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The months leading after the conclusion of 15 Years of Lies left Melt with a varying amount of mixed feelings, in more places than one.
He’d been praised for his performance, despite it only being a minor role, which lead to more and more job opportunities related to acting. Of course, it was natural following the success of such a huge film, but Melt often found himself doubting his acting ability, compared to that of his castmates.
Melt’s relationship with Aqua, specifically, and how their relationship had blossomed since the conclusion of 15 Years of Lies left him with an amount of varying feelings as well, most of which he didn’t want to get into, rather opting to focus on the positives.
Regardless of Melt’s internal turmoil, and as much as he wanted to focus on those thoughts, he couldn’t, at least, not in that moment. Melt needed to shift his attention to the rehearsal he was attending, but he struggled to remain in the moment.
In this particular situation, Melt and Aqua were in the same cast for the filming of a manga being adapted into a TV series, and honestly, Melt was relieved to be working with someone he felt close with, despite the both of them only having been casted as minor roles only showing up for a few episodes.
Melt sighed softly, checking the time on his phone for what felt like the millionth time that day, idly watching the number on the clock tick up. He figured he could just slip away for a moment, and recollect his thoughts before continuing, surely that would help him feel better—
Melt wasn't looking where he was going and he managed to bump into one of the other cast members and stumbled, falling, his cheek breaking his fall and sustaining most of the damage, for better or worse. Most likely due to how much he was in his own head, being unable to focus on his surroundings.
Melt’s eyes widened, as he reached up his hand, hoping for the best, his fingers gently grazing over the impact area, just as he suspected his touch was met with bruised skin. Flinching, he pulled his hand away with an exasperated sigh.
That would definitely cause him some problems, and not just with filming.
Melt overheard the girl spewing apologies but he waved her off, it really wasn't that big of a deal. Accidents happen, as he said, which seemed to ease her worries.
It was strange, being in the injured position. Melt’s past left him no stranger to being a bully, being the one inflicting pain onto others. But in this situation, the reverse occurred, almost like the time in Sweet Today, when Melt swung too hard and struck Aqua for real.
Still, despite Melt's outward reassurance, he didn't believe it himself, knowing a bruise would most definitely pose problems for him.
The only thing Narushima Melt had going for himself was a pretty face.
Bruised skin did not mix well with a pretty face.
Melt’s mind started racing, sending himself into a spiral.
What would he do?
Melt had photo shoots and other acting gigs to attend to, and sure, the editors could Photoshop the bruise out of the picture, but ultimately that would cause more stress on the editor team, and Melt didn’t want to do that at all.
A noticeable contrast between the old him, who didn't care about what people were involved in a production to now, someone who aimed to be as easy to work with as possible.
Perhaps he'd picked up on that habit from Kana, considering she went through a similar change.
He knew outside of his appearance, Melt didn't have much else going for him. His personality wasn't anything to exactly ride home about, he struggled to communicate at times, and he could be pushy.
Melt's past loomed behind him, following him around, serving as a constant reminder that no matter how hard he tried to change himself, how hard he worked to be a better person, there would always be people who remembered the old Melt.
Aqua was one of the people who witnessed how Melt used to act. And yet, he saw past that, he saw the way Melt changed himself for the better, and by some stroke of luck the two of them found themselves to be in a relationship.
Aqua never held Melt's past against him.
Melt didn't know how he got so lucky.
What would Aqua think?
He felt his stomach sink at that thought.
Melt didn’t realize it, but at some point he’d been taken to a different room, probably to avoid the stares from the other cast members. He didn’t even realize who had helped him, he was too far in his own thoughts to even consider his surroundings, having crawled into his mental shell for an amount of time he couldn’t even recall.
Really, it would've been fine if Melt had stood up and walked it off, never giving anybody a reason to worry. But the fact that he hesitated, that he got too far into his mind to the point of spiraling would obviously raise suspicion.
Obviously. And it did.
Of course Melt was being a burden to those around him, time and time again, this time no different.
Suddenly, a flash of familiar blonde filled Melt’s peripheral, the feeling of a cold sensation on his bruised cheek pulling him out of his thoughts with a yelp and a flinch, much to his dismay.
There in front of him stood Aqua, who was resting an ice pack against Melt’s cheek. Melt sighed softly as he swatted Aqua’s hand away, he could handle taking care of himself, but.. some part of him was hoping Aqua wouldn’t move his hand away.
Melt shouldn’t be making Aqua deal with his issues. He already had his own things to deal with.
Melt didn’t need to burden Aqua any more than he already had.
Usually, Aqua would be the one spiraling, the one in need of comfort. This was the first time Aqua had seen Melt in this state, and of course it would be over something so trivial, so stupid as getting a bruise on his face.
Aqua must've picked up that there was more going on inside Melt's mind than he let onto, as his hand gently reached out to cup Melt’s other cheek, holding it softly.
Despite neither of them saying anything, the look on Aqua’s face said it all as they held eye contact. That he was worried, that despite his stoic expression he wanted to comfort Melt, like Melt had done for him so many times.
Melt sighed, leaning into the touch softly, finally giving into allowing Aqua to comfort him some, which the other seemed pleased with by the glimmer in his eyes.
The two sat in silence together for a while until Melt finally decided to break the silence.
"I.. I'm sorry you have to see me like this," Melt started, shifting his body in an attempt to get more comfortable for the conversation.
Aqua's hand still cupped his cheek, offering some kind of stabilization for Melt, a silent reminder that showed he was listening and that he cared about what Melt had to say, even without saying it. His thumb stroking Melt's cheek served as a motion to urge Melt to keep going, which he did.
"I'm just.. God, why am I so upset about a bruise of all things?" Melt forced out a laugh, like he was trying to undermine the situation. He knew it wasn't just about a bruise. He knew there was more to it than that. He knew.
Aqua knew too.
Melt knew that much, and yet he didn't want to— no, he felt like he couldn't be honest about that part of himself.
Despite Melt's internal turmoil and his attempt at undermining the situation at hand, Aqua listened silently, his expression never faltering. His presence always brought Melt more comfort than he truly wanted to admit out loud, and this moment was no exception.
Maybe if Melt was able to be more honest about his feelings.. that would make things a lot easier on the both of them.
Melt struggled with showing his appreciation for Aqua, especially in moments like these. He felt guilt over it.
He wanted Aqua to feel appreciated, to feel loved, but Melt was never sure if his feelings ever came across in the way he wanted them to, never sure if his feelings ever truly reached Aqua despite the other’s feelings clearly reaching him.
Did Aqua feel loved?
Melt struggled to tell at times.
That especially hurt him.
Melt knew he couldn't provide much within a relationship asides from being a pretty face.
Melt knew that, and yet he still selfishly allowed Aqua in despite everything, despite arguing with himself internally that in the end he probably wasn't the best fit for Aqua.
He was sure that Aqua knew too, deep down.
Melt shifted his face away, tears threatening to spill out, once again becoming a victim to his own overthinking and self-doubt. “Sorry, sorry..” He croaked out, desperately trying to pretend like he was okay, pulling away from Aqua’s touch. “Just forget about this. Please.”
“Melt.”
Melt’s breath hitched. Aqua continued to speak.
Aqua went silent for a moment, his gaze fixated on something in the distance, as if he was considering the right words to say. He locked eyes with Melt and continued. “You know I’m not going to just forget. So please, let me be someone you can lean on. Let me do this for you.”
“No, you don’t understand—” Melt started, his voice shaking as he spoke. He wiped a stray tear away from his cheek, trying his best to hold everything in, trying his best to make sense of what was going through his mind, trying to understand why he had to spiral and think about every single flaw he had when he had a breakdown, even if some of them weren't even relevant to what caused the breakdown.
The absolute last thing Melt wanted to do was burden Aqua, so he would do his best to keep everything to himself.
Melt wanted Aqua to understand, even if he didn't understand what he was feeling himself.
How selfish, demanding another to understand when Melt wasn't even capable of understanding himself.
Despite the two of them being in a relationship, Melt figured he didn’t deserve comfort, he didn’t deserve Aqua’s gentle touch as a means of calming him down. No, he wanted to provide all of that and more for Aqua, but Melt didn’t think he deserved Aqua’s straight gaze.
Melt was supposed to be the one to save Aqua.
It wasn't supposed to go the other way.
Melt believed himself to be too broken beyond repair, a person unworthy of another's love.
Despite the ego he had when he was younger saying otherwise, it had always been that way. He was just too scared to admit when he was younger, hiding behind his self-imposed ego.
Now that he'd changed for the better.. Melt found himself unable to avoid his issues, feeling as if everything had caught up with him at once.
It hurt.
But it felt deserved.
Melt struggled with the concept of love all throughout his life.
How could he not, when his parents were never present, never there when he needed them the most?
How could he not, when the girls who took advantage of him in middle school told him empty lies just to ensure they had him wrapped around their fingers?
Whether love came in the form of his parents saying that they were proud of him, empty words carrying no meaning from the two people who were supposed to be there for him but never were, or if it was in the form of the pretty lies told to him by the girls that slept with him, no, who were taking advantage of him, ultimately it all stemmed from the same thing: lies.
Pretty lies for a pretty face.
How fitting for Melt. That realization left him feeling bitter a lot of the time, as much as he didn’t want to admit to harboring those feelings, even years later.
Right now, love came in the form of ocean eyes and gentle smiles, only meant for Melt and Melt alone.
Yet Melt still found himself unworthy of love.
It felt genuine, despite everything. And that scared Melt the most. He wanted Aqua to find some reason to leave him, to lie to him, it was the only thing he was used to, being lied to.
Clearly, there must've been something wrong with Melt for every important person to have essentially lied to him.
Aqua must’ve picked up on Melt’s internal turmoil, as he leaned in closer to look Melt in the eyes.
Of course he’d pick up on that kind of thing.
Aqua frowned softly, both a welcome change from his usual stoic expression, his eyes examining Melt’s expression, trying to understand some of what was going through his mind. “I can’t understand if you don’t talk to me.”
Melt wanted to so badly. To open up about the things haunting him, but knew, he knew he wasn't strong enough for that just yet.
Aqua knew, too. He knew Melt was shouldering more than he let on, but Aqua didn't expect him to share those burdens just yet.
Both of them had their secrets. Their respect for one another in these situations came from some kind of mutual place of understanding.
Melt felt himself give into his emotions, tears spilling down his face. He found himself clinging onto Aqua, who gently held him, spoke gentle words even if Melt couldn't hear them, allowed him to sob in his arms without thinking any less of him.
If it were anyone else, Melt would’ve been embarrassed about breaking down like that.
Aqua’s voice brought Melt back to reality after a few minutes of him crying, his hand moving to wipe away the stray tears still left on Melt’s cheeks, fingers just missing the bruised area. "Seems like there's more to it than being upset over a bruise."
"Y-you seriously thought I'd break down like that just because of a bruise?!" Melt’s voice raised, and he found himself feeling just a bit better from their silly bickering.
"Well, you never know." Aqua spoke softly, moving some of Melt's hair away from his face; it'd begun to stick to his forehead, drenched in sweat from his own stress, but Aqua remained unbothered by that.
The pair remained in the same position for just a moment longer, Melt resting in Aqua's embrace, until Aqua spoke, breaking the silence between the two of them. "We should probably head back, I'm sure the others are wondering where we ran off to."
Melt knew Aqua was right, he knew the fact that both of them disappearing for an extended amount of time could come off in the wrong way, and yet he didn't want the moment to end. He made a noise of acknowledgement, but didn't make any effort to break the embrace, same with Aqua.
Regardless, Aqua continued to run his fingers through Melt's hair, feeling the soft locks between his fingers. He'd always been better at showing his feelings through actions over words, and this situation was no different. "Are you alright?"
"Better than what I was." Melt spoke softly, finally lifting his head up to look at Aqua. "Thank you, for.. For being here. Really, it means a lot to me."
Aqua, who rarely smiled around others, couldn't help but feel like he was able to smile around Melt, genuinely. Their gazes locked, and Aqua gave Melt a subtle, gentle smile as he replied. "It's my job to be here for you."