Archive of Our Own ^beta

1. Brenda 

“So, do you wanna talk about today?” Brenda asked. 

Brenda had come back home with him to make sure he was really okay. She wasn’t staying the night, but she didn’t want to leave him alone either. It was just them in the house, sitting on the couch. Brenda had thrown on some movie that neither of them were paying attention to. They’d both spaced out, individually trying to make sense of the day they’d just had. 

“About Jackson?” He tilted his head at her. He was still somewhat surprised at the fact that his neck didn’t even hurt. He kept moving his head and expecting it to hurt, before his brain caught up to the fact that he was totally fine. It seemed impossible that he could have healed that fast. A little corner of his brain played with the idea that Exer’s touch had healed him, that all he had needed to be whole and well again was Exer’s hands cupping his face. As romantic as that idea was, even he had to admit it was completely ridiculous. “I don’t know what got into him, I mean-” 

“No! I don’t want to talk about Jackson right now...” Brenda’s voice trailed off, in that way it did when she was really upset. “No, I was actually asking about what was going on with you and Exer, earlier? In the infirmary? Because Davey, I have never seen you look so…”

She didn’t finish but it didn’t matter. His whole body had frozen. He didn’t dare ask what? So… what?  He hadn’t realized one of his hands had clenched into a fist until he felt his nails pushing against his skin, biting into his own hand. He kept his eyes fixed on the tv in front of him. What would Brenda see, if he looked her in the eye right now? What would he see in her?

“Davey…” Brenda said, and she said it so softly, her voice made of feathers. The fight that had been taking place on screen suddenly froze, the grunts and yells cut off abruptly by Brenda pausing the movie. “Davey, will you look at me?” 

He didn’t want to. He really, really didn’t want to see how she looked at him, how she pitied him or thought he was something awful, something inhuman . But this was Brenda, and he would do anything for Brenda.

So he turned his face towards her, and met her eyes. 

She was smiling . She was smiling at him . He didn’t know what to do. How was he supposed to react to this? Did she even know? Had he been panicking over nothing? 

“Davey,” She said, and her voice was still soft, like she was trying not to scare him. He wondered what he looked like right then, for her to be talking like that. Probably like a stray cat that got stuck in the rain. “Are you in love?”

Fuck 

He felt himself flinch backwards, his arm banging up against the arm rest. He hadn’t expected her to just… say it like that. How could she say it while smiling like that? How could she say it without looking at him and thinking ugh weird ? 

In love. Of course he was in love, he’d been in love for at least two years, maybe more. Why had it gotten so much worse recently, so much more intense, so much harder to hide? He’d been in love for so long it was hard to remember what it had felt like, to stand next to Exer and not be in love. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay,” Brenda said. She had resettled herself so she was kneeling on the couch, and she leaned forward now, her hand slowly coming to rest on top of one of his. “It’s alright Davey. You’re okay. I didn’t mean to spook you, I just wanted you to know you can talk to me, if you need.” 

“I…” He started, but his mind was blank and there were no words to say because this wasn’t what he had expected. He had braced himself for so many bad scenarios he didn’t even know what to say in the good ones. 

Brenda was watching him, soft eyes and soft smile, like she was waiting for him to continue. So he tried again. 

“I - Exer - boys - but girls - Wait,” He said, dragging the hand Brenda wasn’t holding over his eyes and down his face. Weirdly enough, he felt like laughing. Something was bubbling up in his stomach, rising up his chest, warming his heart and making his body shake with barely held-in-laughter. “Wait, let me try again.”  

Brenda was trying not to laugh as well, her shoulders bouncing and her other hand covering her mouth. 

“I like girls,” He said, and he took a deep breath before continuing. “And boys. Lots of boys. Specifically…” He paused, watching her. He didn’t know why. It was obvious that she knew. She’d literally asked if he was in love, so why was it still so hard to say? Why did the name catch at his throat, unwilling to leave the home it had built itself in his foolish heart?

She waited a few more seconds, and when he didn’t continue she said, “Your best friend?” 

He nodded. He could feel his face heating up, and that just made him think of the way Exer had held his face earlier, of Exer’s palms against his skin, Exer’s eyes right in front of his, gold amber staring into his soul. Now his face was just heating up more. 

Brenda was watching him with a faintly amused, horribly sappy smile on her face. It was sweet, until she opened her mouth. “So does this mean all those times you made me watch those movies with Brad Pitt and laughed at me when I said he was hot, you’ve secretly agreed with me this whole time?” 

“Shut up!” He squeaked, covering his face with his hands. 

“Oh my god you have!” She yelled, scooting closer and clapping her hand on his shoulders.  “David we need to watch sooo many movies together! Now we can bond over all the hot actors!”

“Sugar, Brenda,” He said, but somehow there was laughter in his voice. He lowered his hands and was faced with Brenda’s face right in front of his. “Are you… sure?”

There were layers in that question, layers that went down, deep down into the depths of who he was. Are you sure you’re okay with this part of me? Are you sure you want to talk about it so freely? Are you sure it doesn’t freak you out? Are you sure you won’t take this back later, when it gets too much? Are you sure you can still love me like this? 

He couldn’t say any of that outloud, but she heard it anyway. This was Brenda, after all. They always had been good at that physic twin communication junk people went on about.

“I’m sure,” She said, and she was smiling so sweetly, it was impossible for him not to smile back. His lips curled up, and he knew he was smiling the big kind of smile, the one that cracks open your face and pours all your happiness out onto your hands and neck and shirt for the world to see .

He had no idea this was possible. How was this possible? That someone could know, that Brenda could know, and they could still smile like this at each other, still make plans with each other, still laugh with each other. She wanted to watch movies with him now, just to talk about boys. It seemed crazy, like some wild fantasy his brain had made up. It didn’t seem real. 

But it was, somehow. Against all odds, it was possible, it was real. It made him wonder what else could be real, what other impossible things might happen. 

2. Ron 

He was sitting on Exer’s couch, Ron on one side of him and Exer on the other. They had put on some crappy looking horror movie Ron had found at the bottom of Exer’s pile of tapes. So far it had lived up to their expectations. 

Which just meant it was as bad as it looked. 

It was hilarious though to make fun of the obviously bad decisions the characters were making. 

“Let’s split up!” The generic (only slightly handsome) male lead said. David could tell the actors were actually trying to give it their all with the bad script they’d been given, which somehow just managed to make the movie even funnier . 

“No John!” The (much prettier) woman cried, “Don’t leave me here alone!” 

“Stupid,” Ron said, “Should just go back way they came. Why go further?” 

“I know right!” He agreed, flinging his arms in the air. “I mean how silly do you have to be-” 

He was cut off by the sudden weight on his right side. He froze for a moment before slowly turning his head to look. 

Oh sugar

Exer had fallen asleep, and in his sleep he’d somehow managed to slump down onto David. Exer’s whole upper body was leaning against David’s side, and even through both their shirts he could feel the warmth Exer radiated. He was painfully aware of everywhere Exer’s body was touching his, of how Exer’s chest rose with every breath, moving against his side. Exer’s head was resting on his chest, the tiniest bit of drool slipping from his mouth. Exer’s hair was in disarray, and he could feel it brushing against his neck. 

It was too much and not enough at the same time. 

Somehow, even like this, he wanted more. He wanted to be able to run his hands through Exer’s hair, to bury his face in it, and soak up the feeling of knowing he was safe and loved and warm. He wanted to be able to slip an arm around Exer’s waist and just to hold him. Not even to pull him closer, just to feel Exer and know that they fit, that they belonged together . 

He still had his arms up in the air. 

“Um,” he said, and then immediately felt stupid for saying that. 

“David uncomfortable?” Ron asked, “Want me to move Exer?” 

“No!” he said, his head snapping around to face Ron. His voice had apparently decided to go ahead and speak without getting clearance from his brain first. “I mean- I’m fine - it’s all good. He used to do this tons when we were kids as well. I’m pretty sure he didn’t make it through a whole movie until like, freshman.”

As he spoke he lowered his arms slowly, one coming to rest beside him, and the other wrapping around Exer’s shoulders. Exer made a little noise in his sleep and shoved his face into David’s neck, resting his head on David’s shoulder. He could feel Exer’s breath as he inhaled and exhaled, releasing little puffs of air against his neck. 

Oh sugar. 

He was pretty sure his whole face must be red. Ron was right there , staring at him, and god, they all knew Ron was perceptive. He was always pointing out people at lunch, picking out who was copying whose style and who secretly wished they were on the team, not to mention who had a crush on who. 

He braced himself, tightening his arm around Exer just a bit. If Ron was going to yell, or stomp, or hit him, he would take it. But Exer shouldn’t have to. It wasn’t Exer’s fault that he was completely and utterly attractive and unfairly sweet and kind and lovable and- …he was going to stop now, before he got completely lost on that train of thought. 

If Ron saw the way David had tensed, he didn’t react. Ron’s face had gone soft, and his eyes glimmered as if he’d figured out the last piece of the puzzle he’d been putting together. The puzzle of Exer and David.

 David wished he knew what the puzzle looked like when it was finished. He felt like he’d been given the pieces, but when he put them all together it turned out half of them were still missing. Not to mention the fact that the puzzle looked totally different from the picture society had handed him at the beginning. 

“David,” Ron said, “like Exer?” 

“Yeah,” He sighed, “I like Exer.” 

It was weirdly freeing to say out loud. I like Exer . It had circled around in his head so often, along with this is bad and this is wrong and I shouldn’t feel like this and dad will hate me for this and what if Exer hates me for this? What if Mom hates me? . I like Exer . It was there, always, echoing around his head at school and at home and in Exer’s car, the constant awareness of how wrong he was, but also how right it felt when Exer was there, with an arm around his shoulder or a smile directed right at him. I like Exer . 

“Good match,” Ron nodded, “cute together.”

“Wha-” he tried to say, sputtering, “You mean, you’re not like, grossed out or anything?” 

A good match 

He had never thought, in all his wildest dreams, that someone would say that he and Exer were a good match. 

“Why be grossed out?” Ron asked, “Obviously adorable. Very sweet.The world just stupid to say gross.” 

He could feel his smile stretch across his face and his body relaxed into the couch. 

Adorable. Sweet. 

All the words he thought he would never get to be called, not with Exer. 

He could feel the tears well up in his eyes, and he blinked a couple times to try and dispel them. It didn’t work. It never did. 

A long time ago, his father had tried to teach him that boys didn’t cry. It had never worked. Again and again his father had told him not to cry, told him to be tough, to suck it up, to keep going. Again and again he cried, the tears slipping down his face. He cried when he fell and skinned his knee, he cried when Brenda had accidentally broken his favorite toy. When he had stolen Brenda’s doll in revenge, he cried when he gave it back, sorry that he’d taken it and made her cry. 

But everytime after his father had finished lecturing him, his mom would come up to him, and behind his dad’s back, she would whisper to him that crying wasn’t weak. There was nothing wrong with him, he was perfect and he always would be. She said that crying just meant he had a big heart, and the world needed people with big hearts.

That was when he had first begun to realize that his dad’s love was conditional, available only to the perfect son. That was also when he learned that his mom was probably the best person on earth, and definitely the person with the biggest heart. 

He could feel the tears slipping down his face now when he agreed, “Yeah. The world is stupid, isn’t it?” 

He shifted his arm around Exer slightly, feeling Exer’s chest expand and contract. Exer’s back pushed up into his hand as he said, “but the world is still the world.”

“The world change,” Ron said. Ron’s hand came up, brushing away the tears from his cheeks. David blinked. He hadn’t ever imagined that Ron would still be that comfortable with David once he knew. He had expected disgust, or hatred, or disappointment. At best he’d expected at least a distance in their friendship, a distrust, a worry that things would never be the same because Ron would always be worried that David was looking at him, looking the way guys weren’t supposed to look at other guys. 

“Until then,” Ron continued, his hand landing on David’s shoulder, “Me, Brenda, Pamela and Exer will be world for you.” 

“Ron…” David said. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know how he could possibly convey how grateful he was, how stunned and wonderfilled he felt. He was pretty sure he was crying again. “I think you might have just tied with my mom for having the biggest, sweetest heart in the world. I would totally give you a big hug right now if I wasn’t being used as a pillow.” 

“Hug later,” Ron agreed, with a little laugh. David laughed with him, letting go of all his doubt and worry for at least a moment. He wiped the rest of the tears off his face, and then rubbed his hand all over Ron’s shirt, laughing when Ron growled at him. 

“If you weren’t pillow right now-” Ron threatened, but David kept laughing. He knew it was a joke. He didn’t understand how anyone could ever be scared of Ron. He was a total softy. Exactly the kind of person the world needed. 

He was cut off mid-laugh by Exer’s arm coming up across his chest to grip onto his shoulder, opposite from where Exer’s head lay. Exer murmured something quiet into his neck, before settling down again.

“Oh my god,” David breathed. He couldn’t move, frozen under the feeling of Exer. It felt like Exer was everywhere, all around him. He was pretty sure the only possible way for Exer to be even closer than he already was was if Exer literally straddled him (And wasn’t that a thought? Exer’s legs on either side of him, their chests pressed together, Exer’s hands on David’s arms, David’s hands on Exer’s waist, Exer’s mouth pressed into his- enough David, enough!). There were goosebumps on his neck and arms, left there from the shiver that had gone through him when Exer’s lips had moved against his neck, forming incomprehensible sleepy words.

“Wish I had camera,” Ron said, looking at them thoughtfully. 

“No!” David whispered, “Are you kidding? What would Exer say if he saw them? Ron no-”

He spoke quietly, afraid any movement or loud noises would startle Exer or cause him to change positions again. David was perfectly happy in this position. Maybe a bit too happy, by society's standards. But when he was here, sitting with Ron, maybe society's standards didn’t matter. After all, his world was perfectly happy. His world was currently attempting to find a camera by rummaging around in Exer’s living room drawers. 

His world was pretty awesome. 

3. Jackson 

He was sitting with Pam and Bre on a bench in the school yard when Jackson came up to them. It had only been around a week since Jackson had fought with Exer.

“Pam, can I talk to you?” Jackson asked. His shoulders were hunched, and his hands were stuffed into the pocket of the hoodie he was wearing. He had bags under his eyes and it was obvious he hadn’t been sleeping that well. 

Good, he deserves it, he thought, his thoughts sharp and pointed, he deserves it for what he did to Exer. 

“I don’t want to talk to you right now,” Pam said, glaring full force at Jackson. She picked up her bag and stood up, turning to walk into the school. “I’ll see you guys in class.”

“See you!” Bre called after her, twisting her body around to wave at Pam as she left. 

“Wait, Pam!” Jackson called, and he stepped forward as if to follow her, which was not going to happen, not on David’s watch. He shoved himself in front of Jackson, cutting him off from Pam’s retreating figure. 

“She said she doesn’t want to talk to you, jerk,” he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He was trying to look intimidating, but he never knew if it worked or not. He had a feeling he was too skinny and sunshiney for most people to be scared of him. 

“Whatever,” Jackson said, glaring up at him, and geez, Jackson’s glare was almost as deadly as Pam’s. If looks could kill they’d be murderers. “You’re just mad cause I knocked you out.” 

“Sure dude,” he said, and he knew he shouldn’t bait Jackson, but he couldn’t help it, not after Jackson had jumped Exer like that. “It’s definitely that and not the fact that you beat the crap out of Exer.”  

He could feel Brenda’s concerned gaze on his back, telling him to back down, to be careful, that they didn’t know what Jackson was capable of. He felt it, and he kept going anyway, because this wasn’t about him, this was about Exer. 

“You think you’re so mighty, fighting for Exer,” Jackson snapped back, “Don’t you? You don’t even care that he’s been lying! He’s been keeping a secret from you his whole life and you don’t even care!” 

“Why should I believe you?” He snapped back. He was trying not to show how his stomach had sunk down to his feet, how heavy his legs felt at the idea that Exer would keep something from him, that Exer didn’t trust him. What in the world could make Exer feel like he had to hide from him, from his best friend? Even if Exer didn’t know the level of of love David held for him ( much too much love, love that felt like it went down so many layers, love that was tangled right into the core of who he was ), didn’t Exer at least know he’d be there, right beside him, no matter what?

Jackson snorted at his question and tilted his chin up, as if he was so much better, had so much more understanding that David ever would. As he did, his eyes flashed, and sugar, it was suddenly obvious this was more than a squabble. Jackson actually hated Exer. It was there in his eyes and the way he held his shoulders. This was personal to Jackson. 

“It doesn’t matter if you believe me or not, does it?” Jackson asked as he took a step forward, crowding into David’s space. “I know you’d never leave Exer, even if I told you. That’s just how you are, isn’t it?” 

There was something too knowing in Jackson’s eyes, something that made David want to take a step backwards. Something that made him want to run, or hide. Something that made him simultaneously want to hug Exer while also making sure there was an obvious amount of space between, enough space that he could confidently say Look, see, we’re not gay! Nothing to see here move along and please don’t hit me.

“Back off Jackson,” Brenda said, and she was suddenly standing between them, forcing Jackson to take a step back.

“Aww, cute,” Jackson said, his eyes boring over Brenda’s shoulder and right into David’s, “at least you’ve got one person who doesn’t think you’re a freak. I wonder what Exer would say-” 

David couldn’t help it, he flinched back.

“Jackson!” Brenda yelled, and her voice was fire, all fire, blazing and bright, attracting attention from all over the courtyard, “Leave David alone!”

Everyone in the yard had frozen, heads turned to watch what was happening. David didn’t think he’d ever heard Brenda yell like that, loud and fierce enough that the whole world would stop for her. Even now, in this mess of a situation, he couldn’t help the way his chest swelled with pride for his sister. There was no doubt in him that she could run the world if she wanted. He would help, if she asked. He could be her secretary or something.

“Day!” Called a new (but very familiar, oh so familiar, David had heard it in his dreams kind of familiar) voice. 

“Oh great,” muttered Jackson, and already he seemed to be drawing into himself a bit, pushing his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. 

Exer pushed his way through the frozen crowd, coming to a stop next to him and putting a hand on David’s arm. “Day, what’s happening, are you okay?” 

Exer didn’t speak like he’d run a marathon, but David could see the way his chest was pumping, like he’d dashed across the school when he’d heard Brenda yell. Like he’d dashed across the school just to come save him . 

Not only was that thought incredibly charming , but it also didn’t help that Exer looked amazing today. He was wearing the red sweater that, in David’s professional opinion, made him look incredibly hot. Exer’s hand was still on his arm and his eyes were looking right into David’s.

“You aren’t hurt, are you?” Exer asked, bringing his other hand up to grab David’s chin, moving his head from side to side, checking for injuries. Sugar, he could feel his brain melting into goop. His whole body felt warm, and any conscious thoughts he’d had drifted off into fuzz. it took all his energy not to just slump into Exer and let himself be carried off somewhere safe and warm. 

“No, i’m all good,” he managed to get out.

“Yeah, Jackson was just leaving,” Brenda said, and right, Brenda and Jackson were right there. 

He whipped his head around, dislodging one of Exer’s hands. Exer’s other hand had made it to his shoulder, and he leaned in to the warmth, just a little bit.

Brenda, whose face had been all hard lines and iron when she was yelling, was looking at him with the sappiest smile on her face, but her eyes twinkled in a mischievous way. He just knew he was gonna get teased mercilessly for this. He shot her a face he hoped conveyed ‘shut up!’, and she shot back a face that he was pretty sure meant ‘you were making eyesssss’. He scowled at her, but he knew that she knew it was a joke scowl. 

Jackson stood there with one eyebrow raised. His whole face looked dead otherwise. It was like in the matter of seconds Exer had taken to get there, Jackson had completely shut himself down, leaving only the bare minimum of a person left. 

“Yeah, I was just going,” Jackson said, and his voice was devoid of emotion. The hand that had been resting on David’s shoulder lifted away, just for a second, as Exer wrapped his arm around David, bringing him closer, and David turned to see Exer watching Jackson as he left. 

David didn’t even know how to begin deciphering the look Exer gave Jackson. It was like seeing a sign in another language for a food he loved. He knew what was inside the building, but the outside was a strange wall of symbols he couldn’t understand. 

“Hey,” he said softly, nudging his hand against Exer’s cheek, “are you okay dude?”

“Huh?” Exer asked, turning to look at him, “oh yeah, yeah I’m fine. I wasn’t the one who got into a fight. You sure you’re okay?” 

“I’m good,” He said, smiling at Exer. He hoped that if his face was flushed he could play it off as - what? Anger at Jackson? Maybe?

“Jackson was just being a jerk,” Brenda said, coming up to stand on David's other side. Exer still hadn’t removed his arm from around David’s shoulders, but David was not about to complain. 

“If he messes with you, let me know,” Exer said, and maybe it was directed at both of them, but when he spoke he looked directly at David. 

“We will,” Brenda said, “but I don’t think he’s actually mad at David. I think he’s just mad at you, Exer.”

“I know, I know he is,” Exer said, “but that doesn’t mean he’s allowed to mess with my Day.”

His Day. 

Sugar, he was a goner. He wasn’t even going to last through the day at this point. Maybe he’d just evaporate into warm steam. 

Brenda rolled her eyes at him as if she could read his thoughts, and the bell rang. Exer steered them towards the school buildings, his arm on David’s shoulders the whole way 

4. Pamela 

He was sitting in a diner, drinking milkshakes with Pam and trying to get through physics homework . Everyone else was busy, Brenda had cheerleading practice, and Exer and Ron had a history project they had to work on. Still, Exer was his ride home, and he needed something to do while Exer and Ron worked, so with no one else to turn to, he’d asked Pam if she wanted to grab milkshakes. 

Pam was pretty cool now that she’d stopped chasing down Exer and trying to accuse him of witchery. It turned out she knew a weird amount of facts about how coffee was made and was freakishly good at math, which was a blessing to someone like him. 

They’d swapped assignments a couple minutes ago so that Pam could double check his calculations for him, and he could edit the essay she’d been writing. He’d just crossed out the word a stray comma when Pam started talking.

“So, you’ve dated a lot of girls right?” she asked, and he watched as she made a note on the side of his paper. 

“Cheeuh,” He said, “I’m a chick magnet. Everyone wants me.” 

“Uh huh,” Pam said, looking weirdly amused. 

“Are you doubting me?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at her, “You better not be! I’m not kidding! I once went on a date with this girl, and got asked out by another girl while on the date. ” 

“No, no I’m not doubting,” Pam said, and her eyes glinted, and yeah, she was definitely laughing at him. He kept his eyes narrowed and raised one eyebrow at her. He’d worked really hard to be able to raise an eyebrow. He felt it was a necessary piece of who he was as a person that he should be able to raise just one eyebrow. His expressions would be incomplete without it. 

 “So, do you normally ask them out, or do they ask you?” Pam asked. 

“I guess both?” he said, curious as to where this was going. Did Pam want to know how to ask out a girl? No, that would be- that would mean- she wouldn’t, would she?. She probably just wanted to know how to ask someone out in general. 

“Usually the girls I ask out are the ones I know would be interested though,” he continued, “like if they’ve already flirted with me, or if I flirted with them and they enjoyed it. Something along those lines.” 

“Why haven’t you stuck with one of them?” Pam asked, taking a sip of her milkshake. “I mean you must have gone out with plenty of different girls, but you always seem to break it off so fast. I guess I’m just curious if there’s a reason or…”

“Or if I just like dating around?” He chuckled, and she smiled. Pam was nice. And pretty. Maybe if the jacket she was wearing didn’t remind him so much of Exer’s jacket, or if the way she pushed her bangs out of her face wasn’t so similar, he would have asked her out. She was single now, as far as he could tell. Somehow he doubted she would say yes to him though. And what would he say when it didn’t work out? Sorry, I’m actually not into you, I was hoping you could distract me from the fact that I am deeply and worryingly in love with Exer, yeah that Exer, yeah my best male friend. “Nah, I don’t know, I guess none of them felt… right.” 

He felt the smile slip from his face, and he cast his eyes downward, towards Pam’s forgotten essay. He didn’t know how to say that the only person who felt right, the only one he thought he could possibly stick with, maybe even for life, was someone he could never be with. 

 “I get it,” Pam said, her voice comforting, and he glanced up at her. To his surprise her eyes were heavy, filled with something almost sad or lonely. It was strange seeing it in her eyes, because he knew that look. That was how he looked, some nights, when everything seemed impossible. One of those nights where all he could think about was the fact that that day he’d watched Exer flirt with a girl, or be asked out by a girl, or even just smile at a girl and have her smile back, so obviously enamored in a way he couldn’t ever be in public. He almost wanted to call Pam his mirror image, but that didn’t seem quite right. It was less like Pam was reflecting him, and more like they were standing next to each other, watching a tsunami drown their dreams. 

“No one’s…” She said, slow and heavy, “exactly who you want. Not except for-”

She broke off, and to his surprise she was the one that glanced away this time, casting her eyes away, toward the windows. It was almost as if she was trying to find someone, someone who was so far away they might as well be unreachable. 

“The one person you can’t have,” he finished, and Pam glanced back at him, their eyes meeting again. There was less surprise in them, and more of something softer, something understanding.

“Exer,” Pam said softly. It wasn’t a question, nor was it an accusation. She said it calmly, like she was observing some everyday occurrence. The sky is blue, the grass is green, the school bell rings 5 minutes before class, and David Miller was in love with Exer Campbell. 

“Yeah,” he said, just as softly, “You?” 

For a long minute, Pam didn’t answer. They sat in silence, something soft growing between them, something warm, and round, but made of glass, something easy to shatter. 

Something like trust. 

“Can I- can I tell you something else first?” Pam asked, and he nodded, because yes, of course, he had been there, and sometimes other things just needed to be said before you could get to the meat of this - whatever this was, this feeling they seemed to both have. 

“A while ago,” she said, her voice low and serious, “Brenda told me she was going to ask Exer out.” 

He couldn’t help it, he inhaled so fast he choked on air. He let out a small, coughed noise of disbelief because Brenda? His sister? Brenda and Exer? 

“Like I said, it was a while ago,” Pam continued, playing with the straw of her milkshake, “She was helping me get ready for my date with Jackson, and she was just so excited for me. I don’t know how we got there, but suddenly she said to me ‘Pam, I’m going to ask out Exer. He’s changed. He’s grown so much from - from who he used to be.’ I didn’t encourage her per say, but I didn’t discourage her either. I just told her that if that was what she wanted, she should go for it.”

“But after Jackson got in that fight with you and Exer, something changed. She didn’t stand as close to Exer as before. She didn’t blush as easily or laugh at all his jokes, or try to flirt with him or anything. It was like she had lost interest in him overnight. I couldn’t figure out why, I thought maybe they’d gotten in a fight, or maybe she’d asked him out and he’d said no… but when I watched her closer I realized she was watching you . She was watching you take her place next to Exer, and when you laughed with him she smiled or when he put an arm around you she always shot you a thumbs up. That was when I realized.” 

“That I was in love with Exer?” He asked. He didn’t know how to feel. He didn’t know Brenda had been in love as well. She should have told him, he would have backed down, he would have made space for her and encouraged her and given her tips on things Exer liked and places he liked to go and- 

He would have done exactly what she had done for him. 

Except she was a girl. She could actually date Exer. Why would she give up her spot for him, when he was hopeless? There was nothing there for him, there couldn’t be, because he knew Exer and Exer had only ever looked at girls, smiled at girls, flirted with girls-

Which was exactly what David did when people were watching.

Which was always.

Still, that didn’t mean anything. 

“Yes,” Pam said, her eyes never leaving his, “but also when I realized I was in love with Brenda.” 

“You’re what?!?” He yelped, then lowered his voice to a whisper-yell and said, “Brenda?”

Pam nodded, her eyes closed, and oh, David knew this expression too well. The feeling of absolute hopelessness and confusion, the knowledge that something inside them was broken, but feeling so absolutely complete. 

“Oh, Pam,” he said, and he slipped out of his seat, coming around the table and sliding into the seat next to hers so he could wrap his arms around her shoulders and pull her close. She rested her head on his shoulder, and her arms came up around his back. For a moment, they just sat there, hugging each other, and even in this ridiculous situation, even with these crazy feelings, at least they weren’t alone. And that was something. 

That was something. 

“What kind of ridiculous lottery did we win?” He mumbled into her hair, “that made us fall in love like this?” 

She laughed a bit, and he could feel it vibrate through his shoulder, through his chest and into his heart, bouncing around his ribs. He felt her laugh pull his lips up, just a little bit, enough to turn them into a smile. 

“Maybe this is karma for something we did in a past life,” he said, and Pam lifted her head, leaving her arms wrapped around him. Her hair was a mess, and it stuck up in all directions, but there was something like a ghost of a smile on her face. 

“The question is,” she said, “is it good karma or bad karma?” 

“Who knows,” he said, but inside he thought how could this possibly be good karma? 

“Whatever it is,” he continued, “I give you my blessing as Brenda’s brother. You are officially allowed to date her.”

“Oh really?” Pam asked, bringing her hands back to cross them over her chest. He was glad to hear the amusement that was back in her voice now. 

“Yep,” he said, titling his chin up slightly and crossing his own hands over his chest, “you have my permission.” 

“Your permission?” She asked, raising one eyebrow, “Well alright then. If, for some reason, you ever decide you want to date my older brother, you officially have my permission for that.” 

He sputtered at that, not sure of how to respond. 

“By the way,” Pam said, grabbing his abandoned physics assignment that she’d been checking over, “you got this question wrong. See you mixed up these formulas here. This is supposed to be sin, not cos.” 

“Oh alright, thanks!” He said, accepting the assignment from her. 

“If you need more help,” she said, and her eyes glinted with something suspiciously like mischief, “I’m sure you could ask Exer. He’s in your physics class, right?” 

“Oh, shut up!” He said, and he could feel his face flushing. He was pretty sure he must be bright red right now. 

Pam burst out laughing, her shoulders were shaking and one of her arms rested on the table and the other on the back of her chair. 

At least I’m not alone, he thought, and his lips pulled up into a smile. 

He hit Pam over the head with his assignment for laughing at him, but that just made her laugh harder, and it didn’t take long before he started to laugh along, if nothing but for the feeling of laughing with someone.

5…Exer?!?

“Hey, Day,” Exer said suddenly, “Can I talk to you about something?”

“Yeah, anything man,” he said. 

They were lying on their stomachs next to each other on the floor of Exer’s bedroom, their sides almost touching. Every once in a while Exer’s arm brushed against his, or David’s leg bumped into Exer’s. It was driving him crazy . He desperately wanted to get rid of that bit of space between them, to press himself against Exer’s side and lean his head on Exer’s shoulder.

They were supposed to be cleaning out Exer’s closet, but that had been abandoned after they had found a photo book and got distracted by all the old photos Exer had of them from when they were kids.

Exer flipped the page, revealing a photo Exer’s dad had taken of the two of them at a fun fair that had been set up in town. He still had vague memories of that day, Exer laughing, something about a bounce house, getting lost in a crowd. Exer insisted David had gotten cotton candy stuck in his hair that day, but he had no memory of that event. He vehemently refused to accept it had ever happened whenever Exer brought it up.

“Have you… I mean did you- have you ever fallen in love?” Exer blurted, all of a sudden. 

“What?” he yelped. Exer’s eyes darted to his, and he could feel his face flushing, and sugar, how was he supposed to respond to that? “Ye - I mean no!... Maybe?” 

Would it be more suspicious if he said he had never been in love? But if he said he had fallen in love and Exer asked who, what would he say then? Maybe he could just pick some random girl from school and say he’d been in love with her a year or two ago. 

Exer was staring at him, his lips slightly parted and his face slightly flushed. He looked unfairly good, and unfairly reachable , right there. If David wanted to, all he would have to do is lean in ever so slightly and- 

Yeah he was derailing that train of thought, immediately. 

“W-Why do you ask?” He said, trying for casual. He wasn’t sure he achieved it. His face was probably getting redder by the second, but it was hard to think straight (hah) when Exer’s face was right in front of his and they were talking about falling in love .

“I just…” Exer started, then trailed off. Exer took a deep breath, sat up. Exer’s eyes darted every which way for a moment, before they anchored themselves downwards, on the floor. “I don’t know where to start.”

“With what?” He asked, copying Exer’s position and sitting up himself. He wanted to reach out and take Exer’s hand, lace their finger together and enjoy the feeling of Exer’s warm palm pressed against his. He didn’t know if that would help though. He didn’t know if that was too much. 

“With you,” Exer said, lifting his eyes to meet David’s. 

“Huh?” 

He felt he was missing some integral detail to their conversation. 

“Look, Day,” Exer said, running a hand through his hair. David wanted so badly to run his own hands through Exer’s hair, to feel the softness of Exer’s curls between his fingers. “I need you to promise you won’t freak out, or run away or anything. I promise I’m not messing with you, okay?” 

“Yeah, alright,” he said. He still felt he was a bit behind Exer in terms of where this conversation was leading. Exer was looking at him in such a strange way, his eyes wide and hopeful, but somehow heavy as well, like there was a weight on Exer’s mind that he couldn’t ignore. He was almost certain there was still a flush in Exer’s cheeks, and David almost wanted to describe Exer’s expression as heartbroken. But it wasn’t heartbroken, not really, because David had seen heartbroken, had seen it on his own face- 

He jumped. Exer had taken one of his hands and laced their fingers together, exactly the way David had been thinking about earlier. The warmth from Exer’s palm felt like it was heating up his whole arm, his nerves set alight by the feeling of Exer’s fingers pressed up against his and Exer’s fingertips resting on David’s knuckles.

The evening light pouring in from the window seemed golden, bathing their hands in slow, syrupy light. He had to be sure this was real. He’d seen this moment too many times in his daydreams to be certain it was really happening. 

When he looked back up, he almost jumped again. Exer’s whole face looked… soft. Exer’s eyes were dancing, alight with something almost like joy, his cheeks were red, and his lips were curled into a cute, slightly goofy, dizzyingly happy smile. 

If David wasn’t completely red already, he definitely was now.

Exer gave their hands a squeeze, and he squeezed back without even thinking about it. It just seemed right. 

“I…” Exer started, “I really really like you.” 

He felt his breath catch in his throat, and he let out a choked sound. He was dreaming, he must be, because there was no way this could be real. There was no way Exer was really here, in this golden world, confessing to him . It just didn’t feel possible. It couldn’t be possible. 

He didn’t realize he had closed his eyes until he felt Exer’s other hand cup his face, and he opened them again. 

“This better not be a dream” he muttered, clutching at Exer’s hand. The floor underneath him felt solid enough, but the floor always felt solid in dreams anyway. 

Exer laughed, and gosh, if Exer was beautiful normally, then he was stunning when he laughed. All wide smiles, long eyelashes and joy-filled eyes. He would do anything to keep Exer laughing. Maybe that was bad, and maybe it was wrong, but somewhere deep inside he doubted that. Anything that felt this good couldn’t be that wrong. 

“Day…” Exer said, and in his eyes, David saw all his own wanting and dreaming and yearning reflected back at him. They were two mirrors, reflecting love back and back and back at each other infinitely, until they were so many layers deep it was impossible to disentangle one from the other.

“Exer…” he said, and even to his own ears his voice sounded different, full of all the love he normally held back. 

“Can I kiss you?” Exer asked, his eyes never leaving David’s. 

“Yes!” He practically yelled, and Exer laughed and he covered his mouth with one hand, before trying again. “I mean, yes, yeah, that’d be good with me, great with me.”

“Great,” Exer murmured, and sugar, Exer’s face was already so much closer to his, Exer’s eyes half closed, and he felt himself leaning in. His eyes slipped closed and his head tilted slightly. Exer’s hand was still on his cheek, burning a spot onto his face. He wouldn’t be surprised if there was a permanent mark there later, a mark that declared, for better or worse, that he kissed another boy , that he had kissed Exer freaking Campbell . 

He knew it was coming, and yet when Exer’s lips met his, he still let out a little noise of surprise. Some part of him hadn’t truly believed that this was real, not until this moment, not until Exer’s lips pressed into his. 

He believed it now, because this was so much better than anything he could dream of. It felt like he’d been dreaming of kissing Exer in a pencil sketch and this was the final drawing, all cleaned up and colored in. 

Exer’s hand had slid from his cheek to the back of neck, and he felt Exer’s hand tangle in his hair, Exer’s fingernails scraped against his scalp and- 

He needed some air 

Literally. 

He pulled back from the kiss, gasping. He was dizzy, he was ecstatic, he felt like he might faint or possibly just explode on the spot. 

Exer, with his eyes still closed, had tried to follow his lips for a moment, before he opened his eyes and backed off slightly, moving to sit back on his heels. Exer’s face was flushed a deep red, his eyes wide, and he looked so cute. 

“Was- was that okay?” Exer said, and his voice was slightly lower than normal, as if it was scraping against his throat on the way out. 

“That was amazing,” he breathed out. He felt like he was getting too much air and not enough at the same time. 

They were still holding hands.

“Again?” Exer asked, and he looked so excited at that idea that David almost laughed. He’s pretty sure he would have laughed if he wasn’t so entranced. 

“Not yet,” he said, still breathless, “I need a minute.” He almost felt like he might collapse, but that felt a tad too dramatic, even for their first kiss. Maybe if Exer ever heroically rescued him from danger he could swoon backwards into his arms. 

“Okay,” Exer said, and his voice was all warm, honey filled and sappy. 

They sat for a moment, thinking their own thoughts, and the sun started to slant downwards, the light in the room dimming slightly. 

Eventually, David said “How did you manage to confess like that? I’ve been crushing on you for like, years, and haven’t found the courage to say anything.” 

“It was pretty scary,” Exer admitted, scooching over slightly so that their legs pressed together, “But, it helped a lot that I already knew you liked me.” 

“What!?” He yelled, “Who told you, was it Brenda? Or Ron? I swear to god if it was Jackson-” 

“No, I figured it out myself,” Exer said sheepishly, and David couldn’t help but stare.

“Wait a second,” He said slowly, “So a minute ago, when you just asked me if I had ever been in love…”

‘I didn’t know how else to start the conversation!” Exer defended, “What was I supposed to do? Just go ‘Hi Day I know you’re in love with me, can we kiss?’” David sputtered at the word “love”, his face heating up, and he laughed, because admittedly, that did sound a bit ridiculous. 

“How long?” David asked, looking down at their joint hands.

“Have I known about you?” Exer asked.

“No!” David said, his head snapping back up, “I mean uh - no I meant like, how long did you know you liked me?” The end came out like a question, his voice lilting up and getting quieter. He wondered if Exer could tell he was asking another question, a different one entirely, a question that sounded like Are you sure you really like me that way? 

“Not long. Maybe like… a week or something?” Exer said, tilted his head to the side. “More like two weeks I think.”

Two weeks? Exer had found the courage to confess after two weeks?

“I started having really confusing thoughts,” Exer continued, “And I didn’t know what to do with them. Every time you were around me I felt like I was going insane. I kept thinking about how pretty you were, and how much I wanted to put my arm around you and pull you closer. Then it got more complicated. I felt obsessed Day, I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about your hair and your eyes-” David felt his face flush at that, because Exer had been dreaming about him- “-about you laughing or smiling or telling a dumb joke. I kept seeing the way you had looked at me in the infirmary that day. I just- I want you so badly, Day, so badly. It just took a while to figure out that I want you as a boyfriend, not as a best friend.” 

Boyfriend. Boyfriend. 

Exer Campbell wanted him as a boyfriend. 

He was going to pass away. Maybe now was a good time to swoon. 

How was this his life?

“Sugar Exer,” he said, and somehow, through all the feelings and the blushing and the thoughts and the phantom memory of Exer’s lips on his, he managed to find his voice, “Dude, I’ve been so in love with you, you don’t even know it. Every day I would see you, and I’d think ‘there’s no way he’d ever like someone like me’. Cause you’re just - you’re you! You’re pretty, and smart, and confident, and everybody loves you! You literally have girls swooning at your feet! You could pick any one of them!” 

He took a breath, trying to figure out how to continue, how to voice all the unspoken thoughts and doubts and worries in his mind. He wanted to ask do you really want this? Do you really want me? Shouldn’t we not want this? I shouldn’t want this as much as I do, I shouldn’t be this happy right now-  

“You think I’m pretty?” Exer asked breathlessly, interrupting his thoughts.

“Cheeuh, you’re gorgeous dude,” he said, and he watched as Exer face flushed and his eyes widened. David couldn’t help but smile at that, and he knew his smile was maybe a little too mischievous, maybe a little bit too close to a smirk. He figured it was excusable. After all, he'd just figured out that he could flirt with Exer freaking Campbell.

Exer’s eyes had flickered down, just enough that David knew Exer was looking at his lips. Exer was looking at his lips. Exer was just as full of daydreams and wishes that had seemed impossible to David until a moment ago.

Exer was just as far gone as he was. 

And Sugar, wasn’t that a thought . 

And, well, David wasn’t called a lady’s man for nothing. 

“I mean, god Exer,” he said, lowering his voice, and half-lidding his eyes. He watched Exer swallow, his throat bobbing up and down. “I think you’re the most gorgeous person I’ve seen in my whole life.” 

He ran his free hand up Exer’s arm, letting it rest on his bicep. 

He leaned forward slightly, tilting his head to the side to whisper in Exer’s ear, “I mean, your hair, your eyes, your arms-” He squeezed Exer’s arm, and Exer let out a little strangled sounding squeak “-your voice, your lips, the way you smile, the way you laugh, everything. You’re just so beautiful, outside and in.” 

David could feel Exer’s goosebumps under his hand, Exer’s breath coming out in short little puffs. 

He pulled back, rewarded with the sight of Exer’s red face, Exer’s lips slightly parted. David’s heart felt warm, like it was pumping out heat instead of blood, waves and waves of heat that spread from his chest to the tips of his fingers. 

This was so much better than flirting with random girls. This was so much better than dating around. This was so much better than leaving a date feeling vaguely unsatisfied with the lipstick marks down his neck and on his cheek.

“I’m going to kiss you again, okay?” David asked, meeting Exer’s very wide, very cute eyes. 

Exer nodded so fast it was almost funny. It would have been funny if David wasn’t so wonderfully in love. 

He leaned forward, cupping Exer’s face with one hand, still gripping Exer’s hand with the other. He felt Exer’s other hand grip his waist, clutching onto the fabric of his shirt, and he couldn’t help but grin. 

+1. David’s Mom 

“Are you sure I look okay?” he asked, probably for the fifth (sixth?) time that day. He peered into the mirror, fiddling with his bangs and resisting the urge to run his fingers through his hair. His outfit wasn’t really anything special, but then, it was just a Saturday afternoon. It wasn’t like they were going anywhere crazy anyway. 

“Davey,” Bre sighed, “You’re fine. You look good! Stop with your hair though, you’re going to mess it up!”  

“Sorry, I know!” He yelped, swishing his hair one last time before turning away from the mirror, towards Brenda. Brenda was sitting on her bed, her hair up in twin pigtails on either side of her head. The backpack full of different outfit options and his hair gel was lying next to her, thrown open, with clothes spilling out of it. He’d packed his bag at home, and then told dad he would be spending the day hanging out with Brenda - which was only half a lie, really - before bolting off down the road to Brenda’s. No way would he survive trying to get ready for a date with Exer at his dad’s. 

Plus, this way, Brenda could help him with his outfit, and he could tell Mom. 

“Just… are you sure?” He asked hesitantly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He didn’t know what he’d do if this didn’t work.

“David I just told you you look great,” Brenda said, raising her eyebrows, “I mean I know this is your first date and all but-” 

“No!” He yelped, and he knew his face was already turning red. First date . A miracle, really. “I mean… are you sure about…Mom.”

It had been David’s idea to come out to his Mom, but Brenda had been the mastermind behind the plan, and together they’d come up with something that he was comfortable with and that Brenda said Mom would love . When he’d called Exer to get him in on it, Exer had said it was genius, and as long as David was okay with it he was too. He’d also said he was looking forward to going out today, which had made David’s whole brain stutter and shut down. 

Brenda’s face softened, and she said “I’m sure Davey. I promise, Mom is gonna be delighted. Surprised, maybe, but definitely delighted.” 

“Alright,” He said, but inside he thought who could possibly be delighted by this?

Well, Mr. Harry had. He’d given David a hug and followed up with less of a shovel talk and more of a “if you ever need a place to stay, you can always come here” speech, which had made David cry a bit. Then he’d asked if they wanted pizza for dinner, which was such a normal question it had thrown David a bit off center. The whole thing had been a bit strange, but a good kind of strange. Like the feeling of knowing he could hold Exer’s hand if he wanted to, or lean against Exer’s side when they watched movies, without having to fear what Exer would think. 

The voice inside of him that he was beginning to think of as his dad’s continued to torment him, but it had gotten a little quieter since they’d started dating. Not even his dad’s voice could find enough reasons to say this was wrong when David felt like he was floating away down a river whenever Exer so much as said Hi Day . 

His actual dad could find plenty of reasons, he’s sure. Maybe his mom would too. 

“Hey! I know that face!” Brenda said, standing up so she could poke him on the nose, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Stop thinking whatever you're thinking! Mom has always loved you, and she always loved Exer, and nothing is going to change! And if, for some wild, highly improbable reason, she decided she hates you now - which is not gonna happen - then she’ll have to hate me too, because no one hurts my little brother and gets away with it.” 

He rolled his eyes at “little brother”. Brenda was only a minute or two older than him, but she’d never let him forget it. 

“Ah! I can’t believe it, your first date together!” Brenda said, and her smile was so wide it lit up her whole face. “That’s so exciting! What do you think he’ll wear? I’m betting on the green jacket.”

He didn’t get a chance to answer before the doorbell rang. He could hear his heart pumping in his chest, could feel how fast he was breathing. Everything else was fading into a background haze of buzzing noise and too-bright light. He wanted to crawl under the bed and hide, curled up there forever, but he also wanted to jump right into Exer’s arms and stay there forever. A bit of an oxymoron, that was.

Brenda would have said no, it was just him being a moron.  

“Oh wow! The doorbell, I better go get that!” He said too loudly, and Brenda’s laugh followed him as he sprinted down the stairs.

“‘Scuse me mom!” He said, and she stepped backwards out of his path, holding her hands up and laughing. 

“Sorry, sorry,” she said, still smiling, “I’m just excited to meet your date, that’s all.” 

He smiled a (probably nervous, slightly wobbly) smile at her. He glanced backwards at Brenda, who had followed him down and was sitting on the stairs. She shot him a smile and a thumbs up. He reached out his hand for the doorbell, hesitating just a second, just long enough for the dad in his head to start saying she’s going to hate you- , before swinging open the door. 

“Mom,” he said, and he could hear his voice shaking, could feel his hand shaking on the doorknob, as he forced himself to meet his mom’s eyes, “Meet my - my date.”

He stepped aside, still holding the door knob, to reveal a smiling Exer to his mom. 

Exer hadn’t gone too fancy either. He was wearing a black turtleneck and jeans, with the green jacket Brenda had been talking about thrown over it. He looked relaxed, almost comfortable as he stepped through the door, his hands in his jacket pockets. 

He also looked almost impossibly pretty. 

David tore his eyes away from Exer to meet his mom’s wide eyes. Her mouth was open in a little ‘o’, and her eyebrows had shot up into her hair, but she didn’t look disgusted, or disappointed, or any of the things David knew his dad would look like. That thought gave him just enough power to stand up just a little straighter, to lift his chin just a little higher. 

“Mom,” he said, and his voice was steady this time, his mind a blank slate of quiet, “This is my boyfriend, Exer.” 

A thrill went up his spine, and he couldn’t help the smile that stretched across his face. Exer was his boyfriend . This was real, and it was amazing, and he wanted to bounce around and hug Brenda and prance around the school on Exer’s arm, and show everyone I did it, I’m dating Exer Campbell, yes that Exer Campbell, who could have picked any girl and instead picked me . 

Realistically, if they did that, he would last all of 10 seconds before panicking because what if everyone hates us now, and what if someone tells my dad, and what if- 

It was still a nice thought though. 

“Um, hi Ms. Miller,” Exer said, reaching his hand out sideways. David let go of the door knob to grab Exer’s hand, letting the door quietly click shut behind them. For a few moments, the house was eerily quiet, everyone in it turned to stone statues, a frozen tableau of real life. David kept his eyes on Mom, watching as her eyes settled on their joint hands. He braced himself, ready for the onslaught of yelling and looks of disappointment and why can’t you just be a normal son-

“Oh, David,” Mom said, and then there were arms around his shoulders, and his chin was pressed into her shoulder and he could hear her as she whispered in his ear, “I’m so proud of you.”

His eyes were burning. He squeezed Exer’s hand once before letting go to wrap his arms around his mom, tucking his face into her shoulder. 

“You don’t- you don’t mind?” He asked, and he mentally winced at the way his voice had cracked on don’t . 

“Mind?” Mom asked, and she pulled away, just far enough to look him in the eyes. Her hands were on his face, wiping away the tears that had started to fall. “David, I am so happy for you. I always wanted you to find someone who cared about you just as much as me and Brenda do. When you met Exer I was delighted you had found a friend who loved you and was always going to be there for you. Just because your love is a little different now doesn’t make it any less important, or any less beautiful. If you’re happy, and Exer’s happy, then I’m happy too. I love you so much David, and that will never, never change, no matter who you love.”

“Thanks, Mom,” he said, and he wanted to say more, to find words to express how much this meant, how impossible this seemed, how warm and whole he felt. There were no words however, that were big enough for what he wanted to say, nothing to properly capture everything going on inside him, so he settled instead on, “I love you too.”

He squeezed her tight, burying his face in her shoulder as she rubbed circles on his back. When he eventually pulled back, there were still tears running down his face, but his mom was smiling and Exer was smiling and Brenda, who had walked over to stand next to him was smiling.

He was pretty sure he was smiling too. 

“See?” Brenda whispered in his ear as his mom turned and hugged Exer, who gratefully returned the hug. “I told you it’d be fine.” 

He shook his head at that, smiling and let out a little puff of air. He searched again for the words to tell Brenda how much he loved her, how much she meant to him, how he didn’t think he would survive without her, and again, there was nothing he could say that would make it all clear, no one single sentence to perfectly expression not just I love you but so much more. 

He settled for “Is this gonna turn into a lecture about you being always right?”

“No….” Brenda said, trailing off. He raised an eyebrow at her, and she sighed, giving in. “Maybe…I mean, he is wearing the green jacket.” 

“You’re so ridiculous,” he laughed, ruffling her hair in a way that he knew drove her insane. His mom had started giving Exer a speech, about being proud, and “she knew that his dad was supportive, but if ever needed a safe place or just wanted to stay over, he was welcome here, even if David was at his dad’s-” Exer smiled widely through the whole thing, thanking her and nodding his head as she spoke. Exer’s eyes were dancing, catching the sunlight that beamed in through the windows.

There was nothing David wouldn’t do, in that moment, if it meant that Exer would always look like that. 

“Oughhh,” Brenda growled, low in her throat, “You shouldn’t have done that Davey.” Her bangs were messy from his ruffling, splaying every which way across her face. 

“Pfff,” He snickered, and she glared up at him. He ducked out of the way just in time to avoid her hand as she reached up, attempting to get revenge for her ruined hair. He jumped backwards, dodging to avoid Brenda and her increasingly chaotic attempts to ruin the hair that, less than half an hour ago, she had told him not to mess up. 

“Exer!” He called, ducking behind his boyfriend ( his boyfriend! His boyfriend that was now approved by his mom! ), who turned his head to face him. “Save me! Brenda’s gonna wreck my hair!” 

“He wrecked mine first!” She cried, lunging around to reach for him. He yelped, bumping up against Exer’s arm. Exer laughed, his body shaking. His mom shook her head, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like “Siblings…” 

“Exerrrr!” He whined, clutching onto Exer arm, but Exer - the traitor - just stood there laughing. Brenda, seemingly sensing her victory, pounced on him, and he whined as she dragged her hand through his hair, pushing it every which way. 

“There,” Brenda said, putting her hands on her hips and smiling like she’d just uncovered buried treasure, “Now we’re even.” 

“My hair…” he whined, running his fingers through it in an attempt to do damage control. He glared sideways at Exer, who was still stifling giggles. “I can’t believe you’d let her do that. Now my hair’s a mess! I spent forever on it! That is not good boyfriend behavior.” 

His glare fell apart at that, his face cracking into a smile. He couldn’t help it. It was impossible to try and look mad and say “boyfriend” at the same time. 

Brenda was laughing now, and even his mom was shaking, trying to keep her giggling in. Exer was staring at him, blush spreading across his cheeks, followed by a sappy looking smile that just melted David's heart. He could feel it, dripping down his ribs, slipping down into his stomach, warming him from the inside. 

“It’s alright Day,” Exer said, snagging one David’s hand that he’d been running through his hair, “I still think you look great.” Exer was standing so close to him, and David couldn’t stop staring . Exer was looking at him like he was the only thing that mattered, like he was the sun in the sky. He watched Exer as he fluttered his eyes closed and leaned in closer, pressing a soft kiss on David’s cheek. 

He squeezed Exer’s hand tighter, and he was sure he was smiling like a fool, and blushing like one too, but really, no one could blame him could they? They’d be smiling like this too if they’d just been kissed by Exer Mill- Exer Campbell. Exer Campbell. He was not going to get that ahead of himself, not yet, no matter how amazing this felt, how perfect, how absolutely right . 

He’d finally found some of the pieces for the puzzle that was them, pieces that had been swept under the rug and hidden under the couch cushions, hiding away from society. 

His mom was smiling at him, so soft and so sweet, and Brenda had managed to produce a camera from somewhere, and was giving him a thumbs up from behind it as she snapped a photo. He rolled his eyes at her after the camera flashed. He wondered how much teasing he’d have to go through if he asked if she’d gotten a picture of Exer kissing his cheek. 

“Ready to go?” Exer asked him, squeezing their joint hands and tilting his head in a way that drove David crazy . Really, it was unfair how cute Exer was. 

“Ready,” He said, and he knew his voice sounded like maple syrup, sappy and sweet and pouring out of him. Exer had started blushing at him again, and it felt impossible, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t. This was real and true and it was getting easier and easier for him to believe that this was it, this was his life. this was his life.