arm since he’s getting pulled in two directions.

“Hey Mrs. Carlson. Is Seb home?” Robin looks up from her counter and smiles big at your small adventuring party. She looks just as pretty and young as she did eight years ago. It’s almost like she didn’t age. What was her secret?

“Sam! Vincent! Hello!” She pauses as she gets a good look at you, her eyebrows furrowed and eyes squinting. Her face lights up in recognition after a moment. “Y/N? Oh my goodness sweetie, I almost didn’t recognize you!” She gets up from her stool and walks around the counter to greet you with a hug, which you accept. “You’ve grown up so much since the last time I saw you! I hope you’ve been doing well.”

“Oh, you know…” You shrug with an awkward smile, glancing at Sam who gives you a knowing look followed by an encouraging smile. Before you can say any more, you all hear footsteps coming up the set of stairs that lead to the basement, and a tall and slender young man appears. You know right away it’s Sebastian; even if part of his face was covered by some of his raven hair, you could recognize his face anywhere. He freezes at the top of the stairs at the sight of so many people in the entryway of his home.

“Why didn’t I get an invite to this party?” He mutters and Sam chuckles. Sebastian kneels down to greet Vincent, who’s still holding yours and Sam’s hands. “Hey there, big guy.” He nearly whispers with how gentle he speaks. When he stands back up you’re reminded on just how tall he’s gotten. He flicks his chin upwards at Sam as a greeting who returns it. “Hey.”

“Hey Seb, you remember—”

“Y/N.” You smile awkwardly and feel your hand slightly tighten around Vincent’s. “I’d never forget about you.” He was the first one to recognize you right away; besides your family members. You’d thought for sure that your existence would’ve slipped from his memory. During your high school years you weren’t that close to Sebastian. He had started to keep to himself more, and didn’t even see Sam, his closest and best friend, as often. You could probably count on your hands how many times you’d hung out or even seen him during your final summer in the Valley. “I was about to go outside to—” he glances down at Vincent and chooses his words carefully, “take a very normal break from work. Want to… join me?”

Sam agrees and Sebastian leads the way out to the lake by his house. The leaves from the trees crunched under your feet, indicative of the fall season that was upon the Valley. You’re about to walk off with Vincent to let the two boys talk, but Sam hooks his arm around yours, trapping you in the awkward conversation that you know is about to ensue. I’m just going to make this conversation insufferable… You think to yourself and let go of Vincent’s hand so he can go play on the shore of the lake. “Don’t walk too far, okay, Vince?” Sam calls out and Vince nods while kneeling down on the shore to look into the murky water.

“So…” Seb leans his back against a tree while crossing his arms. You glance down at the floor and see a tin can full of cigarette butts. Well, at least he won’t smoke around a kid. You avoid his expectant gaze. “It’s been forever since I’ve seen you.”

“Since we graduated high school.” You nod slowly.

“What did you end up doing after that summer?” He bites at his lip and taps his foot rapidly, no doubt feeling the effects of his nicotine addiction.

Well, you made the obviously intelligent financial decision any 17 year-old would make; you went to college. It was also the year that you left your mother. You were old enough, legally an adult by the end of your freshman year, so when you returned home after your first year you packed up everything you could and found a cheap apartment to live in near your college. It wasn’t easy. You had to work your ass off to make sure you could support yourself. Fortunately, your college was fully paid for, being a military dependent and all. You only had to keep a roof over your head and get food on the table. Eventually it wasn’t feasible to live alone so you lived with some roommates until you graduated. It was hard, but you did end up graduating with that art degree. Yeah, your mom tried to tell you that it was useless, and not just the degree either.

“I moved out. Went to college for art. Got my degree.” You were hating every second of this conversation. You wanted nothing more than to go home and hide under the covers for the rest of the day.

“Well, that’s better than the two of us; neither of us went to college!” Sam claps Sebastian on his shoulder and he rolls his eyes with a smirk.

“I guess…” You rub your arm and look out to the lake to see what Vincent is up to. While your attention is elsewhere, Seb glances at Sam from the corner of his eyes, raising a brow. Sam slightly widens his eyes as if to say I’ll tell you later. The two boys spend the next couple minutes catching up, and Sam calls Vincent back to you so you can walk back to his house. The small boy bounces back to you all to show you some snails he found by the lake.

“That’s pretty sick, dude.” Sebastian smiles down at him and you give the boy a weak and only half-forced smile.

“Y/N, you said you’d carry me back home!”

“I did, didn’t I?” Your notice the mud all over his hands as well as the snails he still holds carefully. “I won’t carry you unless you’re all clean.” At these words he rushes back to the shore of the lake to wash off all the mud as well as release the snails he captured. Sam takes off after him to help him clean up.

“Y/N?” Sebastian’s still leaned up against his tree and you slowly turn to face him. He takes a deep breath and stuffs his hands in the pocket of his black hoodie. “I-It’s nice to see you again. Really.” You give an awkward nod and as if on cue, Vincent sprints up and tries to clamber on your back before you’re ready.

“Hey!” You let out a yelp and find yourself genuinely laughing for the first time in a very long time.

Chapter Text

“You always put your hair up in a ponytail, Y/N! Why don’t you let me do something different with it?” Abby whines as she wraps her arms around your neck from behind. As a 14 year-old girl, Abby had started to care a little more about her appearance, while you were a “throw on a t-shirt” kind of girl. Abby was always trying to do your hair or try some makeup on you and sometimes you’d let her, other times she’d back off if it was clear you weren’t feeling it.

“Well…”

“C’mon! The Luau’s today, and we should get dolled up!”

“Sure, you can do my hair.” You smile and Abby jumps up with excitement to get her brush and clips.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” Sam catches you exiting his bedroom from the living room couch. You look at the time on your phone.

2:27 PM

You were sleeping in later and later every day. It didn’t help that you stayed up until about four or five in the morning on late night walks across town. “You’re just as bad as Seb. He usually gets up at around this time too.”

“Mornin…” You stretch and plop yourself on the other couch.

“So… mom’s birthday is coming up in a few days. I was thinking we should make a chocolate cake for her.”

Birthdays.

You hadn’t celebrated a birthday in so long. You couldn’t remember the last time you had done anything special for your own birthday. What few friends you had made back home had always tried to get you to come out for your birthday, but you ended up holing up in your apartment. They really tried to help you. You just pushed them away.

“Yeah, we should.”

Sam smiles gently and continues. “Mom’s out getting some groceries right now, but if I ask her to grab ingredients for the cake she’ll catch on to our plan. Let’s head out after she comes home.” In the meantime, Vincent drags you to his room to play with his toys. When you hear the front door shut, you perk up and ask Vincent to come help his mom put away the groceries. After everything is put away Jodi thanks you all for making it go by so much faster than if she’d done it alone. “Y/N and I are going to hang out for a bit. We’ll be back later.” Sam gives a quick kiss on his mom’s cheek before heading for the door.

“I want to come too!” Vincent gets ready to follow you, but you see Sam kneel down in his path.

“Hey, little guy, I have a special mission for you.” He looks up to make sure his mom is out of earshot. Sam’s voice is a low whisper as he explains the plan. “Y/N and I are going to get things to make a cake for mom’s birthday. I need you to make sure that she stays distracted while we’re gone. You have to keep the secret, though.” Vincent’s chest puffs out as he nods firmly.

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t know!” Sam ruffles his hair and stands back up to join you at the front door.

The walk to Pierre’s is quick and you’re greeted like you were yesterday, but the voice is different. It’s more feminine and sounds very bored. Behind the desk you see a young and pretty girl with purple hair dressed in a jean vest decorated with some pins, a black tank top, and a choker necklace.

“Hey, Abby!” Sam waves and she looks up from her phone.

“Oh, it’s just you.” A small smile tugs at the corners of her mouth. “And…?” Her gaze shifts to you, and once she has the chance to look at you longer realization starts to settle in. “Y/N?” You give a little wave and she stands up from the stool she sitting on. She nearly lifts you up with her hug and doesn’t let go for a moment. “It’s been too long, girl! You look good!” She looks you up and down.

“I should be telling you that.”

She had truly grown to be a gorgeous girl. Her makeup was perfect. Her hair was dyed evenly and with a beautiful purple. Her sense of style had definitely shifted just like you, except you could tell that she put a little more effort into her looks than you did. Where you normally would just wear all black and call it a day, she had accessories and an outfit that had more thought behind it.

“How long will you be in town? We need to hang out!”

“She’s actually living here now!” Sam beams and Abby’s eyes widen.

“Awesome! We have so much to catch up on!” Ugh. You didn’t want to talk about your life, you did everything to not think about it everyday. “What are you doing tonight? We should go explore the old farm tonight.” Now that sounds interesting.

Sam is roaming the shop, gathering the ingredients for the chocolate cake while you and Abby chat. “The farm? What happened to it?”

“Oh, the old man that owned it passed away a few years ago so it’s kind of been taken over by nature.” Your stomach dropped. This couldn’t be true. You were hoping that the farm was one of the other things that didn’t change in this town. You had spent your teen years helping out on the farm for some extra gold. The old couple were so sweet and had taught you so much about how to use the land to grow vegetables and flowers, and even take care of some animals. You had learned a lot about hard work during your time with them, and they had sort of become family to you.

“That… sucks.” You look down and rub your arm.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I know how much you loved working there and how close you were with them. Unfortunately, it never went up for sale so no one has come in to restore it.”

“I’d like to come and see it tonight, if that’s okay with you.” You see her nod and notice that Sam has put all the ingredients for the cake in a basket and has placed them on the counter for Abby to ring up. Sam pays for the food and takes the paper bag from the counter, heading to the door to wait for you to finish your conversation.

“I’ll see you tonight, Abby.”

“Wait!” She grabs your wrist before you can get too far. “Let me give you my phone number!” She holds out her hand for you to place your phone in. After putting her phone number in as a new contact, she quickly takes a selfie for the contact photo and returns your phone to you. “Text me when you’re leaving. I’ll meet you at the entrance by the bus stop.” With that she waves and you leave with Sam.

“I already texted Seb. He said we can use his kitchen for when we make the cake so we’re going to take this over there.”

The thought of more interaction with people made your stomach churn, so you speak up. “I’m actually going to head back home. I think Vincent might want to play more.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later, okay?” Sam smiles and watches you walk back towards his house. He turns back to go up towards the Community Center and then up the mountain path. Without knocking he walks in, greets Robin, and walks down to Sebastian’s bedroom. “Seb!” His knuckles rap on the hardwood door and he hears Sebastian’s computer chair roll, then his footsteps coming towards the door.

“Hey.” They go upstairs to put away the groceries. “I let Mom know not to touch this stuff, so it should still be here when you come back for it.”

“Sweet, thanks man.”

“So…” Sebastian starts, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed, “Y/N… is she okay?”

Sam sighs, taking a seat at the dining room table. His smile drops and he shakes his head. “She’s… been through a lot ever since we graduated. It’s not my place to give the details, but it’s some pretty messed up stuff.” Sebastian nods slowly. “I’m trying to get her out of the house as often as I can, but she just wants to go back and lay in bed, or she stays up all night roaming town, I think. She was with me at the store but wanted to go back home…”

“I know all too well what that’s like…” Sebastian averts his eyes to the kitchen wall and rubs his arms. “You just need to keep being there for her, even if she wants to keep pushing you away.”

Sam chuckles lightly. “I know, I had to deal with you, didn’t I?” His best friend rolls his eyes but smiles as he does so. “Don’t worry, I’m not upset. I’m always going to be there for you, Seb. I just want her to know that she’s not alone.”

“Our brains like to convince us of some pretty irrational things. I still find myself thinking some pretty stupid thoughts.” Sebastian rubs the back of his neck.

“Can I ask you a favor?” Sam looks up from his hands on the table and Sebastian’s posture stiffens. “I really want Y/N to have more friends, and I think reconnecting with her could help. Can I ask you to help keep an eye on her?” Sebastian could sense the concern in his friend’s voice. Whatever you were going through he could tell it was serious. “I don’t think she had many friends before she moved here. I—I don’t want her to be alone.”

“Of course, man. I’ll try my best, but, uh, you know how I do with being social.”

“She’s always up really late and you are too, which is why I’m asking. I know you can do it. I think she prefers to text than to talk face to face.”

“That makes two of us.” Sebastian grins. “I’ll try my best, though. It really matters if she even wants to.”

The two chat a little longer before Sam excuses himself to head back home. When he sees you scrolling on your phone in the living room he sits on the couch next to you. “So, you and Abby are hanging out tonight?” You hum a “mhm” and nod. “That’s cool! She’s really into spooky occult stuff, I think it’ll be fun.” The conversation ends there and the day goes on.

Sitting against one of the fence posts, you shiver slightly at the chilly fall breeze. Maybe I should’ve brought a heavier jacket. You think to yourself, stuffing your hands into your hoodie pocket. You were debating texting Abby to apologize and return home to stare up at the ceiling like you used to back at home. You constantly canceled on plans with the small friend group you had. It was very rare for you to actually partake in any activities they had planned and you felt terrible about it. The thought of actually going out and seeing people was so exhausting to you, though. Just as you are about to hit send, you hear footsteps coming down the path from the direction of town. With your face illuminated by your phone, Abby can easily see you and she runs up to where you’re sitting.

“Hey, girl! Let’s go.” She helps you to your feet and you follow closely next to her to the derelict farm.

It was in a worse state than you imagined.

There were overgrown bushes and weeds scattered throughout the property, as well as tons of pine and maple trees. The grass in some areas had grown well past your knees, and the ponds were full of leaves that had fallen from the maple trees. The cabin to your right also seemed to be overgrown with vines, but seemed to be more intact when compared to the Community Center. The wind rustled the tall grass and causing waves much like the ocean.

“Wow…” You stare at the property with sorrow. “I can’t believe this used to be a farm.” The chicken coops, the barn, and even the silos were gone; probably demolished or dismantled once the farm was abandoned.

Abby pushes forward, pausing a few paces ahead to look back at you expectantly. You take the hint and start to walk behind her. “I have a little nook back here I usually sit in.” And sure enough there’s a spot in the tall grass that has been pat down next to the pond. You have to push through some bushes and walk between trees to get to it, but it’s a cozy little spot. “I like to play my flute here or mess with my spirit board.”

Oh Yoba, Sam was right. She’s into some spooky shit. You almost shudder at the thought, but shrug it off. She sits down on the floor and you sit yourself down across from her, legs criss-crossed and you grasp your ankles. “So, what were you up to after we graduated high school? I saw you the summer after, but we haven’t talked since.” You felt a stab of guilt; Abby was one of your best friends growing up and you completely stopped talking to her once you moved away from home. Life had just gotten in the way.

“I went to college, and moved out of my mom’s place after my first year. I spent four years getting an art degree.” Abby nods. “Afterwards I got a job, but it wasn’t related to art. I was hoping to do freelance, or work with a museum or something.”

“That’s super awesome! You were always so good at art, I would’ve been surprised if you did something different. I’m actually taking some online classes through a community college right now. I’m still not sure what I want to do, but I’m trying to get my required core classes out of the way before I try for a degree.” That was good to hear. “I’ll be honest; I’m not the best student, so it’s been difficult.”

“School’s hard, man.” You nod. It was a miracle I even graduated on time.

“You can say that again. I can’t stay focused to save my life. I tend to play video games a little too much or hang out with Seb or Sam to avoid my homework.” She laughs nervously and twirls a lock of her purple hair around her finger absentmindedly. There’s a silence that settles between you two, and you’re starting to think about what to say next. She’s staring up at the sky, though, so you think you have a little time to think of something.

“So, video games? I haven’t played any since I was last here…” You play with a blade of grass between your fingers.

“Oh, you don’t play much anymore? The boys and I play all the time. You should hang out with us sometime! We usually go to the saloon on Fridays and the boys play pool. I don’t play with them, though. I prefer the Prarie King cabinet they have.”

That sounds exhausting. “Yeah, maybe I’ll stop by one of these Fridays.”

“My birthday’s on Saturday. You should totally come with us this Friday to celebrate!”

“I’ll keep that in mind; I still have some of my things to sort out from the move.” That was a blatant lie, but she didn’t know that. Hopefully Sam didn’t call bullshit on your lie.

“I’d love to see you there. Just like old times.”

If only it were that easy.

The two of you spend the next hour chatting about miscellaneous topics. She loves to gush about video games and even starts to talk about some supernatural rumors she’s heard or come across while exploring the town at night. Normally you’d be unsettled by this, but you felt nothing but true neutrality. Empty was a better word for it. Your thoughts wander throughout the conversation, thinking about if you were going to cancel or make an excuse not to hang out with them at the saloon. It would be hard because of Sam…

“Ready to head out? It’s getting pretty late.” Abby’s voice cuts through your thoughts and you are brought out of your dissociative state.

“Uh, yeah, that sounds good.”

You both make your way back towards the entrance by the bus stop and keep to yourself the entire walk back. When you reach the plaza, Abby waves as you turn to go south towards Sam’s house. “Have a good night, Y/N! Hope to see you on Friday!”

Pulling out your phone to check the time, you see that it’s barely 1 AM. You could roam the woods for a bit before heading back. There’s also a notification waiting for you; a text from Sam.

Sammy 12:55 AM

Hey, just checking on you. I know you’re out late,

and I want to make sure you’re safe.

You 1:13 AM

Yeah, I just got done hanging out with

Abby. I’ll be home in a bit.

That was a lie. You planned on roaming the woods for at least another hour. Maybe scroll on your phone. Stare at the sky. If you were feeling adventurous you’d go over to the strange tower to the west. You walked right past Sam’s house, and take the path into the woods past the ranch and the cabin that you still didn’t know who even lived there. As the path gave way to nature, you hear the water of the nearby river rush over several rocks. You follow the sound and find yourself walking along the banks of the river southwards. You weren’t sure where exactly you were going and when you’d stop, but walking through nature like this helped keep your mind off the other thoughts that usually plagued your mind.

In the dim moonlight you can see a small wooden bridge connecting to a small island with a single tree in the middle of the river. You follow the bridge and then find yet another bridge going south. You find yourself next to some cliffs, and can see what you think is a clearing ahead of you. You push through the trees and sure enough there is a large dirt clearing sparsely surrounded by trees. A perfect place to lay down and stare at the sky. You pull your hood over your head and lay down on the ground.

More clouds had started to roll in, making it difficult to really see the stars, but you kept your gaze trained upwards. Your eyes close, and you take several deep breaths of clean country air. You could never get over how clean this air felt. It was refreshing, to say the least. And you just laid there. You didn’t know how long, but your fingers were icicles after. You tried very hard not to let your thoughts wander, but they overtake your mind.

I’m not supposed to be here.

It’s a miracle I survived; or maybe a curse, depending on how you look at it.

I miss Dad.

I wonder if Mom ever thinks about me?

I’m not supposed to be here…

You sigh. A long, heavy sigh. Your eyes open and you pull out your phone one final time.

3:32 AM

Time flies when you’re spiraling. Your body didn’t want to move. It seemed to take all your energy to lift your phone, let alone your whole body. The chill biting at your fingertips spreads farther up, and your whole face seems to be frozen. The tip of your nose feels like it should be sprouting icicles like a character from a cartoon.

Why won’t my body move?

You glance at your phone.

4:17 AM

You use all your strength to sit up, and heave yourself up to your feet. It was time to go home. Could you even call it that? You weren’t sure if it was your home yet. You weren’t really sure of much of anything right now. With one final sigh, you stuff your nearly frozen hands into your pocket and saunter back to the house.

You unlock the door as stealthily as you can, and after silently shutting the door behind you you look up to see someone sleeping on the couch. It’s Sam. His head is leaning to the side and it looks like he fell asleep just sitting there. He was waiting on you to come back. No doubt his neck is going to hurt in the morning, so you tiptoe up to him and attempt to wedge a pillow between his head and shoulder. You head to your shared room, grab the comforter from his bed, and return to him to drape it over him.

“Night, Sammy.” You whisper and retire to your air mattress for the night.

Chapter Text

“Sebastian!” You whined and covered your eyes, trying to hold back tears. The boy had placed a frog on your head as you were sitting under a tree drawing in your sketchbook.

“It’s just a frog! It won’t hurt you!” He sticks his tongue out and you toss your sketchbook to the side.

“It messed up my drawing when it hopped on to my paper, you dummy! Ugh!” 10 year-old you is shaking with anger, and you can’t contain yourself any more. Sam and Abby are nearby trying to climb a tree together, and they come to see what the commotion is.

“Y/N?” Sam kneels down to comfort you and then gives his best friend a pointed look. “Seb! Why would you do that?”

“I wasn’t trying to ruin her drawing! I just wanted to see her reaction to a frog on her head!”

After staying in Pelican Town for several days, something was bothering you and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. After the third day, you figured out what it was. Most of the people here annoyed you like no other. Back in your small city, no one would bother you as you walked down the street, or if you were getting groceries. Here though? Everyone seemed to be all in your business. You thought they were nosy, and enjoyed talking way too much. You just wanted to be left alone. So, you elected to stay at the house as much as you could, and only go out after dark.

The town was much more peaceful when the sun went down. No one to bother you about how you’ve been, or what you’ve been up to, or how life was treating you. Awful. Nothing. And like shit. Is how you want to answer, and you got close a couple of times but most people can at least catch on to when you start to get annoyed. The only people you will even entertain conversations with are your aunt and cousins, and even then it’s not much.

“I’m heading out.” You grab your black hoodie and start towards the front door. Sam is sitting on the couch in the living room scrolling on his phone, and he looks up.

“You have my number, text me if you need anything.” You give a grunt of acknowledgement and start your nightly walk.

The cool fall air hits your skin as you exit the house and you take a deep breath. The air was less stuffy out here. You preferred it to your old city’s air, which always seemed to be thick and suffocating. The previous nights you’d been exploring the different areas of town, which all looked way cooler at night like this. You had already checked out the beach and the Cindersap Forest. Today you decided to go up towards where the mines are, past Sebastian’s house. You were never allowed in there when you were growing up. Jodi forbade it. You were all free to do what you wanted, within reason, but she drew the line at the mines. There were rumors that there were ghosts and monsters in there, and you believed them. Sebastian always tried to scare you with stories on what kind of monsters were down there. He was successful, because you never set foot anywhere near that mine when you visited. Now, though, you didn’t care. You didn’t care what happened to you. However, you decided to roam the forest an hour or two before making your way to the mountain.

As you pass the Community Center, you look up at the crumbling building, and stop in your tracks. Jodi used to take you and Sam there at least once a week to do various activities. They had a summer program for kids in town with a different theme every week. One week could be ocean themed, the next all about the jungle, and the next all about trains. You loved to mess around with the weekly crafts in the craft room. You’d always had a knack for art. It was hard to even remember the last time you had even used your hard-earned degree…

No more time for reminiscing. Time to go explore.

The walk up the mountain is as tiring as the last time you made the trek. How does anyone get up and down this hill everyday? The sounds of crickets fills your ears while you focus on the road ahead of you. The breeze starts to have a little more bite so you pull your hood over your head to help keep your ears and the back of your neck warm. You keep your head down as you stare at the dirt and pebbles you kick up with each step.

“Hey, Y/N.”

You jump at the sudden voice and instinctively get into a fighting stance. You didn’t know how to fight, but you sure as hell weren’t about to go down without one. It’s hard to make it out at first, but you see a silhouette of a man leaning against a tree.

“Hey, it’s just me.” Sebastian steps forward into the moonlight and you see a cigarette tucked between his lips and he takes it out to exhale a puff of smoke away from you. “Is that seriously your fighting stance?” You can hear the smirk in his voice and you audibly groan.

“Are you going to try and bother me with small talk like the rest of the town likes to?” You try not to snap at him, but your annoyance is clear.

Sebastian takes another long drag from his cigarette, and you almost want to walk away. “No, I hate it when people do that to me too.” You take this as the end of your conversation so you start to continue your adventure to the mines. “W-wait!” Sebastian tries to catch up with you and your feet freeze. “I-I was just wondering what you were doing out so late. Not many people here are night owls like me.” Another drag of his cig.

I’m less a night owl and more an insomniac. You want to say, but keep the oversharing to a minimum. “Sebastian, why do you care what I do?” It comes out a little more aggressive than you intended. This doesn’t seem to deter him, however.

The corner of his mouth lifts slightly with a smirk. “Because if you’re going to the mines, you’re going to be disappointed to hear that there’s a giant boulder blocking the entrance.” You quickly look away, muttering a “damn” under your breath. You see him hold up his cigarette box with one of them sticking out just for you. “You look like you need it.”

He wasn’t wrong.

You accept it and he tosses you his lighter. You didn’t smoke often; you had only done it a few times and it was always when you were very depressed, stressed, or anxious. One of those times being now. “Thanks.” You say with the lit cigarette in your mouth. He doesn’t say anything for another several minutes. The silence between you two is not uncomfortable, but not a comfortable silence either. It’s just… silent. You appreciate it. Everyone in town was always trying to talk to you whenever they saw you. It was impossible to be left alone unless you snapped at them; that usually got them to back off. It seemed Sebastian understood that you didn’t need to fill every silence with conversation. Silence can be peaceful, just like now.

Sebastian holds up the tin can with the cigarette butts to you when it looks like you’re about to toss it. “I’m not a monster.” He comments and you oblige, discarding the used nicotine stick into his mini trash can. “So, do you frequently make midnight strolls?”

“It’s better than staring at the ceiling all night.” You lean against a tree, stuffing your hands in your pocket.

He hums in agreement. “I’ve been there plenty of times. I usually end up working into the night and sleep in the day when that happens.”

You know you told him that you hated small talk, but you were curious. “Sam said you work from home. What do you do?”

“I do freelance coding work. Dabble in some web design too.” That’s actually pretty cool. You keep it to yourself though. You’re not quite sure how to keep the conversation going, so you don’t. Ready to just have endless awkward pauses in the conversation, you get ready to bid him goodbye but he beats you. “So… you’re an artist right? I mean—you were always pretty good at it when we were growing up.”

I haven’t created any art in years. “I mean, I suffered through college for four years for an art degree, so; yeah.”

“Maybe I can get an artist’s eyes on the website I’m currently working on?” 

You don’t want my opinion. “Sure, I guess.”

“Cool. Yeah. Uh,” he pulls out his phone, “I can just send you the link if you want to take a look at it some time. You don’t have to, though. You can also just tell me to fuck off.” He jokes while handing you his phone, a new contact pulled up and ready for you to add your information to.

Fuck off, Sebastian. “I’ll take a look at it tonight.” What are you saying? “It’s not like I have anything else to do.”

Sebastian nods. “I’ll be up. I’m always up pretty late. Just text me.”

“Mhm.” You return his phone and he turns to make his way back to his house, not before wishing you a goodnight.

Somehow, your feet take you all the way back to the beach, and you let your feet dangle over the inky water as you sit on the edge of the dock. It was calming to hear the waves crash against the rocks and the shore behind you. The water laps at the wooden dock that you sit on and you take a deep breath of the salty air. You lived inland before, so having a beach so readily close to you was a pleasant benefit of living in Pelican Town. You feel your phone buzz and take a look at the message you receive from, you guess, Sebastian.

(###)-###-#### 3:36 AM

Hey, it’s Sebastian. Don’t forget to save my number. >:)

You do, chuckling slightly at the difference in personality in his text.

You 2:36 AM

And if I don’t???

Sebastian 2:37 AM

Then I’m going to have to awkwardly announce my identity every

time I message you.

You 2:37 AM

Whatever, dude.

Oh yeah,I’ll take a look at that webpage, but I need the link,

dummy.

You get sent a link and start to look through his work. You were no graphic designer, but you do have an artist’s eye, or at least you did. Maybe it’ll be like riding a bike; it’ll just come back to you even though you haven’t done any sort of art in several years. You were very impressed with what he had. Some of the colors were off (not quite matching well) and the placement of some of the elements were a little awkward, but overall it wasn’t too bad, for an amateur like him. You send him your thoughts, not expecting anything else from him other than a “thanks.”

Sebastian 2:45 AM

How was your midnight walk?

You 2:45  AM

It’s almost 3 am, dude.

Sebastian 2:46 AM

Shit, sorry. How was your Almost-3am-Walk?

You 2:46 AM

I’m at the beach right now, so okay I guess.

Sebastian 2:47 AM

You’ll want to be careful, I heard there are some mysterious

sea creatures out around this time of year.

You roll your eyes. He hasn’t changed at all since you were kids.

You 2:48 AM

I’m not going to fall for your teasing like

when we were kids, Sebastian. 🙄

Sebastian 2:50 AM

Damn. I was hoping it’d work.

I guess going to college made you smarter, didn’t it?

You 2:51 AM

 Bold words for a man without a college

education.

I’m kidding, btw. No judging.

It’s several minutes before you get a response back from him, and you’re already heading back home. By the time you reach the front door and pull your house key from your pocket, your phone buzzes.

Sebastian 3:03 am

Don’t worry, I can take it. Think of it as payback for all the

years I picked on you.

You 3:04 AM

Whatever you say, dude. I’m home now. Leave me alone.😏

Good night, Sebastian.

Sebastian 3:05 AM

Night, Y/N.

You don’t know why it was so easy to talk to Sebastian like that. The two of you were so awkward whenever you were in the same room as each other, but messaging each other came so easy. Deep down you hoped to reconnect with him; he seemed to have grown up a bit since you were a kid, so maybe his presence will be more enjoyable now.

You tip toe through the house into Sam’s room; praying that the door didn’t squeak as you opened and closed it. Of course it did, because why wouldn’t it? Luckily for you, Sam was a heavy sleeper. He was knocked out, so you slid under your covers on the air mattress.

The next morning (afternoon, actually) you wake up to a couple messages from Sebastian.

Sebastian 4:07 AM

I don’t know if Sam told you, but we like to hang out at the

saloon on Fridays. We always play pool, and he always loses :P

It’d be really cool if you joined us. We’ll be celebrating

Abby’s birthday.

That was two invitations to Abby’s little birthday celebration. Maybe you should try and enjoy yourself for once. It might be fun. You walk out to the living room where Sam is playing on his handheld game console. Vincent is sitting in his lap, watching him with a wide smile on his face. You can’t help but smile slightly at the sight. Vincent was always able to lift your spirits. His innocence was so pure and just made you feel lighter.

“Good morning, Y/N!” The little boy greets, causing Sam to look up from his game.

“Mornin, Y/N! Mom left some lunch for you in the fridge. Do you want to head over to Seb’s soon to start on her cake? He’s expecting us.”

That sounds exhausting. “Yeah, let me get ready.”

When the three of you arrive at Sebastian’s house, Sebastian is already waiting for you in the kitchen, leaning against the counter while scrolling his phone. “Sebastian!” Vincent lets go of your hand and runs up to the tall, dark, and moody man. Sebastian sets his phone down and lifts the little boy up into the air.

“How’s my best friend?”

“I’m doing great, thanks.” Sam chimes in and Sebastian jokingly gives him a pointed look. “Thanks again for letting us use your kitchen, man. Mom’s going to love the cake.”

“No problem.” Sebastian looks over to you and you feel your hands get clammy at the sound of his voice. “Hey, Y/N.”

“Hey.”

He sets Vincent down and starts to get out some utensils for you all to use for your baking project. “Let me know if you need anything else. I’ll just hang around in here while you work.”

Sam pulls up the chocolate cake recipe on his phone and you start to get to work. You and Sam measure out the ingredients and let Vincent pour them into the mixing bowl. As the little boy stands on a chair, you help him mix everything together, making sure it’s mixed evenly and there are almost no chunks in the batter. You catch Sam sneaking dollops of batter to taste test, and he laughs when he sees your eyes on him. “I’m just testing it for poison!” He then offers a taste to Vincent and then you. Your pour the cake batter into two pans, and set them in the oven to bake.

“Seb! Can we play games on your Switch?” Vincent jumps from the chair by the counter and tugs on Sebastian’s arm.

“Sure, buddy.” Sebastian smiles and starts to lead the way to the stairs to the basement.

Something in you is telling you to not join them, so you stay at the top of the stairs. “I’m going to get some fresh air. You guys have fun.” Sam freezes on his way downstairs and turns back to you.

“You want me to come with you?”

“No, I’m fine. Thanks, Sammy.” You turn to the front door to escape back to the outdoors to get that fresh Stardew Valley air. Your feet take you over to the lake and see some bridges leading to tiny islands in the lake. Curious, you follow the path and sit yourself in the middle of the bridge. Kicking your shoes off and removing your socks, you dangle your feet over the edge of the small bridge and dip your feet into the cool water. Your phone buzzes in your pocket.

Sebastian 3:46 PM

Feeling okay?

You 3:46 PM

Yeah, just want some fresh air.

About 20 minutes go by before your phone buzzes again.

Sebastian 4:04 PM

Vincent’s asking for you. What should I tell him?

You 4:04 PM

I’ll be back in a minute.

I can’t say no to him.

Sebastian 4:05 PM

Me too. He’s got me wrapped around his little finger :P

You smile at this and dry your feet off with your sweater, slipping your socks and shoes back on before roaming back to Sebastians’ room inside the house. “Y/N! Come help me beat Sebastian in Mario Kart!” He hops from the couch to greet you as you enter his room. His room just screams "Sebastian." There are various posters from video games or comics lining the dark stone walls, as well as sticky notes stuck to the area next to his desk. On the far wall to the left is a bookshelf jam-packed with graphic novels, comics, and various books. As you get a quick glance you see a handful of books about coding. His bed sits in the far corner with a table and tv at the foot of it; probably to be able to use it while he's in bed. Against the wall next to the door is a black sofa where they are sitting and in the middle of the room is a large table with three chairs. Sebastian has a tv set up on the table along with his game console connected to it.

“I don’t know, Seb’s pretty good at Mario Kart.” Sam gives Vincent a playful nudge.

“I mean… yeah.” Sebastian gives a confident smirk, causing Sam to roll his eyes.

“I haven’t played video games since the last time I was in town.” You take a seat between Vincent and Sebastian, who hands you a controller.

“That’s okay, Mario Kart has some pretty easy controls.” He points to the different buttons you need to use, his fingers brushing against your hand as he gives you a quick rundown. “So, all you really need to know is that A is to go forward, and use the joystick to turn, and use that button to use your items. Ready?” He stares at you with a ghost of a smile a little longer than what you would consider normal before looking to Vince. “Ready to go, buddy?”

“Yeah!”

The four of you pick your characters—you choose Dry Bones—and move on to customizing your karts. Sebastian leans a little closer to you and whispers, “Here,” holding out his hand for your controller. He goes through the various options at lightning speed, choosing the pieces that give you the best stats overall. It’s clear he has played this a lot. “I’ve perfected the art of Mario Kart.” He keeps his voice low as he returns the controller to your hands. With that, you all start a race. “Don’t forget to collect coins, they make you go faster.” He glances at you from the side and you put your focus on the screen. For the next 10 minutes, you hear Vince yelling when he gets hit by shells, Sam shit talking Sebastian, and more yelling from Vince. You and Sebastian stay focused for all four races, never saying much. By the end, you were in second place overall, and you can’t help but be proud of yourself.

“For someone who ‘doesn’t play video games,’ you’re pretty good at this, Y/N.” Sam exclaims, and you side eye Sebastian with a slight tug of a smile at the corners of your mouth. You used to play video games a lot, actually. You just stopped playing. Sebastian keeps his attention on the screen but you definitely notice a mischievous smile on his face. The four of you play a couple more games until you hear the timer go off on Sam’s phone. “Hey, Vince, come help me with the cakes.” Sam doesn’t wait for him to answer and picks him up from the couch.

“Have fun?” Sebastian asks once the two brothers are up the stairs. You give a silent nod, staring off to the side at one of the walls. “Good. I hope Sam gets done with that cake soon; as much as I love him, my social battery gets drained pretty quickly.” He realizes what he just says might come off a bit rude, so he quickly adds, “Not that I don’t enjoy your company. I just can’t handle as much social interaction as him.”

“You’re telling me; I live with the guy.” You joke and Sebastian chuckles.

“I think Sam will actually implode if he goes too long without social interaction.” A small giggle escapes your lips and you quickly quiet yourself from the embarrassment. There’s a silence that falls between the two of you, much like the one from the previous night. You felt at peace when you were around Sebastian; he was much calmer and quieter than the other people in town, and it was refreshing to spend time with him. He seemed like someone who would be fine with doing nothing in the same room as the other and call it “hanging out.” That was your favorite type of hanging out; doing nothing together.

The rest of the time you spend at Sebastian’s house consists of watching Vince and Sam play the Switch while you and Seb scroll your social media on your phones. Once the cakes had cooled down, the three of you headed back upstairs. Sebastian said he had some more work to get done on his current project and told you to let yourselves out when you were done; he’d clean up the dishes for you after you left. All that was left was to ice the cake with the fudge icing and put some cherries on top. “We’ll use the other one tomorrow at Abby’s party at the saloon.” You nod.

Abby’s party.

After hanging out with the boys today, you felt like you could handle going to the saloon with them. You were actually looking forward to it now; now that you had spent some time with Sebastian and Sam. You felt a little bad that you didn’t have a gift for her, but it seemed like that it wasn’t an official party. Maybe she wouldn’t care that you didn’t have a gift for her. What would you do while you were there? Abby said that Sebastian and Sam played pool, but you weren’t sure you wanted to do that.

Your thoughts are interrupted by Vincent as he tugs on your hand. You look down and he’s pointing to the second cake on the counter. Sam is looking at you expectantly, but with patience. “It’s time to go home.” Vince smiles and you nod, grabbing the other cake.

As you pass the stairs down to Sebastian’s room Sam yells down, “Thanks again, Seb! See you tomorrow!”

It was safe to say Jodi loved the cake. She was ecstatic to see it when you walked in with your cousins, and was speechless when you presented it to her. You all enjoyed a slice or two before retiring for the night. As the lights in the house were turned off and Vincent was tucked into bed, you stay seated on the living room couch, aimlessly scrolling on your phone.

“Headed out tonight?” Sam peeks his head from his bedroom door frame. It had become part of your routine at this point.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Okay, be safe. Good night, Y/N.”

Soon after, as you’re roaming towards the beach, you receive a text. You pull out your phone.

Sebastian 12:42 AM

It was nice seeing you today, I hope you come to

hang out with us tomorrow. :)

You nod to yourself with a small smile. Maybe this would be a good thing for you. With that on your mind, you continue to the beach and dangle your feet over the calm ocean waves and stare up at the night sky, feeling a little lighter than you had before you had moved here.

I think tomorrow will be pretty fun…

Chapter Text

The next night, you and Sam arrived to the saloon early to get the cake set up for Abby’s little birthday party. You were starting to feel anxious, or maybe it was excitement? You weren’t sure. While you waited, Sam ordered a pizza and you were biting at the skin on your lip. “I’m really glad you came to hang out tonight.” Sam’s voice cuts through your thoughts and you nod. “If you want to leave early, that’s okay. I might hang out a little longer but you don’t have to stay all night.” He tilts his head with that warm smile across his face. It always made you feel at peace, even if it was temporary. 

Abby arrives a few minutes early from their normal meeting time, and as she turns the corner to the room with the pool table she gasps. “Sam! You didn’t have to make me a cake!”

“Hey, Y/N helped, too.” He puts an arm around your shoulders and you smile, pleased with her reaction. Abby pulls the two of you in for a big hug, showering you in praise and thanks for the special addition to her birthday. Sam and Abby chat for a few minutes while you sit and listen intently at one of the couches in the game room.

“Seb better get his ass here quicker, or I’m gonna start getting hangry.” Abby huffs and crosses her arms. As if on cue, Sebastian pokes his head into the room. “Finally! Let’s eat!” She barely gives Sebastian time to settle in before digging into the pizza Gus brought out for the four of you. Sam greets his best friend with a nod and smile, and Sebastian’s dark gaze turns to you.

“Hey, Y/N. Glad you made it out tonight.”

You give an awkward tight-lipped smile. “Yeah. I thought it might be fun.” You quickly look away to see Sam eyeing the pizza eagerly. “Be careful, Sam would inhale this entire pizza if it weren’t for it being Abby’s birthday dinner.” Your teasing elicits a pout from your cousin and you can’t help but laugh at the sight.

“Oh don’t worry; we know.” Abby rolls her eyes playfully and nudges Sam.

“Hey, why are you all ganging up on me?” He pouts again at this and looks to Sebastian for support.

“Don’t look at me. It’s true, dude.”

The three of them start some banter and you can’t help but feel a little left out of their inside jokes and teasing for a moment. You nibble on your pizza as you watch them carefully, wondering if there’s anything you can add to the conversation. The three of them laugh and you feel yourself drifting away from the present. How nice would it be to share such close relationships with others. It was a feeling you weren’t too familiar with any more, and you were honestly a little envious of the friendship they had.

“Y/N?” Sam taps your arm and you snap back to the game room in the saloon. You apologize. “Feeling okay?” He lowers his voice so that only the two of you can hear one another.

“I’m fine, sorry. Was daydreaming.” You lied with a smile and it seemed to keep Sam from questioning you further. “I think it’s time for cake, don’t you think?” You notice that everyone’s plates are empty, except for yours; you never really cared for pizza crust so they stayed on your plate, untouched. Sam, without asking, snatches them from your plate and eats them. It was something he always did when you got pizza with Aunt Jodi and Uncle Kent on those nights she didn’t want to cook. It had become so routine then, and you didn’t think the silly tradition would carry over to the present.

Sam places two candles in the shape of numbers on the cake: a two and three. She was a few years younger than the rest of you, but the four of you had always been close during the summers you spent in Pelican Town. Sebastian pulls out his lighter and lights the candles up, and the three of you start singing. It was awful and out of tune, but that’s how singing “happy birthday” always went.

“Happy birthday to yoooou!”

Abby takes a deep breath and blows out the candles with ease. After cutting the cake, the four of you sit in a comfortable silence, savoring the treat. “This is actually really good.” Abby compliments and Sam frowns.

“What? Did you expect it to be bad?”

“I mean, you had a part in making it. I didn’t think you’d be good at baking.” The birthday girl scoffs. You can’t tell if she’s being brutally honest or if she’s messing around; or both.

“I never doubted you, man.” Sebastian says between small bites. He only takes a few small chunks before setting it to the side, and stands up. “Ready to get your ass beat again?” He strolls over to grab a cue off the wall.

Sam huffs after finishing his slice of cake. “One of these days we’re going to beat you. Right, Y/N?” You feel your cousin’s expectant eyes on you and you freeze mid-bite from your cake. Eyes darting between the two boys and unsure of what to respond with.

“I don’t think anyone’s going to beat Seb at his own game.” Abby chimes in and he puffs out his chest.

The boys go ahead in their game of pool, and you sit by Abby on the sofa. The two of you chat, though, Abby seems to be leading the conversation. Your thoughts wander to just about anything but the conversation at hand. Soon they just flatline into nothingness. Your mind is just a foggy haze that you wander through, Abby’s voice just a whisper in the distance. You don’t even notice her walking off to get herself a drink, unable tor remember if she told you that she’d be right back or if you even responded.

The fog in your mind lifts when you feel someone plop down in the spot next to you on the sofa. You blink a couple times and Sebastian’s familiar face comes into focus. He nudges your leg with his knee. “Want to go out for a smoke?” You nod and follow him out the saloon. Sam tries to stop and ask where you were going but Sebastian quickly just holds up his pack of cigarettes as an answer.

The cool fall air hits your skin, and you realize how hot your body feels and how clammy your skin feels. It feels refreshing, and your deep breath in makes you realize just how anxious you were feeling. Sebastian leans against the wall of the saloon and sticks a cigarette in his mouth, searching his pockets for a lighter. “You don’t have to smoke. You just look like you needed a break.”

“Yeah…” You sigh and hug your arms, rubbing them and staring at the floor without another word. That comfortable silence settles between the two of you as you hear him take a drag from his cigarette every so often. Your mind wanders back to your envy of the trio’s friendship. While you had to leave every summer, they continued to be childhood friends. They all had someone to rely on, someone to look out for them, and years of memories with one another. You wanted that so bad, but with how you were right now, you weren’t sure you’d be able to.

No one wants a depressed piece of shit hanging around them. 

You’re wasting their time and effort on worrying about you.

Just leave them alone.

“Hey.” You look up to Sebastian and he’s stomping out his cigarette in the dirt. “You’re thinking about something right now, and you’re spiraling.”

“How do you know?” You try not to snap, but you always seemed to be annoyed with what everyone has to say about you and frequently got defensive.

Sebastian exhales through his nose and closes his eyes. “Because I used to do it a lot. I still find myself spiraling down a rabbit hole of thoughts that just make me feel like shit.” He opens his eyes, and they are full of concern. Much like Sam’s whenever he looks at you. Except Sam’s eyes seems more like he’s walking on eggshells when it comes to you. You frown. Knowing that if you continue this conversation it will lead to you choosing to spill your heart out to him, or just telling him to fuck off. “Whatever your brain is telling you, it’s wrong.”

Easy for you to say… You keep this to yourself and shrug. “I guess… Let’s head back inside before Sam starts to worry.”

Abby and Sam both have drinks in their hands and are in the middle of an animated conversation at the table in the corner of the room. Sam welcomes you back with energy, but Abby’s face is anything but. Unbeknownst to you, her grip tightens on her drink and jaw tenses up. You turn to the other side of the room to sit by yourself on the plush red chair in the corner next to the blue sofa, letting the other three chat more while you pull out your phone.

You 6:37 PM

Thanks btw.

Sebastian 6:38 PM

No problem

If you ever want an excuse for a break lmk.

Smoking’s a pretty discrete excuse. :P

You 6:38 PM

I’ll take you up on that offer. 

Sebastian 6:47 PM

If you want to leave early, that’s cool. We

usually stay pretty late.

You 6:48 PM

I’ll stick around a little longer. I’m actually

having fun.

You end up playing the Journey of the Prairie King cabinet by yourself and memories of eating out on Fridays start to form in your mind. It was your favorite day of the week in the summer. You would always order the plate of spaghetti and Sam would split a pizza with his mom and dad. He had always loved pizza, and would eat it everyday if he could. Kent constantly had to wipe leftover spaghetti sauce from your face when you finished, and even as you grew into a teenager it became routine for him to clean up your dinner from your face.

“Wow! Y/N hasn’t lost her touch.” Sam exclaims while watching you play over your shoulder. From the corner of your eye Sebastian leans in to get a better look and you feel your hands get clammy around the joystick and buttons on the cabinet. “Y/N here used to sneak off to play this instead of hang out with us.” Sam nudges you lightly but you keep your focus on the game.

“Shit, you might get farther than Abby.” Sebastian mumbles and this catches Abby’s attention, who was still sitting in the corner scrolling her phone with a slight frown. She swiftly stands from the chair and hurriedly walks over to where the three of you are standing. Abby gently pushes a towering Sebastian to the side so that she can watch you better, but her hand lingers on his arm.

“No one’s been able to get as far as me.” Abby pouts.

“Maybe Y/N will be the first.” Sam pats your arm and you try to ignore the distraction of their voices. As you progress through the game, it gets more and more difficult, and there are several times you almost die or lose all your lives. Sam is cheering you on with excitement, while Sebastian is quietly muttering exclamations in your ear. At some point his hand makes its place on your shoulder but you’re too focused on the game to react. Behind you Abby is silently fuming at the physical contact between the two of you.

And then…

“Yeah!” Sam jumps and gives you a big hug. You feel your face grow flushed as the boys shower you in praise and congratulations for beating the entire game. Abby gives a curt “nice job” and turns back to the table in the corner to sit herself down.

“I didn’t think I’d be able to get it. I got pretty lucky.” Your eyes revert down to the floor as you pull at the sleeves of your hoodie. It was probably around seven at this point, and you were feeling what little energy you had in your social battery depleted. “Um,” you look up at the boys, and Sebastian gives you a knowing look and almost unnoticeable nod. You turn to Abby, “happy birthday, Abby. I think I’m going to head home.” You address the whole group with your final statement, and add, “Thank you for inviting me. I had a lot of fun.”

“Aww, thanks for coming out, Y/N. I’ll see you later when I get back.” Sam hugs you once more.

“Yeah, thanks for stopping by and for the cake.” Abby’s usual lilt in her voice gone. You chalked it up to her being tired from a long day. Sebastian simply waves and you turn to leave for the night.

The minute your body hits the air mattress, you feel yourself starting to fall asleep. You think about the night, but can’t help and wonder if you seemed grumpy while you were there. It was something you always feared before you moved to Pelican Town, ever since… well, that happened. You were glad no one pressured you to drink; that was an issue you had with your old friend group which was a big reason you didn’t hang out with them that often. They really didn’t understand your discomfort with it, and you didn’t care to explain it to them. Before you drifted off to sleep, you heard your phone buzz, and see a text from Sam making sure you made it home okay. You rapidly text a “yes” and turn on your side to drift into a slumber.

The next couple days you kept to yourself to recharge your social battery. Sebastian was right; hanging out with others can be so draining, especially Sam. He was a great guy, but he had so much energy for one person. He let you know that Sebastian and Abby would come over on Saturday for their weekly jam session, and you took that opportunity to leave for the beach. Vincent had tutoring with someone in town so you didn’t have to worry about watching him for awhile. Later that day you received a text and realized it was a group chat.

Sammy 1:27 PM

Hey, Y/N! Thought I’d add you to our

gc that way you’re in the loop whenever

we hang out all together :D

Sebastian 1:27 PM

Welcome to hell.

Abby 1:27 PM

Damn, you hate us that much???

Sebastian 1:28 PM

Yup.

You feel your stomach drop at the sudden invitation into their circle, but appreciate it nonetheless. It was a step forward.

Sammy 1:30 PM

I just wanted to tell you that the Stardew

Valley Fair is on Tuesday. There’s some

games and stuff that can be fun. I’d like

you to go with us. :)

Sebastian 1:30 PM

It’s not all that great, imo

Abby 1:31 PM

Seb, you hate like all the festivals.

Sebastian 1:31 PM

And???

You 1:32 PM

I’ll try it out. I won’t make any promises,

though.

Sammy 1:32 PM

Yay! :3

You forgot how many festivals and celebrations Pelican Town held. It seemed like there was at least one or two for every season. The fair seemed to be a little bigger, since it wasn’t just Pelican Town, but a festival that people from across the Valley would attend. It must’ve been a pretty good moneymaker for the town.

You wait outside the house for Sam, who was busy styling his hair, and Vincent swings your hand in his. “Sam is always late for things because of his hair.” He laughs and it’s so infectious that a laugh of escapes your lips. “Sam hates it when his hair doesn’t look good.” Behind the house you can hear the beginnings of the fair, with people perusing the stalls and starting to play the games on display. You were curious as to what games there would be; you’d always gone home before the fall season was upon the Valley and never got the chance to celebrate this festival with Pelican Town.

“You excited to play games today?” You smile down to your younger cousin, who jumps while saying “yes” over and over. “Good, I can’t wait to see you win some prizes.” Right as you finish discussing your plans with Vince, the front door to the house swings open and Sam clambers out, out of breath.

“Sorry! Let’s go.” He grabs Vincent’s other hand and leads the way to the town plaza into the growing crowd of tourists. “Seb and Abby said they’d meet us here…” Sam scans the crowd and finds Sebastian and Abby chatting by the Smashing Stone game. Abby is standing fairly close to Sebastian and you can see her grab his shoulder as she laughs at whatever he just said. The four of you exchange greetings, and Sebastian gently shakes off Abby’s grasp at the sight of you, and kneels down to Vincent’s level.

“How’s my best friend?” Holding up a hand for a high five. Vincent claps his palm against Sebastian’s with a giggle and looks up at his big brother. “And I guess you too, Sam.” Vincent’s laugh bubbles out, causing Sebastian to chuckle along. He stands back up and directs his smile to you, his eyes closing as he does so. “Hey, Y/N. Glad you made it today.” His tone seems a little gentler than it was with Vince. Very sweet and warm, unlike how he talks with anyone else. Your gaze flashes to Abby for a moment when you see her body jerk ever so slightly at his greeting towards you. She does a pretty good job at hiding it, but you can tell something is bothering her.

Sam pulls you and Vince along and calls out to Abby to join them. “I assume you’re going to stand over in your usual spot?” He looks up at Sebastian, whose hands are stuffed in his pocket. You see him spare a quick glance to you, and he shrugs. “Nah, I’ll follow you guys for a bit.” Both Abby and Sam’s eyes widen slightly, but your small party continues forward to the first game. It’s a ring toss game that Vince seems pretty excited to try out. He begs his brother for some gold pieces to give it a shot, who pretends he’s not going to pay. Vincent not catching onto his teasing turns to you with puppy dog eyes.

“Y/N? Can I play this game?” You look up at Sam, who nods, and then back to your younger cousin.

“Sure, buddy.” You dig into your pockets for 50 gold pieces and hand it to the game attendant. The attendant accepts the change and explains the rules. She hands you 10 metal rings and you are to get as many rings around the bottles as you can. The more rings you have on the bottles the more star tokens you’ll earn at the end. The attendant lets Vince use a step stool so he can actually see the bottles he’s supposed to be throwing the rings to. He misses the first couple, but ends up getting some more after that. With each ring he gets, the four adults are cheering him on behind him. Even if he misses, though, the four of you keep encouraging him and he jumps with joy when he’s done. He is able to get four rings across the bottles that are laid out and the attendant dishes out 40 Star Tokens to you. Sam hands his brother a small drawstring bag, instructing him to hold it open so you could put the tokens inside. You don’t notice, but Abby drags Sebastian off to the fishing game and he glances over his shoulder to you as she hooks her arm around his.

You look to Sam and let him know you’d like to play some games on your own, and find a sling shot game and decide to play a couple rounds. You’re pretty bad at it, but you’re able to get 200 Star Tokens after several attempts of the slingshot game. You make your way to Pierre’s popup shop and take a look at his wares. He seems to have pepper poppers, which piques your interest. However, you are 50 tokens short. You sigh, thinking about going back to play another game to make up the difference. “Thinking about getting a snack?” A familiar voice sounds from behind you and you turn to see the corner of Sebastian’s mouth turned up.

“Yeah, I don’t have enough tokens, though.” You scratch the back of your neck and turn to walk off, ready to tell Pierre you’ll be right back. Sebastian pulls something out of his pocket and opens up his hand to a handful of tokens.

“How many do you need? I don’t plan on using them.”

“50.”

“Perfect. As long as you share some with me.” He teases and you smile at this. After exchanging the tokens with Pierre, you wait a few minutes until you are met with a plate full of pepper poppers, still steaming and sizzling from coming straight from the fryers Gus had set up at his food stand. You accept the styrofoam container and walk with Sebastian to a nearby bench. You open up the container and let the poppers cool down.

“What games did you play?” You ask him. He stuffs his hands under his thighs on the bench and sways side to side.

“Abby dragged me off to the fishing game. I wasn’t too interested so I wandered off and tried that ring toss game Vincent really liked. I was okay at it. Then I took a stab at the Smashing Stone one.” You nod with a smile. “How about you?”

“I only played the slingshot game. I kinda got hyperfocused on it and didn’t try anything else.” You chuckle, embarrassed at what you admitted. The silence settles between the two of you and you stare out into the crowd of people moving from stand to stand, a loud chatter overpowering whatever thoughts you might have on your mind at the moment.

“I usually don’t like doing these festivals.” Sebastian suddenly says. “I honestly think they’re pretty stupid most of the time.” He leans his elbow on the armrest of the bench, and rest his cheek in his hand. “But… I like hanging out with Sam and Abby.” He sighs with a smile. “And Vince. That little guy makes it hard not to have fun. And you, of course.”

You feel your cheeks get red at this, but try to shrug it off. “That’s good to hear. I was convinced you hated me when we were growing up.”

Sebastian chuckles, thick with embarrassment. “I didn’t hate you. Not even close. You were kind of easy to pick on, and I took advantage of that. I also had my own shit going on and, as kids do, I didn’t know how to deal with it.”

“Oh.”

“I… I really wanted to be your friend, Y/N. I still do, and I hope the current me is much less of an asshole than the younger me you knew growing up.” You’re shocked at the sudden change in tone, him being much more serious than his usual friendly tone. He avoids your eyes and taps his foot rapidly, awaiting your reaction.

“I can say with confidence that you’re doing a pretty good job of being better than 10 year-old-Sebastian.” You bump his knee with your own, much like he did at the saloon the other day.

A small smile forms on his face and he sharply exhales through his nose. “You never call me ‘Seb’ like everyone else does.”

You sit up rigidly at the random statement. “I’m sorry. Uh, do you want me to?” He shakes his head and keeps his gaze trained on some random spot in the crowd.

“No. I like hearing you call me by my full name.” He pauses one more time for a few moments before looking down at the styrofoam container sitting in your lap. “Let’s dig in before these get cold.” And the two of you share the poppers, chatting about some mundane topics and reminiscing on some childhood memories you shared.

When the poppers are all gone, Sebastian gets up and throws the trash away for you. He returns and has his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth. The expectant look on his face urges you to stand up and you ask, “Do you want to do anything?”

“Uh, there’s a fortune teller. Wanna try that out?” He shrugs and you nod, following him down to the south end of the plaza. The tent for the fortune teller is much different than the rest of the games and food stands; it is a beautiful purple tent with layers of glittery sheer fabric draped at the entrance. You both enter the dark tent and notice two plush pillows in front of a low table that has a jar full of gold coins, several crystals decorating the tabletop, and a deck of cards sitting on the side. Behind the table sits a mysterious woman who places a crystal ball on the table, and she wears a blue hooded cloak and wears several pieces of jewelry: from rings on her fingers, bangles on her wrists, and earrings decorating her ears. There’s a strange haze that pools from behind her, probably from a fog machine, and without looking up from her crystal ball the woman beckons the two of you in.

“Welcome, welcome. Are we here to receive a reading? Perhaps about your relationship?” She raises a brow with a mischievous smile, and you and Sebastian look at one another in a panic. Before either of you can respond she laughs and waves her hands, gesturing for you to sit down. “I jest, I jest. Miss,” she turns to you, “I sense you are feeling lost. Perhaps you want some guidance?” You once again glance to Sebastian who has a blank and neutral face, though a hint of red still dusts his cheeks. You nod sheepishly and she gestures to the jar of money. You get the hint and pay the price written on the sign attached to the large jar.

She takes her deck of tarot cards and starts to shuffle them. “We’ll do a simple spread of three cards; one for the past, the present, and the future.” You nod in understanding, and fold your hands in your lap. “For the first card…” She draws three cards from the deck and places them on the table in front of her. The fortune teller flips over the first card. “Reversed Four of Wands. It seems in your past you had conflict within your family; that you had some sort of constant tension with a family member that still affects you. You might need to reconcile or let go in order to help quell your inner turmoil.” You frown, fidgeting with the fabric of your hoodie.

“Now for the present.” The second card is flipped over. “Upright Four of Cups. Hm… you’re apathetic to the world around you: your life and each day wether it be good or bad. The solution to your stagnant life is in front of you. You need to take it.” A strange feeling starts to form in your gut, and you feel frightened at these words. You weren’t expecting something as silly as a tarot reading to be scarily accurate. You thought this was just for fun. The fog from the fog machines seem to be swirling even more as she continues to the final card.

“And for the final card, your future.” You feel your heartbeat start to pick up its pace, and sweat starts to form on your skin. You try to keep your breathing clam, but it’s very difficult with all the anticipation building up. You’re tempted to tell her to stop, but your curiosity is taking over. “Upright Death.” An audible gasp escapes your lips. Sebastian, who has been staring out the tent the whole time turns his head towards you with a raise of his brow. It’s obvious he doesn’t necessarily have any belief in this, but he was entertaining it just for fun.

“D-Death?” You stammer, gripping your black hoodie with white knuckles.

“Yes. Now, death is not always literal, or negative. It can mean transformation or the closing of one door and the opening of another. You may need to let go of something in order to move on and forward in your life. Welcome the change; change isn’t always bad and can lead to new and exciting opportunities in life. In a way, you can be reborn in your future, but you need to be able to let the past die in order to be reborn anew.” You feel your stomach churning and glance over at Sebastian, who’s watching you intently. His dark eyes are trained on you, but you can’t quite tell what’s going on behind them. “That is all for your reading, dear.” She turns to Sebastian. “Would you like a reading, young man?”

“No thanks, lady. I’m good.” He shakes his head, stands up, and gently grabs your wrist. “C’mon, Y/N.” You follow him out the tent but can’t help but look back over your shoulder one final time as Sebastian nearly drags you away. Your eyes train on the ominous card of death, with its skeleton reaper riding on a white horse over the graves of other once-living beings. You swear you see a black aura emanating from the card, but know in your heart its your imagination running wild.

“That was… something.” Sebastian keeps a firm hold of your wrist. You don’t even realize he’s still holding on until Abby walks up. She very obviously looks down at Sebastian’s hand around your wrist and glares up at the two of you. Your eyes dart between Sebastian and Abby, wondering if it’s weird that he was holding on to you like that. “Hey Abs.” He greets the girl who flips her beautiful purple hair behind her.

“You know how much I hate that nickname.” She side eyes him. “I was going to tell Y/N that Sam was wondering where you disappeared to. He’s getting food with Vincent right now.” She points towards Gus’ food stand and sure enough your two cousins are ordering food to share. You mutter a thanks and make a beeline for them. You could use this as an excuse to head home. You were feeling a little overwhelmed by that tarot reading, even though you felt like you shouldn’t obsess over it so much. It wasn’t real, right? It was just for fun… Whatever it was, your mood was ruined, and you didn’t want to snap at anyone on accident while in this sour mood.

“Aww, well, I hope you had fun. You’ll have to tell me about it later!” Sam smiles and hands his little brother a corndog after you let him know you’re heading home for the day. Vincent gives you a quick hug of your legs before you take off for the house. As you’re walking back you catch Abby and Sebastian sitting together at a bench, Abby sitting very close to him.

Are those two a thing or something? You shrug off the question and hurry home.

The back door shuts behind you and you zip through the kitchen to Sam’s bedroom. You change into some pajamas and lay in your bed. It was barely three in the afternoon, but you wanted to try and get a nap in before the rest of your family came home for dinner. The image of the Death tarot kept plaguing your mind. Death. The sound of the word was terrifying, for more reasons than one for you. Death seemed to follow you around. It was always lingering behind you. Death itself had taken so much from you; your passion, your love, your life. You inserted your earbuds into your ears to drown out the thoughts, and started your specially curated playlist. You shut your eyes and hope that the Death doesn’t follow you like it had done so much in the past.

Chapter Text

Abby laughed and grabbed his shoulder to steady herself. He gives a thin-lipped smile, obviously reflecting how awkward he felt at her physical contact. He’d known for a long time that his friend had a crush on him since they were young; she had always been bad at hiding it. Ever since they were in middle school she had been so obvious; when her posture became stiff at his presence, or laughing at things that weren’t necessarily that funny, or wanting to be his partner during school activities. At first he thought he liked her too, but his little crush didn’t last long. They had similar interests, sure, but it didn’t go any farther than that. He liked spending time with her and Sam; whether that was playing video games, or Solarion Chronicles, or having jam sessions at Sam’s place it was always a good time. She had always wanted more, and he never felt the same spark Abby thought was there.

On your first day back in Pelican Town he had nearly tripped up the last couple of stairs when he saw you. He didn’t think he’d ever see you again after you all graduated high school and was pleasantly surprised to see you. You had changed so much since the last time he had seen you. Sure, you had traded your usual bright colors for a dark monochromatic wardrobe, but how you held yourself also changed. You slouched and your posture was inward while your gaze was downturned. The life from your eyes was gone and seemed dull and empty. Despite this, however, his heart skipped a beat when he saw you for the first time in nearly a decade.

Sebastian was brought back to the present by Sam’s voice cutting through and he looked up to see the three of you approaching. He’d mastered the art of hiding his emotions externally, but he could never tame the butterflies in his stomach nor the way his heart would pound in his chest at the sight of you. Remembering Abby’s hand was on his shoulder he lightly shook it off and greeted Vince like he normally did, playfully jabbing at Sam while doing so. When he stands up and faces you the butterflies rage inside his gut. It always felt like it was a 50/50 chance of you agreeing to hang out with the group. Then again, it was also a game of chance whether or not he’d agree to social interaction. If you were there, though, he’d always say yes.

“Hey, Y/N. Glad you made it today.” Abby visibly stammers at his greeting, but he ignores it.  She needed to get the hint that he wasn’t interested.

“I assume you’re going to stand over in your usual spot?” His best friend looks up at him with an expectant look. Normally at all the festivals and events, sans Spirit’s Eve, he stood off by a tree or bench far away from the party and played on his phone or got a couple smokes in. He only came to appease his parents and prove them wrong in the fact that he did leave the house, he just actively chose not to most of the time.

He tries his hardest not to be obvious, but his eyes do flick to you for the briefest of a second. “Nah, I’ll follow you guys for a bit.” Abby and Sam’s face show nothing but shock at this, but you all head to play a game that Vincent was begging to try out. While the young boy was begging Sam to pay for the ring toss game, Sebastian’s eyes were set on you. It was obvious you held a soft spot for your younger cousin, and he longed for the warmth in your gaze to be trained on himself. Even now, though, he notices that though you have a smile on your face it seems disingenuous. No… it just seemed weak. Like it took all your energy to force it out. He was all too familiar with forcing smiles. He did it for several years.

The four of you cheered on Vincent as he tossed the rings to the bottles, and he is rewarded with 40 Star Tokens for the four rings he was able to land. Sebastian suddenly feels an arm hook around his as he’s being dragged by Abby away from the group. “Seb, let’s go do the fishing game together!” As she pulls him along to the booth, he looks behind his shoulder to see that no one even noticed their departure and that you had walked off to go play a game on your own. Abby pays the attendant the gold and starts to play. She’s not the best fisher, so she struggles and tries to get him to play one round. With a sigh he pays up and goes for it. He only does marginally better than her, and accepts the few Star Tokens when he’s finished. Abby, being one of the most stubborn people he knows, tries to play a couple more rounds, determined to get better.

Watching her got boring fast, so Sebastian puts his phone in his pocket and sneaks off to the ring toss game Vincent was playing. He manages to get five rings and then moves on to the Smashing Stone. Secretly he wished you were there, or at least around to watch. He was a pretty scrawny kid growing up, and after you, Sam, and him had graduated he had developed more muscle in his slender frame from working on his motorcycle and just some general workouts he started. Oh well. He thought and smashed the hammer down. The weight doesn’t quite reach the bell, but he still wins a few Star Tokens. Off to the side he can practically hear Alex’s smug smirk and he rolls his eyes as he turns to go stand by a tree for a smoke.

When he does, he notices you at Pierre’s popup shop and starts to walk towards you instead. He stands there for a moment, waiting to see if you’ll notice him or not but also to admire your slight pout of defeat when you realize you’re short tokens. He can’t help but smile playfully as he alerts you of his presence. “Thinking about getting a snack?” He gladly offers his tokens to help pay for the pepper poppers, and you both find a bench to sit at once they’re done cooking. The two of you start to have a conversation about the games you played, but he is barely focused on what you’re actually saying and is sneaking glances at you as he stares into the large crowd that makes its way through the fair.

His thoughts stray to the town’s festivals and how he usually doesn’t enjoy them. Even though he’d done lots of work on himself over the years, he still got anxious around people and crowds, especially. Most of the town thought he was just a moody emo boy, but he was honestly just anxious most of the time. A couple years before, he could barely stand being in a small crowd without feeling like he couldn’t breathe and his heart was going to explode in his chest. He’d much rather stay in his room most days, only enjoying spending time with Sam and Abby. But even then he could only handle so much time with them before feeling exhausted. Nowadays he was able to go out and about and still be able to breathe but he would still get clammy and his muscles would tense up.

“I usually don’t like going to these festivals.” He blurts, quickly glancing at you to see your reaction. “I honestly think they’re pretty stupid most of the time, but I like hanging out with Sam and Abby.” He lets out a sigh, but smiles as he does so. That was a partial lie: He didn’t think they were stupid, necessarily, but how could he explain to others that being around large groups of people made him so irritable and anxious? Most people wouldn’t understand. Though, he was proud of how far he’d come in the past eight years. “And Vince. That little guy makes it hard not to have fun.” Much like you, little Vincent held a special place in his heart. Though he had Maru, he liked being like Vince’s second older brother. Maru was great, but he’d always wanted a little brother, and Vince was his perfect opportunity to live out that dream. “And you, of course.” He needed you to know that he enjoyed your company. It was what he really needed back then, and by Yoba was he going to make sure you knew that your presence was wanted.

He notices your body slightly relax. “That’s good to hear. I was convinced you hated me when we were growing up.”

That was far from the truth.

It was true that he had always picked on you, especially when you were kids. At first, he was jealous of the attention Sam was giving you for the first couple summers you visited. Sam had moved from Zuzu City that school year and they had grown quite close over that time. When Sam had told him his cousin was coming to visit, Sebastian felt a stab of jealousy. He wanted to spend the whole summer with his new friend. “I didn’t hate you. Not even close. You were kind of easy to pick on, and I took advantage of that. I also had my own shit going on and, as kids do, I didn’t know how to deal with it.” He had struggled to adjust to his life with his new step-father and his new sister throughout their childhood, and took it out on you. There were times where he was friendly, sure, but of course you’d only remember the many times he picked on you.

“Oh.” The sudden realization in your tone made him feel pure guilt.

“I… I really wanted to be your friend, Y/N. I still do, and I hope the current me is much less of an asshole than the younger me you knew growing up.” His anxiety was flaring up. Unconsciously his leg started to bounce, and he felt his heart starting to drum hard against his ribcage. His guilt kept his eyes from meeting yours as he awaited your answer. He probably didn’t deserve your forgiveness. He was an absolute asshole to you for a vast majority of your friendship, if you could even call it that.

His muscles relax at your next words. “I can say with confidence that you’re doing a pretty good job of being better than 10 year-old-Sebastian.” You bump his knee, and he smiles at the memory of him doing the same exact thing the last time you had hung out at the saloon. But there was something else he had noticed about you. He had never heard you call him by the nickname everyone had called him. No one really called him by his full name, not even his mother. It was always some variation of “Seb.” Whether that be “Sebby” from his mom, or the occasional “Sebs” from Abby and Sam. You were the only person who ever called him by his full name.

“You never call me ‘Seb’ like everyone else does.” When your posture changes and you stammer an apology he shakes his head. “No. I like hearing you call me by my full name. Let’s dig in before these get cold.” He looks down at the styrofoam container full of the pepper poppers that had cooled down during your conversation.

When the two of you have finished and the trash has been put away, he stands awkwardly in front of you and waits for you to say something. You get the hint and when you ask if he wants to do do anything with you, he feels warm inside. He glances around the fair really quick and sees the fortune teller. Normally he wouldn’t suggest it, but it seems like something you would enjoy so you head over.

The tent is dark and smoky from a fog machine, with sheer fabric draped from the ceiling of the tent. There are crystals lining the table, along with a jar full of gold coins and a deck of cards off to the side. The woman behind the table greets them in a mysterious and raspy voice, waving her hands around in the air to sell her act. Sebastian is paying no mind, not really much of a “believer” like Abby was in this spiritual stuff. “Welcome, welcome. Are we here to receive a reading? Perhaps about your relationship?” She looks between the two of you and he glances to you. You have a look of panic, but he doesn’t mind being mistaken for your boyfriend. He’ll enjoy what little fantasies he can. Despite this, though, his cheeks do turn flush from the thought. She laughs and claims she was kidding, but he can’t help but catch an almost unnoticeable glance in his direction from the woman.

After you pay she goes through with the tarot card reading, and he scrolls on his phone. He tunes out most of the fortune teller’s words, not having any interest until he hears the word death. He looks up from his phone and stares at you. You were distraught, to say the least. Who wouldn’t? The word death strikes fear in most normal people, and its implications on a fortune reading is ominous and foreboding. The fortune teller goes on to say that you needed to welcome change, and let the past die. He wasn’t sure what you had been through before you moved here, but he had a feeling that the fortune teller’s words might actually be sound advice. He’s brought out of his thoughts when the woman behind the table asks if he wanted a reading.

He declines, but grabs your wrist gently; slightly upset at how you were obviously spooked by the final card that was drawn. “C’mon, Y/N.” He pulls you away from the fortune reader’s tent, noticing you looking over your shoulder. “That was… something.” Sebastian holds on to your wrist even as you’ve put distance between you and the fortune teller’s mysterious tent. He could easily slip his hand into yours at this moment. He wanted to. So bad. He also, however, didn’t want to make you uncomfortable for his silly desires…

Then Abby appeared out of nowhere.

Her eyes look directly at his hand around your wrist and she doesn’t even try to hide her frown. “Hey, Abs.” Sebastian greets while she dramatically flips her hair over her shoulder.

“You know how much I hate that nickname.” She side eyes him and continues, letting you know that your cousin was looking for you. As you slipped your wrist from his hand, he almost reaches out again just to feel the warmth of your skin against his once more. He didn’t realize how much he’d miss it, but he holds himself back. He catches a glimpse of your face, and though it seems to be stoic as always, he can tell by your stiff posture and the slight furrow in your brow that you are bothered by something. He can’t tell if it’s because of Abby’s conspicuous reaction to the two of you together or perhaps the fortune teller’s ominous words.

“Seb, let’s sit.” Abby takes his arm before he can decline, and he lets out a sigh. He puts his hands in his pockets and crosses his legs as he takes a seat. Abby plops down next to him and scoots incredibly close to him where their legs are brushing. “I was thinking…” she starts in a sing-songy voice, “we should hang out together! We could play some video games or watch a movie. We haven’t really done that in awhile.” He knew she was trying to get a chance to spend time alone with him. Normally he’d entertain the idea simply because she was his friend and he did enjoy hanging out with her, but this time he wanted to decline. The image of your weak smile flashes in his mind.

“Sure, we can have Sam and Y/N over at my place for Mario Kart or Smash Brothers.” Her eyes dims in disappointment, but she keeps her smile plastered on. Before she can attempt to ask him again, he stands up. “I’ll see you later, Abby. I gotta head home and get some work done for a project.” She waves, stands up, and joins Sam and Vincent at another bench. Sebastian turns to go back towards the path to his house, but pauses as he looks over his shoulder to the fortune teller’s tent. His curiosity was eating at him.

No. He looks back towards the path ahead and takes another step before freezing in place. He didn’t believe anything about tarot card readings. They were just shuffled cards, how could they really tell you about your life, your past, or your future? “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Sebastian shakes his head and turns to walk on the perimeter of the fair to not be seen by his friends.

He enters the tent again and the woman behind the table has her back turned. He opens his mouth to greet her, but she cuts him off. “So you’ve returned for a reading after all, dear?”

“Thought I’d support our local businesses.” He sits himself down on one of the cushions and puts some gold, and then some, into the jar. The woman chuckles and turns around to face him, shuffling the deck of cards between her hands.

“Now, sweetie, what are you seeking to learn today? I had a feeling you would be stopping by again.”

Why am I here? He avoids the woman’s gaze and stuffs his hands in his pockets; a habit he gained from avoiding biting his fingernails. What do I want to know? He didn’t know why he came here in the first place. Normally he wouldn’t bother interacting with people, let alone by himself. It was something he avoided at all costs, yet here he was; braving an awkward encounter.

“I have a feeling it has something to do with your pretty friend you brought in earlier.” Sebastian’s face reddens and his grip on the inside of his pant pockets tightens. “So, I’m correct?” Another chuckle escapes her lips. “No need to feel embarrassed, dear. Let us begin.” Sebastian keeps his gaze averted as she draws the first card. His eyes stay trained on the walls of the tent with a slight furrow in his brow. He hears the card being drawn and placed on the table and his curiosity gets the best of him as he glances in the corner of his eye to see what has been drawn.

“Reversed Five of Wands… You seem to be avoiding conflict, my dear. Avoiding such conflicts can and will lead to bubbling resentment.”

Seems pretty vague… He mentally shrugs and allows her to move on to the next card.

“Reversed Queen of Pentacles.” She looks up to Sebastian and studies his face closely, her eyes squinting the longer she stares. From the corner of his eye he can feel her piercing gaze on him, but he continues to avoid her eyes. “This usually signifies greed, or perhaps… jealousy…” Her eyes bore into Sebastian and he turns his head ever so slightly to return her gaze. “I don’t sense it from you but definitely someone close to you.” Her fingers stroke her chin while she thinks hard.

Okay… that’s a little more specific to Abby. Sebastian’s brows furrow more as his eyes slowly widen at the realization.

“So, you know exactly who I’m talking about then? I have a feeling they’re linked to the conflict you’re avoiding.” She nods slowly a few times before reaching to the deck for one more card. “And for your final card,” she draws it, takes a smile, and places it down on the table, “The Lovers, in the upright position.” Sebastian’s eyes move from the card to the fortune teller, awaiting her explanation. “This can mean that your relationship is compatible, that you have cohesive energies. It can also signify choice and your commitment to love, my dear. It doesn’t have to be a person; it can be between love and, let’s say, your career, or love and family, or love and friendship.” Sebastian inhales sharply at this, and the fortune teller smiles warmly. “Fret not, the cards do not decide fate, they just help us open our eyes to the possibilities and perhaps things we didn’t notice before.”

Sebastian moves to stand. “Uh, thanks…” He moves towards the exit and freezes when he hears the final words of the fortune teller.

“I wish you the best of luck, my dear. You’re going to need it.”

Left with those mysterious words, Sebastian retreats back home to attempt to distract himself with his work. It doesn’t work—thoughts and images of you keep popping up in his mind—but he tries to convince himself it does.

Chapter Text

A few days after the festival, you’re having a bad day. Nothing really happened, but you just felt like absolute shit. Sam had invited you to take a walk with him, but you just weren’t feeling it. Not even Vince’s adorableness could coax you from bed. You skipped breakfast, and went out for a snack at lunch only to go straight back to bed. Your day consisted mostly of scrolling your phone and half-laughing at funny videos. Your muscles ached from laying all day, but you didn’t have the energy to get up.

Finally, right around dinner time, you hear a knock on the door. “Y/N? Can I come in?” It was Jodi. You give a gruff “yes” and hear the door swing open as you sit up on the air mattress. She held an aged sealed envelope in her hands as she carefully stepped into the room, shutting the door behind her. “Hey, sweetie. You haven’t left the room nearly all day. I’m worried…” Your eyes are heavy with exhaustion. It was tiring trying to power through a day where you wanted to do absolutely nothing.

“Yeah. I just don’t feel well.”

“I made some spaghetti for dinner tonight, your favorite.” She smiles sweetly and you can’t help but feel a little bit of warmth in your heart at the kind gesture. “It’s Gus’ recipe, but I can’t make it as great as him, no matter how hard I try.” Your aunt’s face crinkles as she chuckles under breath. She moves to Sam’s bed and takes a seat, still holding that peculiar envelope. She sees you eyeing it and holds it up. “This is for you, actually.” You take the envelope from her and see that it’s addressed to you in very well-written cursive.

As you tear it open, you can feel Jodi’s eyes looking over your shoulder trying to see your reaction. Folded up inside is a letter as well as another document. The paper felt thicker, more official, and you knew this was important. You decide to read the letter first.

Dear Y/N,

If you're reading this, you must be in dire need of a change. The same thing happened to me, long ago. I'd lost sight of what mattered most in life... real connections with other people and nature. So I dropped everything and moved to the place I truly belong.

It is here in town where I met my wife and we started a long life of love and hard work to keep the farm thriving. By now she and I have passed, and due to us not having any kin, we decided to leave the farm to you. Seeing glimpses of you grow up over the years made us regret not having children of our own. If they were to grow up to be just like you we would’ve been the proudest of parents. Though we are not related by blood, we consider you to be like our own granddaughter.

It is because of this that we leave the deed of the farm to you. Do with it what you wish, but see it as an opportunity to start over.

Much love,

Gramps and Granny

As you finish reading the letter, you feel tears forming on your eyes. You had never been close to your own grandparents growing up. Your father’s parents were fairly old, with him being the youngest of his siblings, and died when you were very young. Your mother’s parents had little to no contact with her before you were born, and in turn caused you to have no relationship with them. You had attached yourself to Gramps and Granny real quick when Jodi and Kent would take you on little field trips to the farm when you were in about 5th grade. When you were old enough to start helping them, you volunteered your time in order to learn more about farming. It’d intrigued you and though it was hard work, you enjoyed it.

You shuffle the letter behind the other sheet of paper that was folded up with it and read through the words written on the page. It was the deed to the farm, and all the land that it constituted. After the shock had passed, a sudden wave of some unknown emotion causes you to become very overwhelmed. The responsibility of running a farm terrified you. You knew very little about managing one. You had no desire to raise cattle or sell crops.

You feel a warm hand rest itself on your shoulder, and look up to see Jodi’s motherly gaze. You know whatever you choose to do that she will support you. She always has. “The old couple at the farm gave me that shortly before they had passed. Told me specifically to give it to you.” You set the papers down and rub the tears slowly rolling down your cheeks. “I know you’ve gone through so much. You’ve been so strong to make it here today. It hurts me to see you in such a slump, but this is an opportunity for you to restart.” It is then that you are reminded of the fortune teller from the festival.

Death: A rebirth. Transformation. Out with the old, and in with the new.

Your chance was here, right in front of you. You just needed to take it.

Your rationale starts to return, and you nod. “I think that’s a good idea.” Jodi’s smile brightens at this, and she gently squeezes your shoulder.

“We can talk to Lewis about the details in the morning. Let’s have some dinner; Sam should be home any minute now.” Sam had taken two weeks off for your arrival and to help you get settled in, but had to return to working shifts at the town’s Joja Mart. As if you had summoned him from saying his name, you hear the front door open and shut before Sam’s voice calls out a greeting. “Let’s share the good news with him.” Jodi stands and holds out a hand to you to help pull you up.

She greets her son with a hug and quick kiss on his cheek before asking him to get his brother washed up for dinner. She serves four bowls of warm spaghetti at the table and sits with a proud smile as the boys settle in. “Sam, how was work today?” She starts and starts to twirl pasta around her fork.

“Oh, you know, same as always; boring.” He shrugs. “But money is money.” Jodi nods and glances at you expectantly. You felt a pit in your stomach grow at the thought of sharing the news, but you were eager to share some positivity for once.

“Um, I have something to share.” You speak up and your family’s eyes land on you. Sam, though tired, smiles encouragingly, and his little brother’s big childish eyes are set on you. “I’m… going to be moving onto the old farm.” You pull out the letter and deed from where it was hiding under your leg on the chair with a half smile. Sam’s eyes close as he shouts an exclamation. Vince looks a little confused, and a little sad, at the news but imitates his brother with a smile. “I don’t know when, but as of today I’ve made the decision.” The rest of dinner you are in a much lighter mood than you had been all day and have a great time helping Jodi clean up the kitchen.

As you and Sam settle into bed for the night, you hear him roll over to face your direction from his bed. You turn to face him and see the bright smile lighting up his face, and you’re surprised it didn’t literally light up his bedroom. “You’re going to be a farmer. Who’da thought?” You hear a light laugh and chuckle with him. “If you need any help, Seb, Abby, and I can lend a hand.” He offers and your smile beams back at him.

You were excited. For the first time in a very long time you felt excited for something happening in your life.

Lewis was surprised, but also ecstatic, that someone would be taking over the old farm. He had forgotten that the deed had been signed over to you a couple years ago. After making things official, he hands you the keys to the farm and walks with you to the property. On the way over, he talks about how Robin would be more than happy to help make any repairs on the cabin, and any other carpentry needs you would need. You already knew that the land was overgrown, and that you would have lots of work to do before winter hit, but the prospect of this project brought you a little hope. Maybe this is what the fortune teller meant about death being a good thing?

When you arrive, it looks just like it did the night you came here with Abby. It actually looks a lot more desolate in the daytime. The two of you make your way up the stairs to the cabin, and you unlock the front door. It swings open and you see a layer of dust get blown away and you can see bits of dust float in the stagnant air of the dark farm house. Even with the sun out, it’s pretty dim, and you hesitantly take a step inside.

It’s quaint, and quite small. You never really spent time in the farmhouse, but the few times you had, you remembered that Granny and Gramps weren’t much for a materialistic lifestyle, and much preferred putting their energy towards their farm. In the far corner is a cute brick fireplace, and you see a wooden bed frame to the right of the front door. On the floor by the back window is a dusty old TV. You hoped it still worked. You knew you had your work cut out for you; you’d definitely be asking Jodi to help with cleaning up the inside of the cabin. Her home was always pristine and spotless, if you didn’t count the boys’ rooms.

“I’ll call up Robin today to see about getting this floor fixed.” Lewis points to the wooden floor that had a couple holes in it from age. “Don’t worry about the cost, it’ll be covered by the Agricultural Fund; there’s still money left over from before. I’ll also ask her to take a look at the whole farmhouse and fix anything that needs fixing.” You nod, wondering how long it will take her to get everything done. You were eager to move in.

As if he was reading your mind, Lewis adds, “I’m no carpenter, but depending on the other repairs that need to get done it might take a few weeks. We’ll try to get you moved in before winter hits.”

“That would be great.” You take one more look inside the dark farmhouse before closing the door behind you. Lewis walks you through the property, pointing out the old decrepit greenhouse and cave in the cliff. He also talks about the drop box, explaining that whenever you want to sell any of your goods he will come by at the end of the day and sell your items for you, leaving the money in your mailbox for the next morning.

“That path,” he points to the northern path that climbs up towards the mountain, “actually leads straight to Robin’s house in the mountains. It’s a little icy in the winter, so be careful.” The two of you walk back to the east entrance of the farm and head into town. You chat more about logistics and some resources you can use for when you move in. The library had plenty of books on farming and other aspects of managing a farm that he recommended you read.

It’s about lunch time by the time you finish meeting with Lewis, so you stroll into the kitchen from the back door with a pep in your step. Jodi notices your energetic entrance and greets you with a smile. “How did it go?”

“Great, I’m excited. Robin has to do some work on the farmhouse before I can move in, though.” Just as you finish, your phone starts to ring. You look at the screen and don’t recognize the number, but pick it up.

“Y/N? Sorry for calling so suddenly, this is Robin. Lewis just told me you’re going to be moving onto the old farm. Congrats!” You smile and thank her. “He filled me in on the state of the farmhouse. I’ll be going over there in a few minutes to start surveying it myself. I’ll give you an estimate on how long it’ll take me when I do. I’ll let you go, though. Congrats again!” You say your goodbye’s and hang up. Jodi pulls a chair out for you to sit, and serves you some leek soup for your lunch.

Robin started work the day after she called you. She let you know that the state of the farmhouse wasn’t terrible, but she was going to go ahead and update and fix some parts of the house that could use some TLC so you wouldn’t have to worry about it later. You were grateful, and hopeful that she’d be able to get it all done in the two-week estimate she gave. Now you just had to wait.

Since Sam was working again, you didn’t get to see him as often during the week. You both tried to hang out when you could, but you were starting to feel lonely. You started to take walks in the woods (during the daytime, for once), and met the woman who lived in the cabin by the ranch one Saturday evening. It was when you were walking the path from Sam’s house to the woods, and you caught her as she was exiting out her front door. You didn’t notice her at first, but she greets you with a sweet smile, nearly dropping the supplies in her hands. While she balances her things in her arms, she flips her braided ginger hair behind her and blows some stray hair from her face.

“Hey there! I don’t think we’ve formally met, but I’ve seen you around town. You must be the newcomer, Y/N?” You couldn’t get over how beautiful this woman was; with her minimal makeup and simple hairstyle she was effortlessly gorgeous. She was fairly young, maybe a little older than you if you were to go off of looks. She just seemed to have some maturity about her that you felt you lacked. You nod and she tries to hold out a hand for you to shake, dropping what you recognize as art supplies all over the ground. “Ah! Sorry, I thought I could get away without carrying all this in my bag. I’m Leah!” You scramble to the floor to help her pick up her stray pencils.

“Y/N. So… you’re an artist?” You venture and remember how much you hate small talk; but this was a topic you were quite literally an expert in.

“Yeah! I see my reputation precedes me.” She chuckles, and you keep it to yourself that you recognized all her supplies in her hands—and that you could spot a fellow artist from a mile away. “I moved here fairly recently, too. I used to live in Zuzu City.”

“Oh, I did too. Years ago.”

She gasps lightly. “No way! Small world. I came out here to work on my art, and I love the atmosphere of this small town.” It definitely was better than Zuzu, at least in your opinion. Anywhere was better than Zuzu. “Well, it was nice bumping into you, Y/N! I hope to see you around.” She waves and walks off in the direction of the woods. You guessed she was probably going to be doing some drawing for the next hour or so. It’s what you used to do when you went to college. Whenever you had down time on campus you would find somewhere to sit and start sketching.

When would you ever start creating more art again? You’d been asking yourself this for the past several years now. The last time you made anything was before that happened. You still had all your art materials packed away up in Jodi’s attic, but after all that happened you couldn’t bring yourself to create anymore. Many people use art as an outlet to express their emotions and experiences, but what do you create if you feel empty and nothingness most of the time? What if you don’t want to create anything that could act as a reminder of something so cruel and painful?

You wanted to go home and curl up for a nap, but Sebastian and Abby were hanging out in Sam’s room having a jam sesh. You couldn’t really handle any social interaction right now. You shoot Sam a text asking when they’d be done. It takes a while to get a response, probably because they’re busy playing and jamming together, but he answers with 6:30 PM. That gave you plenty of time to nap in the woods instead.

A day or two later you ran into Leah again as she’s making her way into town. She greets you and you can’t help but wonder what she has planned for today; so you ask. “Oh, I was going to do some drawing over by the river in town today.”

“Cool. I-I used to do a lot of art, I actually have a degree in it, funny enough, but I stopped for… personal reasons.” You scratch the back of your neck. What were you saying? If someone had said this to you, you’d just nod politely and say something along the lines of “wow!” or “I see.”

Leah’s head tilts in curiosity. “Really? That’s a shame. If you ever want some motivation and want to work with me, you should totally stop by the cabin! It’s nice to know a fellow artist is town.”

“I think I’d really like that.” You nod and she has a look as if she wants to say more, but she’s thinking hard. You must’ve had an extra somber look on your face because she nods her head towards town and invites you to join her. You mill over the idea for a moment, and sigh. “Yeah, it wouldn’t hurt to watch you draw.” Leah gives an excited jump and matches your stride on the way into town.

“So, a degree in art? That’s no easy feat.” She starts with an impressed voice. “What’s your preferred medium?”

“I actually really like to make collages, but I started out with drawing in my sketchbook as a kid.”

Leah chuckles. “That seems to be a universal experience, I swear. A kid lugging around their sketchbook wherever they go. I was the same way.” She trades a glance with you from the corner of her eyes. “I dabble in a couple things, but lately I’ve been doing a lot of sculpture work. I also paint and draw. The atmosphere and landscape here is wonderful to capture.” Now that you thought about it more; she was right. You had always admired all the nature that surrounded Pelican Town, even if you hadn’t really thought about it from an artist’s perspective. You loved sitting at the edge of the dock and watching the ocean waves hit the shore, the sea foam bubbling with each crash. The woods in the fall was much more beautiful than the summers that you were used to; the transformation from green to yellows and oranges seemed to catch your eye more. The night sky was your favorite. Back in the city you lived in prior, all the lights made it difficult to see the stars, but you could see the stars every night here, as long as it wasn’t cloudy.

The two of you arrive at a tree by the blacksmith and library and take a seat in the grass. To your left you see the empty ice cream stand that you remember being open during the summers. You loved getting ice cream and as a young child would always beg Uncle Kent to get you one.

Leah spreads out a small cloth to her side and sets her pencils and erasers down on it. She flips her sketchbook open to a page with some other sketches already etched in and looks up at Lewis’ house. Without a word she starts to draw out the basic shapes. As you watch her you look at the other sketches on the page, and notice that they are of other citizens of Pelican Town, along with a detailed pencil drawing of the fish shop.

Watching her work makes you wish you could pick up a pencil again. You’d tried in the past, but always froze over the sheet of paper you had in front of you. The sketchbook you had at the time was only half full before you had given up drawing. It remained half-empty for the past three years. You knew exactly which tote it was packed in up in the attic of Sam’s house. You could easily go grab it and start drawing with her, but as you watched her drawing come more to life you started to feel self-conscious. She was a very talented artist. The sketch of the mayor’s manor was coming together, and you could start seeing the fine details. You hadn’t realized how long you were sitting there watching her draw until your phone buzzed.

It was Jodi, asking you if you would be home for dinner.

“Hey, Leah, I gotta head back for dinner.” You go to stand up and she shakes her head, coming out of her hyperfocused trance. “It was nice watching you draw, it looks great.” You gesture with your head to the sketchbook in her hands.

“Thanks for joining me! It was nice having company. I mean this: you should totally come visit me in my cabin sometime! It can get a little lonely living all by myself, and maybe we can do some paint and wine together!” You wave with a small smile and head back home.

At dinner that night, Sam pesters you about your day and you talk about how you ran into Leah. “She’s very good at drawing.”

“Oh? The lady that lives in the cabin by Marnie’s? I’ve seen her around town and at the saloon, but I’ve never talked to her.”

“She’s very nice.” You happily munch down on your meal. “She invited me to come paint with her some time.” The uncertainty in your voice is apparent, because Jodi chimes in.

“I think you should! I miss seeing your artwork, and I’m sure it will be a good time.”

Silence settles between the four of you, but not for long because Vincent pipes up excitedly, “Y/N, are you going to dress up for Spirit’s Eve?” You had totally forgotten that was this Saturday. You hadn’t done anything for Spirit’s Eve in years; especially since you didn’t really hang out with anyone back then. You had gone to a couple parties over the years in college, but after you graduated you didn’t do much.

“I don’t really have a costume, buddy.” You try to say it lightly. It wasn’t a “no,” but it definitely wasn’t a “yes.”

“Tell her what your costume’s gonna be.” Sam nudges his brother lightly.

Vince’s chest puffs out. “I’m going to be a superhero!” With this he suddenly stands up on his chair and strikes a triumphant pose with his fists resting on his hips as he looks up and out with a smirk. Jodi scolds him for standing on his chair, but can’t help smiling at his proud look. “You can be my sidekick!” He exclaims as he sits back down.

“I don’t know… What if I dress up like a zombie or skeleton? That’s pretty festive, right?” It was something that was easy, and you really only had to do some face paint or makeup to achieve the look. Vince whines at this, but after some talking you manage to convince him it’s a good idea. Sam says he always goes as a mummy; all he has to do is wrap himself in several feet of gauze wrap and boom: mummy.

After dinner you take one quick walk out in the dark, then head to bed. Your phone buzzes and you check to see if it can wait for the morning or not.

Sebastian 9:40 PM

So, mom told me you’re moving onto

the old farm?

You  9:40 PM

Yup.

I won’t be able to move in for another

couple weeks though.  

You 9:41 PM

Your mom has some work to do on the

farmhouse.

Sebastian 9:45 PM

We should celebrate when you move in.

That’s a pretty big achievement :)

Only if you want to, though. I know

how stressful parties can be.

You 9:45 PM

I think it’d be fun, if I get to hang out with

y’all, I’ll be fine. :)

Sebastian 9:46 PM

Oh yeah, we usually hang out for Spirit’s

Eve. You coming?

It’s the only festival I actually like.

You 9:47 PM

I think Vince will throw a fit if I don’t spend

time with him, so yeah; I’ll be there.

Sebastian 9:47 PM

Sweet. We’ll have to make sure to get

tons of candy for him. :)

You 9:50 PM

For sure.

I’m actually going to head to bed for

now. Night, Sebastian. See you Saturday.

You set your phone to the side of your bed, double checking it’s plugged into the charger, and start to fall asleep. Your final thoughts rest on the prospect of moving onto the farm, and you drift into a peaceful slumber with a small smile. Things were starting to look up for you, even if you had a long road of hard work ahead of you.

Chapter Text

Spirit’s Eve was getting closer and closer, and you could feel the spirit buzzing in the air. The town was slowly being decorated throughout the week for the festivities on Saturday. Many pumpkins were piled by lampposts or benches, and some were even carved into Jack-O-Lanterns. Sam mentioned that Abby loved to make Jack-O-Lanterns, so most of them were probably made by her and her mom. Jodi had planned on baking some pies for the feast, so the kitchen was taken over by pumpkins, apples, and bags of pecans. Vincent was bugging you everyday about your costume, and you insisted that you didn’t need to do much; just some makeup or face paint on the day of.

All the decorations and spirit for the upcoming festival made you want to wander the town more at night. You were walking up the path past the Community Center towards the mountains, and had to take the long way around due to the area outside the community center being used for the Spirit’s Eve festival for Saturday. You weren’t sure what it was going to be, but were eager to see what would be erected the day of the festival.

As you pass Robin’s house, you look up to Sebastian’s usual spot and notice it’s being occupied. He looks up from his phone at the sound of your soft footsteps and smiles while taking a drag from his cigarette. “Hey there, Farmer.” He teases and you sharply exhale from your nose in amusement.

“I’m not a farmer yet.”

“But you will be.” He drops his cigarette to the ground and digs his heel into it to snuff it out. While he’s picking it up to throw in his mini trash can he continues. “Mom told me the news. She’s been working pretty hard to help get the farmhouse to tip top shape.”

You knew. You had wandered over there a few times to see her progress; you were much too eager to move in. Sometimes you stopped to chat with her, but most times you didn’t bother her and just watched for a brief moment. You had also found some of Gramps’ old tools and started to slowly clear away weeds and grass. “Yeah, I’ve caught her a few times while walking over there.” You feel yourself shift on your feet awkwardly once a silence settles between the two of you. You weren’t quite sure how to go on with the conversation, and you were hoping you weren’t boring the guy.

He inhales sharply. “So… you excited for the Spirit’s Eve festival?”

“It’s hard not to be with Vincent bothering me about it everyday.” You chuckle and Sebastian joins you.

“Yeah. That kid loves candy a little too much. I’m pretty excited.” He ducks bashfully and scratches the back of his neck. This was a surprising statement; you knew how much Sebastian despised all the events the town put on every season. He’d said so for the Fair, and Sam had told you to don’t mind his moody-ness during them. He did mention the other day that it was the only festival he liked, you wanted to know why.

“I thought you said you hated the festivals?”

“Well, most of them, yeah. I hate being around large groups of people for too long, but this one’s an exception. I get to dress up in a fun costume and, uh,” He stops, obviously debating whether or not he wants to divulge whatever’s holding him up. “I really like to see the skeleton display.”

This piques your interest. “A skeleton display?” He seems to brighten up at your interest and stands up a little taller. You notice him fidgeting with the sleeve of his hoodie as he speaks.

“Y-yeah. It’s pretty cool; they look so realistic when they move. I can show you when the festival starts tomorrow.” He smiles, causing his eyes to shut as he once again scratches the back of his neck. “Anyway… how have you been? Settling in okay?”

You nod. “Everyone has been kind enough. A little too nosey for my liking, though.” You sigh and realize the bluntness of what you just said. “B-but not everyone! Sam and Aunt Jodi have been taking care of me, and I enjoy the time I get to spend with the friend group.”

He gives a couple small nods. “Good to hear…” The silence falls between you again. You want to go about your original plan to sit on the small wooden bridge in the lake, but you don’t quite want to just leave him yet.

“I was going to go sit on that bridge in the lake. Want to join me?” You rock back and forth on your feet and he agrees. The two of you walk in silence, and as you take a few steps on the wooden bridge that leads to the small island in the lake, you hear the wood creaking under both your weight. You sit with your feet dangling over the edge and tilt your head towards the sky, closing your eyes to take in the night breeze. Sebastian sits next to you and starts to scroll on his phone. If it were anyone else, you’d feel self-conscious about the fact that they were scrolling down their phone the whole time, but you enjoyed these quiet moments with him. He seemed to understand you a little more in this aspect.

He does end up speaking up several minutes into sitting there, though. “Hey, Y/N?” You hum an acknowledgement and he gulps lightly. “I… I know I was a jerk to you a lot when we were kids. I don’t think I ever apologized for that.” You sit up and place your hands in your lap. “I know I tended to tease you a little too much. I hope I can make it up to you while you’re living here now.”

“Seriously; it’s fine, Sebastian. You were a kid then, and you’re a totally different person now; I can tell.” You take a deep breath, wondering if you should go on. “You’ve been nothing but kind to me since I showed up. I also like that we can just sit around and do nothing together. Some people here in this town are too noisy for my liking.” You chuckle, hoping to make the statement a little more lighthearted than it’s harsh connotations.

“That’s… really good to hear.” He looks down at his hands with a small smile, and you both sit just a little longer on the bridge in your comfortable silence. After awhile he stands up. “I’m going to head back. I have some things to work on tonight. It was nice seeing you, Farmer.” His voice is more playful when he calls you by the new nickname and you can’t help but look at him with a “really?” look.

“Good night, Emo Boy.”

“Hey,” he shakes his head, “only I get to refer to myself as Emo Boy, but for you I’ll make an exception.” Your stomach is suddenly filled with butterflies and you turn to avoid his gaze on you. “Good night, Y/N.” He waves and saunters back to his house with his hands stuffed in his pockets. You sigh, feeling the butterflies leave shortly after his exit, and chalk it up to your normal anxiety flaring up. You don’t stick around too much longer and stand up to walk back home.

The next day you helped Jodi in the kitchen, baking several pies for the festival that night. Vincent kept begging you to play with him, but you sadly had to tell him that it had to wait, or to ask his brother. He was pretty adamant on spending time with you, though, and sat in the kitchen at the table as you and your aunt prepared all the different pies. This took a big chunk of your day, and by the time you were done it was nearing the start of the festival.

Your phone had several messages in the group chat about meeting up, but you still had to get your skeleton face paint ready. You already had a hoodie with a skeleton ribcage, you decided to do that for your costume. Vincent was also insistent that you help him out with his costume. This kid had grown really attached to you ever since you moved in. His own brother seemed to be chopped liver sometimes, but Sam didn’t mind. He always had that warm smile on his face and seemed grateful that Vince was close to you.

“Ready to go?” Sam knocks on the bathroom door as you’re putting the finishing touches on your makeup. It was very similar to painting on a canvas, so you were able to use your very rusty painting skills to transform your face into a skull. As an answer to his question, you open the bathroom door to meet him with the final product on your face. His eyes go wide, obviously impressed with your handiwork. “Dang, Y/N, that looks awesome!” He was all wrapped up in bandages to resemble a mummy, and Vince stood close to him with his super hero cape and mask on his face.

“Whoah, Y/N!” The small boy exclaims, and takes your hand to tug you towards the kitchen. You and your family all take a pie or two and walk out the back door and towards the plaza. Four large tables are set up with drinks and food on each for people to enjoy; decorated with pumpkins and Jack-O-Lanterns. Lanterns on the outskirts of the plaza dimly lit up the night, adding to the spooky atmosphere. Several of the other townspeople are already at the tables munching on all the different foods and treats brought for the potluck.

Vincent runs off to find his best friend, Jas, not before Jodi firmly tells him to stay away from the Haunted Maze. After setting up the pies you and your cousin decide to walk off to the side to wait for Abby and Sebastian. After a few minutes of sitting on one of the benches your two friends stroll up together. The four of you exchange greetings, and you get a look at their costumes. Abby is dressed up as a cute witch with a large hat. Her outfit was adorable, and she was definitely putting in more effort than your own costume with her accessories and overall clothing choice. Sebastian was dressed as the classic vampire, with a high collar and even fangs.

“You really went all out.” You can’t help but chuckle and he flashes his fake fangs.

“I told you, it’s my favorite festival.”

Sam looks between the two of you with a strange look, though it’s hard to catch with how wrapped up he was. “Doesn’t Y/N’s face paint look awesome?” He pipes up. Abby weakly agrees, seemingly distracted by something. Sebastian takes a step closer to get a better look at it, and you are thankful you have the makeup on or else the blush on your cheeks would be very visible.

“You did this all by yourself?” His eyes lock with yours and you feel your heart beat a million times faster. You reply with a quiet “yeah” and pull at the hem of your sweater nervously the longer he looks over your work. “It looks great.” His face was close enough where you could see that he even put on some pale face paint on his own face to make him look as white as a sheet. His dark eyes stay on yours for an indeterminate amount of time before you both hear Abby clear her throat obnoxiously. He stands back up and stuffs his hands in his pockets before looking away and walking to Sam’s side.

After you all admire one another’s costumes you all decide to get some food before participating in the festivities. There were bowls of candy on each table as well, and you knew that Jas and Vincent would be stuffing them into their bags to take home with them. “Ahhh,” Abby eyes the blueberry cobbler with an almost ravenous hunger, “my favorite!” She takes a very generous piece of the cobbler while also taking some regular food. Sam teases her and they start to bicker off to the side.

Sebastian nudges you with his elbow as you walk down the line of food at the table. “Did Jodi make the pies again?”

You nod. “Yeah, I spent all day making them with her.” You notice him eagerly grab a slice of apple pie before moving on, and you suddenly feel self-conscious; worrying and hoping he enjoys it. You all sit down and start munching away. Abby is sitting to your left edge of the square table, Sebastian right next to you, and Sam to his right on the right edge.

You all are too focused on eating for the most part, until Sebastian asks you, “Have you tried the pumpkin soup? Mom made it; it’s the best.” You’d never had it before, even when you were kids. It seemed to be more of a fall item and you were always here in the summers. “Would you like to try some?” He gently pushes the pumpkin-shaped bowl towards you as an offering, and you take a small spoonful of the soup.

The warm liquid hits your tongue and you instantly let out a hum in delight. “That’s really good.”

“Want me to get you some?” Sebastian is about ready to get up and you nod, giving a small thanks as he walks off. When you look back to your cousin you see him squinting his eyes with a mischievous smile. You raise a brow at him and he just keeps this face plastered on.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He says in a way that obviously isn’t “nothing.”

“So, Y/N,” Abby starts and it almost sounds like she’s gritting her teeth, “you’re moving onto the old farm?”

Damn, word travels fast in a small town. “Y-yeah; how’d you know?”

“Oh, I go over to Sebastian’s place a lot and was talking with his mom.” Her tone was strange. She stated it so matter-of-factly that you couldn’t help but wonder why the sudden change in tone. “She told me all about it. I guess my hangout spot will be gone.” She crosses her arms with a playful pout.

“You can always visit; though it probably won’t be as scary at night any more.” You laugh nervously and she nods cooly. Sebastian returns shortly after with a bowl of soup and places it next to your plate. You thank him and don’t notice Abby’s jaw tense up at the sight.

Sam definitely does, though, and continues to keep the conversation light between the four of you. “So, how about that haunted maze? Anyone want to try it this year?”

Abby doesn’t wait a beat before answering. “I don’t know, Seb and I usually don’t do that kind of stuff, right?” She leans forward on the table with her elbow, resting her chin in her hand.

Sebastian shrugs. “Well what about you, Farmer? You’ve never been in town for Spirit’s Eve, so we can do what you want to do.”

To your left Abby’s attention snaps to him, her brow raised in confusion. “Farmer?”

Sebastian shrugs. “Yeah, she’s going to be moving on the farm, so I call her Farmer now.”

“It’s fitting, I love it! You know we had a nickname for her before—”Sam chimes in, and you give him a pointed look before he can bring back the old nickname from your childhood. He thinks twice before moving on with the conversation “That’s a great idea. The maze that is. People think that the wizard who lives in the tower in the woods makes the maze every year. It’s pretty scary! No one’s ever really gotten to the end to find the prize.” He looks to you to listen to your decision, and you bite your lip as they all wait.

After letting your heart pound a few times in your chest, you shrug. “Let’s finish eating, I’ll figure something out when we’re done.” The four of you eat your meals until your plates and bowls are squeaky clean, and Sam collects your dishes.

As he walks off Sebastian leans his elbow on the table and in turn his cheek on his hand. He’s got a slight smile at the corner of his mouth. “So: Decide on what you want to do?” You let him know that you want to save the maze for last, and you could walk around the area for the party games that were set up around the town plaza. There was apple bobbing, balloon darts, and more, and you sat to the side and watched the other three attempt the games with a ghost of a smile on your face.

Though you were smiling, something in you was… off. You didn’t feel like you should be enjoying these small moments. That you didn’t deserve it. You were just boring Sam and the others and they were only trying to be nice to you out of pity. Your thoughts start to spiral and start feeling self-conscious about yourself. Your outfit. Your voice. The way you laugh. Everything. You were definitely not someone they should be hanging out with…

The vibration of your phone in your pocket pulls you out of your thoughts, and you lethargically look at the message. It’s from Sebastian.

Sebastian 7:32 PM

Doing okay?

You look up and see him standing off to the side across from you and looking at his phone while Sam and Abby vigorously try to beat each other in the game they are playing.

You 7:32 PM

Yeah, just zoned out is all.

Sebastian 7:33 PM

Want to take a break and go check out

the skeletons?

You 7:33 PM

That sounds good. :)

Without a word, Sebastian pushes himself off the wooden frame of the game stall and you follow by his side. Abby and Sam are too engrossed in their competition to notice your absence, so the two of you silently walk towards the famed skeleton cage. An older man with an eyepatch and cape stands to the side of the cage, and as you approach he gruffly says, “Don’t stand too close to the cage.” You look inside and sure enough there are two skeletons roaming around the enclosed area, hunched over like zombies.

They look very realistic, and you almost heed the man’s words until Sebastian leans over to whisper in your ear. “Don’t worry, they don’t do anything.” He steps up almost flush to the bars of the cage. From the side you hear a sigh escape the old man’s lips, and you keep your distance from the cage, but get close enough to Sebastian to talk to him if needed. You both stare at the two skeletons for a few minutes before you look over and see the widest smile you’ve seen on his face the whole time you’ve been here. His fake fangs poke out from his mouth as he smiles and catch yourself staring.

He’s rather slim, just like when you were kids, but not necessarily scrawny like back then. Sebastian was a pretty skinny boy even in high school, but now he seemed like he had slightly more toned muscles than the last time you had seen him. His hair wasn’t always black; he actually started dyeing it when you reached the end of middle school, which is also when he started to dress in a more alternative style. You could see his natural ginger hair peeking through at his roots. Just like his mom. His skin is fair, probably because he doesn’t get too much sun due to the fact that his room is in the basement of his house. He almost resembles a real vampire with how pale his skin is.

He looks over to you and catches you staring at him and pushes some of his hair out of his face. “What?” You notice the pale skin on his cheeks grow pink.

“You need to re-dye your hair soon.” You tease.

His hand shoots up to his roots and he tugs at a lock of his dark hair. “I-I know…” Before you can say anything else, Abby and Sam walk up to where the two of you are standing. You greet them with a half smile but look away as you see Abby’s very obviously unamused face.

“So this is where you two ran off!” Sam claps the back of your shoulder, Abby stands pretty closely on Sebastian’s other side.

“I told Farmer here about the skeletons yesterday and told her I’d show her them. You two were busy trying to one up each other so we decided to come over here.” Sebastian explains. “Let’s go check out the maze now.” He gently pushes past Abby and leads the way to the maze entrance.

The four of you start to slowly walk through the hedge maze. It is impossible to see above the tall hedges, and and the eerie atmosphere is made even clearer with the sounds of twigs snapping and some suspicious whines in the wind. It was hard to tell if it was real of if it was just the wind itself. The path of the maze is slim, and can only fit two people across. You stand next to your cousin while Abby and Seb lead the way. Sam is holding onto your arm firmly, but it shakes slightly and you realize he’s probably trying to seem brave for your sake. Abby is clinging to Sebastian tightly and jumps at every sound that comes from the maze.

At some point you go in a complete circle and end up at the beginning. On the way you pass Maru, Sebastian’s sister, who gives you a very shaky greeting. You try again only to circle back to the entrance. After the third time you groan. “Guys,” your friends look to you, “just keep taking left turns. We’ll get to the end eventually.” They give a nod and follow your instructions. You pass Maru one final time, but continue to take left turns. You round a corner and Abby squeals and when you look down you see a hand protruding from the ground. It looks a lot like a zombie hand, and you swear you can see some of the fingers wiggling slowly. There are several of them down this path, but you are unfazed by them. So are Sebastian and Sam.

You take the next left turn and follow the path to a TV that is simply static. It’s unnerving, and it reminds you of The Poltergeist. Ahead you pass by Alex, who is too afraid to move on, but he plays it off and feigns confidence. You make it to the fountain, the bubbling water bringing a bit of calm within tense air of the maze. It’s also brighter over here with more lanterns to light up the clearing.

Everything is fine until you reach the next section of the maze, in which Abby lets out a terrified scream while digging her face into Sebastian’s chest. The three of you jump, but only because of her scream. “That’s it! Nope! I draw the line at spiders!” She lets go of Sebastian and runs off towards the safety of the fountain.

Sam sighs shakily. “I’ll go with her.” He unhooks his arm from you and walks off to follow her. He was more scared than he was letting on.

This leaves you alone with Sebastian, who also sighs. “Yoba, she was holding so tight, I was almost losing circulation in my arm. It was making me even more anxious.”

“What, you don’t like scary mazes?” You tease and he furiously shakes his head.

“I try to steel myself for Sam and Abby, but I’m honestly a big scaredy cat. All three of us are, though Abby likes to pretend she’s not since she’s into that spooky occult shit. It’d ruin her image.” He starts to relax the more he speaks and you nod towards the giant fake spiders. “Yeah, let’s go.” You start to walk away but he reaches out to grasp the back of your hoodie. “Uh, could I hold your arm or something?”

“Sure.” You hold out your arm and he hooks his around it. The deeper you go, the more his grip lightens on your arm. It’s somewhat disappointing, feeling the his warmth dissipate the more he relaxed off you. The two of you trudge forward, through the sand box where the playground usually sits, and come to a dead end. There’s a sign with a question mark, and you exchange confused glances with your friend.

“That’s strange.” Sebastian states while taking a small step forward to examine the sign.

While he’s doing that, you look closely at the hedge and tilt your head. At first glance, especially in the dark, it looks just like every other hedge, but the more you stare at it, the more its image starts to look more wavy, like ripples in a pond. You hold your hand out to touch the odd hedge. You’re shocked when your hand slips right through, and you rapidly tap Sebastian’s shoulder. “Hey, look.” You show that your hand goes through the hedge and his dark eyes widen. You look back to each other and trudge ahead, holding onto Sebastian’s arm lightly. The path takes you around the outside of the maze and into a dark and moist cave. It’s pitch black inside, so you pull out your phones to light the way.

“I think we’re close, Farmer.” He holds onto your arm tighter, his hand dangerously close to your own as they lightly brush one another the more you walk. You suddenly feel your stomach lurch. Maybe it was the darkness and the tightness of the cave getting to you. You were pretty unfazed by the spooks in the maze itself, but this cave was slightly more eerie due to the pitch black darkness. Even with your phone flashlight lighting the way, it was causing your stomach to do backflips. At the end of the path it curves back out to a very dark patch of grass and you see it, reflecting off the light of your phone.

“It’s a golden pumpkin?” You pick it up and examine it as closely as you can. “What’s it for?”

“Decoration, I think.” Sebastian leans over your shoulder to get a closer look at it. His breath is warm against your neck, and the hairs on the back stand up and you casually squirm away in hopes of making this feeling of anxiety go away. “Let’s head back and show off our prize, Farmer.” Sebastian smiles gently and follows you out the maze once more.

When you emerge, Sam greets you with a hug and a warm congratulations. Abby smiles at you dryly but gives Sebastian a warm greeting. What was her problem? She seemed so happy that you had moved back but the last couple times you had seen her she’d been pretty cold towards you. You decide to watch her a little closer as she interacts with Sebastian while you walk back to the entrance of the maze. The entire time she stands close to Sebastian, nearly bumping into him several times as he tries to talk to you and Sam. She constantly places her hand on Sebastian’s arm and laughs loudly even when he doesn’t say anything funny.

Oh, Yoba. She was jealous.

She obviously had the hugest crush on Sebastian. She didn’t have to treat you like that, though. It’s not like you had a crush on him. Right? Well, he had grown up quite a bit since you last saw him. His soft childish features had matured and he had been so kind to you upon your return. Always checking in with you whenever you hung out, and even when you didn’t hang out he would shoot you a text every so often. Even gave you a silly nickname. You had spent a bit of time together without the other two, but you never really got that nervous. It was just comfortable. Like friends should be.

She had nothing to worry about. Abby was a beautiful girl with personality.

“Farmer?” Sebastian looks back to you and you are abruptly brought back to reality. The others are also looking at you with slight concern and you shake your head to wake yourself up.

“Sorry, I’ve been zoning out a lot tonight.” You grimace and Sam gives you an encouraging pat on your shoulder. While you exit the maze the towns people look up and shower you with praise and smiles at the sight of the Golden Pumpkin. Lewis walks up and congratulates you, asking one of your fellow Pelican Town neighbors to snap a picture for posterity’s sake.

“Hey, we should take a picture together.” Sebastian suggests to your group and you hand your phone to your aunt to snap a picture of you and Sebastian holding the golden pumpkin while Abby and Sam stand to either side of you. You smile big, and once she’s done your smile fades just as fast as you plastered it on.

“I had a lot of fun tonight. Thanks, everyone.” You and Sebastian are still both holding the golden pumpkin. You push it gently towards him. “Sebastian, why don’t you take it?” You weren’t going to say it, but he braved through the maze and all you did was go through it with a stone cold face.

“No, use it for when you move into your farmhouse.” He pushes it back to you and lets go once he knows you have a good grasp on it. He looks at his phone for the time. “I should get going, I unfortunately have some work to do for a project. The deadline’s coming up fast.” He waves to all of you, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer, and walks off with his hands in his pockets.

“We should probably go, too. Looks like Mom’s ready to go.” Sam gestures with his chin over to your aunt who is holding your very asleep younger cousin. His mouth is agape and has slight traces of chocolate around his lips. The sugar coma definitely took over, and you giggled at the sight. “Night, Abby.” She waves and watches you all walk off towards the house.

After taking forever to wash all the face paint off your face, you curl up in your bed and fall asleep almost instantly. Your phone buzzes and you check to see who it is. You only ever get texts from one person regularly, so you aren’t surprised when you see his name pop up.

Sebastian 10:30 PM

Thanks for going on that adventure with

me tonight. :3 Glad one of us in this group

is brave enough lol

You 10:31 PM

Thanks for being a pretty cool sidekick. :3

Sebastian 10:31 PM

Sidekick?!

You 10:32 PM

You heard me, Emo Boy.

Sebastian 10:32 PM

Fine. You got me there, Farmer.

Have a good night. Hope you had fun

today. :)

You 10:32 PM

Night, Emo Boy.

You throw your phone on the charger and fall asleep with a warm smile. You could get used to these fun festivals with your friends. It almost made you forget how much you were hating life before you moved here.

Chapter Text

The days passed quickly after Spirit’s Eve, and life returned to normal. The chilly winds of winter were settling in and snowflakes slowly began to shower the town in a icy white blanket. You had actually spent more time with Leah; taking her up on her offer to come to her cabin. Though, you weren’t really doing any art with her, you just observed her working on her sculpture as you both sipped on drinks of your choosing. You preferred a nice cool soda while she went for the wine. It was relaxing, and you were glad you didn’t listen to the stupid irrational voice in your brain that kept telling you to just stay at home.

Abby had become a little more distant with you. You hadn’t really hung out after the first time you had sat on what’s now your property. You’d tried to reach out once or twice, but each time she gave a vague and short excuse as to why she couldn’t hang out. You didn’t want to push her or doubt her, but something was telling you there was more to it. Maybe it was your anxiety talking, or maybe there was something there that you were missing. You talked about it with Leah and she wasn’t quite sure what guidance to give you. It was eating away at you by the day.

This was quickly forgotten once you received news that Robin had worked through the cold and finished the updates on the farmhouse a few days early. You, Jodi, and the boys took a couple days to move what little belongings you had to the small cabin, and get you settled in. Jodi had an extra mattress in the attic that she let you take for the beautifully carved wooden bed frame that sat in the farm house upon your arrival. She also had an extra lamp, dining room table and chairs, and tv stand for the old tv. There was also an old loveseat collecting dust in her attic that you placed in front of the tv stand, and you imagine you’d be falling asleep on it a little too often. You didn’t have a kitchen, unfortunately, so you’d have to resort to takeout or using Jodi’s kitchen. She was insistent on it, actually. Until you could get a kitchen added to the small cabin, there was no way for you to cook.

Vincent was pretty bummed about you moving in. As he helped you unpack he held a very noticeable pout on his face, and Sam tried to cheer him up. “Hey, don’t be so sad; she’s still in town. You can visit her whenever you want. Plus,” he looks up to you then his mother, “she’ll be having dinner with us most nights, right?”

“Seeing as she doesn’t have a kitchen, yes. As much as I love Gus’ cooking, eating takeout everyday is not good for anyone.” Jodi wipes down the dusty surfaces of the cabin with fervor.

You place your hand gently on the young boy’s cheek and smile warmly. “Don’t worry, I’m not leaving. You can see me any time.” He doesn’t say anything but gives you a tight hug, digging his face into your chest.

That night, Vincent and Sam slept over at your house. The three of you stayed up late playing games on the video game console that Sam brought over and even watched a movie on it. You all fell asleep on the loveseat and you woke up in the middle of the night to move to the bed. You spent the next day unpacking the rest of your clothes into a dresser that Robin gifted you. The bathroom was also small, including a standing shower and a toilet and sink. Very tight and not a lot of counter space, but it worked.

Later that Sunday evening, you get a text from Sam in the group chat.

Sam 4:06 PM
Festival of Ice is tomorrow. We’re all going, right?

Abby 4:07 PM
Of course. Who else is going to watch you fall on your ass when you try to ice skate?

Sam 4:07 PM
Y/N, Abby’s bullying me TT^TT

Sebastian is oddly quiet. You think about whether or not you want to stand out in the snow and bitter cold for the festival. Sam had told you there was an ice fishing contest, ice skating, and an unofficial snowgoon building contest between the three of them. You much preferred the summer festivals and events to this, but you always enjoyed spending time with your cousin and friends.

You 4:08 PM
I’ll go. I won’t promise that I won’t
complain about the cold, though.

Sebastian 4:08 PM
I’ll be there. :)

That Monday you all meet in Cindersap Forest where the Festival of Ice is taking place. You, Sam, and Abby were all bundled up as much as you could while still being able to move your joints freely. You hadn’t realized how cold it got in the Valley, but you also usually stayed inside where it was warm. You really just wanted to go back to your cabin and light up the fireplace, curling up on your couch and sleeping cozily underneath a fluffy blanket.

“How are you not cold?” Your eyes quickly scan Sebastian up and down the minute he walks up. Dressed in a leather jacket layered over his trademark black hoodie, he looks like he’s dressed more for a fall day rather than the winter season. He has a black and grey knit hat pulled over his head, hiding most of his raven hair underneath, and matching mittens are keeping his hands warm.

He gives a wave and shrugs. “I don’t really get cold.”

“I know he just dressed up as a vampire only a week ago, but I don’t think it was a costume.” Sam teases and Sebastian playfully kicks snow at him. “I’m joking! Mostly…” Sam mumbles the last part so that he doesn’t hear it and smiles mischievously.

The four of you start your day at the Festival making snowgoons, and Sam denotes that it is a team effort. Sebastian moves forward to stand next to you, but Abby swiftly intercepts and tugs his arm to follow her. “C’mon, Sebby! We gotta make a snowgoon that’ll crush theirs!”

“Guess it’s you and me, Y/N.” Sam pulls you in the opposite direction, and as you turn you notice Sebastian looking a little sour as Abby tugs on him to follow her. You pack the freezing cold snow together in large balls and start to roll them around to collect more, causing them to grow in size. Pierre has snowgoon materials for sale such as carrots, coal, and other accessories. Sam buys a couple things and asks you to decorate it. “Wait!” He pulls off his hat and places it atop the snowgoon’s head as you start to decorate it. You take your scarf off and attempt to wrap it around its lopsided neck, or where its neck would be, and put your hands on your hips as you stare at your creation.

“This is actually kind of cute.” You kneel down and examine it closer once more.

The four of you debate which one is better, just for fun, though, and yours and Sam’s end up winning. You give each other a loud high five and grab your scarf and hat from the snowgoon. “I think it’s time to try some skating.” Abby suggests with a sly smile directed at Sam.

“Abby, you know I’m awful at it.” Sam shakes his head while trying to pat the snow from his hat.

“What about you, Sebby?” She still has her arm wrapped around his, and you can easily tell how uncomfortable and… upset he is. He gently shrugs her off and takes a step to the side, putting distance between the two of them.

“I think I need a smoke.” He gives you a knowing stare. He did say that smoking was a great excuse to get away from stressful situations. This had started to become a secret code between the two of you. “You get ready, I’ll be over in a second.”

“Wait, I’ll go with you.” You stuff your gloved, but freezing, hands into your pockets and scurry to his side.

“Okay! See you in a bit!” Sam waves and takes Abby with him to the lake where the ice skating is taking place. Behind you Abby lets out a huff, following Sam with an ever so slight frown.

“Yoba, she’s too much sometimes…” Sebastian sighs while pulling a cigarette and lighter from his pockets. He waits until he’s by a tree on the outskirts of the event before lighting it up and taking a long, deep drag from it. “I… I don’t like her being physical with me all the time. She’s been worse lately and it’s getting to be much for me.” He starts to unload on you and you just nod and listen. Within the last week or so you had bumped into Sebastian several times while going on your walks. The frequency of these walks started to dwindle because of the weather changing, but you still saw him pretty often. You two had grown used to venting with one another, knowing the other will simply listen and not talk. “I should tell her to back off… It’s making me so anxious. She’s always been all about physical affection.” He rubs the bridge of his nose and lets out another loud sigh. He was right about that. Abby was all about hugs and other forms of physical contact while you were growing up. To be completely honest, you were somewhat relieved he had felt this way. You had noticed it too, fairly recently, and could tell how much he hated it by his face and how his posture would shift. You could feel a little jab in your own heart every time you saw him in that position.

You spend a few minutes in silence as he finishes up his cigarette. He hesitantly tosses it in the snow below, and nods his head in the direction of the lake. “Let’s go, the more I think about it the more I’ll get in a bad mood.” And you return to where your friends are waiting. As you get some rental skates from Mayor Lewis’ setup, you put them on and remember that you’d never skated before. You tried to stand up but it felt odd since there were sharp blades at the bottom of your feet making you several inches taller than normal. As you tried to keep your balance, you feel something help hold you up and look over to see that Sebastian has placed his hands on your shoulders.

“Never skated before?” You shake your head. “That’s okay, I can teach you.” He lets you hold on to his arm as you try to balance and walk to the entrance of the makeshift skating rink on the frozen lake. He steps on to the ice first, and helps you stay on your feet as you attempt to go after him. “Okay, so…” He starts to explain the basics of not falling on your ass. Sebastian skates with ease as you hang on for dear life to his arm. You fall a few times, and almost take Sebastian down with you, but after the first two times he grasps your hand firmly. Suddenly your stomach feels sick. You try to ignore it and continue focusing on balancing on the ice. Every time you’re about to fall he’s able to pull you upwards to keep you on your feet. Sam is also struggling to stay on his feet as he skates, and Abby is skating backwards to try and help him. Though, every so often when you look over to her you swear she’s glaring daggers in your direction.

After several attempts, you start to feel more comfortable gliding across the ice, and start to fall less and less over the next laps around the lake. “You’re getting the hang of it.” Sebastian looks over to you and smiles softly, still holding your hand firmly and showing no signs of letting go. You suddenly feel super aware of this and gently let go of his hand, keeping your eyes on your feet while you try to keep your balance. You stumble a couple times, but even though he reaches out to catch you if you need it, you end up staying up the entire time even though it’s not graceful at all. Sam looks up as you pass by one time and gives you a thumbs up, in turn falling on his ass from losing his focus. You can’t help but laugh with Abby and Sebastian at the sight.

You lose track of time, but you end up skating until your feet hurt, and you have to ask Sebastian to help you stop. He helps you off the ice and you’re able to walk to a seat to switch your skates out with your shoes. You don’t realize, but you have a big smile on your face. You had a great time, and you always seemed to with Sebastian and the rest of the gang. They made you feel wanted. You never regretted any time you would hang out with them.

“Have fun?” Sebastian asks, as always.

“Why do you always ask me that?” You look up. Your tone isn’t aggressive or negative by any means but full of curiosity.

“Because you’re my friend, and I care about whether or not you enjoyed your time or not.” He scratches the back of his neck and avoids your eyes.

“I did, by the way.”

“That’s good.” He nods slowly, discarding his skates for his black boots. He takes your skates for you and returns them over to the rental stand and returns promptly. “So… You heading home then?” You nod. He seemed to be very good at noticing when you were checked out for the day. Your eyes lock for a second and he looks away quickly, obviously debating on saying something else as he stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Do you want me to walk you home?”

Those silly butterflies return to your stomach. “It’s not too far, I think I’ll be fine.” You stand up and give a wave. “I’ll see you later. Thanks.”

“Yeah, have a good night.” Sebastian’s voice almost has a tinge of disappointment as he stands in that same spot while you walk off towards the south entrance of the farm.

You open up your phone once you collapse on the couch in front of the tv.

Sam 5:17 PM
Hey, you go home?

You 5:17 PM
Yeah. Got really tired from all that skating.

Sam 5:18 PM
Oh, Sebastian’s birthday is on Tuesday.
He usually doesn’t like to do anything,
but I want to do something for him this year.

You 5:19 PM
We could hang out at the farmhouse. Bring your
game console.

You plan out the birthday party with Sam and let Abby know of the plans. You end up falling asleep on the couch that night, looking forward to the surprise party for Sebastian.

Two days later, you hear a knock on your door, and rush over to answer. Sam is standing outside with a box and some grocery bags with the Joja Mart logo on them. “Hey! I brought some snacks and sodas along with his cake. Abby’s picking up a pizza from Gus’. Seb should be here in a few minutes.” You nod and clear off the dining room table for all the food, helping Sam unpack and organize the snacks on the table. You take the pink cake out of the box and set it in the center of it all. You were surprised when Sam told you that Sebastian preferred the pink cake over the chocolate fudge cake. He seemed like a chocolate fudge kind of guy to you.

“Oh he’s going to hate me for doing all this.” Sam chuckles, and as you chat a little more you hear a knock on the door. Standing outside is Sebastian, and Abby is heading up the stairs behind him. “Come in!” Sam exclaims as if he owns the place; with how often he had hung out with you or brought Vincent over, he practically did live here. Sebastian and Abby pile in, kicking off their shoes by the door and Abby rushes in to set the pizza on the table. In her other hand she holds a box full of cans of some sort of alcoholic drinks. You feel your heart start to beat faster and your lungs feel like they’re tightening up.

You excuse yourself, saying you need to use the bathroom real quick, and lean against the door as soon as you shut it. You take several deep breaths, then run some cold water to splash on your face. After calming yourself down, you simply think to yourself: They can enjoy themselves, you can politely decline. You didn’t always react this way around those who would drink; you’d been to the saloon several times and the people drinking there never bothered you. Something about it being in your own home seemed to really make you uneasy though. You take one quick look in the mirror to make sure you have a neutral face and step back out to see Abby and Sebastian sitting on the couch while Sam sits on the chair at the dining table.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starving.” You smirk and go to grab some paper plates to pass out. As you hand one to Sebastian, you smile. “Birthday boy gets first pick.” He lets out a quick amused sigh and stands up to go pick out his food. As your mini party of friends settles down and starts chomping on pizza and chips, you find yourself spacing off and looking out the window to the snowy and cold night outside. It got darker earlier, so even though it felt late at night, it was only about 6:30 in the evening. You took frequent sips of your soda as the other three had an animated conversation about who knows what.

“Y/N?” You’re snapped out of your daze and you look to Sam. “We were asking if you’d be interested in playing Solarion Chronicles with us. We run a campaign every other week.” You’d heard from. Sam about their antics in the game several times, and had always been curious about the game. You remembered seeing several posters and books of it in Sebastian’s room when you were over there making Jodi’s birthday cake.

“Uh, sure. Sorry, I was daydreaming.” You smile nervously. They pull you into the conversation asking you about what kind of character you’d like to play. Sam was the bard (obviously), Sebastian played a wizard, and Abby played a barbarian. You weren’t all too familiar with all the different class types, so Sebastian and Sam both explained them. There were a lot to choose from, and the list of options was making you visibly overwhelmed.

Sebastian notices pretty quickly. “Well, we are lacking in healing right now. You could play a cleric and be our healer.” He gives you that gentle smile of his and you nod.

“Yeah, we know how many times I’ve run into a fight and almost died.” Abby chuckles.

“Next time we play we can take some time to make your character and get you set up.” Sam chimes in.

After finishing up the pizza, you all gather around the dining room table for the cake. Sam puts the candles on, a two and five, and Sebastian lights them up with his lighter. “You didn’t have to do this for me.” You notice a slight blush forming on his cheeks as he avoids all your eyes boring down on him. “You know how much I don’t really care for sweets.” He chuckles but the smile on his face betrays his words. You all sing a joyous “happy birthday” and he pauses briefly, shutting his eyes, before blowing out the candles.

“Don’t ask what I wished for, I’m not telling.” He starts before Sam can even open his mouth. You find a knife in your tote of kitchen items and cut up slices for everyone. You’re surprised when you take a bite of the cake at how tart it is. There’s a slight taste of melon in the mix, but it’s very subtle, and definitely not as sweet as the chocolate cake you had a few weeks prior. Despite this, it still tastes wonderful, especially for it being a store-bought cake.

Abby suddenly stands up and heads for the table, pulling out three cans of the drinks she brought. You inhale sharply at the sight, as she tosses one to Sam and holding one out for you to take. Her expectant gaze drills into you as you stare at the can. “Thank you, but I’m fine.”

“Aw,” she pouts holding it out again, “just one?”

You shake your head and hold up a hand to politely decline, but the panic and anxiety in your voice is obvious. “No thanks, Abby, I’m fine with my soda.” Memories of nights with your mother start taking over and flashing through your mind. How it made her so verbally aggressive, and say awful things to you and about you. She had never hit you in her drunken states, but her words would hurt more than any strike she could attempt. You were trying your best to hide it, but you tapped your foot rapidly and avoided Abby’s eyes.

She looks like she’s going to try one more time, and though she doesn’t mean to be malicious, she looks a little annoyed… or disappointed? You weren’t sure. Before she could ask again, though, you frown and spit out, “I said no. I don’t want anything and if you won’t respect it, you can leave my house.”  Abby’s mouth hangs open in shock, and she looks between you and the boys, grasping for some sort of support from them.

“What the hell, Abby?” Sebastian’s face is contorted with disgust, and her cheeks become flush with embarrassment. Though it seems she’s more embarrassed that it was Sebastian snapping at her rather than the act of trying to push a drink on you. “We’re going out for a smoke. Be right back.” He takes your hand firmly and pulls you along with him to the front door. You throw on your boots and jacket in a whirlwind and find yourself outside on the porch, a blanket of snow forming from the snowfall.

“I’m sorry about her. I don’t know what’s gotten into her lately.” He is fumbling for his box of cigarettes and lighter as he talks. “She knows that I don’t drink much and has been pretty respectful about it; I don’t know why she did that just now.”

“It’s fine…” You try to shrug it off, but he knows it’s really bothering you.

“It’s not. She shouldn’t be crossing boundaries like that.” He realizes that what he said came out way more aggressive than he meant, and sighs out a cloud of smoke. “You shouldn’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to.”

“It’s because of my mom.” You spit out, and almost cover your mouth once you do, but keep to your guns. “She always had a drinking problem while I was growing up. It’s a big reason why I came here during the summers. My dad wanted to get me away from that at any chance I had while they were married. When they split up, my mom tried to keep me at home with her, but my dad made sure to get me during summers as a part of the divorce decree.” The words started to vomit from your mouth. You weren’t sure when you’d stop, or why you were even divulging this information to him. “I traded off months with them while I was still in school. One month spent with one parent, then switch on the next. With weekend visitation for both while I was at the other parent’s house. It worked out fine at first, until my mom’s drinking got worse and worse. I’d beg my dad to let me stay with him and have visitation with her on weekends, but it was impossible for him to convince the judge to do so, with her being my mother and all. Had it been the other way around I’m sure they would’ve ordered it.

“I dreaded being with my mom. I had to keep the apartment clean, cook, and take care of the household all by myself. The only thing I wasn’t doing was paying for the bills. Whenever I stayed with Mom, I tried my best to hang out with other friends and keep out of the house except for Fridays, which is when I’d clean up around the apartment. My dad tried to get the correct authorities involved, but of course she’d sober up and get presentable when she caught wind of it. The days I couldn’t stay away, she’d berate me, tell me how stupid and useless I was, and how she never wanted to have me. I hated every day of my life with her.” You run your hands through your hair, tightly gripping at the roots to help relieve the anxiety building up as you spilled this out to your friend. When you glance over he has a sympathetic glint in his eyes, his head tilted to the side, and his attention is fully on you. “When I graduated, my dad moved out of Zuzu City, and a little closer to where I went to college. I would visit him every weekend, and sometimes I would visit my mom, but not for long; I couldn’t handle it. She would act nice at first, but I could always tell when she was drinking. I tried to get her help, but she refused.”

“Y/N…” Sebastian almost whispers, and when you don’t respond he says your name again. “Y/N, you don’t have to keep talking about it if you don’t want to.” You wanted nothing but to stop, however, you did feel slightly better after letting it all out. Sam knew the gist of what happened to you, but nothing this detailed. He knew your mom was awful. Jodi, being your dad’s sister, never liked your mom (though she was never vocal about it around you). You easily noticed this while growing up and didn’t blame her. Your mother wasn’t even liked by her own parents.

Sebastian was the only other person you had spilled this out to, and it felt so great to finally have someone else in the know. Out of all the people you wanted it to be him; he seemed to understand you the most.

You don’t know when it started, but you feel a couple tears roll down your cheeks onto the white snow covering the porch. Sebastian snuffs out his cigarette and steps closer to you, placing his hand gently on your shoulder. Your head hangs down as you wipe the tears from your eyes, sobbing as quietly as you can. “Hey…” He pulls you into a hug as his arms wrap around you. Your heart starts to beat even faster at the sudden closeness between the two of you.

“I’m ruining your party…” You sob into his chest and your tears roll down his dark leather jacket. His low voice vibrates against your body as he chuckles.

“You know how much I hate parties, you can’t ruin that for me.” The two of you stand out in the cold, sharing each other’s warmth. You start to remember the position the two of you are in and feel yourself getting anxious again. It’s different than your usual anxiety of being around people, and more about how intimate this situation is. You feel your chest rise and fall with the rhythm of his breathing, and focus on that to help calm you back down. His hand gently moves up and down your back, and you feel your cheeks go flush at his touch.

You think if you stand here much longer your heart will give out, but you continue to take deep breaths in and out. The smell of cigarettes is strong on his clothes but you get a mixture of his cologne and pine-scented deodorant as you focus in on your senses to help ground yourself. You don’t want to ever let go. For the first time since you arrived in Pelican Town you felt yourself fully calm and at peace. You had enjoyed your time with your family and friends, but there was always an underlying feeling of anticipation; like something was going to go wrong at any moment. Not right now, though. You felt nothing; but not the emptiness you would feel when you laid on the forest floor for hours on end. It was serene.

“I-I’m sorry.” You mumble into his chest. You’re unsure how long you’re standing out there, Sebastian doesn’t let up on his embrace until you loosened your arms around him to step back.

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s go inside, you’re getting cold.” He wipes some of your tears with the sleeve of the hoodie he’s wearing under his jacket and guides you back inside once you look as presentable as you can be.

Sam stands up abruptly when he hears the door open again, and you try to force a smile. Abby avoids your eyes, but sighs to herself. “Hey, I’m sorry I was so pushy. That was really inconsiderate of me.” She rubs her arm nervously and you nod as a response.

“I was thinking we can play some games. Seb brought his Switch and I brought my game console.” Sam tries to move the festivities along, and you all agree to some Mario Kart. Sebastian sits himself next to you, while Abby takes the empty spot next to him and Sam pulls up the chair from the table. Just like last time, Sebastian gives you a build that optimizes your stats and you swear he lets you win a few matches from the small smirks and side glances he gives you at the end of some rounds. Abby almost catches up to you a few times, but you’re able to keep her off your tail. After several rounds you guys switch to playing some games on Sam’s console.

He has almost all the Jack Box games installed on the console and the four of you play along with your phones. Every so often you felt Sebastian swing his knee into yours to nudge you, especially when you looked like you were starting to zone out, but sometimes he would do it just for fun. After the first couple times you started to randomly nudge him with your knee and would catch him smiling every time you did.

He has such a beautiful smile.

Oh no.

The thought came and went as fast as you blinked, but you knew. You had grown quite fond of your friend. One of the first things you had noticed when you had run into one another your first day in town was how handsome he’d grown since you had graduated high school. You didn’t think much of it then but it was definitely dawning more on you now that you thought of it. You had always felt more comfortable around him when you had made your return. You loved Sam; he was one of your closest friends and he was your cousin, after all, but there were definitely things you wanted to keep from him. You hadn’t talked to anyone about your mom in years, yet, without him even saying anything, you were able to spill out everything to him. And it felt good. The way he was always looking out for you and perceptive to whenever you were overwhelmed.

As the night went on, you heard several yawns from Abby and Sam. “I think we should start packing up. You want to keep the leftover pizza, Y/N?” You nod, and start to put away the snacks in the Joja Mart bags Sam brought them in. Abby takes the leftover drinks she brought from the table. Sebastian and Sam pack up the game consoles. While everyone is standing at the door, you walk up and give them a wave.

“Happy birthday, Seb.” Sam and Abby nudge him and he smiles.

“Thanks for hosting, Farmer.” Sebastian smiles shyly.

Sam’s eyes dart between the two of you, and he starts to slowly back out the door. “Hey, Abby, I’ll walk you back home.” He smiles to the girl who gives him a look as if she asked him to murder her own guinea pig. “See ya, have a good night, you two!” Sam swiftly pulls Abby down the porch stairs behind him. She keeps trying to stay behind but he insistently pushes her down the path towards town.

This leaves you alone with Sebastian.

You pull your arms tight around yourself to try and keep yourself warm as the chilly air pools into your house. Sebastian has a smile spread wide across his face, and you can’t help but smile with him. He opens his mouth to say something, but you beat him to it. “Did you have fun?”

He smirks playfully. “Hey, that’s my line.”

“It was your birthday party. I had to ask.”

He chuckles, and nods. “Yeah, I had fun. It was a really good birthday.”

“Thanks, Sebastian.” You blurt out and his eyes slightly widen with surprise at the sudden statement. “For listening to me about… my mom.”

“Of course.” The bitter cold pouring in from outside was starting to nip at any bare skin you have showing at the moment, and your teeth involuntarily chatter. He notices this and his eyes shift from you to the back mountain path to his home. “I’m sorry again about Abby. I don’t know what’s gotten into her lately. You two used to be best friends and now she’s treating you like crap.”

She’s jealous. You want to say, but know if you do it’ll make it more real. You’d have to admit out loud that you liked him. The thought of admitting that terrified you, as you felt in your heart that there was no way he shared the sentiment. He wouldn’t waste any more of his time with you than he already has. He shouldn’t. Half the time you were wallowing in your own dark thoughts and you didn’t need to drag him down with them. You were nothing but-

“Y/N?” Sebastian’s warm voice brings you back to reality and the winter chill seeps back onto your skin. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

He pauses for an unbearable amount of time, giving you a concerned frown, but sighs. “Well, have a good, uh, night. Yeah.” He starts to walk down the stairs of the porch and almost slips on the last step. “I’m fine!” He regains his balance and quickly trudges off toward the mountain path leading to his house. “See you, Farmer.” You giggle quietly, but quickly shut the door to help warm yourself back up. Despite Abby’s sudden bout of peer pressure, you tried your best to enjoy yourself, for Sebastian, but something inside you felt terrible.

You had developed feelings for your friend.

What were you going to do?

Chapter Text

You knock on the door to Sebastian’s bedroom and pick at your cuticles while you wait. You hear the shifting of a chair and some voices muffled behind the door and wave sheepishly when Sebastian answers. “Farmer!” He exclaims softly and swings the door open to invite you in. You join the others at the large table he has set up in the center of his room, taking the empty chair next to him and your cousin with Abby sitting directly across from you scrolling on her phone.

On the table you see everyone has sheets of papers, which you recognize as the character sheets that Sebastian and Sam had texted you about, drawstring bags filled with dice, Abby’s note-taking journal, and some tiny statues representing their characters, among other things. It was a lot, to say the least. “Okay, so did you have any character ideas or did you want to stick with my suggestion?” Sebastian’s voice gently pulls you back to reality and you scratch the back of your neck with a grimace.

“I think I like your idea.”

“Yeah, we got a healer!” Sam pumps a fist into the air.

“Okay, so…” He starts to walk you through the process of building your character and carefully explains what each of the many numbers mean on the sheet. You didn’t realize how much math went into this game. There were so many numbers to keep track of on your sheet, and you’re so glad to have both Sam and Sebastian there to explain it all to you. The boys do most of the work when it comes to building some sort of background story for your character and why they are joining the party now, but you throw in a couple thoughts of your own that they run with. Once you have come up with a name for your character, the long process is over and you’re almost ready to play the game.

“I made this cheat sheet for you to help simplify all you can do for whenever we start to play.” Sebastian hands you a folder containing handout that looks like it’s a piece of parchment with text written on it with ink. It looks almost official and like a real fantasy document despite the fact it’s on a thick piece of cardstock.

“Wow, this looks great. Thanks, Sebastian.” You stick your character sheet in the pocket of the folder.

“Oh! Seb!” Sam mimes something with his hands and you raise a brow at his silly motions. Even Sebastian tilts his head in confusion. “You know—” Sam holds up his miniature and Sebastian’s eyes widen in understanding.

“Right! I almost forgot,” he reaches under the table and holds out a small tub full to the brim with miniatures, “pick one you think would represent your character; or one you like.” Your eyes scan the small bucket full of several different types of characters holding different weapons and in unique poses. It takes a couple minutes of sifting through the pile of minis, but you finally settle on a female elf that you think would look the most like what you imagine your character to be. A small smile amused smile melts onto your face. “You can keep that one, if you end up really liking it.” Sebastian glances at your smiling face.

“I couldn’t take this from you.” You insist.

“I don’t use most of these, I kind of just started collecting them.” He scratches the back of his neck.

“Are we going to play, or…?” Abby looks up from her phone with a raised brow.

“Right. Let’s get started.” Sebastian leads the game and begins with a quick recap of the last session’s events. The game is played with a mixture of event cards as well as rolling dice to determine your outcome. You all start with just the original three party members finishing up their most recent adventure and walking along the path in the woods to the next town. “As we walk down the path in the woods we see a young woman..." Sebastian draws a card from the event card pile, "getting attacked by mischievous pixies. Y/N, could you give us a description of your character?”

You weren’t really sure how you wanted your character to look. Your eyes shift between everyone eagerly staring at you for your answer. “Um…” You take a good long look at your miniature and start to describe the noticeable features of it. “She is an elf with long raven-colored hair braided back. She wears some armor with green accents and holds a…” you take a close look at the weapon in the miniature’s hand but you’re unfamiliar with the types of fantasy weapons.

“That’s called a morning star.” Sebastian nods encouragingly.

“Morning star, right, and a shield.” You nod and fold your hands in your lap to fidget with your thumbs.

“Okay, so we see this cleric in trouble of these pesky pixies. What should we do?”

Sam speaks up almost immediately. “I’m going to approach her and start playing a song on my lute.”

“Are you going to sing too?” Sebastian smirks and Sam nods.

“Of course! What kind of bard to you take me for?” Sam starts to improvise a song on the spot, shocking you with how easy he makes it look, and ends the song with a flourish of his hands as if he’s playing the lute for real. You laugh quietly and shower him with applause.

“I need you to roll me for Performance to see if the pixies enjoyed it or not.” Sebastian’s eyes linger on you for a moment before returning to Sam.

He rolls the 20-sided die as instructed and starts to do some math in his head. Well, he tries to do the math in his head. After several attempts, your cousin admits defeat and pulls out his phone calculator. “That’s 25.”

With a small chuckle Sebastian nods. “You passed. So how do you think the pixies react to your music?”

“Okay, so, picture this: These pixies are bothering, Y/N, right? Well, the minute they hear my captivating music they stop what they’re doing. They look up at me and start to float over to where I’m playing, giving Y/N the chance to slip away.” He nudges you and you nod.

The game continues and you’re pretty quiet for most of the game, but you still have plenty of fun. It’s a little strange to play as your character at first, and you’re not sure when you’ll feel comfortable with acting as her, but playing the game with everyone definitely helped boost your mood. You end the day’s session at the town the other three were originally headed to and call it a day there. Sam turns to you and asks, “So, what’d you think?”

“I think this is really fun. I can see why you all love it so much.”

“Shit!” Sebastian mutters and you all look over to him. “Mom made snacks for us to eat while we played and I totally forgot to grab them from the fridge.” He gets up abruptly and heads towards the stairs.

“Do you need any help?” You ask.

“Uh,” he pauses for the briefest of moments, as if he’s processing whose voice he just heard, “yeah!”

“I’ll come too.” Abby stands up and you roll your eyes as she ascends the stairs in front of you.

Once in the kitchen you await Sebastian’s instructions. He takes some small vegetable and fruit trays out of the fridge along with a jug of some cold apple cider. Without asking, Abby grabs some cups for everyone and pours herself a little drink while she waits for Sebastian to finish getting their snacks prepared. You go to reach for a cup and suddenly you feel a cool sensation on your abdomen. When you look down you see that Abby’s drink has poured all over your shirt.

“Shit! I’m sorry, Y/N.” She scrambles to get some paper towels to clean up the spilled drink as well as the mess on your clothes. Despite the awkward jealousy that she’s been showing, she seems genuinely sorry and it was truly an accident that she spilled her drink on you. Sebastian turns around from the fridge and takes a look at what happened.

“You can borrow one of my shirts, if you want.” You felt your heart skip a beat at this. Sebastian was such a sweet guy; you were glad he grew out of his stupid behaviors he displayed when you were all younger. You were sure kid-Sebastian would’ve made a joke at your expense.

After cleaning up the mess, the three of you head downstairs, all of you holding something from your snack haul in your hands, and Sam stands up at the sound of your entry into Sebastian’s room. His eyes move immediately to you and your cider-soiled shirt. Without another word Sebastian rummages through his drawers in his dresser for a shirt to lend you, and tosses you a band tee of a band you recognize.

“Oh, hey, you like them too?” You hold it up.

“Yeah. I thought you might like that one in particular.” He beams and you hide your embarrassment behind your stoic face, though you’re pretty sure you can feel your cheeks getting redder by the second. “I’ll show you to the bathroom” He leads the way back upstairs and you follow closely behind him in the hall. You pass the kitchen and find a small guest bathroom that you remember using frequently when you’d come hang out here when you were younger. He opens the door for you. “Let me know if you need anything.” He smiles and you nod silently. Your eyes are drawn to his hand on the doorknob, though, as he has an interesting ring on his finger. It’s pure black with purple gemstones inlaid to the band, and looks well-worn.

“That’s a pretty ring.” You comment. Sebastian’s eyes widen in shock at the sudden comment but his eyes follow yours down to the ring on his finger.

“Oh, thanks. It’s… important to me.” He twists it anxiously and you wonder if you’ll ever learn its story. You give your thanks, close the bathroom door to change, and find yourself back in Sebastian’s room in just a few minutes. The three of them are already munching on the fruits and veggies and you hurry over to get some of your preferred ones before they’re all gone.

The rest of the afternoon is filled with laughter and some of their normal shenanigans, but for most of the time you spend with them you feel your mind is in that mental fog that keeps you from engaging in the conversation. It’s like you’re barely there, but barely daydreaming as well. There are several times where you are briefly brought back to reality and you answer whatever question or give whatever opinion they ask for, but your mind almost immediately goes right back to that foggy state.

Shortly later you receive a text from Leah, asking if you were still down to hang with her tonight. Damn, I forgot we were doing that. You type out an excuse to cancel so you could go home and sleep for a bit, but your thumb hovers over the “Send” button hesitantly. You mentally sigh to yourself and delete the message, writing a new one for her.

You 2:59 PM

Yeah, I’ll see you then.

Maybe you could get a nap in before you headed over there.

You stand up from the table and everyone looks at you expectantly. “I’m going to head out. Thank you for the fun game, I’ll see you all later.”

“See ya.” Abby gives a short curt wave.

“Yeah, it was good seeing you, Y/N. I’ll see you for dinner sometime soon.” Sam gives you his trademark bear hug.

“Oh, I’ll give you your shirt back as soon as I can.” You hold up your dirty one in the air and Sebastian just shrugs.

“Don’t worry about it. That one’s a little too small for me anyway, you can keep it.”

“Oh,” you feel your heart start to beat faster and your hands get clammy, “uh, thanks then.”

You turn back towards his door to grab your winter gear and bundle up. You find yourself shivering at the freezing air biting at any exposed skin you have once you walk out the front door of the house. You turn to the mountain path, considering taking the shortcut back to your farmland, but remember Lewis’ warning from when you first moved into the farmhouse. You sigh and go back towards town, passing by Pierre’s and the old bus stop before you return to your cabin.

It’s still quite cold inside, due to the fire being out for several hours, but you find the thermostat and turn up the heat of the cabin. You were grateful Robin had went ahead and gotten someone to take a look at that and fix it up for you. Most of the time you just ran a fire in the fireplace and that kept the cabin pretty warm, but you were about to leave again in a few hours for Leah’s place so there was no point in lighting one now. You toss your coat, hat, scarf, and gloves onto the loveseat and curl up under the covers of your bed. Knowing you, you’ll sleep for the rest of the night if you don’t set an alarm, so you go ahead and set a two-hour alarm to wake you up. The minute your head hits the pillow you feel yourself gripped tightly by the land of sleep and catch some z’s.

You rap your knuckles on the hardwood of Leah’s front door and hear her shuffle inside hurriedly. Hanging on her door is a wreath with a large red ribbon and ornaments secured onto the greenery. She has various decorations on her front lawn for the holiday season; large ornaments, evergreen garland, lights, and more. A stark difference to your very plain cabin back on the farm. The door swings open and your friend wears a large welcoming smile. “Welcome to my humble, and messy, abode!” She makes a grand gesture with her hands and steps to the side to let you in.

You’d been inside a few times, so the mess was nothing you weren’t used to. You kicked off your boots and set them by her shoes next to the front door and stripped off your winter gear to hang them on hooks above where you placed your shoes. When you turn around you see Leah giving you a strange look while her eyes scan you up and down. “Is that a new shirt?” You realize you’re still wearing the shirt Sebastian gave you and feel your cheeks grow hot.

“Uh, no.” You deny a little too quickly. Leah obviously doesn’t believe you and just nods slowly. She leads you over to your normal spot (a chair that you claim every time you come and visit) and starts to work on her current project; a wooden sculpture of a bear.

“C’mon, girl. Why don’t we paint together?” Leah rests her hands on her hips, chisel and hammer still in her hands from the hour or so of carving. You’d been silently watching her work while periodically scrolling on your phone, listening to anything she had to say while she was chipping away at the wood.

“Leah…” Your hands tense up at the thought. She was so skilled at art, and you were way out of practice. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of her.

“Don’t ‘Leah’ me. I’ve got plenty of canvases; let’s go.” She sets her tools down and approaches you while waving her hands to get you on your feet.

“I haven’t painted in years, Leah.” You whine.

“You say that every time. Let’s get those painting hands back to work.” You grumble at her persistence, and sigh in defeat.

“Fine.”

She nearly jumps with joy while she scrambles around her cabin to sweep up the wood shavings from the floor, unfurl some tarp for the floor, grab the canvases and easels, and find her tubes of paint. Leah tosses you an apron and throws her ginger hair up in the messiest of buns. “Want a drink?” She asks from her small kitchen while getting some cups out. You nod and ask for a water while she pours herself a small glass of wine.

“Okay, let’s get started.” Your friend claps her hands and you look down at the spread of brushes she has available. It was overwhelming, so you chose a basic medium-sized brush. “I know it’s hard, but try not to overthink it. Trust me, I get in my head all the time when I’m making art, but some of my best works are when I just go braindead.” She chuckles and starts to lay down a color on her blank canvas. What did you even want to paint? What should you paint? What style?

You decide to go simple, and do something abstract, based on your current thoughts. As you start to place colors down with different brushes, you feel yourself relax a little at the motions. It felt like your instincts and years of training were starting to kick back in. You weren’t painting any subject in particular, which eased your mind on how “good” it needed to look. Most of the colors were pretty monochromatic, with grays, whites, and blacks being applied across the canvas. You had been feeling pretty monochromatic for the past couple years, as if you were living in black and white yourself. It felt cathartic letting all these thoughts play out from the tip of your brush again.

Then Sebastian pops into your head. Your hand freezes, and you find your eyes staring at your canvas.

You shake your head, hoping the action will literally shake his image from your mind. “You good?” Leah glances to you with a raised brow.

“I’m great.” You say a little too eagerly and she pauses her work to face you.

“That’s twice now that you’ve lied to my face.” She crosses her arms. “Your face is beet red,” Damn, “what’s on your mind?”

“No one. I mean-nothing!” You grumble inwardly at yourself for the slip up, all the while Leah’s eyes widen to the size of saucers. “Leah…”

“Oh, no—now you have to spill!” She hastily cleans off her brush and fixates her attention on you. You still have your brush floating hesitantly in the air in front of your canvas hoping she drops the subject but knowing her she’ll lock you in the cabin until you explain everything. “I can wait~” She teases and you finally place your brush down.

How were you going to tell her this? What was the best way? Would she tease you? (Yes. Always.)

“I… I think I like someone…” You mumble under your breath.

An excited squeal leaves her mouth. “Who? Who? Is that their shirt you’re wearing? Do I know them? Do they live here in town?”

“I mean, you’ve probably seen him around.” You shrug. It’s quite possible she hasn’t; next to you, Sebastian almost has you beat for the town recluse. “But he doesn’t get out much.”

“Girl, just give me a name already!”

The moment of truth. “It’s Sebastian.” Her excited face falters just a little in slight confusion as she tries to visualize who it could be.

“Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian…” Leah repeats, twirling a stray lock of her bright ginger hair around her finger.

“Robin’s son?” You offer and after a second it clicks in her brain.

“Oh! Really?” What was that supposed to mean? “Actually, that’s not surprising. You’ve known him since you were kids, right?” You nod. “Hmmm…” You did not like the sound of that. That was her scheming voice.

“Whatever you’re thinking: No.” You shake your head vigorously.

“Fine! I won’t mess with your love life! But you should add something to your painting based on that.” She winks and grabs her brushes to continue on her painting. Your mind thinks about what you should add to your bland grayscale painting. Sebastian always wore black too, so you couldn’t really add anything like that. Then you remember the ring he wore; it had purple gemstones. Maybe a pop of a dark purple will help bring something more to your piece. You end up painting some shapes that resemble what you think you’re feeling right now.

It’s very abstract, but after finishing it you feel… at peace. To get all your bottled up emotions put on the canvas was almost therapeutic. You stare at your painting as it dries, and sit to the side as Leah finishes up what she’s working on. It’s obviously not finished, but you can tell she also went the abstract route like yourself. She sets her brush down and takes a step back to look at your piece. The ginger simply nods her head slowly, with a look of concentration scrunching up her face.

Did she not like it? Was it really that bad? Of course she thought it was, she was much more skilled and had more recent experience under her belt. You were out of practice.

She gets out a thin brush and holds it out to you, breaking you out of your anxious thoughts. “It needs a signature.” Leah’s smile is gentle and sweet, much different than her previous excited mood. It’d been years since you signed anything on a piece of art. You almost forgot what your signature even looked or felt like, but after finding a spot in the corner of the canvas, you feel your hand guide itself and messily scrawl you signature to further cement its status as your artwork.

“Lovely! I’ll keep it here to dry. You can come back for it another time.” And with that she shoos you out of her cabin so she can get her cabin cleaned up. Her version of clean is just slightly less than untidy, but she insisted you leave her to her own devices despite your offer to help. 

For the next week you were set on working on your property to get it ready for the spring. You had checked out some books from the library, with some guidance from the librarian and museum curator, Gunther, and had started hitting the books. Your first task was to cut down the trees and clear out area for whatever you wanted to use the land for. You had no interest in raising cattle or growing vegetables, but you were thinking you might have to if you were going to bring in a living wage. As you stared onto the property, you imagined what it’d look like with rows of flowers instead of the rows of evergreens and barren maple trees that currently litter your property.

You had always loved helping Granny tend to the flowers when you were growing up, and helping Gramps with extracting honey from the beehives. Bees never scared you; they seemed to like you, actually. Smelling the flowers and listening to the buzzing of the bees always calmed you and you missed laying down between the flowerbeds staring up at the clouds. The warm rays of the summer sun kissing your skin, the wind gently blowing a breeze, and the sound of the countryside floating through the air.

It was a simpler time back then.

When you open your eyes again, you’re met with the dreary, dark winter day that lies ahead of you. With the axe firmly in your hands, you swing the blade into the thick bark of the oak tree you’ve chosen as your target. Your goal was to get a couple trees chopped down, and use the remaining wood for firewood or for another project you might need it for in the future. You didn’t think swinging the axe would be this hard; it looked a lot lighter than it actually was. With the winter winds biting at your exposed skin, you power through and almost forget that it’s even cold outside.

As you keep the rhythm of wedging the blade into the trunk of the tree, you start to lose track of time. The flow of your work is interrupted by a familiar figure walking towards you. One that surprised you, because out of all people in town to bother you, you weren’t expecting—“Sebastian?” As you drop the axe, your arms practically scream with gratitude. The muscles in your upper arms and shoulders are tense and sore from overworking them. Your breath is ragged, and you realize your heart is thundering in your chest. It’s definitely a mix of his sudden appearance and the arduous work you were putting in just a moment ago. He wasn’t one to seek out the attention of most people, so: What was he doing here?

Chapter Text

Sebastian gives a small wave as he approaches. The small smile that was tugging at the corners of his mouth melts into a slight frown of concern. “Y/N? What are you doing out here? It’s freezing.”

“I’m fine—” you start but he raises a brow, obviously not believing you. Without a word he tugs on your arm and guides you back to the warmth of your farmhouse. Once inside he pulls up a chair from the dining table and sets it in front of the fireplace.

“Warm yourself up.” He firmly commands and you obey, quickly realizing just how tired and cold you actually were. “I was coming to see if you wanted to come hang out with us at the saloon. We haven’t really heard from you since we played Solarion Chronicles last week…” Sebastian walks to the couch to retrieve the blanket that you usually kept for nights you wanted to curl up by the fireplace. “I… can teach you how to play pool if you’d like? I’m sure Sam would like for you to play with us.” You wrap the blanket he offers you around your shoulders and nod, teeth chattering. It really was pretty cold outside, wasn’t it?

When you get a better look at Sebastian, you realize he’s wearing the same getup he did at his birthday party: just a leather jacket with a hoodie underneath. “How are you not freezing?” Your lips form a small playful smile and he exhales sharply with amusement.

“I already told you; I don't get cold.”

“You should share some of your secret power with the rest of us.” You joke and almost audibly yelp when he takes a step closer to you, holding out his hands. He doesn’t say a word, but moves his eyes from you to his hands and gestures for you to take them. Had this been any other day before last week, you would’ve thought nothing of the gesture, but after coming to the realization of your crush on him, the act of holding his hands in yours caused you to panic.

“I won’t bite, I promise.” He smiles with his eyes.

He’s so pretty when he smiles.

You brush the thought from your mind and hesitantly reach your icicle fingers out to his hands. He wraps his hands around your fingers and squeezes gently. The warmth of his skin slowly melts your fingers back to a normal temperature, and you keep your gaze turned down and away from his as he stands beside your chair. Mostly to hide your blushing cheeks, but you could easily excuse the bitter winter winds nipping at your skin while you were working as the reason why they were red. You also thought if you had looked at him for too long you might just faint from how fast your heart was beating.

While looking down, you notice that his fingernails are painted an inky black. You weren’t sure if you’d ever seen them like that before, but then again, you weren’t always actively looking at his hands. His skin was dry from the winter air, but you could feel callouses from his hands on parts of your own as he held your hands tightly. He also had a couple simple rings on a few of his fingers, but one of them in particular stood out to you. It was the ring that you saw him wearing when you were over at his place playing Solarion Chronicles. Your curiosity was still eating at you at the story behind this ring of his.

Suddenly you hear his voice cut through your thoughts as his thumbs gently strokes the backs of your hands. “There, all better.” He doesn’t let go, though, and you hesitantly look up to get a glimpse of his face. His dark brown eyes are set on your form with a tiny bashful smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and a slight pink dusts his cheeks. You could easily intertwine your fingers—if you were brave enough to attempt such a gesture. It almost feels like the skin on his palms are getting clammier the longer he stands next to you, but for all you know it could just be the warmth from the fireplace combined with your shared warmth causing it. That was all you could handle, as you quickly let go of his hands and pull the blanket tighter around your shoulders.

Sebastian’s hands drop to his sides and takes a quick look around the room, his eyes settling on an object propped up against the wall on the other side of the room. “Did you make this?” He walks up to the painting you had made at Leah’s cabin and holds it up. You feel your face grow flush again as you nod. After a few moments of silently staring at the painting with a slow nod he speaks up. “It looks good. You should hang it up.”

“Thanks.”

“Of course.” He leans the painting back against the wall with care. “So… did you want to come with me to the saloon? You don’t have to.” He quickly adds, forcing his hands back into his jacket pockets. You originally planned on staying in and watching some movies on your phone, and had it been anyone else you would’ve politely declined. Though you were doubtful in the possibility of any sort of romantic endeavor with him, you still had some sliver of hope. Either way, you did enjoy his company.

“Sure. I need to get out of the house.” You get up, grab the bucket of water you’d filled earlier that day to snuff out the fire in the chimney. The two of you walk out to the porch and you take out your keys to lock up. The walk is silent but you’re comfortable with the lack of conversation. Every once and awhile you accidentally bump into one another, and each time you do you quickly take a step to the side to put distance between you two. Your chest feels tight from the long time you’ve spent alone with one another, and you quicken your pace to get to the saloon.

In your head you come up with excuses just in case he asks. I’m cold and I want to get back inside. You nod to yourself in your head and soon enough you end up on the doorstep of the Stardrop Saloon. He steps ahead and holds the door open for you, and you zoom inside to the side room where you all usually hang out. Emily, the barmaid, gives you a greeting with a smile and you wave in return. You can hear Sam’s and Abby’s voices coming from the right, and as you enter Abby speaks. “Finally! Seb is—” Her voice abruptly halts as she looks to see you with Sebastian following closely behind you.

“Bee!” Sam calls out, going in for his trademark bear hug, and you feel your ears burn red. You hadn’t been called by that nickname in years.

“Bee?” Abby and Sebastian raise a brow in confusion.

"Sammy..." You cover your face. It was a silly nickname he had coined when you were very young and it stuck around; even Jodi and Kent started to use it.

“Yeah! Don’t y'all remember? Y/N here loved bees when we were younger. She was the bee whisperer, honestly. She had no fear and one day she tried to hold a bee in her hands and ended up getting stung right in her palm! So we started calling her little Bumblebee" Sam laughs at the memory, but you keep your face covered with your hands.

You hear an amused exhale come from Sebastian. "That's cute."

"It's not cute; I was stupid." You plop down on one of the couches and cross your arms. Sam really knew how to embarrass you.

“I personally like my nickname for you,” Sebastian slips off his leather jacket and walks over to toss it on the red armchair next to you. His voice lowers in volume so that only the two of you can hear it, “but Bee is a cuter nickname.” You huff in mock frustration to mask your bashfulness. “You want to learn how to play pool with Sam and I?” His voice returns to a normal volume and he goes to grab the cues from the nearby wall.

“You’re going to play today, Bee?” You didn’t necessarily hate the nickname; it reminded you of simpler times, but you were going to have to get used to it. You nod and set your jacket down on top of Sebastian’s.

Abby perks up at this and hops towards the pool table. “Oh, then I’ll join too! I’ve played a couple times. We can do teams.” She goes to join Sebastian but he simply hands her and Sam a cue for each of them and walks straight to you.

“You and Sam can be on a team. I’m the best one here so I think it might be better if I teach Farmer Bee here.” A smug smirk spreads across his face and you roll your eyes at his not-so humble brag.

“Hey!” Sam’s smile betrays his tone, and he gives a playful punch into Sebastian’s shoulder.

“Well, neither you have beaten me yet, have you?” Abby and Sam glance at each other, holding back chuckles. “I rest my case.” He holds out a cue to you and you turn to the table as he starts to explain the rules. He lets Abby break the triangle of billiard balls and the game begins. During each step of the way he slowly and thoroughly explains the tricks to landing the balls into the pockets. Abby and Sam are only slightly better than you at landing balls in the pockets, while Sebastian seems to get one in almost every time he goes for a shot.

You try your best, but struggle to hold the cue without looking and feeling awkward. When you rear up for your next shot, Sebastian freezes you. “I’m going to adjust your form, is that okay?” He asks before approaching you.

“Uh, sure.” You nod, and he gently moves your arms and the cue stick in the correct position, careful as to not get too close to you, but your chest gets tight when his skin touches yours.

“Aaaand, there. You’re good to go.” Sebastian steps back and you try to hit the white cue ball against your target. It’s much more accurate and graceful than the first couple attempts you made, and the ball you hit bounces off the edge and rolls directly into the pocket you were aiming for.

“I did it!” You hop up and look to Sebastian with a smile.

“Good job, Bee!” Sam nudges you and Abby gives a small congratulations.

Sebastian looks down to you with a soft grin and ruffles the hair atop your head. “Good job, Farmer.” You playfully swat his hand away and fix your hair and when you look back to him his warm gaze is still trained on you. Had it not been for the fact that Abby and Sam were in the room you were sure you would’ve gotten lost in his dark eyes, but you turn back to your opponents and watch as Sam tries his best to land their ball into a pocket, but accidentally hits one of yours and Sebastian’s.

As the night goes on, you feel yourself more comfortable with playing the game, and you and Sebastian do win in the end. “I told you, I never lose.” He whispers to your ear loud enough for the others to hear and the hairs on the back of your neck rise from the heat of his breath on your ear.

“We’re going to beat you one of these days.” Sam pouts and takes Abby’s cue stick to put it away for her. Sebastian takes yours and you are left looking over at your purple-haired friend. Her piercing blue eyes bore into you, and as she catches your gaze she nervously bites at the skin on her lip before turning back towards the boys.

“I’m going out for a smoke real quick.” Sebastian turns to leave and you walk to stand next to Sam, who perks up at remembering something.

“Oh! Y/N, you should totally come jam with us this weekend! Your bass is still sitting up in the attic, you forgot to grab it. We need a bass player, right Abby?” He nudges the girl who is staring down at her phone. At the sound of this invitation, she looks up from the screen through her eyebrows, causing an unamused and obviously angry look to her face.

“Sure.”

“Whaddya say, Y/N?” Sam beams a smile to you and you shrug once again, feeling your anxiety crawling back to your stomach. You hadn’t really done any of your hobbies in years; especially playing your bass.

“I’m actually gonna use the bathroom real quick.” You walk off to do your business, and as you exit the bathroom and head back towards the billiard room, you hear Abby’s voice ring out through the jukebox blasting in the saloon.

“Why are you always inviting her?”

“Bro, she’s my cousin. I want her to be included, and I want her to get out of that cabin every once and awhile; she really needs it.”

You want to walk in on their conversation, but your curiosity gets the best of you and you keep your hiding spot out of their line of sight. “I hate the whole ‘gloomy emo girl’ bullshit she pulls. It’s not cute or anything.” You can’t believe what you’re hearing. You considered her your best friend growing up. You were attached at the hip. She was so nice to you when you had initially moved into town, but you knew the two of you had been drifting away from one another.

Your cousin defends you. “You don’t know the first thing about Y/N; she’s gone through so much. She can be as sad as she wants with what she’s been through.”

“I honestly think she made up whatever sob story she told you and she’s doing it to get attention.”

That was the last straw for you so you entered the room, sporting your usual blank expression. Sam’s shoulders tensed up as he looks up to see you standing in the doorway. Abby’s eyes are widened slightly, obviously not expecting to get caught shit-talking by the person she was talking about. There’s a silence that settles between the three of you and you stare with hollow eyes to Abby. Her brows furrow, more out of confusion than anything, and she nervously twirls a lock of her purple hair around a finger. Sam is still frozen in place, taken hostage by the thick tension rising in the room. “I know I’m gloomy; it’s all that plagues my mind everyday. Fuck you, Abby.” Though one would expect rage in your voice, it’s calm as a breeze in the spring time. You never raise your voice and it’s actually fairly monotone the entire time you speak. You turn your gaze to Sam. “I’m sorry, Sammy. I think I’m going to go home for now.” You don’t wait for his protests and turn around to the entrance of the saloon, pulling your hood over your head and stuffing your hands into your sweater pocket.

Sam turns to Abby, whose mouth is agape in utter shock. “What the fuck, Abby? You think being jealous of my cousin gives you the right to treat her like that?” She avoids his gaze and her pale skin grows flushed with embarrassment. “Just because Seb doesn’t want to fuck you doesn’t mean you get to treat her like shit. Especially since she’s my family. Fuck you.” His voice raises for the first time ever in their friendship, leaving the girl in utter shock at the volume and ferocity he speaks to her, and he grabs his jacket to chase after you.

The front door of the saloon slams open as you rush out in a silent rage. Sebastian looks up from his phone, cigarette still nestled in his mouth. “Everything okay?” He tilts his head at the question. You freeze in place and glance at him from your peripherals, not allowing the filter in your brain work to formulate the correct words.

“Yeah, your girlfriend’s a massive bitch.” With the same empty voice, you turn your attention back to the path ahead of you and take the dirt path back to the cabin on the farm. Sebastian stares at your back as you trudge off, brow raised in utter confusion.

Not soon after, Sam speeds by while struggling to get his jacket on in the rush. Sebastian pushes some of his hair out of his eyes and glances between the saloon and the path to the farm. Worried about you and his best friend, he decides to walk past Pierre’s towards the farm, picking up the pace of his walking.

Sam catches up with you and follows you to your porch as you try to close the door behind you. “It’s fine, Sammy. What she said wasn’t necessarily wrong; I am gloomy. I know it.”

“Yeah, but you don’t do it for attention. You have every right to be sad. She’s just—” the two of you have arrived at your front door, and you pull out the key to unlock it, “Jealous. She’s very jealous of you.”

You shoulder your way into the cabin, almost shutting the door on Sam, but you open it wide to invite him in. “Why would she be jealous of me?” You know exactly why, but try to play dumb for his sake. Sam closes the door behind him and kicks off his shoes, making it seem like he expects to stay there for awhile.

“Well…” he grimaces, searching for the right words to say, “she’s always kind of been the ‘quirky alt girl’ in town and she prides herself in her uniqueness. Now that you’re here, she probably feels like you took that from her. You were the talk of the town when you arrived. She’s also… had the hugest crush on Seb ever since we were kids. I don’t know if you remember, but she’s been pining for him the minute he moved into town.”

You remembered quite clearly. You’d be very surprised if Sebastian didn’t know. Abby made it so obvious with the displays of affection and always volunteering to be his partner whenever they’d play games. Even in the present, it was painfully obvious since she didn’t try to hide it (or she was just really bad at making it subtle). She was always draping an arm around his shoulders, nudging him playfully, or some other not-so-subtle way of making physical contact with him. You didn’t care. Nothing she did made you feel threatened; Sebastian wasn’t an item to be won, no matter if you or Abby liked him. He wasn’t yours to claim.

The two of you are interrupted by a knock on the door. You glance at Sam, who’s already standing up to answer the door for you. As it swings open, you are both pleasantly surprised to see the man you were just speaking about. “Speak of the devil…” You mutter under your breath.

“Sorry, am I interrupting something?” Sebastian rubs the back of his neck while avoiding everyone’s eyes.

“Nah,” Sam shakes his head, and you can hear his normal friendly demeanor returning. Your cousin turns to catch your eyes, silently asking if you wanted Sebastian to be there or not.

“Come in.” You lean your head on your hand that is being propped up by your elbow on your dingy dining room table. Sebastian enters, frozen in place at the front door while he looks around the cabin curiously. You were suddenly feeling a little self-conscious about the lack of decor in your new home. You hadn’t bothered to decorate since moving in or since you had Sebastian’s birthday party. There was nothing that screamed “you” in the cabin: the walls were empty, there were no knick-knacks displayed on shelves, no photos. It was empty.

He slips his boots off and sets them by the door. You inwardly groan; Sam was probably going to bother you for the next couple hours as consolation for what happened back at the saloon. You just wanted to sleep the evening away. “So are we going back to the saloon or…?” He takes a seat on the nearby sofa and Sam joins him. The blonde boy exchanges a glance with you, waiting to see if you’ll explain what happened. You’re not sure if that was a smart idea.

“You guys can, but your girlfriend was being pretty bitchy after you had left for your smoke break.”

Sam smacks his face with his palm and Sebastian’s face grows slightly flushed. “A-Abby’s not my girlfriend.”

You click your tongue. “She sure loves to act like she is.”

“Y/N—” Sam tries to diffuse the situation but you sigh dramatically.

“It’s whatever. I can keep living rent free in her mind all she wants.” Silence falls between the three of you and you lay your head on the table. Sam and Sebastian have a silent conversation using facial expressions alone, never uttering a word for at least a minute or so.

You glance over to the boys and they immediately stop once they see your eyes on them. Sam perks up with an idea. “How about… we do a movie night instead?”

“I’m sorry, Sammy, but I have, like, no movies. Or anything to watch them on…” You avoid their eyes.

“We can go to my place.” Sebastian offers almost immediately, and clears his throat. “I’ve got plenty of room in the basement and then we won’t bother your mom, Sam.”

Sam looks to you to see what you want to do before he agrees. You honestly want to just tuck yourself back into bed just to stare at your ceiling until 4 am; like you did most nights. That was a typical Friday night for you. Just as you're about to politely decline, you catch Sebastian's gaze and he looks... worried. Like he's hoping for dear life that you accept and join them. It was the same look he’d give you when he offered to do a “smoke break” with him.

"Yeah, that sounds fun."

Sebastian and Sam's shoulders relax the second you say this, and your cousin is nearly hopping in place with excitement. "I'll let mom know I'm sleeping over, then." This must've been a common occurrence if all he had to do was let Jodi know his whereabouts. Then again, you all were young adults, so it was sweet that he was constantly thinking about keeping her in the loop. "A movie night with two of my favorite people; I wouldn't want to spend my Friday any other way!" He puts an arm around Sebastian's shoulders then turns to you with that stupid grin on his face. He makes it really hard to be mopey.

You change out of your jeans into some comfy pants then follow the boys along the path behind the farm to the mountains. Sam had sandwiched himself between you and Sebastian, pulling you close to him with his arms around both your shoulders. You can't help but smile and laugh along with his stupid jokes as you trek up the mountain path. It feels good; spending time with Sam like this. You know he's constantly worried about you, given your recent past and normal reclusive behavior. You feel those dark emotions disappear for now, and you decide you're going to enjoy your time with the boys.

On the last leg of your journey to Sebastian’s place, you lag behind and the boys are chatting with hushed words. No doubt talking about what happened at the saloon shortly after Sebastian had gone out to smoke. “She said what?” Sebastian’s voice raises in pure shock, eyebrows furrowed. He glances back at you (as you pretend to not listen to what just happened), then back to Sam, a look of pure anger melting on to his face.

“Whoah, Seb,” Sam calms him down momentarily, and gives one more glance back to you, smiling.

Soon the three of you reach Sebastian’s house and file behind one another downstairs to the basement. Sebastian pulls out a set of keys and unlocks the door. Strange. You think to yourself but shrug it off. On the table you notice a strange object made of glass and recognize it right away. Sebastian sees you eyeing it and rushes over to put it away. "Shit, I forgot I left that out; I was, uh, smoking a bit before I got you, Farmer. Sorry."

Ah, so that's why he keeps his room locked. "It's cool dude."

Sebastian hides the bong over by the table with his tv on it then speaks up. "Sam, can you get the couch set up? I'll grab the TV."

"Yessir!"

It's obvious they've done this several times, as they have gotten everything set up in just a couple minutes. You stand awkwardly to the side as Sam unfolds the bed from the pull-out couch and Sebastian moves the large table in front of the couch to set the tv up, grabbing extension cords and plugging everything in.

"C'mon, Bee." Sam pats the space next to him on the pull-out mattress, and you cringe once again at the old nickname while taking your boots off. You still were getting used to it.

After plopping yourself on the pull-out couch, you pull your knees tightly up to your chest and stare at the sheets. Abby’s words ring in your head. They were the thoughts that constantly plagued your mind, so you should be used to it, but hearing it from another human being made it seem so much more real. Like a confirmation of all the fears you had about the people around you. You had struggled for a couple years with your dark thoughts. It was mostly because of your mother, but then your father passed and it got worse. Much worse. Everyday felt like your mind was in a haze, the fog never seemed to lift even on your good days. Some days it felt like your mind and heart were empty; no emotions, just a hollow feeling that you were lacking something.

Your chest felt tight the more you thought about it, and you felt the tears starting to form in the corners of your eyes. “Y/N?” Sam’s voice breaks through your mind. It sounded like he’d tried several times to get your attention and you notice his hand on your shoulder. “What movie do you want to watch?” You look over to Sebastian who’s holding out three movies for you to choose from. There’s a stop-motion animated movie that you loved growing up, an anime movie, and a super hero movie. They are all movies that you would definitely enjoy as you have seen all of them before, and you give a weak smile of gratitude to him.

You silently point to the anime movie and Sebastian turns to his game console to pop the DVD in. Grabbing his controller and a large blanket he moves to the side of the pull-out couch and asks, “Room for one more?” while gesturing to the empty spot next to you.

“There’s plenty!” Sam scoots to his left and you follow suit. Sebastian drapes the blanket over you and your cousin, then falls down onto the bed, nearly crashing into you. When his body hits you, you feel like there should be butterflies forming in your stomach, but none appear. That hollow feeling lingers and you take a deep breath and stare off to the surface of the table. Your vision blurred and unfocused.

Sebastian reaches behind him on the wall next to the door and flips the light switch off and gestures to his laptop. “Do you guys mind if I work while we watch this?” The two of you shake your heads and focus on the movie in front of you. While you watch it, you can’t help but think deeply about your current emotions; or lack of them. You want to cry, but you want to feel nothing. You have so many emotions present, but also hollow at the same time. You’re confused the entire time, and the movie goes by in a haze. By the end of it, you are sobbing. Partially because the it makes you emotional, but also because of what’s happened and you use it as an excuse to let out everything you’ve been bottling up.

Sebastian gets up to put another movie in, and returns to his spot next to you; this time leaving his laptop on the table where the tv is. He leans on the back of the couch and folds his hands in his lap while the stop-motion animated movie begins. You manage to hum along to the songs in the movie, totally engrossed in its artistry and story as it rolls on. About halfway through the movie Sam is knocked out cold; snoring lightly next to you. To your right, Sebastian’s head is tilted upwards and his eyes are closed gently.

I could leave.

The thought pops into your head and you pull your knees back to your chest. They were asleep, you were sure they wouldn’t mind you walking back home. As sneakily as you can, you crawl to the end of the bed and tip toe to the door to slip your boots and coat on. Without making a sound you walk up the stairs like a ninja, and make your way out to the blistering night.

You’re reminded of the late night walks you used to take in the fall. The moon is high, and it’s almost midnight by the looks of it. As you walk out, you glance over to the mountain path that leads directly to your farm. You could easily take the path, but Lewis had warned you that it gets icy during the winter. You’d be careful, it’s not like you were sprinting down the path. You turn to go around the house towards the path and stuff your hands deeper into your pockets to help keep them warm. Your feet crunch against the snow with each step you take, and you can see your breath puff out from your mouth in a tiny cloud with each breath you take. The wind nips at your exposed cheeks and you keep your eyes on the path ahead of you. Everything seems fine until you suddenly feel your feet fly out from below you. An unseen patch of ice causes you to crash down into the snow and the wind gets knocked from your lungs as your body strikes the frozen ground.

Instead of standing up right away, you decide to close your eyes and feel the snow against your back. Your arms are spread out to your sides and your fingers start to twitch with the cold settling in. It should be uncomfortable, painful, even, but you feel nothing. You take several deep breaths. Then your eyes shoot open to look up at the inky night sky above you. The clouds are nearly nonexistent, so you can see the sea of glitter that litters the sky.

It was beautiful.

The positive thought doesn’t last long in your mind, though, and you close them once more to squeeze out the tears that were slowly building up over the night. They stream down the side of your face and into the snow. They keep going. You don’t sob, but take quiet ragged breaths to make the least amount of sound as possible. When you open your eyes you’re met with a new sight.

“Hey, Farmer.”

Sebastian is kneeling with his face over yours and though he’s trying to smile you can see the sympathy behind it. You close your eyes again, naively hoping that he’ll actually disappear somehow.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to talk. Mind if I join you?”

“Go ahead…” Your voice is barely above a whisper.

Sebastian sits himself in the snow and mimics your position next to you, folding his hands over his stomach instead of spreading his arms out to his sides. “I saw you walk out. Didn’t think you’d sneak off like this.”

“I slipped on the ice…” You sigh and keep your eyes shut tightly.

“You gotta be careful back here.” You hear him shift next to you and, despite your reluctance, turn your face to look at him. His dark eyes are trained on you, and the small smile he had was long gone; now he’s obviously concerned. “Y/N, I’ve been… very worried about you. I know what it’s like to lay in the snow, not having any idea on what to do.”

“I hate myself.” The words slip too easily from your mouth. You’d said it in your head so many times that it came out just as easy as your own name. “Abby was right, you know; I am gloomy. I shouldn’t drag you all into it.”

“What Abby said was uncalled for.” Sebastian snaps, voice full of a bubbling rage, but a sigh escapes his lips. “I’m sorry that you hate yourself… I want you to know that I always enjoy our time together. Even now.”

Silence.

You’re not sure what to feel. His words should encourage you, but deep down you don’t quite believe him. Why why why would anyone want to spend their time around someone always in their head? All your smiles are forced. You’re constantly afraid of bringing the mood down just by your presence.

Before you know it, you’re crying again.

The snow shifts next to you, and Sebastian gently wraps an arm around you and softly rubs your arms in an attempt to help soothe you. You feel yourself curling up and leaning into his embrace, letting the tears flow once again. As you lay on the floor and sob into Sebastian’s chest, you try to clear your mind and allow yourself to just feel. It feels awful. It’s painful. Feeling like someone’s ripped your heart open and the emotions are bleeding out through the tears flowing down your face.

You don’t know how long you lay there in his arms, but soon your breathing steadies and you realize how cold your hands have gotten. Your body shivers from the cold and Sebastian pulls away from you. “Let’s head back.” And the two of you return to the warmth of his home.

After stripping your jacket and boots off, you stay still at the door of his room, rubbing your arm awkwardly. Sebastian looks back over his shoulder as he moves towards his dresser. “Hey, your clothes are soaked. You can wear some of mine for tonight.” He quickly looks back to his dresser as he hides the blush forming on his cheeks. He hands you a black t-shirt and some pajama pants. “You can change up in the bathroom. I’ll throw your stuff in the dryer so it’s ready for you tomorrow.”

When you return with your discarded damp clothes in your arms you see Sebastian on the couch next to Sam. Sebastian looks up from his laptop and his eyes widen slightly at the sight of you in his clothes, but he catches himself staring before looking back to his laptop screen. “Y-you can sleep in my bed tonight.” He points to the bed in the corner and keeps his eyes on his laptop screen.

“Sebastian?” He looks over to you, surprised by the sudden break of silence in the room. “Can I sleep over here with you guys?”

Without hesitating he nods. “Of course.”

You didn’t want to be alone for the night. You were alone every night. Any other time you’d be too embarrassed to ask, but you really needed to make sure you weren’t by yourself. You crawl into your original spot between the boys and pull the covers up over your legs. “Thanks, Sebastian.” You mutter and rest against the back cushion of the pull-out couch to start scrolling your phone. A few hours pass before you fall asleep. You’re not sure when it actually happened, but your phone is still in your hand and your head is leaning on Sebastian’s shoulder. His hands are still placed on the keys of his laptop and his head is leaning atop of yours. The two of you sleep like that for the rest of the night, well into the morning, and sometime in the night his arm ends up draped around your shoulders.

Chapter Text

Sam wakes up first, as usual, and sees the sight of the two of you. With a mischievous grin he pulls out his phone and snaps a pic, no doubt as blackmail to tease Sebastian with in the future. Later, your eyes flutter open and you grumble some incoherent mumblings as your brain slowly realizes that there’s an added weight against your side. You turn your head slightly and realize that you and Sebastian fell asleep leaning on one another and his arm is wrapped around your shoulders. Without thinking you untangle yourself from him, causing him to stir awake. You managed to free yourself before he could fully wake up so you decide not to even mention it to him.

“Mornin!” Sam lets out a chipper greeting, causing both you and Sebastian to jump. The three of you stand up and stretch, and that’s when Sam noticed you wearing Sebastian’s clothes. He catches his friend’s eyes as you crawl out of bed and Sebastian returns the look with widened eyes meaning: “I’ll tell you later.” After eating breakfast, and you changing back into your now dry clothes, you and Sam go to take your leave.

Sebastian decides to walk with you, saying he needed to go to the store to grab more cigarettes. You take the mountain path back home, and try to ignore the you-shaped imprint in the snow from when you fell the previous night. The boys talk about the Solarion Chronicles campaign and you find yourself drawn into the conversation. Normally, you’d tune them out and stare ahead blankly, but they seemed so animated and excited about it that you couldn’t help but join them.

You soon reach the north entrance of your property and just as you’re about to say your goodbyes to your cousin and Sebastian, you notice an eerily familiar figure standing on your porch. The small smile you previously had on your face dims as your eyes widen at the sight in front of you. You freeze in place and the boys’ eyes follow your gaze to the woman standing on your porch. She turns to face you and has a smile plastered on her face the minute she sees you. Your cousin steps in front of you in a protective stance, putting his hands out to keep anyone from passing. Sebastian, seeing your far-off stare and tense posture, stands closer to you and firmly grabs your hand.

Your voice shakes while you try to be brave. “M-Mom?”

What was she doing here?

How did she find me?

You feel your body tense up, your hand tightening its grip around Sebastian’s the longer you stare at your mom. Slowly your posture falls inward to make yourself seem smaller behind your cousin. You even take a small step backwards to attempt to hide behind Sebastian’s shoulders.

“Y/N, sweetie.” Your mother takes a step down the stairs of the porch but Sam stands steady to keep you from her. “Samson—”

“Don’t call me that. What do you want?” Sam snaps.

Your mom crosses her arms and frowns. “I’m here to see my daughter for the holidays, of course.” You still didn’t know how she found you. You hadn’t talked to your mother in forever. After you had turned 18, you moved what you could from your mother’s home to an apartment near your college. Dad had helped you out with some of the financial aspects of moving out, and was more than happy you had made the decision to leave. Over the next few years you slowly stopped talking with her, and later you cut all contact with her. It’d been almost four or five years since you’d heard from her, and it was almost like seeing a ghost; just not the one you’d like to see if you had the choice.

“How did you even know she was living here?” Sebastian’s voice has an edge to it that you’ve never heard before, but you focus on keeping yourself as far from her as possible.

“That’s none of your business. It doesn’t matter, though. What matters is I’m here to spend time with Y/N.” She taps her fingers impatiently and tries to take another step forward. “Y/N, you really shouldn’t let your cousin and boyfriend here talk to me like that.” She returns her attention to you with a pointed stare.

You see Sebastian look over his shoulder to you for your next move. If you want him to keep her from you, he will, but if you want to give her a chance he will let you speak to her. The sudden appearance of your mom was more than stressful; it was anxiety-inducing. You were still wondering how she even found you. There was no way the hospital had given your information to her, and even then it was from your old address. There had to have been someone in town that had tipped her off, there was no other way.

Your attention returns back to the present and you mutter to Sebastian in a voice barely above a whisper, “I-I don’t want to talk to her right now.”

He nods firmly and allows Sam to answer. “She doesn’t want to see you right now. Leave.”

Your mother’s face contorts into a fierce frown. “Who are you to tell me I can’t see my daughter?”

“Leave. Now.” Sebastian practically growls and steps in front of you to block her from your view. Mom says nothing, but you’re all too familiar with the flaming irritation building behind her eyes. She huffs and turns down the path towards the bus stop, and the farther she walks away the more your body calms down. “Are you okay?” He turns to you and Sam follows. They both place a hand on your shoulders to help you keep your balance. Without uttering a word you nod and close your eyes while you take several deep breaths.

“You shouldn’t stay here tonight, just in case she tries to come visit you without someone else here.” Sam speaks up, looking over his shoulder to where your mother had disappeared. Honestly, you wanted to just lock yourself in your cabin and never leave. You wanted to hide away and sleep until the problem—your mother—went away. However, you nod and pull your coat tighter around you for comfort. The boys look at one another, eyes flooded with concern. “I would say come to my place, but that’ll be the first place she’ll check if you don’t answer the door next time she tries to see you.”

“You can stay with me.” Sebastian quickly offers. “It won’t be a problem, I’ve got plenty of space in my room.”

”Good idea; she won’t think to go to your place. Let’s get a bag packed for you, Y/N, just in case you want to stay a little longer.” Sam and Sebastian guide you up the stairs to your front door and you scramble around to stuff clothes, pajamas, and toiletries into a backpack. You’re packed within minutes and lock your door behind you when you return outside. “I’ll head home and let mom know what’s going on; she’s not going to be happy.”

Sam hurries off back home, leaving you with Sebastian. “Hey,” you turn to look at his worried face, “you doing okay?” You shrug your shoulders. “That was a lot. Let’s start heading back before we freeze our asses off out here.” He gestures towards the mountain path and the walk back is silent. Your only thoughts are on your mother and the memories of living with her. It’s almost like you’re back in that tiny two-bedroom apartment having to guess whether or not you’d be hearing from her about your “shitty attempt at cleaning.” She’d make you clean the apartment twice over, some times three times if she was really drunk. You tried your best to stay out of the house to hang out with friends or stay at extracurriculars after school, but Fridays were cleaning days. Your friends always suspected something was wrong at home, but never found out what exactly.

You blink, and suddenly you’re in Robin’s carpenter shop. Sebastian greets his mother, who gives a puzzling look at the sight of you with your packed bag. He notices her gaze on you and simply says that they can talk later. Robin nods slowly but smiles gently at you before you both descend to the basement. You throw your bag on his couch and crash down after, and let out a sigh that you’d been holding in since you had left your farm. “Do you need anything? A snack? A drink?”

“A glass of water would be nice…”

Sebastian hurries up the stairs, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Though the tension in your muscles had disappeared, your heart was still pounding in your chest. Closing your eyes, you tried to take deep breaths and focus on counting to 10. It seems to work for a moment, but your body can’t seem to calm itself down. Your mind keeps going back to those horrible memories. Soon enough, the tears start to flow and don’t seem to have any intention on stopping. You curl up on the sofa and sob and sob into your hands, trying your best to keep the volume down to a minimum.

The sound of footsteps on the stairs startles you and you try your best to compose yourself, but you feel your eyes are swollen and red. “Hey,” Sebastian hurries to your side and sets down the glasses of water in his hands on the side table, “you don’t have to hide and cry; you know that, right?” You shrug, he sighs. “I’m going to work on some work for a bit, do you want me to put a movie on for you?”

“I think I just need time to sit and do nothing.” You mumble and he nods.

“That’s okay. I’ll come check on you in a bit, okay?” He stands up, grabs his glass of water, and situates himself at his computer desk, clicking away on his keyboard. You take a few more deep breaths and lean your body on the arm of the couch and shut your eyes to focus on the sound of his keyboard. After zeroing in on the sound of Sebastian’s keyboard, your brain finally slows down and you feel yourself slowly start to drift into a slumber. 

When you wake up you realize a blanket has been draped over you while you were asleep. On the side table next to the couch is a tall glass of water which you grab hastily to gulp down. With a look around the room you notice that Sebastian is nowhere to be found. Normally he’d probably be working on a project over at his computer, but he was not in the room with you. You stand up, stretch your arms, and roam up the stairs.

There was soft moonlight beaming through the windows to the left in the entryway of Robin’s carpenter shop. Your phone illuminates your face as you check the time; 12:06 AM. You sigh. Another day wasted. As you turn to head towards the kitchen, you hear a loud clank followed by a swift curse. You follow the source of the noise to the garage and crack the door open to find Sebastian on his back underneath a sleek motorcycle massaging his forehead with his hand. He looked different, though. It takes a moment, but you notice that he’s wearing glasses.

“Oh, hey, Y/N.” He greets with an embarrassed grimace.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses.” You smile softly. He seems surprised by the sudden comment, but rolls out from under the motorcycle and sits up.

“Well I just about broke them from dropping that stupid wrench on my face.” He tries to laugh away his frustration. “I’ve had them since I was 10. I just never wore them because I always thought they were embarrassing. I normally wear contacts now.”

“Well they look nice on you.” You mumble and his smile grows in size.

“Thanks…” Sebastian then notices your eyes on the motorcycle shining in the dim light of the garage. His tools are strewn around his work area while his hands are stained with the oil and grime from the machinery. “Have you ever ridden one before?” You shake your head. “When it gets warmer I can take you for a ride; it’s pretty fun.” You try and push down the blush forming on your cheeks at the thought of speeding down the country roads while tightly holding onto Sebastian.

“I honestly thought you’d be working on your computer at this hour.” You lean up against the doorframe and cross your arms. Though you tried to put on a soft smile, he was easily able to see through the facade and sense your underlying anxiety.

“I was having trouble concentrating. I’ve been worried about you, you know.”

“I’m sorry…” You mumble on instinct and play with the hem of your sweater.

Sebastian’s head shakes as he stands from his spot on the floor. “Hey, why are you apologizing?”

“I’m causing more trouble for you and Sam—”

“This is what friends do; we help each other.” He adjusts his glasses on his face. “Plus, Sam is your family and he’ll do anything for you.”

“I thought moving into the cabin would keep me from relying on him and Aunt Jodi so much. I don’t want to cause even more trouble for them.” You had done enough with Aunt Jodi driving several hours to pick you up that day. You took up space in their home and ate their food; all for free.

“Y/N,” Sebastian’s hands reach out for yours but he hesitates, “Sorry, my hands are a little dirty right now.” He chuckles and wipes them on his jeans before gently taking your hands in his. “You’re not causing trouble for us. We want to help you because we care about you. We won’t let anything happen to you.” He gives a reassuring squeeze of your hands. “I won’t let her hurt you.” He emphasizes and continues to brush his thumbs on your hands. Oddly, it has a calming effect that you weren’t expecting. He speaks up once more after a short silence. “You can stay as long as you need. I mean that.” You’re suddenly acutely aware of his hands in yours and you let go to stuff your own hands into your sweater pocket.

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome…” You try and be polite with a hesitant smile.

“It’s okay to let us help you, Y/N. You’re not a burden, I promise.” Sebastian looks down at the mess he’s made in the garage and sighs. “I… gotta clean this up. You should head to bed.”

“I honestly can’t sleep right now.”

“Right. Uh, it’s a little cold, but we could go on a midnight stroll just like we used to last month.”

It had been a long time since the two of you had gone on a walk with each other. Fall offered more opportunities to walk around town in the dead of night, but the bitter cold of winter took a hold of the Valley. “I’d like that.”

“Let me get cleaned up and then we can head out.”

So you sneak back down the stairs to the basement and bundle up for the cold night ahead of you. Sebastian follows after you several minutes later and catches you on his couch scrolling your phone. When he’s ready he leads the way back outside and you’re not ready for the air to nip at your ears and nose. You were now regretting not grabbing a hat. Sebastian turns to you with an expectant look twinkling in his eyes. “Where to, Farmer?”

“How about the beach?”

“Let’s go.” Sebastian nods and you follow him out the doors and into town.

The two of you walk in complete silence, besides the crunching of your feet in the snow. It was almost pitch black outside, but the moon provided enough light for you to see where you were going as you passed the community center. The faint glow of lampposts in town could be seen in the distance the closer you got to Pierre’s store. Pelican Town was so different at this hour. It seemed even more peaceful than it already was, minus the nosey neighbors. You called them nosey, but you couldn’t blame them; not much happened in this town and you’re sure ever since you moved in there’s been more drama than the town has had in years.

It seemed like you blinked and you were suddenly on the dock at the beach. Sebastian was sitting down and inviting you to sit next to him. You oblige and sway your feet over the edge of the dock. You used to come here a lot in the fall and stare off into the horizon for hours on end. Before you had gotten closer to Sebastian, you had spotted him here a few times smoking a cigarette. Speaking of…

“Sebastian, I haven’t seen you smoke in a long time.” He jerks his body as if he’d just been caught in a lie, and he lets out a deep sigh.

“I’ve been trying not to smoke around you and the others. It’s not good for you.” As you glanced at him in the corner of your eyes you could see his foot twitching while his feet dangled from the edge of the dock.

“What about you, though?”

“Don’t worry about me.” His lips upturn in a smile, but it seems sad, almost. “I’m more worried about you. It was probably pretty triggering to see your mom like that today.” Your legs start to swing a little harder as you’re reminded of the day’s events. There was so much more Sebastian didn’t know, and you felt yourself inching towards word-vomiting your life’s story to him again. He made it so easy to vent all your problems to.

“I just want her to want me, Sebastian.” You pull your knees to your chest and stare off into the inky waves of the ocean. “She never wanted me. She constantly made sure I knew it and blamed me for all the problems with her life. It’s probably naive, but there’s a part of me that wants to make things better with her, even after all the terrible things she’s said to me. I just want her to love me.” Tears form in your eyes, and you swear you can feel them freezing to your face, but it’s just the cold sea breeze blowing against your cheeks. Your teeth start to chatter and you feel like you’re starting to lose a little bit of feeling in the tips of your ears.

“I hate that you have to go through this bull shit.” Sebastian grumbles, but softly wipes the tears from your cheeks with his mittened hand. Without saying more you dig your face into his chest and wrap your arms around him in a tight, desperate embrace. You’d cried so much tonight, you were surprised you even had any more tears left to shed. His arms slipped around your waist and he pulled you in even closer while resting his chin on the top of your head. “I know you’re hoping for her love, but… just know that even if she doesn’t end up being the person you want her to be, you still have many people here that love and care about you.”

He was right, though you still held on to that false hope. Aunt Jodi had been more of a mother in one month than your own mother had in your 24 years of being alive. Sam had always been trying to keep an eye on you and make sure you were included in his life. And then there was Sebastian; he was always willing to drop whatever he was doing to comfort you. He always seemed to understand exactly what you were feeling, and could calm you down when you felt overwhelmed with life. Maybe that’s why you’d fallen for him? Not everyone was as gentle as he was with you.

You don’t know how long you were sobbing into his chest, but you manage to hiccup, “I just wanted a normal family. Why couldn’t I have a normal family?” The tears continue to fall until your eyes have seemed to dried up, and you’re left with ragged and uneven breathing. It was all you wanted, ever since you were a kid. You were always envious of your classmates whose parents were still together. They didn’t have to travel between both parents’ houses; feeling like they were the reason their family had broken apart; wishing and wishing every night that by some miracle they’d come back together.

At some point you stopped crying and just let your weight fall into Sebastian. He managed to help get your breathing back to a normal pattern. He hesitated at first, but he slowly ran his fingers through your hair and you focused on that sensation. The salty ocean air wafted in your nose, and you could hear the waves lapping against the posts of the dock into the rocks below.

Once you finally pull away from Sebastian you wipe your face and let out a chuckle laced with embarrassment. “I’m sorry—”

“Don’t apologize.” He stuffs his hands into his pockets.

You pause for a brief moment as you stare back out to the open sea. Its dark waters remind you of the void you constantly feel in your heart throughout every day and how you can easily get lost in it, just like any sailor could get lost in the raging waters of the ocean. You’ve lost yourself so many times in the ocean that was the void in your heart, but your guiding stars seemed to always help you find your way back, even though you still hadn’t been able to escape it quite yet. One of them was sitting next to you, and you realized you needed to thank him for all he has done to help keep you from falling victim to the void once more.

“Thank you.” You mumble and glance over to see if he has anything to say.

“You’re welcome, my little Farmer.” Sebastian quickly realizes what he’s said and swiftly avoids your eyes on him. Butterflies form in your stomach at the new addition to his nickname for you. There’s a tension slowly building between the two of you the longer you sit here in silence. It seems like there were several times that he opened his mouth to say something, but then thought twice about it and sighed quietly instead. Eventually he does end up starting the conversation again. “I think we should head home for the night, it’s getting real late.” Without another word he stands back up and offers a hand to help you back to your feet. You gladly accept and when he pulls you back up his hand lingers in yours a little longer than expected. It felt like his hand fit perfectly with yours. Whenever your skin touched it felt both calming and terrifying at the same time, if that were even possible.

You sneak a peek at his face, and realize he’s completely avoiding looking at you. In the moonlight you can see his cheeks are tinted red, but it could easily be from the bitter wind biting at any exposed skin the two of you have right now. You move to let go of his hand but he keeps a firm grip on yours. “Let’s go.” He orders simply and you follow his lead as he practically drags you back to his home. You weren’t sure what the sudden burst of weird energy was here, but you decided to not question it.

You both take off your winter gear the second you enter his bedroom and he leaves briefly to let you get changed into your sleepwear. When he returns he’s in his own pajamas, obviously ready to sleep for the night. You almost feel like he’s going to not say anything else just like he did on the journey back, but you’re surprised when all he does is wish you a quick and curt goodnight from his computer desk. He’s been acting strange lately… You shake off the thought and go to sleep on the couch.

“Nope; you can use my bed.” He orders without looking away from his monitor.

”Sebastian—”

“You’re not sleeping on the couch.” He glares over his screen.

”Yes I am.” You plop down on the couch and pull a blanket over your body. You can hear him grumble under his breath, and you find yourself slowly feeling drowsy the longer you sit on the couch. Later in the night/early morning he picks you up, hoping to not disturb your slumber, and moves you to his bed. He pulls out the mattress from the couch and when he goes to turn the lights off his hand hovers over the light switch. He gazes at your sleeping form for several seconds before sighing and flipping the switch for the night.

Chapter Text

Sebastian stirs awake and rubs the sleep from his eyes. He glances at you to see that you’ve also woken up, but doesn’t have the chance to say anything as Sam has greeted the two of you with a crazy amount of energy. He startles at Sam’s sudden greeting and notices that it causes you to jump as well. He catches a quick glance of you and stifles a smile at your bedhead and sleepy eyes. The three of you all stand up and get some stretches in, and Sebastian catches Sam’s eyes while you crawl from the bed. He obviously noticed that you weren’t wearing the clothes you came in, and were wearing Sebastian’s own clothes. He gives your cousin a wide-eyed glare silently implying he would talk about it later.

Sebastian leads you upstairs and employs Sam to help prepare a simple breakfast of toast and eggs, and you all eat in silence; still sleepy from the sleepover that you just had. “Farmer, I’ll get your clothes out of the dryer.” Sebastian announces after he picks up all the dishes, and rushes to the laundry room while you and your cousin sit tight in the kitchen. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he already has a feeling who it is.

Sam 11:45 AM

So, why is my cousin wearing your

clothes??? 😏

Sebastian 11:45 AM

I’ll tell you later, I promise.

He goes to put his phone in his pocket but then furiously types out another message.

Sebastian 11:46 AM

Nothing happened so don’t get any ideas.😒

He returns with your clothes and while you walk off Sam wiggles his eyebrows at Sebastian. Sebastian rolls his eyes and crosses his arms across his chest. “I told you nothing happened. I’ll explain later. When we don’t have eavesdroppers.” His voice drops in volume and Sam winks, eliciting another eye roll from Sebastian. Not long after, you return with his clothes folded nice and neat in your arms and hand it back to him.

“Thanks, for letting me use those.” You turn to make your way out of the house with Sam.

Sebastian almost lets the two of you leave but he speaks up. “Actually, I’m running low on cigarettes and I need to make a stop at Pierre’s. I’ll come with you.” He was really just looking for an excuse to spend more time with you before he didn’t hear from you for another week or so. Sam gives him a devious smirk but Sebastian ignores him and bundles up for the trek back to your cabin. The two boys start to talk about the Solarion Chronicles campaign and start to debate which characters would canonically say “Fuck.” It was getting animated, and you even got engrossed into the conversation.

They ruled that Abby’s barbarian would definitely say it, and uses it on the daily.

Sam’s bard would say it but flourish it and excuse its use as a part of his art form.

Though Sebastian himself would say it, they ruled that his wizard was far too scholarly to use such vulgar language.

And your cleric was physically incapable of uttering any sort of cuss word, despite that you yourself would also cuss a lot in real life.

The three of you laugh at the final rulings, and finally arrive at your cabin. You turn to go towards the porch, but you freeze in place and the smile on your face melts away in almost an instant. Sebastian follows your gaze to the front door and sees a woman standing there that he doesn’t recognize. The mystery woman hears your feet crunching in the snow and turns to face your approaching party. The instant she sees you, a smile is plastered on her face and she looks on endearingly. There’s something odd about her that Sebastian can’t shake, though; like her smile is disingenuous or over the top.

Sam recognizes her right away and immediately stands in front of you to block the woman, or anyone for that matter, from passing. Sebastian finally looks down to you and recognizes that dissociative face of yours. Your eyes are widened in both shock and fear, your muscles are tensed up, but you’re not quite looking at anything in particular. It’s like watching a terrified deer in the headlights. Without thinking he reaches for your hand and holds tight, slightly leaning into you to act as support.

“M-Mom?”

Sebastian’s eyes immediately see red at this. After that night on his birthday, he always thought that if he ever met your mom that it would take him everything not to deck her in the face. He never told you this, though, in fear that his anger issues would scare you off. He’d gotten much better at regulating his emotions and reactions to said emotions, but even he wasn’t perfect. Sebastian feels your hand tighten around his and notices your posture fall inwards, making you look smaller and weaker. You even take a step back to hide behind him.

“Y/N, sweetie.” Your mom takes a step down from the porch but Sam stands his ground with an equally stern stare. “Samson—” Sebastian knew how much his best friend hated the name. He refused to let anyone call him that except for his mother, who only ever called him that when he was in trouble.

“Don’t call me that. What do you want?” Sam’s voice cuts through like a dagger, causing your mother to cross her arms and frown.

“I’m here to see my daughter for the holidays, of course.”

Sebastian was practically shaking with rage at this. From what you had told him, it sounded like she never wanted a real relationship with you. For Yoba’s sake, even your grandparents had gone no contact with her. It was almost comical for her to waltz into town and claim she wanted to act like your mother after all this time, except for the fact that you had been so emotionally and mentally affected by it. He heard nothing but bad things about your mother, and he was not about to let her come in and ruin your life again.

“How did you even know she was living here?” His words laced with a bubbling rage.

The woman gives him a dirty look, looks him up and down real quick, and answers. “That’s none of your business. It doesn’t matter, though. What matters is I’m here to spend time with Y/N.” She starts to tap her finger impatiently on her crossed arm and moves to take a step forward towards you. “Y/N, you really shouldn’t let your cousin and boyfriend here talk to me like that.”

Boyfriend

Most days he’d be quick to correct someone on that, especially if it was between him and Abby, but now was not the time nor place—and he also felt a sliver of joy at hearing that word. People always thought he and Abby would end up together while you all were growing up. He was more reserved so most of what people saw was Abby’s sorry attempt at flirting. He loved her, as one of his best friends, but she was really bad at being subtle. They only saw her admiration of him, and never the fact that he was always uncomfortable with her small advances. It wasn’t her fault, he was just very awkward about interactions like that.

It was a miracle he had a brief relationship while he and Sam were living in Zuzu City. Both the living situation and the girlfriend didn’t last long; the two of them had realized how much they liked small town life and returned only a year later. As for the girlfriend: she wasn’t the problem, he was. It seemed to be smooth sailing at first, but when things started to get more serious he started to get flaky; he’d suddenly cancel on dates, get super anxious if she wanted to do more than just hold hands or small gentle kisses, and let his anxiety take control of his emotions. His anxiety manifested as anger or irritation, and his ex didn’t quite understand why he’d suddenly be cranky. He’d rather have her despise than pity him.

But then there was you.

You were an enigma to him; someone he sought out as an easy target to pick on when you were kids, but had always had a soft spot for. He had found any reason to mess with you as a way to let out his own frustrations and anger about his own family issues. Then he grew up. He learned how to better deal with his anger about his misfortunes, though sometimes he would let loose his emotions, and started to come to terms with his family life. Besides Demetrius being on his ass all the time, that is. He was completely different from the Sebastian you knew growing up, and he’s glad that you were able to see this side of him rather than live with the memory of juvenile Sebastian.

When you had returned to Pelican Town, he was elated; mostly because he wanted to make up all his bullying and teasing up to you. The first time he saw you, though, he recognized the dull and sullen face that you tried to keep behind a stone cold neutral expression. The way your posture was always inward, as if you were trying to hide the most vulnerable parts of yourself. He knew all too well what that was like because he was like that many years ago, though his depression was expressed with a little more fire compared to you.

Sebastian looks over his shoulder at your cowering figure, awaiting your next move. He didn’t want to decide for you, but if he did, he’d keep your mother from speaking to you. It was taking him everything not to deck her in the face at this very moment.

With a voice as quiet as a mouse, you mutter, “I-I don’t want to talk to her right now.”

Sebastian nods and looks to Sam, who had also heard your request, for him to take charge. “She doesn’t want to see you right now. Leave.” Your cousin glares through his eyebrows.

Your mom’s eyes light with rage. “Who are you to tell me I can’t see my daughter?”

This woman was really testing Sebastian’s patience. “Leave. Now.” He growls and steps in front of you to fully obscure your mother’s view of you. Your mom chooses silence as a response, but her eyes show her true emotions on the matter.  With a huff, the woman stomps down the path towards the bus stop and into town. The minute she’s out of sight, Sebastian turns around to face you, followed by Sam walking up and the two of them placing a hand on each of your shoulders. “Are you okay?” Sebastian watches you like a hawk as you nod and take deep breaths to help calm yourself down.

Sam looks over his shoulder towards the path into town where your mother disappeared, and suggests that you not stay the night at your cabin; just in case your mother tried to come down and bother you again. The two boys look to each other with concern written all over their faces.  “I would say come to my place, but that’ll be the first place she’ll check if you don’t answer the door next time she tries to see you.”

Without skipping a beat, Sebastian speaks up. “You can stay with me.” What were you doing? “It won’t be a problem, I’ve got plenty of space in my room.” Had it not been for the dire circumstances, he was sure he would’ve gotten teased by Sam about the implications of you spending the night with him—alone—and he even thought about it after he had made the offer, but it was smarter than allowing her to stay with Sam. He was probably going to get shit about it from him later once the dust settled on the situation.

Sam nods. “Good idea; she won’t think to go to your place. Let’s get a bag packed for you, Y/N, just in case you want to stay a little longer.” And the two of them guide you up the stairs of the porch to your front door. After you get your things, Sam bids you farewell to run home and tell his mom about what happened.

After he scrambles off, Sebastian looks to you. It hurt him to see you hurting like this. Though he never experienced this in particular, he knew what it was like to have the sudden appearance of a parent. How the intense emotions can mess you up inside. He wanted nothing but to make your problems magically go away, but alas, it was impossible. “Hey,” he catches your attention, “you doing okay?” He knew the answer to that, but he didn’t know how else to check on you. After you shrug, he starts to lead the way back to his home with you in tow.

The whole walk there was silent, and it was almost unnerving. Sebastian would glance back at you every once and a while to see what was going on in that brain of yours, but each time he did he was met with your far-off stare. He’d had been in your shoes before; having his whole world turned upside down in an instant, not knowing what to feel or how to go about the situation. Maybe one day he’d share it with you, but right now as he was set on getting you somewhere safe.

His mom looks up from whatever magazine she’s reading behind the counter and puts on her customer service smile. When she realizes it’s just her son, it softens and Sebastian gives a “Hey, Mom.” Robin notices you behind him and tilts her head with a raised brow. Sebastian looks back at you then to his mom. “We’ll talk later.” He grimaces but it disappears when his mother nods and turns her motherly smile to you. He wasn’t sure what all he was going to say to her, or how much of your business you wanted out in the town, but he’d come up with something vague enough to tell her.

When the two of you reach his room in the basement, he hangs his keys on a keyring next to the door and sees you crash down to the couch. While he’s tossing his winter gear to the side he hears a sigh escape your lungs and then turns around to face you. “Do you need anything? A snack? A drink?” You weakly request a glass of water and Sebastian nods, returning up the stairs to the kitchen.

As he’s coming back, Robin calls out to him. “Sebby?” He walks past the staircase and back into the carpenter’s shop with two glasses of water in his hands. “Is everything okay with Y/N?” She sits up straight on her stool, a look of worry flooding her eyes. Though you had all grown up, she was still a mom at heart.

“She… needs somewhere to stay the night.” Sebastian hates keeping his mother in the dark, but he felt it wasn’t his place to let everyone know of your situation. He loved his mom, but most of the people in Pelican Town liked to gossip since nothing much ever happened here. Word travels fast in a small town such as this. “So I offered my room.” It looked like she was going to ask further, probably why you couldn’t stay with your family, but he gave her a look of desperation that begged her not to push it further. “I know you’re worried, but I don’t think it’s my place to tell everyone Y/N’s business.”

“I understand, Sebby.” Robin cups her son’s cheek in her hand. “Let me know if she needs anything.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Sebastian leans into his mom’s hand and then picks up the waters before turning back to the staircase to his room.

Just as he descends the final step, he hears your muffled sobs from behind the door and fumbles to get inside. He tries to calm you down, and even offers to put a movie on for you, but you refuse. He resigns to working over at his computer to let you mull in your thoughts, but tries to keep an eye on you as he does.

Sebastian ends up getting no work done, with several lines of code coming back with constant errors no matter how many times he goes back to try and fix them. His brain is not in coding mode. He can’t focus on anything but your now-sleeping figure on his couch. He groans at his computer, and stands up to stretch. It was useless trying to power through this, he needed to do something that didn’t involve so much brain power. Seeing you sleeping elicits a sigh from him as he drapes the blanket resting on the backside of the couch over you. He takes your phone and sets it on the side table next to the water he brought for you, and freezes in place as he turns around.

It was crazy to him how peaceful you looked as you slept, considering the madness that you had just encountered only an hour or so ago. You still had a slight frown in your brows, but it was much more relaxed than when you were awake. I wonder: What are you dreaming about right now? He kneels down to your level, and reaches his hand out to brush some of your hair from your face. The minute a lock of your hair comes into contact with his skin, though, his hand turns rigid and refuses to move. I can’t… I shouldn’t…

Sebastian retracts his hand and fidgets with the black ring on his finger. It was a nervous tick he developed once he’d received the ring and it always crept back up whenever he got anxious. It was his father’s; his biological father, that is. The purple gemstones glinted in the light as he spun it around his finger several times. He needed to resist the temptations; he didn’t want to hurt you, if you even shared the same feelings he did for you. Every time he had indulged himself in innocent physical contact with you, he felt terrible. He felt wrong. He just didn’t want to make any mistakes.

I need a smoke… He goes to grab a box from his jacket, but remembers he never got the chance to go to Pierre’s to get any. He could go now, but he didn’t want to smoke if you were there. It wasn’t good for you, his mom, or anyone around him. He twirls the ring in his finger again and groans under his breath. He needed something to do to keep him distracted; then an idea popped into his head. He throws a spare t-shirt on that he doesn’t mind getting dirty and heads upstairs.

Before heading to his destination, the garage, he goes to the bathroom to change his contacts out for his glasses. They were starting to irritate his eyes, honestly. Once he slipped on his glasses, Sebastian swiftly makes his way to the garage, and is happy to find that everyone in the house is busy doing something else. Maru is most likely tinkering around with one of her robotics projects in her room, and Demetrius and Mom were most likely sitting out by the cliffside looking up at the stars. He had the garage all to himself.

Sebastian throws the tarp off his prized possession and starts to get his tools out. It’d been awhile since he even looked at his motorcycle, so she probably needed a tune up. Spring was coming soon which meant he needed her to be ready for many nighttime rides. Sebastian gets on his back underneath the machine, starts to work on his bike, and lets all his thoughts disappear. His only focus was on his hands and the tools that were holding them. He loved working on his bike; especially on nights like this. It kept him busy and his mind off the darker and worrisome thoughts that would pop up.

He isn’t sure how much time passes, but at some point he drops the wrench he’s holding and almost gives himself a black eye with it. It clanks to the ground. “Ah, fuck!” He curses, hoping it wasn’t loud enough for his family to hear; they knew he cursed like a sailor, especially when he got anxious or frustrated. He closes his eyes and massages the spot where the wrench hit him on his forehead, and almost misses the sound of the door leading back inside cracking open. He looks over and sees you peeking your head in with curiosity. He feels his chest grow warm at the sight of you, but tries to calm his nerves down.

“Oh, hey, Y/N.” He sits up, and realizes you probably heard him cursing just a second ago. He was worried you were going to comment on him dropping the wrench but is pleasantly surprised when you comment on his glasses. That’s right; you’d never seen him with glasses, even when you’d slept over the other night. He really only ever wore them at home or when he ran out of contacts. On those days he usually just stayed home; he was still a little embarrassed and self-conscious about wearing them. “Well I just about broke them from dropping that stupid wrench on my face.” He jokes and explains to you that he’s had them since he was 10.

“Well they look nice on you.” You mumble, and he can’t help but smile at the compliment, especially since it came from you.

Calm down, Seb. He scolds himself, but still has a giddy smile on his face. He notices your gaze on his motorcycle and feels himself get excited at your interest. “Have you ever ridden one before?” You shake your head and his heart flutters at his next words that come out a little too excitedly. “When it gets warmer I can take you for a ride; it’s pretty fun.” She looks away sheepishly and Sebastian scolds himself one more time in his mind. You’re treading dangerous waters, dude. It’s just an offer for a ride; he’s taken Sam and Abby out for a short spin before, it’s only fair that he gives you a chance too.

His thoughts are interrupted by your next words while you lean up against the door frame. “I honestly thought you’d be working on your computer at this hour.” You were trying to smile through your emotions right now, but he could notice it right away; it was a trick he did all the time.

“I was having trouble concentrating. I’ve been worried about you, you know.” Sebastian answers honestly, but finds that it makes you apologize almost instantly. “Hey, why are you apologizing?” He tries to soften his voice as he stands up. You try to say you’re causing more trouble for him and Sam. His heart sinks at the thought of you feeling like you’re a burden, and that you shouldn’t ask for help. He tries to explain to you that this is what friends do, it’s not expected, it’s just what they do for each other. Sam was also your family, and he cared so much about you; of course he wanted to help you.

His words weren’t reaching you, though so he reaches out towards you with his hands, but hesitates. Partially because they’re covered in oil and grime, but also because of him trying to not display any physical affection. He ignores this and rubs his hands on his pants before taking your hands in his. It was just another excuse for him to feel your skin on his, he knew, but it seemed to calm you in the past. With more words of reassurance, he squeezes your hands and lets a small phrase slip from his lips. “I won’t let her hurt you.” Sebastian lets his thumbs trace circles on the back of your hands, and it does in fact help calm you down.

“You can stay as long as you need. I mean that.” He reassures you, and suddenly you let go of his hands. He misses the sensation of your hands in his, but he knows that it wouldn’t last forever, as much as he wish it could. After exchanging a few more words he looks down at the mess he’s made in the garage; his tools were strewn about the floor and he needed to put some pieces back in the engine. “I… gotta clean this up. You should head to bed.”

“I honestly can’t sleep right now.”

Duh, she just slept for several hours, you idiot. He mentally kicks himself. “Right.” An idea pops into his head, and he suggests to go on a midnight walk, just like you used to back in the Fall. The two of you agree and he tries his best to clean up as quickly as possible. He was looking forward to spending more time with you. When the two of you are geared up for your walk, you both head out and you suggest going to the beach.

The walk was silent, and he wondered what you were thinking about the whole way there. You had that same far-off stare the entire walk. When you had reached the beach, and subsequently the dock, you stared out to the horizon for a moment before noticing that Sebastian was patting the space next to him as an invitation for you to join him. He watches you from his peripheral as you sway your legs childishly. How cute. He exhales through his nose amusedly. 

He’s shocked by your next out of the blue question. “Sebastian, I haven’t seen you smoke in a long time.” He feels like he just got caught doing something he shouldn’t be, and sighs out.

“I’ve been trying not to smoke around you and the others. It’s not good for you.” He remembers the feeling of withdrawal from earlier and feels that his foot is twitching while he swings his legs.

“What about you, though?”

Damn you and your worrisome nature. He smiles, but struggles to hide the sadness in your concern for him. Your issues were more important at the moment and here you were: worrying about his nicotine addiction. “Don’t worry about me. I’m more worried about you. It was probably pretty triggering to see your mom like that today.” And probably triggering to bring it up, you idiot. His brain yells out to him but he ignores it.

And then you start to word vomit out everything you’re feeling. It breaks his heart. He too knows what it’s like to feel like you’re unwanted; that your parent wants nothing to do with you. It hurt him even more that you were still desperately seeking your mother’s love and attention even though she had treated you like absolute shit your entire life. He remembers that you had mentioned at one point that she straight up said she never wanted to have you. He never experienced that, and could only imagine what that did to you, but he didn’t want you to keep trying to attain the unattainable. “I hate that you have to go through this bull shit.” He grumbles and wipes the tears from your face with his mitten.

He nearly lets out a yelp when your arms wrap tightly around him and he tenses up for just a second. You trusted him, and yet he felt like he was taking advantage of your hardship. He loved it when you hugged him. He loved it when you vented your frustrations to him. He loved being there for you. But every single time you came to him he felt more and more guilty, and afraid of becoming the very thing he’s been trying to avoid with any relationship he’s had. He’d never cared enough about any other girl in the past to go out of his way to not hurt them like he did with you. He actively tried to keep his affections in check, but you made it so hard and it made him feel warm inside. Even now he was relenting. Sebastian’s arms seamlessly slip around your waist and he pulls you in closer for a tighter hug. “I know you’re hoping for her love, but… just know that even if she doesn’t end up being the person you want her to be, you still have many people here that love and care about you.” Like me…

The two of you sit there for Yoba knows how long, and he runs his hands through your hair. You shouldn’t be doing this. He still has his mittens on so it’s a little awkward, but it seems to help you calm back down. It’s okay if he only does it to help you out, right? Right? When you pull yourself away from him you apologize. Sebastian stuffs his hands back into his pockets while telling you to not be sorry.

The waves gently crash against the dock posts and he can tell you’re deep in thought. You break the silence once again with a mumble. “Thank you.”

He smiles, feeling warm at that. “You’re welcome, my little farmer.” And he quickly avoids your gaze after the words leave his mouth. This wasn’t good. He kept excusing the physical affection to just helping you out, helping calm you down from your anxieties; but there was no way he could justify his little pet name for you, and the way he claimed you as his Farmer. He needed to keep his distance. He didn’t want to ruin his friendship with you, though, honestly, it might already be too late. He had to keep denying his feelings. He couldn’t be the reason you were hurt.

Tension builds up between you two as he tries to come up with something to say. He was starting to get angry at himself, he could feel it. It’s time to go. He stands up and claims that the two of you should head back. When you take his hand to help you up he continues to avoid your eyes and can feel his cheeks are beet red. He hopes the darkness of the night will help hide it, but the moon was bright that night, so he was sure you’d notice. “Let’s go.” He grips your hand firmly as you move your hand from his. What are you doing? He knows his pace is fast and that he’s pretty much dragging you all the way back, but he doesn’t know what to do. He wants to keep a hold onto you, but he knows he shouldn’t. He doesn’t want to give you the wrong idea. Is this really that wrong? Another part of his brain indulges in his desires and he shakes the thoughts away.

In record time you both make it back to his house and get ready for bed. He should sleep, but honestly after the turbulence of confusing emotions he has going on in his brain he won’t be able to sleep for a bit. “Night.” He mumbles curtly and sits behind his computer, pulling up the code he was working on earlier.

The sounds of you settling in for the night cause him to look over his monitor briefly before glancing back at his work. “Nope; you can use my bed.”

“Sebastian—”

“You’re not sleeping on the couch.” He glares at you, annoyed that you won’t let him help you. He wasn’t necessarily mad at you, but his anxiety from his slip up earlier was definitely causing it to manifest as anger and irritation. He always told Sam to use his bed when they had their sleepovers; he felt weird making his guest sleep on the couch.

“Yes I am.” He grumbles while you totally ignore his request. Any other time he’d think your stubbornness was cute, but his emotions were off the charts right now.

Sebastian returns his attention to his work. Unlike earlier, he seems to be able to focus a little more on what he’s working on and fixes the errors he was previously getting. He’s not sure how long he sits there, but he eventually puts a pin in it and stands up to stretch. Your soft snores can be heard from where he stands and he shakes his head. You were almost as stubborn as him. Sebastian sleepily walks over to the couch, removes the blanket from your body, and picks you up bridal style as slowly and gently as he can so he doesn’t wake you up. When he reaches his bed he lowers you back down with equal care and pulls the covers over your sleeping form. It takes only a few minutes or so to get the pull-out couch set and plug your phone in to an extra charger, before he heads for the light switch by his door. His hand hovers over the switch and he looks over his shoulder to you.

Sebastian had wanted to help you, to support you, but his fear of making his parents’ mistakes were keeping him from even entertaining the fact of making his relationship with you any more intimate than a friendship. It had been keeping him from forming any meaningful relationships besides the two—now three, with you here—friends he had in Pelican Town. The fear of failure had gripped him his whole life, and but he hadn’t cared much about how it affected the few partners he had in the past. But he cared too much about you, which is why he knew he needed to stop with his self-indulgent habits. He couldn’t bear the possibility of being the cause of your pain simply because he was afraid of following in his parents’ footsteps. It was better if he backed off.

With these final thoughts, Sebastian sighs and flips the switch off for the night.

Chapter Text

You end up staying at Sebastian’s for a couple days. Under any other circumstance, you’d be bashful and blushing the whole time, hoping that either of you would try and make a move on the other. But even after your odd late night stroll with him you were too worried about your mother to be thinking about your silly little crush. It really did seem silly when you thought about the grave mood of your mother being in town. You’d stayed inside Sebastian’s room most of the time, only ever coming up to go to the bathroom or to get a snack or drink from the kitchen. After that night, it always seemed like Sebastian had something important to say to you but each time would just ask something mundane like if you needed any snacks, drinks, or what have you. It was strange, to say the least, but, again, you were more worried about your mother more than anything.

Sam had let you know that your mom did in fact come looking for you at his place. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Mom so mad in my entire life; and I’ve gotten scolded plenty of times from her.” He chuckles under his breath and looks across the table to you. You had made the decision to go back home. Sebastian was more than welcoming, for sure, but you felt like you were abusing his kindness. You had also come to an important decision.

“I think… I’m going to talk to her.” You manage to get out, and Sam’s eyes widen ever so slightly. He says nothing at first, contemplating what his next words are going to be.

“If… that’s what you want. I can be there too, if you’d like.” He offers and you nod. You remember the fortune teller’s words from last month…

“…in your past you had conflict within your family… you might need to reconcile or let go in order to help quell your inner turmoil.”

You needed to be brave. You needed to not let your fear hold you back from a happy life. You needed to move on. These thoughts race in your head, but you reel yourself back to the present and smile softly at your cousin. “I think I would like that.”

“Do you want Seb to come too, or…?” He sounds hesitant, unsure of whether or not to even bring up the matter. When you don’t immediately answer, he rubs the back of his neck nervously. “Well, I know you two are also pretty close and it might be nice to have another friend there to support you if you need it.”

“Yeah, I want him there with us.”

“Cool, do you want me to ask him?” Sam goes to grab his phone but you speak up before he can.

“I’ll do it.” You pull out your phone from your pocket to shoot him a message.

You 12:24 PM

Hey can I ask a favor?

Sebastian 12:26 PM

Of course. What’s up?

You 12:26 PM

I’m going to try and talk to my mom.

Could you come with? Sam will be there too.

Sebastian 12:27 PM

I’ll be there. :)

You start to make the plans with the two of them and set the day for tomorrow; on the eve of the Feast of the Winter Star. You had been so worried about your mother that you had nearly forgotten it was coming up soon. Time passes fast when you’re on edge all the time.

The next day comes, and you are sitting in your cabin bouncing your leg rapidly while you wait for the boys to arrive. You’d been waiting anxiously for what seemed like hours and was both eager and nervous to confront your mother. Sam had told you that she had agreed to meet with you at the Star Drop Saloon around lunch time. It had been several years since the two of you spoke. Despite you completely cutting her off there was a sliver of hope you held onto; you wanted so badly to have a relationship with your mother. You wanted to get her help so that you could love one another like a mother and daughter should. You were honestly envious of Sam and Sebastian, since they had such good relationships with their own mothers. It seemed most people you met had that opportunity, and it was stripped from you from a very young age.

Knock! knock!

You jump up and hurry to answer the door. Both Sam and Sebastian are standing out in the snow, and their heads whip towards the sound of your front door opening.

“Bee!”

“Farmer.”

They greet you simultaneously with their preferred nicknames for you. You let them in before you bundle up for the trek to the saloon. The walk is quick and when you get to the doorstep of the saloon your hand freezes over the door handle. Whatever happened next would determine your future, or lack of one, with your mother. On the surface, you wanted nothing to do with her; she had caused you so much turmoil even after you had cut contact with her. The everlasting effects of her words still bothered you to this day and was the main reason for why you were in Pelican Town in the first place. She didn’t want you then. She said it herself so many times to you while you were growing up. But deep down, your inner child was crying out for your mother’s love. Deep down in your heart there was a little girl who just wanted her mother’s attention and affections. To be doted on. You wanted to be loved by her.

“Hey,” Sebastian’s gentle voice wakes you from your trance, “you don’t have to do this.”

Yes I do… You think to yourself with determination and shake your head to clear out those other thoughts. “I’m ready.” Your hand grasps the doorknob and you let yourself inside.

And just as quickly as you entered, all your hopes had disappeared. Your mother already had a drink in her hands and you could tell by her body language that she had been drinking. It was always the same; nothing was ever going to change. You wanted to turn around and leave, but the fortune teller’s words rang in your ear. You needed to let go, not run away. The boys didn’t seem to notice her inebriated state, but you trekked on and stopped a few feet from her at the bar. “Mother,” your voice feigns confidence. You could spot if she was drunk from a mile away. It was a pattern you had grown acute to.

She turns to you with a slurred smile and sets her glass down. She opens her mouth to greet you, but is met with a belch that escapes her mouth. “Y/N! Sweetie! I was wondering when you’d be coming.” She tries to stand up but you place a firm hand on her shoulder to keep her seated; the last thing you needed was her stumbling and splitting her head open. Slowly she notices your hopeless, downturned eyes. “I just had a few drinks, that’s all. I swear!” Your shoulders slump down and you take a deep breath.

“I was really hoping to work things out with you, Mom, but I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”

You take a small step back to leave the saloon, but you’re stopped in your tracks. “You sound just like your father,” Her tone had shifted. Though she was still obviously drunk, it sounded like she was sneering at you. Goading you. “He would always nag me, and it seems it rubbed off on you too.”

Your fists tightened at your sides while you avoided her eyes. Breathe in… and out… you repeated in your head several times.

“I always knew you were a mistake. You were just a smaller version of him growing up.”

“Shut up.” You hear Sebastian and Sam shift their posture at your sudden growl at her. Even Gus is eyeing the scene from the other end of the counter as he cleans a glass with a rag.

“He insisted I needed help, but he was the one who needed it; you two were so alike in that way.”

“Stop it.”

“Look where it got him; sick in the head and dead. By his own hands, too.”

“I said SHUT UP!” You feel your knees grow weak and angry tears start to roll down your cheeks. “You don’t know what you’re talking about! You know what? I’m done with you!”

Sebastian seems frozen in place, his hands shaking as he restrains himself from exploding with shouts. Sam steps forward and pulls you away and towards the front doors. “Let’s go, she’s going to keep sputtering out nonsense.” And he forces you out the door, Sebastian following closely behind. “I hope you’re happy.” Your cousin glares at your mother, and she still has a drunken smile splayed across her face.

The boys guide you to Sam’s house, since it’s the closest, and burst through the doors. Vincent is sitting in the living room on his mother’s lap reading a book aloud to her. The sudden noise of the front door startles them and when Jodi sees the state you’re in she immediately sets Vincent to the side and rushes towards you.

You’re not sure what anyone is saying; everything around you sounds muffled and far away. The stream of tears roll down your face and doesn’t seem to be showing any signs of stopping. Mom was never going to change, no matter what you tried to do to help her. She couldn’t even handle a meeting with you without being drunk. She was never going to accept your love or your help. She didn’t have to bring up Dad; you were still mourning his loss even three seasons later. You weren’t sure if it would ever get easier. The two of you were very close, after all.

What did I expect? Why did I even try? Why doesn’t she want me?

Variations of these questions repeat in your mind over and over again. You feel the void of your heart consuming your body as you curl up in what is probably Sam’s bed. Faint voices can be heard in the background calling out to you, but your inner voice is swarming your mind and overpowering the world around you. The roar of your intruding thoughts flood your senses and you feel like your heart is about to give out, until you sense a hand firmly grasping yours. Small gentle circles are being drawn on the back of your hand, a sensation you were familiar with from just a couple days earlier.

“Y/N.” Sebastian’s voice rings through the cacophony of noise flooding your head, and you start to slowly come back to reality. The tears stopped awhile ago—you can feel the dried remnants on your cheeks, but your breathing is still ragged. “Hey,” he continues to rub his thumb on the back of your hand, “I need to you breathe with me.” He starts to walk you through a breathing exercise and eventually gets you back to a calmer state. He brushes some of your hair from your face and lets out a startled yelp as you wrap your arms around him in a tight embrace. You hide your face from him in his trademark black hoodie.

This boy had seen you cry so many times.

It was embarrassing, honestly, and you didn’t want him to see your face like this. It probably wasn’t a pretty sight. Even now, in one of the most stressful and heartbreaking times of your life, you were worried about how he saw you, and it wasn’t something you were concerned with until you realized your feelings for him. Despite the emotional rollercoaster you were riding on, he was there to comfort you. He had always been there for you since you had returned to Pelican Town.

“Hey, I’m right here.” He speaks softly and returns your embrace with an equally delicate touch.

You focus on your senses to help ground you; the sound of the space heater in Sam’s bedroom whirring in the background, the feeling of Sebastian’s cotton hoodie under your fingers, the taste of your chapstick on your lips, and the mixture of pine and cigarette smoke emanating from Sebastian. The cigarette smoke lingering on his clothes was both revolting and calming; as you had never been a fan of the smell but whenever you smelled it, it reminded you of him. He was always able to calm you down. To bring you peace in the war that was your mind.

“Why did it turn out like this?” You mumble into his chest and you hear a sigh escape his lungs.

“Unfortunately, some people aren’t deserving of your love and effort. Even your own family.” Sebastian’s chest rumbles as he speaks softly, almost at a whisper, and he hesitantly strokes your hair. “Jodi said it’s probably best if you stay the night here.” Sebastian mutters once he feels your body finally relax again. As much as you wanted to be with your family right now, the thought of your mother banging on the door at any point between now and whenever she leaves filled you with terror.

You furiously shake your head, still burying it deep in his chest. “I don’t want to risk seeing Mom again. Can… Can I stay with you one more night?” Sebastian’s grip on you suddenly grows tighter the second you suggest staying the night with him.

“I don’t necessarily mind, but… I really think you should stay with your family. Tomorrow’s the Feast of the Winter Star, after all.” His body stiffens up and he awkwardly pulls away from your embrace. In a matter of a couple seconds he hass already created a generous amount of space between the two of you and is rapidly tapping his foot on the ground. “I’m sorry, Farmer, but I really need a smoke real quick; I haven’t had a chance for one since this morning. I’ll be right back.” He excuses himself and practically bolts out the door, leaving you alone on Sam’s bed.

That was… weird. You think to yourself. One minute he was okay with being physically close to one another, and the next it seemed like he wanted to be nowhere near you. You weren’t alone for long, though, because your cousin enters the room, and it’s not the one you were expecting.

“Y/N?” The young boy’s voice squeaks from the bedroom door and you look up to see Vincent hiding behind the door which is barely cracked open. “Can I come in? Mama told me to ask.”

“Of course, Vince.” You can’t help but smile at his cute voice, and he trots into the room, clambering up to sit next to you on the bed. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to ask if we could watch a movie together.” You stare into his eyes, and place your hand on his cheek full of affection. You never had any siblings—you were an only child—but you had grown to love your younger cousin as if he were your own younger brother. Sebastian was right; you needed to be with your family tonight.

You exhale and force a smile for him. “Of course, buddy. Let’s go pick one out to watch.”

Vincent quickly picks out a children’s holiday movie from the bookshelf of movies and gives it to you to get it set up. After settling in on the couch, you kindly ask Vince to turn off the lights and he rushes across the living room to hit the switch. When he returns he practically tackles you with an innocent giggle and you pull a blanket over the two of you.

About 10 minutes into the movie, your other cousin and Sebastian walk in from the kitchen. Sam smirks while you pause the movie. “I see Vincent has convinced you to watch one of his favorite movies with him. Room for two more?”

You glance at Vince with an equally mischievous look. “I don’t know. Vince, should we let them in on this awesome movie?”

Vince’s laugh does wonders on your mood and almost makes you forget everything that happened today. “I guess they can sit with us.” He nods at his older brother. The young boy can barely contain his giggles and you look back to the boys.

“The boss says it’s okay.” You nod.

Sam tumbles on the couch next to the young boy and pulls the large blanket over his legs. Sebastian stands a little awkwardly to the side, about to take a seat on the extra couch, but Sam calls out to his younger brother. “Vince, move over so your cousin can make room for Seb.” You all scoot to the side to make room for him, and he flashes Sam a wide-eyed glare before settling down next to you.

Had you not been so tired, you would’ve been anxious sitting so closely next to Sebastian. Every now and then he nudges your knee with his when it seems like you’re spacing out. There were several times you had to restrain yourself from reaching out for his hand, hoping to feel it in yours once more. You had calmed down from the fiasco with your mother—for now—but you still wanted to feel the warmth of his skin on yours.

Throughout the movie Sebastian crosses his legs and bounces it as he leans away from you on the arm of the couch. You weren’t sure what was on his mind, but you would bump his knee and he’d give you a raised brow and a smirk. “Hey, that’s my job.” He whispers and you let out an amused exhale from your nose before turning back to the screen.

Vincent runs and puts another movie on, and you start to feel your eyes get droopy. About 20 minutes into the movie your head slumps to the side into Sebastian, who’s put his arm along the back of the couch behind you. One by one the rest of them nod off and the movie finishes off with everyone asleep: you snuggled close to Sebastian and Vincent cuddled close with his brother. Sometime in the night, Aunt Jodi comes in to turn the TV off and shakes Sam awake. He wakes with a stir, and sleepily gazes towards his mother.

“I’ll tuck Vince in his room, take your cousin to your room.” She moves to pick up her son, but Sam shakes his head.

“Don’t worry, Mom, I’ll get him. You go to sleep.” She places a gentle kiss goodnight on his forehead, then on Vince’s and yours before making her way back to her bedroom. Sam hoists Vince up and carefully moves to wake Sebastian. “Hey, wake up, man.” He tries his best not to wake you and Vince in his arms while doing so, and somehow manages to succeed. Sebastian’s dark eyes flutter open and he looks confused for a moment at the sight of his best friend, then realizes there’s a weight on his side. At the sight of you leaning up against him his face nearly instantly changes to one of panic and Sam rolls his eyes. “C’mon dude, we already talked about this; she likes you. What’s wrong with that?”

“Me. I’m the problem.” He grumbles.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about. Go; take her to my room. She can use my bed.”

“Sam—”

“Night, Seb.” He winks and walks off towards Vincent’s room to tuck him in.

Sebastian groans, but gently moves off the couch to pick you up. It’s a little tricky, but he manages to do so without dropping you. He hears you mumble sleepily as you wrap your arms around his neck and lean into his chest. After setting you down gently onto Sam’s bed and pulling the covers over you, his hand lingers over your blissful face as he debates on brushing your hair from your face, but he shakes his head and lets out the most pathetic of sighs. “Goodnight, Y/N.” His eyes are filled with pain at his restraint, but he turns and heads out the back door to return to his own home for the night.

Chapter Text

“Whoah, Bug! Wait a second, I need to get the camera before you start tearing into these presents!” Your dad’s voice is lighthearted as he hurries back to his room to grab said camera. You wait impatiently with the gift labeled “To: Y/N, From: Santa” in your hands, obeying your father’s request to hold off on tearing off the wrapping paper. “Okay, now you can open it.”

You open a couple presents before your dad pulls out a gift hidden behind the couch. You toss aside the tissue paper from the bag and pull out an adorable and squishy bumblebee plushy. You give it a big hug and your dad chuckles. “Your Aunt Jodi had told me about that bee that you tried to hold in your hands and I know how much you like them.” You jump up and run to tackle your father with a snug embrace.

“I love it.”

The next morning you wake up in Sam’s bed and Jodi had set out gifts under the artificial tree in the living room. Vincent was ecstatic that Santa had visited and had rushed into Sam’s room to wake you up.

“Y/N! Y/N! Get up! Santa left gifts for us!” You grumble something incoherent as your eyes flutter open. He drags you out of bed to the living room, and searches the pile of wrapped presents for one with your name on it. “Here! This one’s yours!” You sit down on the couch next to Sam, who is also still in the process of waking up. Jodi enters the room holding a tray with four mugs full of hot cocoa with a smile on her face.

You watch Vincent run around handing out the few presents to everyone before he tears his open. Once it’s your turn to open yours, you look over to your aunt and she gives another encouraging smile. You tear the wrapping paper off and open the box to find a wide brim straw hat sitting inside. “I thought it’d be fitting of our new farmer to have a hat for the job.” You thank her, set the hat to the side, and continue to watch Vince and Sam open up their gifts. Vincent received a couple toys that had obviously been on his wishlist, based on his energized reactions. Sam had gotten a guitar pedal, which must’ve been pretty pricey since his eyes widened and the first thing he exclaimed about it was its value.—“Mom, you really shouldn’t have!”

After some coaxing from your family, you agree to partake in the festivities of the Feast of the Winter Star. The four of you bundle up and head out to the plaza which has been decked out with large candy cane decorations, garlands draped across fence posts, and a giant pine tree adorned with ornaments glittering in the sun. Many of the townspeople are sitting at the tables dishing out turkey, potatoes, and other various festive foods into their mouths. As you and your family approach the tables, you feel practically everyone’s eyes on you.

Unfortunately for you, news travels fast in a small town, and you were sure that most of them had heard about what had happened between you and your mom. The longer you felt their eyes on you, the more you wanted to turn back around and hide back at the house. Your eyes scanned the crowd to see if she had stuck around, but she was most likely passed out wherever she was staying the night. You still had no idea where she was staying or who had tipped her off about you living here.  Hopefully she was gone for good.

As your eyes move across the scene in front of you, you notice Sebastian sitting with his mom, sister, and step-father, Demetrius. The closer you got to them, the more you could catch on to Sebastian’s sour expression. He’s leaning on his hand with his elbow on the table, looking both bored and intensely annoyed. It seems like Demetrius is scolding him as he rolls his eyes, sighing loud enough for anyone within several feet of the table to hear. You don’t catch what they’re arguing about, because when Sebastian sees you he sits up straighter and his gaze softens. “Farmer!” He totally ignores Demetrius and greets you with a small wave. Whatever his step-father was complaining about, he cuts short and gives a polite nod of acknowledgement to you and your family.

“Ah, hello, Jodi. Would you all like to join us? We just started eating.” And the four of you happily join the Carlsons in some small talk. You, Sam, and Sebastian avoid the conversation with the other adults and chat with one another. Well, it was more like you and Sam were doing most of the talking, and Sebastian was doing his best not to bring down the mood.

The small talk gets boring quick, and you’re getting restless in your seat. “I’m going to take a walk.” You explain simply, stand from your chair, and turn to start said walk.

“Seb?” Sam calls out.

“What?”

Sam nods towards you and Sebastian still looks confused. “You know! The gift?” He whispers the last part.

“Right!” Sebastian abandons Sam and quickly catches up to you. “Oh! Farmer, I, uh, actually have something for you.” He gestures towards the large pine tree in the center of the plaza, and you follow him. “I could’ve given it to you back there, but it’s kind of tradition to do it in front of the tree.” He chuckles nervously and fishes around in his pocket for your gift. You had totally forgotten about the gift exchange. You had been assigned to give Sebastian a gift (you were sure Leah or Sam had convinced Mayor Lewis to “randomly” pair you up), but with everything that’s happened this month you’d totally forgotten. Guilt started to settle in your gut and you rub your arms anxiously. “Normally I don’t care about tradition, but, if I’m going to do this, I might as well do it right.” He finally pulls out a small necklace and holds it up for you to see. The pendant is an onyx crystal, black as night, hanging on a black cord.

“I love it..” You take the necklace from him and admire the cut of the stone and how it shines in the light. “Sebastian… I didn’t get you anything, I’m sorry.” You admit and he shrugs.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you’re here.” Sebastian’s face suddenly tenses up and he quickly moves on with the conversation. “Here, I’ll, uh, help you put it on.” He takes the necklace back from you and moves behind you to drape the necklace around your neck. While he’s fumbling with the clasp of the necklace, you look up to the table where your families are sitting and see Sam looking on with a mischievous smile. He catches your gaze and gives you a thumbs up. You return the gesture with a confused What? look that he ignores and averts his attention to his little brother. Sebastian steps back to your side and rocks back and forth on his heels. “I’m feeling kinda shitty right now, mind if I join you on your walk?” You nod, thinking about the argument you walked into when you arrived to the feast.

As you walk off towards Pierre’s shop, you debate in your head whether or not you should ask him about it. You knew that he and Demetrius didn’t get along; he vented to you about it all the time. From what you gathered, Demetrius was pretty insensitive when it came to his social anxiety. He would always get on his case when Sebastian seemed to show any sign of annoyance or discomfort, also nagging him for not doing “real” work, and trying to get him to “do something with his life”. While you walked side by side in silence, you notice that his brows are furrowed into a slight frown and the muscles in his shoulders tense. “Hey,” Sebastian glances down at you, “you okay?”

He stops in his tracks, points his head to the sky with his eyes closed, and takes a deep breath. “No, not really. Demetrius was getting on my ass about my ‘bitter attitude’ even though he knows how much I hate being around the crowds at these festivals. I was trying real hard not to blow up on him, but right before you guys showed up I got real mad and he was ripping into me.”

His voice started to rise in volume and had an edge to it that you had really only heard heard a couple times before since he was always calm and gentle with you; once when he had heard what Abby had said to you that one night at the saloon, and the second time when your mother had shown up on your doorstep. “He keeps trying to act like my dad when he’s not. And of course mom doesn’t do shit to stand up for me unless Demetrius says something absolutely ridiculous.” He grits his teeth and kicks up some snow in frustration. This brings your stroll to a halt as he tries to steady his breathing again. “I’m sorry, Farmer…” His voice softens. Sebastian’s fists unclench and he fidgets with the black ring on his finger. He hesitates on what he’s about to say next, glancing to you one more time. “I just get so… mad and it’s really hard for me to control it sometimes.”

“I mean, from what you’re telling me it’s understandable.” You flash a sympathetic smile, and he continues your walk once more. “I know how much Demetrius seems to pick on you.”

“And he expects Maru to be perfect all the time. Nothing, and no one, will get in the way of his vision for her future. He constantly says I’m a bad influence for her—to her face too. Why does he insist on turning my own sister against me?” He starts to ramble more and you see his body tense up again.

“Sebastian…” You go to reach out to place a hand on his shoulder, but you freeze and set it back to your side.

He looks back at you once more and his face immediately softens at the sight of you. “Ugh, I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m ruining your walk right now.”

“Don’t worry about it, really. I’d rather be hanging out with you than dissociating back there.” You nod your head to gesture back towards the plaza.

A soft chuckle escapes his lips and he nods. “Ditto. I know I’ve been trying not to smoke around you and the others, but, um, do you mind if we stop for a smoke break? Talking about Demetrius is stressing me out.” The two of you had circled your way around the saloon and to the south end of the plaza, and Sebastian leads the way to a specific spot under a tree. You guessed that it was probably his go-to spot. After he lights a cigarette he takes a long drag and exhales a large puff of smoke. You lean against the tree next to him and let out the loudest of sighs. “Gold piece for your thoughts?” You can’t help but chuckle at his comment.

“This is my first Winter Star holiday without my dad.”

“I’m sorry. I… know that’s rough for anyone to go through.”

And just like that you felt the tears building up in your eyes. You did your best to keep it in, and unlike most times, it worked. “I used to spend every Winter Star with him. We’d bake cookies, make hot cocoa together, and spend the whole evening watching movies; even if they weren’t holiday movies.” You smile at the many memories of your dad that flood your brain.

One year, when you were about 10 he ordered you a Dream House for your dolls and it got delivered in a large box labeled with its contents. You found it on the doorstep of the apartment after he picked you up from school, and the second you saw it you were squealing with excitement. He tried to convince you that it was a mistake, but you knew it was for you; you’d been begging for one for nearly the whole year. You start to think about the good times you’d had so far today, and felt… guilty? Like you didn’t deserve to have a good time while feeling down like this. You should feel like sleeping the day away like you normally did. You shouldn’t feel so elated to spend time with Sam, Vincent, Aunt Jodi, and especially Sebastian.

“Y/N?” Sebastian has his cigarette in his hand at his side and looking at you with concern.

“Sorry, I just spaced out.” Your hand reaches for the onyx crystal around you neck and your fingers fidget with it. Sebastian was always able to pull you out of your trances, and you felt even better now that you had this new necklace he got you. Feeling it between your fingers helped ground you and give you something to focus on.

You turn your attention back towards the gaggle of the townspeople celebrating with one another and see Jodi chatting with Granny Evelyn with a concerned frown on her face. Evelyn looks apologetic, and seems to be apologizing as you watch the scene play out. Jodi nods and tries to smile encouragingly towards her. Curious; you hadn’t realized those two were close.

Suddenly you feel your phone buzz in you pocket and you see Sam’s name pop up on the screen.

Sam 3:27 PM
Look up.

The ominous message left you perplexed and you humored the message to glance up above you. Then you swiftly look back towards the tables where Sam is seated with Vince in his lap. He completely ignores you despite the fact he had just sent that text to you. “Everything okay?” Sebastian follows where your gaze was previously before and chokes on his cigarette at the sight that you came across. Above your heads, tied to a branch in an oddly specific spot, is a bundle of mistletoe.

Sebastian recovers from his coughing fit and starts to mumble a couple curses in which you hear Sam’s name a couple times. “Uh, you don’t have to… you know.” He avoids your eyes and takes a long drag from his cigarette and exhales the cloud of smoke away from you. “You know Sam; he’s a silly guy.” You nod in agreement, but can’t help but glance over at Sebastian while he was looking away. His cheeks were beet red and the blush spread all the way to the tips of his ears, and his posture was more inward; much like when he got nervous from the crowds at the various festivals.

You’d be lying if you said weren’t tempted to use this opportunity for your own selfish reasons. It was very tempting, but: 1) He seemed very adverse to the idea and 2) You wanted it to be genuine, not forced. “Sam better watch his back, he’s got two people seeking revenge.” You make an attempt to lighten the mood and Sebastian’s smile returns.

“We’ll think of a way to exact our revenge.” He laughs along with you and you sense that he’s relaxed quite a bit.

He finishes up his cigarette and you part ways to hang out with Leah for a bit. The two of you chat about mundane topics until she brings up a certain someone. “So, how are things going with You-Know-Who?” Her eyebrows wiggle and you groan at her teasing.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about; nothing is going on between us.”

“Girl, he’s into you. How do you not see it?” Leah rolls her eyes so far you’re surprised they’re not spinning like a slot machine in her eye sockets right now. Obvious? If it were obvious you would’ve made a move by now; or he would have.

“If he did, I’m sure I would’ve noticed.” But your voice was full of doubt. You hadn’t ever been the object of another’s affections, and even if you were, you don’t know the signs. Leah obviously did though, according to her.

“Y/N!” She groans. “I just watched the two of you get all embarrassed because of some mistletoe.”

“Anyone would be embarrassed by that.”

“Okay, you weren’t watching him when he gave you your gift. I was, and he was giving you ‘the look.’”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Your face melts into a pout as you listen to her evidence.

“That boy doesn’t look at anyone else like that, I can tell. He probably wanted to kiss you back there, but was too scared to ask. He seems like a pretty nervous dude.”

“Leah, I… I don’t know.”

She rolls her eyes one more time and flips her pleated ginger hair behind her. “Well, does he do anything just for you?” Your mind thinks to all the times he’d pull you aside for a “smoke break” just to make sure you don’t feel too overwhelmed, even though he probably feels that way 24/7.

“Does he ever seek out physical contact? Yes, hugs count.” She adds. You remember the Spirit’s Eve maze when he asked to hold onto you while you trekked through it together. The time he held your hands to help comfort you after the deal with your mother. Nudging you with his knee whenever you would zone out while hanging out with the group.

“Is he always paying attention to your needs?” Yes. He was always perceptive to your needs. Even more so than your own family at times.

“I think you have your answer, girlie.” Leah rests her head in her hand propped up on the table. Maybe… she was right? The more you thought about it, the more you realized that the way Sebastian treated you was much different than he treated most people. He always said he hated going to these festivals, but he persisted, and always sought your company. He was always there for you, and always tried to make sure you felt wanted. “So… you gonna make a move?” The thought filled you with dread. Even if you had almost definitive proof, you were still terrified of the slight chance that there was nothing there. You could easily just leave things the way they were; that way you didn’t lose the friendship you already had.

“Y/N…” Leah’s voice brings you back to the present and you turn to face her.

“I… I don’t know…”

She suddenly takes your hands in hers with a slight encouraging squeeze. “If it were easy, we would all have what we want in life, Y/N. But sometimes the things worth having require a ton of work and courage.”

You take a deep breath and nod your head. “You’re right… I’ll try…”

“No, you will. Ask him to walk you home; I’m sure he’ll say yes.”

And you do.

Shortly after that conversation you excuse yourself and shoot him a text.

You  4:07 PM
I think I’m going to head out.

Do you want to walk home together?

Before you can chicken out you push send, immediately shut your eyes, and await his response.

Sebastian 4:07 PM
You know me; I’ll take any excuse to leave. >:)

You let him know you’re going to grab your things from Jodi’s house, but before you do you say your goodbyes to them. Sam stands up. “Do you want me to walk you back?”

“Oh, I already asked Sebastian.” You realize that was the incorrect thing to say because that mischievous smile of his slowly appears on his face. “I hate you.” You quickly turn and start speeding off to his house.

“I didn’t even say anything!”

You find Sebastian is leaning against the house with his hands in his pockets once you exit Sam’s house with the box containing your new hat and upon hearing the door he stands up rigidly. “Ready to go?” You nod silently in response and the two of you walk down the path towards the woods. Your walk is calm and silent, and but you know that silence between the two of you is rarely a bad thing. It’s one of the things you appreciated with him; that you could revel in the absence of conversation and neither of you felt the obligation to fill it with nonsense. Soon you reach the south entrance of the farm and walk your way through the trees up to the front steps of your cabin.

You unlock the door and your hand hovers over the doorknob as you turn back to face Sebastian. “Everything okay?” He tilts his head and you give a tight-lipped smile. You knew if you didn’t make a move Leah would keep nagging you about it. You needed to be brave. You needed to let him know how you felt.

“I know I say it a lot but; thank you. For everything.” You take a step closer to him, move up on your tippy toes, and give him a quick peck on the cheek. “I’ll see you later, Sebastian.” You make a quick escape and practically sprint inside. Shutting the door behind you before Sebastian could even react to the quick kiss on his cheek, you lean up against it and take several deep breaths to help calm yourself.

Though you can’t see it, on the other side of the door Sebastian is still standing in the same spot with his fingers hovering over the spot your lips met his skin. Initially, he’s ecstatic. It’s something he’s thought about a lot since he started to get close to you again. Then he’s flooded with dread. This is not good. He thinks. His plan of keeping you at a distance was already failing, despite him trying his best not to escalate your relationship. It would be even harder to keep this plan up if you tried to get closer. There was no way of avoiding breaking your heart after this. Slowly he plops his feet on his way down the stairs of your porch and makes his way to the north entrance of the farm. His hand is still touching the small space of skin where your lips brushed his cheek, replaying the quick gesture over in his head. Joy and fear swirled in his stomach, and he picked up his pace so he could go back and hide in his room.

Chapter Text

And just like that; it was spring. The snow had started to melt away, revealing budding plants and new life underneath it. The chirping of the birds let you know that it was time to get up and get to work. 6:00 AM read the old fashioned alarm clock on your nightstand. It had been a long time since you’d woken up this early, and it showed. You stretched your arms over your head and release a loud yawn before begrudgingly getting out of bed. Though you seemed to be dreading all the work you had to do, you were honestly pretty excited. 

You didn’t have any seeds or bulbs yet and needed to make a run to Pierre’s, but you decided to get ahead of work and start preparing the soil for the flowers you planned on planting. After a meek breakfast of a bowl of cereal, you put on the straw hat Aunt Jodi gifted you, find the farming tools in the closet by the front door, and set out to the plot of land in front of your cabin. There was enough space for you to plant several rows of flowers; evidence of the hard work of clearing out the maple and pine trees the previous season.

Wiping some sweat from your forehead, you lean against the hoe and pull out your phone. It was already 9:30. Time sure flew by when you were busy at work. There were also a few messages from your relatives and friends wishing you a good luck and plentiful harvest for the season. You had done tons of research on farming from the books at the library during the winter season, but you still felt underprepared. With a sigh, you pocket your phone in your new black jean overalls and go back to the farmhouse to grab a woven basket that Sam had gifted you. He wasn’t sure exactly what farmers needed, but thought some vegetables or flowers would look good in it. You decided it would be your shopping basket for today, and your walk to Pierre’s began.

The fresh spring air was fragrant in your nose. You took several deep breaths of the scent of nature, which was bountiful in this small town. It brought a small smile to your face. Though you were still quite depressed about the whole deal with your mom, you had decided you weren’t going to let her dampen your mood on your work that needed to be done on the farm. Jodi had let you know how she found you: in your panic you forgot that Granny Evelyn and your mother used to be pretty close when your parents were still together. In turn, she thought she’d let her know that you were in town. She didn’t realize how tumultuous your relationship was with her and felt awful about the whole thing. As an apology, she left a batch of chocolate chip cookies along with her recipe tagged on to it on your doorstep the day after the Feast of the Winter Star. You forgot how good her cookies were and almost ate all of them in one sitting.

You pass by the clinic and enter the Pierre’s store, the bell atop the front door ringing to signal your entrance. You prepared yourself for a greeting from Pierre himself, but was surprised to see someone else behind the counter.

“Welcome to Pierre’s.” Abby calls out with monotony and freezes when she eyes you. Her blue eyes swiftly shift to the side and she starts to doodle on a torn piece of receipt paper with a pen. You approach the counter and you easily notice the slight panic in her face when you do. She was definitely expecting you to look around before coming to the counter.

“Morning, Abby. I need to buy some seeds for the farm.”

“Sure, uh, what do you need?”

You pull out the small list that you jotted down on your phone. “Um, I need tulip bulbs and potatoes.” You needed to start small and thought that you could sell some of the potatoes and flowers to make some more gold.

“Tulip bulbs are 20g each, and potatoes 50g.”

Your eyes widen at the prices. Your budget was very low, at the moment and you couldn’t even afford all you wanted today. With a sigh, you ask for four tulip bulbs and two packs of potato seeds, exceeding your budget by about 10g, but it was fine for now.

“Anything else I can help you with today?” Abby obviously uses her customer service voice to try and ease the tension between the two of you. There was no avoiding it; it was a small town and you were bound to run into each other eventually.

“No, thank you. I’m good for now. Thanks.” You nod, throw the bulbs and packs of seeds into your basket, and turn to head back towards the door.

When you reach your farm you spend the next chunk of time planting your goods and take the watering can over the soil to give them a good drink. While you sit on your porch to take a break from your arduous work, you glance down at your phone and let out a hefty sigh. It’d been a few days since you last spoke to Sebastian. You honestly were worried that he didn’t want anything to do with you after the stunt you pulled on him on your front porch on the Feast of the Winter Star. What if you misinterpreted his signals? He probably wasn’t interested in you like that, and was just being a reliable friend. You should just text him; his social anxiety probably would stop him from doing so. Maybe you could go on a midnight stroll like the two of you used to? Or you could ask Sam to hang out with you; he’d probably feel more comfortable if it wasn’t just a one-on-one hang out. You shake your head of these thoughts and quickly get back to clearing out more of the trees, grass, and bushes on your property.

You soon got into a routine of waking up first thing in the morning, tending to your crops, and then going through and clearing out more of the trees and tall grass that was taking over your farm. You had finally remembered to check your mail and was pleasantly surprised to find money sent to you from Lewis for seeds and other expenses, which you desperately needed. It came from the “Agricultural Fund” that all citizens contributed to throughout the year and was used as a bonus to help the local farmer get a good start on the season. You desperately needed the help because you came out one morning to find that several of the potatoes and tulips you had already planted had been ransacked by birds. You had woken up that morning and saw a gaggle of them gathered on your tilled soil and you had to run out waving your arms like a madwoman to get them to fly away. You needed a scarecrow, but you didn’t know how to make one. It couldn’t be that hard; right?

You rummaged through all the cabinets and drawers for possibly any books or other documents that might’ve gotten left behind by Gramps and Granny. At first it seemed futile, but tucked away in the back of the shelf in the closet by the front door was a book with several recipes/building instructions on various useful tools and more. It was a DIY booklet with instructions for making pathways, fences, and even sprinklers. You’d have to invest in some of those one day. You skimmed the pages as you flipped through them until you found one for a scarecrow. It was very simple and you already had all the materials so you find your toolbox and head outside.

You hammer some large tree branches and planks of wood in a cross for the arms and stuff a sack and some extra clothes you found in the house with straw. As you’re stuffing the rest of the scarecrow with more straw, you hear footsteps approaching you on the dirt. You weren’t expecting guests, and you were even more surprised when you see it’s a person you have never spoken to since moving in. He’s in a disheveled blue hoodie with the familiar Joja Mart logo on it along with a name tag that reads: Shane. The best way to describe how he looked was rough. And tired.

“Hey, uh, I don’t know why she couldn’t come herself,” he mutters under his breath, “but my aunt, Marnie, wanted me to tell you that she sells all kinds of farm animals here in town at her ranch. If you’re ever want any or need supplies go see her.” And just as quickly as he arrived, he turns on his heel and heads down the path towards town. You didn’t even get a chance to thank him, or even to give him your name, but you recognized his prickly demeanor; it was the same way you acted when you first moved to Pelican Town. It would creep back every now and then but you were at least more tolerable than when you had first moved in. You weren’t really interested in raising animals on your farm, as you were still unsure if you could even take care of the plants you planned on growing. You could barely take care of yourself some days.

You shrug the thoughts away and finish your crude scarecrow. You struggled to erect the damn thing, but after much trial and error you were able to keep it in the ground without it toppling over. You take your usual shower once going inside, and check your phone while you relax on your couch. The name that pops up is one you haven’t seen in a couple weeks.

Abby 2:16 PM
Hey guys, I was wondering if we could get
together and talk. Could we meet on Friday at
our usual time and place?

There was silence in the group chat for a moment. Out of all of you, Sam would most likely be the one to reply back. Sebastian was likely waiting for someone else to say something before he made a decision. You were debating whether or not to reply; she was the one who had said some terrible things about you and tried to do it behind your back. Your initial reaction was to ignore it. You were content with leaving Abby behind in your life…

That was a lie.

You missed how when you were kids she would always try to doll you up when you had the worst image of yourself. How she always tagged along with you like she was your sister during your summers as you both grew up. You didn’t want to lose one of the few friends you had, especially if she was willing to apologize and rectify the situation.

Sam 2:20 PM
Sorry. At work. That works.

You 2:20 PM
Same here.

Sebastian 2:23 PM
Yup.

That was the first you’d heard from Sebastian since the Feast of the Winter Star. You hadn’t necessarily been ignoring him, but you had been pretty busy with your work on the farm. It also left you exhausted and not in the mood to be socializing with people. You also were still afraid of approaching him since you did surprise him with a peck on the cheek and hadn’t heard a peep from him since. You take a deep breath. Leaving this problem to fester wouldn’t do you or him any good.

Your fingers type a message to Sebastian, and before you can second guess yourself you push ‘send’ and lay your phone face down on the couch.

You 3:57 PM
Yo, the weather’s nice again. Wanna go on a
walk with me tonight?

Silence.

He was probably busy working on a project, or maybe helping his mom with something. That’s the thing with texts, you can always answer later if you’re busy. You try to get your mind off it by switching on the TV and watching the weather, then the cooking show. If only I had a kitchen, maybe I could actually learn how to cook. You think to yourself and jot down some notes of the recipe for the future in a notebook. It was also available on her website but you needed to occupy yourself.

You weren’t sure how long you were watching TV, but your phone does buzz with a new notification and you pick it up at lightning speed. Your heart flitters as you see Sebastian’s name pop up, but it sinks when you read his response.

Sebastian 4:39 PM
Sorry, but I’ve got some important work
to do tonight. Maybe another time.

Though you were disappointed, this wasn’t unusual. He’d politely rejected your requests before. You’ll just have to go on a stroll without him to clear your head. You’d ask Sam, but you knew he had to work in the morning, and Abby… well, she was still up in the air at the moment. You sigh and splay yourself across your couch until it was about time to head to Jodi’s house for dinner.

That night, after dinner, you pop your earbuds in and roam Pelican Town. First you aimlessly walk the Cindersap Forest to admire the cherry blossoms flowing down the river. You almost go to see if Leah is still awake, since the lights in her cabin were still on, but decide against it. Alone time was always nice, especially after family dinners. You keep your focus on your music to ward off the spiraling thoughts that had been plaguing your mind ever since you had kissed Sebastian’s cheek. Why were you getting so worked up? It was just a quick chaste kiss; it’s not like you had made out with the guy. Though, after thinking about it, you were always curious what it was like to really kiss him. It’d probably taste like cigarettes. He was trying to keep himself from smoking around people but you knew the remnants of its sour and biting taste would remain in his mouth.

When you realized where your thoughts were roaming, you feel your face get hot and attempt to cover it with your hands. No one was around to see your embarrassment, thank Yoba, but hiding your face still felt more comfortable to you. You shake your head and make your way to the south entrance of your farm, then make a beeline for the mountain path. It felt like your feet had a mind of its own, and were taking you to the one place you absolutely didn’t want to be at the moment. Were you really that desperate for Sebastian’s attention? Or at least a sliver of a chance of stumbling upon him on one of his late night smoke breaks? There would be plenty of chances to hang out again soon. You’d be seeing him on Friday, after all.

You find yourself rounding the corner of their beautiful house and freezing in place when you see Sebastian’s all-too-familiar form by his usual tree. He’s not standing, though, and is hunched over in a kneeling position close to the ground while simultaneously scrolling his phone and smoking a cigarette. You could easily sneak past him to the path that led back to town. All you had to do was be like a ninja… and you blew it when your foot finds a pinecone and crunches louder than booming lightning since it was the dead of night. You stand up straight, in hopes of looking like you were casually walking by, and Sebastian lets out a startled yelp before falling back on his butt from his kneeling position. He quickly stands up, brushes the dirt from his pants, and freezes when he sees you.

“Oh, it’s just you, Y/N.” He didn’t call you by your name often. It was almost always “Farmer,” so hearing your name fall from his lips like that was… disappointing. “You scared the shit out of me.” He lets out that awkward laugh that he always uses when he gets nervous around people. It wasn’t one you were used to hearing all too often.

“How’s your work going?”

“Pretty good…” He lets the cigarette between his fingers slowly burn while the two of you exchange pleasantries. The smell of nicotine burns your nose but you didn’t mind; it was just a reminder that he was there in front of you. You could tell he was avoiding taking a hit of his cigarette while you were standing several feet away from him. For the first time since reconnecting with Sebastian, the silence between you two was thick with tension. You could feel it practically choking you much like the smoke dancing off the edge of his cigarette. And it was all your fault.

“Sebastian—”

“I should head inside.” He gives you a quick nod and snuffs out his cig hastily. “I still have some stuff to finish up. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“See you Friday?” You manage to squeak out.

“Yeah, I’ll see you Friday.” He waves stiffly and rushes to his front door. You can’t help but let out all the pent up tension in your chest when he disappears behind the door and you decide to turn back towards the path to head home.

If you roamed any longer you wouldn’t be able to wake up the next morning, and you still had to water your crops and cut some more trees down. You’ll see him in a few days, you consoled yourself and stuff your earbuds back into your ears for the short walk home. You crash on your bed immediately after locking the door behind you and plug your phone in for the night. You could ask Sam about it; Sebastian and Sam were close, and maybe he shared with your cousin what happened that day you kissed him. You groan into your pillow and lay there for several minutes in hopes of drowning out the thoughts plaguing your mind. You let out a long sigh and turn on your side to pull the covers over you. You needed to rest; there was a day of work ahead of you.

You woke the next morning to a text from Sebastian apologizing for bailing on you so suddenly yesterday. He said he’s been pretty anxious lately, and you had a good guess as to why. He promised to tell you more about it on Friday but that just made you more anxious about the whole situation. You found time to hang out with Sam before you all go to meet with Abby, and he shakes his head as you tell him what happened. He was getting ready to practice his guitar when you showed up so you plopped yourself on his bed and lean against the wall as he tuned the strings on his instrument.

“Seb tends to run from and avoid his problems, or the things his brain deems as problems. He’s done it several times throughout our lives.” Sam tries to smile away the awkwardness of the statement, but continues. “I don’t think it’s personal, Y/N. He’s better about it now, but sometimes he really gets too into his head about things.”

You hadn’t told him what happened on the Feast of the Winter Star. It was something you had kept from pretty much everyone except Leah. It was a little embarrassing, especially since Sam had set up that mistletoe for the two of you so you decided to leave that detail out. “I know… but it felt like he didn’t even want to see me that night.” You rub your arm and stare past him towards the wall on the far end of the room.

Sam plucks a few times on each of his strings and adjusts the tuning pegs accordingly before replying back. “He lets his anxiety rule him sometimes, much like someone I know.” You hear the humorous lilt in his voice and give him a pout. “Give him time, he’ll tell you what’s bothering him.” Your cousin starts to warm up and practice through whatever exercises and songs he’s been working on.

You simply close your eyes and focus on his playing for who knows how long until you feel a nudge on your shoulder. Upon opening your eyes you find Sam with his sunny smile shaking you awake. There was no sunlight coming in from his window, so it must’ve been nighttime. “Yoba, how long was I asleep?” A drowsy groan escapes your mouth and you stretch your arms to the sky.

“It’s about time to head to the saloon. C’mon.” He holds out his hands and pulls you to your feet. “Farm life tiring you out?” He chimes up as you walk out the back door.

“Very. It’s so much work. I don’t know if I’ve ever used my muscles like this before.” You rub your bicep dramatically, eliciting a chuckle from Sam. “I can’t stay up roaming town like I used to.” You joke, knowing full well that’s exactly what you did a few days ago.

“It’ll be good for you, I think. You’ll probably have more muscle than me and Seb combined. I don’t know about Abby, though. She’s always training with that sword of hers.”

“Oh?” This was new information for you.

“Yeah, she’s always wanted to explore the mines to fight off the rumored monsters in there but her parents have strictly told her not to even think about it. Also, the mine’s entrance is blocked at the moment.” The two of you approach the door to the saloon. After greeting Gus and Emily, you make a beeline to the lounge room.

“Either Seb is anxiously early or fashionably late.” Though you’re not looking, you can hear your cousin’s smirk as you both walk down the hall and see no sign of Sebastian in the lounge. Instead, Abby is seated at the table in the corner and upon hearing your footsteps she looks up from her phone.

“Hey, Abs.” Sam waves. His usual cheery demeanor seems toned down for the tense situation at hand.

“Hey, Sam. Y/N.” She looks to you and you nod. “Is Seb not with you?” Abby’s blue eyes look past the two of you in search of him. You and Sam shake your heads. “Oh, I thought he’d come with you guys. We can wait.”

“I’m right here.” Sebastian appears from around the corner and lingers behind where you and your cousin are standing in front of the TV.

“Oh, good. Um, let’s just jump right in. I… wanted to apologize to you guys.” She stands up from her chair and twirls her amethyst-colored hair around her finger. “Especially you, Y/N.” Abby’s azure eyes land on you intently and you suddenly feel unease at the sudden attention on you. “I said some terrible things behind your back. It was insensitive. I was thinking more about letting my bitter emotions out rather than thinking about how my words could affect you.” You nod without a word and allow to her continue, since it seemed like she had a little more to say. Abby turns to address the whole group. “And I’m sorry to all of you for being a shitty friend. I would like to make this right, and hopefully we can start being friends again.”

At first there is nothing but silence, besides the people chatting and the jukebox blasting music in the other room. Sam, like always, is the first to break the ice. “Thank you, Abby. If it’s okay with the others,” he looks over his shoulder to you and Sebastian, who you finally notice is standing awfully close to you, “maybe we could hang out for a bit tonight? What do you say?”

You were reminded of Abby’s stinging words from the last time you had hung out together in this spot. It’d been a couple weeks since you had last spoken with one another; and that didn’t include the few times within the past week you went to Pierre’s to buy seeds to plant. The underlying awkwardness of the group after the titular event always lingered in the back of your mind. Some days you remembered it and had wished it could magically return back to normal. Wishful thinking? Yes, but still a hope nonetheless.

“I’m fine with that.” You give a tight-lipped smile to her and she looks slightly relieved.

“Yeah, we could do that.” Sebastian speaks up finally.

With the unanimous “yes” for hanging out that night, Sam claps his hands together and goes for the cue sticks hanging on the wall. Sebastian follows closely behind and before you could take a step Abby puts a hand on your shoulder. You look to her and she squeezes your shoulder a bit. “I know I said it already, but I’m so sorry about what I said. Even though I hadn’t known what you were going through, it was still shitty of me to say those things.”

You bite at the dry skin on your lip, thinking of a way to respond. It takes a second, and after her swaying side to side with anxious energy you finally reply calmly. “I appreciate it, Abby. We all make mistakes, and I’m glad that you’re owning up to it.” You nod, and her blue eyes reflect an almost sadness before she quickly pulls you into a hug.

“I shouldn’t have said those things. I was…” she pauses, and looks over her shoulder to the boys who were chatting on the other side of the room, “jealous. I’ve had the hugest crush on Seb since we were young, but I never did anything about it. When he took interest in you I felt and thought awful things and let them take over.” She pulls back from you and avoids your gaze.

“It was pretty obvious you liked him.” You try to joke, hoping to lift the mood of the conversation a bit.

“I guess I wear my heart on my sleeve, don’t I?” Abby twirls her hair around her finger and lets out a nervous chuckle. “Seb does a good job of hiding his feelings, but his actions speak a lot louder than his words.” The two of you glance over to the boys one more time. Sam taps his wrist as if there’s a watch there with an exaggerated glare of impatience pointed towards the two of you. Abby sticks her tongue out at Sam. “I’ve done a lot of thinking since we last hung out, and I—I want to root for you and Seb. I think you would be good for him, and him for you.”

“Uh, thanks…” you smile weakly and look away. “Now let’s get over there before they start stabbing us with those cue sticks.”

“I say it should be the three of us against Seb.” Abby speaks up to the whole group as you approach, and the rest of the night goes on smoothly. There was still a bit of that awkward tension between you guys mostly due to the fact that you were still getting used to being friends again, but time would heal that. After a game or two of pool, Sam orders a pizza for the group and sits next to Abby at the table in the corner. There were only two seats there, so you decided to retreat to one of the sofas next to the vending machines to scroll on your phone. Sebastian takes a seat on the other sofa to do the same.

When the food arrives, Sebastian announces with a slightly shaky voice, “I’m going to smoke outside real quick. You guys can get started.” You watch as he bolts down the hall towards the front door of the saloon.

Sam puts his hand on your shoulder as you continue to stare down the direction he left and pushes you gently. “Go check on him. Something’s bothering him.”

“Why me?” You hiss.

“Because—you know what? No, I’m not going to tell you. Just go bring him back here. He’s probably walking back home as we speak.” Your cousin practically pushes you down the hall causing you to stumble on your own feet.

With Sam’s final words echoing in your mind, you quicken your pace to go out the door and, sure enough, Sebastian is rounding the corner of the saloon to go up towards Pierre’s. “Sebastian!” You call out and through his body language you can tell he heard you, but he continues to trek ahead. “Hey—wait!” You run up to him and try to match his pace.

“Y/N, I…” His voice is barely a whisper as he spins his father’s ring on his finger.

“I just wanted to check on you. You didn’t look too well before you walked out.” You reach out to him but he immediately takes a step away from you, halting his brisk walk.

“Don’t touch me!” His hand clench into fists and you jerk away at his sudden rise in volume. “Wait, no. I’m sorry.” Sebastian covers his face with his hands and turns away from you. “Please, just give me a second.” You nod, even though his back is to you and wait for him to calm himself down. You can tell he’s going through his usual breathing exercise. Deep breaths in while counting to four, then hold for four, then exhaling for four. His breathing is ragged at first then over time it slows down to a normal pace. His hands are covering his face for a majority of that time, but eventually they slide away, though he’s still fidgeting with his ring.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you.” He mumbles, his back still facing you. “I was getting real stimulus overload while we were in there. The jukebox, everyone talking, and the sound of the pool balls clicking against each other just set me off.”

“Did you want to talk about it?”

“No.” He snaps and you take a step back. “Y/N; I—I’m sorry. I really need some time alone.”

“Okay, but I want to help you. If you don’t tell me, at least talk to Sam about it.”

“No. It’s fine, really. I just need to go home and be by myself for a bit.”

His voice shakes and you can sense his rushed words. He’s trying to escape.

“Why won’t you let me help you? I hate seeing you like this.” You keep your distance this time, not wanting to have him jump away from you again.

“Because it’s your fault I feel like this!” He finally lets out and immediately runs his hands through his hair, realizing what he’s said.

Your hand reaches for your necklace to twirl the crystal between your fingers. “Oh.”

“Y/N, wait. That’s not what I meant—” Sebastian turns to face you, but is met with your back to him.

“I see. I’ll just leave you to it, then.” Without another word you turn towards the path leading to your farm and run. You don’t look back. So it was because of that kiss. That stupid stupid kiss. Just as you were hopeful for your friends to be back together again you ruined it.

The screen door slams behind you before you pull out your phone to apologize for leaving so suddenly to Sam and Abby. Those dark thoughts that had temporarily subsided started to creep back in. It always seemed like when things were going well in life something had to come in and humble you. To remind you that you didn’t deserve the peace that came and went.

You shouldn’t cry over a boy. You had more important things to worry about, right? No matter how hard you tried to convince yourself of this, the memory of what Sebastian said to you stung your heart. The two of you were nearly as close as he was to Sam, who was his best friend. You had thought he considered you a close friend, which was not a role he gave out lightly. His sudden anger was somewhat of a shock; Sebastian had been good at being calm towards you but now…

You try, and fail, to go to sleep as your phone receives several texts. Probably from Sam, no doubt. Ignoring these messages, you turn your phone on “Do Not Disturb” and roll on your side to face the wall. Your chest hurt from how tense it was. Your head hurt from all the crying. You just wanted to melt into your bed forever… But you still had your flowers and potatoes to take care of. That was your main goal. You needed to get this farm back into top shape for Granny and Gramps’ sakes. With that thought in mind you hug your pillow tight and close your eyes to sleep for the night.

As you were taking your leave, Sebastian kicks the air and lets out a loud “Fucking dammit!” before rushing home and slamming his bedroom door behind him. Demetrius yells something about it and Sebastian lets out another frustrated groan. He hops into his bed, smothers his face with the pillow, and mutters “I fucked up” over and over several times to himself. So much for his grand plan. His anxiety always ruined everything. Had he been calm about it he could’ve easily said that to you without dropping the fact it was you causing him to be so on edge.

His heart crumbled to dust when he saw the disappointed look on your face after what he said. It was true; you were the root cause of his anxiety, but it wasn’t something he wanted to blame you for. He had constantly thought of your lips on his cheek ever since you surprised him with the quick peck on his flushed skin. He knew that taking pleasure in the quick act would make his plan even harder to enact, but he couldn’t help it; it was confirmation that there was something between the two of you.

As he lays with the pillow over his face, Sebastian’s mind slowly starts to spiral into the negative void.

She’s never going to want to talk to me again.

You are such an asshole for that, Seb.

You failed at the one thing you were trying to prevent; breaking her heart.

and so on…

Sebastian sits up on his bed, remembering it is now spring time, which meant it was warmer out, which meant he could take his bike out for a late night ride. It would take a while to get there, but he could go to his secret spot. He nods to himself, approving of his plan, and jumps out of bed to grab his leather jacket. He longed to feel the wind blow against him as he sped down the country roads. He promised to take you on a ride when the weather was better, but he wasn’t sure if that was even a possibility any more.

Chapter Text

The next morning you get up bright and early to do your normal chores. Watering the crops that look very close to being ready to be harvested and clearing out some weeds that have popped up on the property. The potatoes and tulips were definitely ready to be harvested the next morning, so a trip to Pierre’s was needed. You were hoping and praying that Abby wasn’t there. You weren’t sure if you were ready to talk about what happened the previous night with her. Heaven forbid you ran into Sam on his way to his shift at Joja Mart.

“Welcome to Pierre’s!” You let out a sigh of relief when you hear the voice of a middle-aged man instead of your friend. “What can I help you with, Farmer Y/N?” You make small talk with him as he bags your things into a paper bag, hoping that the conversation ends soon. Before you turn from the counter to leave, though, Pierre speaks up.

“I hear that Abby finally apologized to the lot of you?”

“Uh, yeah. Last night.”

“Good. Good. She seemed pretty miserable these last few weeks, I’m glad to hear she’s trying to set things right.”

There’s a thick silence that settles between the two of you and you simply nod with a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah… Well, uh, thank you for the seeds, Mr. Pierre.” You hold up your basket and swiftly take your leave.

Upon your return home, you store your new seeds in the closet by the front door and decide to call it a day. It’s early, but despite all your work you’re still stressing about what happened with you and Sebastian last night. A shower was calling your name. After the much needed shower you get dried off and dressed in fresh clothes. You hadn’t done as much work as you normally did, but you felt exhausted. It was most likely a mixture of exhaustion from working, and the stress. I need a nap… You stretch your arms out and crash into your bed. The plush comforter swallows you whole and you fall asleep shortly after setting an alarm.

After opening your eyes hours later, you go to check your phone you see several missed calls and texts from Sam. Your heartbeat started to accelerate and you promptly speed dialed his number. The longer the phone rang, the more you bit at the skin on your lip. What if he’d gotten hurt at work? What if Vincent or Aunt Jodi was in trouble?

The moment you heard his voice greet you, you blurted out, “Is everything okay?”

On the other end of the call you can hear Sam take a deep breath in and slowly exhale. “Everything’s great. I think you need to come over. Like, right now.” He emphasizes and you’re already throwing your shoes on.

You hang up and take off in a sprint towards his house. You go down the path towards the old bus stop and nearly run into Dr. Harvey in the plaza. The world around you whizzes by as you focus your vision on the back door of your family’s blue house. Not even a brick wall could stop you with the power of your sprint, and you practically ram into the back door as you burst into the kitchen. You vaguely hear voices in the living room so you rush in that direction and almost trip on your shoelaces when you enter.

After skidding to a halt you heave forward and put your hands on your knees, panting from exerting yourself on the record time you made running from the farm to their house. “Is… everything… okay…?” You gasp for air after each word, and take one final gasp for air before standing back up straight. When you see the familiar figure in front of you, you can’t believe your eyes. You could only see his back at the moment, but you knew exactly who it was. He still looked like he towered over you even though you were grown up now, and his strong broad shoulders were obvious even under his coat. When he turned to face you, your jaw went slack and your eyes darted from your cousins and aunt to the man standing in front of you. You weren’t sure when you’d see him again, but you definitely weren’t expecting it this soon.

“Uncle Kent?”

“Hey, my little Bumblebee.” He smirks playfully and you tackle him with a hug so tight that you hear him breathe deeper for a bit of air. Oh how you had missed him. It seemed he always had infinite wisdom whenever you came to visit. Whether that came to arguments with Sam or which movie would be the best to watch on movie night, he always seemed to have the right answer for you. You could only imagine what the boys felt like at the moment. “You’ve gotten so big.” He pulls away and gives an exaggerated look down and up your form. “Who let you grow up so fast?”

You chuckle and hug him once more. “We missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, Bee.” He pats your head endearingly and you pull away to look at your family.

“We were thinking about going to the saloon tonight for dinner. To celebrate your uncle’s return.” Jodi smiles sweetly at you. “Just like old times.” Vincent bounces in place at this and you and your family spend the next hour chilling in the living room before walking to the saloon together.

Vince jumps into his father’s arms and holds him close on the walk over. You and Sam stand on one side of him while Jodi stands on the other side and hooks her arm around his free arm. Upon entering the Stardrop, you’re greeted like always by Emily and Gus, but Gus does a double take when he sees Kent. They exchange pleasantries and you all sit at your normal table in the far corner. After setting his son down on a chair Uncle Kent goes up to the counter and orders a large pepperoni pizza, and one order of spaghetti; just like you did when you were younger. When he settles back in, he looks up at you with a gentle smile.

“So, catch me up on everything I’ve missed.”

You start to explain your time in college, the art degree you received, and living away from your mother. He nods at this. “You’re an adult now, so I will be honest with you; I never liked you being with your mother.” You’d always known. Your aunt and uncle tried to hide it and be cordial because she was your mother after all, but you had learned very quickly that not a lot of people, especially in your family, cared for her. “It’s a good thing you left her.”

“She was actually here about a week or so ago…” You bit your lip and could feel the blood starting to flow from how much of the delicate skin you bit off. Your uncle’s posture stiffens at your words and he waits for you to explain. “She had come to see me for the holidays, and I wanted to try and see if we could work it out, but in the end: she still didn’t care. So I’ve since cut her out of my life.” Though you’d been much better off without her, you still felt a twinge of remorse and sadness. You weren’t sure if you could ever look back at that moment and feel 100% content with your choice, but it was certain that you were doing better without her in the equation that was your life.

“I see. If she ever tries to bother you again, we’re here for you.” He reaches out for Jodi’s hand and she smiles her motherly smile at you.

You nod and decide to change the subject to something more positive. “My crops are coming along fine, after some mishaps with the local crows.” A nervous smile spreads across your face. “I built a scarecrow pretty quickly after that. Anyway, would you want any potatoes when they’re done growing? I thought you might like some.”

Aunt Jodi nods. “I’m sure we can make plenty of delicious food with some farm fresh potatoes. Thank you, dear.”

When your food comes out you all dig in, and your eyes light up at the pile of spaghetti on the plate in front of you. You had gotten Gus’ spaghetti plenty of times since moving back, but as you took your first bite you swear it tasted even better than before. Maybe Gus just had a good batch or maybe it was because it reminded you of the simple times of your childhood with Uncle Kent and Aunt Jodi. You felt like you were blasted to the past in that very moment, with the only difference being the addition of your younger cousin. During dinner there was plenty of laughter, especially whenever you made obnoxious slurping noises at little Vincent—“Y/N! Remember your manners!” Jodi would scold—and you felt at peace in the moment.

You’re brought out of your daze when your uncle reaches over with a napkin and wipes off some stray spaghetti sauce on your face. “Saving that for later, Bee?” You smile and sigh contentedly. Life was good right now with your family together like this. You wish everyday could be like this, and suddenly you were struck with some strange feeling. Though you were happy, you felt like you shouldn’t be, that you didn’t deserve it, or something was going to swoop in and destroy this moment for you at any second. Memories of the argument with Sebastian flash through your mind.

Sam seems to notice and shoots a text message to you.

Sammy 6:02 PM

Hey, you feeling okay?

You 6:02 PM

Not really.

Sammy 6:03 PM

What happened last night?

You and Seb disappeared at the same time.

Your thumbs freeze atop the screen of your phone, unsure of what to say, or what exactly you wanted to reveal to him. Did Sebastian say anything to him?

You 6:05 PM

I just wasn’t feeling great.

Sammy 6:05 PM

Did you and Seb fight? He hasn’t answered

any of my texts.

You 6:07 PM

No, Sammy.

“Hey! Off your phones at the table!” Jodi scolds and the two of you immediately comply, or face the wrath of your aunt. Sam, sitting next to you, gives you a sympathetic smile and you look away while stuffing your phone in your pocket. You were going to hear about this from him later.

Your head was in the clouds for the rest of dinner, and before you parted ways to your farm, Uncle Kent taps on your shoulder. “I’ll walk you home, Bee.” And he walks by your side silently, at first. Shortly after the rest of your family makes their way back to the house, he speaks up. “I just wanted to talk about your father. Without the little one around if that’s alright with you.” Right… He was deployed when it all happened. Even at the funeral, Jodi was the only one able to come, but you don’t remember much about that day—you try not to.

“I know how close you and your father were. I wish I could’ve been there for you during that time. It’s hard to cope and go forward with your life when you’ve lost someone like that.” He rests his hand on your shoulder and stops you from moving forward along the path. You freeze in place in front of the fencepost at the bus stop and avoid looking into his eyes. Though your uncle was always gentle with you, he naturally had a stern and cold resting face, even more so now that he’s returned from his deployment, and when talking about such a serious topic you knew that that’s what you didn’t need at the moment. “Many people in his… in our line of work get sick, both physically and mentally. I need you to understand that your father was sick and his brain was telling him there was no other solution to the problems he endured.” You don’t want to talk about this right now. Just a few minutes ago you were enjoying your time with your family just like old times; you didn’t want to remember this feeling. “He loved you, Y/N. More than anything in this world.”

“Then why did he do it?” You snap and try to unclench your fists and jaw. “Why did I have to be the one to find him like that?” Uncle Kent always had the answers. You knew he didn’t have one for that question, but you tried to convince yourself that he did to make it feel better. “If he loved me so much why did he leave me here all alone?” You shouldn’t make this about you. Dad was hurting and here you were sniveling like a child.

“Your father was suffering, and he thought it was his only way out. It had nothing to do with you, I promise.” He pulls you into an embrace and you hide your face in his chest. “You’re not alone, Y/N…” You tried to drown out the memories pooling into your brain, but it was impossible. The memory was too vivid.

You had went over to his house for a surprise visit since you had been able to leave work early that evening. With a turn of your key you swung open the door and called out, “Surprise!” No answer. Your first thought was that he wasn’t home, but his car was out in the driveway. Maybe he was in the back yard? You walked to the back door and: no dice. Worried that he’d fallen down or hurt himself, you frantically started to comb through the house. The spare bedrooms, the bathroom, the garage; he was nowhere to be found.

You then felt something eerie. It was the anticipation of something terrible, but the house was dead silent. Like the calm before the storm. You were sure you would hear a pin drop no matter where you stood in the house. The only room you hadn’t checked was his bedroom. With each step you took towards his door your footsteps sounded louder and louder, and you felt your stomach churn more and more at what you would find beyond it. You didn’t know in the moment, but your intuition was warning you that something was very wrong. The floor beneath you creaked as you reached out and swung the door open. And that’s how the worst day of your life happened. In a blur you called 911 and tried to see if he was still breathing or any other evidence of life, but you knew in your heart it was too late. He was long gone.

“It’s not your fault, honey.” Your uncle’s voice brings you back to the present and you can’t help but shake your head.

“If I’d gotten there sooner—”

“Y/N, don’t—you will spiral with all the ‘what ifs’ and it will eat away at you forever.” Uncle Kent strokes your hair in hopes of soothing you.

“If I had been paying more attention, I could’ve helped him!”

“If you hadn’t gotten there when you did, he would’ve been found much later, sweetie.”

“If I—”

“Y/N!” Kent’s stern voice pierces through your spiraling thoughts. You could hear the pain trembling within his next words. “Please, don’t blame yourself. Soldiers like us… we have so much to mourn and so much pain we have to sort through. Your father was no different. You never noticed because he was very good at hiding it from you. I need you to understand that.”

“But—” You start but immediately shut your mouth.

“No buts! It was never your fault, and it never will be. He loved you so much, Y/N—you were his world.” You wipe the tears falling down your cheeks and sniffle. After taking some deep breaths you finally look to him. He seems to regret bringing up the topic now. “Now, let’s get you back home, you need your rest for your work tomorrow, right?” He quickly changes the subject, and starts to walk you the rest of the way to your home. You were probably going to go roam the town like you used to when you first got here; a midnight walk was definitely needed.

Kent walks you up the stairs to your cabin and waits for you to open the door and gives you one final hug before leaving you to your devices. Some time passes while you sit on your bed staring at the wall, just enough where you think your uncle is long gone, and you open your front door. It’s much darker now, and the moon is starting to make its way over the horizon in the distance. You were reminded of the many nights you spent roaming the town aimlessly when you first moved to Pelican Town. Alone to drown in your thoughts and memories of a time before the sudden change in your daily life. You hadn’t expected to be here. Not in Pelican Town. Not anywhere, really. You wanted your dad to be here, he’d know what to say to help quell the tsunami roaring inside your heart.

You realized you were staring off into empty space while standing on your porch. You hadn’t moved a muscle since deciding you were going on a walk. Before you move to go down the steps, your eyes fall on the small patch of tulips and potatoes you had planted earlier. Proof of your hard work. That, despite it all, you were still here. You had to make sure they prospered, and to do so meant you needed energy. Which meant sleeping at an appropriate time. After a deep breath in, you relax your shoulders and turn back to your cabin door. There was more work to be done tomorrow, and you needed to be ready for the day ahead.

The next morning your eyes flutter open, but it doesn’t feel like you got a wink of good rest. Your body feels like it’s melting into the covers with the weight of your emotions coursing through your brain. Pushing yourself up into a sitting position, you look towards the window and see that beams of light are pooling into your cabin. Normally when you wake up the sun is barely rising over the horizon. “Ugh, how long did I sleep in?” Your voice is low and gravelly while you rub the sleep from your eyes and stretch your arms over your head.

You skip breakfast for the morning and go straight to your porch to grab your farming tools you left from the previous day. As you make your descent down the stairs, you look up to your plot of land where the rows of tulips and potatoes should be. Instead, you find that it’s completely empty and that your crops have been harvested; but you hadn’t done it. In a panic you go to investigate and sure enough, there’s nothing there. There was no way that crows got to them, because it looked like someone had gone in and dug it up by hand. A low and heavy groan of frustration escapes your lungs and you point your face up to the sky with your eyes closed. Great. All that money down the drain…

You cut your losses and turn back towards the porch to go grab your new seeds from inside and notice your basket and then a bucket of water with… tulips. The basket contained freshly washed potatoes, and your tulips were cut and placed in the bucket of water. There’s a small handwritten note placed in the basket of potatoes, and you recognize the messy handwriting right away.

Hey Bee,

I thought I’d help you get some work done today so I stopped by before my shift. Don’t forget we have dinner tonight at home.

Love, Sammy

PS: Mom says to sell the flowers to Evelyn. She’ll use them for the Egg Festival this week.

You smile softly and neatly fold the paper to put into your pocket. With a new slight pep in your step you grab your new seeds and tulip bulbs to plant them in the same rows you had previously planted the others. In no time your work for the day is done, and you remember you have some flowers to sell. You pick up the pail of water with the tulip stems and walk into town straight towards Granny Evelyn’s house.

After selling your flowers to Evelyn you take them to the saloon to store in the large walk-in fridge which housed many more flowers that had been purchased for the Egg Festival decorations. A few hours later as you sit at home on your bed your receive at text from Sam.

Sam 4:45 PM

So: what happened with you and Seb?

You 4:45 PM

I told you already; nothing.

Sam 4:46 PM

Y/N. Please don’t lie to me.

The two people I care about the most are

hurting and won’t let me help them.

This was just a repeat of the conversation with Sebastian, except you were on the receiving end this time. You could refuse to answer. It would be so easy to brush off his concerns, but the longer you thought about it the more you knew that it would just cause more problems.

You 4:50 PM

I was trying to ask him what was making him so

anxious, because was leaving, just like you said.

And I could just tell something was up.

But he wouldn’t tell me and I kept pushing

him for an answer.

Then he snapped at me and said I was

the reason why he felt so anxious.

Sam 4:52 PM

Ugh. I can’t believe he said that.

He didn’t mean it, trust me.

You 4:52 PM

Oh he definitely did. I know exactly

why he was feeling that way.

Sam 4:53 PM

Care to share with the class?

You froze. You didn’t want to admit what you did; it felt like something that should stay between you and Sebastian. It was almost embarrassing now that you were trying to put into words what had happened that day.

Oh yeah: On the Feast of the Winter Star I gave him a kiss on the cheek after he dropped me off at my house and hid behind my door. We hadn’t spoken about it until that night at the saloon!

You sigh. He needed to know.

You 4:55 PM

Remember that little trick you left for

us at the Feast of the Winter Star?

Well, we didn’t think it was funny, but I decided to

use it as an excuse when he dropped me off at my

place.

Just a little kiss on the cheek.

And then I avoided talking to him until that

day at the saloon because I thought he

hated me for doing that.🙃

Sam 5:01 PM

I see.

I think you should talk to him. He’s going to be

way too anxious to do it himself.

You groan and lean your head on the headboard of your bed. He was right; Sebastian was normally pretty good at communicating with you, but you knew he had issues with social anxiety. It had never been much of an issue between the two of you. Except for the few times he said his social battery was dead, but even then he’d always be down to shoot you a few messages.

You 5:04 PM

I could try. 

Sam 5:05 PM

Cool, let me know if you need anything. :)

You set your phone down on your bed and rub your eyes, mentally preparing yourself for the talk that would be happening between you and Sebastian. In your heart, you knew that avoiding the problem would not fix it; no matter how much you wish this problem would just magically fix itself. Letting out one final sigh you open up your messages from Sebastian and quickly type out a text. Your finger hovers over the send button, though. You stare down at what you’ve typed, and shake your head; you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Sam’s scolding voice was already ringing in your brain, but you ignore it and plug your phone into the wall. You seemed to ruin just about everything, didn’t you?

Chapter Text

Sebastian stares down at his phone that sits on his desk. His breath ragged and heart beating a million miles a minute. Sam had told him so many times to just talk to you, even if it was just by text. Every time he pulled up your message thread on his phone, though, he’d chicken out and stuff it back in his pocket to resume whatever project he was working on or game he was playing. This went on for several days; him avoiding going outside even more so than normal and almost never leaving his bedroom, let alone his house.

It was terrible timing, too, because he had wanted to surprise you with some tickets to a band the two of you really liked. When he found out they were going to be in the area he purchased some tickets online in hopes of taking you, but because of his blunder he was unable to work up the courage to bring it up to you. I could always just bring Sam instead. Is what he told himself many times since then.

He’d have to face you eventually, he knew this, but his brain kept telling him that he’d practically die if he did, so he avoided you. It was an old habit of his that he usually ignored, but the intensity of these emotions made it real hard for him to go through his usual methods of calming himself down and rationally thinking about things. Sebastian’s phone suddenly buzzes and he pulls it out a little too eagerly.

Sam 5:05 PM

Bro

I love you, but: Why the hell did you tell my

cousin she was the reason why you were

anxious???

Sebastian 5:10 PM

I don’t know. It was stupid, I know.

Sam 5:11 PM

Yeah, very stupid.

She thinks you hate her. You two need to

talk. Like the adults you are.

Sebastian 5:11 PM

Well that’s great. She probably never

wants to talk to me again.

Speaking of; I got these tickets for this

band. Do you wanna go?

Sam 5:13 PM

What?! No, Seb. You’re supposed to take Y/N.

She likes that band.

I’m coming over.

Sebastian curses under his breath and spins in his computer chair while waiting for Sam to arrive. Instead of letting his anxiety settle in, Sebastian tries to move around his room to tidy it as best he can. He usually has an organized mess, but looking at it now made his swirling emotions and guilt worse. After about 10 minutes or so, he hears the front door swing open upstairs and then footsteps hurling themselves down the steps to his bedroom. Without a knock, his bedroom door swings open.

“Bro.” Sam gives one of the most disappointing looks he’s ever given Sebastian; and there were plenty of times he’s disappointed his best friend. “Why do you two have to make this so complicated? You both like each other; just make up and make out!”

“It’s not that simple, Sam.” Sebastian continues to pace around his room, running his hands through his hair.

“It literally is.”

“I don’t want to hurt her. I—I had a plan, to make sure this didn’t happen.”

“You’ve already done that, dude. Wait,” Sam double takes, “what do you mean plan?”

Ugh. Me and my big mouth. “We’d be friends—that’s it—so I could still be in her life. If we were together she’d just end up getting her heart broken. It’s always like this; and I needed to keep my distance to spare her from my inevitable mistakes. I didn’t want it to be like this.” Sebastian starts to ramble.

Sam’s expression hardens at this. “I know she likes you, dude. She told me what happened at the Feast of the Winter Star.” Realizing that his tone was getting more frustrated he softens up. “Why are you so afraid?”

“Because I don’t want to end up like my parents!” Sebastian finally cries out and covers his face with his palms. Sam’s shoulders relax and he looks off to the side. Maybe it was that complicated. “I don’t want her to end up like Mom. She was miserable until she met Demetrius. I know she blamed herself.”

“Seb… You’re not your dad.” Sam takes a step forward to where Sebastian is still standing with his palms tightly pressed against his eyes. Tears flow from them and down his arm. Sebastian is unable to respond, and simply cries into his hands. It’d been awhile since he’s felt this low. This vulnerable. He was never embarrassed to cry in front of Sam, but it’d been a long time since his best friend had to witness it. I don’t want it to happen again. Not again.

Suddenly Sebastian feels hands on his shoulders. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there crying into his hands, but from the way his eyes and chest hurt it must’ve been quite a bit of time. Without saying anything, Sam pulls Sebastian into a tight hug and holds it until he feels Sebastian try to pull away from it. “I’ll say it again, Seb: You’re not your dad. He wasn’t even here for, like, your whole life. You can’t inherit that kind of stuff.” Sam jokes lightly and allows Sebastian to steady his breathing again.

“I can’t force either of you to do anything, but… it really does hurt me to see both of you like this. When Y/N came to town I didn’t think she’d be capable of trying to live as normally as she could, let alone catch feelings for my best friend.” He flashes another smirk. “And I know you’re afraid Seb; honestly it makes sense, but I think you should try. It’s obvious you want to be with Y/N, and you’re torturing yourself because of your fear of failure.”

“Sam…” Sebastian finally croaks, keeping his face hidden in his hands. “I—I don’t know.”

“This isn’t the first time this has happened, you know.” Sam tilts his head and squeezes Sebastian’s shoulders.

“What?”

“When we were in, like, middle school you snapped at Y/N over something. I honestly don’t remember, but it was similar.” He thinks hard to try and recall the events. “I think you called her annoying or something and stormed off.”

Sebastian doesn’t remember. There’s parts of his childhood that were fogged out of his memory. His therapist had said memory loss was pretty common when going through depression and the like. So he did this already in the past, did he?

Sam sighs. “Yeah. You did the same thing—avoided talking to her—until I convinced you to apologize to her, because I know you didn’t do it on purpose.”

“I honestly don’t remember doing that…” Sebastian’s voice is muffled behind his hands.

“What I’m trying to say is: you’ve made mistakes in the past, but you’re a good guy, Seb. You wouldn’t be fretting so much about this if you weren’t. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, man. Just go for it. I…” Sam hesitates on what he’s going to say next but decides against it and says something else instead. “I’ll be with you every step of the way if you need me to.” He rests a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder, hoping to coax him to get his hands away from his face.

“I’ll think about it… She deserves an apology at the least…” Sebastian nods after a brief silence falls between the two of them.

Sam claps his hands together. “How about this: I’ll get you some tissues and we can game for a bit before I go home.”

“Do you just want to sleep over?” Sebastian sniffles between one of the words and his best friend chuckles.

“Yeah, we can do that.”

Sebastian uncovers his face when he hears Sam head up the stairs and takes several more deep breaths with his eyes still closed. He was still convinced he’d ruined any chance of even a friendship with you, but the thought of you milling over his meltdown hurt.

At the Egg Festival… I’ll apologize…

On the days leading up to the Egg Festival, Sam continued to try and hype up Sebastian into talking to you. He even enlisted Abby’s help who in turn enlisted Leah to help her get you on board. That way if one of you chickened out, the other would have a better chance at going for it.

“Don’t worry; we’ll get her in tip top shape!”

Sebastian hadn’t been this nervous for a festival since the Flower Dance last year; that one always got on his nerves. As everyone gathered in the plaza, his eyes furiously scanned for your arrival. “Hey,” Sam prods Sebastian’s arm with his finger, “it’ll be fine. She will forgive you if you explain, man. Y/N is not one to hold grudges like that.” Sebastian simply nods and returns to watching the path to the bus stop for you.

“Hey, guys!” Sebastian turns towards Leah’s voice and sees her, Abby, and you coming up from the south path over by Sam’s house. The girls must’ve met at Leah’s place before coming to the festival. He gives a small wave to Abby and Leah then locks eyes with you. His instinctive reaction is to hide his face and he almost feels his feet about to move to take him far away from the group. He immediately stops, though, when he sees your gentle smile that looks like it was meant just for him. Sebastian smiles back sheepishly and stays put next to Sam who is chatting your guys’ ears off.

His heart almost stops when you walk up next to him. “Hi.” Your voice wavers, but he can tell you’re trying your best to be brave as well.

“Hey.”

“Do you want to go stand over by your usual tree? I think Sam’s going to be doing a lot of talking.” You chuckle and by just that alone he feels a warmth in his chest and lighter on his feet. Like he could float away at any second. Without saying a word he simply nods and the two of you sneak off towards his usual spot. For a moment there’s a thick tension that sits between the two of you as you both stare off to your group of friends.

What do I say?

How should I start this apology?

Should I let her talk first?

Sebastian’s mind races and the more his anxious thoughts take over the clammier he feels himself getting.

“I wanted to talk—”

“Can we talk about—”

The two of you stop once you realize you started at the same time and he is once again graced with you cute laugh. “You go first, Sebastian.”

“Oh, um…” He avoids you eyes in any way possible and sways side to side, biting at the dry skin on his chapped lips. “I need to apologize. For yelling at you and for what I said.” He word-vomits out and takes several deep breaths before continuing. “I’m very sorry. I didn’t think about how my words could hurt you and tried hiding what was going through my mind.” Sebastian glances over to you to see your reaction and you look guilty. “It’s not your fault! I promise. I just… need to explain some things to you.”

“I’m sorry for kissing you so suddenly.” You mutter and rub your arm. “I read the situation incorrectly and made you uncomfortable.”

“Y/N, I wasn’t uncomfortable because you kissed me.” Sebastian grips the sleeves of his long-sleeve undershirt tightly in his palms. “I actually didn’t mind at all.” He says barely above a whisper and you turn to face him with your face melting into realization at what he just said. “I just—”

He’s interrupted by Mayor Lewis announcing that the start of the egg hunt will begin. He notices that you seem to want to head over there, and Abby starts to approach the two of you. When you look back at him with apologetic eyes he nods. “Go ahead, I’ll be here when you’re done.” A smile melts back to your face and he watches you run off with Abby for the egg hunt.

While you’re gone he pops a cigarette in his mouth and lights it up, in hopes he’ll be done by the time you’re done. From a distance he watches the results and is surprised you beat Abby by just one egg; she’s won every egg hunt since she was eight. You march over with your prize atop your head with a giddy smile, one he realizes he’s missed this whole time he was avoiding you. It’s a straw hat, much like the one Jodi gifted you on the Feast of the Winter Star.

“I won!” You beam and he ruffles your hair playfully.

“Good job, Farmer.” You smile even more at his nickname for you and he feels much better about talking with you.

“Why don’t we talk over at my place? Little more privacy.” You nod and the two of you start walking towards the path to the bus stop. Sam, Leah, and Abby say quick goodbyes, and Sam is practically pushing the two of you to get out of there. Once you reach the porch the two of you plop yourselves down on the wooden steps and you glance over to him. “So… you didn’t mind me kissing you?” You start quietly.

Sebastian’s heart starts to pound in his chest again. “Not at all. I… well…” He stammers and tries to come up with what exactly he wants to say. He feels you nudge his hand with yours as you offer it to him. He hesitates for just a second, but remembers what he promised Sam and lets you grasp his hand. You rub small gentle circles with your thumb, and the sensation starts to calm him down. “Y/N, I had this silly plan. I was scared. Scared of hurting you if we were to ever get any closer than we already were. I was going to keep my distance but still be your friend. I couldn’t even follow my own plan, though. I liked holding your hand, and hanging out late at night, and seeing you whenever I could. I made it harder and harder to keep myself away from you.

“I haven’t had a meltdown like that in a long time. When you had approached me outside the saloon I really was having a stimulus overload. The sounds were setting me off, but it was also from being around you. When you tried to reach out to me I knew that the sensation of being touched would make me feel worse and add to my stimulus overload. I was trying to pretend that what happened on the Feast of the Winter Star didn’t happen so I could go through with my plan, but deep down I knew that wasn’t going to happen. When I get anxious, I can get pretty angry. I hate it. I hate myself when I do it. I’ve hurt Sam, Abby, my sister, my mom…” he trails off for a second and continues, “and now you. I feel like shit every time it happens. That’s why I yelled at you, and yeah; you were the source of it all but I didn’t mean it like that. I was just nervous about acknowledging what happened and having to push you away.”

You nod with everything he says and though he had just gone through this with great haste, you still gave him some time to talk if he had anything else to say. The feeling of your hand in his helps calm him down even though he still avoids looking directly at you. “I hope you can forgive me, Y/N.”

“Of course I can. I’m sorry for not understanding your struggle and not giving you a chance to explain yourself sooner. I really thought you didn’t want anything to do with me.” He hears you let out an awkward chuckle and he echoes you. Once you see him more relaxed, you loosen your grip on his hand and let go to give him some space.

Sebastian shoots his hand back out and grasps yours once more; tightly. “There’s one more thing. I want to make it up to you.”

“Oh Sebastian you don’t—”

“I had planned this awhile ago, but after what I did I thought you wouldn’t want to go with me. Sam forced me to come to my senses.” Sebastian laughs. “I got us tickets for that band we like. They’re going to be coming to a small venue somewhere outside of Zuzu. I thought you’d like to see them with me.”

“No way! Really?” He feels butterflies flutter in his stomach at your excitement and he nods. “Yes! I’d love to!”

“Cool. We can even ride my bike there.” Sebastian notices you perk up at this.

“Oh, I can’t wait! I’ll need someone to watch the farm for me. I’m sure Jodi or Sam can… They’ll also need to check on Azzie…” You start to trail off, deep in thought.

“Azzie?” Sebastian tilts his head.

“Oh yeah! You’d love Azzie. One second; let me find him.” You jump to your feet and start to roam your farm looking for something. Sebastian also stands up and chuckles lightly at the silly sounds you’re making. Must be an animal… “Ah, here he is!” He hears you from the other side of the farm and waits for your return. In your arms is a pure black cat with a notched ear. “This is Azrael; or Azzie.” You hold the cat out to Sebastian and he leans forward to get a better look at the cat. Azzie immediately shows his belly to him and purrs loudly, lightly swatting at his hand for pets. “He wants you to pet him.” You giggle and Sebastian complies.

Azzie’s purr rumbles in his chest as Sebastian pets his belly, and once he’s had enough he rolls back to being right side up and hops from your arms. The two of you watch as he wanders into the thicket of trees to probably hunt for mice. “He’s cute.” Sebastian smiles and you nod.

“Shane came by saying they found him roaming the woods on his own. He seemed pretty friendly and not scared of humans so they thought he might like it with me.”

Sebastian almost flinches at the mention of Shane but tries to keep his cool. You were allowed to have other male friends besides him. He’d honestly be more worried if it was Alex. “Oh, so you know Shane pretty well?”

“Not really. I honestly think he thinks I’m annoying, but it’s whatever. He reminds me of me when I first moved here.” You shrug and turn to face him. “I hate to kick you out, but I do have some work to do before I lose the rest of the day.”

“Right. I’ll get out of here.” Sebastian looks down to you with a gentle smile, one he doesn’t have to force. Suddenly he feels your arms wrap around him in a hug, and he almost yelps at the spontaneous embrace.

“I missed you.” You mumble into his chest and he relaxes his shoulders before returning the embrace.

“Me too…” You pull away, and as Sebastian stares down at you, he feels the sudden urge to pull you in for a kiss. The image flashes through his mind, but he shakes it away. Not now. He chides internally. “I’ll text you the concert details. Have fun with your chores.” He waves and stuffs his hands in his pockets before making his way up the mountain path to his home.

He was glad Sam convinced him to talk to you. He was right; it was that easy.

Chapter Text

“EEEEEK!” Leah and Abby squeals echo off the wooden walls in Leah’s cabin after you tell them of your plans with Sebastian. The concert Sebastian invited you to is tomorrow, and you wanted to let the girls know about where you’d be. You also knew that, Leah especially, would want to know about it.

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N; we need to go to your place right now and pick out an outfit.” Leah hops in place and is already getting her boots on.

“I can do your hair and makeup!” Abby offers and is following in Leah’s footsteps of getting her own combat boots on. You groan and slap your palm to your face. Maybe telling them wasn’t the best idea?

“Guys, it’s not a date or anything.” Leah and Abby look to one another then to you with clear disbelief. “What?”

“‘It’s not a date.’ She says.” Leah turns back to Abby.

“It isn’t!” You squeak and cross your arms with a pout.

“Get a load of this girl.” Abby returns Leah’s look and juts her thumb out towards you.

You groan and tilt your head up to the ceiling. “Why am I friends with y’all?”

“Shut up. You love us.” Leah sticks her tongue out and leads the way to her front door. The three of you walk north up towards your farm. As soon as your front door shuts they kick their shoes off and raid your closet; or what little you have in there. You simply make yourselves tea and wait on the couch as they pick out different combinations of shirts and jeans. You didn’t have much more than that since you had grown quite lazy, and stopped caring, when it came to your looks. It was too much effort.

Abby lets out a frustrated groan the longer they search through your clothes. “Is this seriously all you have? We’re going to need to move to my place for more variety.”

“Guys, it’s fine. I don’t need to get all dressed up.” They look like they’re about to resist, but your annoyed glare must be enough to deter them.

“How about this? I have a flannel that would go perfectly with this.” Leah holds up a t-shirt with some ripped jeans and you nod. That seems to lift her spirits and she lays it out on the end of your bed. “What time are you two leaving tomorrow?”

They plan out when they’re going to come over and hype you up for your supposed “date,” and leave you alone for the rest of the night. As you sit in bed you make sure that you have written down the instructions for taking care of Azzie for your cousin while you’re gone. Sam enthusiastically volunteered to watch over your cat, and you knew that Vincent would enjoy playing with him for the evening. Your furry friend could probably get away with Sam coming over to let him in the house to sleep, but you weren’t sure what time you’d be back, so you wanted Azzie to not be alone for the night.

As if he were reading your mind, Azzie hops on the bed and rubs against you to beg for your attention. Sighing, you set your notebook to the side and pet him real quick. Then your phone buzzes. It’s Sebastian asking about tomorrow. You start to type back a reply, but Azzie once again begs for your immediate attention and puts his tail in your face while walking across your lap and just stands there. A laugh escapes your lips as you pull up the camera on your phone to snap a pic for Sebastian.

You 6:57 PM

I’m pretty pumped. Idk how Azzie will do without

me, though.

You send him the picture of Azzie covering your face with his fur as he is splayed across your face.

Sebastian 6:58 PM

He is so damn cute. Such a sweet boy.

I demand another picture.

You roll your eyes, snap another picture of him stretching on his side, and send it to Sebastian.

Sebastian 7:00 PM

How can you ignore such a cute little guy?

What if we brought him with us?

You 7:03 PM

Imagine him with his own mini motorcycle

helmet.😍

Sebastian 7:04 PM

Shut up.

Not me looking up kitty helmets as we speak.

The two of you text late into the night, and you bid one another farewell once you remember you have to still get up to do your work in the morning. As you laid on your side you couldn’t help but think about the time you were going to spend with Sebastian tomorrow. It’d been quite awhile since the two of you had hung out together, so it felt good to look forward to it again. With one final sigh you snuggle under your covers with Azzie curled up at your feet.

Today was the day. You had gotten your chores done for the day, and Sam had briefly stopped by to pick up Azzie and his things.

“I’m sorry I have to have him stay over night…” You pet the black fur atop Azrael’s head, being rewarded immediately with a purr.

“It’s fine. Go have fun.” Sam smiles widely. “But not too much fun.” He adds as he walks down your porch stairs and you smack your face with your palm. With that, you lock your door and walk the mountain path up to Sebastian’s house. The walk only took a few minutes, but it felt like hours as you were focused on all the thoughts rushing through your brain.

Is my outfit okay?

I hope I’m not too early.

Does my hair look fine?

Is this a date?

That last one causes your heart to beat faster while you try to catch your breath. You kept denying it to everyone, but deep down you wanted it to be. You weren’t sure if you should bring it up to him at some point in the night. Maybe not… you didn’t want to get the wrong idea and then have to deal with the awkwardness all the way back home.

“Hey,” Your thoughts are cut short by Sebastian’s gentle voice. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah!” You feign confidence and he pulls out a helmet to hold out to you.

“This is my passenger one. Um, we won’t be able to talk much on the way there, the wind will be too loud, but just tap me on the shoulder if you need me to pull over for anything.” Sebastian helps you put your helmet on, then mounts his bike. You take a deep breath and climb into the passenger spot, trying to figure out what to do with your hands. The obvious move was to wrap them around Sebastian’s waist. You weren’t sure how that’d go for you, as you might faint from embarrassment at the prospect. “We’re going to go pretty fast, so you might want to hold on.” Taking the hint, you gently wrap your arms around Sebastian. You’re glad you did because even though he starts slow you feel your body jerk back at the direction change.

You take the road out of Pelican Town slowly at first, but Sebastian starts to accelerate up to the speed limit and you are holding yourself tightly against his back. It was definitely different than riding a car, as you felt the wind rush past you and the sound fills your ears underneath the helmet. For a long time you keep your eyes shut with your head against Sebastian’s back, but eventually your curiosity gets the best of you and you peek with one eye through the helmet’s dark visor to the outside world. The countryside of Stardew Valley flashes past you, and the rolling hills and mountains in the distance move slowly with the two of you. You sit up a little straighter, your death grip on Sebastian loosening ever so slightly as you stare with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape in wonder at the world rushing by. It was beautiful. You could see why Sebastian liked to take late night excursions on his bike. The sun was still up, making its slow descent towards the horizon, but you could only imagine what this would feel like with the moon shining down on you. Your thoughts are abruptly interrupted when you hit a small bump in the road and your arms lock back around Sebastian’s torso.

The rest of the ride you keep a firm grip on Sebastian and stare off into the countryside. At one point you almost fall asleep, and think you do because one minute you’re seeing cows grazing in the distance and the next you’ve made it to civilization. Sebastian nudges you gently and you sit up, looking around frantically trying to remember where the hell you are. Oh yeah, the concert. Sebastian has his hand held out to you and you accept his help to get you off the bike. “Did you fall asleep?” He smirks and you cross your arms.

“Maybe…” After slipping your helmet off you hand it to him. The two of you walk towards the entrance of the venue and you can already hear music blaring through the brick walls of the building. It’s nothing fancy. If anything, it’s probably one of the most run down places you’d been to. When you enter there’s a table set up for tickets and Sebastian fumbles in his pockets for them and takes a deep breath as he walks up to the table. The girl manning the table looks up with a smile and accepts them, giving the two of you bracelets for your admission. Sebastian leads the way further inside and you’re glad you came somewhat early, since the crowd seems to be small and quiet at the moment. Besides the music blasting all around you, that is.

“Oh, do you have earplugs? I brought my extra pair just in case.” Sebastian pulls out two small circular cases and hands you one of them. You hadn’t even thought about getting earplugs; it’d been awhile since you had been to a show like this. You accept them graciously and the two of you stand silently while leaning against the wall. At first it’s just your normal lull in conversation settling in, but then as the venue fills up with more people you notice Sebastian fidgeting and swaying more and more.

“Sebastian?” You call out to him, but he can’t seem to hear you over the music. With a tap of your finger on his shoulder he blinks a few times and looks to you and leans closer to better hear you. “You okay?”

He replies with an uncertain shrug. “There’s a lot of people here. I’ll be fine once the concert starts.” He spins his ring on his finger and you know that he’s trying to make light of his growing anxiety for your sake.

“Do you want to go outside real quick? The show doesn’t start for a hot minute. I can go with you if you want.”

“I’ll probably get a smoke in real quick. I don’t want you to be out there with me when I do, though.” He gives you a look as if asking for your permission for him to leave. “I don’t want to leave you all alone, though.”

“I’m a big girl, Sebastian. I’ll be fine. Just be back before the show starts.” You gently push him towards the entrance and you see his shoulders move as he chuckles. You make it back to your previous spot at the wall and scroll your phone while waiting for his return. The music playing on the speakers around you blasts just as loud and you almost don’t notice the young man approaching you with a drink in his hand.

“Excuse me,” he greets with confidence and you glare up from your phone screen, “name’s Matt.” He holds out a hand for you to shake and you take it carefully. He waits for you to introduce yourself and you have a feeling that you shouldn’t give him your real name.

“Leah.” She was the first one you could think of.

“Pretty name for a pretty girl.” He winks and you stare on unamused. “Anyway, my friend over there is a little shy and was wondering if you could chat?” You glance over to the general direction he gestured behind him and see a couple other guys restraining laughs and avoiding your pointed gaze.

“No thanks. Not interested.” You say curtly.

“Whoah, no need to be bitchy about it.”

“Bitchy? All I said was ‘no thanks.’” Your voice raises in volume slightly.

“I think we’re getting off on the wrong foot. Why don’t I start over.” He keeps his cool and you continue to glare at him through your eyebrows, never moving from your initial position of staring down at your phone.

With a deep breath to try and calm your nerves, you let out a sigh. “I already said I’m not interested.” And even though your voice is as calm as the pond water on your farm, it still elicits an aggressive response from him. Just as he leans in to make another nasty reply, no doubt, you feel someone step close to you. When you look back at who it is you almost sigh in relief at the sight of your friend.

“Everything okay?” Sebastian’s eyes never leave the stranger’s as he steps forward to put himself between you and the other man. He slides his hand into yours, lacing your fingers together, and had it been any other time you’d be blushing wildly at the spectacle. Right now you were just grateful that he was there to get the stranger to leave you alone.

“This your boyfriend or something?” The guy glares at you behind Sebastian but looks up towards his dark fiery eyes.

“Yeah. So you better leave before I make you.” His voice is cold as ice and you can feel the anger bubbling up from inside as he holds your hand tightly.

Sebastian wasn’t necessarily an imposing figure with his lanky stature, but he was definitely taller than him, which causes him to rethink his next move. “Yeah, I was just leaving.” He scoffs and turns off to his group of friends.

“C’mon, let’s move.” Sebastian’s hand tightens around yours before he pulls you to follow behind him. You snake through the outskirts of the crowd to an open area near the stage on the other side of the room. He leans in to talk into your ear. “What was that guy going on about?”

“I honestly don’t know. I was about to tell him off before you showed up.” You look down and realize he’s still holding your hand and you loosen your grip. “Thanks, by the way.”

“Of course. I wasn’t going to let some asshole treat you like that.” He smiles and rubs his arm while avoiding your eyes. Your heart sank slightly at his disappointed eyes when your hand slipped from his and you almost reached out again, but thought against it. What if it wasn’t really a date? Would it be appropriate to try and make it so?

Eventually the previous tension disappears. A few minutes pass of you two chatting and scrolling your phones before the house lights go down, signaling the start of the opening act. It was a band you weren’t all too familiar with, but Sebastian seemed to know them. You looked on with a small grin as he was nodding and humming along with the songs. It was rare for you to see him like this, as he was usually pretty quiet and still. It was a stark difference to when you were kids, though.

As children he seemed to be full of energy and would always pick on you. Usually in some inconsequential way that kids do; poking you, hiding your sketchbook, teasing you. There were a few times he’d take it too far and when Sam saw you crying he’d step in and demand his best friend apologize. Every time Sam stood up for you Sebastian always seemed to listen to whatever he said. He changed when you grew older and grew a little colder and grumpier. You had no idea at the time, but based on what you’ve seen since coming back you would guess it had something to do with his family.

He was always fidgeting with his father’s ring when he got anxious, but you never knew anything about the man, nor seen him the entire time you’d known Sebastian. He never talked about him when you were younger, and you’d only heard mention of him when you pointed out his ring long ago. There were no pictures of him in his room, and Robin had never acknowledged his existence the whole time you knew her. There must’ve been some strained relationship between all of them and his father…

“Hey,” Sebastian nudges you with his elbow and you are taken out of your daze. The opening act was already over signaled by the applause broke out around you. You blink a few times while applauding with the rest of the crowd and look back at Sebastian. “Doing okay?”

“Fine. Just spaced out for a bit there.” Your laugh laced with obvious hesitation.

He tilts his head, but his expression changes almost as quick as if he remembered something. “Let’s take a picture for Sam and Abs. I’m sure they’ll want to see how it’s going so far.” He pulls his phone from his pocket and opens up his camera app. “C’mere.” He wraps his arm around your shoulders and positions the two of you with the stage in the background. You lean your head against his and you both cheese a smile for the camera. After snapping a few you notice he has a giddy smile spread across his face while he checks them over.

It’s not much longer before the main act starts, and you feel yourself get that concert high as they greet everyone. Sebastian lightly bounces on his feet and glances towards you. You give him an excited smile and he returns it with his own before returning his attention to the stage. The two of you slowly make your way closer to the stage, but you soon find out why it was a good idea to stay a little farther away. Not too long into their first few songs you notice the people in front of you getting rowdy and pushing one another. You’d seen it many times before; it was a mosh. You, however, wanted nothing to do with it, and your eyes widened in panic as you were stuck on the outskirts of the mosh that was rapidly forming in front of you. You had nothing against them, but you definitely didn’t find as much fun out of it as others did.

Sebastian must’ve noticed quickly, because right after you had caught on to what was happening in front of you he swiftly places his body between you and the other concertgoers participating in the mosh pit that was growing rowdier by the second. When you look up to thank him, you realize that his breathing is more labored and his shoulders are tense. You grab his hand and he rubs quick circles with his thumb on the back of yours. He was trying hard to hide it, but you could tell he was getting overwhelmed. You pull out your phone and type out a message for him, showing him your screen when you’re done.

Wanna go outside for a second?

He nods, and without another word you lead the way outside the venue. The minute you exit you’re met with the scent of cigarette smoke and the clouds from people hitting their vape pens. You dragged Sebastian a little further down the sidewalk to get away from all the other people, getting ready to let go of his hand to give him some space. When he feels the pressure of your hand let up, he keeps a firm grip to keep you from moving. “I’m sorry…” he mumbles, looks away, and attempts to take a deep breath.

You shake your head. “Don’t apologize. It was loud and crowded in there.” He continues to draw circles with his thumb and you let him go through his breathing routine. After several reps of this, he finally seems to relax a bit, but doesn’t let go of your hand. Sebastian opens his eyes and looks down at you with a soft smile. One of adoration and pure warmth as his gaze bores into yours. You find voice caught in your throat. Thankfully, he speaks first.

“Thank you… for being patient with me. I know we’re missing some of the show right now.”

“As long as we’re back for my favorite, I won’t hate you.” You joke and he laughs along with you. “Sebastian?”

“Yes?”

Is this a date? You want to ask, but the question gets lost in the lump forming in your throat. The question had been on your mind the entire time you’d been here and during the days leading up to your trip out here. Everything was pointing to him reciprocating all the feelings you’d had, he’d practically admitted to it the other day. Yet, you were still hesitant. Something deep down was telling you there was no way, especially since you still had bouts of depression. Why would anyone want to be around someone like that? You weren’t sure if that would ever go away, but it didn’t help with how you thought people perceived you. It was almost too good to be true. Sam’s imaginary voice in your head was shouting at you to just go for it. The imaginary Abby in your mind was cheering you on. The insistent Leah in your brain was screaming at you to just get on with it.

“Is… this a date?”

Sebastian doesn’t seem surprised by this, not one bit, and he simply shrugs with a coy smirk. “If you want it to be. I—I would like it to be.” He adds with a little more serious tone.

“I think I’d like that too.”

“Good.” He interlaces your fingers with his and gives a tiny reassuring squeeze. “I think I’m ready to go back inside now.” You nod in agreement and he leads the way back.

The rest of the concert goes by without any more issues and you feel much lighter on your feet the entire time. Most of the time Sebastian’s hand was interlocked with yours, save for the few times you would rock out to the music with an energy you didn’t realize you had in you. At one point you go to the merch booth and buy matching t-shirts from their tour, and throw them on for the rest of the show. Both of you had a giddy smile the whole time and by the time the concert is over you want to stay in this moment for as long as you can. But, just like the show must end your night must also eventually end.

On your way out Sebastian drapes his jacket around your shoulders and holds you close to his side all the way to where he parked his motorcycle. Before he helps you put your helmet on he looks down at you with a smile that causes his eyes to crinkle. “Did you have fun?”

“I did. Thanks for inviting me.”

“Of course.” His eyes linger on you for a moment too long and then he places the helmet over your head. “Let’s head back. We’ve got a long drive ahead of us.” You nod and the engine roars as the two of you drive off back the way you came. You wrap your arms around his waist and lean into his back while watching the world rush by once more. Hopefully the two of you could go out for another ride soon; it was very therapeutic riding around like this. Maybe it could become a more regular thing.

You must’ve fallen asleep along the way, because one minute you shut your eyes while feeling the wind rush past you, and the next you feel Sebastian nudging you awake in front of your cabin. You open your eyes with a groggy groan, look around to see your home, and stretch your arms out above you. “Hello, sleeping beauty.” Sebastian teases and you drowsily punch him, almost missing while doing so. “C’mon. Let’s get you to bed; you look exhausted.” He slips off your helmet and guides you to your front door.

Your footsteps pause and you look up into Sebastian’s dark eyes, feeling yourself wake up a little more. He stares back with a similar look, the two of you locked into a stalemate of not wanting to leave the other. Sebastian gingerly brushes a tuft of your hair behind your ear. A question is on the tip of his tongue, but he avoids asking it with every light brush of his hand on your hair, or your cheek, or the hem of his jacket. After a moment of dodging the question, he finally plucks up the courage to ask.

“Can I—?”

“Yes.” You don’t even wait for him to finish his question and cover your face with the palms of your hands. Much too eager, you were.

His chest rumbles as he chuckles and leans down closer to you, gently removing your hands from your face and cupping your cheek with one of his hands. You feel his warm breath against your cheek as he lingers, hesitating to follow through with his request. There’s remnants of the cigarette from earlier. Its acrid scent filling your nostrils as you try to relax with how close he is to you. Finally, after what seemed like years, he places a quick and chaste kiss on your cheek. Your stomach lurches when you feel his chapped lips against your skin, paired with your heart banging in your chest you’re surprised you haven’t puked right on his feet yet.

“I’ll see you later.” Sebastian rubs his thumb against your cheek one more time before separating and walking back down the stairs.

“Good night, Sebastian.”

“‘Night, Farmer.” He gives a salute before riding back in the direction of his home.

Your hands cover your face one more time, trying to cool down your red cheeks, and finally take a step inside your home. It finally felt like things were looking up for you. You had your farm, your family, your friends, and him. You stare down at your phone and look at the pictures he took of the two of you he sent to the group chat.

Abby 10:32 PM

CUTE!!!!

Sam 10:33 PM

Glad you guys are having fun!!!

You save all the pictures, and decide to even set one as your wallpaper. Was it too early for that yet? You weren’t sure about that, but you were sure that you wanted to be able to look at it whenever you had the chance. Unbeknownst—and fortunately—for you, though, Sebastian had the same idea and did the same thing the minute he got home. A sigh is let free from your lungs as you clutch your phone tightly to your chest. The sooner you went to sleep, the sooner you could hang out again, you thought, so you plugged your phone in and fell asleep pretty quickly. Your smile never leaves your face the entire time, and you can only hope you can replay the night’s events in your dreams.

Chapter Text

The next day or two after the concert you were unable to hang out with Sebastian. “I got pretty far behind on my current client’s project, so I need to catch up on that.” Sebastian had texted you, but promised he’d get caught up as soon as he could. You were disappointed but also a little guilty; you were now realizing that he’d probably been so bothered about your misunderstanding that he wasn’t really able to focus on his work. You kept trying to remind yourself that it was okay, but you couldn’t help but feel bad. Instead, you hung out with Leah and Abby to dish out all the “juicy deetz” as Leah nagged you through text.

“C’mon, spill!” She grabs fizzy drinks for the three of you from her fridge and slides them across her dining room table to each of you. “I wanna hear everything!”

With a sigh you start to recollect the night’s events; from the motorcycle ride there, the man that harassed you, the concert itself, and the ride home. Reciting all that transpired made you think more about how much you were missing Sebastian’s presence again. Yes, he had work to do, but you still wanted to spend time with him. You mentally shake the thoughts away and almost jump when Leah leans in closer to you with her mischievous smile.

“What?”

“Is that all that happened?” You feel your face go flush at the phantom feeling of Sebastian’s lips brushing your cheek. “That look tells me everything.” She teases and you shoot a glance at Abby. The smile on her face looked as if it pained her to force it out.

“Nothing happened, Leah.” You mumble and look away from your friend who playfully pokes at you trying to prod for information, though you’re pretty sure her imagination is running wild.

“Okay, okay; that wasn’t the only reason we called you here today.” You raise your brow when she says “we” and glance to Abby whose more natural smile starts to return.

“The Flower Dance is next week, and you’re going to need to learn the dance.” Abby explains with a grimace. She totally knew that you would hate this, and she was right. Your eyes widen and you blink between the two of them with disbelief. “It’s super easy though!”

You feel yourself starting to whine at the thought. “Do I have to?”

“Who else is going to dance with your boy toy?” Leah pokes you again and you shoot her a scowl.

“He’s not my ‘boy toy.’ He’s my friend!”

“You’re still calling him ‘a friend?’ Girl,” Leah rolls her eyes and shakes her head, “everyone in town knows you two are close. When are you going to ask him out? He is sure as Yoba not going to have the guts to do it.”

Before you start going in circles with her, you close your eyes, take a deep breath, and open them once more. “I’m going to ignore half the things you just said, and ask again; do I have to?”

“I mean—” Abby starts but Leah shuts her up.

“Yes! You have to. So, get your dancing shoes on and learn the dance with us!” You’re dragged to your feet and into the space of Leah’s art studio; which was conveniently tidied up for once.

It took about an hour, but you finally felt confident with the traditional dance. As you were leaving, ready to go to sleep for the night, you notice a forlorn look on Abby. When she catches you looking at her, though, her smile returns. You go to ask about it but Leah bids her good night before you can. As Abby walks away, Leah pulls you around to face her. “Is she okay?” You glance back over your shoulder, and see that she is once again slouching, her posture more inward than normal.

“I need you to use that big brain of yours for a minute.” Leah taps your noggin and you try to swat away her hand. “One of Abby’s best friends is, most likely, going to be the date of her long-time crush at the local dance. How do you think she feels?”

Oh. For once, she had been doing such a good job of hiding her true feelings. Instead of animosity and jealousy, she was mourning someone she could never have. It probably felt like a punch to the face when someone you hadn’t seen in almost a decade waltz into your life and capture the heart of someone you’d been crushing on since you were kids. “Awful.”

“Right. Only time can heal that wound.” Leah pats your shoulders and you take that as your cue to leave. “No, she’s not mad at you.” She adds as you turn to ask her one question. A strained chuckle escapes your lips and Leah nods. “I promise. She’s just… sad about it all.” You bid her good night, and make your way back home with that revelation in your mind. How much was Abby really suffering over this? But… maybe Leah was right: maybe only time could fix that gaping wound in her heart… That night you settle worrying about your friend but Azzie seems to sense your distress and curls up close to your chest.

You woke up the next morning to the sound of rain pounding against your cabin walls. With a loud groan you pull the covers up closer to your chin and try to fall back asleep. It almost seems like it’s going to work until Azzie walks up and paws at you gently. It was his signal that it was time to get up, whether you liked it or not. “Really? You couldn’t let me sleep just a little longer?” Azzie nudges you with his nose in reply. “Ugh, fine. I’m getting up.” You start to go through your morning routine, about to head outside with your watering can and clippers for the weeds before you realize that you don’t even need to do anything today. With that in mind, you get some water and food for your furry roommate and lay down on the couch, noting down the recipe that you missed from a rerun of the cooking show.

The longer the rain patters against your walls the more your energy depletes. Rainy days weren’t your favorite. They always made you sad, and lethargic. Even a nice cup of warm tea couldn’t keep your energy up, so you felt yourself starting to curl up on your couch with Azzie at your feet and your mind starting to drift into slumber.

When you wake up the sun is still obscured by the clouds, and rain still pelts against the side of your home.

Yoba, how long was I out…? You stretch your hands above your head and let out a loud yawn. Azzie mimics you by stretching his paws out and letting out a rather cute yawn himself and he flicks his notched ear before strolling up to you and putting his weight against you. A startled yelp slips through your lips before you regain your balance on the couch and give him scritches at the base of his tail. Your phone buzzes in your pocket and when you pull it out your heart beats a little faster at the name you see on the screen.

Sebastian 11:27 AM

Hey, I got caught up with my project, do you wanna hang out today?

I know it’s rainy, but it’s perfect weather for what I have in mind,

actually. Let me know if you’re up for it.

You scramble to text a message back; he sent this an hour or so ago. You could only imagine what his anxious mind was going through at the moment.

You 12:40 PM

Hey, sorry I didn’t answer sooner. I woke up, saw it was raining, then

fell back asleep since I didn’t have to do much with my crops lol.

I’d love to hang out. :)

Sebastian 12:41 PM

No problem. Mind meeting me at my place?

Wear some clothes you don’t mind getting wet or dirty. :3

You follow his request and slip into some of your working clothes, pull on some rain boots, and make the trek to his house with your umbrella in hand. The mud beneath your boots squish under your weight with each step, and though it’s not cold outside, you feel a chill course through your body. A nervous tick no doubt, but your thoughts were rushing with some memories and thoughts you were trying to avoid at the moment. Rainy days always reminded you of Dad and the talks on the porch the two of you would have as the rain came down. You hadn’t thought much of Dad recently, and felt nothing but guilty because of it. You could never forget your father, obviously, but something about not thinking about him just made you feel awful inside…

“Hey.” Sebastian waves stiffly at you with his free hand while holding his own umbrella and you do the same. “Doing okay?”

“Yeah.” Your voice is soft and hard to hear above the rain. Sebastian tilts his head, looking like he’s about to say something, but decides against it. You try to change the subject back to the matter at hand. “Um, what are we going to be doing that involves being outside in this weather?”

Sebastian’s mischievous smile splays across his face. “Only one of my favorite activities on this planet.” He leaves you in suspense as you await his answer with a confused raise of your brow. “Frogs. It’s catching frogs.” He shifts his weight between his feet. Sebastian had always seemed to have a fascination with frogs, even when you were kids. It rained in the summers, not nearly as much as it did in the springtime, but you usually stayed inside at Aunt Jodi’s house and hung out with your family when it rained. Or you’d make the trek to your choice of the Community Center or library and spend most of the day there until you got bored or tired. Sebastian was rarely there, though, despite being an avid reader and Sam’s closest friend. He was most likely out here catching frogs, now that you thought of it.

“That sounds interesting. I’ve never done that before.” You smile and his shoulders relax.

“I-It’s something I always do when it rains. The frogs really like to come out during this weather and I like to try and catch them to look at them.” His words flow out almost in one long sentence but he realizes he’s said too much and avoids your gaze on him. “Sometimes Abby or Sam will humor me, but I know they don’t like to stand out in the rain and get all wet.”

If it meant you got to spend time with Sebastian, you didn’t mind too much. “Well, let’s go. I’m sure you’re an expert on catching them.” You take his hand and walk him towards the river by his home. His fingers intertwine with yours after he puts his umbrella away and he starts to lead the way.

As soon as you put your umbrella down by one of the nearby trees you kneel down with him under its canopy and he starts to explain how to look for and catch the frogs. There’s a certain way you’re supposed to safely hold them, you learn, and he even lists off the species of frogs that live in the area. There were times you felt your focus waning. Not because you were bored, but because thoughts about your father were lingering in the corners of your mind. You were only half there and half in your memories.

There was a time when you were younger that Dad had taken you out to play in the rain. Mother never did anything of the sort because she’d complain that you’d track in mud and get the floors all wet. Dad didn’t care, though. One day he helped you put on your little raincoat and boots and ran outside into the alleyway outside your apartment building in Zuzu City to jump in dirty puddles. Some passersby's would look on at what was happening in the alley, some would ignore the two of you. But your laughs echoed off the brick walls of the buildings as you stomped your feet to try and splash the other with water.

“Y/N?” You blink, and can’t tell if a tear is falling down your cheek or if it’s the rain’s doing. Sebastian has a small muddy green frog in his hands with a look of worry painted across his face. “You’re crying.” Sebastian abandons the frog by gently setting it down and turns towards you. As it hops away you try to wipe any remaining tears from your face.

“It got away…” You force through some more tears starting to form. The inconsequential guilt was settling in and making things worse for your poor mind.

“There will be others, trust me.” He reassures with a smile. “What’s going on?” He flicks some of his hair from his face and scoots closer to you.

His presence was calming, but you weren’t sure how much you really wanted to reveal. You were supposed to be enjoying your time together and here you were crying over some stupid rain. “It’s nothing.” The statement couldn’t be any less convincing with the waterworks ready to burst at any minute and the fact that your voice was caught in your throat. You lean your back against the tree, close your eyes, and lean your head back against the trunk. You feel Sebastian’s hand graze yours hesitantly but you gently grasp it in yours. “I hate rainy days.” It finally comes out. “They remind me of… my dad…”

“Oh… I’m sorry…” Sebastian quickly apologizes. “Do you want to go back inside? We can do something else—”

“No,” your head shakes rapidly, “I shouldn’t stay cooped up like I normally do. Just… sit with me for a bit.” You take deep breaths.

In…

The image of Dad laughing at a silly story you just told him flashes in your mind.

Out…

Taking warm showers after playing in the rain, something that always made you feel much better about the gloomy weather.

In…

The day of his funeral; it was raining.

Out…

You feel your breathing pattern interrupted by a sharp inhale to keep yourself from crying. It’s no use, though. The sobs start, and though you keep a hold of Sebastian’s hand, you feel like he’s a million miles away. Using the back of your free hand you wipe the tears that just get replaced with more and let go of Sebastian’s hand to pull your knees to your chest. The pitter patter of the rain feels drowned out; like you have fluff in your ears but it’s all in your head. Not even Sebastian’s voice could get through it. You continued to breathe but it seemed like ages before you finally felt yourself calm down.

You look up from your knees pulled close to your chest. Sebastian is still kneeling in the same spot he was before, never letting go of your hand. “I’m sorry, Sebastian…” You mumble and wipe the last of the tears from your face.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” He reaches out and brushes to the side some stray hairs that are plastered to your face from your tears.

“I probably look awful right now.” Without a word you feel his hand slip from yours and while you look up to see what’s going on, you realize that he’s backing up from the safety of the tree into the pouring rain. “W-What are you doing?”

His eyes are shut tight, shoulders tensed up from the sudden change from dry to soaking wet, and then he laughs. “We were going to get soaked from the rain anyway; let’s go.” He holds out his hand, using the other to wipe his bangs from his eyes. Still shocked by his strange decision, you take one last breath and let him help you to your feet. “C’mon. Over here is where a lot of them like to hide.” He interlocks his fingers with yours and leads the way to another side of the lake.

The two of you spend time catching frogs, and getting a little muddy in the process. There were a few that hopped away as you were about to catch them, so you jumped out and landed right on your belly. Sometimes you were successful, other times not so much. You started to feel the wave of despair you had previously felt start to melt away with every frog pun Sebastian told and every silly picture you took of one another. You looked on at Sebastian as he holds the latest catch and you recognize it as one of the ones he had lectured you on earlier in your frog hunt. He looks so much livelier when he gets to gush about frogs.

“What?” He smiles sheepishly and you realize you’ve been staring.

“Nothing.” You look away and cross your arms.

“It’s not ‘nothing.’ You’re smiling again.” He puts the frog down and watches it as it hops away towards the safety of a bush.

“I just… had a lot of fun. Thank you.”

“Of course.” Sebastian shivers right as he says this. “I think I’m ready to go inside now. I’m usually not out this long.” He grabs your hand, with no hesitation, and then takes the two of you back to his house. Both of you stand by the front door, rain dripping down your faces, and stare into each other’s eyes. He showed no signs of letting go of your hand. You didn’t want to go either, so you didn’t mind. “Um, do you want to hang out for a bit longer? I could throw our clothes in the wash and we could watch a movie or something.” His sentence trails off. You nod and he relaxes instantly. “Let’s head in through the garage.”

You follow behind him and he instructs you to wait by the door that goes inside so he could grab towels for the two of you. When he returns you kick your rain boots off in the garage and quickly head to his room. Sebastian dries off his hair as best he can and sifts through his dresser for some dry clothes for you. “Here,” he tosses them to you, “I’ll, uh, wait outside the door. Just open it back up when you’re done.” His voice shakes and he makes a quick escape, closing the door behind him. You change out of your sopping wet clothes into the dry set of clothes he handed you. You notice the socks he gave to you have a cute frog pattern on them and you chuckle at the sight.

Once he returns the two of you pick out a movie to watch, he stands over by where it’s set up on a table at the foot of his bed. “Do you mind if we sit over here instead of the couch? I honestly, uh, don’t want to move all this furniture around.” Sebastian shies away and rolls a tuft of his still-wet hair between his thumb and index finger.

You. And him. Sitting on his bed.

It’s just a movie. Don’t overthink it. You rationalize silently in your head. “That’s fine with me.”

“Cool.” Sebastian crawls onto his bed and pushes himself up against the backboard and wall to give you plenty of space next to him. You slowly ease yourself into the free space he has left for you and fold your hands in your lap. The movie starts to play and it is difficult to focus on what’s happening due to the amount of heat you feel radiating off you. You haven’t been this close in proximity to him in a hot minute, and it didn’t happen often so it still took some getting used to. Sebastian had his nose in his phone, but would look up to the TV screen every few moments. He never centered his gaze on you, though. It was obvious by him spinning his ring on his finger: he was nervous. Fortunately, so were you, so it made you feel better that the feeling was mutual.

Leah’s voice rings in your head: “Make a move, you idiot!” Probably what she’d say if she were spectating this scene. To find something for your hands to fidget with, you reach for his comforter and pull it closer to you. You could reach out for his hand. Or offer him some of the blanket. Or lean closer to him. The movie’s barely started—you should cool it. You think to yourself and settle into a comfy position and keep your eyes glued to the screen. You can barely hear what’s going on in the movie, though, because your heart is pounding oh so loudly in your ears. Even if you shift just an inch you’ll accidentally brush his leg with your own. Should you say something? Well, you’re watching a movie, after all—

“Sebastian?” You mumble barely louder than a whisper.

“Yeah?”

Without saying another word you reach out for his hand. A silent gesture you hope he understand. Fortunately, he does and gingerly takes your hand in his. Your attention is back on the movie, but not for long. With a shaky chuckle, he asks if he can put his arm around your shoulders. Without saying a word you simply put his arm around you for him and rest your head on his in return. You can hear his heart thumping, or was it yours you were hearing? You hadn’t been this close since you were on the back of his motorcycle, and the anxiety you felt was all the same. Sebastian takes a loud, deep breath, interrupting the ambience of the movie’s audio. “Can I ask you something?”

You don’t get a chance to answer, though. Suddenly, his door flies open and Sebastian startles, retracting his arm back to his side at lightning speed.

“Hey Seb, can I borrow your—” The female voice stops immediately and you feel your ears go red. “Oh, sorry, Y/N. I didn’t realize Seb actually had someone over.”

“Maru! Get out of my room. Now.” Sebastian groans and his sister makes a hasty exit. The door shuts, you swear you hear a light chuckle from behind it, and he sighs. “I’m sorry about that.” You assure him it’s okay, but he still looks rather stiff from his sister’s interruption.

“What did you want to ask me?” You try to move the conversation along and hopefully have him think less about the embarrassment and more about what was eating away at you in this moment.

His breath is labored, but he pushes forward. “You haven’t been to the Flower Dance before, have you?” You shake your head. “Well, every spring the town holds this stupid—um, well, I think it’s stupid—dance. There’s a bunch of flowers that Evelyn and some of the others arrange and it’s supposed to celebrate the spring season and hope for a bountiful harvest or whatever. Well, there’s this dance we all had to learn, and we have to get all dressed up and—” he catches your curious gaze on him and he audibly gulps. “Sorry, I’m rambling now…” He goes to spin the ring on his finger and you take both of his hands in his, giving an encouraging squeeze. “Anyway, this dance is a partner dance. I was wondering—”

“Sebby, have you seen my toolbox? It’s not in the garage.” Robin bursts through his door.

Sebastian swiftly lets go of your hands and hides his face in his. “Mom!”

Robin’s footsteps pause and her eyes dart between you and her son. “Oh! I didn’t know you had a guest. You’re usually holed up in here alone on rainy days. Hello, Y/N.” She greets in mom fashion and you give an embarrassed wave in return. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your movie,” she glances at the TV, which was still playing the movie the two of you had picked out, “I’ll bother you later, Sebby.” She waves goodbye and closes the door behind her.

Sebastian drags his hands down his face and lets out a frustrated groan. It takes him a second to collect himself but he shakes his head and focuses back on you. “I’m going to kill the next person that walks through that door.” You giggle to ease the tension and he takes your hands in his again. His hands were shaking and you rubbed circles with your thumb against his skin. It was obvious what he was about to ask, and it made you giddy inside just thinking about it. You had promised Leah that if he didn’t ask you, you would have to ask him, so this was going to happen one way or another. “As I was saying—”

Thud!

His bedroom door slams open once more and Sebastian glares over his shoulder at the perpetrator. The fire of frustration edging towards rage flared in his gaze. You couldn’t help but burst out laughing, and fell forward into him. The room is silent, save for your giggles, but it’s broken by Sebastian’s icy voice. “Samson.”

“Point taken. I’ll see myself out.” You hear your cousin’s voice 

“Good.”

The door shuts for, hopefully, one last time. Your giggles subside and when you see Sebastian’s disappointed face you quickly sit up straighter. “I’m sorry, that was perfect timing, though.”

“Will you be my dance partner at the flower dance?” He spits out, his grip tightening around your hands. With another gentle stroke of your thumb you draw another slow circle on his skin. The smile on your face goes from that of laughter to a more gentler and serene one.

Your heart flutters. “I would love that.”

Sebastian lets out a sigh of relief and rests his head forward on top of yours. It would be your first Flower Dance ever, with the one person you’d want to share a dance with. “Oh,” he sits back up, “there’s a dance routine you’ll have to learn.”

“Leah and Abby already forced me to learn it.” You grimace at the memory from the previous day. Sebastian’s shoulders sink slightly. “Everything okay?”

“I was hoping to teach you…” He mumbles much like a child pouting that he didn’t get his way.

“We’ll get our chance to dance, Mr. Impatient.” You poke his chest playfully and he swats it away. A playful smirk crosses your face and you start to poke all around his sides, eliciting a reactive jerk from the ticklish spots you’ve disturbed. He protests, trying to dodge your attacks but with what little room he has on the bed and under the covers it’s nearly impossible. Sebastian manages to grab your wrists in the struggle and holds them down so you can’t torture him any longer.

“Gotcha!” He returns with a barrage of pokes to your sides and you squeal a little too loud at one point.

“Stop it!” You giggle and successfully grab his wrists just like he did and feel his attacks let up. When you open your eyes you feel his gaze settle on you and you both freeze in that position. If either of you were to lean in just a little closer, you would feel his warm breath on your skin. The beating of your heart pounds in your chest as you carefully lace you fingers with his, ready to let go if he doesn’t feel comfortable with your advances. He’s hesitant, but you feel his fingers relax around your hands. Then you lean closer to him, slower than molasses, eyes darting to his lips.

Your lips almost brush, but he pulls back.“I—I gotta get our clothes from the dryer.” And just like that he’s let go of your hands and is darting out the room. Maybe he wasn’t quite ready for that much excitement quite yet. Disappointing, yes, but not the end of the world. You weren’t an official couple yet, after all, so you shouldn’t expect much yet. It still slightly stings, though. The memory of him kissing you after your concert date flashes through your mind and you feel the butterflies return as well as a small smile. “Here.” Sebastian returns, interrupting your trip down memory lane, with your clothes and lets you have the room to change. Upon his return he has a tight-lipped and regretful smile. “I hate to kick you out, but I do still have some work to get caught up on.” You nod. “I should be done before the Flower Dance, though.” He adds quickly and sees you to the door. “I, uh, hope you had fun today, Farmer.”

“I did. We’ll have to try and catch some more frogs next time it rains.”

Sebastian’s face lights up at this. “Of course. I’d love that.” You wave goodbye and grab your umbrella from where it was hanging on a hook by the front door. The rain causes your heart to drop. Even if it was for a little bit, you forgot how it normally felt on rainy days. The memory of your days with your father were returning in waves. The umbrella opens and the pitter patter of each raindrop against the cloth brings you back to the reality you were living before. The one where memories of dad incessantly haunt you. 

“Wait,” Sebastian calls out before you can start walking off. As you look back you feel his lips on your cheek and with a quick “bye” he shuts the door behind him.

And for a brief moment you felt the warmth in your heart return, and the memories of today with it.

Chapter Text

You take one final look at yourself in the mirror and sigh. No matter how many times Emily (who altered the dress you got from Abby), Abby (who did your makeup), or Leah (who did your hair), had said it, you didn’t feel comfortable with the image you saw in front of you. You hadn’t willingly worn clothes this bright since, well, you were a teenager. The person you saw in the mirror seemed like a stranger to you. You fiddled with the corsage on your wrist, rubbing the strands of ribbon between your thumb and index finger erratically.

Leah places a flower crown atop your head and giggles with glee. “You look so great, Y/N! You’ll be the talk of the town once again.” That was the last thing you wanted. It was stressful and annoying enough when you first moved in; you didn’t want to live through that again. Seeing how uncomfortable you were with that, she leans in closer and whispers playfully, “You’ll definitely have your little emo boy’s attention the whole time.”

“Leah!” You hide your face behind your hands. Even if you had both confirmed the two of you shared the same feelings, you still got rather flustered whenever anyone brought it up.

Your friend pats your shoulders and whisks off towards her front door. “If Abby’s ready to go, I think we should head out. We don’t want to be late, after all.” She gives you a knowing look and you roll your eyes. She’d been waiting for the moment to finally see you with Sebastian, but you could tell she was also pretty excited.

“Just give me a… second…” Abby’s voice trails off as she applies the finishing touches to her makeup, “There! Done.” The three of you put your shoes on and walk to the open field just west of the Cindersap Forest where the festival is held. Abby leads the way and Leah tries to hype you up the entire walk there. Why were you so nervous? You’ve already spent lots of time together, went on an actual date, and, hell, even kissed a few times already. Making it public with the town was definitely daunting. Everyone would know now, if they didn’t already. People in Pelican Town were pretty good at finding out gossip one way or another.

You were lost in your thoughts the entire way, and eventually the three of you make it to the clearing. There are several barrels and pots full of flowers surrounding the open field, and many of the townspeople are already chatting or getting refreshments. Whatever Gus has cooked up this time, it smells amazing as the aroma of food wafts its way towards your nose. You look around and look for your family. You spot Sam’s vibrant blonde hair from across the clearing over by a tree. You could guess who he’s talking to, but you think you should greet the rest of your family before hanging out with Abby and the boys.

Before you set off to greet your aunt and uncle, you notice Leah’s posture has changed and her eyes are set on a familiar figure on the other side of the open field. It was Elliott, the town’s other starving artist. Instead of paints and sculptures, Elliott’s chosen medium was words. You’d never read any of his work, but he had attempted to chat your ear off any time he had the chance. Most of the other residents, including yourself, just smiled and nodded as he rambled on about the novel he plans on writing but Leah always listened intently. She teased you about Sebastian and you in turn teased her about Elliott.

“You should go say hi.” You nudge her with your elbow and she side eyes you. “Think of it as payback.” Before she can say anything else you call out to Elliott and wave him down. He has caught sweet Evelyn in a conversation and looks over to you and Leah. Returning the wave, he excuses himself from his conversation and strolls across the clearing towards you and Leah. “Have fun.” You tease and run off to your aunt and uncle to avoid her protests.

You shuffle away and greet your aunt and uncle with a bit more energy than anticipated. “Hey Aunt Jodi! Hi—” Your uncle suddenly puts Jodi behind him and holds up a defensive hand up at you. You cower back and see the look of pure panic in Uncle Kent’s eyes. His shoulders heave and his breath is labored even though he was only standing still just a moment ago. Whatever Uncle Kent sees is a threat and not his niece. Your aunt is trying to get him to come to his senses but he’s stuck in fight or flight.

Up until this moment you’d always believed that your uncle would never hurt you.

It takes a moment, but eventually he comes to his senses and blinks a few times while looking towards you. The realization of what he just did hits him and his shoulders slump. “I-I’m sorry, Y/N. Open fields like this… make me nervous.” You weren’t sure how to respond. The fear that just flashed through your body put you into a panicked state, but you knew Uncle Kent didn’t mean any harm. You didn’t have much time to think, because someone puts an arm around your shoulder and guides you away from the scene.

You look over to see Sam’s face laced with a twinge of worry; something you rarely experienced with his normal happy-go-lucky demeanor. “Sorry about that. Pops has been a little different since he came back from the war…” His voice trails off but he quickly replaces his somber look with his golden smile. “I’m glad you made it, though. You look great!” The two of you walk over to the tree where Abby and Sebastian are chatting, and rather stiffly, at that, from the looks of their posture. Either Sebastian was just generally anxious or things were still a bit awkward between the two. Both were very possible.

When Sebastian looks up to see you and Sam approaching he smiles widely, prompting Abby to turn around and give a wave. You lock eyes with your dance partner and can’t help but mirror his eager and infectious smile. The two of you are brought out of your dream-like exchange when Sam pushes you forward, causing you to trip and barrel right into Sebastian. “Tell my cousin how pretty she looks.” Sam gives a loud pat of Sebastian’s shoulder, who in turn looks back at you.

“You look beautiful.” He mutters only for your ears, adjusts your crooked flower crown for you, and helps you bring your balance back by taking your hand in his and gently guiding you until your feet are flat on the ground once again.

“You too. I mean—You also look nice. Not that guys can’t look pretty too… I’ll shut up now.” You almost go for a face palm but remember all the make up on your face. Sebastian’s chest rumbles with a low chuckle and it looks like he’s about to say something else, but stops himself. You remember Abby and Sam are also still standing close by before you turn back to the others, still holding Sebastian’s hand.

Sam smiles widely. “There’s still some time before the dance starts. We can go get some snacks; I’m sure Gus has cooked up yet another good meal.” He pulls Abby along and the two start to playfully bicker about who knows what.

The four of you chat for a few minutes near the refreshment table; laughing at Sam’s stupid jokes, listening to Abby vent about her online classes, and munching on yummy treats. All the while you catch Haley, Emily’s younger sister, give you the iciest of glares. If you were to guess, it was probably the flower crown atop your head; she also had one. The few interactions you had with Haley mostly included her remarks of disgust on the mud all over you, comments about your (lack of) fashion, and how much she hated living in Pelican Town. You didn’t want to get caught in her crosshairs, so when Mayor Lewis had called the dancers to get set up you hastily pulled Sebastian along to your starting positions for the dance.

Mayor Lewis’ words melted into the background as the two of you stared at each other. Well, it was more you were staring at him and he was avoiding your eyes like his life depended on it. No, he wasn’t necessarily avoiding your eyes, he was frantically looking around while stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“Psst.” You try to get his attention. Nothing. You try again with another low whisper while Lewis yaps away. “Hey.” His eyes still anxiously dart as he fidgets with whatever’s in his pocket. Probably lint or the thread of his pants, no doubt.

“Sebastian.” He finally looks over to you and you give a soft, sweet smile. His breathing still seems a little ragged, but his shoulders slowly relax.

You don’t get much a chance to say or do anything else, because the music starts to play and you notice Sebastian’s posture stiffen. The first part of the dance involves the girls to flourish the skirts of their dresses in time with the music and then twirl, so you focus on the memories of practicing the dance with Abby and Leah. Then comes the part where the guys move forward towards the line of girls. You see Sebastian stumble a bit but despite his fumble he seems rather good on his feet, unlike poor Alex.

The music continues on, and you hear the cue for your line to move forward. The closer you move toward Sebastian the more you feel your heart rate grow. Less from nervousness and more from excitement. You’d been looking forward to this moment ever since he’d asked you to be his dance partner. Now it was time to begin the partner dance. You hold your hand up and Sebastian presses his palm against yours before you two walk in a circle while still pressing each other’s hands together. A spark of electricity courses through your body as your skin touches. His fingers twitch for a moment and you feel his muscles in his hand flex with hesitation. You slip your fingers between his and gently rub your thumb against his hand and give a reassuring squeeze as you go into another twirl.

The rest of the dance goes well, with Sebastian feeling more relaxed than when it had started, and the other festivities go off with a hitch. After the partner dance routine, Mayor Lewis thanks Evelyn for arranging all the flowers but also you for providing some. You try to make light of it, since you’d only donated a couple bundles of tulips, but your neighbors applaud. With Sam and little Vincent cheering the loudest you feel your face grow flush. It’d been much too long since you felt like you really mattered.

“Miss Y/N has been working her tail off on the old farm and is making progress on getting it back to its former glory.” You give a wave to everyone while glancing at your cousins. “Without further ado, enjoy the rest of your evening.” There were some games for the younger kids, but most of the townspeople socialized or danced to the music that continued. Sam dragged you out for a dance with him, and upon seeing his older brother do it Vince pouted until he got his turn.

The dance ended with a slow tune (this was a lot like your school dances now that you thought of it), and Sebastian tugged on your hand while leaning close to whisper in your ear. “Wanna leave?” You looked on at your aunt and some of the other couples swaying slowly with their partners. Sam was awkwardly dancing with… Penny, of all people. You remembered him having a crush on her when you were growing up, so it seems he finally got the guts to make some sort of move on her. Leah was dancing with Elliott; a drunken smile splayed across her face. And Abby… she was standing on the outskirts with her arms crossed and staring longingly towards your cousin and Penny. You could relate; you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to experience that with Sebastian. He seems to notice your longing look and leans in once more. “Don’t worry, we can dance. I just… have something to show you first.”

The two of you bid your farewells, not without receiving looks of all varieties from your family members and friends, and take your leave. While you walk back towards town, you grasp his hand in yours effortlessly. The amount of times it had happened throughout the day made it feel more natural. “So, what did you want to show me?”

“Uh, well, I was thinking we’d take a ride tonight. It’s been awhile since I last took you out on my bike.”

“I’d love that.” You feel yourself want to bounce on your feet with anticipation and pick up your pace, practically dragging Sebastian behind you. You stop by the house to let Azzie back inside and walk with a hastened pace up the mountain path.

After getting equipped with a helmet you hop on the passenger seat of the bike and wrap your hands around Sebastian’s waist. He turns his head over his shoulder. “Ready?” You nod and without warning he gives a rev of the engine. You jump, squeeze around his waist a little tighter, give him a playful smack, and laugh. “Sorry, that’s my favorite part about my bike.” You can hear his playful smirk beneath the visor and he pushes off.

You’re reminded of your first date - it seemed like ages ago, but only a week or so had passed since the concert. The sight of the rolling hills passing by, the feeling of the wind blowing against the two of you, the fresh country air; it felt like pure freedom. The first time you rode you were much too afraid of letting go of Sebastian but also too afraid of the physical contact needed to help you feel secure on the fast bike. Today was different, though. You felt the thrill of the day’s events coursing through your veins and after throwing your hands above your head you let out an energized scream as if on a roller coaster. After wrapping your hands back around Sebastian’s waist you feel his chest vibrate with a chuckle and the ride continues without any issue.

You’re not sure how much time passes but eventually Sebastian slows down and pulls off to the side of the road. “Everything okay?” You tilt your head.

Sebastian tenses up and sways side to side. “Yeah. I just—uh—have a surprise for you. I need you to keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them, okay?”

“Sure?” You raise a brow, though he can’t really see it behind your helmet visor, and close your eyes. “Okay, they’re closed.”

“No peeking!” He revs the engine of his bike and pulls back onto the desolate road. Keeping your word, your eyes are glued shut as you nuzzle your face into his back. At one point you feel him turn off the road and it feels like the bike is going uphill. It feels a little bumpier than the smooth pavement you were just on, so you guess that you’ve gone off road to some sort of dirt or unpaved path. A couple of the bumps were a little big, so you hold Sebastian a little tighter.

After a few minutes the bike comes to a slow stop and you feel Sebastian park the bike in its current spot. He dismounts, and takes your hands in his as he guides you to only he knows where. He lets go of you and you quickly miss the warmth of his hands around your own.“Okay, open your eyes.” You pull off your helmet and look towards Sebastian’s voice.

And you freeze at the breathtaking view before you. In the horizon you can see the lights of your old home, Zuzu City, in a way you’ve never seen it before. It looked so small from the cliffside that Sebastian had driven you to. A faint halo of light surrounds the city skyline and for a moment you’re able to forget a lot of the painful memories of the city.

“Pretty, right?” You nod. “This is kind of my secret spot. I usually come here on late night rides when I’m feeling stressed or I just need to think.” You understood why; the wind blew a soft breeze at this height, there was little to no sound, and the view was perfect. You could just imagine Sebastian dangling his feet over the edge with a lit cigarette in his mouth, sporting that look of concentration he has whenever he’s working on his computer. Or the look he gets when he feels anxious.

“It’s a very nice ‘secret spot.’” You tear your eyes off the skyline and feel your heart skip a beat when you catch Sebastian staring at you with a soft fondness.

Even after being caught he doesn’t break his smile, that is, until he begins to speak again. “I’ve never really brought anyone else up here.” Sebastian bashfully slouches and averts his gaze.

“I’m glad I get to be the only one who knows.”

“Me too…” he takes both of your hands in his and takes a deep breath. “There’s actually another reason why I brought you out here…” He lets go. “Close your eyes again.” You hear his footsteps slightly fade away towards his bike, listen to the compartment box he had added on this time open and shut, then hear his footsteps return to you. “Okay, you can open now.” Held out in front of you is a beautiful bouquet of brightly colored flowers wrapped up in colored plastic and tied off with a black bow. “I’ve never been much of a flower guy, but,” His voice trails off.

At first you didn’t know what to say. You had always loved flowers and had really only received some from your father on your birthday or other special occasions. “Oh Sebastian, they’re beautiful.” You accept them and admire the different flowers in the bundle. A couple of irises, tulips, pom daisies, and other filler to make it a beautiful ensemble of flowers. When you look back at him he looks slightly disappointed. “Did I say something wrong?”

He quickly shakes his head. “No! I forget, you’re not really from here… Um, here in the Valley, when you’re gifted a bouquet of flowers—I never really cared for this tradition, but—well…” He starts to stutter and fumble on his words. You wait patiently, hoping he’ll get himself out of this anxious stupor. “I really like you, Y/N. I like sitting and doing nothing with you. I like that you’re patient with me. Ever since you moved into town I’ve been looking more forward to stuff outside of work and my room. What I’m trying to say is, um, ugh: Will you be my girlfriend?”

“Yes.” You don’t hesitate for a second after the words leave his mouth.

“Oh thank Yoba…” He mutters under his breath with a shaky chuckle and relaxes his shoulders.

The silence that falls between the two of you is only broken by the slight breeze billowing your hair, dress, and the bouquet of flowers in your hands. Then you remember something. “I believe my boyfriend,” Yoba, that was so good to say out loud, “promised me a dance, yeah?”

“I sure did, and I plan to keep my word.” He chuckles as you place the wrapped bouquet on the seat of his bike and meet him by the cliff side. Without a word he takes one of your hands in his and gingerly places his other on your waist. You rest your free hand on his shoulder and the two of you start to sway to the imaginary tune playing.

The gentle breeze helps to cool both your flushed skin, and you’re glad that not even the lights from the Zuzu skyline can illuminate your face to show how red your cheeks were at this moment. A part of you hoped you’d get used to this feeling; of feeling like a scared rabbit at his touch or with how close you were, but you weren’t sure if that day would ever come.

It was hard to tell how long the two of you were swaying with the wind, sharing each other’s warmth and anxious energy, but eventually Sebastian leans down and rests his forehead on yours. “Hey, Y/N?” His voice is just above the breeze blowing between you and rustling the leaves of the nearby trees.

“Yeah?”

He gently cups your face with his hand and gently strokes your cheek with his thumb. “Can I— Can we—?” His face slowly leans closer to yours and without a word you mirror his movements and close the gap between you two. And, finally, you know how his lips feel against yours. Not just a quick peck on your cheek or your forehead. The feeling you’ve been longing for for much too long has finally come. It’s sweet. It’s electrifying. It almost makes you forget how to breathe, which you only break for a moment to do so before you lock lips once more. His hands rest on your hips and yours on his shoulders as you two sway in a more intimate slow dance than before.

Above you the stars twinkle. The two of you are silhouetted against the lights of Zuzu city as you both swing your legs over the edge of the cliff side. Sebastian’s powder blue coat rests on your shoulders and you lean your head on his shoulder. Oh to be able to sit in this moment forever. If only you could stay still in this moment much like a photograph. Even if you couldn’t, you knew you wouldn’t forget this night for days to come.