Chapter Text
“As one person who’s teamed up with BigB to another, you’re not safe if he gets the Boogeyman.”
He knew Cleo meant well.
He knew she was just trying to warn Pearl that he wasn’t the most trustworthy person on the server.
But Void he’d be lying if he said that the words didn’t hurt, that even years later Cleo still didn’t see BigB as anything more than the person that betrayed her.
Those stupid words had been stuck in his head all day, playing on repeat over and over even as BigB and Pearl had moved on from Entertainment Mountain.
As it was, BigB was hardly paying attention to the tower he was supposed to be building. He was paying so little attention, in fact, that he didn’t notice his hands shaking as they tried to place cobblestone.
Pearl however, did.
“BigB?” she asked. “Your hands are shaking pretty badly. You alright?” His hands were shaking? He looked down at them, fingers tightly grasped around the block of cobblestone he’d been struggling to place for the last minute or so.
Oh.
They were shaking.
Not just a slight tremble either. It was almost like he was shivering, although it was nowhere near cold enough for that. His hands were just shaking.
“Yeah just-,” he swallowed, trying to come up with an excuse. “Yeah.” Hardly convincing.
“Really?”
Curse the fact that he and Pearl had known each other for years. Of course she’d only have to take one look at BigB, see the shaky breaths and hands and eyes not quite focusing on her to know that BigB was not okay.
“I’m not gonna force you to tell me what’s up, but if something’s bothering you I want to help,” Pearl said, and it sounded almost genuine.
After all, she didn’t have a reason to hate him, until he got Boogeyman and killed her like he did with—
“Hey, BigB, are you with me?” BigB hadn’t seen Pearl move, but suddenly she was right in front of him. He flinched back in surprise.
“Sorry,” she said. “You were just panicking and I didn’t know what to do.”
“Sorry,” he whispered. She gave him a look that very clearly said she disapproved of him apologising, but she said nothing. Instead, she tentatively placed her hand over BigB’s on the cobblestone block.
It felt nicer than he wanted to admit.
“Whatever I said that made you panic, I apologise,” Pearl said. She gave him a forced smile that was hardly a smile.
“Cleo.”
“What?”
“Me. Boogeyman.” BigB couldn’t help but look towards where Cleo’s base was going to be as he said it.
It was only three words, but it felt like he’d just revealed everything.
It was only three words, but Pearl knew exactly what he meant.
“Don’t listen to her. I haven’t thought for a second that you’d do anything like that,” he added the again in his head. “And even if you did, I’m not going to get mad at you. Promise.”
Promises were dangerous things to make in these games. But here Pearl was, promising BigB that she wouldn’t get mad at him for betraying her. Not only was it risky, it was a stupid thing to promise.
He ignored the feeling that the promise would come back to bite him.
“Are you… feeling better now?” Pearl asked, and it made BigB realise that he did, somewhat.
He still felt untrustworthy and unloveable and like he’d stab Pearl in the back the second he got Boogeyman, but less so now.
“Yeah,” he said. “Thank you.”
Pearl didn’t respond apart from another small smile. They stood there together, for a moment, before Pearl lifted her fingers off of BigB’s, walking around the hardly-built tower walls to her section of the build. Immediately, she started working again, placing row after row of cobblestone blocks.
BigB watched for a minute. As he watched, BigB noticed something.
Something he hadn’t allowed himself to feel since he betrayed Cleo.
He wasn’t used to the feeling, but it wasn’t bad.
He allowed himself a small smile.
At some point during his talk with Pearl his shaking hands had stilled somewhat. Luckily, too, as the sun was starting to dip lower and lower and neither he nor Pearl wanted to be without shelter on their first night together.
With one more glance at Pearl, he focused his attention back on the tower.
He had work to do.