Work Text:
Charlie’s POV:
Well. I never would have thought that waiting for the new season of a fucking tv show would throw me over the edge. I was just scrolling through instagram with Nick on the other side of the couch watching some Marvel film where I could see there was currently a lot of fighting. This was a normal situation, and this was only the first film, so when this one ends, I already knew what was gonna happen. Nick was going to snuggle me close and put on some Disney film that doesn’t involve war, and hold me to his chest where we would fall asleep until it was time for me to go back home. It turns out that it was going to happen a bit earlier than I was expecting. And earlier than what he was expecting. Neither of us was expecting me to just suddenly have an anxiety attack over something so, so stupid! And yet it was still happening.
I was still scrolling through instagram when I saw it. My favorite tv show had posted a picture that I had never seen of the show before, and in the caption it said that the next season was coming out in the next couple of weeks!! I should be excited right?? Well, I am, but the picture that I saw I had no choice than to believe that it was going to be in the next season, and I have no idea why the best character and the worst were talking.. But they were like, really pissed off.. Anyway it was still happening, and then all of a sudden, my anxiety went out of control, and my chest started to tighten, my throat had all of a sudden closed off and I couldn’t breathe right. I knew I was hyperventilating, and the fact that I knew my reaction to something like this was illogical. I couldn’t focus on anything, I could barely hear when Nellie barked looking at Nick and then back to me.
I turned my phone off, which I knew was useless considering Nick and I knew each other’s passwords. All I could think about was not knowing what was happening and not having any control over it, and how that is how it’s supposed to be and that my reaction to this is completely stupid and uncalled for. I could feel the tears roll down my face, but I also felt something else, a thumb, running over my cheeks, wiping away the tears that just kept falling. Then I heard his voice.
“Charlie? Charlie what’s wrong?? How can I help? Charlie?! Come on Char talk to me! Please!” I heard Nick say, the panic and confusion evident in his tone. I was the one causing that. He stopped talking, realizing that he probably wasn’t helping. He tried a different approach.
“Char?” He said gently, taking my phone out of my hand easily, and moving my hand to my chest, and putting a gentle pressure there.
“Charlie, breathe with me, please. Come on, in for 5 hold for 7 out for 5.” He said, using his breathing as an example. I tried to follow along, shaky breaths, still sobbing, but it was working. I was calming down from my absolutely ridiculous episode of anxiety.
“Good job, Char, give me three more, please.” He said, still breathing with me, and then I was calm again. Calm enough to realize the sheer ridiculousness of the reasoning for my anxiety, and start to have hysterics. Like a very bad case of hysterics. And I think that freaked Nick out even more than the panic. Eventually though, I’d calmed down enough for Nick to ask the one thing I didn’t want to answer right now.
“Char.. What was all that about? What happened? You were freaking out and then you just started laughing.. I’m trying to understand but nothing comes to my head. I almost didn’t know what to do, but I can’t think of what might have caused something like that, it was just so random and it’s never happened like that before.” I could tell that this was deeply concerning him. He was concerned for me. Hell, even I was concerned for me. I just had no idea how to tell Nick about it when it was something so stupid! I was beginning to stress about it, and my breathing went uneven again. Nick, however, didn’t let it get as far again. He pulled me into his arms and told me that I didn’t have to talk if I didn’t want to. But I did want to, it was just stupid embarrassing. When I was calm again, I tried to start.
“I-I’m trying to f-figure out how t-to tell you, it’s just- it’s so stupid Nick! I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did to something so simple and it’s just- ugh it’s so stupid I’m so sorry for doing that it wasn’t-” but Nick kissed me to shut me up, just a quick soft press of lips and then he pulled back and held me even closer if that was even possible.
“What have I said about the s-word, Char?” He murmured in my ear. Then pulled himself away from me and turned me around so that I was facing him.
“I don’t care if it’s stupid, Charlie, I just want to know what happened that made you completely freak out like that.” He said, and he was genuinely worried for me, I should have known he wouldn’t judge me. He’s Nick fucking Nelson of course he’s not gonna judge me. I put my head down in embarrassment, and damn near started crying again, but willed myself not to. I owed it to Nick to give him some kind of explanation for my episode. May as well get out with it now. I sighed.
“Nick, it’s just- I was scrolling through instagram like I do every time you put on a Marvel film, and I saw something that- ugh this is so embarrassing. Ok, so you know that T.V show that I really like?” I looked up at him, and he nodded, confused. I continued.
“Well I saw that it’s coming out with a new season in a couple weeks, and before you say anything, I know that’s something to be excited about, but the picture that they showed, well it kind of made me spiral a bit. Like I hadn’t seen it before and sort of just knew that it was from the new season, but it just got me thinking like, whatever is going to happen I’m gonna have no control over it or whatever, and I’ll have no idea what’s going to happen, and I know that’s how it’s supposed to be, but like me and my fucked up brain said that it was something to freak out about. Then when I calmed down again, thanks to you, the more logical side of my brain took over and just started me laughing at how stupid it was that I was freaking out over that and yea. Basically that’s what happened.” I rushed, looking back at Nick who now had a look of understanding and remaining concern. Before he could say anything I reassured him.
“I promise I’m okay now! I know it was weird, but I am okay now I swear! You don’t need to be worried!” I said, and right when I finished Nick pulled me closer and sighed in relief. I wrapped my arms around his torso and we just held each other in a comfortable silence until Nick huffed a laugh.
“God, Char, you gave me a proper panic! Don’t you even dare to apologize, because I understand now, and I would have done the same thing if I was in your position. But you said that you’re feeling better now, so I believe you!” He paused and moved his mouth closer to my ear and in a low, quiet tone,
“Are you excited for your show?” He said, breathing hot air onto my neck, making me lose my train of thought for a moment. I tried to think of a response to his very simple question.
“Um yea, yea I am. God Nick.” I gasped as he started to kiss my neck softly, holding onto my waist, making sure I don’t fall. He moved slowly up the side of my neck to my sweet spot, lingering there for a few moments, making my breathing grow uneven again, but for a completely different reason this time. He sucked slightly, and even though I tried to keep quiet, couldn’t escape the small noise from the back of my throat.
“Nick!” I said, or breathed more like, and he moved back up to my lips, parting them slightly, and then moving us back to the couch. He pulled me into his arms and started to put on a film on Disney+, but I had no idea as to what seeming as my thoughts were still incoherent. So as the film was playing, I realized had happened. I gasped as I realized.
“Nick! You fucking tease ! I will get you back for that, just you wait!” I said, in a teasing tone, making Nick chuckle.
“I’m looking forward to it, baby.” Nick said, casually, and then turned back to the film, which I had just realized was Peter Pan. And today must be a day of realization hits for me, because Nick had just called me baby. EXCUSEMEWHAT?! Fucking baby. And I fucking loved it. But I had to confirm I had heard properly.
“Um Nick?” I asked him.
“Yes Char?” Nick said, innocently.
“What did you just call me?”