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You always loved the Host Club’s garden parties. They reminded you of tea time with your parents back home. But now there is something else lingering on your mind. Something that clouds your sunny day outside. Something that makes all the joy and the laughter around you sound so far away. Something that keeps you from hiding your frown.
“Princess? ”
You look up.
It’s just enough time to see your favorite host, Tamaki sliding onto the white garden bench and sitting by your side. You offer up a smile- something light and pleasant and perfectly crafted when you need to keep up appearances. But the blonde right by you doesn’t seem to buy it one bit. No- his frown is too deep and his eyebrows furrow like he’s concerned. The princely aurora he always carries around him is nowhere to be seen. Instead, it’s replaced by something a little more human. A little more quiet and sad and relatable. But most of all, it serves to you as a reminder.
A reminder that things change. A reminder that nothing last forever. Not even princely, perfect boys who never seem to falter. Not even a picture-perfect family that swore to stay together despite every fight. Not even that.
“Tamaki!” You cheer, the same little mask you put on for all your friends and classmates and teachers slipping on in an instant. You lift the teacup from your lap with shaky hands, hoping he wouldn’t notice how the completely full cup almost spills a droplet or two onto your uniform as you place it down on a nearby side table. By the time you fold your hands in your lap and turn back to face him, you have to try very very hard to pretend you didn’t notice how his frown deepens and the concerned look on his face grows ever so slightly. It doesn’t work at all. “It’s nice to see you! I heard you were very busy today so it’s quite a surprise to see you.”
But you keep trying anyways.
For a second he doesn’t speak. He just looks at you- like he’s lost in thought and unable to escape. Just yet at least. It’s unnerving seeing a boy you constantly fawn over showing you his undivided attention in such a foreign way. If it were any other day, you don’t think your heart would have been able to handle such a situation. The moment feels like something you could have only dreamed of. Being alone in a beautiful garden with a handsome boy worrying over you. Showing a side of himself that he keeps away from other girls. All in an effort to address your worries and your fears. Sad eyes without a flirtatious line to follow. Thoughtful silences. And a space between the bench you both share that feels too small. Even if he’s refusing to touch you just yet.
But then he opens his mouth. And he speaks. And he reminds you why this moment would be your greatest dream any other day. But your greatest nightmare as it happens today.
“I’m never too busy to help a princess in need of saving.” He tells you earnestly. Too earnestly. Like he meant every word as his purple eyes brim the type of unspoken understanding you didn’t think you’d ever receive in a place like this. Like if you trusted him- he would really do what he told you he would do. Help you. Save you. Help you. Save you. You take your last breath before the fall. “...also, I heard about your parents.”
But you aren’t even able to pull your gaze away from his fully before you crack .
A tear slips out and rolls against your cheek before you can even take your first breath of new air. The air of acceptance that it’s really happening. That what you’ve been hiding away is about to step out into the light all on its own and sing for the very first time. And as that quiet gasp of yours breaks through, the first tear splashes on top of your hands as they ball into bunched-up fists full of fabric. That first tear is then joined by a little brother, rolling off of your other cheek. And then quickly comes an older sister. And then a mother. And a father. All the aunts and uncles and cousins alike come rushing in as the tears start flowing faster. And soon enough, you’re sobbing into your hands- catching the extended family of tears that flow from your eyes as all you do is cry, cry, cry .
You feel embarrassed. You feel ashamed. You spent your whole life being the perfect daughter in the perfect family. Your parents didn’t have to ever worry about you. You were strong enough to be who you are. You were smart enough to know your lefts from your rights. You were wise enough to know that screaming matches between Mommy and Daddy were best kept as secrets from anyone but yourself and the staff. Yet here you are- blubbering like a little tiny girl. Hating the harsh reality you knew was coming and will now have to face forever. Hating the beautiful moment you share with this boy that will pass by in a second. Because you can’t help but feel it’s tainted by your parent’s changing marital status. Tainted by their lawyers and their drafted contracts over assets and items. Tainted by the talks about what you’d prefer regarding custody. Tainted by your tears. Tainted by a lot of things.
And yet this nightmare?
“ There, there…it’s okay… ”
It turns into a dream. All because of one simple thing.
“ ...Cry as much as you need. I’ll keep you safe.”
Him .
“ Tamaki… ” Your call of his name barely slips out of your throat. All the syllables are shaky as your throat tightens. All the letters quiver as he reaches for your hands and pulls them away from your face. And his entire name spills from your mouth once more as he pulls you into his arms and circles his arms around your waist. Your head falls into his shoulder. His hair tickles your skin. Your arms latch onto his shoulders. You hold him. And you hold him tight. Because all of the walls for protection. All of the masks for privacy. They’re falling off. Tumbling away. And that makes you scared . Of what people will say. Of what people will do. Of what people will know . “W-what if…w-what if someone s-sees you here and-”
“ It’s okay, princess. ”
You cry harder.
You cry harder into the fabric of his blazer. He smells like flowers. You wonder what type of flowers. You wonder if you smell like tea. But all your wonderings and musings don’t stop the sobs and stuttered apologies that fall out like an endless waterfall. And your sputtered words and salty tears do little to keep Tamaki from squeezing you tighter. Holding you closer. As if the space in the bench between the two of you was too large for him to not conquer. As if the pain in your heart was too much for him to not ignore.
Because you both know that deep down, you truly did need saving. Just for today. Just for a moment. Just for as long as your tears could do nothing but fall. And a little after that too. But luckily…just luckily…
“ Let’s just focus on you for a moment, okay ?”
There was a certain blonde-haired prince in the garden, ready to play knight in shining armor just for you.