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Tony had been thoroughly impressed to see a guy walk out of a portal and proceed to hoodwink Thanos into not only giving up the Stones he had, but the guy had then proceeded to scatter all six Infinity Stones across the Universe again. He’d used some spell and blasted Thanos’s head off. Then he vanished while the Transcendent Souls just gave him a standing ovation…and then followed his example and left.
…Without bothering to explain a damn thing.
Well, that was until a few nights later when Sharee had called in and told Tony that she was willing to explain it to him, Rhodey, Pepper, Happy, and Peter. Strange was also invited, but only as the Sorcerer Supreme. So they were all sitting in Tony’s living room with pizza when Sharee portalled herself in.
‘Who was that?’ Strange immediately asked.
‘What?’ Sharee sassed him, sitting down and taking the offered slice of pizza with a nod. ‘No hello? No how’ve you been? We need to work on your manners, Strange. And on your patience, I think. Also on your perception of “winning”. John wouldn’t have been necessary if you didn’t have those problems.’
‘The Time Stone never showed me any alternatives with him,’ Strange said.
‘The Time Stone is incapable of perceiving John Constantine’s existence,’ Sharee said. ‘Because he’s not a native of this dimension – or even this multiverse.’
Strange blinked in confusion.
‘Then what’s he doing here?’ Rhodey asked.
‘Relocation program,’ Sharee answered.
‘Sorry?’ Pepper asked.
‘He’s from a dimension where the closest thing they’ve got to Cap is an overpowered alien that gets his powers from the Earth’s yellow sun,’ Sharee explained. ‘I mean, this guy’s got everything: super-speed, super-strength, invulnerability, x-ray vision, heat vision, super breath. In most dimensions he’s absolutely fine, and doesn’t go mad with tyrannical power until long after everyone he knows and loves dies of old age and he’s left the planet.’
‘I guess the one in the dimension our John Constantine came from went crazy early?’ Tony guessed.
‘His…girlfriend…wife…?’ She looked confused. ‘I dunno. Either way, she was killed by the big enemy of the closest thing they have to Iron Man – Batman. Batman is every bit the billionaire genius you are, Tony, with a few significant differences. First, he had decent parents and then he had the dubious pleasure of watching them be shot dead in front of him when he was eight.’
Everyone in the room winced.
‘So, Batman is the first one who starts fighting against Superman – yes, he’s called Superman, and his girlfriend gave him that name,’ Sharee said. ‘And an actual war started up – with casualties and dead superheroes and all. One of those casualties was the mother of John’s daughter.’
‘His…daughter…?’ Pepper asked.
‘Yup,’ Sharee said. ‘An alien dropped smack-bang on the house, crushed the mom and the step-dad and the kid was the only survivor. Luckily for her, or maybe she used the powers she inherited from John and he sensed it happen, John showed up right after it happened. But he wasn’t the only one who noticed.’ She took a bite of pizza and swallowed. ‘Next bit, it’s important to know that John is the Laughing Magician.’
‘The what?’ Strange asked.
‘The Laughing Magician is a title given to a line of powerful sorcerers who can ride this thing called the Synchronicity Wave,’ Sharee answered. ‘They rebuke Gods that everyone else worships. They have the power to challenge, defeat, and even destroy all manner of supernatural entities – even demons. The problem is that these actions result in an extensive path of destruction and death left in their wake.’
‘So, kinda like what Cap’s bunch did?’ Rhodey asked.
‘In a way,’ Sharee said. ‘But they’re a lot more conscious of it and rarely justify themselves. John is particularly conscious of it, and has, in the past, given many people warnings that it will happen. Fortunately, he’s also been able to contain the damage somewhat to involve only people associated with him. And that’s where his problem was. He had kept his contact with his daughter very limited specifically to protect her from his enemies. But now…’
‘She was exposed.’ Tony nodded. ‘So his concern was making her safe.’
‘The first thing he did was take her to another magic user that he knew to be phenomenally powerful and could help him protect her,’ Sharee explained. ‘Then he “joined” Batman’s insurgency and eventually manipulated the situation to take out the main demons that would be able to threaten his daughter. Then he took her and left the dimension so that Superman wouldn’t be able to threaten her safety again – never mind the other enemies he had.’
Pepper nodded. ‘Well, no one could complain about that.’
Sharee clicked and pointed at her. ‘I mentioned Batman’s childhood trauma?’
Strange suddenly groaned. ‘Arrested development!’
‘Something like that,’ Sharee said. ‘The man’s brilliant, but also completely simple-minded as a direct result of what happened to him as a kid. All he saw was John abandoning the mission. All he saw was that John manipulated everyone for his own ends. John actually had to tell him his only “agenda”, so to speak, was Rose. Then he left.’
‘And they came here?’ Tony asked.
‘They went to the House of Mystery, which is a magical, sentient house that John conned somebody out of some time ago,’ Sharee responded. ‘It came here. It settled them in England – and Joel ended up going up and asking why a Laughing Magician had come to this dimension, apparently to stay. We decided to permit them to stay in the circumstances.’
‘You knew about this Laughing Magician previously?’ Strange asked.
‘Every Laughing Magician is a Constantine,’ Sharee answered. ‘But not every Constantine is a Laughing Magician. So, yes, we’ve seen them before.’
‘So was there some deal you made?’ Rhodey asked. ‘Some deal that’s the reason he came to help?’
‘Not exactly.’ Sharee shrugged. ‘There’s only one reason John came to help. Usually, he’s kept out of shit. He got the attention of demons and devils in the past by being more than a regular exorcist. He’s trying to avoid that same attention here. Getting him to do something big requires the benefits to outweigh the risk.’
‘Meaning?’ Strange asked.
Tony sighed in exasperation. ‘If Thanos snapped, half of all life would have been wiped out, indiscriminately. If Thanos snapped…Rose could have been snapped away.’
‘John Constantine only helped us to save his daughter.’ Rhodey finished the thought.
***
‘I know what you’re going to do, John.’
John Constantine froze, for just a second. Then he sighed and tugged the blanket up to his daughter’s chin. ‘I told you, Zee. I need for her to be safe. I’ll do anything for that to happen.’
Zatanna was silent for a moment. ‘I’m not condemning you, John.’
‘You’re not?’ He looked up at her.
‘No. I think…if my father were in the same position as you, he would do the same. You’re behaving in a way I can fully understand.’ She took a breath. ‘Don’t get me wrong. Bruce is one of my oldest and dearest friends, but he does have the unfortunate habit of putting children in super-hero outfits and bringing them with him to fight crime in Gotham. He means well, but I don’t think he understands how problematic a lot of his methods are.’
John snorted in amusement.
‘You’re protecting your daughter from something that extends beyond this war,’ Zatanna said. ‘And I’ve already seen far too many war orphans come into this Tower by now. If you stay and fight,’ her voice caught, ‘like he wants you to, there’s a chance Rose will become one of them.’
John stood up. He walked over to Zatanna. ‘And?’
She pressed her forehead to his shoulder. ‘And I’m not exactly fond of the idea of losing you either. You’re a pain in the ass, John, but you’re my pain in the ass.’
John wrapped his arms around her and hugged her. ‘I don’t want you dyin’ either, you know, Zee.’
‘It may come to that, though.’
John was silent. ‘Maybe it doesn’t have to.’
She lifted her head and looked at him.
John smiled tightly and squeezed her hand. ‘When I’m done here, when I’ve got Rose all nice and safe from Trigon and Nergal and the like, I’m gonna take Rose and do a magical relocation. We won’t be able to come back but…what would you say about tethering to me?’
‘Isn’t that dangerous?’
‘Not the way I’m thinking,’ John said. ‘Can’t be touched by anyone but you and me and all it takes is a bit of intent from you and you follow us. Superman goes to kill you, and he just thinks he has.’
Zatanna smiled. ‘And really, I’ll be with you and Rose. Nice…fresh start. It does sound lovely.’
‘So?’ John lifted his hands.
Zatanna grinned and raised her hands to his.
***
Rose had slipped off her shoes to sneak into the house.
It didn’t help.
‘And what sort of time is this, young lady?’
Rose turned around and smiled innocently. ‘Hi, Zee.’
Zatanna smiled and shook her head. ‘Well, you don’t seem to be inebriated so I’ll thank God for small miracles.’
Rose pouted. ‘I am very responsible.’
Zatanna raised an eyebrow. ‘Is that tobacco I smell?’
‘It could come from dad!’
Zatanna chuckled. ‘Well, I suppose with your dad, you didn’t have much hope, did you, dear?’
Rose grinned.
‘Off to bed then,’ Zatanna said.
‘Okay.’ Rose stepped forward and hugged her. ‘How’d dad’s fight with that alien go?’
‘According to him, it wasn’t much of a fight,’ Zatanna responded. ‘Thanos had apparently never even heard of the concept of the Laughing Magician and thought your dad was just a regular mortal who was trying to bargain for his own life. Then he got angry and didn’t expect to be hit with magic.’
Rose laughed. ‘I love magic.’
***
Zatanna sighed and dropped down onto the bed.
John’s arm hooked around her neck and he let out a deep, satisfied sigh. ‘Y’know, I’m actually glad you came to me the way you did?’
‘How?’ Zatanna asked. ‘To escape being persecuted for interfering with the final verdict?’
‘That shit was just funny,’ John said. ‘Surprising, though, I didn’t think the Bat believed in killing people – especially not people who used to be his friends.’
‘Hm.’ Zatanna closed her eyes. ‘Well, Fate agreed to keep them incarcerated for the rest of their lives and I doubt anyone’ll get past him. But I couldn’t stay holed up in there forever myself. I made sure the orphans were back with their families, or new families, and then I came here.’
‘And you’re still here.’
‘And you seem to have quietened down?’
‘I have it on good authority this dimension has a Devil and demons and all that rot,’ John said. ‘I don’t wanna draw their attention the way I did our lot. Not before Rose is ready for them, at least.’