Chapter Text
"T-Tsukki?"
Yamaguchi stood there, frozen, just like the landscape around him. In front of him, a giant red stain, a stark contrast to the untouched snow, stretching into infinity.
The dark red left a trail, one that ended in a point far away. But Yamaguchi couldn't see what was at the end, the snow, although light, made it hard to see that far.
He starts walking, and he doesn't even feel cold. But he doesn't notice that he should feel cold. He's more focused and annoyed at how hard it is to walk through the snow- it feels like it's sticking to his feet like some goo.
Of course, he doesn't come any closer. After what feels like days of walking, he looks back and sees that he barely made it a few meters. But he knows what's there. He doesn't know how or why, he just does.
It's Tsukki. Laying dead in a pool of his own frozen blood.
What happened? Why did it happen? Why was he here? Yamaguchi could've saved him. How though? He doesn't know, but he knows that he could. But he didn't. And now Tsukki's dead. In a cold, barren wasteland. His body slowly getting covered up by the snow, still lightly falling. The snow is almost over. And the red trail, Tsukishima's body, and everything remaining of them- both of them, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi -will soon become invisible. No one will ever know, much less remember...
Yamaguchi wakes up. It's not in a cold sweat, neither does he scream or jump when he wakes up. He just wakes up, simple as that.
A feeling of dread and great sadness is filling up his chest. He feels like crying, but he already feels his cheeks are wet. He wipes his tears with the thin sheet around him, and doesn't take it away from his face, just cries into it, wiping the tears as they fall.
He now realizes there's someone beside him in the bed, he feels their chest rise and fall calmly.
He turns around. Tsukki! Yamaguchi sighs, relieved now that his mind is less fuzzy and he can fully realize that it was just a dream.
He doesn't stop crying, though. But, what when Tsukishima does die? he thinks.
He wants to stop thinking about it, wants to busy his mind with thinking about the movie him and Tsukishima were watching earlier that evening, about how Tsukishima was happy when Yamaguchi invited him to sleep over. They do it all the time, sleepovers. But that doesn't make them any less fun.
He wraps his arms and legs around Tsukishima tightly, putting his head on his chest and thanking his mom internally for buying him a twin-sized bed that fits both him and Tsukki. Even though they're almost seventeen and people would probably think it's weird...
He starts calming down, now thinking if there might be any other seventeen year olds sleeping in the same bed right now. That would be funny. Someone on the other side of the world doing the exact same thing you're doing... it makes him feel warm and he starts to drift back to sleep.
But then his body-pillow shuffles and his chest isn't rising and falling so slowly anymore, he's awake. "Yamaguchi?"
Yamaguchi moves his head a little bit and re-adjusts his legs, and, unfortunately, realizes that his tears- and snot -left a big wet stain on Tsukishima's bright pink shirt. Yamaguchi hates that he wears it to bed, too. It's too much of a cute shirt- and Tsukishima looks too cute in it.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't want to wake you up," he mumbles and lifts his head up from the wet spot. Ew.
"And- and sorry for ruining your shirt-"
"What- were you crying?" Tsukishima asks with a sleepy monotone voice, almost slurring, while rubbing his eyes. Yamaguchi feels embarrassed and sits up, ready to go get some tissues.
Tsukishima props himself up on his elbows to get closer to Yamaguchi, even if it's just a little bit, and now repeats, with a softer tone. "Were you crying?" he whispers. Yamaguchi freezes but slowly starts fidgeting with his hands, and nods, making sure his movements are noticeable in the dark.
Tsukishima hums, just as softly and quietly as his voice was before, and sits up. He brings his hand to Yamaguchi's hair, all tangled together from sleeping, and tucks it behind his ear. His hand stays there, on Yamaguchi's neck, and he rubs comforting circles with his thumb into the skin. And, Yamaguchi can't see much, because it's like 4am, but when he looks into Tsukishima's eyes- or where they usually are -he's certain he's looking right back, softly and endearingly. And it makes Yamaguchi's heart flutter.
"I'll go get some tissues, and you can talk to me about it after- if you want." Tsukishima whispers- don't know why they're whispering -and Yamaguchi doesn't even get to object (to his hand leaving his neck) when the bed already creaks happily from being released of the taller boy's weight.
His eyes follow Tsukishima, and his back cracks when he turns all the way around to see him leaving the room. And then he's all alone.
He drops back to the bed, sighing and groaning, and he replays Tsukki's hand on his neck over and over again. He doesn't care if he's blushing like a madman, Tsukishima won't see it in this darkness.
He blows his hair out of his face and puts his hand on the spot where the blonde put his, and imagines it's him again. He sighs- he's pathetic, isn't he...
Tsukishima's footsteps are heard from the hallway, rapidly- yes, rapidly -approaching Yamaguchi's room. His door is wide open, but when he comes with a pack of tissues fresh from his backpack downstairs (he left it downstairs earlier- they didn't want to miss the movie on the TV of course) he closes it behind him.
Yamaguchi sits up quickly when he hears him, and his face feels even hotter now. What would he think if he saw what he did earlier??
"Here," Tsukishima says a little bit out of breath, but he still tries to keep his voice as soft as possible. It's very noticeable. Yamaguchi lowers his head just in case Tsukki can see his blush.
He takes the tissue boy from him and blows his nose- a little bit embarrassed that his nose is being so loud, cutting through the silence, and in front of him not to mention. But Tsukishima just laughs softly, which calms him down a bit.
But then, the tall boy reaches out for the bedside lamp to turn it on. Yamaguchi wants to do something, slap his hand away or something... But then Tsukishima would be suspicious and start getting concerned. And, Yamaguchi likes when he's attentive and caring to him, loves, but- not right now. Besides, Tsukishima's too quick already with his motion.
He lowers his head and brings it all the way between his shoulders.
"Where's your trash bin?" The blonde says, more to himself than Yamaguchi, and stands up to look for the bin. That gives Yamaguchi about four seconds of time to calm down, and hopefully get his redness a bit down.
He takes the tissue away from his nose, and breathes in the cold air of his room. They forgot to close the window. He hears rustling of leaves in the wind outside, and that makes him smile. Than and Tsukishima shuffling around. It all feels very serene.
"Okay, here." Tsukishima brings the bin directly to Yamaguchi, and even if it's a small thing like that, it makes his stomach feel like one big butterfly.
He sits down next to him again, and turns his whole body to him, looking at him softly. Yamaguchi can barely contain his mouth to stretch into a big smile.
"Wanna... Wanna talk about it?" He asks. And, Yamaguchi knows he can tell him anything and he wouldn't make it a big deal, or end their friendship. Not that he has anything that would cause that to say to him, anyway (except...). But, he doesn't want to come off as pathetic. Or a cry baby. Or like he's obsessed with Tsukishima (well...). Not that Tsukki would think that. But what if he does? But, but, but...
"It was just- just a dream. Nothing serious..." his voice is small, trying to sound casual and calm down Tsukki.
"Well it made you cry. Might make you feel better... make you sure that it was nothing serious... You know?"
Yamaguchi laughs, and the blonde smiles at him.
He averts his eyes to the ground, and his laughter fades. "It, um... You were, like, dead," he whispers. It's quiet for a few moments, and Yamaguchi wonders if he really does think he's pathetic.
Tsukishima finally puts his hand on his back and comes closer, making the shorter one lift his head up and look at him again.
"And... I don't-" he feels the tears coming again. He didn't see Tsukishima's face in the dream, and not when he woke up after it. But now, when he looks directly at his eyes...
"I-I just don't want to lose you..." his breath stutters and the tears start rolling out, and he drops his head back down to hide.
But Tsukishima of course isn't having any of that. He pulls Yamaguchi closer, both hands wrapped around him now- one on his side and one on hi shoulder -and pushes his head to his chest with his hand on his head now. He lowers his head so that Yamaguchi's hair is brushing his nose and tries to comfort him with running his hand up and down the shorter boys' side.
Yamaguchi cries even harder, thankful that the blonde closed the door. He would probably wake up his whole family if that weren't the case. He probably stains his shirt even more. But Tsukki doesn't care, because he's.. he's Tsukki. He just strokes Yamaguchi's hair and patiently waits for him to let it all out.
He does let it all out. When he's finished crying, he wants nothing more than to sleep soundly for a week.
When he stops sniffling, Tsukishima takes the hand previously in Yamaguchi's hair and puts it under his chin, lifting his head up carefully, making him look him in the eye.
Yamaguchi lazily opens his eyes, which slid shut sometime before, and when he sees how close Tsukishima pulled him he gasps quietly. Not even Tsukishima hears him, probably.
The blonde smiles endearingly, and his cheeks turn pink. Even while being tired to death, Yamaguchi notices it. And he's not so tired anymore, suddenly.
"You won't lose me," he breathes. Yamaguchi's eyes flutter. He feels like he's dreaming. In a daze.
"Don't even think about that." He smiles. And Yamaguchi smiles too. And sighs, like some character in a corny movie after being rescued by their prince in shining armor.
Tsukishima's thumb brushes his lower lip, and he can't help but bite his lip. The blonde smiles shyly.
"Let's go to sleep." He says, as soft as ever, and leans over Yamaguchi to turn off the lamp. Yamaguchi doesn't move- he lets Tsukishima lean into his personal space and, for good measure, he wraps his hands around his neck and buries his face into it as well.
Tsukishima gasps at that, or more so inhales sharply, but Yamaguchi knows he doesn't mind it when he hugs his waist and slowly leans the shorter boy to lay on the bed.
He flops down beside him himself, and Yamaguchi doesn't hesitate to press himself to him.
Tsukishima presses his nose into his dark hair and inhales slowly. "Goodnight, Tadashi." he breathes.
"You won't lose me either," Yamaguchi whispers into his neck, and Tsukishima can't help but kiss the top of his head.
Yamaguchi makes a small noise, and Tsukishima smiles at that. Angling the shorter boys' head upwards, he closes his eyes and presses another little kiss, to Yamaguchi's forehead now.
Another one, just a little bit lower. On the bridge of his nose. He can have two there, actually. To the tip of his nose. Under his eyes. His temples.
His ears. "Don't worry," he whispers into them. "I'd do anything to get you back," and kisses his ear again. He places his hand just below it, tilting Yamaguchi's head this and that way to get better access. And Yamaguchi feels like he's water in his hands, moving and leaning wherever he has to to feel Tsukishima's hands again.
Yamaguchi tilts his head on top of Tsukishima's, slowly, softly, smiling. He feels like he's high.
The blonde trails kisses along Yamaguchi's jawline, and finally, finally ends up at his lips.
He pulls him closer by the waist, and Yamaguchi relishes in the way his lips feel, ghosting over his. Much to his own surprise, he makes the first move, softly leaning forward so that their lips touch fully. He doesn't remember choosing to do so. It's like a force pulled him forward.
It's just a little peck. Like Tsukishima kissed him just before. And then another peck. A bunch of soft pecks. The pecks slowly form into one kiss, and Yamaguchi feels like he's floating. He probably is.
They kiss like this for what feels like hours. And also seconds. Both of them too scared to make a bigger move, as well as perfectly happy being just like this.
To their both dismay, they have to separate eventually. They open their eyes, and stare at each other for what feels like some more hours. Taking each other in. Their red lips, pink cheeks, widened irises. Wait- how can they see each others' irises?
"It's dawn," Yamaguchi remarks, his voice slurred like he's drunk.
"Mhm." Tsukishima hums and tenderly kisses him again, causing Yamaguchi to close his eyes and give in.
It wasn't a great experience for none of them when Miss Yamaguchi walked in on them, wanting to wake them up to tell them breakfast has been ready for an hour. They were just meaning to get out of bed (already tried like, three times)- but got busy yet again.
You can imagine how embarrassed both Yamaguchi's were when Tsukishima left in the evening (unfortunately. They both meant to ask their parents if they can sleep over one more day yesterday, but now that things took a twist and mom caught them it would be a little obvious why they want to spend another night together...) and Miss Yamaguchi asked Yamaguchi if they've been... doing this for a long time now.