Work Text:
… oOo …
“Kaeya,” Diluc said gravely as a greeting, “Do you think I’ll survive if I flee Mondstadt, dye my hair, and change my name?”
Before Kaeya could answer or even ask for context, Diluc yelped, ducking beneath his window and peeking out carefully.
“You did not see me, and I was never here,” Diluc informed Kaeya, jumping back out of his window.
Kaeya idly wondered what Diluc was thinking climbing up and jumping out of his window in broad daylight. They could only hope that whoever saw the great Master Diluc jump out a window thought that either he was in an extraordinary rush, or that they were still dreaming.
Mere moments later, a knock sounded at Kaeya’s door. Adelinde let herself in a mere breath later.
“Master Kaeya,” Adelinde greeted. Her smile was stiff, if not a bit grim. Kaeya had to wonder just what Diluc had managed to get himself into. “Have you seen Master Diluc?”
“No, not today.” Kaeya laughed awkwardly. “It’s far too early to see his ugly face. I only expect to see him at Angel’s Share tonight. Might I ask what he did?”
“It seems Master Diluc had been planning a birthday party for me against my direct wishes,” Adelinde said primly.
“Oh, the party,” Kaeya muttered under his breath. Kaeya glanced up with a smile, hoping to somehow throw Adelinde off Diluc’s scent, but he’d forgotten just how good Adelinde’s hearing was when she wanted it to be. The smile slipped off his face as he locked eyes with Adelinde.
“Oh, the party,” Adelinde repeated slowly with a gleam in her eye that made Kaeya shiver. “So you knew about the plans?”
“Ahaha, look at the time. I need to go on patrol,” Kaeya exclaimed brightly.
With Adelinde guarding the door, Kaeya’s only option was to take the same way out that Diluc had taken.
He had no pity for the window. Only for his and Diluc’s rapidly decreasing lifespans.
… oOo …
“Do you see this grey hair, Diluc?” Kaeya pointed at the long cluster of grey that ran through his hair from scalp to tip. “This is all because of you!”
“You’ve had that for as long as I’ve known you!” Diluc protested.
“Yes, I grew them in advance because I knew I was going to live with the most idiotic person in the world,” Kaeya hissed. “What would possess you to tell Adelinde anything?”
“You expected me to lie to Adelinde’s face?” Diluc asked incredulously. “Adelinde had managed to get her hands on the entire plan before she even asked me!”
“I expected you to have some modicum of self-preservation! If you can’t lie to her face, then run . You’re a busy man, Diluc, I’m sure you can think of something that sounds vaguely urgent!”
“Do you want to tell me how you’re also being hunted by Adelinde again?”
“ You were the one who knocked me off guard. Why would you come to my office while Adelinde was still on your tail?”
“I thought I’d lost her near Angel’s Share!” Diluc complained. “I just came to warn you. Charles or Patton must have ratted me out after I left.”
“You really should reconsider your nightly activities if you couldn’t even tell you were being followed,” Kaeya muttered bitterly. “I was always the favourite, and now you’ve just ruined my reputation.”
“Keep believing that.” Diluc huffed. “Adelinde knew you were the one that broke that vase in Father’s office back then.”
“Me? I was nowhere near the vase when Adelinde found it.” Kaeya sniffed. “ You , on the other hand…”
“The only reason I was there was because you told me Father was looking for me!”
“Pity you just missed him, then,” Kaeya said mockingly.
… oOo …
“ Boys .”
Adelinde’s voice came from directly above them. Her shadow loomed over their hiding spot in the late afternoon sun. It was instinct that told them that she knew exactly where they were. It was Adelinde being merciful that was stopping her from climbing down to grab them from within the shadows.
Both Diluc and Kaeya froze in their hiding spot. They should have known that there was nowhere in Mondstadt that was safe from Adelinde.
There was nowhere in Teyvat that they could run.
“It’s been good knowing you, Kaeya. I’m glad you were my brother,” Diluc said softly.
Kaeya’s eye widened.
“I’m sorry, Adelinde. It was all my idea.” Diluc stepped out of the cover of the overhanging rocks and into Adelinde’s direct line of sight. “I asked for Kaeya’s opinion on some details, that’s the only reason he knew.”
Kaeya could see Diluc trembling from the shadow he cast on the stone.
“This idiot couldn’t plan his way out of a paper bag with his Vision,” Kaeya insisted, stepping out a moment later. “I was the one to convince Diluc into the party.”
“The planning wouldn’t have gotten far if I hadn’t agreed,” Diluc interrupted, “and with how busy Kaeya is, he didn’t have the time to do much of the planning.”
“Look at these eye bags,” Kaeya argued, poking Diluc’s face, “Eye bags this dark are never worn by a person with a whole lot of free time on their hands. I—”
“ Boys ,” Adelinde repeated. Kaeya’s mouth snapped shut, whatever explanation he had planned being stolen by Adelinde’s tone.
Diluc took a tiny step forward to stand in front of Kaeya. While Kaeya appreciated the sentiment, Diluc was an irredeemable idiot. Diluc was the one that lived under the same roof as Adelinde. Kaeya, at least, had an excellent hideout that was the Knights’ Dorms.
So he shoved Diluc behind him, unwilling to step any closer to the already obviously annoyed Adelinde. Diluc grabbed a handful of Kaeya’s coat to tug him back again.
Adelinde sighed, crossing her arms in front of her. Diluc and Kaeya immediately stopped their impromptu scuffle, guiltily standing side by side.
“No party,” Adelinde affirmed. “I will, however, be glad to have you over for dinner, Master Kaeya.”
Kaeya shot a smirk at Diluc. Diluc rolled his eyes.
“However, that doesn’t mean that either of you are off the hook,” Adelinde continued, glaring. “Which means, Master Kaeya, you’re banned from all taverns for the next two weeks. As for you, Master Diluc, I expect you to be at Dawn Winery and relaxing after 10pm for the next two weeks. No excuses. No exceptions. No after hours activities. No early morning, pre-breakfast activities. No excuses about manning the tavern. I’ve already informed Charles, Jean, and Margaret.”
Diluc and Kaeya stared blankly at each other.
Adelinde was always knew how to hand out the worst punishments.