Chapter Text
As Tim was being wheeled towards an OR, he yelled back to Grey, who he hoped was still slowly trailing behind “do not tell Chen!”. He heard Greys muffled reply from back down the hall “ mkay your death not mine”. Tim was in significant pain but Chen couldn’t know about the emergency spinal surgery until after. She would come and sit and wait for him to come out. She would worry the whole time, just like he would have if it was her. Besides, with Grey out for the count thanks to a questionable breakfast who was going to look out for the station? Definitely not Smitty. No, Chen needed to be there. He just wished that his brain could convince the rest of him of that fact. She would be here soon anyway, as soon as he was out of surgery and Grey went back to tell her. She might even be there when he woke up. That thought brought a smile to his face as he felt the anaesthesia take effect. And for the blissful moment before he lost consciousness, he wasn’t thinking about the possibility of being paralysed for life when he next opened his eyes.
Pain. So much pain. The only thing that existed was pain. That and an increasingly irritating high pitched beeping noise. Tim tried to pry open one very heavy eyelid before realising that was a huge mistake. He winced immediately and squeezed his eyes shut as he was blinded by a bright white light. But not the clichéd white light, because he was pretty sure he was alive, and the pain pretty much shred any doubt that he might have had. After a few seconds he tried opening an eye again, and this time the light wasn’t as bright. He chalked it up to being more awake, but when he opened the other eye and blinked enough to bring the room into focus, he saw Chen standing the door with her hand on the dimmer switch. The shock of seeing her there quickly turned into a warm feeling that settled itself in his stomach and he felt a tired smile pull at his lips.
Tim tried to track Chen’s movements as she moved to sit in the chair next to his bed but it was hard to keep his heavy eyelids open and he ended up blinking so much that she moved in flashes “Mmmmm hey Luce” his voice was low and croaky but she didn’t seem to mind. Lucy scooted the chair closer to the bed and smiled at his rare use of her first name. “Hi” her voice was so soft it was almost a whisper. He felt rather than saw her hand move to almost touch his before it retreated to her lap. “Are..are you alright?” He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile, but he was still out of it a bit so he wasn’t quite sure how it turned out. “Yeahhhhh I’m goooooood” for some reason he couldn’t stop his syllables from stretching out but once he heard her quiet giggle he didn’t mind as much. She had that power over him, and always had, but his fuzzy mind wasn’t as concerned about it as his ever vigilant cop mind always was.
“Why..why didn’t anyone tell me?” Her brow furrowed in that cute little way that it often did when she looked at him. Man, he was going to have to get his thoughts in check before he said or did something stupid. It was already taking all of his self-control to not reach out for her hand. ”I told everyone to keep you in the dark” ”Why?” “I didn’t want you to worry” damn his fuzzy brain that let his mouth speak before he thought about what was coming out. He braced for whatever cheeky comment was for sure coming next. “So just to be clear you thought you might be paralysed but you were worried about me?” And there it was.
But she also gave him this funny little smile, one that he hadn’t seen enough of to be able to interpret but come to think of it it had made an appearance a few times lately. While she was watching his struggle before going undercover, which was really mean, because he was just trying to make sure their cover wasn’t blown. Or at least that’s what he distracted his mind with when he fell asleep to the taste of her lips still on his most nights. And it made another appearance as she pulled away from practically jumping him in the plane bathroom, something about them supposed to be hooking up in there, when he made a fool of himself by, probably very desperately, trying to stop her from pulling away. And he had seen it again, just a flash as she tried to rein it in after he told her that he had broken up with Ashley.
“Chen, you know that’s not what I meant. I was worried about the station. I knew that if Grey told you you would be here instead taking over from Smitty”. She gave him a massive eye roll like she didn’t believe him. He wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t, heck he didn’t even believe himself, but he had to play it safe. She couldn’t known how he felt. He strained his neck as he turned towards the scraping noise she made moving the chair around a bit trying to get comfortable. She crossed her feet in front of her and rested her elbows on the arms of the plastic hospital chair. “What are you doing?” He eyed her suspiciously, and went to rub his neck as the ache got worse the longer he was turned slightly sideways. “Keeping you company” it was said with a flick of her wrist in the air as if it were obvious. “You don’t have to” he wished he could take it back but she needed to know that he didn’t expect her to stay. “I know”. The relief he felt at her words was enormous, and based on the way her eyes flicked to the monitor beside the bed, she could probably see where the stupid machine had given him away.
“If you’re going to stay…..” he trailed off, not sure how to ask for what he needed. But the small nod she gave him had him rushing to finish the question. “…could you sit on the bed? My neck is killing me and I can’t keeping looking over there at you but I don’t want to look up so…” she didn’t even bother replying, just stood and lowered herself painstakingly slowly onto the bed in front of him. He tried to hide the wince at the slight jarring of his spine but he should know by now that he really can’t hide anything from her. “Sorry” but he reached for her hand to stop her from getting back up off of the bed “no, it’s okay, sit back down”. She sat and looked down, and it took him a minute to realise that she was looking as her hand that was still covered by his. He let go instinctively, instantly missing the contact that seemed to make the pain go away if that was possible and felt his cheeks tinge pink.
With a small nervous smile she picked his hand back up in hers and started to rub small circles over it. They talked for what felt like hours, but probably wasn’t even one, mostly about work, until a nurse came in. The nurse, Sarah according to her name badge, gave them a smile as Lucy stood and sat back in the chair moving away from the monitor but still kept hold of his hand. He gave it a grateful squeeze, which was promptly returned. He focused back in on the nurse as she was telling him that he would be getting another dose of morphine and it would probably put him to sleep but visiting hours started back up at 8 tomorrow morning. Sarah then turned towards Lucy and whispered that her shift starts at 6 and if Lucy was here then she would let her in. Tim knew that she would be and he made a mental note to personally thank the nurse after he was released.
The nurse left after administering the morphine, and Lucy moved back onto the bed. She was in the middle of telling a story of her time in charge at the station that day as he felt the morphine start to kick in. She realised and gave a little laugh as his eyes suddenly got very droopy. He only hoped the morphine knocked him out before he embarrassed himself. “Mmmmm holding your hand is nice” oh to be so fortunate. And the low croaky voice was back again. His eyes were now fully closed and completely too heavy to open so he couldn’t see her expression, but he imagined her smiling as he felt her squeeze his hand. “Mmmmm you’re…my…favourite… happy you’re…here.” His words were getting more and more spread out and he knew it wouldn’t be long before he was out. Lucy gave a soft chuckle and said something he didn’t quite catch about him being her favourite too.
“ I’m going to…kiss you…one day.” A smile involuntarily spread across his face, even with his eyes shut. “Luce, I…I..love…” and then he was out, snoring softly with his hand still in Lucy’s. He missed her whispering “I love you too, Tim.” against his ear. He missed the way that she tenderly placed his hand on the bed before Sarah quietly ushered her out of the room hours later. He missed the way she looked back at him as she was being forced out the door. But somehow his body didn’t miss the fact that she was gone and he slept restlessly the rest of the night up until she was beside him again at 6 and then he slept soundly for a few more hours.