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Katsuki was going to do it, and he had no idea how he got to that point. Maybe it had been building up. People don't just decide to kill themselves out of nowhere, do they? Well, he knows he didn't because for the last two weeks he was planning everything.
The notes.
One for Izuku
One for his mom
One for his dad
One for Mr. Aizawa
And one for Kirishima.
He felt as if he owned it to them, a final apology and goodbye for all he did.
Katsuki wasn't sure if his mom and dad were home, and quite frankly, as long has they didn't find him until it was done, he didn't care. He put noise canceling headphones on and put on his favorite songs. He didn't feel like dying to the sound of him gasping for air and a swinging rope. He's not completely sure why he's doing this. He was happy after all (was he really?)
He stood on the chair listening to music building up the nerve, an icky feeling growing in his gut, cold sweat forming. He thought about everything. He knew people would be sad, hell, his parents would be heartbroken, but it wasn't his problem anymore. They would be better without his loud, rude, annoying ass anyways. He left a note for his teacher to apologize for wasting his time and being a little shit, and basically the same for his parents. Katsuki hated who he was. He thought he would have to suffer in silence forever but 2 weeks ago he realized. He didn't have to. He thought about the times he was a sobbing mess at 4 in the morning and the feeling of dragging a razor across his skin and watching the red beads form and then slowing fall down his arm and drip onto his nightstand, then guilt and shame he felt as he panicked on how to hide them. Katsuki was smart. He figured it out. Most of what he wore covered his forearms anyways.
He had cleaned his room up to be nice and tidy and hoped his parents appreciated it as a last gift. He hoped they thought he was tidy just because. Everything was ready for his parents to sell. He took his all might merchandise and put it in a shoe box labeled "for Izuku." It had his letter, all might merch he had but Izuku didn't, a playlist of their favorite songs, and a few pictures of them through their childhood and high school years. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he hadn't noticed the muffled noise of his mom knocking at the door asking him if he wanted dinner. What he did do what lock the door. That made his mom worry a bit more. The next few minutes are a blur, he remembers a hand yanking him off the chair so hard, he probably got whiplash. He sees his mom and dad in the doorway in shock. His dad is using the door frame to hoist himself up and his mother has lowered herself to his level on the floor, holding his shoulders asking him questions with tears. Tears. Katsuki notices his face feels wet. He's brought back to reality.
He's met with his mother holding him as tightly as she can as if he would fade away. His father is on the floor sitting with his glasses off using his hand to hide his tears. Katsuki realizes he's crying; his lips start to quiver as he realizes what's happening. His parents caught him. Trying to end his fucking life. God he really was a weak loser. What type of idiot can't plan their suicide correctly. He looks up at his crying mother and with all his strength mutters out a pathetic "I'm sorry."
Katsuki wasn't sure why they where crying, after all it was the undeniable truth, He was a bad person. He was aware of him explosive personality, and how his dislike for affection effected his relationships. He wasn't sure why they stayed around. Maybe they were scared if they all left him, he would become a villain or grow to be even colder. He was undeserving of love. He felt a need to apologize. Especially to izuku. He tried his best with him after the fight at ground beta, and then apologizing to Izuku who said he had forgiven him a long time ago. But to Katsuki it still wasn't enough. After all, to get rid of a stain you scrub it out of existence. But tonight maybe it was the way his mother held him as he said nothing but bury his face into her shoulder and how she told him everything would be fine, or how his dad pulled himself up off the floor when he realized (And when Katsuki realized) that Katsuki couldn't stand to look at the thing, the thing he planned his demise with, and took it down, and the tiniest thought slipped into his mind, though it echoed so loud as if a reminder, that maybe, just maybe he should tell them everything, because maybe, they did love him, and one day, he could learn to love himself.