Chapter Text
The Ultimate Spider-Man
Fic 2
I Will Be
“MILES!!” Gwen screamed as she landed and ran to his side. “NO! no no no, Miles!”
She slid on her knees to his side as she removed her mask. She finally got a good look at the wound on his side, and it looks like Miguel had took a large chunk of his flesh, and he had been bleeding out heavily this whole time. “Oh, no, Miles, no, wake up, Miles, wake up! Stay with me.”
“Gw…Gwen?” Miles struggled to open his eyes as Gwen removed his mask.
“Miles, stay with me… stay with me…” She begged, holding pressure to his wound.
“It’s alright… Miguel said I… wasn’t supposed to … be here… anyway…” Miles coughed, blood running down from the corner of his mouth.
“No, don’t say that! he’s wrong. He was always wrong,” Gwen shook her head as tears soaked her face. “You’re supposed to be here… you’re supposed to be with me.”
“Everything’s going to be ok, Gwen…” Miles whispered through his gasping breaths as Peter B called for help. “Everything’s going to be ok…” A small part of her ached as he was wasting his strength to comfort her, when it should be the other way around.
“Miles?” She whispered as his sharp breath began to slow. “MILES! Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me alone…”
“Keep… an eye… on my … rents…” Miles forced out, “You’ll… be … ok… you’re… strong… everything’s… going to… be … ok…”
Miles Morales sat up in bed clutching his side as he gasped for breath. He fell back and tried his best to calm his panic attack but could only gasp for breath as the phantom pain pulsing through his side made him tremble. Once he was able to at least take some deep breaths, he reached for his nightstand. His parents were away on a short vacation, leaving him home for school and his ‘other job’, and he didn’t want to worry them. He had been having these episodes starting just a few weeks after the Spot and then the Mephisto episode.
Dying twice in a week’s time would be hard for anyone. The panic still pulsed through him, and he didn’t want to be alone. Only one name came to mind as he struggled to search his nightstand for his goober band. Once he had just enough control of his breathing to make a com call, he dialed in Gwen’s.
{unavailable}
“Unavailable?” He tried again as he sat up and started to cough.
He slowly was regaining control of his breathing.
{unavailable}
“This is new…” Miles wheezed, still battling the panic attack, but at least had something he could try to focus on. Maybe the coms were down, or her goober was damaged… could be anything.
Instead of Gwen’s number, he plugged in the Spider-Society HQ. He wasn’t a full-fledged member, nor did he have any desire to be after everything that had happened, but for Gwen and his friends he was willing to be ‘part-time’.
“Hey Miles!” a hologram of Spider-Byte Margo Kess appeared smiling at him. “You ok, handsome?”
“Had better days…” Miles wheezed into a cough. “trying… to get a hold of Gwen…”He forced out between coughs, “keeps saying… unavailable…”
“Ohhh, yeah, they must have turned them off,” Margo nodded, “There was a group mission a couple hours ago, not sure why but Hobie pulled her out of the mission and took her back to his place, said they’d be going off the grid for a bit.”
“W-What?” Miles breath caught in his throat.
“Oh… oh crap,” Margo’s eyes widened, “Forget I said anything. They said not to tell you.”
“Wha why would … What?” Miles stammered setting back roughly in his bed.
“HEEEEE HEEEEE Miles you still HEEE there HEEEE you’re HEEEEE breaking HEEE up,” She said making obvious fake static sounds, before cutting the signal.
Miles laid back. This information did nothing to help his panic attack as his mind suddenly turned against him, bringing back all times he heard the mention of Hobie and Gwen.
“Does he know about her and Hobie?”
“I’ve been crashing at Hobie’s place a while…”
“You left your jumper at my place, Gwendy. And your toothbrus.”
“Are those my Chucks?”
Miles wanted to throw up.
He rolled on his side, the phantom pain on his side still lingering on top of his sudden chill and nausea making him curl into a ball.
“So what?” Miles tried to reason with himself, “Not like you two are together. That little whatever it was with Gwen’s copy was just her boss trying to control you…” He held his head in his hands, “God, now you’re sounding like Hobie…”
Maybe the rush of whatever it was he was feeling helped more than he would like to admit. Surely there’s better ways to beat a panic attack than to feel like someone ripped your heart out and stomped on it in front of your face.
He stumbled out of bed and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He could tell his skin tone had paled and his cheeks were tear stained. “When did I start crying?” He asked himself, “Bet Hobie never cries. Can hear him now say he doesn’t believe in tears. You know he’s that much cooler than you, Miles…”
He felt a sudden disgust in himself as his body seemed to move on its own, and he punched the mirror, shattering it.
“A distraction. I need a distraction…” He rambled as he looked for his sketchbook and began flipping through looking for a blank page, but every page haunted him. All the pictures he drew of Gwen, but his mind altered every one of them. Hobie beside her. Hobie behind her. Hobie holding her hand. Hobie kissing her. With a growl, he threw the book to the side and held his head in his hands as he tried to catch his breath. “Stop it, Miles.”
“She’s your friend, Miles,” He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. Then his breath caught in his throat.
“I didn’t know … how to tell you…”
“This is for your own good, Miles!”
“Is she though?” Miles felt a new wave of tears hit, “How can we be friends if I can’t trust what she says?”
“I need … air…” He said, grabbing his Spider-Suit, and quickly pulled it on, “A good long swing. That’ll help.”
Web Swinging was Miles’ favorite part of being Spider-Man, the rush of air and adrenaline as he repeatedly propelled himself through the air like a trapeze artist. The majority of the time, it’s the most soothing thing he’s ever experienced. But this was not the majority of the time.
His mind and imagination was continuing to rebel against him, giving him images he didn’t want to see. Gwen with Hobie in some 1970’s-looking flat. Gwen sitting with Hobie on his bed, both in their suits sans masks. Hobie tilting her head up to him… The two kissing softly then deepening… Removing each other’s suits… Hobie lying her down… then…
Miles managed to crash on a rooftop and jerk his mask up just in time to throw up.
He coughed and wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve, then sat there trying to catch his breath, trying to will his mind to silence. His eyes widened when an alarm sounded nearby. He pulled his mask back on and quickly moved to the edge of the building.
A couple of two-bit crooks had busted the window of a small jewelry store. Very, very bad timing on their part.
hey never saw it coming. Spider-Man swung down at full speed, kicking one into the brick wall of the building, instant knock out.
“Spider-Man?!” the other gasped, reaching up with a crowbar and taking a swing at the young hero. Miles easily caught his hand with his own and narrowed the eyes of his mask. Before the thug could respond, he snapped his arm backwards.
“My arm!” The thug gasped, cradling the now dangling limb. Miles didn’t hesitate as he punted him against the wall as well. He dragged them together in front the store and quickly webbed them up. He glanced up in time to see the police approaching before he took to the air.
“Holy shit,” one of the officers said looking at the thugs.
“I don’t think that arm’s supposed to bend that way…” His partner said, holding a hand over his mouth.
“That was a little much, don’t you think?” He asked himself as he stuck on a nearby wall. “Miles, you need to chill out…”
“Gwen… I need to talk to Gwen,” he shook his head, “My head isn’t going to cooperate until I do…”
Knowing that she would have to check back into the Spider Society HQ before she would go back to her home dimension, he climbed to a rooftop and opened a portal with his goober. Be better to just go there and wait for her. He glanced back at the thugs he beat up, “You can do less damage there, Miles…”
Several hours later, a portal finally opened in Nueva York’s Spider-Society HQ, and an exhausted Gwen Stacy stepped out, holding her mask in one hand, and covering a yawn in the other. After the disaster that was the mission to retrieve another anomaly, and Hobie and her … joyful evening, she was ready to check in with Jessica and go home and go to bed. After a few hours sleep, maybe she’d polish off the last details of her project and maybe, hopeful get to hang out with Miles a little.
She blinked when she saw Miles seated ahead of her, standing up and turning toward her. “Oh God, my hair is a mess,” She gasped to herself, pulling her mask back on so he wouldn’t see it.
“Hey, Miles, what’s up?” She greeted him with a small wave.
“That’s what I’d like to know,” Miles spat angrily, causing her to take an involuntary step back.
“W-what? What’s wrong?” Gwen asked, her eyes growing wide in concern.
“Where WERE you?!” Miles yelled, his mask not even a little bit hiding his anger. “I’ve been trying to call you all night!”
“What? I… What’s wrong? Why were you trying to contact me?” She asked, suddenly very concerned.
“Oh, so now you’re worried about me?” He gave a humorless laugh, “I asked you a question, Gwen. Where were you?”
“Miles, what’s going on?” She took a step toward him, but he stepped away, keeping their distance.
“I don’t know, Gwen; what is going on?” Miles snapped, “Your goober said unavailable all freaking night, and I had no way of knowing where you were.”
She glanced back to see Peni and Margo standing not far away, Margo mouthing an apology.
“It’s not like I disappeared; they knew where I was,” Gwen replied, motioning toward the command center.
“Yeah, I get that; everyone knew where you were and what was going on,” Miles chuckled, “Everyone but me. Nothing new there, am I right?”
Gwen felt like Miles punched her in the gut and unconsciously reached up and pulled her mask down tighter. She was suddenly very aware of how many were in the lobby area, and also very well aware of how silent it had gotten and how many eyes were trained on them. “M-Miles, let’s talk about this privately somewhere…”
“NO,” He shouted, “We’re talkin’ bout it now!”
“Miles, everyone is staring at us,” She pleaded, “Can we please talk about this somewhere else.”
Miles reached up and jerked off his mask, revealing his puffy red eyes and tear soaked cheeks, “Does this look like a face that gives a shit right now, Gwen?”
“Knock it off, you two!” Jessica Drew stepped up. “You need to hash stuff out; the rooftop observatory is open. Get up there and work this out. NOW.”
“Fine, whatever,” Miles turned and power walked toward the elevator, with a stomp that put Miguel during his brooding moments to shame.
“Thank you…” Gwen whispered, tugging down on her mask.
Jessica patted her shoulder, “Just fix this. This mess has been building long enough. Sorry for our part in it, too.”
The elevator doors closed, and Jessica glanced around at the still deathly silent hall. “Don’t ya’all have anything better to do? This is the Spider Society, not Days of our Lives. GET TO WORK!”
“But the Tension…”
“PAV!”
“Yes, ma’am…”
---
The two walked out on the observatory that overlooked the Nueva York skyline and stood in silence watching the sun peek over the skyscrapers.
“Miles… I get something upset you, but I’m a grown woman,” she said softly, trying but failing to stop herself from pulling on her mask. “If something was wrong, I would have made sure to contact you. And it’s my fault I didn’t leave a way for you to contact me. That was on me.”
“I knew where you were…” Miles said softly, gripping the railing tightly.
“What?” Gwen froze.
“When I couldn’t reach you, I contacted the Society…” He took a deep breath, trying to steady his voice. “Margo told me you took off to Hobie’s, that he pulled you out or something.”
Gwen sighed and mentally made a note to have a very long talk to Margo after this was settled. “Miles…”
“I’m just being too dramatic, I get it. It’s my bad,” Miles closed his eyes tightly, “I should be able to better deal with the fact I died. I guess I’m still a weak-ass kid. Maybe one day, I’ll be more like Hobie and just deal with shit without falling apart.”
“Miles… that’s not…” She started but he stepped away.
“Don’t… Gwen, just don’t…” He held up his hands to her.
“This is stupid. I should just go home.” He shook his head. “Maybe I just need to take a break from Spider-Man all together. I’ve been a mess all night… feel like I need to apologize to Miguel after I broke a thug’s arm tonight.”
“Miles! Wait, please, start at the beginning,” Gwen shook her head.
“I dreamed about it, Gwen. I was there again, bleeding out on the street, you begging me to hang on. Right back on that street again.” He was trembling at this point. “And I woke up and I couldn’t breathe. I could still feel the wound on my side. I could have sworn I was soaked in blood, but it was just my sweat. Folks went out of town, Dad had a police conference in Jersey… and… I tried to reach for you. But you were… unavailable.”
“Then, I found out you were at Hobie’s, and … I don’t even know what came over me,” Miles couldn’t face her. “I never felt like that… I just… I was so upset. And I don’t even know why. Hell, I do. I was jealous. But even I know that was stupid of me to be that way. We’re barely even friends at this point, right?”
She winced at the last question but tried to salvage what was happening. “I’m so sorry, Miles; I forgot to turn my goober’s com back on after Hobie and I finished…” She flinched at her choice of words, and she knew she saw him flinch as well.
“I mean…” She tried to correct herself, but Miles held up a hand.
“You don’t gotta explain nothing, Gwen,” Miles said in a defeated tone. “Like you said, you’re a grown woman. You do what you wanna do and who you wanna do it with. No skin off me.”
“Miles…” Gwen swallowed hard and tried to speak up.
“I just… my mind started messing with me… maybe it was just the panic attack… not the first time they screwed with me…but I couldn’t get my imagination to stop. I kept seeing it. You two… you were offline for hours… and … all I could picture was you and Hobie … fucking.” He was full on trembling now, “And I feel nasty for even thinking of you like that. It’s none of my business if you were. He was there for you when I wasn’t right? Why wouldn’t you fall for cool badass with the accent? How could a physics major who likes to spray paint compete with someone like him anyway? Rock and Roll star slash superhero! Heck, he was able to join back up in your little club house, while I still can barely stomach thinking the name of it. He’s the better Spider-Man hundred percent.”
“Miles,” Gwen knew she was crying at this point, “I promise… I swear nothing happened between Hobie and me tonight.”
“I want to believe you,” Miles sighed deeply, “But how do I know you just don’t know how to tell me? I get I’m fragile. I died twice in a week. Maybe you’re just trying to protect me.”
“Miles, no…” Gwen shook her head.
“You can’t even take your mask off, Gwen…” Miles whispered sadly.
She hadn’t even realized the mask was still on, but she reached up and jerked it off and threw it off the edge of the observatory. “Miles, look at me, I swear, I swear to you.”
He turned and looked at her with a sad smile. At any other time, she would have thought he looked like a lost forlorn puppy in need of a hug. “How can I believe you when you already lied to my face before?” He turned and looked out over the city. “Gwen… this… this just isn’t working.”
“W-What?” Gwen stammered, her eyes growing wide.
“How can we even be friends when I can’t trust what you say to me?” His lip trembled, “How can we make this work? How can any type of friendship even get off the ground if I second guess everything you say?” He looked down at his goober, “I think… I just need to turn this back in, and we forget about the whole thing.”
“Nononono, Miles, please!” She chanted as she rushed him in a panic, grabbed his arm, and plugged in the code for Hobie’s dimension, “There. Go talk to Hobie. You know him. You know as well as I do, he doesn’t believe in lying. Reminds him too much of organized politics. He’ll tell you the truth. He’ll verify everything I said. I… please… I can’t lose you again.”
“Gwen,” Miles whispered taken back by her actions.
“Please, if… if our friendship meant anything, please just this one time,” She begged him, her hands trembling on his arm. “Just… just go talk to him, and if that’s … that’s not good enough… then we’ll… we can say… go… good… we can end it. But please… give me this one last chance…”
Miles gave her a look, and to her surprise pulled her into a warm hug. “I’ll talk to him… but no promises… this is … getting hard on both of us. I deserve to be able to listen to you and believe… and you deserve a friend that won’t fly off the handle when he thinks he’s being lied to… so… no promises…”
“Ok… Ok…” Gwen nodded into his chest and was reluctant to let him go when he pulled away, but she watched him walk into the portal and held it mostly together til it closed.
The moment it shut, her knees gave out and she collapsed on the ground.
“Please…” She begged through her tears, “Don’t leave me, Miles…”
“There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go
“I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go…”
To Be Continued…