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Afterwards, all Bella could remember was the burning. It wasn’t quite fire, more ice; the type of pain you get when you’re plunged into icy water. The type of burn you feel when you put ice to a sprain for a little too long. The numb-burn of too cold, too cold. Every inch of her body felt as though she was being frozen from the inside out, and in a way, she supposes she was.
She burned for so long she thought it might never end. She was helpless against it, unable to move, unable to scream as the icy fire licked through her body. If she focused really hard, she could hear voices around her, she thought she might remember breaking glass and a ballet studio, but those sensations didn’t feel real. They couldn’t possibly be real because they didn’t contain the burn – and the burn seemed as though it had always been there.
Gradually, it eased away from her extremities, leaving her fingers and toes feeling extraordinarily numb. The creeping numbness spread into her arms and legs before settling into her belly. Her poor heart felt as though it was going to burst out of her chest. With the numbness she felt in the rest of her body, she imagined her chest must be lifting her off the table with each beat. It grew more and more desperate, a macabre vibration more than a heartbeat before suddenly stopping.
Everything was eerily silent. Unused to not hearing her pounding heart, Bella wondered if she might ever hear again. She wiggled her toes; she could tell that they were incased in thick socks. They felt soft and well-worn to her skin, which drank in the sensation greedily after feeling nothing but burning for so long. She moved her fingers next, taking in the feeling of scratchy, starched sheets. She could feel where her clothes touched them.
“Bella?” A soft, bell-like whisper broke the silence, causing her to turn her head towards the noise.
She had yet to open her eyes; instead cataloguing the miraculous feeling of stillness in her limbs and the clothes pressing gently against her.
There was an AC unit running somewhere nearby. She could feel the artificially cool air brushing against her, so warm after the burning cold.
She realized that she could hear it too, the groaning shudder that comes from overuse. She could hear other things too; the ticking of a clock, the wind rustling through trees, the calls of birds.
“Bella, love. It’s okay.” The angel whispered again.
Bella knew it was an angel; she knew that she was dead and that only an angel would have a voice so soft, so alluring, so utterly beautiful.
“Open your eyes, love.” It called.
Bella obeyed.
Immediately, her senses were overwhelmed by everything she could see; things she shouldn’t be able to see.
There were dust motes floating above her, each one gently reflecting the sun that managed to creep through the heavy curtains. The sunlight itself seemed to be sentient; cradling the dust as it spun above her. Turning her head, she was met with the sight of the most beautiful woman she could ever remember seeing.
Her hair was inky-black, teetering on blue. It was gently lifted by the air, shuffling the artfully mused style. Her face, pale as bone, was all sharp angles. Her eyes, the warm color of fresh honey seemed to drink her in.
She took a step towards Bella, who, not expecting movement, flew off of the bed and into the corner of the room.
From there, she saw that it was not just the two of them. There was also a man, standing on the far side of the room, looking nervous. His features were as rounded as the girls were angular, his hair a warm blonde and his eyes a dark coal. His skin was covered in luminescent scars, their pearl marking his skin. They criss-crossed and overlapped each other.
Bella was entranced by them; she found herself walking slowly towards him. She reached out and brushed her fingers against one of the scars that marred his face, directly over his right cheekbone.
As her fingers met his skin, a sharp, urgent pull manifested within her chest. Mine. It screamed. Suddenly, she couldn’t get close enough to him, she inhaled sharply and the scent that filled her nose was the best she had ever smelled. It was all leather, summer lightning. Comforting and sharp at the same time. The burn in her throat ignited as air rushed through it but she hardly felt it.
Jasper, her mind whispered. Jasper, mine. Mate.
A tinkling laugh broke the silence and Bella moved across the room to the girl. Raising her hand, she touched her face, feeling the same sensation in her chest. Her scent was just as pleasant, lemongrass and cedar. Mate, her mind provided again. Alice, mine.
“Alice.” Bella stated, remembering speech.
“Bella.” Alice answered, a soft smile playing on her lips.
Gradually, Bella became aware of other scents, further away but just as strong. A clean, fresh rain, pine and warm wood, honey and magnolia, soft rose and lavender, cinnamon and nutmeg.
The last scent was getting stronger; Bella instinctively knew that the owner of said scent was getting closer. Their smell tickled her nose in a way that she didn’t like.
The door opened and Bella bodily lifted Alice from the side of the bed and put her in the corner beside Jasper. She lowered into a crouch and started growling. Her only thought to protect her mates, hers.
The intruder was bronze haired and wiry. Edward, her mind supplied. There were flashes of him in a classroom, a meadow, catching a baseball. She remembered who he was, who he was to her, but more so, she remembered that he wasn’t fast enough.
Warm, sticky anger flooded her when she looked at him, remembering the way that he had sent her away, the way he had promised to protect her from the other vampire. There was another memory there, vague under the burning, but she thought she remembered him biting her, sucking strongly on her wrist.
Vampire. She thought with a start. That's what I am; that's what caused the ice-fire.
“I’m a vampire.” She said, “you – you didn’t protect me. You bit me.”
Her voice was too loud in her ears, a low, bell-like tone that caught her off guard. It was too beautiful, too sensual to have come from her.
From behind her, Jasper laid a hand on her shoulder, emanating calm that did little to stoke the rage within her.
She shook off his hand and took two steps towards Edward.
“Bella,” he started, reaching towards her, “Bella, I’m so sorry. I – I wasn’t fast enough.”
“You bit me.” She stated again.
The other scents were stronger now, she knew even without looking that the rest of the coven had made their way up the stairs. She felt herself stiffen, instinctively reacting to the fact that she and her mates were now outnumbered.
“I’m sorry.” Edward said, reaching out to touch her arm in penance.
Bella pulled away swiftly, stepping back into Jasper’s chest, which was vibrating with a strong, deep growl.
“Don’t you fucking touch her.” Jasper bit out.
“I’m not - no. No. There’s no way!” Edward screeched, his voice grating to Bella’s sensitive ears. “She’s not yours. I turned her, I am her sire! I’m supposed to be her mate.”
Edward stepped forward, grabbing Bella’s arm. Bella hissed and grabbed his hand, hearing bones crunch under her grasp. She tossed his hand away from her, sending him stumbling back.
“No,” she said. “I’m theirs.”
A loud, boisterous laugh cut through the tension, finally bringing Bella’s attention to the others standing just outside the door. The laugh was familiar, softening her anger that was threatening to boil over. Standing in the doorway, Emmett was bent over at the waist, howling with laughter as Rosalie looked upon the scene with barely contained amusement. Behind the two, Carlisle was shuffling from foot to foot, clearly worried about the way the events were unfolding.
Bella raised her eyebrow, silently begging Emmett to tell her what was so funny.
“Dude, she hasn’t even been a vampire for ten minutes and she is already making life more entertaining.” Emmett said.
Bella couldn’t help but to smile at him, even as Edward’s face twisted into a scowl.
Turning back to Edward, Bella said, "I don't know why you're making that face. You did this. You bit me."
“Bella, love, you don’t understand.” Edward started, “I was trying to pull the venom out, but it was too late. It had spread too far. I’m so sorry. I never wanted this for you.”
She leveled him with a scathing look. It was as if the change had pulled the wool from her eyes. She was able to see him for who he truly was; and that was a 100 year old vampire who snuck into her room while she slept. A vampire who had followed her to Port Angeles and watched her from afar, who had encouraged her to isolate herself from her friends, who had consistently patronized and infantilized her all while continuing to pursue a relationship with her.
For the first time since she had met Edward, her head felt clear. She couldn't believe how quickly their relationship had changed her. For her entire life, Bella had been insistent that she wouldn't follow her mother's path. She never wanted to end up married and pregnant before she was able to vote, then flitting from relationship to relationship in her adulthood desperately seeking stability. Bella wanted to go to college, have a career, establish a real and tangible life for herself independent of any relationship. And sure, she wanted to get married - but not before she knew herself first. She had sacrificed her entire childhood to parenting her mother and she desperately wanted an adulthood that was her own. Yet within two months of knowing Edward, all of that had changed. She couldn't believe she had begged him to marry her, to change her. Two days ago she had been so sure that he was the only thing tethering her to the Earth yet when she looked at him now, she felt nothing.
"What did you do to me?" she spat.
"Bella, I didn't do it. I tried to stop it." Edward stated, speaking slowly as if to a scared animal.
"I'm not talking about the change, Edward. I'm talking about before."
She could feel everyone in the room stiffen at her question. From behind her, a low growl began emanating from Jasper's chest. She felt his anger through their newfound bond, along with his suspicion.
"I - I don't know what you mean." Edward insisted.
Bella opened her mouth to retaliate only to be cut off by Edward's head snapping to Carlisle.
"How dare you accuse me of such, Carlisle." he bit out, voice full of righteous anger.
"Oh, Edward. You didn't." Esme softly cried.
Jasper, feeling her confusion explained in a low voice, "Vampires have something called a thrall. It's meant to help us lure in prey. Our scent, our looks, our voices - everything about us is designed to passively draw humans in. The thrall, however, is like a drug to them - its irresistible; it makes them think that our wants are their own. It convinces them that they want to go with us, that they don't want to fight."
Bella was sure if she had any blood in her body, she would have paled at his explanation.
"I never wanted to get married young. I had never even dated before moving to Forks. I - I remember being fascinated by all of you my first day. I remember being obsessed with figuring out what happened that day on the ice, and I remember that first day in biology when Edward sat beside me. Everything after that is overwhelmed by the want. After that night in Port Angeles," she paused, swallowing in an attempt to quench the burn of her oh-so-dry throat, "after Port Angeles, it's like my inhibitions melted away. It's like I was suddenly in love and I couldn't remember what it felt like to not be."
At her words, Rosalie threw herself past Emmett and into the room. She screeched, a high, grating sound of fury, and lunged towards Edward like a wild animal.
Before she made contact, Emmett's arms were wrapped around her waist, pulling her to him as she struggled and kicked. "How dare you! How dare you take her choice away! I'll kill you, you son of a bitch."
Bella was frozen to the spot as the realization of what he had done sank in. He had done so much without her consent - the late night visits, the stalking, the monitoring of her friends' thoughts and conversations - and what she thought she had consented to had been influenced by him. She never had a choice; she was strung along like a junkie looking for their next fix as he wailed about his moral obligation to resist her. It all made sense now and she found it hard to reconcile the conflict within her.
"I'm so sorry, Bella." Edward stated, dropping his eyes to the floor, "I thought that maybe if -"
"Stop. I don't care about what you thought." Bella said.
Rosalie was still struggling in Emmett's arms, spitting insults and profanity at Edward who had backed fully into the corner of the room.
"It's okay, Rosalie," Bella whispered, stepping forward to place her hand on the blonde's arm. "I'm okay. Everything he did led me here; I'll let that be punishment enough."
Taking a deep, unnecessary breath, she turned to her mates, "I'm thirsty."
“Well, darlin’, let’s take care of that then.” Jasper said.
As she ran through the forest, Alice and Jasper by her side, she couldn't help but to think of all the things she had lost. Charlie, Jacob, her new friends at Forks High, she would never be able to see them again. Part of her mourned deeply for the person she had been two weeks ago and she knew that the pain of her losses would only get heavier in the coming weeks. However, as she ran and jumped through the forest with her mates, she couldn't help but be thankful for the things she had gained too.