Chapter Text
"Dude."
Silence.
"Like…. For real?"
Stan looked out at Starks Pond, hands in his pockets.
"Maybe." He muttered, a cloud emitting from his mouth and floating off into the winter air.
Kyle stared at him, hands at his sides, eyes wide.
Starks Pond was frozen over. The moon cast an eerie white glow on the ice, and it highlighted the edges of the trees in the distance.
"For how long?"
"I don't know, years? Maybe?" Stan shrugged, nervousness tugging at his vocal cords, making his voice rise.
"I didn't really… I didn't realize until a couple days ago."
Kyle stayed silent, kicking at a stick under his shoe. "Right."
Stan looked down, holding back tears that threatened to fall. "I'm sorry that I had to tell you like this. Dragging you out into the cold to ruin everything…"
Kyle looked up at him. "Ruin everything?"
"Yeah, you probably hate me now, so…" Stan closed his eyes, taking a shaky breath.
"I don't hate you, though. You can't control who you fall in love with."
Tears finally began falling from Stan's eyes. He spoke in a hushed whisper, "I just wish it wasn't you."
For a second, Stan hoped Kyle would walk away. Leave him to cry by himself, mourning a lost friendship because he had to open his stupid mouth.
"I… I'm sorry, Stan."
He wanted to curl into a ball and die.
"You’re sorry… that you don't love me back? You don't want to be friends anymore?" Stan watched his tears fall into the snow beneath him, melting tiny holes in it.
"I didn't say that."
Leave it to Kyle to be a smartass even in this moment.
"I said sorry because I hate seeing you in pain."
Stan finally looked up at his best friend. "So say something to me."
It was almost a plea. A cry for help.
Kyle shook his head, looking out at the lake. "I don't know what to say."
The two boys stared into the distance, completely still and silent.
"Just… tell me you don't love me." Stan wiped away tears with his sleeve, but more streamed down his face anyway.
"If I said that, I'd be lying." Kyle spoke sternly, trying to gain eye contact with his friend.
Stan sobbed, shaking with the effort. "You're confusing me."
"I'm confusing myself!" Kyle retorted. "No matter what I say, I don't know what will make you happy."
"Just leave, then. I don't want you to.. to watch me cry over this. Something so simple."
"But it's more complex than that!" Kyle fully turned towards Stan, talking without stuttering or missing a beat. "I care about your feelings, Stanley. More than anything else, I just want to make you happy!"
Stan exhaled shakily. He looked up, finally meeting Kyle's stare. Blue on green.
"So, what do you want me to say?" Kyle asked, an almost hopeless expression on his face.
Stan paused, shutting his eyes. After a brief moment, he opened his eyes and stepped forward.
"Say you love me."
Kyle nodded as though he expected that. He cleared his throat nervously.
"Stan, I-"
Thunder roared overhead, and hard rain began pummeling down onto Earth.
Kyle sighed angrily.
"We'll talk about this tomorrow, okay?" Kyle said, flinching at the cold rain that began soaking his hat.
"Mhm." Stan nodded. He looked down, finally done crying, and he began walking away.
"Hold on!"
Stan stopped immediately, looking back.
Kyle caught up with him, and after a small pause, grabbed his hand.
"Let's go to my house. It's closer."
Blush spread across Stan's face as he stared at their conjoined hands. He inhaled deeply and began walking again.
They continued down the sidewalks of South Park, holding hands, not talking once.
Stan never liked the silence as much as he did then.