Chapter Text
Leonardo clutched the paper tightly, trying to hold on to this little thing he had the left. The only thing he had left. A picture, a picture that right now is the most important thing in his life.
Tears streamed down his face, and he opened his eyes. He saw his older brother’s kind smile, his twin’s smug face, his younger brother’s excitement, his older sister’s pride, and himself, happy.
The picture suddenly starts to burn in his hand. In a panic, Leo starts trying to blow it out. It only gets worse. His family’s faces are nothing but holes, memories. They’re gone, he failed and they’re gone and he-
His eyes snap open. His mouth is dry. His scars hurt. He’s clutching his sheets tight against his chest. His sheets. Taking deep breaths, he takes a moment and looks around. His room. Jupiter Jim and Lou Jitsu posters staggered on the wall. His actions figures and comic books lined up neatly on their shelves. A purple glow from outside his door, coming from Donnie’s lab. He was home, with his family. They were all safe.
Not wanting and unable to go back to sleep, Leo threw off his covers and sat up, feet dangling off the bed, brushing the cold subway car floor. He sat like that for several moments, basking in the quiet. Raph, Mikey, and his Dad were all probably asleep, and he could hear Donnie tinkering with something in his lab, no surprise there. Leo weighed his options. Sleep(hell no), watch a movie(probably to loud), make tea(he wasn’t in the mood), or hang out with Donnie.
Getting up, Leo pushed back his curtain and allowed his feet to carry him to Donnie’s lab. Standing in the doorway, Leo quietly watched Donnie work.
They all had their ways of coping, and it was no secret to anyone that Donnie’s was his science. Right now it looked like Donnie was working on a smaller, more accurate and harder to find tracker. Of course.
“What are we, dogs?” Leo joked, finally stepping into the room. His coping mechanism: jokes. A fancy word for “masking”, basically.
Donnie sighed, pausing his welding to push up his goggles and glare at his brother, “You know damn well why I’m making this Nardo.” There was a harshness to his tone that made Leo startle.
He paused his fidgeting with one of Donnie’s wrenches and looked up, finally realizing it probably wasn’t the best time for jokes, “I-um, sorry Dee.”
Donnie softened a bit, looking back down at his project, “I’m sorry. I’m just tired. But you do know why i’m making this right?”
Leo nodded, grabbing one of the extra chairs and rolling to Donnie’s side, “Can’t sleep either, huh?”
“No.”
“Nightmares?”
Donnie stayed quiet.
“Yeah.”
They both just sat their in silence for a few moments. All of them were affected after the invasion, and even though all their old villains had paused their antics to recover themselves, it felt almost to quiet, like the calm before the storm.
“Wanna make a blanket fort and watch Jupiter Jim Sails the Seven Galaxies?”
“Sure, but we are not watching that. How about Jupiter Jim Vacation to Pluto IV?”
Devoid of enough energy to argue with Donatello, Master Arguer(trademarked), Leo just chuckles and nods, getting up to go grab blankets.
Donatello’s mission has always been-and will always be-to protect his brothers. He’ll only stop when he’s dead. And last he checked he wasn’t dead.
Ever since the invasion and that dumbass stunt Leo pulled, Donnie has been up most nights, thinking of ways to protect his brothers even more, keeping his mind on the future instead of the past. It usually worked, except for when he did eventually fall asleep and the nightmares would come.
His “favorite” one was the one that would come most often.
At first, everything was fine and peaceful. Quiet. Donnie would walk into the lair and see everyone sitting in front of the projector, although nothing was playing. Strange, he would always think. Then, perfectly synchronized as if part of a hive-mind, his brothers, father, April, and the Caseys would stand up, snarling and growling. All of them would turn around, and it would be revealed to Donnie they had been Kraangified. Donnie would back up slowly, trying to get away. They would all pounce. He’d wake up. He’d check on everyone, they’d be fine. A never-ending cycle.
So, to stay busy and awake, Donnie had upgraded the lair’s security system. He had cameras at every entrance and exit, booby traps and alarms that triggered if anyone other than him or his family crossed, and others that were confidential, not even known to his brothers.
Now, Donnie was trying to get closer to his family themselves, making sure they’re protected outside the lair. He was working on a small tracker that would tell him where they were at all times, although this one was more accurate and gave the vitals of the wearer. They would not have another Raph situation.
“What are we, dogs?” His twin’s voice came from the doorway.
Annoyed that Leo was so careless and unconcerned with their safety(and also sleep deprived), Donnie lashed out, “You know damn well why i’m making this Nardo.”
Leo set down the wrench he was fiddling with and looked up at his brother, regret and concern washing over his face, “I-um, sorry Dee.”
Seeing this, Donnie softened, “I’m sorry. I’m tired. But you do know why I’m making this, right?”
Nodding, Leo grabbed one of Donnie’s chairs and rolled over to his side, looking at the tracker, “Can’t sleep either, huh?”
“No.”
“Nightmares?”
Donnie stayed quiet. Nobody knew about his recurring nightmare, and he preferred it that way.
Leo ignored his silence, understanding he didn’t want to talk about it, and simply said, “Yeah.”
“Wanna make a blanket fort and watch Jupiter Jim Sails the Seven Galaxies?” Leo asked after a few moments of silence.
Donnie smiled. They hadn’t done that since they were kids. On nights when neither of them could sleep, they used to go behind Raph and Splinter’s backs to make a blanket fort and watch Jupiter Jim until dawn.
“Sure, but we are not watching that. How about Jupiter Jim Vacation to Pluto IV?”
Leo just chuckled and left to get blankets.
Raphael sat on top of his bed, a hand on his teddy and the other on his eye. A constant reminder of what he did to his brothers, what he allowed himself to do to his brothers. He’s had to avoid mirrors in fear of what he would see.
How was he supposed to live like this? With this grief, pulling him farther and farther from the surface of the sea, drowning him in his tears?
He was startled by a loud crash from the kitchen. Fearing the worse, (an alien invasion will do that to a person), he grabbed his sai from the bedside and crept to the doorway. Peeking out, he observed the lair and listened for anything. Nothing.
He crept out further, knuckles turning pale from his grip on the sai. He paused by the kitchen doorway, listening again, before peeking in. There, he saw his younger brothers, the twins, doubled over in silent laughter, a spilled bowl of popcorn beside them.
Raph walked into the kitchen, sighing and setting his sais down on the counter, startling the twins who hadn’t noticed him before.
“Raph! Um, we were just-“
“Can it, Leo.” Raph didn’t care what they were doing, but he wanted in. It could be a good distraction, “What are you bozos doing?”
“Oh, Don and I built a blanket fort and were about to go watch some Jupiter Jim.”
Picking up the bowl from the floor, Raph asked, “Can I join?”
Michelangelo gripped a pencil, trying his very best to draw a straight line on the page in front of him. It came out shaky, again.
Mikey threw down the pencil in frustration. The one thing he was good at-gone. Why? Why did it have to be his hands?
Tears started to stream down his face. How could he think that? His hands were broken because he saved his brother. Because he had to save his brother. On any given day Mikey would choose Leo over his art.
There was a loud crash in the kitchen. Mikey jumped, head whipping around to look through the threshold. He saw Raph creeping to the kitchen, his twin sai in hand.
“I should go help him.”
Mikey gets up and grabs his nunchucks, silently following Raph. Now he can hear voices in the kitchen.
“…I join?” it’s Raph.
“Of course buddy! Cmon.” Leo.
“We need to clean this up first or Mikey’ll kill us in the morning.” Donnie. All his brother’s were safe. He put the nunchucks away and joined his brothers in the kitchen, “Whatcha guys doing?”
His three older brothers were on the floor, picking up spilled popcorn. Six eyes turned and looked at him.
“…sorry.” Leo said.
A few minutes later, all four brothers were snuggled up in a turtles pile in the blanket fort the twins had built in Donnie’s lab, watching Jupiter Jim Vacation to Pluto IV(no one had the energy to argue with Donnie). Leo and Donnie still up watching the movie and quietly whispering. Raph and Mikey passed out with smiles on their faces.