Archive of Our Own

“Hey Clive, can you hear me?” Someone asked, but he had no idea to whom the voice belonged. It was familiar without a doubt, invoking a sense of trust and warmth, yet his mind felt fuzzy and refused to connect the voice to a face,

Clive only groaned in response, the only sound he was capable of producing at the moment. From somewhere he heard a low whine, another noise that he was awfully accustomed to, but the owner remained a mystery to him. He could only tell that at least two different people were around him.

He felt like he was hit by a rampaging Behemoth because his whole body was aching like hell, so maybe the fuzziness of his brain came from that? Maybe, but that rose the question of what madness drove him to face a Behemoth in the first place. Whatever the reason, it didn't go well from what he could grasp.

“How long do you think it will take him to wake up? Tarja said, it would only take one or two hours, but this had been in the morning and now it's already evening. I''m really worried,” one of the voices said, followed by another whine.

Even when Clive couldn't tell who was talking, he could still hear their words, allowing him to get some desperately needed information. From what he understood, something had happened that caused him to end up in the infirmary. Furthermore, Tarja must be involved somehow as well. And everything happened this morning which meant he had lost an entire day. Maybe the Behemoth theory wasn't as far-fetched as he thought.

Trying to open his eyes, Clive felt like he was trying to lift the entire hideout with one hand. It was extraordinarily difficult, his eyelids just as groggy as the rest of his body. He groaned again and tried again. This time he succeeded even though he didn't manage much more than slits.

It was enough for Clive to tell that he was currently inside his room in the hideout when he was greeted by the ceiling he spent a lot of time staring at during his many sleepless nights. Furthermore, this explained why the voices sounded so familiar to him. They must belong to people he knows pretty well, but his brain still failing him.

“Clive?!” one of the voices asked, hope and surprise ringing in her voice. The question was followed by a bark, sounding just as hopeful. A moment later two faces he knew all too well appeared in Clive's vision and he realised why their voices resonated deep inside his heart.

“Jill, Torgal?” He croaked, his voice sounding so rough that he thought someone else had spoken their names.

“Thank the founder! You're awake! I thought you would never wake up again after what happened earlier this day.” There were small tears in Jill's eyes as she stared at him for a moment longer before she broke down and pulled him into a hug, sobbing into his neck.

Torgal was just as happy to see him awake because the dog jumped on the bed and began licking Clive's face. With his body aching and not responding, the man had no other choice but to accept the affection he was showered with. Not that he minded because he could imagine far worse things to happen right after he awoke. Still, he groaned in discomfort, his body not ready yet.

“Hurts,” he croaked again, causing Jill to gasp in shock.

“I-I'm sorry,” she said while she pulled away. She shooed Torgal away, much to the dog's dismay, but he obeyed her command and jumped off the bed. Jill proceeded to carefully lay down Clive again.

“How are you feeling,” she asked, sitting on the edge of his bed.

He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath while collecting his thoughts. Clive wanted to be sure that words wouldn't fail him when he needed them.

“Like shit,” he answered gracefully, the two words holding nothing but the truth.

In response, Jill giggled at his crude words, appreciating that Clive didn't try to pull the tough guy act on her. It would have been ridiculous in his state.

The light noise of her soft laughter filled Clive's ears and it made his heart feel less heavy, almost as if all the burdens and pain weighing him down didn't mean anything anymore. Words weren't enough to express the gratitude he felt towards his childhood friend. Clive was sure that without Jill's presence, he would have broken down a long time ago.

“But seriously, what happened? I'm feeling like a Behemoth gave me a headbutt or something.”

Jill's laughter stopped immediately after his question. She only stared at him, hesitation swirling in her eyes. Also, she seemed nervous for some reason and he wondered why. Even Torgal became quiet at his question and it caused the concern inside his heart to grow even further.

Jill studied him for a while, clearly weighing her options. It was obvious that she knew the answer to his question, so why didn't she just tell him?

“Don't... don't you remember, Clive? We were in the Crystalline Dominion and...”

Jill fell silent again, unable to say more. Clive narrowed his eyes in confusion at that. What possibly could have-

Suddenly a sharp pain invaded his skull, flashes of memories crawling from the depths of his mind. Their mission to destroy the Mothercrystal, Bahamut's sudden and uncontrolled fit of rage, the meeting with his mother after eighteen years, and the burning wings of the Phoenix rising once more.

Clive gasped as he remembered how the Phoenix tried to protect the city from Bahamut's madness, how his brother, how his Joshua tried to save all of them. His breathing picked up as did his heartbeat. Joshua was alive, has been for the long eighteen years they didn't see each other.

Clive recalled how their Eikons became one, their powers moulded together by the bottomless trust they shared even though they were separated for so long. And when the fight was over with Bahamut defeated, Joshua and he shared an embrace in the ruins that was long overdue.

Clive still felt the feeling of Joshua's warmth seeping into his own body. Both of them were grown men now, but that didn't mean anything to Clive. Joshua would always, no matter what, be his little brother, the little brother he had sworn to protect only to fail him during the events at Phoenix Gaze. But Clive got a second chance to fulfil his oath and he would make it count.

“Joshua!” Clive called, shifting into a sitting, ignoring the flash of white in his vision. His body protested, but he could care less. Joshua's fire inside him burned brighter than it did in years. By instinct, Clive knew his brother was close, close enough to be touched when he found him. He was here with him, somewhere in the hideout and he needed to see him now!

“JOSHUA!” he called again, louder this time, probably rousing every person from their sleep that didn't wake up from his earlier scream.

“Clive! You have to calm down! Joshua is in good hands!” Jill said, trying to calm him down but it didn't work. She pushed against his shoulders but was met by fierce resistance. Even when weakened, Clive was still a warrior and possessed a strong body. Torgal came to her assistance, but even with the two of them, they struggled to keep Clive in check.

“I... I have to see him, Jill! Where is he? Please tell me!”

“Only when you calm down!”

“Jill, I-”

Jill heard how her patience snapped with her childhood friend. She didn't want a repetition from this morning, so if Clive didn't calm down on his own, she would force him. Summoning some of Shiva's power, her strength increased, not only her magical abilities but her physical too. With the strength of her Eikon, she was able to push down Clive effortlessly, glaring him down with her icy stare full of concern.

“Clive Rosfield! You calm down now or I swear by the Founder that I will freeze you to this bed! Am I clear?!” She demanded, the air around her form becoming chilly while a thin layer of ice was already forming on Clive.

To say that the man looked startled was an understatement. His mouth was open in protest, the words dancing on the tip of his tongue, but Clive didn't dare to utter them. The icy glare from Jill was enough of a warning that she would indeed freeze him to his bed in case he didn't obey her. Joshua was important to him, but so was Jill and when his childhood friend was so adamant about him staying in his bed, how could he deny her? His friend always acted rational, so he was sure she had a reason for her actions.

He rose his hands in defeat, showing Jill that he had no intention of running straight to Joshua anymore. She glared at him for a while longer, but when she saw no resistance in Clive's azure eyes, she cancelled her powers and returned to her normal self and seated herself on the bed's edge again, heaving a heavy sigh.

Torgal, who had wisely stepped aside when she activated her Eikon's powers, moved to it in front of her, bumping his nose against her hand. Jill smiled at the motion and began to pat Torgal's head.

“Sorry about this, Clive. I know you are worried about Joshua and want to see him, but Tarja said he needs rest at the moment. You... you do remember what happened earlier this day, do you?”

“Not really,” Clive answered after a while in which Jill's question hang between them. He seriously couldn't remember anything at all aside from mere fragments. Only that he was finally reunited with his brother Clive knew and honestly, it was the only thing that mattered to him.

Both of them fell silent again. Neither Jill nor Clive wanted to disturb the silence. Only Torgal's occasional bark, a sign that he wanted Jill to continue to pat his head, broke the silence from time to time.

While he lay in his bed, Clive was overwhelmed by memories from his past. He recalled the day when Joshua was born and how their eyes met for the first time. Nothing, not even their mother, managed to tear them apart back then. Where one was the other was too never far away. And yet, here he was eighteen years later in which he didn't see his brother, eighteen years where he couldn't protect him how he had sworn to.

He lifted his left arm and placed it over his face, fighting back the tears that were forming in his eyes.

“This is not a dream, right Jill? Joshua is really here, isn't he?” He asked with a shaky voice, the tears pooling from his eyes and leaving wet trails on his face.

Jill, surprised to see Clive this vulnerable, smiled gently at him. She grabbed his free hand with her own, rubbing soothing circles across its back.

“This is not a dream, Clive. Joshua, your brother, is here,” she cooed, barely able to imagine the turmoil of emotions that must swirl in her friend's chest. She missed Joshua too, but her bond with the blond was nothing compared to the relationship the brothers shared.

Her words coaxed sobs from Clive, unable to hold his raging emotions back anymore. He cried into his arms, his broken hiccups echoing throughout the room and maybe even the entire hideout. He might be a warrior with the powers of several Eikons at his disposal, and he might be on a mission to save the world, but that didn't change the fact that he was still a human being, one that had found his brother after eighteen long years again.

Clive cried for a long while and Jill stayed with him the entire time as did Torgal who had jumped on the bed and nuzzled into Clive's side, showing him that he wasn't alone.

A few hours later, Clive stood in front of the doors leading to the infirmary. It was in the middle of the night when his eyes opened again after he had released all of his pent-up emotions. Jill had left by then and only Torgal was still with him, occupying one-half of his bed as the dog snored away.

It was an oddly mundane and simple thing to wake up to, but it caused warmth to spread throughout his entire body. Clive was reminded of what he was fighting. It wasn't for fame, money or something like that. Everything he did was for normal moments such as these. Everyone should be allowed to experience them without having to fear any form of discrimination.

However, this battle could wait for a day. There were more urgent matters occupying his heart at the moment. Slipping out of bed, Clive dressed in a simple shirt, pants and shoes. He opened and closed the doors to his room as quietly as possible because he didn't want to disturb Torgal in his sleep.

Once outside, his feet carried him to the infirmary, Joshua's blessing burning stronger and stronger the closer he got. That was how he came to stand in front of the wooden doors, feeling extremely nervous and insecure about everything.

Joshua was so close and yet so far away at the same time. Back then in Twinside, he had been overwhelmed by their unexpected meeting, but now that things had calmed down, Clive didn't know what he should do.

Shaking his head from side to side, he dismissed his doubts. They wouldn't bring him anywhere. He took a steadying breath before he pushed the door open only to be confronted with a seething Tarja right away. Clive wondered if she had waited for him because to him it looked a lot like that.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, her glare sharper than any of the scalpels she used during her surgeries. Out of instinct, Clive took several steps backwards. He would do the whole fighting Bahamut in space all over again instead of facing an angry Tarja. Unfortunately, it was already too late for that.

“I'm well aware that you want to see your brother, but he needs rest, not a mess of an older brother that will disturb his healing process. As the doctor in charge, the well-being of my patients is paramount. If you make a fuss again, I have no qualms about knocking you out again, Clive.”

Clive wanted to respond, saying that he was perfectly calm, but Tarja's words distracted him. Knocking him out? What was she talking about? His eyebrows creased in confusion, but suddenly everything came back, the fragments of memories he was missing.

After Bahamut was defeated and their mother killed herself, the Mothercrystal began to collapse, so Joshua turned back into Phoenix and carried them all the way to the hideout. Naturally, there was a large commotion because it wasn't an everyday event that an Eikon appeared out of nowhere in their little heaven, even less so when it was his very own brother who was gone for many many years.

Of course, Clive made a scene when Joshua collapsed right after he had turned back to his human form, calling for Tarja's aid immediately. How could he not when his brother was bleeding from his mouth? Clive knew about Joshua's health issues since he was a small child, so seeing him like that was a great concern.

Joshua alongside Dion was taken to the infirmary right away and blessed be the Founder that Tarja was not occupied. She went to work on both of them, but her main focus was on Joshua because his condition was worse than Dion's. That only increased his worry, causing him to pace back and forth inside the infirmary.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear Tarja's warning to let her do her work in peace. Her patience must have snapped at some point because she threw something in his face, a small pouch filled with some kind of pollen. Clive remembered how he coughed, trying to protest but his words were nothing but a slur. A moment later his eyes already rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed on the ground. After that, there was nothing but darkness until the moment he woke up to Jill and Torgal watching over him.

Suddenly he understood what Jill meant when she said she didn't want a repetition of today's earlier events. Clive didn't desire to be knocked out by Tarja again either.

“I'm sorry,” he simply said, bowing his head in defeat.

Tarja, having not expected that kind of reaction from Clive rose her eyebrows in disbelief. The scenes from their arrival still played in her mind and she had a hard time believing the man bowing his head right now was the same as the man who was an utter wreck earlier on.

“I will not allow any disturbance in my patients' healing process, so I'm not allowing any visitors.”

Clive raised his head and looked worse than a kicked puppy. Tarja sighed at that. “If they are perfectly calm though, I don't see any reason to keep them away.”

“Thank you,” came Clive's quiet voice, but Tarja waved him off, returning to mixing potions.

Clive went inside the infirmary and turned to the right, moving to the portion where Tarja kept her patients. His legs carried him with small steps, his heart pounding so hard inside his chest that he was afraid it would burst at any moment.

When was the last time he felt the flames of Phoenix burning this strongly inside him? It was so long ago, that he couldn't remember but at the same time, the feeling of liquid fire flowing through his veins was so familiar to him, that he didn't find the words to express himself properly.

His breathing grew heavy as he rounded the corner, his fingers clenching to fists. He picked at his nails, trying to dissolve the nervousness overtaking his entire being. He was afraid to turn his head to find the bed where his brother was supposed to be empty, to realise that everything was nothing but a dream, that Joshua was not here with him and instead in the land of the dead just like their father.

Another shaky breath left his lips as he collected every ounce of willpower he possessed and turned his view to the side. His breathing shuddered as he found Joshua laying inside the bed, covered in bandages and buried underneath a layer of comforters.

Clive had no idea how long he stared at his brother's frame, afraid that he would vanish again. But Joshua didn't and stayed where he was, his chest rising with every calm breath he took. He look so mature now from what Clive remembered. The softness was gone and was replaced by the sharp features of their father. Both of them came strongly after their old man. Looking at Joshua it felt like he was looking at a copy of Elwin Rosfield, the former Archduke of Rosaria.

And yet, to him, Joshua looked the same he did eighteen years ago. They were older now, but Joshua was still his younger brother, no matter the age. He would always be.

Clive stepped closer to the bed, reaching out with his hand to brush away some of Joshua's blond strands. He felt how the fire inside him sparked with new power as it was connected with its source after so long. His hand wandered from Joshua's forehead to his cheek, his thumb running over the soft skin the same way it had done when they were still children.

It was Clive#s way to show his brother that he was there, watching over and protecting him. And just like Joshua had done back in those days, he leaned into the touch, a soft smile forming on his face.

“Clive...” Joshua murmured in his sleep and it broke Clive. Tears fell from his eyes and he had to cover his mouth to quieten the sobs that threatened to break free. He collapsed at Joshua's beside and grabbed his brother's hand with his, bringing it to his forehead.

“You are really here, Joshua, my little flame,” he whispered the nickname he secretly used for his brother, realisation fully setting in at last. Joshua was safe and here with him. After eighteen long years, he was finally reunited with his brother again.

Clive pulled a chair to the bedside and kept Joshua company, never letting go of his hand.

At some point, Tarja went into the room to see how her patients were doing and what Clive was up to. She sighed and shook her head when she found him asleep in a chair. His back would kill him for that in the morning, but she would let it slide this time.

Even if she tried to wake Clive from his slumber, it would be pointless because Joshua had a firm grasp on Clive's hands. Also, both of them smiled in their sleep. It would be too cruel to rip them apart now of all times. She coved Clive with a spare blanket though so that the man wouldn't catch a cold. She didn't dare to think about the scene he would make if she forbade him from seeing his brother because he was sick.

Glancing one more time at the brothers, she left the infirmary with a smile of her own and retreated to her quarters, retiring for the night too.

Not long after Clive had fallen asleep, azure eyes opened slowly, groggy from exhaustion. Joshua had only a faint grasp of where he was, but he found his exact location was of no importance to him, not when the first thing he saw was the sleeping form of his beloved older brother, holding his hand.

Despite the monster residing inside his heart, it was filled with such a radiant and comfortable heat that made him forget about Ultima and his looming threat altogether. Nothing mattered to him at that moment, nothing except Clive, the brother he had missed so very much in all these years.

He had tried to stay away from him because Joshua knew his resolve would crumble to dust the moment he felt his brother's protective arms around his body once more. He felt so safe with his brother around, almost as if they were children again, sharing a bed when a thunderstorm kept him from falling asleep. Clive would always sneak into his room then, pulling him into his chest and protecting him from the forces of nature.

Words weren't enough to express how much he had longed to feel this save once more, but now he finally did and nothing would change that, ever. Joshua had often thought to seek out Clive, but he never found the courage. Clive thought him dead, so he couldn't just simply pop out of nowhere unless he wished his brother suffered a heart attack.

Now he thought otherwise about the topic. He should have sought out Clive sooner because together they were stronger. Not even Ultima would be able to withstand their united power. Joshua was certain of that. However, nothing of that was of importance at the moment. Deep down he felt that Clive thought the same. The only thing that mattered was that they were Reunited At Last.