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Not once would Atsushi ever think he’d be happy- overjoyed- to see Akutagawa. If someone had told him that one day he’d be running towards Akutagawa and hugging him with the same tightness, relief, and care that he held Kyouka with after the Guild battle, he’d think they were the stupidest person alive.
But here he was, on the ground with Akutagawa in his arms, holding him like a lifeline as tears streamed down his face.
“What the hell are you doing, fool?” Akutagawa rasped, though he made no effort to free himself from Atsushi’s grasp. In fact, it almost seemed like he was leaning into Atsushi. Perhaps he was just weak from… everything that happened.
“Who the hell are you calling “fool”, dumbass?!” Atsushi snapped back, releasing Akutagawa from his hold to glare at the mafioso’s face. The face that, while bruised and dirty, was free of fangs and those dark, empty eyes. The face that was currently blurred through tears because it gave such an overwhelming sense of relief. The face that Atsushi wanted to punch because the owner of said face was a fucking idiot. “I-I saw you die! You died and… and saved me…”
Atsushi slumped, resting his forehead on Akutagawa’s shoulder while his shaky hands gripped the back of his shirt, “Why the hell would you do that?”
“...It was for the greater good,” Akutagawa mumbled, “That was the best possible outcome in that situation.”
Atsushi wanted to argue against that, he wanted to yell at Akutagawa more, he really wanted to punch him. At this point, though, the adrenaline had drained completely and Atsushi was just tired. He was tired and could only bring himself to keep holding onto the man in his arms. “You’re stupid…”
“Tch, that’s all you can say? How childish.” Atsushi felt Akutagawa turn his head, his cheek pressing against the back of Atsushi’s head. “Were you really that upset seeing me die? I thought you hated me.”
Atsushi shot his head up to glare at Akutagawa again. He opened his mouth to protest– …Protest? Didn’t he hate Akutagawa? He surely did at some point; Akuatagwa had done awful things to both Atsushi and his loved ones. But now… it was all too confusing, so Atsushi deflected, “I could say the same about you. You hate me, I’m sure, and yet that wasn’t the first time you’ve saved me. You dragged me off the Moby Dick when it was about to crash.”
“Like I said, for this situation, it was for the greater good,” Akutagawa glared right back.
“And during the Moby Dick crash?”
“...” Akutagawa shifted his gaze to the side, “It would be pointless to let you die to someone or something other than me.”
For some reason, Atsushi felt oddly flustered by that, “We-Well you can’t kill me if you’re dead! You also can’t keep your promise like that! So don’t you dare do something like that ever again!”
“You can’t hold up your end of the deal if you die either, so don’t be a reckless fool and let someone else take your life.”
“You have no right to call me reckless!”
“Yes I do.”
“No you don’t!”
They slipped into incoherent bickering, their voices overlapping to the point where Atsushi himself wasn’t sure of what was being said. It escalated to a point where Atsushi grabbed the collar of Akutagawa’s shirt, twisting it in his fist as he tugged the bastard towards him and… kissed him. Well, it wasn’t quite a kiss. It was more like he smashed their mouths together like an odd headbutt. There was way more teeth than there should be in a kiss and probably a bit of blood.
Akutagawa grabbed Atsushi’s shoulders in a bruising grip, but he didn’t push Atsushi away. Instead he just held Atsushi there as their mouth-to-mouth fight turned into a more proper kiss– a sloppy one, but still more of a kiss than it was a moment ago.
They eventually parted, their grips on each other loosening. They were still close enough that they could feel each other’s heavy breaths on their lips. Suddenly, Atsushi’s half-lidded eyes shot wide open and he scrambled away from Akutagawa, covering his mouth. What the hell did he just do?!
“Why are you surprised?!” Akutagawa snapped, his blush clear on his pale cheeks, “You kissed me! What the hell was that?!”
“I… I…” Atsushi stuttered stupidly, “...That was my first kiss…”
Akutagawa clicked his tongue, glaring to the side, “It was mine too. You’re not special.”
It was silent after that with Atsushi trying to process what he did and Akutagawa seeming to try to will away his embarrassment and burning blush. Finally, Atsushi broke the silence by blurting out the realization he had at that moment.
“I don’t think I hate you.”
“Obviously.”
Silence again.
“Well?!” Atsushi snapped.
“What?!”
“What about you?! Do you hate me or not?!”
Akuatagwa looked taken aback by the question, making an odd noise in the back of his throat. The pair stared at each other, Atsushi’s gaze stubborn with a hint of anxiety and Akutagawa looking more conflicted than anything. Eventually, the mafioso let out an awkward cough and avoided Atsushi’s eyes.
“I suppose… not as much as I thought.”
“...Mm.”
With neither of them knowing what to do with their discoveries, they quietly agreed to just move on and search to reunite with their respective organizations. They walked side by side silently, though the tension was unbearably thick and weighed heavily on them. After a while, Atsushi hesitantly brushed his knuckles against Akutagawa’s.
“Hey,” He started, his voice barely above a whisper as he stared at the ground, “I’m really happy… that you’re alive…”
Akutagawa didn’t respond for a few seconds before he bumped Atsushi’s knuckles back, “Same to you, I guess you’re not as stupid as I thought.”
Atsushi felt the corners of his mouth twitch up against his will, “Fuck off…”