Work Text:
Jamie had finished the season out at Richmond when the breakup happened, he didn’t want to leave his team just yet. But, as soon as the season ended he talked to Rebecca about his contract, and his manager sat next to him. He had been offered a great deal at Chelsea, and he was going to take it. He wasn’t looking for any negotiations, it was purely just a courtesy to let Rebecca know. She deserved it. Rebecca smiled knowingly, congratulated him on the opportunity, and let the transfer go through. Chelsea was close enough that he still had his friends around him but wasn’t constantly reminded of the pain that Richmond had now become.
He had just finished his second season at Chelsea, he had settled in very nicely. The coach was great, the lads were nice, and he liked playing for them. It, unfortunately, wasn’t like Richmond, and it thankfully wasn’t like Man City, and he settled there nicely. He did like his house better here in Chelsea, a smaller one than what he was used to, but felt very homey. It had been a while since he lived alone, and he decorated it with reminders that he wasn’t.
If I wanted to know who you were hanging with while I was gone I would have asked you
Jamie heard it from Colin first. They were sitting outside, they had just finished dinner. Jamie could make a mean chicken piccata, and when Colin heard he was making it, he invited himself over. Jamie knows now that there was also an underlying reason.
“Chelsea is trying to get Roy,” he states without warning. Jamie turned to look at him, Colin was already staring at him. He nodded his head and brought his beer up to his lips, took a long sip. God, he wishes he had something stronger right now.
“Has he entertained it?” Jamie likes to think that Roy wouldn’t. That he’d have some common sense and turn them down immediately. It had taken a long time for Jamie to get over Roy, couldn’t properly do it until he left Richmond. Unsurprisingly, it’s hard to get over your ex-boyfriend when having to be around them constantly, and when they’re your coach. Harder when both of your exes start to date each other too, Jamie was grateful when that didn’t last too long. Made finishing the season there a little more tolerable.
“Not that I’ve heard. But, I have seen Rebecca in his office a bit more than unusual,” Jamie nods and takes another long sip of his beer, it becomes empty quicker than he’d like. Colin just wordlessly hands him the rest of his beer that Jamie downs.
“Nobody has said anything at Chelsea to me, not like they would know too,” Jamie and Roy weren’t out to the public, just the team. He had not told anyone at Chelsea he had dated Roy. He hadn’t told any of them that he was bisexual. Jamie liked Chelsea, but most teams still weren’t safe like Richmond had become.
“If he goes to Chelsea, you could come back to Richmond,” Colin states like it’s easy. Jamie shakes his head. He hasn’t pictured himself coming back to Richmond, never had a reason to. As long as Roy would be there, Jamie wouldn’t be. Jamie hasn’t even thought about the fact that Roy would ever leave.
“Yeah, maybe,” the conversation ends there. Jamie picks up the plates and puts them in his dishwasher. Colin knows it’s time for him to leave, and he gives an extra tight hug to Jamie before he walks out the door. Jamie looks at the team group chat just to see if they’ve been whispering about this, and he doesn’t see anything. If no one on Chelsea knows, it means Roy hasn’t been considering it. It’s a one side proposition. Relief fills his body. He turns his phone off and grabs his coloring book to relax with as he throws on a random TV show.
Jamie lets his mind wander, on how Roy reacted when he got the offer from Chelsea. Chelsea was Roy’s team, he had to have felt some sort of excitement at first. When did Roy realize he had to turn it down or say he had to think when he knew he already had an answer? Had he even thought that? That he couldn’t possibly come to Chelsea, his ex was there. Or, was he entertaining it?
Jamie finished his coloring page and is brought back to when his art would end up on the fridge next to Phoebe’s. He looks over at his empty fridge, rips out the page, and sticks it on there with a magnet before heading to bed.
But I felt it when I passed you. There's an ache in you put there by the ache in me
Jamie is getting his coffee at his usual place. It’s close to the stadium, close to his house, so it was an easy place to stop at. They didn’t have the best pastry options, and his coffee turned out different every time, but he loved it there. Not many people would come in normally, it gave him plenty of privacy when he would sit in the corner and sip on his latte. They didn’t have his chocolate croissant today, which was a bummer.
It’s extra quiet today, Jamie thinks it has to do with the rain. The whole town is quiet, only a few people passing in front of the window he’s sitting out all walking with their umbrellas. He’s looking down at his phone when he hears the bell above the door ring, and subconsciously his head looks up. He barely glances at the person entering before he looks down, and then his heart speeds up just a bit.
He knows exactly who just fucking walked in through the door.
He peaks his eyes back up, Roy is standing there at the register ordering something. Thinks he hears him say ‘for here’, and nervousness fills Jamie. He sees the moment Roy notices him. Just after he paid, he turns around to look for a table to sit at, and his eyes land on Jamie. Jamie, who is looking right at him. It had been years since they last spoke. Seeing Roy came with the sport. They’d be at the same events, and once Richmond had to play Chelsea so couldn’t avoid him there. This encounter though was different. A neutral location and Roy was in Chelsea. That’s the first thing Jamie realized. Roy was in fucking Chelsea, and he knew why.
Jamie offers a small wave, his face stays neutral and so does Roy. Roy is the one who comes up to him and sits down when Jamie gestures for him to take the empty seat.
“Hi, Roy,” Jamie breathes out as he takes the sight of him in. He’s wearing all black, like usual. A black leather jacket, pants, shirt, and shoes.
“Hi, Jamie,” the barista comes between them and sets down the black coffee Roy ordered in front of him. It’s still steaming as he takes a sip, Jamie used to tell him he had an iron mouth. That hasn’t changed, but they have. Roy looks older, a few grays peaking in his beard, but not on his head. Jamie looks older, but different than the way Roy looks older. He looks like he grew into himself more, with a natural smile on his face that he didn’t use to have. Both of them look good, and maybe that’s what leads Jamie to invite Roy over. He doesn’t know why he does it, but he does. He wants to, so he does. Roy looks surprised at the invitation, but he doesn’t hesitate when he says yes to it. They walk out together, Jamie leading the way through the city.
We could call it even, you could call me babe for the weekend
Jamie is the one who shoves Roy into the wall as soon as he enters his home. He’s the one who presses his lips to his, but Roy is the one who pulls him closer. The kiss is messy but familiar. It’s muscle memory kissing Roy how he likes. His hands are gripping the back of his head playing with his hair at the bottom, Roy’s hands are laid on his lower back gripping his shirt. Roy had grown his beard out just a tad longer than he normally did, and Jamie loved the feeling of it against his face. Loved it even more when Roy pulled back and kissed down his neck. Jamie collapsed into Roy like he was trying to push him through the wall he was up against. Gasps were leaving his mouth as Roy visited the familiar areas of Jamie’s neck.
“Bed?” Roy comes up to whisper in his ear, and Jamie is reminded that Roy has never been here before. He pulls back and grabs Roy’s hand to lead him to his room. Roy is pulling off his shirt while Jamie grabs a condom and lube from his bedside table. He holds them out in front of his body while standing in front of Roy, who smiles at him as he takes them from him, just to throw them on the bed and take off Jamie’s shirt too. His hands roam Jamie’s body, traces over the new tattoos on his chest that he’s never seen before. Jamie just stands there and takes it all in. Missed the touches from Roy. His eyes are closed, he can’t open them right now. Can’t face what’s happening. He knows this is a bad idea, but he can’t bring himself to care right now. He just wants this.
The steps are the same. Roy lays above him as they make out, and he puts the first finger in as they lazily kiss. Trying to distract him from the discomfort at the first touch, but Jamie is begging for it. He’s gasping into Roy’s mouth and grinds back onto it. Before he even knows it he’s begging for a second finger, then a third, before he’s shoving the condom at Roy to put on. Roy isn’t going fast enough, so Jamie switches the position, He pushes Roy onto the bed, grabs the condom from him, and rips it open to slide onto him. Straddles him, puts his hands on his shoulders to steady himself, then sinks down onto Roy.
Both of them let out matching gasps and moans when he reaches the bottom, completely sitting on Roy. Neither of them move for a minute, they’re just taking in the moment. Roy’s hands are gripped onto Jamie’s hips keeping in there. Jamie’s nails are digging into him as he pulls himself up slightly and shoves himself back down hard.
It continues like that, it’s a slow-paced fucking, like neither of them wants this to end. Eventually, Jamie can’t take it, and he has to touch himself. Roy slaps his hands away and replaces it with his own. It takes just a couple of tugs before he’s coming in between their bodies. Roy follows quickly after, and Jamie collapses onto him, barely even noticing the mess between them. Roy wraps his arms around his middle and holds him there, both of them trying to catch their breaths. He pulls out from him while holding Jamie, but neither moves after that. They stay there.
“Stay?” Jamie doesn’t know if he should ask that, but it’s what he wants. Doesn’t want Roy to leave yet.
“Yeah,” Roy stays. They shower together until the hot water runs out.
I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay
Roy brought it up during dinner, the second time Jamie heard the news. Jamie was cooking, and Roy was making drinks for both of them. As soon as Jamie’s done with the cooking is when he tells him.
“Chelsea offered me a position,” Jamie turns back to him with an eyebrow raised. Jamie had to give Roy clothes to borrow. He basks in the feeling of seeing Roy wearing his clothes in his kitchen as they’re about to eat dinner together. The hoodie is a little too tight, and the sweatpants are a little too short, but he looks fucking good. He might be biased though. He turns back to switch the burner off. Opens the cabinet door to the side and grabs two plates.
“That’s why I’m here this weekend,” Roy further explains as Jamie portions the food onto the plates.
“I’ve heard,” he sets the plates down at the table, Roy leaves the island to come sit down. Jamie immediately grabs the drinks he’s prepared and takes a nice long sip. “Colin told me,” Jamie explains, not that Roy even asked. Roy just nods at him and picks at his food. They eat in silence for a bit, until Roy breaks it.
“I’m not gonna take it,”
“I was hoping not, but I didn’t wanna say,” Jamie explains. Roy doesn’t have any reaction to that, Jamie was looking for one. He wants Roy to say why he won’t take the job. That he can’t coach his ex-boyfriend again, not when he’s the one who broke up with him. He doesn’t say anything. Neither of them says anything at dinner, the only sounds spoken to each other is when Jamie is putting the plates into the dishwasher and suddenly he’s pushed up against the island with Roy’s lips covering his. A gasp escapes his mouth as he eagerly accepts the press of them against his own. He’s moaning as Roy hoists him onto the counter.
Jamie knows they should talk more about the previous conversation, but he doesn’t know if he has the right to. He thinks even if he asked, Roy wouldn’t have an answer. Even if Jamie begged for him, he probably wouldn’t get one.
You can run, but only so far. I escaped it too, remember how you watched me leave
They’re in bed, the lights are off, and the only light is the moon shining through the windows. Jamie is laying on his back, and Roy is turned to his side facing away from him. He knows he isn’t asleep by the way he’s breathing. Jamie decides he finally wants an answer, not from the previous conversation, but the last one they had all those years ago.
“Why’d you break up with me?” it’s all Jamie has been wondering for the past couple of years since it happened. Roy never gave a reason, Jamie hadn’t asked at the time, but now’s his chance. Jamie keeps his eyes on the ceiling as he hears Roy shuffle in the sheets. A click is heard throughout the room and a light fills the darkness, Roy turned on his lamp. He still doesn’t look over when he feels his eyes on the side of his face.
“What?” Roy asks like he didn’t fucking hear. He did. Jamie won’t let him pretend he didn’t, “You heard me. Why’d you break up with me?”
Roy forces Jamie to look at him as he leans over him. Jamie pushes him back so he can sit up against the bed. He looks at Roy and waits for an answer, but he looks speechless. He shakes his head, and sits next to him, neither of them is facing the other now.
“I’m not gonna answer that,” Jamie scoffs. Roy doesn’t say anything in return. Jamie can feel himself starting to get angry.
“Even now you won’t fucking talk to me. What’s there to fucking lose? The least you can fucking do is give me a fucking reason,”
“I would talk to you,” Roy whispers, and Jamie clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth.
“No, you wouldn’t and no, you didn’t. Not before we broke up, not after we broke up, and barely during the season. You didn’t coach me at practice, you didn’t talk to me about Keeley, and I was the one who had to tell Phoebe we broke up. With no communication, I just had to fucking wonder and guess what happened. I’ll say it again, the least you can fucking do right now after this weekend is give me a fucking reason,” Jamie snarls. If Roy would look at him, he’d be able to see the scowl present on Jamie’s face. But, he won’t fucking look at him and he won’t fucking talk to him. Jamie just continues,
“Richmond was my family and I had to fucking leave! You’re the one who left me, but I left everything because of you,” Jamie can feel himself start to choke up, but he continues, “You didn’t even fucking say anything at the press conference announcing my transfer, just fucking sat there like a pussy! All I wanted was a fucking reason, an explanation. You gave me nothing! If you don’t have the decency to answer me now, you need to get the fuck out,” Jamie is seething as he finally looks over at Roy. He’s sitting there, a remorseful expression on his face. And both of them sit there, Jamie waits. He watches him, watches for any reaction from Roy. Waits for his mouth to open and hopes it’s an explanation that comes out. Instead, it’s,
“I have to go,” Jamie’s eyes fill with tears. Even years later Roy won’t give him the one thing he wants. He doesn’t protest, he just watches Roy gather his clothes and put them on right there.
And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm fakin', and the heart I know I'm breakin' is my own
Jamie has barely been on his phone during that weekend, and when he looks at it, it’s blown up with notifications questioning his absence. He makes a quick excuse in the group chat that he’d been sick with a cold, and the reason he wasn’t responding was that he was sleeping pretty much the whole weekend. Stayed in bed mostly. If any of them don’t believe it, no one says anything. Jamie just lets the weeks pass.
The news gets out during the passing weeks. Roy doesn’t accept the job at Chelsea just like he told Jamie he wasn’t going to. The media talk about it for ages, it’s all the Chelsea players can talk about too. What a missed opportunity it was for him, that it doesn’t make sense for him to stay at Richmond, that it would’ve been a great move for his career. Jamie hears it all in the locker room during pre-season. Some of the players ask him to talk to Roy or ask him if knows why he didn’t take it, they even try to get him to try and convince Roy to talk it.
He doesn’t ever respond to them when they say that shit to him, stays silent like Roy did all those weeks ago.
Jamie doesn’t think about that weekend much. It definitely was a mistake on his part, but one he doesn’t regret. The sex was fucking great, and he hates to admit it, but he did miss Roy. Getting him for one weekend was enough, realizes he didn’t want more than just the weekend. He knows he didn’t get the answers he was hoping for, didn’t get the answers he wanted. He’s accepted that. Accepted that he’ll never know what happened, but he doesn’t need to, it’s closure enough knowing that he should stop questioning it because he’ll never know.