Chapter Text
Suho wasn’t particularly a bad student, but he wasn’t the best either. By working so much, the best he could do was get perfect attendance. He thought that was enough and that his grades didn’t matter much. Well, until the teacher called him after class one day. He didn’t think much of it, thinking he would probably get scolded and it’d stop at that.
“Your grades have dropped significantly,” the teacher stated as if he didn’t already know. Suho stayed silent, half listening to her speech as she kept on going and going, half thinking about what he would eat for dinner. “I’ll ask Sieun to tutor you,” she finished. That last sentence brought Suho back to reality. Sieun? Tutor him? He reviewed his classmates in his head, trying to remember who Sieun was exactly. Suho wasn’t the best at remembering people. <
“It’s okay, I don’t need it,” he declined politely. Right at the same time, a boy entered the classroom. He stood there, not saying a word, looking annoyed or mad, Suho wasn’t sure.
“Ah Sieun, thank you for coming,” the teacher greeted him. So this is Sieun, Suho thought as he took a second glance at the boy. His dark hair was getting in his eyes, his posture was terrible and he looked like he was going to kill someone. For an unknown reason, Suho couldn’t tear his eyes away from him. He remembered now who Sieun was. How could he forget when his eyes always landed on him whenever he was awake in class? His seat is in a perfect diagonal to him, making it hard not to look.
“I’m supposed to tutor him ?” Sieun asked, seemingly bored. The teacher agreed before leaving them alone in the classroom. “Give me your number.” Suho jumped, not expecting Sieun to talk to him. After not getting a response, Sieun explained. “I’ll contact you when I’m free so we can meet up.” Suho nodded slowly before handing the boy his phone. Sieun handed it back to him and left without another word.
After that interaction, Suho noticed Sieun more. He knew who he was looking at during class, he also could put a face on him now. Sieun rarely turned around so all Suho could see had been his back. He noticed how he always had his earphones in and wondered what he listened to. He noticed how low his stamina was as he struggled to run. He noticed how he always wore a gray hoodie.
It took a while for Sieun to message him. At some point, Suho assumed he had forgotten and was good with that idea. He didn’t think he needed tutoring on top of everything. He was tired.
The message didn’t come for another week. Suho’s phone vibrated in his pocket as he was busy cleaning up a table. He took another thirty minutes before checking the message.
+82-4-487-0214:
Is this Suho?
Suho
yes, who is this?
+82-4-487-0214 Great. It’s Sieun. Tutoring session tomorrow after class at my place. I can send you the address or we can go together.
Suho sighed heavily, clearly annoyed. He quickly saved the number without replying. Sieun didn’t seem to be giving him a choice but he didn’t care. He knew he wasn’t going. His shift finished late and he was tired. As per usual, he didn’t go home, directly going to school and sleeping there.
And as usual, Suho got woken up by the light penetrating the classroom as Sieun opened the curtains. He groaned, trying to fall back asleep. It was without counting on Sieun who soon approached him. Suho tried to ignore him as his classmate stared into his soul. He closed his eyes for a minute and when he opened them again Sieun was still staring.
“What?” Suho finally asked. It came out harsher than he wanted. Sieun took one step closer, he stared at Suho’s face with an intensity that could make anyone blush. Suho wasn’t immune either. “Sieun,” he spoke again while rubbing his eyes. Sieun seemed startled as his eyes widened and he took a step back.
“You didn’t reply to my text. Did you see it?” Suho sighed. He wasn’t one to get angry but he really didn’t want to deal with this after sleeping for less than three hours. He quickly noticed that Sieun wouldn’t leave unless he got an answer.
“I saw it,” Suho said dryly. “I’m not doing it.” He glanced at Sieun’s face as his expression slightly dropped. It was the first time he noticed a change on Sieun’s face. It wasn’t significant, you really needed to look to notice it, and he did. His lips formed a pout that Suho couldn’t help but find adorable. He shook his head to get rid of the sudden thought.
“Why? The teacher said you needed it.”
“I have work,” Suho lied. It was one of the only days when he was free and he certainly was not wasting it with Sieun and even less to study. Sieun looked at him with newfound curiosity. He nodded before getting back to his desk. Other students began to arrive and they didn’t speak another word to each other for the rest of the day. Suho rejoiced at the thought he wouldn’t get bothered anymore.
A thing Suho didn’t know about Sieun was how stubborn he could be. The smaller boy came up to him as everyone packed up and left for the day. Suho had been sleeping on his desk when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He didn’t react at first but finally opened his eyes as it became incessant. Once again they stared into each other’s souls until one of them decided to speak.
“You have work now?” Still half asleep, Suho nodded his head, denying, not realising his mistake before noticing Sieun’s smug look. “I guessed you were lying earlier. Let’s go.”
Suho didn’t have time to protest before Sieun’s hand was on his wrist, dragging him out of the school. He took note of how strong Sieun was. It surprised him a bit as he remembered how he was in P.E. Not that he had particularly stared (he did), but he couldn’t have helped but notice Sieun then as he seemed to have been fighting for his life after running. It was only once outside that he came back to his senses, pushing Sieun’s hand away from him. Sieun stopped in his tracks, turning back to look at Suho who immediately looked away. He was angry and knew that the other’s eyes could make anyone melt. Yes, it would do that to anyone, he reasoned with himself. Without a word, he turned away and walked to his motorcycle.
“Sure, we can drive there if you’d prefer,” Suho heard a voice behind him. He jumped before turning around to see Sieun. He hadn’t noticed he had followed him. Sieun stood there, with his lousy posture, holding the straps of his bag on his shoulders. He looked kinda cute.
Suho rolled his eyes, knowing there was no getting away from this. Sieun seemed ready to follow him to the end of the world tonight. Suho thought he’d pretend to give the tutoring a try before rejecting Sieun again, once and for all. He took out the helmet from the delivery box at the back of his motorcycle before gently throwing it to Sieun. He sat on his motorcycle, waiting for him to put it on, which did not happen. Sieun sure was an annoying person.
“And you?” Sieun spoke, his voice so low that Suho almost didn’t hear it.
“What about me?” Once again his tone was harsh as he grew impatient.
“You’re not wearing a helmet?” Sieun looked at him with doe eyes. Suho unconsciously broke into a smile. He couldn’t believe that this tiny guy was able to think of someone other than himself. Suho told him he only had one helmet before getting up again and putting it on for Sieun who still hadn’t moved. Sieun stared at him the whole time and Suho wondered if the boy was cold as he noticed the red on his cheeks. They drove in silence as Sieun’s hands held onto his windbreaker.
Sieun’s apartment was tidy and silent. Suho wondered if he lived alone but didn’t ask. He didn’t particularly care either.
They settled on the kitchen table as Sieun went to take books from what Suho assumed was his room. He quickly came back, sitting on the chair next to Suho.
Sieun took out a few books, setting them on the table. He began to explain the basics of math to Suho, pointing out a few key concepts that he should focus on. Listening to Sieun was easy and weirdly interesting. His voice reeled you in, it was calm and soothing. After thirty minutes of trying to understand a problem in particular, Sieun explaining again and again in various different ways, Suho’s eyes closed against his will. Sieun’s voice became more and more distant as he fell asleep on the table.
There it was again. The incessant poking on Suho’s shoulder that irritated him so much. Couldn’t he nap in between classes without getting interrupted? Suho opened his eyes after the fingers poking him moved to his face.
The sudden realisation that he wasn’t at school but at Sieun’s place was mortifying. He swatted away Sieun’s finger that was still on his cheek and straightened up. Sieun didn’t utter a word, he didn’t mock Suho as he expected. He did what he knew best: stare. Suho squirmed on his chair, uneasy and embarrassed.
“I told you I was tired.” Suho seemed unable to be gentle when he talked to Sieun. Not that he particularly tried either. The smaller boy only nodded before turning back to face his notebook. Silence filled the room again. A few minutes went by like this, as both wondered what should happen now. Just as Suho moved to get up, finally deciding that it would be better to leave, Sieun spoke.
“Let’s continue,” his voice was soft, almost like a whisper. It sent chills down Suho’s spine with how low it was. He sighed as he got up from his chair. There was no need to keep going but Sieun insisted, grabbing Suho’s T-shirt. “We’re not done here. Sit.” Almost instinctively, Suho sat down. It took a few seconds for the words to settle in his mind.
“Wait, what did you just say? How dare you speak to me like that?” Suho was dumbfounded more than he was angry, although Sieun had the talent to hit his last nerve. He did not get a response, not even a look, as Sieun started explaining a formula as if nothing had happened. Suho did not listen to a single word, feeling his anger rise. He was tired and didn’t want to be here in the first place. Suho was feeling frustrated and taken advantage of as if Sieun seemed to be expecting him to just obey him without question. He felt like Sieun was treating him like a child, and he was not going to stand for it.
“Are you listening?”
“No,” Suho answered bluntly.
“How can you understand if you don’t listen?” He was calm, his voice was soft and he didn’t look angry. So why was it enraging Suho so much? He barely knew Sieun, there was no reason for him to be so nice and helpful. He had no reason to be this patient with him. Suho quickly grabbed his stuff before rushing to the front door. Sieun didn’t make a move to stop him this time, he didn’t follow him to the door either. For some reason, it made him even angrier. Fuck, he really hated Yeon Sieun.
Someone Suho hated more than Sieun was Jeon Yeongbin. He could never stand to see his face and even less his bullying. Seeing him bother Sieun made Suho want to do something. He wanted to punch Yeongbin in the face, in the stomach, kick him in the knees until he'd be on the ground, begging. To watch Yeongbin beg would be a satisfying sight. Suho would bend down to face him and he'd threaten that if he did so much as look in Sieun's direction ever again, he'd kill him.
After his last interaction with Sieun three days ago, however, he felt awkward to think this way. Sieun probably didn't want to be protected by him, did he? Suho felt a bit guilty for having treated him that way, he realized that his classmate had done nothing wrong.
It was just Suho and his bizarre, complex feelings towards him.
Sieun didn't speak to him again. Suho observed him from afar, out of pure curiosity for the boy rather than a real interest. That's what he told himself at least. Every time he was awake in class, his eyes would land on Sieun, that much never changed.
He figured he should apologize, although he wasn't completely sure for what exactly. Still, Suho was not a bad person, his grandmother didn't raise him like this, so he decided that it would be better to get this over with.
It had been six days now since they talked. Usually, Suho ate his lunch quickly in order to get some sleep during the rest of the break. Today, however, he took the time to go to the nearby convenience store to buy all sorts of snacks. He chose them carefully and took some of his favourites as well. As expected, Sieun was still at his desk, studying, while the others had already left to eat. Suho approached him carefully before tapping him on the shoulder. Exactly the same way Sieun had done to wake him up the previous week.
Sieun turned around quickly, visibly startled by the sudden contact. His eyes softened ever so slightly at the vision of Suho. He held the bag full of snacks in front of him, showing it to a confused Sieun.
"You need to eat to study well. I don't know what you like so I got you different kinds of stuff," Suho explained as he rummaged through the bag to show some of the things he bought. "Except this," he said as he took out a chocolate-filled bread and a banana milk. "That's for me."
"I like banana milk too," Sieun said as he stared at the small bottle that Suho was holding. Anyone could've confused this as a greedy way to ask for the banana milk as well, but Suho quickly noticed that wasn't the case at all. It was pure interest that sparkled in Sieun's eyes, still unsure of Suho's intentions.
"Is that so? I should've gotten another one then."
Suho watched Sieun as he took a roll of kimbap out of the bag. "Can I have this?"
"Of course, I got it for you," he said as he plucked the straw in the banana milk bottle. Suho hesitated for a second, looking back and forth between his precious drink and Sieun's confused eyes. Eventually, he handed it to him.
"Why?" Sieun asked, not accepting the food or the drink quite yet. "Why are you doing this?"
Suho sighed. He hoped he wouldn't have had to say it, that his actions would have spoken for him. In the end, however, there was no better way to apologize than by saying it.
"Listen, I'm sorry about the other day. I was tired and got angry for nothing. I shouldn't have left like I did."
Suho scratched the back of his head, awkwardly. Sieun wasn’t looking at him anymore, his eyes fixed on the food still in Suho’s hands.
"Hungry?"
"Yeah," Sieun said, lowering his head to look at his feet. "I don't think I ate anything since yesterday at lunch."
Suho's eyes widened as he pushed the food into his hands, urging him to eat. Did he really live alone? Was there no one to take care of him? The very thought annoyed Suho for a reason unknown to him. Everything about Sieun was annoying.
Instead of going back to his desk to catch up on sleep, he pulled a nearby chair and sat next to Sieun, making sure he ate as much food as possible. Sieun swallowed his food like a starving man. Which he probably was.
"That means you're still doing it then?" Suho's eyes focused on Sieun's lips as he took a sip of the precious banana milk that should've been his. It took a moment for him to register what his classmate had just said.
"Doing what?"
"The tutoring."
A sigh escaped Suho. Tutoring was useless, it was time-consuming and he didn't want to spend more time than necessary with Sieun. This kept repeating in his head, but then why did he nod as soon as his eyes met Sieun's? Why did he agree so easily without any convincing on his classmate's part? This time Suho was annoyed at himself. He wanted to go back and say no, explain that it would never happen. He almost did.
Two days later and once again Suho was sitting on a chair at Sieun's house. He wasn't even sure of how it happened, it just did. Sieun knew how to be convincing when he wanted. He just looked at Suho and the boy folded immediately. He told himself that anyone would react this way to those eyes. He was sure of it.
This time, he looked around more as Sieun went to get his books. There were a few pictures on the wall of what Suho assumed was a younger version of Sieun and his parents. He didn’t smile in the photos either. Had he always been this way, then? Suho became curious as to what a smile would look like on the boy’s face.
“Let’s do some English today,” Sieun said as soon as he came back.
“What do I get for each word I get right?” Suho asked, playfully. Sieun looked at him as if he thought of something very inappropriate, his cheeks getting redder by the second and his eyes avoiding Suho’s. Suho laughed awkwardly, not expecting this reaction. It was something to see Sieun’s mask slip, even if just a little bit. At school, he never lost his composure, it made it hard to know what he was thinking, but with just them in this apartment, it was easier to read him. Maybe the comfort of his home was the reason, maybe it was something else. “I was joking,” Suho clarified after a long silence.
“I don’t have much to offer. What do you want?”
It was Suho’s turn to blush at the unexpected answer.
To punch you. To kiss you.
These thoughts, pushing from the back of his head, wanting to be said, surprised Suho. He shook his head in disbelief. He didn’t want to kiss Sieun because he was Sieun. He just happened to have very attractive lips, he reasoned with himself. No, he doesn’t want to kiss him at all. No matter how pretty Sieun’s lips are, it didn't matter.
“I was really joking, I don’t want anything. Can’t you understand jokes?” Suho was back to his harsh self.
“No,” Sieun whispered, lowering his head as he played nervously with his pen. “I don’t, actually.”
It made Suho want to punch a wall, angry at himself.
He listened intently to every word Sieun said as he taught English. He was surprised at how passionate and knowledgeable Sieun was about the subject and was impressed with his teaching ability. Suho found himself enjoying the lesson, despite his initial reluctance. He was amazed at how quickly he was able to pick up the material.
They only stopped after many hours had passed and the sun had set. Sieun walked him to the door this time and right as he bent down to put on his shoes, Suho noticed something. Sieun was wearing pink socks with hearts all over them. It contrasted so much with his all-black outfit that he wondered how he didn’t see it earlier. That was a weirdly endearing thing to see and know about Sieun.
That night, while in bed, Suho smiled to himself as he thought back to it. Sieun can be kinda cute.
Nothing changed. Sieun didn't acknowledge Suho's existence at school and Suho always looked at him with curious eyes.
Just like this, a week passed. Suho wondered when their next tutoring session would be.
Three more days passed. Sieun beat the fuck out of Yeongbin. They probably wouldn't meet for a while after that.
Two more days. Suho couldn't get Sieun out of his mind. The scene of Sieun beating Yeongbin up with just a book playing again and again in his head. He had deserved it, should've seen it coming. Sieun was clearly not a person that should've been messed with.
Suho was afraid he went too far by punching Sieun in the face. He had imagined himself doing that a lot.
I want to punch you. I want to kiss you.
He never thought that he would actually hurt Sieun one day. He didn't think he wouldn't do it out of anger or hatred for the boy either. His only goal had been to stop him, protect him.
As if fate was on their side, Suho saw Sieun on the bus as he was doing deliveries. He acted before thinking, waving to get his attention, attempting to make a conversation. The words slipped out of his mouth without a second thought.
"Maybe we were a married couple in our past life."
And Sieun apologised. Suho felt wrong, like he was the one who should have to apologize. And maybe Sieun wasn't as bad of a person as he initially thought.
It was late when Suho went back to school. He was laying on his makeshift bed, unable to sleep.
Suho did u get home safely?
Of course, at almost two in the morning, he didn't really expect a reply. He put his phone aside before closing his eyes. It was only hours later, when the sun penetrated the room as Sieun opened the curtains, that Suho checked his phone again.
Sieun
I did, and you? Don't work too hard.
<
His heart sank, feeling guilty for not seeing it earlier. Sieun being in the classroom with him now, it was too late to reply. Instead, he decided to walk up to him. Sieun had his earphones in, as always, and took a few minutes before noticing Suho. He removed an earphone.
"I just saw your text," Suho said as he scratched the back of his head. "Sorry, I fell asleep."
Sieun removed the second earphone. Suho noticed that when he did that, you had his full attention.
"It's okay. Don't worry."
A comfortable silence filled the room in which Suho realised he should go back to his desk. Not wanting the conversation to end here, however, he continued.
"Why weren't you sleeping anyway? I didn't think you'd reply so late."
"Why did you text me if you weren't expecting an answer?" Sieun finally turned away from his notebook to face Suho who was still standing by his side. He sighed as he noticed Suho's defeated look. "I don't know, I don't usually sleep so late. I had lots of things to think about or whatever," Sieun shrugged, probably hoping Suho wouldn't ask any more questions.
He was smart enough to notice Sieun's discomfort. Just like before, he pulled a nearby chair to sit next to him, finally deciding that he wasn't going back to his desk.
"Should we have another tutoring session?" Suho surprised himself by asking first. It hadn't been in his plans to do it again, but before he could take it back, Sieun was already agreeing.
Suho noticed Sieun's socks as soon as he removed his shoes this time. He was even more surprised to see these than the pink ones with hearts all over. He was wearing baby blue ankle socks with frilly lace on the ankles. Suho smiled at the realization that he probably always wore such cute socks.
Suho kept his eyes fixed on Sieun as he walked to the kitchen table, noting the way his navy blue t-shirt hung off his shoulders. He couldn't help but feel a bit jealous at how effortlessly attractive Sieun was, and it made him feel a bit uncomfortable. He quickly turned his attention away and tried to focus on the conversation as they started their tutoring session.
Suho internally scolded himself for even noticing the attractive features of Sieun. He told himself he must be crazy to think they could even be friends. He quickly tried to push away his conflicting feelings and reminded himself that he hated Sieun and wished he would just go away.
“Is there something on my face?” Sieun suddenly interrupted himself, visibly annoyed that Suho was not listening to a word he was saying.
“Ugliness,” Suho lied. Even to his own ears, it didn’t sound right. He cringed at how childish he sounded. Sieun sighed, clicking his pen repetitively.
“Why don’t you like me?”
“You’re rude,” the answer came out without a second thought as soon as the question had left Sieun’s lips. He stopped clicking his pen. Suho’s eyes travelled from his hand to his face. It looked as though Sieun had been punched in the stomach. His expression, changing ever so slightly, became pained.
“I am? Is this how everyone sees me?” He finally asked after a moment. Suho was confused. Wasn’t he acting like this on purpose? He shrugged in response. It was common knowledge that Sieun wasn’t a very liked person at school.
Even though Sieun had been acting out in class, it was obvious that he was hurt by Suho’s response. He could defend himself against bullies, but not against Suho. It was clear that he hadn’t realized the impact his actions had on other people and was genuinely surprised that his behaviour had been noticed. His expression changed to one of disappointment and he questioned why he was seen this way, indicating that he hadn't been aware of the negative perception of him. Or maybe he had been aware but only ignored it. He never particularly felt the need to be appreciated by his peers. Something changed.
“We’re done for today,” Sieun finally said after the silence became too much. “You should go.”
As Sieun walked him to the door, Suho’s eyes were fixed on his blue socks. The boy’s posture wasn’t all so great but the way he walked was graceful, almost as if he was afraid of his footsteps making any sound at all.
The conversation played endlessly in Suho’s head as he tried to fall asleep. He didn’t feel like he had been wrong, but his heart felt heavy as the image of Sieun’s sad face appeared in his mind again and again.
Days passed by awkwardly and Sieun seemed to be avoiding Suho. In the morning, when Suho was awake early and it was just the two of them in the classroom, he wouldn’t even acknowledge his presence, keeping his earphones in at all times. At lunch, he didn't stay like he used to. Suho felt a deep sense of regret, eating at him. He wanted Sieun to talk to him again. He wanted to drown in his eyes that so desperately avoided him at the moment.
It was early evening and Suho was at work, but he couldn’t focus. All he could think about was Sieun, so he decided to text. Just to ease his mind. Suho when’s our next study session?
No reply, but the text had been seen.
Suho
are you ignoring me?
Nothing. Suho sighed in frustration. He didn’t know why he was acting like that, as if he was missing Sieun. He couldn’t deal with being ignored. Not by him. He decided to send one last text.
Suho
come on… talk to me. is it about what i said the other day?
Sieun I didn’t think you’d want to talk to a rude person.
Suho
petty
im sorry
i don’t think you’re rude
talk to me?
Suho kept checking his phone all throughout the night up until the moment he went to his makeshift bed. As he was about to turn it off for the night, his screen lit up.
Sieun Why do you want to talk to me?
Suho i miss you
Suho was too tired to think about his words, to even realise he truly meant them. His face hit the pillow and he was out.
The next day, when Suho opens his eyes, Sieun is already there but the curtains are closed. He's studying in the dark and as Suho realized Sieun probably did this in consideration for him, his heart did something strange.
About twenty minutes passed before Sieun noticed that Suho was awake.
Oh. He wasn't even wearing his earphones. Why?
He approached Suho first, leaving his desk to stand next to him. Sieun waved a little, as he walked closer.
"Did you sleep well?" The smaller one asked. Suho rolled his eyes, unused to being nice to Sieun.
"As well as someone who sleeps on desks."
Sieun's face drops. He scratches his hand nervously until it's red and almost bleeding.
"Right, of course. Should we have lunch together today?"
"No," Suho replied. He didn't realise how harsh he had sounded until he noticed Sieun's hand. He had stopped scratching and retorted to pinching the already red skin. He nodded slightly, ready to turn around when Suho grabbed his hand, the harmed one. He looked at it closely before blowing on it. "Don't do this kind of thing. Don't hurt yourself." Sieun nodded unconvincingly. Suho caressed the skin with his thumb, rethinking what he had said earlier. "I said no to lunch because I won't have the time today, no because I don't want to." And for once, his voice was soft, gentle.
Suho had picked up a shift at the restaurant he worked at during lunch to make up for not going that evening. Exams were nearing and Suho was exhausted, he wanted to sleep in a real bed for once.
All his plans fell through when Sieun approached him at the end of class. He asked Suho to follow him and he complied. Suho had never been able to refuse anything to him, all he had to do was look at him with his beautiful eyes. In the end, they found themselves in front of Suho’s motorcycle. He looked at the smaller one, confused.
“Take me home,” he said simply, in a tiny voice to which Suho made it clear that he wasn’t going to study today, he was going to rest. He wanted to refuse, he really did, but Sieun’s lips formed a pout as he looked up at him and there was no way he was saying no to him. It wouldn’t take long anyway, drop him off and go back home, Suho reasoned with himself as he handed his helmet to Sieun.
The ride was calm, and relaxing. Suho noticed the way Sieun’s arms wrapped around his waist when he usually held onto his jacket instead. He felt a pleasant warmth grow inside his stomach.
Suho didn’t plan on coming in but as soon as they arrived, Sieun held onto his finger and dragged him inside his place. Suho’s eyes were fixed on Sieun’s hand that fully wrapped his finger. He had never noticed how small his hands were. Cute.
He didn’t miss looking at Sieun’s socks as he removed his shoes to put on his slippers. They were white with embroidered flowers. Suho didn’t know what he was doing there, why Sieun had invited him. He sat on the couch as the other walked to the kitchen. When Sieun came back ten minutes later, he was holding a banana milk and a cup of ramen. Sieun handed them to Suho, looking down, his cheeks slightly flushed. Suho gave him a confused look as he took what he was offered.
“You probably didn’t have the time to eat for lunch, right? You must be hungry, eat,” Sieun justified.
“Did you invite me here just for that?” Unlike the other times, Suho’s voice was not harsh, it was low and soft. Sieun nodded before quickly disappearing into the kitchen again. No one except his grandma had been this nice to Suho in years. Sieun even remembered that he liked banana milk. He settled down on the living room table as Sieun had already left to get his own.
Suho was surprised and touched by Sieun's thoughtfulness. He ate the ramen, drank the banana milk, and they talked for a while, their conversation more relaxed than usual. Suho felt a warmth grow inside him as he watched Sieun blush and smile shyly. It was their first bonding moment, and it felt special. As they finished their meal, Suho realized that he felt closer to Sieun. He didn’t hate him anymore, even wondered if he ever had.
As promised, they didn’t have a tutoring session. Instead, they watched a show for a few hours, talking occasionally, until it was late and Suho had to go back home. He suddenly remembered that he had told his grandma he would be there tonight. He took out his phone anxiously to find missed calls and text messages. While he was busy calling her back, Sieun grabbed his finger, just like before, and walked him to the door. She picked up just as he stepped outside the apartment.
Then, as if it had always been meant to be, they hung out like this more often. Exams were only a few weeks away when they decided Suho needed more tutoring. Sieun sometimes went to the restaurant he worked at, and studied on a table in the corner while he waited for him to be done. After that, they’d eat and study.
Sieun usually woke Suho up for lunch. Sometimes he was awake but would pretend to be asleep so Sieun would do it anyway. The gentle pokes on his shoulder that used to annoy him were now very welcome.
Today was one of those days. Suho was awake, his head resting on his pink pillow as he secretly watched Sieun. He immediately closed his eyes when the boy looked in his direction. He did so too as soon as the class was dismissed. Suho waited for the familiar poke on his shoulder or face. Minutes passed by and still nothing. He opened one of his eyes, trying to be discreet, and suddenly opened both of them as he saw Sieun with another boy.
Suho felt his blood boil as the boy’s hand briefly found its way to Sieun’s shoulder. He decided to join them, putting an arm around Sieun as the stranger watched. Their conversation fell through as the attention moved to Suho.
Let’s go eat, I’m starving,” Suho broke the silence.
He expected Sieun to nod and follow him, however, instead, he removed himself from Suho’s grip with an apologetic smile and explained that he was going to eat with that other boy - Beomseok. As they left, Suho thought of his options, which were going back to sleep on his desk or eating alone. After a while, he decided to sit back at his desk. His head was in his hands but his eyes refused to close, all Suho could think about was Sieun and that boy. His hand patting Sieun’s shoulder and Sieun not rejecting it replayed in his head over and over again.
Eventually, he decided that he should eat too. It would be a waste to deprive himself of eating only because he was upset. Oh, yeah, Suho was really upset. As he walked into the canteen, plate in his hands, Suho quickly noticed the table where Sieun and Beomseok were sitting. They were sitting across from each other and without a second thought, Suho joined them. He took the chair next to Sieun, making a point to have them as close together as possible. Sieun gave him a confused look but did not say anything.
Suho barely touched his food, which was unusual for him. He spent the whole time glaring at Beomseok, who seemed to be laughing a bit too loudly at whatever Sieun said.
“Should we have a tutoring session tonight?” Suho suddenly asked, his eyes still fixed on the boy in front of him. He only turned his head when he felt Sieun’s eyes on his. His expression softened at the sight of the pretty boy.
“I’m sorry, I have to tutor Beomseok too now and we’re starting tonight,” Sieun said apologetically. Suho frowned.
“Are you taking him to your place?”
“Where else?” Sieun seemed genuinely confused by Suho’s behaviour.
“Don’t,” he said, gritting his teeth. “Go to the restaurant, I’ll give you food.”
Beomseok did not say anything, only watching the scene that was unfolding in front of him. Sieun turned his body to face Suho better. His hand messed up his pretty hair in frustration and Suho had to force himself not to put them back in place.
“Isn’t that our thing, though?” Sieun asked softly, an ounce of disappointment in his voice. Suho’s heart stopped for a second. He relaxed a bit, a soft smile playing on his lips.
“It is, baby,” Suho half whispered. The nickname came naturally, without a thought and Suho couldn’t get it in him to regret it. “But I want to see you and be able to make sure you eat well,” he explained as if it was his only motive. As long as Suho was alive, that Beomseok guy wouldn’t step foot in Sieun’s apartment. Not if it’s only them.
Suho smiled the rest of the afternoon after Sieun agreed. He made sure to pick up a shift for that evening.
The evening came fast and Suho couldn’t count anymore how many times he had gotten scolded by his boss for being distracted. He kept making careless mistakes as his eyes almost never left the table where Sieun and Beomseok were sitting. They sat next to each other, too close for Suho’s comfort. He really wanted to push Beomseok out of the way, sit in his chair, keep Sieun close. Beomseok leaned in closer to Sieun to ask a question on the subject, and Suho felt his fists clench. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest as he watched Beomseok's face get really close to Sieun's. Suho felt himself getting angrier by the second, and he had to fight the urge to march over to the table and demand that Beomseok leave.
Beomseok smiled at Sieun. Suho was baffled he even dared to do that in front of him, while he was watching them. Well, it’s not like Sieun would care anyway, he thought just before seeing him smile back. Suho’s short nails dug into his palms as he instinctively moved closer. Who the fuck did that Beomseok guy think he was? Sieun was Suho’s, he should know that. Everyone should. Suho surprised himself with his thoughts. No one would know because Sieun wasn’t actually his, but the situation still felt unfair. Sieun had smiled back and he wished he wouldn’t have. He wanted to keep that smile all to himself.
Suho made sure to give more meat to Sieun, putting only the best pieces in front of him. He tried not to walk to their tables too many times. He realised that he had no right to feel the way he did, that Sieun would probably only get mad at him for it.
They left at the same time as Suho’s shift ended. All three of them stood outside while Beomseok and Sieun kept on talking. Suho decided it was best for him to leave, not wanting to put up with them any longer. He didn’t utter a word, lost in his thoughts, as he slowly walked away.
Suho paused in his steps, feeling a sudden warmth in his heart as he felt Sieun's small hand wrap around his finger. It seemed like a thing Sieun liked doing. He looked down at Sieun, confused, a small smile creeping up on his face.
“Aren’t you bringing me home?” Sieun asked, looking up into Suho’s eyes. He was so cute. Too cute for Suho’s heart that felt like it was going to give out on him.
“Why don’t you ask Beomseok to drive you back home?” He asked, just to be petty because he wouldn’t have allowed it. Even if it still wasn’t a known fact, Sieun was his and his hand around his finger was only there to prove it.
One week before the exams, Suho picked up fewer shifts to study with Sieun. He didn’t care much about his grades, but when he had told his grandma about the tutoring sessions she had seemed happy that he was getting an interest for his studies and he didn’t have it in him to disappoint her. For once, he aimed to have good grades.
They were back at Sieun’s apartment after a long day at school, working on mathematics. Not only was Suho too tired to focus but it was even harder when Sieun stood so close. Whenever he turned his face to look at Suho, he did the same, wanting to feel the proximity. Their noses almost touched every time and Sieun always turned away, blushing. It was way too cute.
Sieun smelled good. He had already noticed before but ignored it. Now, he couldn’t anymore, as their bodies were so close he could smell lavender and wondered if it was his clothes, his hair or maybe his skin that smelled like that. He wanted to get even closer, to sniff him. Suho imagined his nose in the crook of Sieun’s neck. He wondered what it would feel like.
“Are you listening?”
Sieun’s voice brought him back to reality. Suho felt his cheeks get hot at the sudden realisation of what he had been thinking about. He shook his head a little, giving a non-convincing smile.
“Okay,” Sieun smiled. “It’s okay. You worked hard today!”
Why did he have to be so nice? Why was his smile so beautiful? Suho’s mind was filled with Sieun. Sieun, Sieun, Sieun, Sieun. His hair, his beautiful eyes, his perfect golden skin, his round cheeks, his tiny hands and his lips. Oh, his lips. What would they feel like against his?
As it was the weekend, Suho went straight home after leaving Sieun’s place. He had work the next day but it wasn’t until the late afternoon so he could afford to sleep late. He was comfortable in his bed when his phone vibrated. Suho turned to his side and picked up his phone from the nightstand. Sieun had sent a text asking if he arrived home safely, to which he replied with a yes. About thirty minutes passed before another text came in. Suho was slowly falling asleep and hesitated to leave it for the next morning, but knowing it was probably from Sieun, he couldn’t help himself as he picked his phone up again.
A selfie. Sieun had sent a selfie followed by a good night. In the picture, he was wearing a very loose white tank top. His eyes looked shinier than usual, probably because he was tired. Suho's heart skipped a beat as he looked at the picture. Sieun looked really hot, with his tousled hair and sleepy eyes. His skin glowed in the dim lighting and his lips looked so inviting.
!! 🔞!!
Suho couldn't help but notice the way Sieun's body looked in the picture. He had broad shoulders and a slim waist which was accentuated by the loose fit of the tank top. Suho felt his heart race as he looked at it, admiring the way Sieun looked. Suho felt his body responding to the picture, feeling a stirring in his pants as he stared at Sieun's body. His breathing became laboured as he felt a wave of desire wash over him, his heart racing with anticipation. He felt himself getting harder and harder as his eyes never left his screen. He wished Sieun could be there with him. He wanted to touch and feel his body, to feel his breath on his skin. Suho shifted in his bed, feeling his arousal grow as he let his imagination get the best of him. He felt his body throb with need.
A wave of guilt washed over Suho as he felt his hand move slowly down his body, his breathing becoming laboured. His heart raced with a mixture of excitement and shame as he imagined it was Sieun's hands on his body, touching and caressing him. He felt himself getting harder and harder as his imagination ran wild, his body trembling with pleasure. He bit his lip as he felt his climax coming closer, his body shaking with anticipation. He closed his eyes and let out a low moan as he felt himself reach his peak, his body shuddering with pleasure.
He lay there for a few moments afterwards, feeling the aftershocks of his pleasure as he tried to catch his breath. He wondered how he would be able to look Sieun in the eyes after that. Taking his phone that had fallen on the mattress, he sent a goodnight text, avoiding looking at the picture again, before setting his phone on the nightstand. He tried to erase the image of Sieun that only came stronger every time he closed his eyes.
!! 🔞!!