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Aziraphale had just finished putting the next batch of tarts into the oven when Crowley stormed in through the cottage’s back door, slamming the door behind him.
“Something the matter, dear?”
“That damn rabbit is at it again!” Crowley snarled upon entering the kitchen.
Aziraphale wiped his hands and sighed, “What happened this time?”
“It’s digging up the garden!” Crowley fell into one of the dining chairs, head in his hands, and angrily tugged at his hair. “At this rate, there won’t be anything left! The rocket got all chewed up and the courgettes you were so excited for have all been nicked, there’s nothing safe from that blasted rodent!”
Aziraphale chose not to argue the fact that rabbits weren’t technically rodents and, instead, set a plate of freshly baked strawberry tarts between them. “I’m sure it’ll go away on its own eventually, dear.”
“I highly doubt that.” Crowley grumbled, stabbing away at his mobile until he found a way to humanely get rid of pests.
Hmm… a fence would probably be his best bet.
“‘M going into town for a few things, I’ll be back.”
Two hours later, after Crowley returned from the local gardening centre, a brand-new fence surrounded his miniature Eden.
That afternoon, as they were lounging on the porch swing, Aziraphale reading while Crowley dozed off on his lap, the rabbit struck again. It hopped clean over the knee-high fence and made an immediate bee-line for the carrot patch.
“Oh, would you look at that,” Aziraphale stifled a laugh as Crowley’s brilliant idea failed right in front of them.
“Hnngh?” Groggy, Crowley looked over to where Aziraphale was looking before trying to scramble up as fast as he could without faceplanting off the swing. “Oi! Thrice damned little—”
“Dearest, wait.” Aziraphale held onto him, wrapping a strong arm around Crowley’s middle while he squirmed with rage. “Have you tried reasoning with it yet?”
“Reasoning with it? Why the heaven would I try to reason with a rabbit?”
“Well, isn’t that what you did with your little rat friends in London?”
“That was different.”
“How so?”
“Rats’re easy to work with. Smart as anything, they are, ‘s what makes them such useful creatures.”
“A rabbit can be useful.”
“And how’s that?” Crowley shot back.
Aziraphale’s eyes gleamed with excitement. “I’ve been meaning to get back into magic, you see, and I could use a rabbit for–”
“What happened to that other one you had? The white, fluffy one with the unnerving red eyes. What was his name? Henry?”
“Harry,” Aziraphale answered, looking embarrassed. “He, um… He may have run away… I don’t think he much liked being a part of my act.”
Crowley snorted. “That makes two of us.”
“Crowley!”
“Alright, alright…” He placated, getting up from the swing, and miracled a temptingly large carrot into his hand. Oh, the things he did for his ridiculous angel. “Let me see what I can do.”
Later that afternoon, a deal was struck and the fence was torn down.