Chapter Text
“Where te frick is Antonio????” asked Shylock.
“Eh he;s comng soon or smth.” said the Duke. The Duke rolled his eyes. Shylock was always so moody in October because everyone was drinking PSLs and he was allegic to pumpkin.
Shylok made pterodactyl noises and then Anto walked in all swag.
“Swiggity swag dang noodle the merchant is in the house bitchessss.” Shouted antonio.
The Duke applauded. “Where is the lawyer person.” He whispered to his chicken. His chicken said “bok bok.”
“Enter lawyer persno!!!11!!” The duke shouted.
Portia and Nerissa entered but no one knew it was them bc they were wearing Rare Pepe masks and griffindor robes.
“Hail o’ Rare PEPe!!!s!!111!!” Shouted Gratiano who is really annoying.
“Okay so whatever shut tf up Gratzino.” Portia said. “Shylock is that ur name yes?”
Shylock said “ye, das me.” and made a peace sign with his hand.
“OK so the law says ye bro go ahead take ur flesh do it rn.” siad portia.
“Pepe ur so smart k i will tak the flesh.” Said shylock.
Bassanio walked up to Antonio and said “Holla if u need me. i will miss u my gay lover.”
Antonio cryed and said “woman im lord of the rings.”
“BUt WAiT!!!!!111!!” Shouted portia. “Ther is MOAR.”
“Lolol what now pepe.” Shylock laughed haha.
“Ur actually doin som illegal sh*t rn sorry im gonna have to take away errything u own lmao.”Portia swagged.
Shylock fainted and then melted through the floor.
“right well oka case closed also Bass fish i need your ring.” Portia swagged again bc she is literally so fucken swaggy.
“But i dont wanna.” Bass fish whined.
Portia pulled out a stick of silver and threatened it at him. “Bro if u dot i will fuk u up i kno u have an allergy to silver.”
“Holi shet okay take it.” Bassoon jumped.
“AlrightyO ppl lets gOOO!” Portia shouted and they left.
Antonio and bassanio had gay sex and then Bassano left for ports house.
Portia and Nerissa loled a lot and also hd secsy times and then waited 4 their husbadns to get back.
the end.