Work Text:
Esther won't come to Staten Island to get a haircut but she will let Sofia cut her hair on her apartment balcony, letting the birds come and gather the cut pieces to carry away for their nests. It's become a routine—after a few months, Sofia will begin to notice the way Esther has to constantly brush her hair out of her face and how she toys with the ends unconsciously when they're studying magic together. Sofia will then urge Esther into getting a haircut until she caved and every time, Esther insists on paying her when she offers to do it which then results in Sofia insisting on not taking payment. They eventually settle on sharing a dinner that's Esther's treat as if this wasn't going to be the plan all along.
This time, it's a Wednesday night after a long day for Sofia of cutting hair on Staten Island. Still, she's happy to pull a stool out onto Esther's balcony and wrap her friend in a bath towel. She lays her tools out on a chair that's a permanent feature of the balcony. They're her personal tools, the ones she bought right out of school as a gift to herself that follow her home every night even if it would be convenient just to leave them at the shop. After a long day of work, Sofia has traded out her professional attire in favor of comfort. She's barefoot in a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, hair pulled into a messy bun as she sets to work, happy to be with good company after a day filled with some particularly unfriendly clients. Esther is dressed similarly, perched on the stool patiently and looking out at the city skyline. The view she and Ricky have isn't the best but it's not bad and Sofia often catches Esther craning her neck to stare intently down at the people on the street like she's searching for answers to questions she doesn't realize she's asking.
Tonight, Ricky has also joined them wearing sweatpants but without a shirt on. Sofia doesn't bat an eye at his exposed skin, used to his idiosyncrasies as much as any person can be, as he works through his nightly yoga ritual as the sun sets. It's something he'd picked up after quitting as a firefighter, developing a focus on comprehensive exercise rather than entirely high-impact. Sofia has a long-standing invitation to join him, something she cashes in semi-frequently. She prefers yoga in the mornings but doing it at night on a rooftop while the city bustles below them isn't half bad. Still, doing any type of exercise with Ricky can be intimidating at the best of times.
Adjusting her stance on the stool as Sofia sizes up her hair, Esther wolf whistles at Ricky as he moves into his first yoga pose. Sofia is half-convinced it's just to make him blush pink up to the tips of his ears—which, Sofia can admit, is adorable. It's easy, to be with these two in moments like this but, boy, if it doesn't make Sofia's heart break a little. She distracts herself by detangling any knots that she can find in Esther's hair as she hands her a handheld mirror. "What are we thinking?"
Sofia always asks the essence of the same phrase, especially with Esther who is prone to wanting a change—even if it's small, just to keep things interesting. As she combs through her hair, she inspects the ends and the length that it's grown to, trying to gauge what needs to be done. It's mindless at this point—doing Esther's hair and, to be honest, most of her other friends' hair, is second nature due to the frequency with which she does it.
Esther is quiet for a moment, contemplative, as she watches in the mirror's reflection as Sofia carefully parts her and methodically detangle it. She huffs out a quiet sigh before settling on saying, "Whatever you want, Sof. I trust you." Sofia raises her eyebrows, pausing her process to look at Esther's reflection in the mirror and catch the look on her face. It's not like Esther to be laidback about pretty much anything, which Sofia has no problem accommodating, but now her expression is open and warm. There's not even a hint of doubt on her face as she makes eye contact with Sofia through the mirror.
Sofia nods slowly and tries to gather her bearing as she runs her practiced gaze over Esther's hair. "Are you planning on continuing to straighten your hair?" she asks, head tilted in contemplation. When they'd first met, Esther had almost religiously had her hair straightened but as time has gone on, Sofia has seen less and less of that style on her. Esther's more relaxed these days, letting her natural curls shine. Sofia envies her a little, having her own habit of straightening her hair more than she'd like, mostly just to keep it manageable and easier to handle. She regrets that choice sometimes but she's too committed to the style at this point to change it. Maybe someday.
"No." Esther's answer is immediate and unwavering, but her eyes flick over to Ricky like she's looking for reassurance. He smiles at her, seeming a little clueless about the whole idea of hair but still supportive. "I like it the way it is." Esther makes eye contact with Sofia in the mirror, the look in her eyes questioning just as it had been a moment ago with Ricky.
"For what it's worth," Sofia takes the hint, toying with some of the longer strands of Esther's hair, "so do I." Esther grins at her and Sofia returns the smile easily before setting to work. She checks in with Esther the whole way through, not wanting a hair disaster on her hands. As much as she likes creative freedom and the trust her friends have in her, she also wants to give autonomy and final authority to Esther. It's her hair, after all.
Ricky finishes his yoga routine halfway through Sofia's process, sweating just enough that his skin glows in the warm light of the slowly setting sun. Sofia makes a concerted effort not to spend too much time looking at him, if only out of respect for his and Esther's relationship. Instead, she keeps her gaze firmly on Esther as she meticulously works through her haircut.
The three of them talk casually about their days as Sofia works, Ricky telling a long story about a man he met while at work a couple of days ago at the homeless shelter. Sofia thinks the man sounds a little senile as she laughs along to his story but doesn't comment, focusing on her work as Esther and Ricky carry the bulk of the conversation. Her attention shifts in and out on what they're talking about it. When she's actually at work in the salon, she's on the ball the whole time listening to her clients' dramatic retelling of the latest Staten Island drama. With Ricky and Esther, it's different. They don't expect anything from her—they're content to let her work in relative silence. It's soothing, the ease with which they interact with each other and the way they allow Sofia to let her guard down.
Sofia murmurs things to Esther occasionally, explaining the whole process to her like she has hundreds of times before just to make sure nothing comes out of nowhere. She warns them both when she starts using the electric razor to trim down the sides of Esther's hair. Esther still jumps a little at the noise as it clicks on but is otherwise relaxed as Sofia carefully glides it down the sides of her skull. It falls silent for a little while after that. A conversation is hard to hold over the loud sound of buzzing so instead Esther watches the sunset as Ricky watches Sofia cut her hair. The attention should be unnerving, especially with the way Ricky's eyes barely leave her or Esther, but it's not. If anything, it’s almost too comfortable.
The setting sun casts a warm, golden glow over the balcony, and Sofia finds herself lost in the moment. She's always appreciated the simplicity of these nights with Esther and Ricky, where the anxieties and chaos from their day-to-day life in the unsleeping city fades away, leaving them behind in the mundanity. The simplicity is peaceful and Sofia wishes more than anything that it never had to end. She would stay in moments like these forever if she could, sheltered from the outside world.
It never can, though, and eventually, Sofia is putting the final touches on Esther's hair. She takes a step back to admire her work, critical eyes looking for any mistake that needs fixing. She'll admit that she's done a pretty stellar job; Esther's curls now cascade gracefully around her face, framing it in a way that highlights the sharp angles of her face. Sofia catches the way Ricky is staring at Esther, appreciative and enthralled—admittedly not much different than the way he usually looks at her but Sofia considers it a success nonetheless.
Sofia carefully adjusts the way some of the front strands of hair fall into Esther's eyes with a quiet hum, fingertips just barely brushing across her forehead. When she makes eye contact with Esther, she gives her a loose grin. "My job here is done," she says, gesturing at the mirror in Esther's hand to encourage her to hold it up to herself.
Esther reaches up to touch her newly trimmed hair as she looks in the mirror, a smile spreading across her face as she carefully runs her hands over the shaved sides of her head. Her voice is reverent as she distractedly says, "Thank you, Sof. You always do fantastic work." Esther admires herself in the handheld mirror, turning her head side to side and the bright light in her eyes is all Sofia needs to know that she did well. And, really, the genuine smile on her face is all the thanks that Sofia needs but she'll take the compliment anyway.
Sofia grins, a sense of fulfillment and pride washing over her. "Anytime," she replies easily, trying to deflect some of the attention off of herself. She turns to Ricky with a raised eyebrow, feeling his attention heavy on her and Esther. "How about you, Mr. March?" she asks, a teasing smile on her face as she brushes the last of the hair off of the back of Esther's neck. Ricky looks startled at the question, running his hand through his hair in one smooth motion. Sofia's fingers twitch watching the way it falls, just a little too long to suit Ricky's face the way it should.
"Oh, do you want to? Haven't you been cutting hair all day?" Ricky asks with an innocent tilt of his head. His eyebrows are furrowed, crinkling his face up as he stares intently at her, very noticeably concerned.
Sofia doesn't know how to explain to him that cutting her friends' hair is the best way she knows to show that she cares—it's the only form of affection that she trusts herself to be good at. So, instead, she says, "Get over here," while lightly shoving at Esther to relinquish her spot on the stool as she pulls the towel-turned-apron off of her and shakes off the excess hair. Esther goes laughing, delicately stepping over the remnants of her hair on the ground and moving to sit crisscross on the end of a lounge chair.
Ricky hesitates for a moment, but Sofia is insistent, coaxing him over to the stool with playful encouragement. He reluctantly comes over to her and takes a seat, looking slightly nervous but his expression still open. Sofia laughs, finding his apprehension endearing. "Don't worry, Ricky. I promise I won't mess it up."
"That's not what I'm worried about," he says immediately, turning his head to stare intently at Sofia. "You work so much already." He bites his lip, eyebrows furrowed in concern as he looks Sofia over like he's convinced she's two seconds away from collapse. The expression on his face sends something fluttery pinging around her stomach and she swallows the feeling heavily.
"This isn't work for me," Sofia admits, maybe a little more glib than she should be. She realizes a moment later when Esther and Ricky share a glance that she isn't privy to the meaning of that she may have tipped more of her hand than she had meant to. Deflecting, she grabs a comb and starts methodically running it through Ricky's hair, trying to seem like the consummate professional. "So, what are the plans for you?"
Ricky scratches his head thoughtfully and Sofia bats his hand away from his hair, sending him a playful glare that has him ducking his head nervously. "I don't know much about hair," he admits, a little reluctant as he shrugs, clearly out of his element with this impromptu haircut. "Do what you think needs to be done."
Sofia hums, trying to project a level of casualness that will ease whatever worries Ricky has regarding this whole process. She takes a moment to map out the kind of haircut she's thinking for him, mostly just a trim so that he doesn't feel like he's burdening her. She also gets Esther's input when it becomes clear that Ricky has none. Eventually, they decide on something simple, mostly just some upkeep, and then she gets to work, using the scissors with practiced precision. As she snips away, Ricky's tension begins to fade, replaced by a growing comfortability with being under Sofia's intense focus. Whenever she glances over, Sofia catches Esther's eye as she watches them from the lounge chair, a fond smile on her face. It's nearly an exact copy of the way Ricky had looked at the two of them earlier and once again a wave of emotions overcomes Sofia that she can't even begin to parse through.
The conversation flows easily between them, just as it had while Sofia was cutting Esther's hair. Esther shares stories of her latest endeavors with magic, and Sofia partially listens while she explains to Ricky magical concepts that he needs clarification on. It's sweet, the way they have a very clear division of interests but still so easily share their days with each other. Sofia misses that kind of unconditional support but she tries not to sit with the feeling, attempting to convince herself that she’s content with witnessing it secondhand.
Ricky's haircut takes less time than Esther's, in part due to the fact that he just had less work that needed to be done. When Sofia eventually steps back from Ricky, handing him the mirror Esther had previously held, he runs a hand through his freshly trimmed hair with a pleased grin. "Thank you," he says, gaze strong as he looks at Sofia through the reflection in the mirror. It nearly burns, the back of Sofia's neck heating up. He glances over at Esther for confirmation before saying, "It looks great."
Once again going for casual, Sofia playfully swats at his shoulder. "It sure does. Maybe you'll think about coming to me more often."
Ricky laughs and Esther softly does too as she crawls off the lawn chair, slowly stretching once she clambers to her feet. She meanders over to them as Sofia turns to start packing up her tools. As Ricky bundles up the bath towel to toss into the laundry, Esther puts a soft, searching hand on Sofia's elbow. "Do you have time to stay for dinner?" she asks, looking up at Sofia through her eyelashes.
Sofia's hands falter from where they're organizing the last of her supplies but she still manages what she hopes is an easy smile when she says, "Of course, I know the drill." It's routine, after all. And besides, Sofia isn't in much of a rush to get back to Staten Island.
Once everything is packed up and organized, the three of them head inside, Sofia feeling a mix of contentment and anticipation. Dinner with Esther and Ricky is always an enjoyable affair—a time for her to make genuine connections with people that aren’t her mother. It's the only opportunity she has had available to her in a long time to eat dinner with people who aren't her overwhelmingly loud Italian family. Sofia inexplicably feels a sense of belonging whenever she's with Esther and Ricky and every time she leaves their apartment, the bubble bursts. The transition from the warm, comfortable environment with them to the harsh chill of the city is not something Sofia particularly favors. She'll put it off as long as she can.
Once everything has been put back in its proper spot and Sofia has returned her set of barber's tools to the rest of her stuff by the entranceway, Esther and Ricky immediately take charge of the kitchen. They're predictably insistent that Sofia relax while they figure out dinner. Sofia is content to do as she's told and she settles herself on the kitchen counter, lightly swinging her tired feet as Esther and Ricky seamlessly work around each other to make their meal. They move around each other effortlessly, Ricky putting a steadying hand on the small of Esther's back when he's reaching around her to grab something and Esther laying a gentle hand on his upper arm as she passes him. Ricky also leans past Sofia with practiced ease, moving in and out of her space as if it were the most natural thing to do and shooting her happy grins as he does it. And Esther presses her palm to Sofia's knee and sometimes on her lower thigh when she needs to grab something from the cupboard behind her head and gently eases the cupboard door open, always being sure to keep Sofia's head out of the way.
Sofia nearly wishes she felt like she was intruding on these moments. It's almost too natural for them all at this point and Sofia wishes it wasn't because leaving to take the ferry home always hurts but it hurts more after spending time with the two people she feels most at peace with.
As dinner comes together, the apartment fills with the comforting aroma of home-cooked food and the sound of occasional laughter. It's easy for Sofia to sit here and tease Ricky for an accidental spill or carefully swing her feet at Esther when she gets within range. The playfulness is a welcome change of pace from the kinds of things they all deal with outside of this apartment and Sofia's heart swells with the warmth of it all.
It's easy to tell when dinner is almost ready because Ricky sets in on doing the dishes while he waits for Esther to be done with her part, flicking water at Sofia as he does so. "I'll set the table," Sofia says enthusiastically, hopping down from the counter to move to where she knows the utensils are kept.
This happens every time but still, Esther glances over from the stovetop with a dismayed expression on her face. "Oh, Sof, you're a guest, you don't have to do that."
And, as always, Sofia shrugs her off. She's already collected a handful of forks and knives and is now moving to grab the plates before Esther can insist otherwise. She shoots Esther an easy grin, putting a careful hand on her shoulder as she passes by. "Of course I do, you two cooked. Let me help."
Esther acquiesces with a tilt of her head just like always, acknowledging that this isn't a battle she's ever going to win. Sofia leaves the kitchen with a triumphant grin, heading to the dining room table to arrange the plates and utensils on it with practiced ease. She settles everything down in its usual spot. Once everything is set and the food has finished cooking, Esther and Ricky carry out their parts of the meal, setting down the dishes on the potholders Sofia had laid out. They settle down to eat, Sofia across from Ricky and Esther just as she always is.
Dinner is a quiet, comfortable affair. Esther has prepared one of the things she has perfected making—a flavorful vegetable stir-fry that's nutritional enough that Ricky doesn't even eye the entree critically once, while Ricky has cooked up some perfectly seasoned grilled chicken—one of the only things either of them can get him to eat routinely that isn't any of his health meals. It's something they've made before that Sofia raved about for weeks afterward and she knows that they made this for her this time, that they're trying to make her favorite. It works because, after a long day of eating granola bars and chips in between clients, Sofia's mouth waters just looking at it. Her major meal for the day before this had been a premade salad for lunch that had left much to be desired. This dinner is just what she needs and Ricky and Esther seem to know it.
They serve up the food easily, Sofia filling the silence with chatter that she hadn't been partaking in while she was cutting hair. Ricky and Esther are the only friends she has seen in the last week and Sofia can't help but talk for as long as she’s allowed, eager to be with her friends and have nothing else vying for her attention. After days of only talking with salon clients and her mother, this is a welcome change in routine.
"This is fantastic, as always," Sofia says at one point, gesturing down to her half-empty plate with her fork. "Thank you for making it."
"Of course," Esther says with an easy smile. "It's only fair after the day you've had." Sofia wants to protest, insist that it's no trouble for her to help her friends out but then Ricky is cutting in eagerly, excited at indoctrinating any of his friends into at least a semi-health-conscious lifestyle. It would be overbearing if it wasn't so endearing and innocent.
"I can send you the recipe if you'd like," Ricky says through a mouth full of food. "But, I mean, it's nice to cook it for you. I won't speak for Esther, but I never mind making this for you." Esther gives an insistent nod of her head as she chews on her dinner, emphatically agreeing with Ricky.
Sofia looks down at her plate so that she doesn't have to look either one of them in the eyes, endlessly touched by their care for her. She never imagined she'd find people like this but, yet, here they are. And Sofia knows that they mean it when they say they'll always be willing to cook for her, that they genuinely enjoy having her around, and it's a nearly heartbreaking sentiment. She hopes they can't read the parade of emotions crossing her downcast face.
"Thank you both," Sofia says softly, a genuine smile playing on her lips as she pushes some broccoli around on her plate. "This has been the best part of my week." And maybe that's more telling than she'd like it to be but Sofia doesn't look up to see the expressions on their faces.
"We're always here for you," Esther says, reaching across the table to squeeze the hand that Sofia isn't using to stab her food with. The touch has her glancing up involuntarily, catching Esther's eye for a long moment.
Ricky tilts his head at the exchange, his eyes flitting between both of them for a moment. "You don't have to cut our hair to be invited over," he says after a beat of silence and Sofia nods, pulling her hand out of the touch nervously. She gives a weak grin, trying to cover the nerves lighting up her whole body.
"How else would I get you two to make me dinner?" Sofia deflects, spearing another forkful of food. They all laugh, Esther and Ricky doing so maybe only because of Sofia's obvious fluster.
As dinner comes to an end, they all move in tandem to clean up the table. Ricky and Esther try to stop Sofia from helping but she is politely insistent just like her mother always taught her to be, quickly clearing away all three plates and carrying them to the kitchen before either one of them can do anything to stop her. They follow close behind her into the kitchen, bringing the last of the dishes and setting them down in the sink. Esther stops Sofia's hand as it moves toward the faucet handle, giving her a downright murderous glare. "Don't even think about it. Ricky and I will do these later."
Sofia laughs, raising her hands in surrender. She knows when to pick her battles and she also knows when something is a lost cause. "Alright, alright, you win. Just promise me you'll let me help with something else next time."
"Absolutely not," Esther says with a finality that leaves no room for argument, and Ricky nods in agreement. Sofia huffs but doesn't say anything else on the contrary. Every once in a while, it's good to let them think they've won.
With the dishes sorted, albeit reluctantly, the three of them settle into the living room together to watch TV together—likely a trash reality show that Ricky will ask a million questions about. They fit easily onto the couch together and Sofia somehow ends up between them, her and Esther pressed against each other on one end of the couch and Sofia turned sideways so that her feet are resting in Ricky's lap and her back is leaning heavily into Esther's side. Esther has an arm wrapped around her shoulder and is mindlessly toying with the ends of Sofia's hair with one hand while she presses buttons on the TV remote with the other.
As they watch a show that Sofia isn’t entirely familiar with but understands the premise of—it's not particularly hard to track when most reality shows have the same general motif—she feels a sense of contentment wash over her. The familiar back and forth of Ricky asking oblivious questions and Esther and Sofia responding with exasperated answers fills the room and eases any of Sofia's lingering nerves.
In this moment, Sofia knows that she is exactly where she belongs—surrounded by two people she trusts implicitly and totally. The stress and worry of the rest of the world and its problems fade away, replaced by a peace that Sofia rarely allows herself to indulge in. Ricky and Esther make it easy, though, and she watches them laugh in the glow of the TV, completely enraptured. It's easy to let herself fall into the blanket of comfort they've created with each other. She could lose herself for hours in the familiar back and forth.
Still, it has to come to an end eventually. After the second mind-numbing episode ends and a commercial begins to play on screen, Sofia forces herself to sit up on the couch, stretching reluctantly. "The ride home is only going to get worse the later it gets," she sighs, glancing drearily out at the dark night. She's already dreading the return to her lonely apartment with only her mother for company and she hasn't even gotten up off the couch yet.
Esther glances at Ricky over Sofia's shoulder for a brief moment and she feels a spike of panic strike through her, unsure what they're silently conveying to each other. The look they share is heavy and silent and for the first time all night, Sofia feels left out. Before she can make up an excuse and escape as quickly as humanely possible, Esther's eyes are back on her and her face is purposefully neutral when she very carefully says, "You could stay."
Sofia is thrown, this offer has never been made to her before, at least not under such circumstances, and the spark in her stomach turns into a small flame of hope without her permission. Making a valiant effort to squash it, she squints at Esther's tone, completely unreadable, before falling back on her years of ingrained politeness. "Oh, I couldn't possibly impose." She trails off a little awkwardly, feeling like there's more she should say but not knowing what or how. All of the air in the room has been sucked out, leaving Sofia feeling like she's gasping at nothingness. She has no idea how they got here or what's going to happen next. It's terrifying and exhilarating all at once.
"It's no trouble," Esther says.
At the same time, Ricky says, "We want you here."
Sofia can feel heat traveling over the back of her neck and she sits up a little straighter. Unsure who to look at, she stares down at the floor instead. She wants to give in and stay but she knows if she stays, she's going to say or do something that there's no going back on. The inevitability is terrifying and sends ice-cold waves of anxiety washing over her. Her resolve wavers at one glance at Ricky and then Esther, who both look so open and inviting. "Are you sure?" she can't help but ask, torn between wanting to stay and not wanting to intrude on their personal space. "I've been here all evening with you two and you haven't had any time alone together because of me—"
Sofia is almost grateful when Esther cuts her off from her ramble, embarrassment already hitting her full force. She's less grateful when she hears the words that come out of her mouth. "Okay, I think we should talk," Esther says, mouth pressing into a thin line. Sofia's heart drops into her stomach. "Listen, Sof—"
"Have I done something wrong?" Sofia asks, the words coming out of her mouth before she can stop them as she pulls further away from Esther and slips her feet off of Ricky's lap to settle them on the cold hardwood floor. Their touch now feels scorching under the anxiety this conversation turn has elicited in her.
"No, why would you think that?" Ricky asks, his usual brand of loveably clueless. His head is tilted like a puppy, an eerily similar expression to the one Ox wears when he's begging for food.
Sofia huffs out an exasperated laugh. "'We need to talk,'" she air quotes sarcastically. "That sentence never leads anywhere good."
"It's not... bad. At least, I don't think so," Esther says and really that's worse because now hope is twisting itself into knots in Sofia's stomach at the same time as her heart is being crushed by the weight of the uncertainty of where this is going. Whatever happens, she knows she isn't prepared for it.
Sofia takes a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. "Okay, then let's talk," she says, her voice impressively level despite the way she feels like she has been actively flipped upside down and repeatedly shaken until all of her stuff falls out of her pockets like a cartoon character. She forces herself to look directly at Esther and then Ricky, willing herself to withstand however this conversation ends.
Esther slowly reaches out to take Sofia's hand in hers, giving her plenty of time to reject the touch if she wanted to. The way the comforting gesture sends conflicting emotions swirling within Sofia almost makes her wish she had rejected it. "Look, Sof, we care about you. A lot," Esther begins, her voice gentle yet intimidatingly firm. "And we've been talking, Ricky and I, and we've sort of realized something."
Ricky nods in agreement, offering a supportive smile. "Esther and I are dating," he adds like this is pertinent information that Sofia needs to know going forward. Esther sighs quietly and Sofia huffs out a disbelieving breath.
"Obviously," Sofia laughs, allowing some of the tension to fall off of her shoulders at Ricky's obliviousness. She's also rapidly trying to keep up with where this conversation is leading. All of the possible outcomes stretch before her all at once and she's helpless to the path that gets chosen.
Ricky continues, undeterred by any disbelief on Sofia or Esther's part, quickly running a hand through his hair as he says, "And we love each other. A lot." Sofia glances at Esther, completely thrown off by where this might be going. She would almost think he was bragging if that wasn't the complete opposite of Ricky's entire personality.
Esther cuts in easily, giving Ricky a break as she takes the path of least resistance and simply says, "We want to date you too."
Sofia's world stops spinning. There's suddenly a million different thoughts running through her head, none of them comprehensible. If there was ever a time Sofia wished she could freeze time and just sit with her thoughts for a little while, this would be the moment. But she can't and Esther and Ricky are both staring at her with a mixture of hope and anxiety. The fluttering feeling is back in her gut when she nods slowly, gripping the edge of the couch like a lifeline. She takes a deep breath, feeling the knot in her stomach slowly unraveling.
The first thing that comes to mind is probably not the best reaction but it's all she can manage when she says, "I don't want to ruin what you two have already established." She doesn't let herself hope, doesn't let herself relax into what Esther and Ricky are offering her. It hardly seems real even as she lays all of her insecurities out in front of them, unable to stop the direct line from her brain to her mouth at this moment. "I'll mess things up, or be the odd one out. You two are already perfect for each other."
Ricky reaches out for the briefest second before pulling his hand back like he's scared to encroach on her space or overwhelm her with too many things at once. "This isn't—you won't be the odd one out," he says carefully, slowly like he's considering every single one of his words and still not quite sure of what he's saying.
Esther nods emphatically. "This isn't about replacing anything or anyone. We want you to be a part of our relationship." And, oh boy isn't that something. There are so many variables, so many possible things that could go wrong that play through Sofia's mind in an instant. Still, there's nothing in the world that could stop her from nodding her head in this moment.
"Okay," Sofia breathes out, every movement feeling shaky and uncertain. "Yeah."
"Yeah?" Esther questions, ducking her head to catch Sofia's eyes. They look at each other for a moment in silence, staring wide-eyed and nervous.
Sofia nods to herself, encouraged as she finds her voice to say, "Yeah. Yes."
They stare at each other for what feels like an endless eternity, Esther's hand on Sofia's burning and fusing them together. Esther steels herself, pulling her shoulder back like Sofia has often seen her do before charging into a fight. "Sof, can I—" Esther clears her throat nervously. "Can I kiss you?"
"Of course," Sofia breathes out, and then oh. Kissing Esther is different than what Sofia is used to, softer in ways that make sense as soon as she notices them. She's not as confident as she seems but Sofia doesn't mind—she understands the nerves. The kiss is tentative at first, a gentle exploration of each other's lips and careful testing of boundaries. Sofia can feel her heart pounding in her throat as the warmth of Esther's touch trails up her arms. Suddenly, it feels like things start to slot into place. Sofia can't help but smile, a little smitten, as they break the kiss. Esther doesn't stray far, still very much in Sofia's space as they pull apart. Not that she minds. "Uh, wow," Sofia stutters and she can feel her face heating up more than it already has, especially as Ricky moves closer to them both on the couch.
Sofia turns to look at him, shaken but also overwhelmingly happy. She can read every single one of Ricky's thoughts on his face without even trying. It's no surprise when he asks, "Can I also kiss you?" He's shy and so unendingly endearing as he watches Sofia carefully, looking ready to back up within a moment's notice if need be.
Sofia gives only a half nod in warning before she fists the front of Ricky's shirt in one hand to tug him towards her while sliding her other hand behind his head to guide their lips together. In all of the ways that kissing Esther was, Ricky is the exact opposite. Mostly in that, he kisses just like how Sofia would expect, eager and excited but also so gentle it nearly hurts as he carefully cradles her face in his hands. He gives their first kiss his all and it isn't perfect—largely in part due to the swirling nerves in Sofia's stomach that have spread throughout her body and are making her limbs tingle. Her hands shake as she grasps at his shoulders, angling herself to make the kiss smoother. Sofia can feel Esther's warmth at her side, pressing into her in anticipation.
Sofia finds herself caught between them as she pulls away from the kiss with Ricky, disbelief bubbling up in her throat. Esther is slotted against her back and Ricky is pressed almost entirely into her front, which is not something she ever thought she would get to experience but it's everything she could have ever needed in this moment. She blurts the first thing she can think of, which is, embarrassingly, "I guess I'm staying the night now." She lets her forehead fall against Ricky's shoulder, face heating up as she breathes in his cologne.
"Like you ever had a choice," Esther teases, trailing one of her hands slowly up and down Sofia's arm in a way that makes her nearly combust on the spot. She's sure the two of them together are going to be the death of her.