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Tommy had looked back just in time to see Phil snap.
The feeling that had washed over him was indescribable. All he knew was that he had to get to Phil.
He pushed the decaying corpses off him and began to fly through the air. He shot string after string, but he quickly ran out of things to catch on to. The ships that had been relentlessly firing upon them were falling.
He stumbled, and the jaws of one came down.
Tommy covered his head with his arms. Darkness surrounded him, but the light came back just as quick.
It collapsed around him with the dust left particles in his eyes. He didn’t waste any time, though, too worried about his— mentor? maybe even father?— to do anything else.
If he looked around him, he would’ve realized what was happening, realized what Phil had done.
But he didn’t, so he kept on running.
They were both gone by time he had reached where Phil and Thanos had been.
Fear shot through his body. He quickly stumbled down into the hole, falling over his own two feet.
There! Niki was standing over… someone.
He ran closer, and Niki looked over to him.
She looked sad.
His mind was screaming that something was wrong.
“Where’s Phil?”
He stopped right in front of her. She put a hand on his shoulder, and slowly, she stepped to the side.
Laying there limply was his answer. A sharp gasp made its way out of his throat without his permission.
“Hey mate,” Phil smiled.
He smiled, but it was wrong. It was wrong, because one half of his body was entirely decimated.
It was wrong, because something was very, very wrong with Phil.
“Oh Prime. ”
Tommy rushed to his side, kneeling down right next to him. A hand came up to his cheek in an instant. It gingerly brushed his hair out of his face.
That damned smile stayed on his lips, despite the pain in his eyes.
“You’re gonna be okay, Phil. You’re gonna be okay— “
The hand on his cheek moved to his back and pushed him toward Phil’s chest.
“Hey, hey it’s—“ A cough interrupted Phil’s words. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
Instead of Tommy saying it, Phil was. Why was Phil the one comforting him now?
“Phil!”
Kristin.
She could— She could make it better. She always made everything better.
A tight, choked sob wormed out of his mouth.
“Oh,” Kristin said.
She said, because nothing else could be used to describe the blankness in her voice.
Another hand was put on his back. It guided him upwards, and he followed with it.
He was a follower, not a leader. He didn’t know what to do. He just wanted someone to make it better.
Why couldn’t someone make it better?
The stones—
He looked around, and found them on Phil’s hand. Phil’s ruined hand.
He finally realized what was happening.
No human was supposed to hold all the stones. And now, Phil was paying the price.
Kristin leaned down and hugged her husband. They spoke quietly; he couldn’t hear what they exchanged.
Someone pulled them into their chest.
He thinks he might’ve been Techno.
“Phil you promised.”
He leaned farther into Techno’s chest. A hand came up to cradle his head.
“Someone get a medic!” Someone screamed. He thinks it was Puffy. “Why aren’t we doing anything? Help him!”
“It’s too late.”
Techno’s gruff voice sounded overhead. He looked up, tears making his vision blur.
If he looked closer, he would’ve seen Techno crying too.
“Techno—“ his voice wavered.
He didn’t know why he was saying his name.
He didn’t even know what was happening anymore.
No, he wanted to scream. There was still time, there had to be somebody who could fix this.
Tommy was good at lying, especially to himself.
“Kid, calm down.”
The hand stroked his hair carefully. If it were any other time, he would’ve pushed it off.
“Tommy.” Techno moved his head off his chest, prompting him back to the scene that was already burned into his mind.
“Kiddo, it’s going to be okay.” Phil was speaking, so he looked over to him. That same stupid smile was plastered on his face.
It was still on his face.
Fuck— he should be the one comforting him. He was the one dying, after all.
It hit him like a ton of bricks at that moment.
Phil was dying.
A strangled sob wormed its way out of his throat.
Phil’s eyes unfocused from him, staring off to something beside him. A weary breath shook his body.
“Tell Chyanne that I love him three thousand.”
He was talking to Kristin again, but he was still looking off to the distance. Tommy wanted to turn and see what he was staring at, but Techno was holding him in place. The grip on his arm was tight, like he was afraid he was going to do something.
And his gut told him Phil wasn’t looking at anything.
“Keep them all safe.” He was talking to Techno now.
“…I promise.”
( Nobody noticed how Techno hesitated, but that story is for a different time. )
“Tommy.” Phil addressed him again. “Don’t do anything I would do.”
He stared blankly back, grief making him unable to speak. Phil’s smile finally dimmed at his silence.
“Okay,” finally made its way out of his vocal box. It was so waterlogged that no one could understand it, though.
Phil grimaced. A cough and a sputter left him breathing heavily.
It was as if he couldn’t breathe at all.
“Where is he—“
Wilbur was here now, he realized belatedly.
“Gone. Thanos is gone.”
The words were spoken solemnly.
Thanos was gone, but at what cost?
Billions— no, trillions — had been saved, but at what cost?
He closed his eyes and tipped his head downwards.
“Then why are we all…”
Wilbur trailed off, finally seeing him.
“Phil? You okay, bud?”
By how he didn’t speak again, he had realized that Phil wasn’t making it out of this one.
Silence fell over them all, only being broken by Phil’s sparse breathing and the sobs of the mourners.
“Keep my—“ a cough interrupted him.
Tommy opened his eyes. Phil’s own pair had refocused again, looking over the group.
“Keep my sons safe for me.”
Kristin smiled softly.
How were they smiling?
“It’s okay, Phil.”
Phil wasn’t even smiling anymore.
(He knew what was coming.)
“It’s okay, you can rest now,” Kristen’s voice wavered.
“We won,” Tommy whispered. He didn’t care if nobody other than himself heard it. “We won, dad.”
Phil’s breathing was getting sparser and sparser, and his eyes were fluttering. Kristin leaned in and put her head on his chest. He put his hand on her arm and gripped it.
The grip was visibly weak, but it meant that the moment he was truly gone, it showed.
Tommy didn’t think he would ever be able to burn the image of Phil’s hand going limp.
He didn’t think he could ever erase the memory of Phil’s arc reactor finally turning off.
The green glow flickered. It went quiet.
The water from the bay was the only thing he heard, with the waves lapping against the ruins.
And then he heard sniffles. And then, he heard gut-wrenching sobs.
It took him a moment to realize that it was him.
Techno pulled him back in, with his arms wrapping around him tightly. Wilbur leaned into the hug too, peppering him with words of comfort.
Tommy didn’t listen.
All he could think about was the way he had just lost a father for a second time.
━━･❀༄･━━
They were all sat on the couch together. Kristin looked pretty put together, but last night, he had seen her break down.
It hurt him to see how she hid everything from him.
It hurt him to see Phil not there to comfort her.
That was another thing— the whole five years. He had never thought that Phil would live out on a lake. There wasn’t enough hustle and bustle for a guy who usually was in the middle of everything.
And then, he met Chyanne.
He definitely hadn’t expected Phil to have a son.
When he had been introduced to him, he had only offered him a few words. A knowing look had passed between the two, despite the fact that one of them was a four-year-old.
Now, they were waiting for Phil to start talking.
“ Nobody’s probably going to see this. ”
The blue projection was sat in an unoccupied chair. Beside it stood a real person— Foolish. He was the only one who knew about the recordings that Phil made, so he had been the one to present it to them.
It hurt to see Phil.
It had only been a week, but it seemed like it had been forever.
Sleepless nights paired with days of planning, hugs, and many, many tears left him exhausted and drained.
Tommy didn’t think he had any tears left to cry.
“ But I’ll make one anyway. ”
Phil paused for a moment, thinking about what to say.
“ I figured out time travel. ”
Techno and Wilbur had explained what had happened to him a few days later. They still didn’t know why Phil had joined them, but he had done exactly what he was reporting.
“ It was pretty simple actually.”
Leave it to Phil to figure out something scientists had been struggling on for years in less than a minute. Tommy smiled slightly, but it quickly fell.
An agent had told him that Phil wouldn’t want him to be sad, but it had only served to piss him off.
“ I just needed a motivator. Someone… ” Phil trailed off, and now he looked sad. “ Someone I missed enough to save. ”
Kristin placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.
She had shown him a photo they kept by the sink. It was him and Phil, with the latter looking much more excited about the signed Craft Internship paper they were holding up.
He remembered that day vividly. It was the first time Phil had given him a hug. He could feel the phantom of a tight hold around him if he really tried.
Tommy hadn’t truly realized how much Phil cared until he was gone.
“ If this goes wrong, I don’t know what I’m going to do. But, you know what? ”
Phil was smiling again.
It was that damned smile that always left him feeling reassured. Phil always made him feel better, but this time, he wasn’t here.
He would never be here again.
“ I think everything’s going to turn out just fine. ”
And then, quieter, as if it were just for himself, Phil whispered: “ I don’t know what I’ll do if it doesn’t. ”
Phil got up, walking over to his mask slowly, which was what he was recording on.
Tommy briefly wondered what else was on that. How many other ‘what if’ recordings were on his drive. But then, Phil was speaking again.
He was staring right at where Chyanne was sitting— it was extremely eiere, how he was staring exactly at him.
It was as if he knew how the three would sit on the couch together.
“ I love you three thousand. ”
Chyanne leaned further into Kristin, and the projection flickered off.
Silence enveloped them. A few sniffles echoed in the cozy room, but other than that, no one made a sound.
They all missed him.
Years ago, Phil would’ve just been another billionaire. He was lonely. Cold. Selfish. All the typical billionaire traits.
But now, there was an entire room of people here, and soon, there was going to be an entire group of people outside together. They were all here for the same reason— they were mourning.
“He left some notes, but we can read those either now or with the will reading,” Foolish informed.
Everyone looked to Kristin. She looked overwhelmed by the sudden decision, but took a shaky breath and stood up.
“There will be more people present at the reading of his will, so that will be a better time.” She dusted off a bit of her dress. “I’d like to talk with my family first, though.”
It was a dismissal, and one Tommy was glad for. There were a few agents in the room that made him slightly uncomfortable.
Someone he had been recently introduced to but forgot his name leaned over to Kristin, asking her if she was okay. She nodded like she always did when somebody asked her that. But Tommy would be a hypocrite if he pointed it out, so he kept his mouth shut.
Kristin leaned down and took Chyanne’s hand, and began to lead him over to the other side of the house. It was where most of the people who had opted not to watch the recording had gone to.
Tommy started to make his way over to the stairs, so he could go lay down for a bit. He wasn’t going to stick his nose where it didn’t—
“Tommy? Where are you going?”
Kristin held out a hand for him.
Okay, so he had definitely misunderstood his standings in the closeness meter.
He pointed up the stairs, confused. “I was—“
“Niki made some cookies.”
Tommy blinked. He was sure his confusion showed as clear as day on his face.
“Tommy.” Kristin brought her hand up to cup his cheek. It reminded him of the way Phil had.
“You are always going to be apart of this family. No matter how it changes, you are always welcome at this house.”
He opened his mouth, trying to find something to say, but couldn’t. He didn’t know how to respond to that.
Yes, he considered Phil and Kristin as parental figures— in fact, Phil had even called him ‘son’ before. But he didn’t know if that applied the same way to Kristin.
He hadn’t know that he was family.
So, tentatively, he took Kristin’s outstretched hand and followed her into the kitchen. And when he caught Chyanne staring up at him, he offered a small wave.
It was an olive branch, one he desperately hoped the other took ahold of. He had been in a similar situation as the kid. He knew the feeling of confusion and remembered asking when his parents were coming to pick him up.
But he also remembered the way he had felt when everybody had treated him like he didn’t understand what was going on. Obviously, he hadn’t fully, but he knew what had happened to a certain extent.
Getting treated like a broken piece of glass wasn’t fun, especially when you’re a snarky five-year-old. He didn’t want Chyanne to have a similar experience.
The somber atmosphere went away as soon as they entered the other side of the house. There were a lot of people that he hadn’t known Phil was related to. Chyanne had quite a few cousins, all around the same age. He had forgotten most of their names, unfortunately, but they had remembered his.
Apparently, Phil had talked about him. A lot.
The knowledge had left him feeling embarrassed, but they had assured him that it was all in good manner. One of them— he was pretty sure his name was Forever— had told him how one of his qualities had shined through in every story. Selfless.
Tommy didn’t really consider himself selfless. Maybe a little selfish, but not selfless.
Apparently, Phil had seen him as so.
The thought had made his stomach tie up into a knot.
( “I just want to be like you!” Tommy had cried out, trying to salvage the mess he had made.
“Well, I wanted you to be better.”
The words cut through his skin like a knife. He stepped back a bit. Phil sighed, like what he was about to do was physically painful.
“Give me back my suit.”
“What?”
Phil held out his hand. “You’re too reckless . I can’t have you out here doing this.”
“Wait— Sir, please.”
…In the end, had he been better?)
“Tommy!”
Arms wrapped around his waist. They hoisted him up into the air, causing an ungodly screech to exit his mouth.
He caught sight of brunette hair and sighed. Wilbur loved to pick him up, and once he did, he didn’t put him down until he got what he wanted.
Silently, he cursed out the people who took one look at Wilbur and decided he was good super soldier material. He shouldn’t have ever been given the power to be able to lift him up into the air like he weighed nothing.
“Put me down, bitch!”
Only then did he think about the children in the room.
“Language!” someone screamed, and he sighed again. Kristin gave him a stern look, but something danced in her eyes, and she seemed to be holding back laughter.
“This should be illegal,” he pouted. He could practically feel Wilbur’s smug smile from here.
“No, gremlins need to be detained,” the brunette said matter-of-factly.
“I am not a gremlin,” he grumbled.
“Fine, you’re a raccoon.”
“ Am not! ”
“Wilbur, put him down,” Kristin scolded. If he imagined hard enough, that was Phil talking. That was Phil, telling Wilbur and Techno off for messing with him.
His grip on Wilbur’s shoulder tightened. He was too caught up in nostalgia that he didn’t even notice when he was deposited back onto the ground.
“Hey, you okay?” Wilbur lowered his voice to a whisper. He thought about the question for the moment, and then considered lying, even though Wilbur would see right through it.
But he was tired. So unbelievably tired.
“Not really.”
Wilbur pulled him in again, but this time for a hug. He accepted it graciously— Wilbur hugs were some of the best, after Techno’s and Phil’s.
Wilbur hugged him for a moment too long, but he let him have it. Wilbur hadn’t been blipped, and hadn’t seen him in over five years until the battle. None of them had. It had provided some awkward experiences, like the shock of Techno’s bright pink hair.
He remembered the way the two had held him for what seemed like hours after it had all been done. They had dotted on his injuries, and when they had found out he had a concussion, they had been livid. The two were probably excessively overprotective, but he didn’t mind.
When Wilbur finally let go, he ruffled his hair. He smacked the hand away, like he always did, and immediately went to smooth down his locks.
A timer went off, and Niki pulled something out of the oven. The smell of fresh baked goods wafted through the room— the cookies were done.
Tommy pushed Wilbur to the side and went over to the island to snatch up a sweet. Niki shot him a look, but he ignored it.
It was hot in his fingers, and he knew if he bit into it, the cookie would burn his mouth. He didn’t particularly care, though. It was incredibly soft, and the chocolate chips were already melting in his hand.
Next to him, a hand reached up onto the counter, obviously trying to grab one as well. They were just a tad too short to actually get anything.
He looked to his side to find Chyanne.
They connected eyes again.
Tommy reached over to the rack and pulled one off for him. “Be careful,” he warned. “It’s hot.”
He placed it in Chyanne’s outstretched hands. He quickly pulled it to his mouth and bit in.
“Tommy, you’re such a bad influence,” Kristin sighed. She crouched down next to her son. “You gotta wait for them to cool first, unlike somebody. You’re gonna burn your tongue.”
Chyanne took a bite anyway, and immediately grimaced.
“You’ll get used to it,” Tommy whisper-shouted. Kristin shot him a look like Niki had, disapproval shining in her eyes.
“Thank you,” Chyanne smiled. Tommy returned it.
The two sat on the island chairs next to each other. They didn’t add to the conversations going on above them. It was silent in their part of the world.
From then on, the two got closer and closer. Tommy watched over the kid with a careful eye while enabling and spoiling him.
Nothing was going to happen to him as long as Tommy was around to protect him. He owed it to Phil to try.
They stood next to each other at the funeral. He helped babysit him and his cousins at the reception. He gave him extra sweets when his mother wasn’t looking, and dealt with the sugar rush that followed.
Tommy was nowhere close to being alright. He didn’t think he ever would be— Phil had made such a large impact in his life in such a short amount of time.
But maybe one day, far off in the future, he could be better. It could be better.
Maybe one day, the hurt will ease, and he could go throughout his day without breaking down at the sight of murals and news articles.
But that day is not today.
And that’s alright.
Today, Tommy got up a little early.
He quietly tip-toed down the stairs, taking great care in not disturbing anyone.
He tugged on his shoes and opened the screen door, wincing when it creaked. He stepped outside and shut the door behind him slowly.
The forest was alive around him.
Passerines chirped in the trees, with fledglings getting ready for their first flight. Hummingbirds zipped around, never stilling long enough for him to get a good look.
He walked down the hill, making his way to the wooden dock.
Somewhere, there was probably a paddleboard or a canoe, but he didn’t feel like searching for them. Instead, he opted to sit down on the edge of the dock and watch.
The tips of his shoes touched the water, and he leaned back so he could look upwards.
The sun made its way up. It cleared the tall trees and shined down on him. It made his face feel warm, and he was sure he was going to get a sunburn if he stayed out for too long.
Ducks swam across the water with their ducklings following close behind. Frogs croaked as they searched for their next meal. Mammals rustled in the bushes.
The forest was alive.
The forest was alive, but Phil wasn’t here to see it this year.
His momentary bliss was forgotten. Suddenly, everything seemed so incredibly bittersweet.
Once, Phil had told him that this was his favourite time of year.
As Tommy thought about it, he decided to enjoy it for him. It brought tears to his eyes, but he quickly pushed them away.
For now, he allowed himself to be happy.
The moment was over all too soon for his liking. He heard a temper-tantrum coming from inside— unfortunately, it had become a familiar sound over the past few days.
The blonde sighed and kicked at the water, scaring a nearby fish. He got up reluctantly and started to make his way back, following the smell of breakfast and the screams of a child.
He stopped before he opened the door. He got a weird feeling all of a sudden— something was watching him.
Tommy looked down to the dock.
A crow stared back.
“ The culmination of love is grief, and yet we love despite the inevitable. We open our hearts to it... To grieve deeply is to have loved fully. Open your heart to the world as you have opened it to me and you will find every reason to keep living in it. "
-Faye, God of War: Ragnarök