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Chapter Text

Ilsa opened her eyes slowly. She looked at the ceiling of the room she was in for a few moments before turning her head to the left and then to the right to try and work out where she was.

A wardrobe, a bedside table with a glass of water, bandages, medical supplies, a chair next to her bed, a window. She didn't recognise this place. Had she been abducted, had she lost her memory ?

She concentrated, trying to recall the events. The evening with Alana, Gabriel, Ethan's choice, the bridge, the fight. Then nothing, a black hole.
Only a few moments later, the door to her room opened and she was relieved to see Luther appear. It was then that she remembered. Her false death. Ethan had to believe she was dead in order to trap the Entity.

She wanted to sit up, but the pain called her to order. She winced as Luther approached.

« Easy Ilsa. You're not completely healed yet. » Luther said, placing a hand gently on her healthy shoulder to encourage her to lie back down.

« How long has it been ? » she asked.

« Four days. »

« Have you been treating me? »

« No, I asked for help. »

« From whom? » She really wondered who he could have called on without the Entity discovering the deception she and Luther had set up.
« Julia. » he replied in a nonchalant way that made Ilsa raise her eyebrows.

« I see. »

« She's a good doctor, I wouldn't have been able to do much without her. »

« You put her in danger... I know Ethan still cares about her. »

She pursed her lips, that last sentence having escaped her. She didn't particularly want to discuss that with Luther even though she appreciated his frankness in general.

« You mean more to Ethan than she does. » He said, trying to reassure her.

« Luther... He thinks I'm dead... »

« I know he does. But when it's all over, we'll go find him. »

« Thanks, Luther. » Ilsa replied, placing a hand on the agent's hand.

Luther looked up at her and replied with a thin smile.

After this conversation, he got up and let Ilsa rest. The wound, the emotions and the drugs had knocked her out again.

When she woke up again, she wasn't alone.

Julia was standing at the bedside table, preparing to change Ilsa's bandage. When she saw her patient wake up, Julia turned her head towards her.

« Hi Ilsa. »

Ilsa replied with a smile. She found it hard to admit, but the agent liked Julia. Despite the danger and the risks, she had helped them in Kashmir.

« I'm sorry, Julia. » Was all Ilsa managed to say.

The doctor didn't need to ask why she was sorry.

« Luther called me and I chose to come, Ilsa, you don't have to apologise. »

Ilsa's throat tightened and she felt the tears welling up. She wasn't used to being looked after. She'd always managed everything herself, without asking for help. Receiving help, especially from Ethan's ex-wife, made her feel better. She didn't feel that way very often, but when she did, she was moved.

Julia saw her distress and decided to sit on the edge of the bed before taking Ilsa's hand in hers.

« It's ok Ilsa, you can cry, it's feel good, you'll see. »

Julia's words went straight to her heart and she couldn't resist any longer. She closed her eyes and let the tears flow.

A few minutes later, Ilsa's sobs began to fade. Julia stood up, resumed what she had been doing and glanced at Ilsa. Ilsa nodded, indicating that she was ready to change her bandage.

Julia began her work, delicately and silently. Ilsa respected her for this, she didn't ask questions, she just did what she had to do, nothing more.
Once the new bandage had been applied, Ilsa lay back on her pillow.

« Are you all right ? » Julia finally asked.

Ilsa nodded shyly before answering.

« I... I'm scared... I don't know where he is, if he's fine. I... » She closed her eyes and ran a hand over her forehead. All these emotions, this vulnerability, she was finding it hard to bear.

« I know you're scared, it's ok, but it's Ethan. He's going to be fine. » She tried to reassure her with a smile.

« This mission... It's different from the others... »

Julia looked into Ilsa's eyes. She didn't know what the mission was, she didn't want to know and she couldn't know anyway.

« I don't know what the mission is, but it doesn't matter, he'll be back, Ilsa. He's always come back. »

It was Ilsa's turn to stare into the young woman's eyes. There were so many things she wanted to say and ask her. She didn't feel legitimate, she felt as if she had taken Julia's place. And surprisingly, Julia seemed to be reading her mind.

« You mustn't blame yourself, Ilsa. I had some great years with Ethan but it was too complicated between us. There was nothing to be done, that's just the way it is. I'm happy with my new husband and I'm so happy to know that he has you. I'm glad he's not alone any more. »

Ilsa smiled shyly at her, Julia's words had done her good.

After a final day's rest, Ilsa got back on her feet. Under Julia's supervision, she worked on her fitness as best she could in the small chalet she occupied with Luther.
Luther had found a safehouse in the Italian Alps. It was a small chalet, lost in a village with only a dozen or so houses. They were far from anywhere and impossible to find. The Entity couldn't normally find them, but Luther had advised Ilsa not to go out until he'd heard from Ethan and Benji.

Obviously, Ilsa found this hard to accept. She needed some air, some space. Even though she had decided to listen to Luther at first, she soon began to go round in circles and Luther allowed her to go out, as he himself was tired of seeing her going back and forth in the little country house.

Ilsa usually went out alone, but soon Julia had joined her and the former British agent was beginning to enjoy her presence. Without really realising it, Ilsa began to confide in Julia. Mostly she talked about her childhood and her early days at MI6. Julia listened attentively, sometimes sharing moments from her life. They didn't talk about Ethan. They had unconsciously agreed not to mention him.

Every morning, Ilsa got up and went to find Luther, hoping to hear from him that he'd had some news. Alas, for the first two weeks, there was no news.
Ilsa now smiled when she saw Julia arrive. Her wound had healed and she no longer needed special care, but Julia continued to visit them. To take their minds off things, she would tell them about her adventures as a doctor, tell them about her funniest patients, and sometimes bring food for them to eat together on the chalet's small terrace with its magnificent view of the mountains. Sometimes they played cards, sometimes chess. And from time to time, Luther and Julia managed to make Ilsa laugh. When she noticed, she pursed her lips gently and turned her gaze towards the mountains. She had the impression that her two friends were there to help her mourn, when in fact she had no one to mourn. She sometimes wondered if they were hiding something from her about Ethan, but she never asked them.

One morning, when Ilsa left her room, she noticed that the house was empty. She went over to the table and found a note.

"I've gone to help them. Don't try to contact me. L "

Ilsa closed her eyes. This must mean that they were still alive and close to their goal. At least, that's what she hoped in her heart of hearts.

And so she spent a week almost alone. Julia still dropped in from time to time, but much less so because she had so much work to do.

In the evenings, Ilsa would sit on the terrace and watch the sky change from blue to pink to purple to black, dotted with stars. She couldn't get enough of it, and could spend hours gazing at the Milky Way. She often thought back to her meeting with Ethan, their missions, their stolen moments.

She wasn't the type to show her emotions. At first, she'd tried not to think about Ethan Hunt, but he haunted her dreams and in recent years, she'd just stumbled across him. She'd come to realise that they were linked in some way. No matter what mission she was sent on, she always ended up in an awkward situation with him.
She also knew that Ethan had built walls around himself to protect himself. His love and loyalty for his friends was his greatest weakness, everyone knew that, even him. He couldn't let anyone get too close to his heart, let alone a woman. But with Ilsa, he had slowly let his guard down and she had done the same. Her two years with Lane had hardened her; she found it hard to trust people, let alone men.

Little by little, the two agents had tamed each other without ever overstepping the boundaries they had set for each other.

She had come very close to crossing those boundaries. In the desert when she had held him close, on the roof of Venice when they had embraced. She would have given anything for a little more, because now she was afraid she wouldn't be able to see him, touch him, feel his hand on her cheek when he was worried about her.

One evening, when she had finally fallen asleep gazing up at the stars, she was jolted awake by a noise coming from inside. In a second, she was on her feet, her weapon never far from her in hand, and she moved slowly into the cottage. She had turned out the lights, it was very dark, but she could make out a figure. She didn't dare shoot for fear that it might be Luther or one of his team, but she couldn't be sure that it wasn't a thief or worse, someone who wanted to hurt her.
Suddenly, the light came on.

« Ilsa, it's me ! » Luther exclaimed as he came face to face with Ilsa, who was pointing her gun at him.

« God, you scared me! »

« Sorry. I thought you'd be asleep, I didn't want to wake you. »

Ilsa nodded, lowering her gun.

« Did you... » Her question died on her lips as she saw the two people enter the house.

Suddenly, the sound of a bag falling to the floor was followed by an "OMG".

The man furthest back straightened up to ask his friend why he was exclaiming like that, but he didn't need to ask to understand.

When Ethan's eyes fell on Ilsa, it was his turn to let go of whatever was in his hand. He couldn't believe his eyes.

« Ilsa ? »

Ilsa shuddered as Ethan spoke her name. She was almost as shocked as he was.

Luther discreetly waved to Benji, who understood the message, and the two of them left the room and headed for the terrace.

Ilsa barely noticed them as they passed her.

Ethan and Ilsa stared at each other for several long minutes. Then Ilsa decided to take a few steps towards Ethan.

« You... You're dead, I saw you, you... » Her voice was no louder than a whisper.

« You had to believe I was dead. It was the only way. I'm sorry Ethan. »

He sighed as if he'd been holding his breath waiting to find out if the person in front of him was Ilsa, his Ilsa.
In turn, he moved closer to find himself only a few centimetres from Ilsa. He put his hand on her cheek and she leaned her head against it, offering him a smile.

« I missed you so much. » He murmured.

« I know. Me too. »

She couldn’t resist no longer and closed the distance between them by taking him in her slender yet powerful arms.
He immediately tightened his embrace and buried his face in her neck. He breathed in deeply, inhaling her scent and kissing the thin skin at the nape of her neck. She sighed with pleasure.

Eventually they parted, but maintained physical contact, forehead to forehead.

« Well ? » asked Ilsa. « Did you do it? »

« We did it. Benji, Grace, me and others... »

« Good. I'll be able to stop hiding then. »µ

Ethan smiled at her and closed his eyes. Gently, he put both hands on her waist, pulling her closer to him.

« God, Ilsa, I thought I'd never see you again. »

Ilsa didn't answer. Her heart was beating faster and faster and she was beginning to feel hot. Naturally, she leaned over, closed her eyes and placed her lips on Ethan's. He quickly responded to her kiss. It was a tender kiss, but full of passion, full of fear that could finally be released, but above all full of love.

When they parted, Ethan looked into Ilsa's eyes. Her eyes glistened with tears.

Finally, he said the three words he'd been holding in for so long and which now burned his lips.

« I love you. »

Ilsa, her eyes closed, savouring this declaration, gave him her most beautiful smile. And when she opened her eyes again, a tear rolled down her cheek.

« I love you too. »

Chapter Text

That evening, Ilsa and Ethan simply shared a bed. Lying on their sides, facing each other, they stared at each other for a long time, savouring each other's return, praying that it wasn't a figment of their imagination. Eventually Ilsa fell into the arms of Morpheus and, after placing a kiss on her forehead, Ethan too fell asleep.

The sun was already shining brightly in the room when Ethan opened his eyes. Ilsa was still asleep, still turned towards him. Gently, he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. He thought she looked so beautiful. Asleep, she looked so peaceful, so vulnerable. Last night, he had seen fear and relief in her eyes, something he didn't often get to see in her. She was a lot like him, always running away from her emotions, never letting anything show. But yesterday, it had all burst out, as if she could no longer contain herself. Which wasn't so bad in the end, because at that moment, doubt was no longer possible. She loved him as much as he loved her.

Making as little noise as possible, he got out of bed to go and get a glass of water in the small bathroom adjacent to the bedroom. When he returned, he found Ilsa sitting cross-legged on the bed, carefully trying to remove the bandage from her shoulder. She was wearing a small top that allowed her to manage her injury without having to undress.

"Hi," said Ethan, taking a seat on the edge of him, next to her.

She looked up and smiled at him.

"Hi" she replied before resuming what she was doing.

"Do you want some help?"

"No, I'll be fine. The wound's healed, I'm just leaving the bandage on to sleep so I don't have to take any risks."

She placed the bandage on the bedside table and looked up at Ethan.

He raised his hand and ran his fingers tenderly over Ilsa's scar, who closed her eyes and sighed at the touch of his hand.

"I'm sorry, you didn't have to suffer for us."

"No, Ethan, it's not your fault."

Ethan's eyes were fixed on the agent's wound.

"Ethan, look at me." she ordered, placing a hand under his chin to force him to look at her. "It's not your fault. There's only one person responsible for this. And maybe we could have done things differently, but the choices were limited."

"I should have..." he tried.

"Ethan, no..."

He moved his hand to rest it on her cheek.

"I should have told you a long time ago how much you mean to me."

Ilsa opened her mouth, caught off guard, but no words came out.

Tenderly, Ethan bent down and placed his lips on Ilsa's scar, then moved up to her shoulder, her neck and her cheek. He sprinkled kisses across her skin, one hand on her hip, the other slipping gently under her clothes with a little hesitation. But when she spoke his name so passionately, the hesitation disappeared and he moved his hand to her breast, finally pulling the fabric over her arms.

Ilsa wrapped her hands around Ethan's face and kissed him, first tenderly and then more passionately. Ethan draped a leg over Ilsa's body and she let herself fall gently onto the mattress, savouring this exchange. Ilsa moaned when Ethan broke the contact to remove what little clothing he had left and then slid Ilsa's panties down her legs. She arched her back under Ethan's hands, which caressed her stomach, then moved up to her breasts before coming to rest on her cheeks.

"Ethan..." she murmured in agony.

"You're sure?" he asked, placing a kiss on her lips.

"I've never been so sure."

She opened her eyes wide to look into Ethan's. He was always afraid of getting lost. He was always afraid of losing himself in her gaze, so beautiful and mysterious at the same time. It was the first thing he'd noticed about her, her pure blue eyes.

Ilsa, noticing that Ethan was staring at her without saying a word, gave him that smile only she knew the secret of. That thin smile she'd given him when she'd told him she was going with him to Kashmir to track down Lane. That smile was special, it meant so much, it wasn't just a simple smile.

"Ethan?"

He blinked several times as if he'd just woken up from a hypnosis session.

"I... You're so beautiful."

Ilsa couldn't hold back a small laugh.

"You're not so bad yourself," she replied, this time with her mischievous smile.

Ethan smiled back and kissed her passionately, his hands travelling over her body taut with desire.

"Ethan, I need you..." she breathed between kisses.

He didn't need to be told again, and with as much tenderness as possible, he entered her.

Ilsa moaned with pleasure. She'd been waiting for this moment for so long and now the tension could finally disappear.

Ethan gave Ilsa time to adjust and then began to move in a gentle, steady rhythm. It wasn't long before Ilsa wanted more, so Ethan picked up the rythm and she wrapped her legs around Ethan's waist in search of more and more contact.

Ilsa called out his name and with one last breath, she let her orgasm wash over her before she was quickly joined by Ethan.

"I love you", he whispered in her ear as he let himself slide to the side but held her in his arms to keep her as close to him as possible.

Ilsa placed a hand on his cheek and repeated the same words he had just spoken. Then she closed her eyes and buried her face in the nape of the neck of the man she loved.