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Stand tall. Chin up. Fix your coat you can’t have others looking at you like you’re a peasant. Tsukasa’s heart skipped a beat when the carriage stopped, and the doors opened.
He stepped out with a click of his shoes. This was like every other ball, everything felt the same. Except for one thing.
He’s only 17, but his family already placed a big expectation on him to find a wife. At such a young age he’s still learning how to do basic tasks. His family understands his concerns, but they don’t want to be far behind in the race to a new ruler.
To his demise, they found him a princess. A lively and loving girl. He rarely ever got to see her, and the times he did- he felt no romantic interest in her. It’s like something in his brain told him, she wasn’t the right one. To most of the Royal families dismay, she was kidnapped and later murdered. Only a few days from their wedding.
He didn’t know if this was a blessing from god himself, or a curse. He felt empathy for her, and cried. But he didn’t treat her like a partner, more like a friend. And now only a week later he’s attending this ball, a ceremony for his late ex-fiancé. The only issue, is the ball is taking place at his current fiancé’s castle.
He’d hate to admit it, but the day after his ex-fiancé died, he was confronted by a mysterious purple haired man who gave him a flower. He was, beautiful. Like the angels up above handcrafted him to fit right with Tsukasa. And he was a prince of a very nearby kingdom. But he was charming to say the least. He spent the first day chatting. All of his worries and grief suddenly vanished, as if he was never sad in the first place. He felt genuine joy speaking to him.
The next day of grieving the purple haired man came by once again to express his condolences. And handed Tsukasa another flower. He learned the man’s name was Rui. Kamishiro Rui. He had no siblings. He showed Rui the garden. His favorite spot was a bench beside the colorful roses dyed with certain powders. He pointed to one that was dyed purple just like him. Rui couldn’t help but laugh at the remark.
On the third day, he once again brought a flower. However Tsukasa left him with a parting gift. A kiss on the cheek. Flustered- he quickly ran off, covering his face. Tsukasa wondered if he did something wrong or offended him. He fled pretty quickly and they didn’t have time to chat and catch up.
On the fourth day Tsukasa was greeted with a tackle hug by him. They were alone in the garden as Rui pressed his lips against the blondes. He was so gentle, compared to the rough hug. Tsukasa swore he felt like he was a star, shining so brightly that everyone could see him. His chest felt funny, his stomach had butterflies, his limbs felt weak. When they parted he could barely utter a word as the purple haired man placed his head on his chest, and uttered four words. “Will you marry me?”
Which brings him to the present as he stepped inside the castle. He’s never been inside it surprisingly, as his secret fiancé lived here. It was bustling with life, men and women all dressed in black. The ones he was able to chat with gave him their condolences, and expressed genuine sadness for such a loss.
His sister on the other hand, unfortunately had to stay home due to her rapidly declining health, being watched over by only the best doctors. He could only wish she was beside him as he danced with Rui, hand in hand, under the soft glow of light, lips connected. Yet, he could never let this secret out. It’s a sin to love another man. That’s what he was taught.
How can it be a sin, when it feels so right. When they hug, kiss, cuddle, be around each other— it doesn’t feel wrong. God isn’t judging him for liking a man, no, in fact, God is pushing him further along this path.
He ignored a lot of the venue, slipping past the crowds of people. As he strayed further from the main event, the silence of his footsteps could be heard. “His room should be around here somewhere,” he said to himself, spotting it. How could he tell. Rui planted a rose between the handles to let Tsukasa know it’s his room.
He opened the door to see Rui in long drapes staring out the window as there was feint music playing. He turned, the darker sky illuminated his features. His golden eyes glowed like a dragon just possessed his body. He was mystical.
”Tsukasa, you made it,” he softly spoke, pushing himself from the open window. He fell into his arms as they tightly hugged.
”I would never forget to see you,” he smiled, hugging him back just as tightly. Rui laughed.
”You’re awfully quiet, normally I see- well hear you yelling all your words, but here you are,” his hands wrapped around the blondes back, slowly moving in circles. It was true, he was much more quieter, a lot more calm.
”Why waste this moment over shining you, my love,” Tsukasa softly spoke, placing his head in the crook of his neck and shoulders. The soft, slow melody playing suddenly stopped.
”Ah, this is the dancing part,” Rui recognized the awkwardly long silence, void of any music and only the sounds of the outside world reaching in. He let go of Tsukasa and extended a hand. “May I have this dance with you, my beautiful star,”
There was that funny feeling again in his chest. Whenever Rui complimented him, he always felt so warm inside, like he was going to melt. He gently placed his hand into the other males with a smile.
”Of course my dear,” they both laughed. Rui placed a hand around his waist, and Tsukasa placed a hand on his shoulder. With their other set of hands interlocking. Usually this dance is done between a male and female. But with practice, they were able to successfully dance together.
The soft violin started to shriek as they elegantly moved their feet with the slow monotone rhythms. The dance was by no means upbeat, it symbolizes death, despair, and the rising hope to better oneself. Rui lifted his arm as Tsukasa twirled, landing in his arms before twirling back to his original position.
The moonlight illuminated only the key features of their bodies. The slow yet powerful movements made them look sharp and clean. And as the violin slowly faded, so did the crestfallen music. They stood hand in hand facing each other.
”Rui!” He said, nearly shouting but composing himself. He was so starstruck and flustered. “I love you, so much, my heart every time you say something to me melts and reforms once more, loving you even more,” his eyes lowered as glistening clear tears formed in the corners of his eyes.
”Do not cry my dear, I am with you and I will stay by your side, no matter if you’re not shining anymore, no matter if you’re locked away sobbing for an eternity, no matter if you die, because if you die I will stricken myself from this mortal plain to be with you once more,” Rui placed a hand on his cheek, wiping the tears with his thumbs.
Tsukasa let out a choked “Thank you,” before kissing him once more. Their lips interlocking for a bittersweet aftertaste of the situation. The soft melody of instruments played in the back as the venue once again was left to their own desires to chatter among themselves.
”Please know Tsukasa, that once we find peace and silence, I can be able to call you no more my fiancé, but my husband,” That’s what broke him. The blonde let out a wailing cry as Rui gently held him in his arms. He placed his head on his chest, allowing him to calm down.
He tried to speak between sobs. “Don’t look at me- I’m such an ugly crier,” he hiccuped. Rui gently placed a hand on his cheek, stroking it.
”But darling, you must wipe those tears away, our friends are here and we mustn’t let them go without saying hello,” Rui rubbed his cheek, allowing the blonde to take his time as his loud choked sobs faded to whimpers, and then soft breathing.
”Right,” he wiped away his tears with his hand. Even in such a state, Rui still stared at him with the same loving eyes.
”I can ask your parents if you can stay over, then this night can never end,” Rui smiled. Tsukasa flustered. Sleeping in the same bed as him. The thought was terrifying yet pleasant. And sleeping in the same bed meant holding each other, close. His heart pounded even harder when he began playing scenarios in his head.
”Then I will not stop you,” he said, stuttering. Rui laughed.
”Am I too much for you? Why- whenever you’re with a woman you never stutter this much, or flush as red, or get as touchy,” he concealed a laugh as the blonde huffed.
”You’re just perfect,” he responded, lifting his head to place a quick kiss on his lips. “Let us go and see our friends before this venue closes,” he held out a hand. They both stood up.
The night was still young, as were the lovers. Talking to friends and loved ones, sneakily making it back to Rui’s room after Tsukasa’s parent begrudgingly agreed. The harsh moonlight glow as they dressed themselves in sleeping garments. The soft tussle of sheets as both of them hid under the soft cloth.
The silent whispers, and the muffled laughs, followed by “I love you,” and “I love you more.” The silent hush of both of them entangling their legs together as the night came to a close, and so too did their eyes.
Another day, gone within the blink of an eye. Yet their love only grew stronger. And only the future could know what happens next for the secret lovers.