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Tim can admit that he sees now what Bernard meant as he looks between Steph’s old and beat up purple van and his own houseboat. There is something comical about it but he too, can’t really put a finger on why exactly.
“You’re seeing it, aren’t you?” Bernard asks from next to him, grinning and nudging him with his elbow.
Tim rolls his eyes, “Yeah, yeah, I see it.”
“To be fair,” Bernard starts, “Everything kind of looks comical next to your superyacht.”
Tim stares at him, “I don’t have a superyacht, this is a houseboat. It’s not even near the size of a superyacht!”
Bernard laughs and pecks him on the cheek, “It was a joke, love. Of course you’d never have a superyacht, way too tacky for you, eh?”
“A superyacht is so tacky,” Tim huffs, “I wouldn’t be caught dead with one, okay.”
With a grin, Bernard softly bumps their shoulders together before continuing to go and help Steph who is fiddling with some of the boxes inside of her van. Her van has probably seen some better days, the paint even chipping in a few places and then counting the various bumps and bruises make it look as old as it actually is. Steph bought it used and slapped some paint on it and then called it a day because she doesn’t care about how it looks as long as she can drive it. And that it’s purple.
Bernard goes up to her and puts an arm around her, leaning into Steph and presumably watching whatever she’s trying to do. “What are you doing there?”
Steph leans into him as well and shrugs, “Just kind of feels…unreal still, you know?”
“That’s fair,” Bernard says and then grins, “But a good unreal, isn’t it?”
Steph rolls her eyes and lightly elbows him in the gut, “Yeah, yeah. What were you two talking about by the way? You can’t have taken that long inside only to move some boxes onto the boat.”
Then she grins up at him, “Or did you make out?”
Bernard looks back over at Tim who is slowly making his way over again and looking at him with a raised eyebrow so of course Bernard says, “I wish but no, I just pointed out to Tim how comical everything looks next to his superyacht.”
Steph laughs and looks between her van and the houseboat and then nods, “Now that you say it…”
“It’s not a superyacht!” Tim says and cuffs Bernard into the side who flinches and half-heartedly slaps Tim’s hand away as if he could stop Tim from tickling him. “It’s just a houseboat!”
“Hm I don’t know, seems like something someone with a superyacht would say,” Steph jokes and smiles at Tim before knocking their heads together and putting another box into Tim’s hand. “Come on Boy Wonder, it’s just a few more boxes.”
Tim sticks his tongue out because he’s a mature adult, “At least my boat isn’t held together by spite and duct tape.”
“You wish your boat would be as cool as my van, asshole.” Steph says and Bernard laughs again, and takes on another box as well.
“She’s got you there,” Bernards says. “Maybe some purple renovations?”
“I refuse,” Tim says, “Just no, I’m not going to paint the outside purple.”
“Aw,” Steph says fake sad, “Not even for me?”
Tim turns back to look at her and can just barely make out her eyes over her own box and the sparkle in it and sighs, “I guess we could do like a strip of purple paint around the outside or so.”
Steph cheers and Bernard laughs, leaning over to him and stage-whispering, “You are whipped.”
“If I am then so are you, don’t think I didn’t see your grocery list,” Tim replies in a deadpan voice and rolls his eyes. Bernard’s ears go a little red but he just shrugs and smiles, Tim knows that he can’t say anything against that, really.
“I can hear you, you know!” Steph calls out from behind them, trying to sound annoyed but isn’t able to keep the smile out of her voice.
Tim snorts and uses a foot to hold open the door into the cabin so Bernard and Steph can enter and then says to Steph, “I didn’t realize you didn’t want to hear us when we’re talking about how much we adore you.”
Steph immediately turns red and then sticks her tongue out at Tim, “You can’t just say that, you smooth asshole.”
“Obviously I just did.” “Obviously he just did.”
Tim and Bernard say at the same time, then look at each other and laugh.
“You both are ridiculous,” Steph huffs, unloading her box and putting her hands on her hips. “Completely ridiculous.”
“Pot meet kettle,” Tim says, putting his box on Bernard’s on the ground and stepping forward to hug Steph. “You wouldn’t like us nearly enough if we weren’t ridiculous.”
Steph sighs with great exaggeration and hugs Tim back, squishing her cheek into his bony shoulder, “Sadly the truth, I need some craziness to keep my sanity.”
“Spoken like a true Gotham citizen,” Bernard says and attaches himself behind Steph and joins the hug. Tim snorts and leans over to press a kiss to Bernard’s lips before he does the same to Steph when she lifts her head and Bernard presses a kiss to her neck.
When Tim is done, Steph turns her head slightly to give Bernard his own kiss as Tim looks at them, happiness nearly bursting from his chest. Steph sighs and drops her head back on Bernard’s shoulder, looking at the ceiling. She groans.
Both Tim and Bernard hum questioningly.
“I’d love to make out,” Steph starts, “But I know we have to finish at least bringing the boxes in if only because the car is also still open.”
“Making out would be lovely but - work first, alas,” Bernard says and nuzzles the side of her neck.
Tim snorts, “Oh woe is you.”
Steph groans again, “Man, I’d really rather deal with an Arkham breakout than with stupid moving boxes.”
Tim lightly pinches her hip, “Don’t jinx it, and personally I’d rather enjoy no breakouts for now. Plus, if there is a breakout we can’t make out after it.”
Bernard snorts and Steph pouts, saying. “Stop applying logic to my random ass thoughts, my brain is dead.”
“From moving boxes?” Bernard asks laughing.
“It’s hard work! Super exhausting! Let me live,” Steph answers and throws her hands in the air, the motion making all of them nearly topple over.
They all laugh even as they’re trying to stay upright and not fall over in a heap of limbs and bodies. Tim has had some frankly embarrassing injuries over the years but broken bones by cuddling would be new even for him.
“That’s fair,” Tim says when they’re securely on the ground again and Steph’s arms are back around his waist. “I remember when I moved into the manor and then the Nest and then the boat. Moving fucking sucks.”
“Hard agree,” Bernard says “I’d rather run from muggers again the whole day than do another move in the next few years.”
There is a pause and Steph cranes her neck back to look at him.
“What.” She says, too flabbergasted to even make it a question.
Tim sighs, “It’s happened like last year and it’s why he hopefully doesn’t try and take shortcuts anymore.”
“Oh my god,” Steph says.
“It happened once!” Bernard says and pouts. “And it’s not like anything happened now is it?”
“I think I got five heart attacks in the span of ten minutes,” Tim says. “I wouldn’t call that nothing.”
“I said I was sorry!” Bernard says and pouts.
Tim really can’t stand in the face of that and grumbles, Steph just laughs but then reaches back to hit him lightly over the head, “Do not do that at all, I know this is Gotham but at least try to not be premium bait.”
Bernard laughs sheepishly, “Yes ma’am.”
“Wow,” Tim says fake seriously, “You tried to convince me that your shortcuts are usually safe for three whole hours and she gets a ‘Yes, ma’am’ in under one minute? I see how it is.”
Bernard rolls his eyes, “It wasn’t three whole hours -”
“Oh yeah excuse me just two and a half -”
“- and I didn’t try and convince you I was trying to tell you that that situation was an outlier -”
“- that is trying to convince me!”
“ - and should not be counted!”
Steph, who is literally in between them, reaches for both their heads and smushes them forwards into her shoulders so they shut up. “Boys, please.”
Both Tim and Bernard say something unintelligible, muffled as they are against her shoulders and only when they start giggling does she release them.
“Done?” She asks with obvious fake annoyance and a face pitched into the perfect mask of serious exhaustion before she can’t help it and cracks, infected by the other’s giggling and too, starts to laugh.
They stay like this, softly laughing and giggling in each other's arms for some more minutes before they detangle themselves with a groan to finish unloading.
When they are finally done a few hours later, all three of them are laying on the big fold out couch of the living room, sweaty and tired.
Tim thinks back to all the boxes they’ve carried inside and turns his head to Steph, “Serious question, did you let someone enchant the back of your truck to be a pocket of folded space or something?”
Steph turns her head as well and just blink incredulously at Tim while Bernard starts to laugh.
“Are you serious?” Steph asks, still surprised by the questions.
“I just said so, didn't I?” Tim says, “How the hell did all of that fit in there?”
“Tetris.” Steph says.
“Tetris?” Both Tim and Bernard ask, one in confusion, the other with mirth.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never played Tetris,” Steph says.
“Of course I have!” Tim says, affronted. “But why tetris?”
Steph trades a look with Bernard.
“Babe, please tell me you’re joking.” Bernard says.
“Joking about what?” Tim says, obviously very confused right now.
“Tetris is about getting blocks into the perfect positions to clear rows,” Steph says. “Which means it’s technically similar to filling up your van with boxes but in a way that has everything fit together perfectly so you get the maximum amount of space out of it.”
“Oh,” Tim says, blinking. “That makes a lot of sense actually.”
“Did you never do that? You moved the most out of us!” Bernard asks, honestly surprised going by the expression on his face.
Tim shrugs, “I always had a backpack of my most important belongings with me at all times and the rest I just packed away and then let a moving company do everything else.”
Steph buries her face in her arms and laughs, only when she comes up for air she says, “Sometimes I really forget what a silly rich boy you are.”
“I can’t even say anything to dispute that,” Tim says and grimaces, shooting a look at Bernard.
Bernard holds out his hands in front of him, “Don’t look at me, I too, am a silly rich boy.”
Tim and Steph laughs before Tim says, “Still it feels like any amount of tetris playing with your boxes couldn’t account for how much you managed to fit in there. Is this how non-Ghotamites think clown cars work?”
Steph laughs and Tim is joking but only half because there are moving boxes - all Steph’s - piled up nearly everywhere on his boat. In the kitchen, the bathroom, Tim’s and Bernard’s and now also Steph’s bedroom, the living room, and even the deck. And those aren’t even all the boxes! These are just filled with everything that will very much stay on the boat, because there are still more boxes in her van but those will stay in it until it’s time to bring them to the Nest so Steph has changes of clothes there and some essentials for whatever might happen scenarios.
Though before Tim can contemplate more, Bernard - shaking with quiet laughter - says, “I'm pretty sure non-Gothamites' idea of a clown car is a very tiny car where somehow too many clowns come out than would be scientifically possible.”
“Of course you’d know that,” Tim murmurs though not unkindly.
Bernard just shrugs or Tim assumes he does from how he feels him move, “Perks from having a dad from outside Gotham who also still frequently does long business trips and always brings me back something.”
Something in that last part of Bernard sentence sounds odd though, as if he has to suppress…laughter? Eyeing Steph, she catches it as well and then turns to Bernard with a raised eyebrow.
Bernard grins, “Yeah?”
Steph’s eyebrow inches higher.
“Okay! Okay, okay,” Bernard says then and laughs. “It’s nothing too fancy or even a long story, just something I remembered but, well. As I said, my dad always brought me something back, like toys or clothes or whatever really. I remember this one time that I got some toys from him and together with some other things there was also…a clown car.”
“No,” Steph says, incredulous. “In Gotham?”
Tim shakes his head, “Who brings clown stuff into Gotham?”
“My dad apparently,” Bernard says, still chuckling. “Of course my mum was furious and instinctively kicked the car into a wall only for several tiny clown figurines to pop out.”
Tim and Steph burst into laughter and Bernard isn’t far behind.
“Did- did your mum kill your dad?” Steph asks between laughing.
“I think she wanted to,” Bernard says, as caught in laughter as the two still are. “They were made from some squishy foam material so there were at least a dozen or so that got out of that clown car, I’ll never forget the look of horror on my mum’s face. I think she actually burned the whole thing and my dad slept on the couch the week after.”
“Oh no,” Tim wheezes. “A dozen?”
“A dozen,” Bernard confirms. “I think I would have the same reaction now as my mum did then but at the time I just found the whole thing a bit weird and hilarious. And I didn’t mind the burning because the car was honestly so ugly.”
“Actually maybe burning a few clown cars would be cathartic,” Steph muses, making Tim snort.
“Never tell Jason that he might just set a warehouse that makes them on fire,” he says only half joking.
Bernard chuckles nervously, “Probably something I should regale as a funny tale during a Wayne Dinner, huh?”
“No!” Both Tim and Steph call out simultaneously, looking at each with the same horrified expression.
“Geez,” Bernard says and sits up, putting one hand on his heart before starting to laugh. “Holy shit don’t scare me like that.”
“Sorry,” Tim says wincing and then looks at Steph.
Steph grimaces, “Yeah, sorry but definitely not a fun topic anywhere near the others…”
“You don’t have to tell me,” Bernard says. “Actually I might be better off without knowing but I’m glad to at least know what not to bring up around your family.”
“Thanks Ber,” Tim says and Bernard shakes his head.
“Don’t thank me, that’s common decency to not ask about traumatizing events and topics,” Bernard told them both seriously. “I know if you want to tell me then you will, and I also know that you’ll stop me if I accidentally scoot too close to one or even any of your or your families’ triggers.”
“Not everyone thinks like that,” Steph points out but not in a mean way, just a tad bit sad.
Tim sits up and then scoots over to Bernard, enveloping him in a hug, “Thank you.”
Steph too sits up and crawls over to them both and lays her hand on top of Bernard’s stomach, wrapping her arms around him. “We really got lucky with you.”
Bernard flushes a bright red nearly instantly after Steph says that and laughs awkwardly, “I got lucky with you both. And anyone who is even remotely a good person tries to take care not to hurt their partner - well, partners. Be it physically or mentally.”
Steph seems to hug Bernard even tighter at that and Tim gently kisses him before tugging him down so they were all laying cuddled together on the big couch.
“I’m really glad you set us up,” Steph mumbles into Bernard’s stomach and sighs when Tim begins to stroke her hair, soon joined by Bernard.
“Yeah,” Tim murmurs. “If you hadn’t plotted like that I don’t think Steph nor me would have realized that we were pining again.”
Bernard laughs lightly and then grins, “You were kind of hopeless. But I mean I did it for my benefit too, not only did I have the chance to get even closer and share this experience with my wonderful and amazing boyfriend; I also had the chance to get to know this very awesome and kickass girl better even if it didn’t work out romantically.”
Tim feels himself blushing and can see that Steph’s ears are red as well. Tim kisses Bernard again and says, “Well I’m glad my handsome and extremely cool boyfriend did that for use and it worked out that way.”
Steph moves up and glares at Bernard before stealing her own kiss with a challenge, “Am I glad that you conspired with my best friend for the trip? Absolutely, you awfully perfect asshole.”
Bernard turns red again and laughs, watching as Tim swoops down to kiss Steph as well and they all laugh. Steph and Tim intertwine their hands over Bernard’s chest and Bernard has his arms around the both of them and they continue to bask in each other and their shared love and happiness.
It’s not too long after that, that the day catches up with them and they fall asleep together like this, curled up on the big couch and softly rocked by the water’s waves.