Archive of Our Own

They say there’s a cafe that allows patrons to go back in time with a pour of warm black coffee. 

He has heard similar rumours back in Tokyo, of a cafe called Funiculi Funicula . Toya has never been one to believe in anything within the supernatural lines. He was never raised religiously in a family of classical musicians, nor did he hold any particularly strong beliefs as he grew up except for something usual among society like praying at the temples during New Year’s. A sceptic, like Toya, would never imagine going to such a place.

Yet his mind restlessly stirs around the idea, imagining the ‘What-ifs’ for years now. As an organised person, he archives his old calendars that were hung up on his bedroom door, the red circles and colourful marks across the columns serving as eternal reminders. Of the better times, the endless days of practice, the amount of time wasted away after that one fateful day…

Ah, it’s been more than 10 years, hasn’t it?

He never marked anywhere for their first meeting, but there had been a first recorded in the same year.

That had been the reason why he came to the cafe. On the surface, its appearance was similar to other retro cafes in Tokyo. Going down the stairs, it's as if Toya had been carried to a different time cut off from the present. A few patrons were here and there but he took note of the interesting staff: An aged couple, and a middle-school girl. From his own observation, the girl is the main barista, brewing the coffee and serving them while the couple acted more as supervisors or worked at the cash register. 

When Toya questioned them about the rumour, they didn’t react in surprise or confusion, rather indifferent, as if they had heard the same question over and over again. And there was when he learned the set rules of rules overseeing the time-travelling process.

Even if he hadn’t believed it, it would still have been impossible.

Unable to change the present or being given a time limit, those things mattered not to Toya. Yet the condition that had his journey fruitless made sense though at the same time disappointing, maybe more. 

“ You may only travel back to the past by sitting on this seat, and you may never leave this seat, or you will be forcefully brought back to the present.”

Toya silently contemplated and expanded the meaning behind those words. “Then that means… I can only see the people that were customers of this cafe.”

“That’s right…”

Despite his predicament, the couple were continuously kind to him, asking him but making sure not to pry too far on his reason to go back into the past.

Toya thought it had been a childish dream. Maturity meant letting go of the past and moving on, yet his heart begged him not to, do not let go. Do not let go of your memories of the good old days. The memories of him .

As he stayed for an ordinary cup of coffee, the female half of the couple shared that she too experienced the time travelling-cafe years ago. It was how they got married, she shared so fondly. The girl, Miki, silently listened as they exchanged stories of themselves. Though Toya had been more reluctant to share, the company lessened the tension built in his heart.

Miki eventually spoke up, informing Toya of another time-travelling cafe located far up north in Hokkaido. Ran by her grandmother initially, it was currently watched over by Miki’s father, his cousin and her own cousin when her grandmother suddenly disappeared to the states. The mention of that country set his heart uncomfortably yet Toya tried not to show it in his face. 

Miki kindly gave him the address as the couple bid him farewell and good luck. As he returned home that night, Toya went straight to packing his luggage. Luckily, a flight was available the very next day.

—

Up on the hills overlooking the beautiful sea was a cafe that allows patrons to travel to the past.

Toya for his cold gaze and appearance, was once a strong believer of fate. That idealism faded out as he went through the transition from a naive teen to a dependable adult, but perhaps… he is inclined to believe in it once more. 

He let out a shaky breath. His phone turned on and held out with his hand, showing a picture with the same cafe in view. It was the background for the two subjects. Hand in hand, the dropped pretence of posing cool and professional were far from their minds. They were both in the moment, experiencing it together . 

Toya bit his tongue in an attempt to force his eyes to stay dry. Keeping his phone stored in his pocket, he walked towards the door, the ringing bell signalling his arrival. 

—

Sunlight poured through the glass windows, signalling the start of a new day with the usual routine. 

“I would like to return to the past, please.”

Toya had been the first to arrive, bowing towards the woman in the green apron. A young man’s voice greeted his arrival while another aged man watched from within the kitchen, and a little girl sat on a table and stared at him as well. It was redundant to expect them to react any differently than the group at the Tokyo branch. 

In Mount Hakodate, it was called Donna Donna , run by Miki's grandmother Yukari. As he had heard, she was nowhere to be seen except for her worker, the young man Reiji. The rest of the family were present as well: Yukari’s son, Nagare. Her niece, Nagare’s cousin and the woman in the green apron, Kazu. And finally, Kazu’s young daughter, Sachi.

Toya wondered why Nagare's daughter had been left by herself and not with her father to the north of Japan. It would be rude to pry towards another family’s matter, especially with one as odd as owning a time-travelling cafe, so he stayed silent.

He’s there for one sole reason.

“Are you aware of the rules?” Kazu inquired, staring fixed at Toya unmoving. 

“I am.”

He noticed Reiji and Sachi reacting in surprise from his eyes widening and the girl shifting at her seat to face the unlikely patron. Kazu is silent before asking one more time. “No matter what, the present will remain the same.”

“I know.” Toya pursed his lips, tilting his head downwards. “Please… I have a regret I wish to fix.”

A regret that continues to haunt his past, present and future. The past serves a bitter taste to his mouth when he remembers, the present with wintery loneliness that surrounds his every being, and the future knowing full well they may never meet forever. Throughout the passage of time, they were like mirrors arranged into a triangle to trap him within. No matter where his eyes land, they haunt and follow his every step.

“It’s possible to do that here, but…” Reiji trailed off before pointing to the only occupied seat within the cafe. An old gentleman with a top hat and fancy coat sat by, drinking his coffee with a book in another hand. “You’ll have to wait for that man to get up from his seat.”

Toya recalled this specific bit of the rule. The seat Miki had pointed at was one occupied by a woman with long raven hair, also reading a book. Both seats are occupied, was that merely a coincidence?

“Then, could I ask him to move and sit elsewhere?”

“That won’t be possible,” Kazu answered. “He’s a ghost.”

“...A ghost.”

“Yes, a ghost.”

“...Are you sure you know the rules?” Reiji cocked his head in doubt.

Toya quickly clarified, “I did. I just hadn’t known of the…ghost part…”

“...Would you like a drink while you wait?” Kazu instead offered, gesturing towards the signboard with the menu, as if to suggest that his only option is to wait for the gentleman to get up, some way or another. 

He nodded and said without a single glance at the menu. “Flat white, and some cheesecake, please.”

“Coming right up.”

—

“You know, you look kinda familiar…”

Toya looked up in surprise. Reiji, in front of Toya at the counter seat, muttered under his breath within a distance in his earshot. His musical background may have granted him good ears, but even without it Reiji is still only a few feet away from him.

“What do you mean?”

“Well… You know the rules of the cafe… so surely that’d mean you’ve been here before, right? Or even if you have been here but never knew of the rules, you must have been to the cafe in Tokyo then.”

Reiji’s surprising perception briefly caught him off guard but he still responded as gracefully as he could. “I have been here. A long time ago…”

“ Wait a second!”

Toya watched as Reiji excused himself, zipping past Nagare and Kazu as he disappeared to the back. Kazu paid no mind yet Nagare had the opposite reaction, staring at Toya with intrigue. As they waited, Reiji came back from the kitchen, a thick book in hand. When he flipped open the cover, the pages were revealed to be pictures within plastic frames. A photo album.

“What’s that?” Nagare asked the question they had both wondered.

The cafe’s location within a tourist spot, as well as its supernatural nature, attracted patrons of many backgrounds alike. Despite Yukari’s carefree nature, her heart remains right in the direction to help and assist those in need of help. The album is essentially a memento of those who seek comfort in travelling time, hopefully free from the burden of what has happened or the unknown.

He hoped to be a part of that group of people.

“Yukari likes to keep pictures of customers she helped or found interesting. She showed me it once, started going on with the stories of each person she had met. Some even dated back before I was born! It should be here…”

Toya’s head immediately clicked upon realising what Reiji meant by looking through the album. It had been years since they pulled off the event. Years of effort and discovery of themselves realised their dreams and they had been overjoyed. It wasn’t merely the capacity or response that mattered, but the feelings that connected them all on the stage. That had been the deciding factor. 

“Ah-here!” Reiji lifted the book and placed it onto the table beside his plate of nearly finished cake. “That’s you, in the picture, right?”

His exclamation caught the attention of some patrons, but more so of the workers. Nagare went beside him to get a closer look, even Kazu was curious enough to see Reiji’s discovery. 

The picture laid safe within the plastic seal, gleaming back at Toya. Mirrors he would look into as an adult were dirty, reflecting and intensifying reality. Staring into his own picture… It wasn't like a mirror, but more like staring through a window. A window leading to the greener grass.

He wasn’t the only one. Yukari stood up in the picture yet four, including him, were kneeled on the floor. 

Nagare looked at the picture, then back at Toya. “He does look the same.”

Though thinking of him hurts, the memory didn’t wound Toya as much. He smiled wryly, “This was three years ago. It was our first trip to Hokkaido together.”

“So it’s really you, but- why does it feel like it’s not just here I’ve seen you…”

“...Have you ever heard of Vivid Night Live ?”

That word in his mouth felt foreign, but it was necessary to watch the gears turn in all three workers’ heads.

“That name was all over the internet at some point, about three years ago.” Kazu inferred. “A musical group doing a live house tour all over the country.”

“The event’s name was that. The main organisers of the event…does Vivid Bad Squad ring a bell?”

“No way.” Reiji slammed his hands on the table, mildly alerting the others in the cafe. “I remember now- Aoyagi-san, right? You and your teammates came here three years ago, right?!”

Toya couldn’t help but chuckle at the rhyming sentence. “Aoyagi Toya, that’s my name. As you said, we held the very same event tour. Hakodate was one of our spots, and I came here before after our live finished.”

To be truthful, reminiscing those days were something Toya enjoyed, whether it’d be by himself or with someone no matter if they were present or not. Their lifelong dream felt so far away as teenagers with wide-eyed ideals. To stay so dedicated for a long time is in itself a miracle, their resolve is firm and genuine.

‘And in the end, it was my own resolve that dwindled… You were right in the end…’

If Reiji’s perception is enough to impress Toya, imagine his reaction upon witnessing Kazu’s predictions.

“Your reason to go back, does it have something to do with your members?”

He couldn’t lie his way through that question. "In a way…yes." 

Unconsciously, his thumb fiddled with the ring enveloping his right ring finger, rotating the piece around his skin. It is Toya’s method of expressing himself alternatively rather than through singing as he always did. He never left anywhere without it on for the significance of it had been too strong.

— 

Snowfall wasn’t heavy as he ran by the path overlooking the ocean. Running overhill gave him the workout of his life since high school and the sports festival he would often fondly remember. His heart raced, so did his legs like an automated machine. On top of the hill was a cafe, warm light glowing from within as he reached the front steps with the outdoor terrace in view.

DA-DING-DONG

The bell signalled his arrival. It was near empty save for two patrons. One was an old gentleman, sipping at his coffee whilst reading his book. As for the other patron…

“I’m sorry for being late.” Toya caught his breath as he strode over to him. “TIme flew past so quickly, I lost track…”

“It’s fine.” The patron smiled, waiting for his company to sit across from him. Behind the pair was the owner of this small establishment, watching them with admiring eyes. Toya did not mind her obvious presence. Perhaps he didn’t mind, or his own eyes were too caught up. 

Boldly, his hand travelled over the vintage table, linking his fingers with the other’s. 

“I missed you, Akito.”

“Missed me?” Akito chuckled, bending over to ruffle Toya’s hair with his free hand and promptly ignoring his partner’s complaints. “We spend one whole day not meeting up at least once and you already miss me?”

“It just feels wrong, you know? For years now, I think I’ve spent so much of my time with you that it’s now natural.” 

“Why, you… alright, no more sappy words! What do you think of this place? Pretty nice, right?” Akito eagerly asked.

“I like the atmosphere here. Calming, cosy… almost like home.” He voiced out his honest thoughts, his trust on Akito’s choices fully laid out and seen.

The latter nodded out to the owner from the counter seats. “I gotta thank her for letting us be here post-closing hours. We’re completely alone, well, except for that guy-” he pointed to the old gentleman. “But she said he’s cool, so…”

“You really didn’t have to go so far for me…”

“Toya, I wanted to. And besides, it’s a special occasion.” He raised his hand for the owner to see. “Excuse me, can we order drinks?”

She remained at her spot but called out back to both boys. “Of course! What will it be?”

Part of the reason why Toya and Akito got along so well were their complementary personalities, which extended to their taste and interests. Akito couldn’t handle the bitterness of coffee, his tolerance much worse when he was a teen, so he got himself a Mocha. Toya on the other hand has enjoyed coffee since that period of his life, and ordered for himself a simple black.

Toya wasn’t sure what Akito had meant by ‘special occasion’. They drank their coffees and chatted about how their days were spent. Something so usual and common among them couldn’t have counted as special, had it been the atmosphere instead? He didn’t let his mind wander for too long, the present was way too precious and he wished to enjoy it as much as possible.

Only when Akito suddenly cleared his throat did Toya realise. “Hey, can you close your eyes?”

“For what?”

“You’ll see, trust me.” Akito reassured, waiting for Toya to follow along. With a shrug, his eyes flutter close, waiting in silence for the surprise he has been waiting for long. 

The suspense barely lasted as his curiosity will finally be satisfied.

“This is a bit… sorry, I’ve been feeling nervous.”

“It’s alright, take your time.”

“...Open now.”

Nothing about Akito changed with his sheepish grin. When Toya looked down over the table, a pair of silver rings laid on it, its pristine colour glistening under the warm tones of the cafe.

His eyes widened, “These are…”

“I know we’re still young and all and that we’ve got a lot more time so… think of these as promise rings.” Akito sputtered. “I…really want to say thank you. For being in this with me since that day, for having my back when it was rough, for believing in me when others don’t. If I hadn’t met you, I don’t think we could’ve reached our dreams. I’m just glad that it’s you, so… thank you for being you, Toya.”

They've known each other for so long, the whole situation feeling more as if they're celebrating an anniversary. Toya is thankful for the life he lives in and could never imagine a life without his partner beside him. 

"That would be my line," Toya beamed, ears flushed red. "I hope you know how important you are to me too.”

“...God, we both sound so sappy…”

“Sappy or not, it’s still the truth.” He gazed down the rings with a gentle look, his fingers grazing at the metal to feel its cool surface. “Well then, give me your hand.”

Akito complied, bringing out his right hand over the table. Both rings were silver in colour and material yet had distinct designs that differentiated the two. One ring had a blue mark resembling a crescent moon as it curves at the uneven side of the ring. The other resembled a shining sun, the sun itself represented with a circular carve on the silver. Toya held onto the moon ring and carefully slipped it onto the ring finger.

The vice versa had been done as well, with Toya receiving the sun ring at the same finger he had placed on Akito’s. 

“How does it look?” He took both of their hands, hovering it up and side by side for a beautiful comparison. 

“It’s perfect.”

—

The old gentleman got up from his seat. Not a single footstep nor rustling of clothes made a sound as he walked away from the table. Toya’s eyes followed, until the man disappeared into the hallway and the sound of a door opening and closing shut could be heard.

He turned to Kazu, “May I…?”

“Go on.”

It’s just an ordinary chair, similar to the many others within this cafe. Toya doesn’t understand the importance and reason why this chair is the one to specifically bring you back. Even if he were to ask the workers, they shared the same response. ‘ It’s the rules’.  

To his surprise, the young girl Sachi walked in with her short legs, tray in hand. Watching her struggle brought out the urge to help the girl but a voice in the back of his head voiced out a strong feeling that this is part of the procedure. She placed the porcelain cup on the desk as she held the kettle with both hands carefully.

“Would you like us to explain the rules once more?” Sachi asked seriously, perhaps too much for a 7-year old. Toya sees it as proof that it’s his final chance to bail, or the risk is solely resting in his hands.

“I am. Don’t worry.”

The rest watched on from afar with the sole exception of Kazu who stood by her daughter’s side. He saw Sachi smile for the first time, announcing those words like a natural.

“Before the coffee gets cold.”

—

“A half-hearted guy like me… am I really allowed to stand beside you?”

“You’re not half-hearted. You’re my awesome buddy, who just thinks he’s in half.”

I trusted you and your words.

But I was right in the end, wasn’t I?

You must have realised it too…

—

The feeling of your own body fading and dissipating into the air, it's one Toya never expected to experience at all in his life. 

Like steam from the cup of his coffee, his surroundings blurred and disappeared from the white mist. His own sensations and himself slowly followed along, but he wasn’t scared. The effects wore out as quickly as it came as the mist dissipates. He’s back at the cafe, but the lights were of a warm tone in contrast to the dark windows, dissimilar to the white lights in daylight. 

“Toya?”

His head turned to his side, close to jumping out of his chair until he remembered.

‘ I’m really in the past…’

It was muck to say he was really prepared for this situation. A larger part of him wanted to believe yet doubts continued to plague his thoughts. That perhaps it’s the thought that counts and a spiritual way of setting himself free, free from the burden. 

‘ Or I’m truly cursed to carry this guilt with me…’

God, he’s really not prepared for this.

He’s not prepared to see him, and with a version that has yet to experience the future, a piece of knowledge only Toya knew. And he knew full well what it had led to.

Toya forced his throat to cooperate, a strained sound instead came out. “Uhm…”

He barely dragged out the words (what did he wish to say anyways?) before Akito made his way towards him, alarmed and confused mixed in one go. “Wha-When did you get here? I didn’t even realise you came in… and you already ordered?”

The barrage of questions sank his perceived courage down in a flash. He never truly thought it through what to say to Akito of the past. Would he lay out the truth? Apologise even if it couldn’t do anything?

‘ How would Akito react if I told him I’m from the future? ’

“I…I’m sorry, I forgot to text you that I arrived early…” Toya lied, his fist hidden from Akito’s sight clenching. ‘ I can’t do it. I can’t let him know…’

From the brief explanation, his partner’s shoulder sagged with relief and sat across him. He grinned ear to ear. It’s been a while since Toya has seen that expression. “That’s it? You don’t usually forget things like that…guess the live must have worn you out, huh?”

Toya nodded, attempting his best to maintain the same energy and sincerity in his voice and smile. “It did, but I rested well. So don’t worry for me.”

He brought up his fingers to graze at the coffee cup, relieved to find it’s still piping hot. 

“Glad to see that. I’ve been wanting to ask you about the event… it does feel like it , do you think so?” 

Toya knows full well what Akito meant yet feigned ignorance. “What do you mean?”

“This event with the rest, it truly feels like we have reached RAD WEEKEND ’s level. Not just the audience reception, but that feeling… it’s so strong I thought I might burn from the heat. Everyone worked their asses off and the end result turned out perfect. All of the performances definitely felt right. But…”

“But?”

“Don’t misunderstand, I like- no, love what we’re doing so far and I really do think we reached it after all these years. But for some reason, I can’t help but feel that it’s not enough.”

Not enough .

That may have been another core difference between the two. They know full well what it means to work yourself to the bone, but for Akito… that drive is infinite. To constantly improve and be better, he never tires from his efforts. Even when they have surpassed RAD WEEKEND , it would not mean the end for Akito. No, he would aim higher and higher until he reaches the stratosphere.

“But of course, the four of us will reach that together. We’ve done this countless times.” Akito’s eyes stared fondly at Toya. “I know I could always trust you, partner.”

‘I don’t deserve to be called that…’

“Akito…”

He doesn't know, he'll never know. "I'll definitely need someone to remind me not to overdo it. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?"

" Akito…"

He hadn't realised how far he had released his emotions until his view of Akito blurred and his partner immediately reacted. 

"Whoa dude! Are you…?"

⁹I didn't mean to get so emotional…" Toya sniffed, "But I can't thank you enough, Akito…”

“Toya, I-”

“No matter what, I was never enough.”

—

“ Get out… GET OUT!”

—

“ It’s true, I wanted to be by your side. I wanted to reach that dream together. And yet… I feel guilty. Surpassing RAD WEEKEND had been the start, but more were to come in the future. Because of you, I was finally proud of the life I led. You helped my doubts vanish and brought out the best in me. I found my way because I got to meet you along it…

So that’s why… I’m sorry.”

Toya loves singing, it’s a fact that stays concrete within his heart. But there had been a time where his dream stood conflicted, the surface it stays on trembled as it threatens to fall, and the antithesis of it was simply another dream. Drawing back to his idealism, it’s a want, yet it feels like he needs it to happen. With that, he continued.

“You mean so much to me, and the fear of losing you is far greater than anything else… I can’t imagine it at all, you singing with another partner or me finding someone else, it can’t be real. What I wish to say is…”

‘ I miss you…’

“...I hope we get to be partners for a long time.”

He does not dare to look up, does not dare to guess how Akito is looking at him. Despite his fears and the quickened heart beating loudly in his ears, a finger gently rubbed at his skin, wiping off the salty tears half-spilled across his face. He finds the courage to look up.

Akito held up his appearance just like the moon, where he kept them at a distance and hid himself. But beyond the mask lies someone whose potential burns brighter than anyone in the world, and he rises up like the sun. 

His smile reminded Toya of summer. The season of joyful moods and making memories with your loved ones. Anything with Akito gave happiness.

“Toya, you can cut it out.”

“I…”

“I had a feeling when I saw you have the ring.” 

The ring was meant to be given that day. Toya's eyes widened, frustrated at himself for not noticing such an important detail. He worried so much over the possibility of Akito knowing yet there was no point. How stupid can he be?

“The owner told me about this cafe. I thought she was joking, but to think I saw it happening in front of my two eyes…Hah.” Akito ruffled at his hair. “You seem older, how many years has it been?”

“...Three years…”

“I know you would never tell me what happened, so I’ll leave it at that. But Toya… partners or not, I’m glad you were by my side. The feeling’s mutual, so no more crying over it, alright?”

“But I-”

“Listen to me! You have been the best partner, and you still are no matter how much time passes. In an alternate universe where we met under different circumstances, I’ll still choose you. So whatever happens in the future…”

Toya watched Akito get up from his seat, stepping over to where Toya sits and standing there. He didn’t know what to expect, and then a pair of arms were over him, pulling him into a seated embrace. Akito lowered to his knees so that he may hold his partner closer, cradling his head in such a gentle manner. 

“You're the only one for me, partners or otherwise. Everything will be okay. Because I trust you more than anyone.”

He barely trusts himself, constantly looking through the mirror and noticing the imperfections while those around him flourish so brightly. To be trusted by someone you love more than yourself…

Isn’t that just pathetic?

He wished time would just stop moving. Being reminded of the coffee ticking at his life stressed him further. Yet Akito calmly let go, bringing the cup closer. 

“You might not have enough time, come on. It’s even your favourite.”

Toya nodded. “Akito…”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Holding the cup with shaky hands, Toya looks at Akito one last time, beaming with a calm manner. 

“I love you too.”

For the first time,Toya hated the bitter taste of the coffee. He couldn’t stifle the chokes from his throat, his eyes pouring an endless stream as the world around him disappears. The mist returns to whisk him away to where he truly belongs. 

Akito fades away with the time, the hands of the clock rotating away back to reality.

—

DA-DING-DONG

“Welcome- oh.” Kazu had her waitress voice prepared and said it in the utmost perfect manner yet died down when she noticed the familiar figure.

Dinner hours had just passed and the amount of customers dwindled once more. No new customers would come so late and especially near the closing hours but still she continuously does whatever work she can. 

Another customer has gone to the past, disappearing without a trace upon returning to the present. There had been some cases where it happened and usually that was the extent they could help. He looked at the cafe with tired yet content eyes. Upon finding Kazu, he strided over and bowed.

“Good evening. I wanted to apologise for running off like that…” Toya frowned at himself. "I came here to pay for my order."

"Of course." Kazu said, yet didn't move from where she stood behind the counter to the register. "Would you like to stay for another cup though?"

"...Is that really alright…?"

"It's fine." He heard Nagare's voice, coming out from the kitchen not long after. "You can pay for everything in one go."

It may seem like they were only doing their jobs, their reason being there simply to watch over the cafe when the main owner is out. But Toya couldn't help but feel welcomed in such a place unlike any other places. Although his journey should end here, he didn’t want to leave Hakodate just yet.

Similarly to the morning just now, Toya sat at the counter seat. He brought his head to look at the menu this time, a sense of nostalgia filling him when noticing how it barely changed. "Black, please." 

Since young, he enjoyed the bitterness and rich depth of coffee. He frequented Crase Cafe from the alternate world and Weekend Garage, Shiraishi Ken's cafe, sometimes by himself or with his member's company. His love for coffee meant he was the go-to customer for feedback and suggestions. Toya noticed the method of the coffee brewed by Nagare is drip coffee. He watched as hot water was poured into the grounded beans, the product dripping from the filter and into the cup.

On cue, the door swung open and revealed Reiji carrying two loaded plastic bags. He smiled upon seeing Toya at the counter. "Hi! Back for more coffee?"

"That's right, and to pay back earlier."

"I thought so. How are you doing?"

There was an uncomfortable silence, mostly due to the fact that Toya hadn't expected to be asked the question. He came up with something, eventually. 

"It still feels so surreal…but I did accomplish what I wanted. So yeah, I'm okay."

"Most people would leave the moment they hear the first rule of the cafe. Ah, this is sort of a personal question but…what happened to the rest of VBS?" Reiji asked whilst putting the bag of things away, eyeing Toya with curiosity.

"Vivid Bad Squad came to be when two duos teamed up with a common goal. Kohane and An were one as Vivids…and then there's me and Akito: BAD DOGS." He explained. Nagare delivered his coffee to which he mouthed a silent 'thank you'. "Vivids is still performing in Tokyo, and they're absolutely doing their best there."

Reiji let out a soft gasp, "Then that regret you have, is it about…?"

It has long been established that the strength of their harmony carried their performances to shattering heights. Within their duo is an inseparable bond, within a team doubles it once they are able to move past their differences. 

When one person is missing, that harmony can't go on.

Toya breathed out, clutching at the handle of the cup yet unmoving. "I came from a family of classical musicians, yet the strict path I was forced onto made me despise it, so I ran away. That's how we first met. He found me singing alone, and the rest is history.

He had a dream to surpass the greatest street music event in history, and soon enough I shared that dream. Akito was considered as the weakest link in our group, but they don't know the relentless practice he goes through, his determination to make his dreams come true, they know nothing."

"That dream came true, in the form of Vivid Night Live ?" Kazu's voice appears from behind. Toya neither flinched nor jumped in surprise and silently nodded. 

"A dream that started since our school days, we finally achieved as soon as we became adults. Not only did many people see us worthy of surpassing RAD WEEKEND, we managed to do so at a young age. 

Not long after, the both of us had been contacted…"

— 

"America… Taiga-san went there after RAD WEEKEND right?" 

"To think we got offered an exclusive contract by the same label…" Akito was overjoyed, his legs unable to sit still at the cafe as they re-read the email over and over on Toya's computer. 

"But they specifically mentioned BAD DOGS, then what about An and Kohane?"

"If we're supposed to meet them to negotiate the contract, then I'll make sure the girls get in on this. At the very least, we are still free to perform as a group, just that our duo activities will be under them."

Toya failed to suppress his own excitement just as Akito couldn't. Their audience could potentially broaden, so do the level of lives they could pull. The opportunity they came across was far too major and foolish to ignore.

"Man, does that mean I need to re-learn english…?" Akito sighed.

"Weren't your test results good during the finals?"

"Toya, I passed, doesn't mean I did perfectly. Please… you gotta teach me again…"

Toya laughed, "We'll have dinner first, okay?"

— 

"That's good news, right?"

"It was." Toya sipped a bit, the coffee burning his throat. "...They called it a tragedy."

"Tragedy?"

"Accidents on the road were common in Vivid Street. A musician we worked with went solo because his partner was involved with one and it left him unable to walk or stand.

I should've known it could happen to anyone close to me, or myself even. But it was too soon."

— 

"Aoyagi-san, do you hear me? Dammit- Toya! Stay with me here!"

Arata's voice seemed so distant. He could hear but he didn't understand a single thing he's saying. Just being in this car makes him sick, but he has no choice.

One phone call with Ena, and he truly understood the feeling of the whole world crashing down on him.

"Akito…" was all Toya could muster.

"That stubborn bastard is strong. You just have to believe he'll be fine…" Arata's voice went up just a mere bit, sighing as he noticed Toya's broken expression through the mirror. "We need to hope for the best, Toya."

It did nothing to calm his nerves and his fears taking over his imagination, terrified of what his mind was capable of creating. The whole drive to the hospital continued like that, in a daze with his feet on autopilot.  

‘He’s okay, he’ll be okay…’

***

Dashing through the hospital halls, they came across the Shinonome family, the air thick with despair and anxiety. Mrs. Shinonome had still been crying, lamenting over her son’s fate. His father, despite his expression as stony as usual, were harder and his eyes were unfocused as he slouched beside his wife. Ena could be seen comforting her mother yet she too deserved the same amount of support.

Toya wanted to offer his ear for her. However, the moment she spotted the familiar man from afar, she rushed towards him but with eyes of worry. He froze when Ena collided into him, holding him tightly into a hug.

Toya wanted to start, “Ena-san-”

“Don’t you dare ask me if I’m okay when you look awful yourself.” She whispered, clutching tighter.

“...Do you know what happened?”

She released Toya, holding onto the sleeves of her coat. “He was on the way home in a taxi. The driver was intoxicated and he didn’t stop at the red light and…”

“Where is…” It’s too painful to even say his name, as if he doesn’t want to acknowledge the reality. That perhaps it’s just a bad dream and he’ll wake up, in their shared apartment, to the smell of pancakes and freshly-brewed coffee.

The scent of antiseptics and disinfectant were too strong, too real.

***

—

“Lacerations from the broken glass windows, traumatic brain injury, spinal cord injury leading to a temporary paralysis,” Toya listed one by one. “Bruising, broken ribs and dislocation of the left shoulder…It was a miracle none of his organs were pierced and his heart rate was stable.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that…” Reiji whispered. Both Kazu and Nagare were silent, save for the crickets outside in their habitat. 

“He survived, that’s all what matters. But it wasn’t easy for Akito. And the deadline for the contract came close. We had no choice, he had to recover but…”

Toya downed the coffee in one go to ignore the quavering in his voice.

‘What have I done…?’

—

“ You want me to go…?” Toya couldn’t believe what he had heard.

Akito’s recovery is slow yet steady. At this point, he was still bound to his bed due to the damage to his spine. He trusts the doctor’s words that he will recover in time and physical therapy, he’s willing to wait it out no matter the length for Akito, but the victim himself is still full of passion. Determined to the end for his performance.

“You can do it for both of us. Remember Taiga-san said he’d be there to help us with the contract? I can’t move so… you should be the one.”

He’s smiling. How could he still be smiling? 

“Akito-”

“Don’t worry about me. Kohane and An will probably be here to make sure I don’t do anything ‘reckless and stupid’ in their words.”

“Akito, the doctors said we won’t know for sure how long it’ll take until you recover.”

“I can still sing just fine! Look, I can recover while we perform, we can make it work-”

“The both of us know that there’s no time to do that.” Toya responded coldly. “Your whole life is at stake here, Akito.”

“Toya…” 

He pleaded but Toya had already made up his mind long ago.

“I’m not doing it, We’re letting the contract go.”

“The hell do you think you’re doing? Don’t you understand what this will do for us!?” Akito raised his voice, eyes fiery with the same energy as his passion, except that’s not the case. A sense of unpleasant deja vu striked Toya, from his tone of voice and expression and the lack of people around them. Except that day, they managed to fight through it.

Toya hoped this would be the same case.

Akito continued, “Then- what is there to do? I can’t just sit here, what will you do?” 

“You say that as if it wouldn’t be the same if we went for the contract. I can continue composing, maybe help out the girls with their lives-”

“You won’t sing…?” His partner stared in disbelief. 

“...I can’t do much without you there. And besides, I can improve more when it comes to writing our-”

“Fuck, I can’t believe you.” Akito scoffed. “So that’s it? You’re stopping until I get better?”

Toya whipped his head up in shock. “That’s not what I-”

“Then what the hell is this? We got through RAD WEEKEND, we got offered an exclusive contract, and after all that… you won’t even sing without me!?”

“For God’s sake- Akito-”

“You’re just gonna leave it like that, just like how you abandoned classical music? ARE YOU DOING THE SAME THING WITH US!?”

“FINE THEN! TAKE THE DAMN CONTRACT YOURSELF, WE’LL JUST END UP LIKE GURNEY FLAPS! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT!?”

The silence is unbearable. He was panting after the outburst, still blinded by the whirlwind of his emotions. When the fog clears in his mind, only then

 did he notice the tears streaming. His own eyes were dry.

Akito was crying.

Blinded by rage, that would be the term for what Toya experienced. He didn't mean those words, he's sure. Then why did it come out? It wasn't like the drive to the hospital, barely aware of his own body. But the voice that spoke those very words belonged to him.

Did he truly mean it?

What has he done?

"Get out…"

His voice quivered, shaky hand reaching out to his partner . "Akito…"

"GET OUT!"

Not a single look, not a trace of acknowledging his presence. It was like meeting his own self before he found the hope he needed. The pain has taken over.

He dragged his legs to the door, hand hovering over the handle. 'Don't go…' was what he hoped to hear.

A mere fantasy, and he exits the room.

—

"That was the last time I saw him."

Not a single drop is left in the cup. Toya stared straight through nothing, stayed in that position throughout the whole tale. "I visited the next day, but he was gone. His sister informed me saying he left for America."

“He left just like that?” Reiji sighed, placing his fingers under his chin in thought. “Doesn’t it feel like he betrayed you?”

“I had, but the moment I cooled off, I realised I too said things that inevitably hurt him.” Toya admitted. He acknowledges his own frustration at Akito’s recklessness but he shouldn’t have been the one to lose control. 

The first time… They managed to see past their covers, overcoming their own conflict and strengthening their relationship in the process. He feared hurting those he cared for, so Toya withheld his tongue from saying anything else, blind to the fact that it has done worse. 

Singing wasn’t enough for Akito to know everything about how he felt. That cafe was a faux second chance, but ultimately it was the thought behind it. Not in this reality, but at least that version of Akito knows although nothing would change between them. The accident still happened, that fight in the hospital was unavoidable… but alas, he was able to be honest even if those words may not ring in Akito's head.

 At the very least he got to know in the end.

“...I’m sorry,” Toya murmured. “I don’t mean to overstay my welcome, I should leave now.”

“What would you do if you could change the past?”

His head turned to Kazu’s words. The whole time she had listened to his story silently, he wondered what had been the reasoning for her to ask such a question, especially from someone who treats and takes the rules as it is, not as an inconvenience most people would. 

“You mean…what would I have done with Akito?”

Not even a mysterious time-travelling chair can break the laws of time, but it wouldn’t hurt to dream, would it?

“Honestly?” He let out a soulless chuckle. “The very same thing.”

“And that is…?”

“I’ll tell him the truth. The fear I felt on the thought of losing him, how much he meant more than our dreams… I’ll be honest on how I feel. The good and bad, everything…”

He learned his lesson too late.

Kazu’s gaze fell sorrowfully. “Nothing we do could ever change the past. You can do whatever you need, say the right words or take action when given the chance, but in the end the outcome will turn out the same. However…”

Toya was taken off guard when she looked back up, her eyes reflecting something he had lost so long ago. Hope.

“Have you considered the possibility that the future may not go as you had expected?”

The entrance bell rang in the night, signalling the arrival of another customer. Kazu reacted instantly with her polite waitress voice. With the layout of the cafe, where he sat at the counter faced away from the door so whoever the late customer is, Toya does not know who nor should he care.

His thoughts halted upon hearing the voice that came after. 

“I’m sorry for coming late, the waitress told me to return at this-”

‘This can’t be real.’

He dared not to look back, his senses all on alert when the customer paused himself. The dragged silence could only indicate one conclusion. Kazu and Nagare’s expressions were unhelpful to understand the situation further as both said nothing. 

“...Toya…?” His name had been called out. So softly and in pure disbelief. 

Toya whipped his head fast towards the voice, with eyes that were close to tears when he finally saw the one at the door. 

His hairstyle never changed at all , the exact same style and length back in their youth. He had worn a red parka befitting for the cold weather with dark pants and leather boots. Toya noticed the absence of walking braces or the ones that supported the body during recovery. Both of his legs moved accordingly without any need of support.

“ Akito…?” He whispered, the memories he tried so hard to forget returning in a fast-forwarded play in his head. “It- it’s really you…?”

Akito himself appeared like a deer in headlights. He was trying his best to compose himself, inhaling deep breaths until he gave a rueful smile. “Hi.”

But Toya had been too stunned to continue this pathetic conversation. 

He dropped from his chair and darted as quickly as his legs could, pulling Akito in a sudden and tight embrace. Toya heard a soft gasp coming out from Akito but his grip only tightened. He didn’t care where he was or what he had been doing before. He won’t allow another regret to form from his own inaction. ‘ Please, please, please let this be real…’

When Akito spoke, his voice sounded strained “Toya, I-”

“Please…”

“H-huh?”

Don’t go, don’t go…

“Please don’t go…” 

He teared up immediately, clutching at the red parka and his head over Akito’s shoulder. Toya was barely aware of his own surroundings but his actions were reciprocated when his own body was enfolded with Akito’s own arms. In the cold, harsh winter night, his heart feels warm. 

The insects were silent, and the only sound clear to the cafe were Toya’s regretful sobs.

—

“So, it’s been a while…”

The calm after the emotional storm left them with an awkward silence. They were allowed to sit by the outdoor terrace by the workers of the cafe, most likely from knowing the whole story and understanding the privacy they needed. The main building of the cafe was completely dark, the only light source left were the street lamps that followed the trail all over to the cafe.

Even in a barely lit area, Toya could read Akito’s features so clearly. The cold air made his breathing visible, only eliciting a more anxious feeling in Toya’s gut. 

“..It has,” was all the response he could muster.

“I… guess I should explain what happened after that day.” Akito sighed, looking up to Toya, the way his expression seemed like deja vu to every event they had done. “It’s only fair.”

“...Where did you go, after the hospital?”

“America.” Akito replied, before adding on upon realising the implication of his vague wording. “For treatment, and rehab.”

Toya’s eyes widened. “I thought you…”

 His former partner nervously played at his sleeves, unable to make proper eye contact with Toya. "...We found a hospital that could help me recover better, so I transferred there. For the past few years, I have been living in America."

Toya…had no idea what to take from this piece of information. Until now, contacting him again after so long was a thought he could never go through without fear of the unknown possibilities. 

In response to his conflicting silence, it was Akito’s turn to ask. "What have you been up to?" 

"I…I've been composing. Sometimes classical music, sometimes for other musicians and media such as TV shows or video games.”

His relationship with classical music was one strained by the burden of living up to his family’s expectations. Just a sight of a piano or violin would bring up awful memories, and since then he couldn’t play nor listen. With the help of his friends and guidance from those older than him, he was able to mend that relationship. Slowly, but it had gotten better compared to his youth. His father too had gotten better.

“I see.” Akito smiled to himself. “...Do you still sing?”

“I do, not on stage.” ‘ Not since…’

The elephant in the room has yet to be addressed. While meeting Akito is already a miracle in itself, the air is still thick with tension from their sudden meeting and the lack of mention of that day. They disappeared from each other’s lives only to find themselves back at the start.

Kazu’s words rang in his head, “What would you do if you could change the past?”

‘I would tell him the truth, but you can’t change the past no matter what…’

“Have you considered the possibility that the future may not go as you had expected?”

‘Ah…’

Day after day, he obsessed over his mistakes that it left him in an enclosed space. A world with no light, no spark that leaves his heart wanting for more, a world without his partner by his side. He had to move on, working, teaching younger kids music and caring for his elderly parents, but could that really be called living?

The past he desperately wished to change, he has no control over what happens and it doesn’t matter. But the present where he currently stood… He has a choice.

‘ I need to tell him the truth…’

“Akito, I-”

“I want to apologise.”

The words in Toya’s throat died out, staring at the dark side profile with bated breath. Akito’s eyes seemed more tired, not even his practised smile towards strangers seemed any more lively. It was like a shadow loomed over his expression. 

“W-what do you mean?”

“The reason I didn’t contact you for so long… I was ashamed.” He admitted. “For being so selfish, I accused you of running away when honestly, I was the coward. I hated it so much. I wanted to sing with all of you, stand on that stage with us and the crowd…but that damn accident had to happen. I have never felt so useless in my entire life, and when you said that you wouldn’t sing…it felt like I was a burden you had to carry-”

“You were never a burden!” Toya exclaimed as Akito jumped in surprise from the sudden outburst. “It-it was my fault for not telling you the truth… That contract meant so much, but you meant so much more. Do you know how terrified I was when Ena called…? Every day I lived in fear, I couldn’t care less about the contract if it meant losing you.”

“Toya…”

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t the right partner for you.”

“No- no, no, stop.” Akito suddenly enveloped him into a side hug, cradling Toya’s head with care. “There’s no one else I wanted but you. Fuck, I can’t imagine a life without you in it… Even if you stopped playing or I can’t sing anymore, it still has to be you.”

“Please stop, you’ll make me cry again…” Toya chuckled as a response to the welling tears in his eyes. 

Akito laughed out loud, his voice sounded like summer. “I don’t care anymore! I found you again, that’s all that matters to me.”

Once more, Toya silently weeps in the night. For the first time, they were tears of happiness as he could finally break free from the past, to live and continue this happiness. His chest has never felt this light in recent years, wishing time could be stopped for him to cherish this reunion forever. 

Reflecting memories that were once his regret are restored to what they simply are: memories. And as of currently, he wished to make more happy ones with the intent to live the most of his life.

As they parted, Akito held his hand where the ring is worn on. “You still wear this?”

“It reminded me of you... I couldn’t let it go just like that.” Toya answered honestly, the gold markings of the sun were brightly visible even in the barely-lit terrace.

Akito suddenly unzipped his parka until the halfway point, revealing his white graphic shirt under the jacket. His hand slipped into his collar before pulling out a necklace with a cord made of polyester and the ornament being none other than his ring, the moon idly resting on the silver. “I didn’t feel worthy of wearing it after what happened…but like you said, I didn’t want to let it go.”

Toya’s fingers grazed Akito's ring, recalling the first time they started wearing those rings for the first time. “May I…?” 

He pulled the handmade necklace over his partner’s head and untied the string holding the ring. Beckoning for his finger, Akito gave his hand to Toya who held it with such grace and delicacy. He carefully slipped it on the ring finger.

A perfect fit.

Whilst still holding Akito’s hand, Toya leaned down to press a soft kiss on the metal for a period. He pulled back with a soft whisper, “To us…”

Akito watched with a fond smile as he reached out to hold his partner’s face. “To us.”

They don’t speak of what happened in that moment, the luminescent moon as their only witness to their heartfelt reunion.