Chapter Text
When I rolled out of my bed and onto my floor this morning, it hurt. A lot.
Thats gonna leave a bruise
I winced as I thought. I slowly got up, my body aching. I ached all over to be honest. But I ignored the aches and pains. Instead I got ready for school, putting on my UA uniform, brushing my teeth with minty toothpaste, brushing out my h/c colored hair. I stared into my mirror. I didn't look awful today, that I'll admit. My hair seemed to cooperate today. But my face looked incredibly fat, and so did my arms. I could hardly see the bones on my body, which sucked. I didn't have anymore time to spare picking apart my appearance, so I headed downstairs.
"Here's your toast honey. I added extra jam, just the way you like it. Make sure to actually eat it on the way to school! And dont forget about the dorms on Wednesday!!!" My mom called out the last bit to me as I left the door to our apartment.
"Okay mom! Love ya!" I closed the door behind me and threw out the toast in the nearest garbage bin. I couldn't bring myself to eat right now, I didn't really need it anyways. I'm sure my body-fat would keep me going. Besides, do you even know how many calories are in jam? Too many for me.
I take the train to school every morning. It's not awful, though every now and then there's some weird creep or a crying baby. Today is my lucky day I guess, because the whole ride was silent. I scrolled through my Tumblr feed, blasting music through my headphones. I like a few posts with some classic sayings.
"nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"
a picture of a girl, her ribcage showing through her pale skin
low calorie diet plans
the train comes to a halt at my stop I squeeze through people, exiting the train. I wonder if they could feel me against their bodies. I wonder if they felt my bones, or if they felt my pudgy skin. Either way, I bite my lip thinking about it my whole walk to school.
UA, says the letters above the large doors to the school. I push them open and walk up the stairs to class 1-A. When I'm there, I feel out of breath. I try not to breathe to loudly, I don't want people to get suspicious. Then again, fat people breathe loudly don't they? But I also don't want people to think I'm fat. So I ignore my breathing. My seat is all the way in the back, between Todoroki and Momo. I worried about being late, but I ran faster than I thought, so there's only sensei aizawa and midoriya in the room.
"y/n! you're earlier than usual! how's it going?" Izuku came over to me. I turned off my music to face him.
"Ah good! Any new all might posters? or maybe quirk notes?" I replied
"Nuh uh." there was an awkward silence after he replied. "Soooo, what'd you eat for breakfast?"
"Ummm, some toast with jam. Ate it on my way to school. You?" Nice one y/n. Easy lie.
"Ah, same here. Well, plain toast. I'm trying to eat healthier." Midoriya said. Right. Maybe I should have left out the jam part so he doesn't think I'm eating too much.
More people start flooding in and Midoriya headed back to his seat.
"All right class. You all have physical education first, so get into your training uniforms. Aizawa says from the floor, still in his sleeping bag. Crap. I hate PE. I like the exercise, just not the bit where I have to exercise and train with others. I can feel them judging me from my every move. We head to the changing rooms, me and the other girls to the girls locker room. Everyone begins to take off their clothes and change. I hesitate, but continue.
"Wow y/n! Youre like, really skinny. Have you lost weight?"
"Yeah I wish I looked like you!"
I hear these comment from all the girls.
"You guys think so? I mean, thanks I guess." Is all I can say. I didn't think I was all that skinny. I mean, I was. But not skinny enough. Me and the other girls headed out towards the field. We ran laps, did pushups and situps, and practiced using our quirks. My quirk, if I haven't already said, is called Slime. I dont actually turn into a slime, but rather a blob of water. Only problem is it takes up quite a bit of the water stored in my body, so I have to stay super hydrated. I think it must have been half way through the period when I felt dizzy. I must have been stumbling more than usual, because kirishima asked
"Yo, y/n, you doing okay? Feeling dizzy?"
"yeah, yeah I'm fine. I need water, is all." I smiled softly at him, trying to hide my massive headache. That is, until Aizawa called me over. He's one of the few people that knows about my eating disorder, other than my mom. None of my friends know, and I prefer it that way. You know, most people with ED's deny their sickness. But I choose to embrace it. I quite enjoy being sick, if it means becoming skinny.
"Yes, sensei?"
"Y/n, did you eat breakfast today?"
"of course sir! I had jam with toast. Ate it on my way to school"
He looked at me with concern and wariness in his eyes. "Alright. But if you're feeling dizzy, you should really go to recovery girl. Bakugou! walk her there."
Bakugou? I was friends with pretty much everyone in the class, mostly the girls, but I tended to stay farther away from Bakugou. I knew about his anger issues and explosive personality.
"Eh? Why should I!?" He screamed at Aizawa.
"Because you're getting too aggressive with your exercise. Go along then." Bakugou groaned and walked over to me. The walk there was pretty much silent.
"Sooo, you really don't like me huh? Enough to not wanna take a helpless girl to the nurses office!" I laughed out, trying to crack a joke. He merely glanced over at me.
"Tch, whatever. I don't have time for you extras."
"Right, of course you don't" I muttered out. "Hey, is it hot in here, is that just me?" My vision was blurry now. I felt my self falling and falling and falling. It never ended, until it did, and I landed in some warm sweaty hands. I was still awake. Just in Bakugou's arms and slightly faint.
"Woah, what the fuck?" He said, slowly propping me up.
"Um, sorry about that, I kind of forgot to eat breakfast. Must be that. Let's keep walking."
"But I thought you told Mr. Aizawa that you-"
"Come along then!" I didn't let him finish his sentence. I didn't want to hear it anyways. We arrived at recovery girls office.
"Uh, should I stay with you? Like, in case you pass out or some shit?" He said carelessly, not quite looking at me.
"I'll be fine, thank you. Wouldn't want you hanging around an extra like me!" He glanced up at me with disgust and left. I walked further into recovery girls office, greeting her.
"y/n! pleasure seeing you. what seems to be up with you this time?" She exclaims towards me.
"Ah, just feeling faint today, thats all. No biggie, really." She nods, gives me her signature kiss, and escorts me back to class. She really is lovely. I see her quite often due to my ED, but she doesn't know about it. She treats me like her grandchild, always trying to offer me sweets that I have to decline.
When I arrived back at class, everyone else was working on Mathematics already. I could feel some eyes on me as I walked over to my seat. The rest of my day was really boring. I even fell asleep in English! At least, until lunch rolled around.
"y/n! come sit with us!" Ochaco called out. I normally sat with the dekusquad or whatever they called themselves, mainly because thats where ochaco and tsuyu sat. They were both really nice to me.
"Oh, y/n, you didn't get in the lunch line! Do you want me to come with you?" Izuku noticed I had nothing in front of me.
"Nah, I'm good. Remember? My medication makes me nauseous during lunch." Classic. That's the lie I always told my friends during lunch. They couldn't deny it, nor did it seem suspicious. The rest of lunch went on as normal. We talked about upcoming projects, the news, pop culture, and our favorite heroes. Meanwhile I can hear all the other tables chatter. They talk about exercise and instruments and video games. Most of it comes from Bakugou's table actually. Kirishima can be really loud at times.
When lunch was finally over, we then had physics, world history, and finally homeroom. Homeroom is pretty much just a study hall though, so I can get my homework done there. Today, I actually finished all of my homework, so I wouldn't have any when I got home. Nice! The bell rang loudly, a class 1-A all went their separate ways.I hopped on my 4:00 train and waited to be pulled back home. As I did in the morning, I scrolled though Tumblr.
aesthetic photos
portrait paintings
animal photography
finally the train halted at my stop. I quickly squeezed through adults coming back from work and off the train. My house wasn't far from the train station, so I never had to worry about walking in the rain, or it getting dark.
"I'm home mom!" I got no response. I entered the kitchen to see a stick note on a container.
working late tonight, took an extra shift. left some curry for you. love ya!
Nice. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom. But I love her a little more when she doesn't force me to eat. Rather, doesn't notice I'm not eating. I scoop the left over curry into the garbage bin and take out the trash. I have the rest of the night to myself. I wish I was one of those over scheduled kids sometimes. Then I wouldn't even have time to eat, and I'd be out and about. Or maybe I wished to be popular, going to parties and doing dangerous things, pumped full of adrenaline. Hanging out with friends constantly. I fell asleep early, shortly after my daydreaming. Maybe if I dreamt hard enough, I would wake up a few pounds lighter, manifesting it. Yeah, that sounds nice.