Archive of Our Own

r/TrueOffMyChest · Posted by u/throwaway616B 25d.

My(M39) Wife(F38) is obsessed with my Boss(M32) and it’s all my fault.

I’d like to start this by saying that, yes, I do talk about my boss to my wife a fair share of times, some may say a little too much, but I personally don’t see anything wrong with that. I’ve known my boss for a while now, let’s call him Mike.

Me and Mike have been working together for a while now, and I’ve known him outside of work as well, he is a great guy and an awesome boss. He's got this serious persona most of the time, and I get it y’know? For the sake of not telling on myself, I’ll just say that he runs this massive organization, and damn does he do a great job at it. Despite being super strict and stuff, I can tell that he cares a lot about everyone, even if his sense of humor sucks and is overall kind of a joykill, but in my opinion, we all have our flaws.

Now my wife, I gotta say, despite going through our first divorce, I love her a lot. We just had a baby(F7mo) recently! And I see her as my whole world. I love bringing her to work (with my wife’s permission of course) and she enjoys the adrenaline rush the trip brings. My boss has recently lost a child, and seems to be very protective of my daughter, which I totally get y’know, we deal with a buncha dangerous stuff (vague for obvious reasons of course). I’m alright with this, and even enjoy seeing them bond sometimes. He tries to pretend as if he doesn’t care as much as he does, and I consider that very entertaining and cute. Whenever I get home, my wife loves to listen to me talk about work, which I think is on par for most couples, and she may berate me sometimes if what the day I describe is particularly dangerous, which is… fair, but I try to keep those details out of my stories these days so I don't worry her.

The issue is that I think she’s starting to enjoy my stories too much, especially those that involve my boss. At first, I thought she was focusing on his interaction with our daughter, but sometimes when I would talk at length about my boss alone, she seemed just as interested, if not more! I wasn’t sure if this was just her supporting my discussions or if she had a genuine interest in him, but I think the events that follow have supported my thoughts that she might be just as invested in him as I am.

Recently, our ‘organization’ hosted a large dinner-party-esque gathering for anyone who wanted to join, including their families and such. As soon as I mentioned this to my wife, she happily suggested we’d attend, and I agreed as I was thinking of going either way. In total, I’d say a majority of our coworkers and friends attended, and it was a busy crowd. As soon as we arrived on site, my wife insisted we’d go meet Mike, as she had never met him before and wanted to introduce herself to him. Now I’ll be honest, I wasn’t opposed to this, as I saw Mike as basically a third parent to our daughter, and I thought it would be nice for him to meet my wife and also get to see our baby again. I won’t bore you with the details of our conversation, but what I’ll say is that they had great chemistry, amazing even, and I thoroughly enjoyed the topics we all spoke about. The problem is, now that we’ve gotten home, he’s all she talks about. She insists he’s not as grumpy or serious as I make him out to be, and I personally am a bit annoyed at this, because she doesn’t know him like I do. Of course he’d be kind to her, this was a casual work party! But she’s convinced that we bring him over for dinner and that we should spend more time with him, since I seem to share the same feelings as her.

Now here is where I ask for help, I want to prove to her that she’s wrong - she simply doesn’t get him like I do, and the fact that she’s been mildly stalking his social media (where he only posts photos of himself and us at work in a fake and positive light) to further her own point. I know I caused this, I should’ve been more careful when talking about my boss to my wife and hyping him up as this strict, cold person. So, people of reddit, how do I get my wife to stop obsessing over my boss so she doesn’t try to disprove me so often and get her to see my point?

Edit: Before this post gets any more attention, I’d like to answer some questions on here so i don’t have to deal with the same responses:

No, I am not a bad father and I'm not endangering my child, none of you know my place of work and can’t comment on that! Just because I mentioned that we deal with some sticky situations does NOT mean I'm not being careful as they happen! Yes my boss has commented on the fact that it would be better to leave my kid at home, but I personally don't see the problem.

No, I am not jealous of my wife showing attention to my boss, I don’t particularly mind it as I do the same thing, and if it's worth anything, I think he’s a very interesting person (see my other posts on r/relationship_advice). I only have a problem with her obsessing over the little details that would prove that he's not what I describe him as, basically calling me a liar or saying I'm exaggerating (I'm not.).

I’m not sure why so many of you want to know what we spoke about, but I'll bite: The main topics were our baby, work and other, more personal details. I’d like to mention that she got the idea of him being nicer than I know him from this particular interaction, where he would twist stories into making ME seem more reckless than I am. (As I mentioned above, I am aware of the risks I put my baby in and I've already stated before that I take a great deal in making sure she's safe!)

Edit 2: Thank you for the rewards guys, you’re all too kind.

Edit 3: I’ve seen some of you in the replies pretending to be Mike, firstly I don't think he even has a reddit account (i would know) and if he did, he would be messaging me by now. (he hasn't yet.)

Edit 4: He messaged me. Update was posted on my profile.

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