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Katsuki likes cold coffee. Not iced coffee, though; the cubes would just water down the drink and make it taste overall shitty. But cold coffee. The kind that you can buy in bottles from convenience stores or corner stores with a quick beeline to the back of the store and back to the front. Employees at these places never really cared, unless it was someone who just couldn't keep their fucking mouth shut and thinks they could befriend every visitor who enters for a millisecond. He has a feeling these types of people end up running their mouths when they're held at gunpoint and forced to stash money into a bag.
It's just so easy to drink. And quick. Though it'd probably give anyone an upset stomach, you could chug it no problem the second it's yours. You can't do that with hot coffee, you'd have to wait first, and anybody who sets their eyes on him just knows that he's impatient.
He's a busy work-in-progress hero student who gets beaten up by villains every other week; he needs his caffeine as soon as the day starts and fast, considering the dumbasses who he literally lives with. Their mere presence is enough to give him headaches and lingering thoughts of letting himself black out right then and there so he doesn't have to deal with their bullshit.
(Okay, that may be a bit dramatic, but who's to say he can't up-play his woes to prove a point? No one, that's right.)
Oh, but Katsuki, you have such a perfect sleeping schedule! You're so organised in everything that you do! Why would you even need caffeine in the first place?
Because nightmares and shit, insomnia and bitches who don't know when to quit it with the speakers late at night next door, a rambling mind that sends even Deku's to shame, and just generally autism. Is he blaming all of his problems on autism nowadays? Probably. Who's gonna stop him? Not the neurotypicals that he surrounds himself (not by his own accord, for the record) with, that's for sure.
So, yeah, Katsuki may have a caffeine addiction, what about it? It's definitely not worse that Halfie's fucking tea addiction. Bitch definitely drinks more tea than him on a bad day, and that's saying something.
And he considers it more healthy because it's fucking tea, and the only thing you hear about tea is how great it is for you, how it's amazing for multiple different problems. Well that's bullshit, he says, because Katsuki can actually use some of his brain cells to conjure up a quick google search to prove that drinking too much tea can actually be a problem. But that damn Half n' Half bastard stays persistent in his delusions that he's better than him because he drinks tea of all things.
It was early in the morning, about 5AM to be precise, just after the sun started peeking over the horizon, and Katsuki has been rambling to Halfie about the literal proof on the very legitimate site Healthline-dot-com about the side effects of drinking too much tea. Quietly, of course. It was very early; do you think he's about to start a screaming match in the common room while there's eighteen people sleeping in the same building? (Actually, birdbrain is probably awake, that insomniac. He'll have to slip more melatonin into his drinks.) And plus, they've both been awake for hours by now. It's way too early for that snit.
There was a full list. One-to-fucking-nine. Yet Shouto couldn't pull his head out of his ass enough to even look at the phone he was practically shoved into his face.
"Reduced iron absorption, Halfie! Do you know what that means?!" He whispers, very aggressively, but with little actual vigor.
(Nope, he isn't going soft. Never with this asshole. Mm mm.)
The bitch tilts his head to the side for a moment (no, fuck you brain, that wasn't absolutely fucking adorable and fucking puppy-like, that's just the sleep deprivation talking, he isn't thinking straight), before his eyes strayed back to him, making clear eye contact but not even glancing at the phone for a second. And then - all while making complete eye contact, this petty little shithead - takes a long sip of his hot tea.
Katsuki swears he was gonna pop a blood vessel. Who cares about sleeping classmates? He was ready to leap across the kitchen island and blow this motherfucker to hell.
"I'm going to kill you along with your tea addiction, Hound Dog sessions be damned, he needs anger counselling as well."
Then - oh, fucking get this - Halfie rolls his eyes and pulls out his own phone, typing something up, before shoving his phone into his face much like what Katsuki was doing right now.
Caffeine's effect on the body.
Made by Healthline-dot-FUCKING-com.
Then, he points at one of the symptoms.
Irritability.
Shouto narrowly dodges a fat wack to the head.
This stupid, annoying, pretty, petty, smug, irritating Snow White lobster-faced prince charming.
(He only restrains himself because Aizawa-sensei might actually kill him if he starts a fight this early in the morning. Again.)
"I hate you so fucking much."
"No, you don't."
Fuck Shouto's pretty eyes, fuck that knowing look, fuck the phone that's still up in his face. He hates everything. Motherfuckers. He's gonna run away to become a villain. This is his origin story.
Katsuki takes an aggressive swig of cold, bottled coffee; coffee that Shouto outwardly grimaces at.
"You are addicted."
"Look at yourself, asshole!"
"I physically cannot."
"Fuck you."
He smiles sweetly, "You too, Bakugou."
Fuck this shit.
(Katsuki's gone for this man.)