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It was pitch blackness. There was no air to breathe, nowhere to go, and no person she could be here. She wondered, if she waded through, if she could find any sign of life. She wanted to feel something, she wanted to feel real. She wanted to know where she was, if she was anywhere anyways. But there was no solace, there was no apology, there was nothing.
Through her peripheral, there was a sliver of unreachable light that burned. Slowly it spread, creeping its way into perception, then it exploded with rings of shockwaves.
She was in water, she could feel the resistance as the waves pushed her.
“Maka?”
Said a familiar voice, just inches away from her ear.
It jolted her, and as she snapped to it’s source, she found Crona, jumping from her reaction.
Upon seeing them, she hated to realize the relief that washed over her, and the intense longing she felt, even when amidst all of it, she wanted to be apathetic.
“Do you know where we are?”
“We’re in… uhm… we’re in my soul.” They answered meekly.
Paying closer attention, she started to recognize piece by piece the warmth, the atmosphere, the isolation.
“There’s only water.” She commented.
Crona hugged themself.
For all the questions that possessed her, she had no words to convey any of them. And she wasn’t sure she would even get an answer out of Crona themself.
“Do you want to talk about something? Because I have questions and I think you know the answer to them, but I don’t know why you won’t.” She said.
“It would be better for you to wake up.” They mumbled.
“Does this have to do with me? Are you trying to protect me from something? What’s going on?”
“I. I just can’t.” They refused to look at her.
“This has gone on for too long and I’m tired of being patient. You keep avoiding me and blowing me off and giving me such a look when I try to talk to you and now you won’t even look at me at all! I’m so confused and you won’t just tell me what I’m doing wrong, even here.” She spat, feeling her eyes well up.
As she rambled, she could see hurt in their eyes, a suffering and festering.
And she could feel it. She could feel the way they felt everything so deep in their soul. It’s what she always loved about them, and it’s the only thing giving her a modicum of a clue.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me, I’m wrong. I know I’ve been a coward but I don’t want to betray you so it’s better that you.” They drew in a shaky breath. “It’s better that you don’t know, because if I tell you it’ll be so selfish. And for some reason when I’m around you it just gets worse.” They clenched their arms and bowed their head.
Maka kept watching them, there was shame.
“I promise that no matter what you say, I will never stop loving you or caring about you or wanting to be your friend. But I’m not leaving until you tell me, so don’t dance around it, and don’t lie to me.” She demanded.
They paused, lingering on her statement.
There was a crude mix of fear and hope so intense that it almost brought her to her knees, but she was tired. She was so tired, and she missed them. And she wasn’t going to succumb to it.
“I’m…” They paused.
Regret, rejection, nausea. Bile threatening to shoot out of their throat. Blood methodically pulsing like seconds counted, pushing and pulling reactively.
“I’m in love with you.” They confessed.
There was no language or action, nor feeling or reaction, to describe what force hit her.
If she could stay here with them just to say something, anything, she would. She could find words to defend her hesitance, her beating heart pounding against her ears, the alleviation and the acute shock penetrating her, making her aware of how her breath caught and her stomach churned. She was nervous, she was giddy, she was relieved, she was shocked, she was everything all at once, and she didn’t know it was humanly possible to.
But she’s gone long enough, and now they were curled into themself.
Maka waded through the water to their crumpled form, so petrified and dejected, and all she wanted to do was hold them, even as they were. Even as they had assumed the worst of her.
In her defense, she wasn’t oblivious to herself. There was no part of her she could ever ignore forever, but she tried.
She thought that it would be simple to deny herself, and only herself, and that it was safe to run.
Even when her shins split, when her lungs burned, when her throat tore, when her persistant yearning pulled taut with increased resistance, she endured. But she wasn’t the only person she left behind.
Who was she to get mad at them for keeping a secret when that’s all she found herself doing when she was around them? Who was she to tell them they were hurting her when she was the one holding the knife?
“I’m sorry.” She choked. “I wanted to tell you so bad but I was scared, and I shouldn’t have been mad at you when I’ve been doing the same thing.”
She started to shake, her body desperately trying to rack her cry. Even as she bit her tongue and held her breath.
Crona perked their head up curiously, wide eyed.
“I love you too. I always have.” She sobbed.
“Maka don’t cry-“
“I’m so sorry that I made you believe you were alone. I didn’t mean to.”
Crona unfurled and hugged her, letting her go limp, her energy taken to cry onto their shoulder.
“I shouldn’t have ignored you, I was being a coward, it’s my fault.” They said.
“You wouldn’t have had to if I had just owned up to my feelings and told you.”
“…We can just call it even.”
“Yeah.”
Maka couldn’t help but smile through her tears that dissipated into the water.
“We’re even.”
She finally, fastly, embraced them back.
There was a fuzzy, maniacal happiness surrounding the pair now. The shared ecstasy sent the two into hysterics. They held eachother tighter, and even with the lack of it, there was still too much space between them.
They washed up on grainy surface.
Maka’s eyes struggled to adjust to the contrast of light between the dark abyss and the sun blanketed beach. But like an oceanless wasteland and the depths of water, there was a balance in a shore that eased her.
They rolled over to lay on their backs, basking in the newfound warmth.
Crona gazed at her, biting their lip just slightly for her to wonder, as well as she could feel temptation radiating around their soul.
“Whatcha thinking about?” She asked softly.
”Can I- uh. Can I kiss… you?”
She let giggles bubble up her throat, unequipped to handle how cute she found them and the simple act of asking her making them as nervous as it did.
”Yea.”
Crona grinned and kissed her excitedly, and she melted into it. Until another fit of laughter broke through them again.
As they finally settled down again, Crona rested their head on her torso.
They looked at the blue sky, it’s white clouds looming overhead. The bright sun beating it’s bright, dry heat onto her wet skin.
“What are we now?” Crona fidgeted with their sleeve.
“Well usually this means I’m now your girlfriend.” She said.
“Oh.”
“But since you aren’t a girlfriend or boyfriend, we’re lovers.”
“O-oh.”
She combed her fingers through their hair, and couldn’t help but feel satisfied watching them fluster so easily at each tease.