Chapter Text
“Am i in love with Kyle?” Jamie thought out loud in front of a camera that’s recording him and a group of people watching him closely. Jamie snaps his head to look at the group who gap at him like he’s just summoned a demon. Jamie’s cheeks grow hot, heart rages against his chest, breath becomes shallow and his hands buzz.
“As a friend!” Jamie adds quickly but the damage is done and can already see the edits, the tweets, and the phone call from his mother he is most likely going to get. The camera gets turned off and they all awkwardly sit there for a moment staring at one another in shock and disbelief.
“You can go now.” One of the ladies behind the camera says giving Jamie the escape he needs. Jamie doesn’t necessarily run out of the room but he doesn’t walk either, he was just trying to leave without making anything more awkward.
Jamie is practically stumbling his way back to his room lost in a haze of thought. He said he was in love with Kyle but he can’t be he, just can’t. Jamie got rid of all those kind of thoughts when his mom screamed at him at 14, so no he’s not in love with another boy, just no. Jamie and Kyle are Just friends okay, because believe it or not twitter and TikTok don’t know everything.
Right?
Of course what is Jamie thinking it’s totally platonic and not at all romantic to share spaghetti, rub sun screen on each other’s back, and share a honeymoon suit. Twitter and TikTok know absolutely nothing. His heart pounding against his chest begs to differ.
Jamie gets to his room, collapsing on his bed, face smooshed in his pillow. He clings onto his comforter as try’s to pull his thoughts together but he can think of is Kyle’s soft eyes warm voice. He’s not gay, he can’t be, it would be bad for his image. At least that’s what his mom screamed at him.
all Jamie can do is lay there and hope they don’t put what he said into the video because he’s doomed if they do. How will Kyle be able to look at him when think Jamie is in love - romantically - with him. Will Kyle hate him? Jamie hopes not as Kyle is Jamie’s only real friend he’s had since childhood, he can’t lose him now.
“Hey Jamie how was the interview?” Kyle’s dopey voice comes from where Jamie left his door open. Jamie looks up and sees his agony stand there basking in heavenly light unaware of the poison he’s dripped into Jamie’s heart. Kyle is beautiful which makes it hard for the unsavory thought’s to go away.
You’re not gay! He’s not gay! Stop thinking about soft he looks under the warm glow of your lamp!
“Jamie?” Kyle tilt’s his head to the side like a confused puppy. God all Jamie wants to do is hold Kyle but that’s wrong, it was only okay in Hawaii because there was only one bed, but here, back home, no it’s out of the question.
“It was okay,” Jamie finally manages out even though he is lying, but he if tells the truth Kyle will hate him so lying is his only option. Kyle beams down upon him like he’s Apollo himself, though in Jamie’s opinion Kyle is much better than Apollo. “How was your interview?”
“Oh it was great i love being able to talk about more fun stuff now that we’re friends.” Kyle does a dorky giggle/laugh at the end of his sentence clearly excited about it all. Jamie smiles at Kyle who continues to ramble about his interview, inviting himself into Jamie’s room and sitting on the bed next to where he lay’s.
Jamie has butterflies in his stomach but they’re completely platonic butterflies. Everyone gets platonic butterflies especially when You haven’t had friends in awhile, so Jamie just got a little confused earlier, it’s fine now. It has to be fine now Jamie can’t afford to lose this sun.